#(in this case s3 alec attempting to appreciate his time with daisy

[detective-inspector-hardy]

When did you lose that endless joy that comes with childhood? Mine died at 6. How the bloody hell do you cope without the demons trying to tear you apart every waking moment? I've been losing sleep over it for years. 22 years of it. I feel like a failure....I'm sorry...

You're only 22? Nobody knows how to live at 22. That's not a failing on your part. Try not to be so caught up on the idea of childhood and the past. You're still a kid. Just keep living it.

I've learnt there's little use in dwelling, as tempting as it is. As easy it is to fall into.

There's this pit - this wee pit of rotting and self-pity. It's constantly pulling you in. It's strong, and it's hard to resist. We all fall into it sometimes. Some more than others. Maybe this is similar to the "demons". However you want to put it.

We've all got this pit. We've all been in it, we're always fighting against it - but that's life. There's always something we long for, something we don't have anymore. But sometimes you just have to push on. There's no use crawling into that pit. There's nothing at the bottom. The good things, the things you'll eventually miss, are all above the surface.

If they never happen to begin with, there's nothing to miss. Try not to waste your time worrying about something lost when you're, really, still in the middle of it.

You're still a kid. Try to live it. I wish I had lived it.

Don't be sorry. You're not a failure. Everybody has these "demons". Sometimes it's just about learning to appreciate the things you've got - the time you do have, rather than the time you don't. I learnt that when I became a parent. Properly, for the second time - when my daughter came to live with me.

- needless to say, I was much older than you when I realised it. You're still a kid. You're going to be confused. That's not a failing on your part. Not at all.