#(coming from someone who does have some sort of neurodivergence but doesnt know which one yet)

[eomer]

Rating parks I go to cause my life is too boring right now apparently and there's a million around me I've never been to in the 20 years I've lived here. Not using the real names of the parks so I'll refer to them by their most notable feature. I'm not a parks and recreation expert I just rate based on vibes.

Red Flower Park

Environment: It's...fine. Very plain with a few scattered trees but at the amount I consider appropriate (I live in one of the most arid states in the USA we don't need more trees we're fine.) Good balance of coniferous and deciduous. Docking points for non-native trees. Saw some american robins (turdus migratorius) and rock doves (columba Iivia) but not much else, probably cause I wasn't looking too hard.

Structure: Again, very plain. No amenities like a children's playground and the like. Just a sidewalk that moves around it.

Activity potential: Again, no playground. Not a lot of space for sports. I suppose this is just meant to be a park for walking in. I suppose one could play catch with a ball or frisbee here but with the way it's built you'd have to do so on the long end of it, and perhaps share the space with multiple people which, is sort of cramped in my opinion. Playing throwing games is a little problematic here because of my next point-

Surroundings: Busy main street to the north side across the white fence, affluent neighborhood everywhere else that's also a HOA, which we are docking points for, cause HOA's are stupid. It IS cozy but a gleeful child or teen who doesn't know their own strength yet could easily knock a window out if they decide to play a throwing game near one of the houses. Or risk throwing the ball/frisbee over the fences.

Experience: First time in this park ever. Was nice to take Soji on a walk around its little path but he found a half eaten bagel that i successfully managed to fish out of his mouth, but he wouldn't stop thinking about it. Something also bulls eyed right into my eye. Not sure if it was a bug or a petal. I prefer not to think about it.

Overall Rating: 4/10. Soji loved it at least.

[irkenheretic]

May we have more random tidbits about anx please?

we will have a summer wedding <3

OK RANDOM TIDBITS TIME:

there's a tallest who had one numb antenna because of a genetic condition. his solution was to use clear string and tie his numb antenna to his working one. it made the numb one look all floppy and if he stood under direct light you could fucking SEE the string glinting on it

there's an irken idol who does music and the empire is VERY divided over wether shes a legitimate propagandist or a satire artist (she's a satire artist)

there's a gamedev who makes a very popular series of hacked levels for a rhythm game. everyone knows who he is or at least the series he made. what many people DONT know about is his other work. its like if you heard that the dude that made asdfmovie also made parasite or everywhere at the end of time or smth- wait no i can do you one better. if you know the fuckin, "my spoon is too big" youtube video, go google that guy's OTHER works. now come back. that feeling you just had? yeah. that.

that same guy got a game of his BANNED because it straight up gave people ptsd. oh did i say one game? i meant multiple games of his. who is this man someone stop him

red's a big fan of that guy's work. so is zim but not to the extent red is

most planets are powered with thermal energy that draws from the planet's core. outpost planets are too broke for this so they use solar. earth's dependence on fossil fuel is seen as very primitive, same w our solar panels that need to be replaced. solar in the empire is seen as "the shitty power source."

also, just because the empire developed lifetime solar, doesnt mean everyone has access to lifetime solar panels, and must settle for cheap replaceable panels that end up costing more money in the long run. mf boots theory of socioeconoic unfairness

there are thousands of irken dialects. in the old times, irkens had to fight to get all dialects inculded in the universal translator data banks, instead of JUST North Irken, which is the "standard." nowadays the main variants are all included (variants sometimes have microdialects- like an "outer ring dialect" sounds more or less the same depending on which planet you're on, but its still gonna be different on each planet)

irkens are considered "mature" at 60 cycles, or 6 human years. this is a holdover from back when irkens used to die very very quickly, and is not indicative of their actual development stages. this age should be raised to 120 cycles to better reflect development. (back in the pre-pak days, irkens DIED at that age!)

irkens are the third-most hybridized species in the known universe. they're very biologically malleable but they're in third because theyre not very willing to hybridize. but irkens can hybridize with anything, its a fascinating quirk of their biology

there is a stereotype that irkens are a hivemind. they hate it.

theres a joke that irken genetics are awful, since irkens have a lot of genetic disorders in their gene pool (something like 90% of irkens have some sort of genetic disorder, although only about 26% of irkens have an instance so severe that the PAK can't fully contain it.) irkens HATE this joke, as their genetics were used as a reason to oppress and kill them in the old days. theyre.... sensitive about eugenics wrt irkens. w other species, either all of the species goes or none of it goes. irkens are very strict about Not Doing Eugenics and being picky-choosy over what traits are good and what traits arent. genocide is ok tho but its complicated. most planets arent given an organic sweet, blorch was an outlier

defectiveness is a PAK-only issue, but the label of "heretic" can be used by non-defects, mainly neurodivergent non-defects who find themselves fitting in better with defect culture. some defects are purists about the term though, saying only "true defectives" can use it, but theyre a minority

[forlornithologist]

feelings journal :3c

that post about accepting that some people cant love you, like very literally some people are not able to and that theres no point in trying to become a person worth their love because no such person exists........very cool! been thinking about it ever since my mother visited me on my birthday, inflicted 36 hours of psychological torment on me, and left..

ive kind of blandly accepted that shes a narcissist, probably neurodivergent, with boatloads of trauma and every flavor of internalized hatred you can develop. but it was like shorthand for me. “yeah, shes a narcissist who was born sixty years ago, shes been through some shit, doesnt think she needs any sort of medicine or therapy, and thats why shes an asshole and treats other people like shit.” but lately its been like. i see the mark of the beast in everything she says and does bro. 

when she gets home from work she tells anecdotes. every single one stars her as the hyperrational, hypercompetent, kind, funny, cool employee. every single one features coworkers and bosses as on the back foot in some way--theyre never as considerate as she is, always lazier, always in awe. she does voices--everyone else is snotty or vacant. when she has dialogue in the story, its calm and pleasant.

when the guy her widowed sister was dating died, my mother told me over the phone by mocking her sisters crying voice, making her sound dopey and hysterical. how fucking evil is that. i would never talk that way about my brother, and we arent even as close as they are.

when i was a kid, i told her only once that i didnt like the way she talked about my brother. that i didnt like hearing her mocking him and complaining about him constantly. that not only was it disrespectful and unkind to him, but it made me feel insecure. she about bit my head off and never stopped slagging him off.

and finally, most recently, she berated me for five minutes straight in public, spouting pure insanity that can only come with decades of conditioning her husband to accept that behavior and breaking her childrens will. and when we got to the car, i started crying as i was driving, which upset her. and she started getting tearful saying she would never mean to hurt me. not an hour after hurting me. again. every time i get visibly upset its the same thing: youre overreacting, youre too sensitive, and it was never my intention to hurt you; it hurts me to see you in pain. like......get a fucking clue. those crocodile tears mean nothing. you sound like a psychopath who starts crying to get sympathy and get out of trouble. you should feel bad. and i know that deep down you dont. thats whats  jokerfies me. its like talking to someone who only understands human emotions in theory. or someone who doesnt think anyone else is real.

she doesnt have the capacity to love me, a human being, and nothing i do can change that. not because im beyond saving, but because she is.

now i just gotta like..........actually believe that.