#(and yes that is a sleep token shirt. if u knew that already then i have feelings for you)

[starscreeam]

high school aged elusians

[ming-yu-hao]

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder | Chapter 4

Pairing: fratboy!mingyu x female reader

Word Count: 6.5k

Synopsis: When you transferred to a different university, you and Wonwoo promised that you would make long distance work. But distance proves to be more difficult than you both originally thought.

This Chapter’s Tags: cheating obviously, some angst and fluff, public teasing, unprotected sex (oops), light degradation/impact play/begging, use of restraints, brief face sitting, shit just goes down in general just wait

Warning: THIS SERIES IS ABOUT CHEATING. DO NOT READ IF IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE!

A/N: hey... how y’all doing... yeah I disappeared... but I’m back! The past two months were a mess but I’m ready to come back now and I’m v excited. Pls accept this chapter as a token of my forgiveness </3 Feedback is appreciated as always :) AND THANK U FOR 100 FOLLOWERS!!! :D

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The ride home was quiet.

Jisoo had drank a little too much, and it was evident by the way she laid her head upon your shoulder and mumbled slurred gibberish against your skin.

You opted to ignore her drunken antics, and instead just wrapped your arm around her shoulder while training your eyes on the darkness outside the front window.

Only when Jisoo trudged over to her bed after taking off her makeup and changing her clothes did she seem to have sobered up. She sprawled across her mattress, her face pressed into the blankets, before she turned and gazed at you. You were laying on your own bed, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt as you stared up at the ceiling.

Finally, Jisoo spoke a coherent sentence.

"Where did you go?" She asked. "At the party," she added a moment later.

You hesitated for a second.

"Wonwoo called me so I went to the bathroom. And then we fought because he was pissed that I went to a party without telling him." You explained. It wasn't a lie; that was what happened, before Mingyu showed up of course.

Jisoo sat up quickly in her bed, crossing her legs like a child listening intently to a teacher. She placed a hand under her chin and narrowed her eyes at you.

"You fought..." She started but trailed off. "Is that why you went off with Mingyu?" She questioned.

You stopped toying with the fabric of your shirt, completely frozen in place at the accusation.

"What?" You responded, your mouth suddenly dry. You sat up in your own bed now, staring at her with wide eyes.

"Come on, I'm not stupid." Jisoo rolled her eyes. "I saw you and Mingyu going upstairs. And then a minute later some guy comes in screaming about how he found Mingyu and some girl fucking in the bathroom. It wasn't hard to put two and two together."

You were horrified. It felt as if a hard punch had been delivered to your gut and a million wasps stung your skin at once. You could barely catch your breath.

"Wha- Does everyone know?" You cried, not even attempting to cover up that you had sex with Mingyu; Jisoo had already figured it out, and there was no way you could ever convince her otherwise.

Jisoo shook her head. "No, I only knew cause I saw you with him. And I didn't say anything to anyone." She reassured you.

You didn't say anything else. Hell, you couldn't even think of anything to say. You threw yourself back against the bed, covering your face with your hands. Embarrassment ate away at you.

Jisoo watched you in your distressed state, and she almost felt inclined to apologize. She shook away the thought and asked: "What are you gonna do?"

You peeled your hands off your face and sighed. You felt like crying again. You hated it; you were so sick of crying.

"What am I supposed to do?" You responded. "I don't even know what I'm doing anymore."

Jisoo chewed on her bottom lip as she thought for a moment. "Well... do you still wanna be with Wonwoo?"

"Yes," you said quickly. "I still love him. And I miss him a lot. But I just... things have been really bad lately."

Jisoo finally laid back down, mimicking you by staring at the ceiling. "You're gonna have to talk things out with him then. Be honest. Stop seeing Mingyu." She sighed. "That's what I would do."

You knew that Jisoo was right. But the thought of cutting off Mingyu left a sour taste in your mouth. You liked him a lot, as a person, and it felt unfair to just ditch him after the times he was there to comfort you.

But this was all so much more unfair to Wonwoo.

"Are you sure... that you wanna stay with Wonwoo?" Jisoo added in response to your silence.

Were you sure?

You said that you loved him: You loved the Wonwoo that took you to the cafe near campus and bought you your favorite latte; the Wonwoo that spent hours in bed with you binge-watching dumb cartoons; the Wonwoo that stayed up late with you on weekends to help you study for your exams.

He was still that same person. Things were just different now that you were far apart and couldn't be in each other's presence anymore.

Right?

Would the Wonwoo from a year ago have ignored your texts and angrily hung up on you?

How could this all possibly be to blame on some distance?

Jisoo took your silence as an answer and cleared her throat to regain your attention. She shifted onto her side to look at you, and you turned your head to meet her eyes.

"Look, I don't think you're a bad person, okay? I think you just made some mistakes." She said. "I know you care a lot about him, but long distance doesn't work for everyone."

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to stop them from watering.

"Just think about it, okay? I don't want you or other people getting hurt." Jisoo said. She rolled onto her other side, her back now facing you. "Goodnight. Don't stay up too late."

"Goodnight," you finally responded. Your voice was hoarse and weak.

You swallowed, and then reached for your phone.

You: that guy from the bathroom told everyone about you Sent at 12:48 AM

To your surprise, Mingyu responded quickly.

Mingyu: oh I know Sent at 12:48 AM

Mingyu: don't worry I already put him in his place Sent at 12:48 AM

You giggled quietly to yourself as you typed a response.

You: should I be scared for him? Sent at 12:49 AM

Mingyu: nah he'll live Sent at 12:49 AM

Mingyu: goodnight Y/N Sent at 12:49 AM

Mingyu: sweet dreams :) Sent at 12:50 AM

Just as you finished typing a reply, quiet vibrating sounded from Jisoo's side of the room.

She stirred in her light state of sleep, feeling around her bed and eventually pulling her phone out from under her pillow. "Hello?" She said, hints of tiredness evident in her voice.

You wondered who could possibly be calling her right now. You guessed it was Seungcheol, but once Jisoo shot up in her bed alarmingly fast you began to doubt yourself.

"What?" She cried. "Is he okay?"

You sat up yourself now, watching her with concern as she turned on the light and began rummaging through her closet.

"I'm leaving right now. No, I'll be fine. I'll text you." She said as she pulled a backpack out and began wildly shoving items into it.

"What? Where are you going? What's going on?" You questioned once she hung up.

"My dad's in the hospital. Had a stroke or a heart attack or something, I don't know." Jisoo rambled without looking at you. She ran over to the bathroom with her bag in hand. "I'm going home for a few days." She explained from the other room.

When she walked back into the room, her backpack was slung over her shoulders and her eyes were shiny with tears.

"I hope he's okay. Please be safe." You responded, though it just made you feel useless.

"Thank you," she said, looking at you with saddened eyes before turning towards the door. "I'll see you soon." She called over her shoulder before stepping out of the room and shutting the door behind her.

Then you were left alone, with nothing but the dark room and the thoughts that weighed on your conscience.

You found it difficult to fall asleep that night.

When you walked into class on Tuesday, Mingyu looked different.

His hair was pushed back in his signature style and he wore his usual plain shirt and jeans, but something about him was changed. His chest seemed to be lifted with a newfound confidence.

He gave you a small smile when you approached him, and you swore you noticed his eyes graze over your figure, but you sat down without saying anything. You adjusted your skirt as you settled into your seat and pulled out your phone.

You anxiously checked your notifications, waiting for Wonwoo's name to appear, but there was still no answer.

You finally had sent him a text this morning saying that you needed to talk to him. You had spent the past few days thinking about what Jisoo said, and it was difficult to admit, but she was right.

Now it was just a waiting game until Wonwoo was ready to talk.

A notification caused your phone to buzz, and you perked up as you thought it might be Wonwoo, but instead it was a text from Mingyu.

You glanced over at him with your brows furrowed, and he just stared ahead, biting his lip to suppress a smirk. You opened the message.

Mingyu: you look good Sent at 10:05 AM

Your skin flushed at the compliment, and you quickly typed a reply.

You: you couldn't have said that to me in person? Sent at 10:06 AM

His own phone vibrated against the desk with your response. He picked it up nonchalantly, huffing out a quiet laugh.

Mingyu: well the reason I didn't say it out loud Sent at 10:06 AM

Mingyu: is cause I also wanted to say that I keep thinking about last weekend Sent at 10:06 AM

Mingyu: when your thighs were shaking Sent at 10:06 AM

Mingyu: seeing you in that skirt reminded me of it Sent at 10:07 AM

You impulsively pressed your thighs together, your eyes widening and your lips flattening into a line as each message showed up on your screen.

You: you really think this is the time and place to be saying that? Sent at 10:07 AM

You: calm down you're acting like a douchey frat boy Sent at 10:07 AM

You smiled to yourself at your teasing reply, and you heard Mingyu quietly chuckle.

Mingyu: wowwwww Sent at 10:07 AM

Mingyu: don't act like you don't like it Sent at 10:08 AM

Mingyu: I see you rubbing your thighs together over there Sent at 10:08 AM

You felt your face burn up as you realized he could see the effect he had on you. You didn't respond, letting him continue on.

Mingyu: I know you're a bad girl Y/N Sent at 10:08 AM

Mingyu: you liked it when I spanked you Sent at 10:08 AM

Mingyu: bet you'd like it if I touched you here right now Sent at 10:09 AM

You clicked your phone off quickly, setting it down against the desk. Your face was red, and you cleared your throat, trying to focus as the professor finally entered the room.

You kept your gaze locked on the front of the room, but you could still see Mingyu shifting closer to you out of the corner of your eye.

Just as the professor began talking, fingers brushed against your thigh and began toying with the hem of your skirt. You swallowed thickly, cursing yourself for the growing arousal between your legs.

Mingyu turned his head slightly towards you. "Don't react," he whispered. He turned his attention back to the front of the room, but his hand remained on your thigh, now softly squeezing the flesh between his fingers.

You inhaled a shaky breath, nervously glancing around the room. Luckily, you and Mingyu sat at the edge of the back row; the only other people in your row sat further down and to the left of Mingyu. His body and the desk most likely concealed everything that he was doing to you, but you were still fearful of getting caught.

His hand trailed upwards, slipping underneath your skirt. His fingers pressed into your inner thigh and you bit your lip. He stared forward, his face blank, as if nothing was happening.

His hand brushed against your core, and you inhaled sharply. The corner of his lip quirked up at the sound. Then he pressed his fingers against your clit through the fabric of your underwear.

Your thighs squeezed shut around his hand instinctively, and Mingyu tsked quietly before pushing your legs apart again. He began rubbing slow circles through the fabric, your arousal soaking through. Your stomach was twisting into a tighter knot with each moment that passed.

Then Mingyu suddenly slipped his fingers beneath your underwear, pressing into your bare folds. You gasped quietly and quickly grabbed hold of his wrist.

"Stop," you muttered, your voice full of alarm. Mingyu pulled his hand away, and you clenched as you were left with nothing, but you let out a relieved sigh. You were panting quietly, and he glanced at you with worry in his eyes as he wiped his hand on his pants.

You pulled out your phone and quickly texted him.

You: we can't do that here Sent at 10:14 AM

Mingyu: I'm sorry Sent at 10:14 AM

You glanced at him, and he looked back at you. You nodded as if to say "it's okay" and chewed on your bottom lip as you contemplated sending your next message.

You: come over tonight Sent at 10:15 AM

Mingyu's tongue darted out to lick his lips and he turned his head towards you. His lips were upturned into a smirk as he gave you an affirming nod.

Time seemed to crawl during the rest of your classes for the day; you were anticipating Wonwoo's response and running over in your mind what you were planning on doing with Mingyu later.

As evening approached, a large hole formed in the pit in your stomach. Wonwoo still had yet to respond, which left a bitter taste in your mouth; you guessed he still wasn't done giving you the silent treatment.

You almost texted Mingyu a few times to tell him not to come over, but each time, you thought about his hand slipping beneath your skirt in class and erased your message.

You were only okay with this because Jisoo was still gone, but also, the thought of inviting a guy over to have sex while your roommate was visiting her dad in the hospital made you feel guilty. And gross. When did you become so desperate for some dick?

It was around 10 PM now, and you were pacing around your room while waiting for Mingyu to show up. You had changed out of your skirt, now wearing shorts and a crewneck instead.

A knock at the door startled you, and then your stomach dropped. You were really doing this again. You twisted the knob with hands that trembled softly and opened the door.

Mingyu stood on the other side, and you quickly observed his appearance as he stepped into the room. He also had changed his clothes from earlier. Now he was wearing sweatpants and a zip-up over a t-shirt that hugged his chest nicely. His hair was a bit messier, too.

"Hi," you exhaled.

Mingyu stood tall over you, making you feel small and nervous. You fidgeted with your hands as you stared up at him.

"Hey," he replied, licking his lips as he scanned your face.

You hesitated. "Um... do you wanna watch a movie or something?" Internally, you cursed yourself for being so stiff and awkward. But Mingyu's lips turned up into a small smirk and he agreed.

A moment later, his body laid next to yours on the bed while you picked out some random movie on Netflix. Once it started, the rapid beating of your heart didn't allow you to pay attention to the laptop screen; it was so intense you were afraid that Mingyu could feel it.

You were also hyperaware of the sensation of his body lying next to yours. The warmth of his body radiated onto you and the soft fabric of his clothing felt like a blanket against your bare skin.

"Are you even paying attention?" He asked suddenly, causing you jump slightly.

You cleared your throat. "Y-yeah."

"You seem so tense," he teased. He placed his hand on your thigh and lightly squeezed. You inhaled shakily, keeping your eyes on the screen. "Is something on your mind?"

"No," you gulped.

"Don't lie to me, Y/N." He said with a hushed voice into your ear. "I know what you invited me here for."

His face was so close that his nose was brushing against the side of your face while he spoke. Your stomach was in a tight knot now, and somehow your heart was beating even faster than before.

"You were so wet when I was touching you today." He continued to tease, lightly biting your ear. The hand that rested on your thigh moved up, his fingers brushing against your clit. "I knew you'd like that. You're dirty, aren't you?"

He pressed his fingers to your clit through your shorts as he asked the question. You whined softly, your hips jerking up at the stimulation. Finally, you turned your head towards him, pressing your lips to his in a rough kiss.

Mingyu bit at your bottom lip while he kissed you, and then pulled away after a moment to glance at the laptop that was still playing the movie. "You're not watching this, right?" He joked before shutting it and placing it on the floor.

He hovered over you now, his body caged between your legs, and went back to kissing you, this time with his tongue slipping past your lips. You moaned against his mouth softly as he pressed his warm body against yours.

He pulled away for a moment, making eye contact with you as he asked: "You sure you wanna do this?" He ran his hand down your side reassuringly as he awaited your reply. "We don't have to." He added before pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

The sudden shift in his demeanor left you stunned for a moment; you quickly nodded before you could hesitate. "Yes, Mingyu." The hands that rested on the back of his neck pulled him closer to you, connecting your lips once again.

His hands began to tug the bottom of your shirt up, and the feeling of his fingers brushing against your stomach left small goosebumps across your skin.

Soon, clothes were discarded about the room, leaving you in only your bra and underwear and Mingyu in his sweats. His bare chest pressed against yours as he sucked and nibbled on the skin of your neck. You let out a soft moan, not even caring about the bruises that would later appear.

Mingyu lifted his face from your neck suddenly, mumbling against your cheek with a small smile on his face: "Can I try something with you?"

You stared at him, eyes wide with curiosity, and he grinned. His eyes seemed to flash with something that resembled insecurity before he finally admitted: "I wanna tie your hands."

You felt a gush of arousal between your legs at the thought—the thought of being teased with the inability to touch his skin. You nodded in approval. The corner of his lip twitched up at your receptiveness, and he glanced over his shoulder before grabbing one of your belts off the floor.

He secured it around your wrists before pushing them above your head, and just as he was about to continue leaving kisses across your body, you spoke. "Mingyu?"

His eyes widened as they rapidly scanned your face for signs of discomfort. "Do you not like it? Should I take it off?"

You snickered at how worried he was before asking: "Can you make it tighter?"

Relief flooded over Mingyu, and then he chuckled softly in disbelief. "Anything for you, sweets," he joked while adjusting the restraints around your wrists. You laughed, and the previous anxiety left your body.

Your wrists were bound tighter now, giving Mingyu full control, and his hands squeezed your waist as he placed a kiss on your chest. "I can't believe you," he said. "Acting so innocent when you're really a little whore for me."

His vulgar words shocked you, but you couldn't deny the other effects they had. You whined quietly, desperately raising your hips to meet his. Mingyu pushed your hips back down against the bed, and then one of his hands reached up to grope your chest.

He left wet kisses and bites across your body as he made his way from your neck to your hips, discarding the last of your clothing and leaving you bare beneath him. His jaw dropped a bit as he pulled your underwear down your legs, revealing the arousal that had built up. "So fucking wet," he observed in awe.

He began to kiss and suck on the skin of your inner thighs, avoiding the place where you needed him most. You wanted to reach down and tug at his hair, but the belt around your wrists prevented the action.

You groaned as you tried pushing your body closer to Mingyu's. "Please, Gyu." You begged. Mingyu glanced up at you from between your thighs with a smirk plastered on his face once he saw how desperate you looked.

"Is this what you want?" He asked as he dragged his fingers through your folds, coating them in your arousal. He rubbed your clit in tight circles and your legs twitched in response.

"More," you said in between moans. You were already sweating and red in the face out of desperation; you could feel your hair sticking to your forehead.

Mingyu stopped his movements, but his hand remained pressed to your clit, and it throbbed beneath his touch. "What else do you want?" He teased. Your eyes were squeezed shut, but you could clearly imagine the cocky, satisfied expression on his face right now. "Tell me," he pleaded.

He suddenly resumed his ministrations, this time at a faster pace, which made your stomach twist. You cried out, unable to form any words. "Come on, Y/N. Use your words."

He brought his hand down to your pussy in a rough slap. The sensation caused your entire body to jolt and you let out a whimper in surprise. Mingyu buried his face in your neck before whispering into your ear: "Beg for it."

Finally, you caved, and you arched your back as you moaned, "Please, Gyu. Please fuck me."

A devilish yet satisfied grin settled across his face as he pulled away from you. "Good girl." He quickly said as his hands found their way to the waistband of his sweatpants. You glanced down, seeing the way his cock strained against the fabric. You wanted to reach out and feel him, but all you could do was lie there helplessly as he undressed himself. He lowered his pants further down his hips until he suddenly stopped.

"Do you have condoms?" He questioned, his lips pursing in thought.

You shook your head. "No. Why would I have them?" Realization slowly began to dawn on you. "You didn't for-"

"Fuck," Mingyu groaned while running his palms over his face. "I forgot."

Disappointment settled over you, but the lust you were feeling for him remained. You ran over various thoughts in your mind as you observed his conflicted expression.

Mingyu's arms dropped to his sides. "It's okay," he reassured. "We can do something else." He looked up at you, his previous lust-filled expression returning as he caressed your thighs. "Have you ever sat on anyone's face before?" He suggested.

The thought enticed you—the image of Mingyu between your thighs always made your stomach twist—but ultimately you knew you needed to feel him inside you.

"Just fuck me anyways." You blurted out. Mingyu's eyes nearly bulged out of his head.

"What?" He cried.

"I'm on the pill," you quickly explained. "You can just... pull out or whatever." Heat rushed to your cheeks; you had become so desperate for him.

You weren't sure what you were doing. Deep down, you knew it was a terrible idea, but you were being controlled by lust—the same lust and desire that made you tell him you wanted to kiss him a few nights ago.

Mingyu's lips were still parted in shock as he scanned your face. "Really?" He didn't see a single hint of hesitation on your visage.

"If that's what you want..." he trailed off. You saw a look of desire return to his eyes as he observed your bare body. Finally, he pushed his pants down his hips and leaned over you again.

His forearms rested on either side of your head, trapping you beneath him as he slipped his tongue into your mouth once again.

He reached down and grabbed hold of his hardened cock, guiding it through the folds of your pussy. Your jaw hung open and a deep moan escaped your throat at the pleasure. "You're gonna be the death of me, I swear." Mingyu mumbled into your ear in response to your moans.

He coated himself in your arousal as he continued to rub his cock against you, his tip nudging your clit and teasing you with the smallest bit of relief. He buried his face in your neck as he finally pushed himself into you.

A loud moan fell from his lips at the feeling. This was so much different from last time. It felt warm and soft and bare. Every sensation felt amplified; the stimulation was so intense.

"Holy shit," you gasped. You felt it too.

Mingyu's hips stuttered as he bottomed out inside you. "You feel so fucking good," he groaned. His words mixed with his hot breath against your throat made your entire body burn up. Mingyu slowly pulled himself out of you, and your back arched as his cock rubbed against your walls before he pushed into you again roughly.

Your chest rose and fell quickly with each short breath you took while Mingyu set his pace of his hips slapping against yours. Your back was still arched, and your hips lifted up uncontrollably to meet his.

"F-fuck," you whined. Your arms tried to spread apart, but they were restricted by the belt again. There was a dull ache in your wrists, but it only added to the pleasurable mix of sensations you were feeling right now.

His hands were squeezing your waist tight, to the point where you thought there might be marks there later. He thrusted into you quickly, desperately trying to reach his high. You opened your eyes to watch his euphoric expression: his head was tilted back, his lips parted, and eyes fluttered shut.

He let out a particularly loud moan and his eyes met yours. A small smile found its way to his lips before his eyes grazed down until they reached your chest. He watched the way your breasts bounced with each movement, and the sight nearly made his eyes roll back into his head.

"You gonna come?" He choked out as he saw the pleasure on your face. You moaned in response, unable to speak. He leaned over you and wrapped his hand around your throat. He stopped for a moment, before roughly pushing into you, his hips slapping against yours.

Finally, he brought his hand down to your clit, rubbing it in tight circles as he continued to thrust into you. The knot in your stomach burned and tightened. You clenched around him, which caused him to choke out a moan.

The pressure in your stomach reached its breaking point. Your body was washed over with a feeling of euphoria as your thighs shook uncontrollably. You could barely hear yourself when you let out a loud cry.

Your moans, the euphoric look on your face, and the feeling of you clenching around him all led to the snap of pleasure in Mingyu's core. He gasped as he struggled to pull himself out of you. "Fuck, I'm coming."

Hot ropes of cum painted across your stomach. Mingyu's chest rose and fell with his pants and moans as he watched the substance cover your body.

"Fuck," he whispered in awe once his orgasm faded away and he admired the mess he left on you.

Just as you were trying to catch your breath and relax your arms, they were stopped by the belt again. "Are you gonna take this off me now?" You asked.

Mingyu chuckled. "I guess so." He finally undid the loop and threw the belt to the floor. You sighed in relief. Mingyu quickly noticed the red marks on your wrists and caressed the irritated skin. "Oh, no. You could've told me it was hurting you." He frowned.

"No, it's fine. I-I liked it." You admitted sheepishly. Luckily, your cheeks were still red from before, so it hid the embarrassed flush of your skin. It was true, though. You never did these types of things before, and you certainly never thought pleasure and pain could go together, but you now that you had experienced it, you were enjoying it all too much.

Mingyu shook his head in disbelief, a smile spreading across his lips as he stared at you. You leaned forward, pressing your lips to his softly.

After a moment, Mingyu pushed you back slightly. "You, uh, probably don't wanna get that on your bed." He pointed to the cum on your stomach. You glanced down. You had almost forgotten it was there.

"Yeah, you're probably right." You laughed. Mingyu reached over for a tissue to wipe it off. The two of you cleaned up, and soon you were lying next to him on the bed again, with him back in his sweats and you with an oversized shirt on.

You faced each other, but your head was curled up against his chest, listening to the quiet sound of his heart beating beneath his ribs.

"You don't seem sad this time." He said. His chest vibrated beneath you as he spoke. You pulled away to look at him with your brows furrowed.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. All the other times we've done this you just seem sad after. But this time you don't." He noted.

You shrugged. "You seem different too. More cocky, I guess."

Mingyu pushed you playfully. "Shut up," he snickered.

"No, seriously!" You exclaimed with a laugh. "You were so awkward like a week ago and then today you pulled that stupid stunt in class!" You playfully smacked him back in the chest.

"Okay, yeah. You're right." Mingyu smiled, and then he sighed. "I guess I'm just... getting used to this."

The two of you sat in silence for a moment, both thinking of the same thing.

Mingyu rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. "Which I really shouldn't be," he continued. You chewed on your lip as you pondered what to say.

"I'm breaking up with him."

Saying it out loud made realization hit you like a ton of bricks. But you weren't upset anymore. You would miss all those trips to the coffee shop and weekends in bed from over the past two years, but they had already come to an end the moment you packed up and moved away. At this point, he had become someone you used to know—someone you were holding on to when maybe you should have let go a long time ago.

Mingyu was quiet for a moment. "Wow," he finally spoke. "That's probably for the best. You didn't seem happy."

"Yeah..." you trailed off. An awkward silence started to settle, so you cleared your throat and quickly changed subjects. "So, I haven't heard much about this frat you're in."

Mingyu chuckled softly, turning towards you again. "What do you wanna know?" His hands idly reached for yours, fidgeting with and rubbing circles on the back of your hand.

You thought for a second. "Hmm, I guess... who are the other guys besides you, Cheol, Seungkwan, Seokmin, and bathroom guy?"

Mingyu let out a loud laugh. "Oh, God. Bathroom guy is Soonyoung. I swear, he's the smartest yet stupidest person you'll ever meet." He paused, his face contorted in thought. "Then there's Josh..."

You slowly stirred awake, scrunching your face once you realized the light was still on and about to blind you the second you opened your eyes. You peeked open an eye, glancing around your room for the clock. It was almost 4 AM. You sighed, groggily trying to sit up and recollect what you were doing before you fell asleep, but an arm was weighing you down.

You glanced over your shoulder, and were taken back in surprise for a second when you saw Mingyu lying next to you. The two of you must have dozed off at some point without realizing, and now he was pressed up against you from behind with his arm draped over your waist. He was sleeping deeply, with his lips slightly parted and cheeks puffed out.

You peeled his arm off you slowly, careful not to wake him as you slipped out of bed and into the bathroom. You observed yourself in the fluorescent lighting. Thankfully, your hair wasn't too messy, but your makeup was still on and smudged around your eyes. Something about it almost made you feel hungover.

You spent a few minutes cleaning yourself up before staring at your reflection. If it wasn't already awkward enough that you and Mingyu accidentally fell asleep together, now he would see you bare-faced and groggy with sleep when he woke up. Sure, you two had sex a couple times, but somehow sleeping together was a thousand times more intimate.

You tiptoed out of the bathroom, slowly shutting the door so it didn't make any noise. You lay back down in bed stiffly, pressing yourself right against the edge to avoid Mingyu's grasp.

Just as you finished turning off the light and settling back into bed, Mingyu's arm reached forward and rested across your waist again.

"What time is it?" He muttered, his voice raspy with sleep. You jumped at the sudden noise.

"Oh, um, it's 4:02." You answered.

Mingyu pushed himself up onto his forearm and rubbed his eyes. "Like, in the morning?" He asked. You told him yes and his eyes widened. "Woah, sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep." He yawned.

He fully sat up now, running his hands through his messy hair. He turned to you, just barely able to see you in the dark. "I can go, if you want."

Oh, God. Even though this situation was an awkward mess, there was no way you could make him go home now.

"I'm not kicking you out in the middle of the night. What kind of terrible person do you think I am?" You responded, to which Mingyu laughed under his breath. "It's only a few more hours."

"Okay," Mingyu said as he lay on his back again. He rolled onto his side, his back towards you. You sat in silence before Mingyu added, "Thanks for not kicking me out."

You chuckled quietly, allowing your eyes to flutter shut and waiting for sleep to overtake you again.

The next time you woke up, sunlight shone in your eyes. With your eyes squinted shut, you rolled over, expecting to bump into Mingyu, but were greeted with empty sheets instead.

Your eyes shot open as you felt around the bed and realized that Mingyu was nowhere to be found. You couldn't help feeling disappointed. Even though you were dreading having to face him in the morning, the fact that he left without saying a word stung.

Suddenly, the bathroom door swung open. "Oh, you're awake," a low voice called. Mingyu stood in the doorway, still shirtless and his hair a little tousled.

You smiled. "I thought you left."

"Nope, still here," he replied. He sat on the edge of the bed and gazed at you. His dark eyes looked like they held a certain warmth in them. "I've never seen someone look so nice after waking up," he said.

Your face burned up instantly. "Stop," you cried sheepishly, burying your face in your hands. You didn't even want to imagine what you looked like right now.

Mingyu grabbed your wrists and pulled them away from your face. "No, really!" He exclaimed while you wrestled back with him. "Your hair isn't even messy and your skin looks so clear," he said in between laughs.

"What are you trying to do, Mingyu?" You cried.

"Just take the compliment and say thanks!" He responded.

You stopped fighting back, letting him hold your wrists while you stared at him with a pout. "Fine," you grumbled. "Thank you."

A satisfied grin settled across his lips, and suddenly you noticed how close he was to you. "You're welcome," he said, his face only a few inches from yours.

You watched as his eyes dragged down to your lips and your breath nearly caught in your throat. He inched forward until his lips met yours. The kiss was soft and slow, until he pushed you back against the bed and pinned your wrists by the side of your head. He slipped his tongue past your lips and you moaned quietly against his mouth.

"You know what I said last night about you sitting on my face?" Mingyu pulled away to say, staring down at you with a mischievous glint in his eye.

You felt arousal growing between your legs as you nodded rapidly. Mingyu let go of your wrists to lie on his back instead. Your hands trembled a bit as you reached to pull your underwear down your thighs.

"Your phone keeps going off," Mingyu said.

"Huh?" You didn't even hear it because you were too focused on the knot you felt in your stomach. You recollected yourself and shook your head. "Just ignore it. It's probably Jisoo or something."

"Hurry up," he teased, lightly smacking your thigh. You were straddling his waist.

"I am! I'm just nervous." You replied, trying to ignore the heat that was rushing to your cheeks. "I don't wanna accidentally kill you."

Mingyu rolled his eyes. "Oh, shush. I wouldn't wanna die any other way." You hovered above his face, hesitating each time you tried to lower yourself. Finally, Mingyu grabbed onto your thighs and pulled you down. You instantly moaned at the feeling of his warm tongue flicking against your clit.

"H-holy shit," you moaned breathlessly. He held onto your thighs tightly, not allowing you to move. Your legs began to twitch at the stimulation and your hips rocked involuntarily.

Mingyu pulled away, and you thought for a second that he was trying to tease you before he groaned: "Oh, my god. Who keeps calling you?" He shoved his hand under your pillow and pulled out your phone, squinting at the screen as he read.

"Who's Wonwoo?"

Your heart dropped right into the pit of your stomach. It felt like someone had punched you in the gut and you were unable to catch your breath.

"Are you kidding?" You cried. Mingyu had never seen your eyes so wide before. He turned the phone around to show you. Sure enough, Wonwoo's name was on the screen.

"Is that your boyfrie-" he started, but you interrupted by jerking the phone out of his hand.

"Don't say anything," you ordered. You hit answer and brought the phone up to your ear with a shaky hand.

"Hey," you said, trying to conceal the quiver in your voice.

"Hey," Wonwoo replied. Hearing his voice again made your throat tighten.

"I'm on campus. Can we please talk?"

[dvddggs]

To the Four of Us (Part Twenty One)

premise: modern AU chronicling the squad as they make their way through college and deal with general life things. soundtrack song: You and Me - Lifehouse full soundtrack: x words: 2,825 warnings: swears  a/n: i lov u all so here’s a nice happy fluffy christmas chapter :-)

all chapters: x

tags: @heythereitsloey​ @anitheunicorn​ @newyorkyoucanbeanew​ @lafbagxette​ @justafangirlwithanavy​ @iamgrayfox​ @ordinaryornate​ @schuylerjoon​ @angelica-peggy-eliza​ @trashyperson101​ @crazydragon15​ @but-if-you-had-to-choose​ @geespilots​ @marvelous-hamilfan​ @5p00kygh05t @panda-powers​ @and-maria @lafeyettegunsandships​ @schokoobananaa​ @allthegoodurlshavebeentaken​ @aphboi @hell-yes-puns-and-ships​ @aham-threw-his-shot-away​ @hesitantcat​ @nonstopspook​ @hamrevolution​ @writethewayout​ @passmethegoddamnball​ @allthegoodurlshavebeentaken​ @sun-tree​ @angelizaandpeggy​ @isis278​ @idk-destiel @engulfedinstars​

dedication: @l0vedoesntdiscriminate for the soundtrack rec and also everyone who sent me a kind message when i posted my lil coming out thing earlier tonight, u all made me V happy!!!!! :-))

“ALEX! JOHN! Santa came last night!”

John awoke with a start when Alexander’s bedroom door slammed open. When he registered that George had burst in grinning, he yanked the covers up to his chin and jumped away from Alexander, trying to hide the fact that neither of them were wearing a stitch of clothing. The pyjamas—a sweet gesture—had admittedly not served their purpose very long once they were in the comfort and privacy of Alexander's queen-sized bed with inviting flannel sheets.

Alexander, in comparison, was less than graceful at the sight of his father. His bare chest was exposed and at some point he’d kicked out one of his extremely pale, extremely bare legs, so it was displayed overtop of the covers.

“Dad, seriously?” Alexander sighed. George threw his hands in the air and backed out of the room in exasperation.

“Sorry! Sorry! Not like I’m shocked or anything, though…seriously. I mean, at least y’all aren’t in a goddamn hospital this time,” he muttered, closing the door behind him.

“Nice start to the day,” said John, amused now that his boyfriend’s father wasn’t looking at him naked.

“Sorry,” Alexander laughed. “He means well, I swear…hey—merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Lex.”

They dressed quickly and went downstairs to find George pouring out three mugs of coffee. John knew that the gesture was small; George probably didn't even give it a second thought. But still, he felt himself wanting to cry when he saw the third mug sitting on the counter. It was innocent, lifeless, unimportant. But it was his mug. It looked old and didn’t match with the other two; it was obviously rarely used. But today, it was his. And that was so important to him.

John stayed quiet while they all drank their coffee, rubbing the sleep out of their eyes as they sat around the kitchen table. He found himself subconsciously trying to stay small and as non-intrusive as possible—it was, after all, George and Alexander's Christmas. He didn't want to make anything feel different or out of place for them.

"Do y'all wanna open gifts?" George smiled, standing up and putting his empty coffee mug in the sink.

"Be right back!” John replied, standing up quickly and hopping into Alexander's room.

He opened his suitcase and pulled out a plastic shopping bag which read, "Thanks for visiting!" on it. Before John had boarded the train in South Carolina, he'd rushed into the gift shop and picked up a touristy bottle opener and a six-pack of beer, thinking vaguely of Alexander and George.

Descending the stairs, he saw his hosts waiting for him, curious smiles planted on their faces. Suddenly, John felt very nervous to hand them his cheap and pathetic token of gratitude. Somehow, the two people standing at the bottom of the stairs had become two of the only people that John could rely on. And his repayment was cheap beer and a plastic turtle-shaped bottle opener that said “Myrtle Beach” on it. If that wasn’t indicative of John’s hopelessness, he didn’t know what was.

“I—uh—got you this,” he mumbled, shoving the beer bottles in George’s surprised hands. Tossing Alexander the bottle opener, John shrugged and looked at the floor. “I’m sorry it’s not much…it was kinda short notice, ya know?”

Alexander grinned and turned the turtle over in his hands. “This is so cute. Look, Dad! I’m gonna call him Laurens.”

John raised an eyebrow in befuddled amusement—Alexander looked genuinely pleased with the shitty gift. He turned to George, who was reading the label on the back of one of the bottles.

“Thank you, John,” he said seriously. “I got wine for tonight, but I totally forgot to get beer. This is perfect.”

John bit his lip and locked eyes with George, who gave him a small smile and a nod. There was a lot of understanding in that militant nod—like he was reassuring a troop after a rough night that it had all been worth it. A job well done.

Spinning around, George padded over to the tree and picked up a stocking to hand to John, as well as passing Alexander his.

“Well,” he said. “Get opening! We don’t have all day! Knowing Aaorn, he could be here any minute.”

Alexander laughed—his father had a point. He and John sat down on the couch while George popped in a Christmas CD, lit the fireplace, and sat down across from them. John was grinning like a fool—he could feel his cheeks aching, but he couldn’t stop. He’d never opened a stocking before, but he always been excited by the concept—a giant sock filled with necessities like razors, deodorant, and pens—every college kid’s dream.

He all but tore it open, earning bemused glances from Alexander each time he gasped excitedly at something he pulled out. How Alexander’s father had managed to put an entire stocking together for him, he had no idea, but he was eternally grateful nonetheless. When he reached the bottom, he pulled out a forest green fleece pullover that had been ungracefully rolled into a messy ball.

“Alex told me you constantly reject the idea of buying a sweater,” George chuckled.

“He does!” Alexander piped up. “Says he refuses to succumb to the cold, or something like that.”

John beamed, imagining Alexander FaceTiming George and talking fondly about his idiotic warmth complex.

“If I buy a sweater,” John began, “then the cold has beaten me. I think this is a good compromise, though. Thank you!”

George laughed as Alexander kissed him on the cheek. John unrolled the sweater-ball and pulled it on over top of the old t-shirt he’d been wearing. He would have taken his shirt off and swapped the articles of clothing, but the last thing he wanted was the “you’re-both-way-too-comfortable-with-shirtless-John-so-obviously-you’re-fucking” look from Alexander’s dad. So he opted for bunchy layers.

“There are a couple more things for Alex to open, John—I’m sorry, I didn’t—”

John cut George off before he could even begin to think about what he was about to say.

“Please, don’t feel bad! This is your family Christmas. I’m perfectly content to watch y’all open up your gifts and pet my new sweater. Seriously, you’ve already done more than enough—Mr. Washington…Sir.”

“Ew,” Alexander exclaimed. “Don’t call my dad ‘sir!’ It’s just George. Or Papa George…or Dad. Right, Dad?”

George chuckled, crossing the room to hand Alexander a small package (which turned out to be a badly-wrapped pair of jeans).

“Call me whatever you want, John. I stopped being called ‘sir’ years ago.”

“Sir…” Alexander scoffed, holding up the jeans to test out the length against his legs.

“Fine,” John crooned to Alex when George got up to check on the breakfast. “I’ll just stick to calling you ‘sir’ in bed. How’s that?”

Alexander’s eyes grew wide as he sat back down. John smirked—he knew exactly why his boyfriend was holding the jeans tightly in his lap instead of adding them to his little gift pile.

“I heard that,” George muttered wearily over his shoulder.

John hid his very-red, very-warm face in his hands as Alexander doubled over, cackling.

It was a good morning.

George’s prediction had been almost right—Aaron showed up less than two hours later with the promise that his family would be there by three.

“Sorry I’m late,” he’d announced when George answered the door. No matter how many times they’d told Aaron that he didn’t have to knock, he insisted. They gave up years ago.

When he got there, Alexander and John were intertwined on the carpet in front of the fireplace, huddled around their phones. They were deep in the throes of their group chat, giggling at a message they’d just received. Aaron smiled and sat down to talk to George, leaving Alexander to live in his little John bubble awhile longer.

“How is he today?” Aaron murmured, glancing at John. “He was a mess the other night. I mean, a mess. He didn’t speak once.”

George nodded absently, watching his son and his boyfriend as they snorted at something on the screen. “He seems totally fine…which kinda worries me. I barely even know what happened.”

“I don’t even think John barely knows what happened,” Aaron replied.

“Dad,” Alexander called. “What time is it in France right now?”

“Around six, I think,” George called, counting forward in his head. “Why?”

“We might Skype with Laf later. Didn’t wanna call if he’s eating dinner.”

“Oh, please,” John scoffed. “He’s probably on his seventh glass of wine by now, eating cheese dipped in cheese fondue. There’s no way he’s eating dinner yet. He once told me that he doesn’t eat dinner till ten o’clock at night.”

Alexander laughed and rolled his eyes, sending a message to their friends.

Alex: Laf, John thinks you’re eating cheese dipped in cheese fondue

…

Laf: He’s only half-wrong.

Lafayette sent a selfie of him holding a piece of cheese in between two fingers, a glass of red wine balanced dangerously in the same hand.

Herc: god, I miss you…

John: THAT’S DISGUSTING, STOPPPP

Laf: Oh, shut your cheese-hole, John. At least you and Alex get to hang out on Christmas. I’m ACROSS THE GODDAMN SEA. My poor Herc, I will see you soon, my love

Alexander sent the barfing emoji then clicked his phone off and stood up to say hello to Aaron.

“So who’s all coming tonight?” John asked, eyeing the enormous turkey that George was preparing for the oven.

George, Alexander, and Aaron exchanged a bemused glance, then all burst out laughing.

“Everyone,” Alexander said.

He wasn’t wrong. By four, the modest house was full to bursting with people. John lost Alexander in the sea of people numerous times, but found him hiding from Charles in the bathroom more than once.

“He’s exhausting,” Alexander said dramatically.

“I mean…he’s not that bad,” John replied slowly.

Alexander and Aaron glared at him as if he’d just drowned each of their firstborns.

“He is that bad,” Aaron said. “He makes me wanna sleep for ten years.”

“Lex?” came a voice from the hallway.

“Charles,” Alexander and Aaron snarled at the same time.

Luckily, it was fairly easy to avoid Charles and other uncomfortable situations, such as the questions about who John was and where the hell he came from, because it was just so busy in the house. Every once in awhile George would ask for Alexander’s help with dinner, and it would telephone through the crowd until he got the message. He pulled John through the people—stopped for hugs and kisses and “how’s school!”s on the way—and breathed a sigh of relief when he stepped into the roomy kitchen.

“Can you mash the potatoes?” George asked, wiping off the sweat that was beading on his forehead as he opened the oven to check the turkey. “About twenty more minutes.”

John pulled out his phone, which had just vibrated, and read the message which lit the screen.

Laf: still want to facetime? My family is gone. It’s midnight here.

John: Give me two minutes.

“Lex, while you do this is it alright if I go FaceTime with Laf for a few minutes before dinner? You can come get me when it’s ready…it’s just that I don’t really know anyone…”

“Yeah, of course! Tell him I said hi.”

John took off for Alexander’s room, keeping his head down until he got upstairs where it was mercifully quiet and he could hear himself thinking. As he passed down the hallway, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror.

He looked tired. The bags under his eyes were so dark that they looked like bruises, and his bun had scraggly hairs sticking out at every angle. His jeans had a rip in one knee, but they’d been the only ones he could find when he rushed to leave his house the other day…

The other day. When John thought about it, he had no idea how he was holding himself up on his own two feet, because surely he should have been unable to move. He should have been paralyzed with worry and fear and anxiety. But he was fine. Was he? And if so, how? What was it that was holding him together?

As he scanned his reflection, the pullover that he still wore brought him back to the present. That’s what was holding him together. The sweater, the house, the stocking, the dinner, everything. All of this. He was a shattered piece of pottery, held together by Alexander, who taped him and patched him up until he was alright again. Not better, but alright.

John’s thoughts were interrupted by his ringtone, which told him that Laf was calling.

“Hey,” John smiled, watching his best friend tug his hair out of its ponytail. It poofed out in all directions, which made John laugh.

“MERRY CHRISTMAS,” Laf yelled excitedly. “Are you having a good day? Hey—are you wearing a sweater?”

John told Laf about his Christmas morning, including the sweater, and then listened to Laf’s Christmas adventures (which concluded with a crate of empty wine bottles). He was still a bit buzzed from what John could tell.

“I’m happy you’re with Alex,” Lafayette said with a small smile. “I hated the thought of you home alone with that—that asshole you call a father. I hate to ask, mon ami, and ruin your mood, but what are you going to do? I mean—are you going to be able to come back to school?”

John hadn’t thought about that—his father had broken multiple ribs, his brother was surely headed back home, and his father would obviously be facing countless dollars worth of charges, if not a lawsuit from the family of the poor girl who was killed. And that was before they even began to think about hospital bills.

“Oh my god,” John whispered. “What the fuck am I going to do?”

He felt his heart rate quicken significantly as he watched Laf’s eyes widen frantically through the screen. “John, I didn’t mean to—I’m sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. Shit. Are you okay? Don’t worry about that right now, I—Alex? Alex! Help your boy!”

Alexander had gone upstairs just in time to hear Laf say those fateful words to John, so he burst into the room to save the day. He took John’s phone from his now-shaking hands and sat him down on the bed, shooting Lafayette a glare through the phone screen.

“John,” Alexander said firmly. “John. It’s okay. It’s okay. None of this is your fault and you’re not going to have to deal with it, okay? If you don’t want this to be your problem, it doesn’t have to be your problem. Got it? If you want to be, you’re free.”

John took a deep breath and looked into Alexander’s wide, caring eyes. He nodded, feeling a bit more calm.

“Sorry,” Lafayette began before Alexander cut him off.

“I thought we had today, Laf?”

“Well, heh, it’s technically December 26th for me…”

His voice faded into silence at Alexander’s glare.

“Enjoy your dinner,” he said quickly before hitting the end button and disconnecting the video call.

Alexander couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle at their friend. He was an absolute whirlwind sometimes. He looked over at John, who seemed to be studying a particular fluff that was stuck to his leg.

“Everything is going to work out,” Alexander said softly. “Dinner’s ready, by the way. Everyone’s waiting for us.”

John nodded, standing up. He was determined to enjoy the rest of his day. Alexander did have a point, too—none of this was his fault. He didn’t ask for his father to be an asshole. He didn’t ask to be literally driven out of his home on Christmas. He didn’t ask for any of this.

They linked their fingers together and turned Alexander’s light off as they left the room. When they got to the top of the stairs, Alexander stopped walking. Before John could ask why, he spun him around and kissed him hard. John melted when their lips touched…he laser-focused on that moment and shoved all other thoughts to the side. Alexander smiled when he broke the contact, but he couldn’t hide the look of mild pain in his eyes.

“Did that hurt your jaw, Lex?” John asked, referring to the still-healing fracture.

Alexander nodded.

“Well, then why did you do it?”

“You looked like you needed it,” Alexander shrugged.

So, yeah, he didn't ask for his shitty life. Most of all, though, he didn't ask for his boyfriend. Because Alexander Hamilton was more than John could have ever dared to hope for.