#(i didn't want to wreck it all. every day I think about the truth.) (s.jesse) ( huckleberrytm)

[koeii]

What is a soulmate? Is it someone that holds you tight in the early dawn? Is it a person you share every secret you have had that has kept you awake every night. Is it a person you call home or are they your home?  They told me not to make homes of people, but I didn't listen and found a home in two of them.

letters never sent, stories never told, c.m.f 

@huckleberrytm @adversitybloomed

[koeii]

❝ are you still awake? ❞

it’s from my memes 

it's the sound of Jesse's voice that gives him light to the horrid dreams he's been suffering through. His mind is still heavy with the weight of Genji. He’s not sure even if he had cried out his brother’s name in his sleep. His mind is riddled with the images of blood, a corpse and that guilt that begins to rip into his soul again. The dragons under his skin cause something fierce to ache inside him and he digs at his skin-   Calloused fingers try to shelter him.  Try to soothe the wound that haunts him in his sleep, he digs at Jesse, scratching at the skin,  like a child. He’s raw and torn open from a dream so vivid: from a dream that has him shaking and aching and falling apart. He doesn’t even look like a Shimada if he looked in the mirror. he’s falling apart. he’s nothing but a monster- a-      “Hanzo” Jesse’s voice is frantic. Hanzo can vaguely feel his fingers digging into his own skin: feel how he breaks apart. Hanzo breathes, his lungs feel like they’re drowning, he feels like he’s suffocating. Panic attack, panic. That would be the right set of words if someone saw how he was right now.        Shimadas dont-             His fingers slam into Jesse’s frame. It’s violent, and it hurts, or should hurt but it barely does anything, it’s weak, because somewhere down the lies Hanzo is crying. He’s shaking, he’s a torn up mess because there is so much layered regret seeping from his bones. He chokes on a breath, and beats his hands into Jesse’s chest, aching and shaking and trying not to choke on his own breath.               “I’ve got you.”        He’s small, and lost to the world, when Jesse cradles him like a defenseless child, who doesn’t know how to do anything but run.      Shimada’s aren’t weak but he’s screaming now,                                                   for anything that will catch him from the fall. 

[koeii]

embrace

 some  one  word  prompts .   (    send   one   of   the   words   for   our   muses   to   interact   based   off   that   word   )

It has taken decades to find this point that he lies upon. Somewhere long ago he lost himself in the wake over things that were considered honorable. He had left before the season of the blossoms had even begun. He remembers the day that he left, how he never turned back after he had chosen to leave what had mattered behind. The guilt of Genji’s death had weighed upon him like a God speaking to him.            It had plagued him for years afterwards. And finding that Genji had survived had only erased him slightly. It had still been a burden that he carried no matter where he went. And it hasn’t changed over the years, no, he’s learned to just bury it further, the emotions, what he carried. He used to venture here to plead for forgiveness from a brother no longer with him. The journey now is not about that.         It’s a reclaim of the mind. A reclaim of the body, what remains of the family: the elders that are here know better. They know better to challenge him, despite the lack of honor, the dishonor, Hanzo holds his head higher, he holds it because this home, the one he grew up in is no longer defining him. The place were his family resided is still a place he is able to slip inside. Hanzo avoids the other areas, not wanting the contact of some of the other clan members, the most they could do is have him leave. They don’t need to know that he is back, but that’s another area eniterly, not the one he and Jesse are in.         Speaking of that, the cowboy is not with him at the given standpoint. He had left to do something, he doesn’t mind it. He settles in the courtyard that is exposed. He sits under what is a blooming sakura blossom tree. Hanzo has settled into a meditation when Jesse had gone, the slight trickles of the wind causing his hair to flutter slightly. But he mostly had fallen into a meditation to clear his head, and how ironic that he kneels in the same place he had been years ago before Genji and he fought.                  If the tremble is there, Hanzo says nothing towards himself for it. He ignores the fact and remains with his eyes closed but- arms wrap around his lower torso as a frame slides behind him, he doesn’t hear Jesse’s bag or what he carries but the cowboy tucks him close to him.  His head coming to rest on his shoulder, he can smell the desert on him despite how many years it’s been, and he breathes out. one two three- "You’re trembling.----’’ he doesn’t hear the rest of Jesse’s words, they get lost in a muted feeling. Hanzo closes his eyes sinking into the touch more than anything. He doesn’t know when he started to shake- doesn’t know when he started to dwell on the past. How he slips more and more away from who he used to be- how he hurts and how it all slips out now.  Hanzo breathes, and Jesse only steadies him and tucks him close.               and it’s enough for now, having the cowboy there in presence, his head tucked into Hanzo’s shoulder.  ‘Thank you.’  It’s muted and soft, and when the wind moves, there’s a scattering of blossoms into them,  pink petals floating to them. fragile, and only around for a few weeks.                        for while he does not speak, just merely listens to the other’s heartbeat.

[koeii]

The dragons shift beneath the skin, a rumble like an echo of thunder. There’s a static like an electric shock that echoes from his skin, from his bones, from his soul and mind alike. It is such a small touch that sparks something that was unforeseen by either of them. The way that the archer reacts, fingers reaching towards the flesh more. A desire that is caught beneath the surface: that has been etched for years.  He had taken so long to reason, and now here he stands with Mcree---            Jesse, his mind corrects. he asked you to call him Jesse. Hanzo stands there aching and hot all over fleshed under his skin and bones, pale cheeks dusted with a pink tint, nothing about this screams a stoic archer that says nothing. he opens his mouth to speak then closes it at a loss of words, as Jesse, bends down and kisses him again, warm and soft.                            And it feels like coming home.                                                                         for @huckleberrytm xoxo.

[koeii]

character tag drops