#(it also helps that the main characters are basically just humans and catgirls

[king0fcrows]

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[thebigbrightsun]

MIYA POSTING

IT WOULDN’T LET ME TYPE ENOUGH TO REALLY SAY ANYTHING I WANTED TO IN THE FUCKIN. COMMENTS?? so i am just gonna make a post and tag mr. @yymiya​ who asked. So. INFO ON MY OCS!! specifically Miya because she is my baby and i’ve been drawing her for a year now

so these two are Miya (left) and river (right). Their pronouns are she/purr and they/he respectively. i made Miya last year in english because i was bored and remembered a conversation i had with a friend (who wears hijab)(i do not) which was basically just how would a catgirl wear a hijab? they would obviously just wrap their ears because it seems like kind of a hassle to cut out ear holes in every scarf you own and most hijabis cover their ears anyway, but if they had a tail would they wrap it? if catgirls were common enough would there be specially made clothes for them so they could cover their tail in a sleeve or something? we decided that its up to the person (like most things) but it’s probably not that common.. Anyway Miya doesn’t even have a tail in the main universe HAHA but it was an important question to answer i felt

i made River much later, in about april of this year? i thought Miya needed a skater boy friend (not boyfriend, as she is a lesbian🫶) so i made them also during class. to be honest i don’t have much of a story for either of them but they were really fun to draw messing around on my papers, i’m sure my teachers were sick of them lmao

if i were to make them into a comic of some sorts, i’d probably make their stories short and funny, while exploring themes of youth and growing up and finding your place in society as a minority/someone seen as ‘weird’. as an autistic queer poc, i didn’t really get much representation growing up, and i think seeing someone who acts and looks like me, who leads a life similarly to me, could have saved me from a lot of self-hatred when I was younger and didn’t know why I was different. a huge reason i still make art to this day is to help people who feel and look like me feel a bit better in their identities, because i know the representation i have seen, even if its few and far between, has touched me in ways i can’t even begin to explain. it means so much more than you’d think. 

Anyway. the fantasy au kinda just came about one day when i was in a mood and felt like making fantasy character designs and stuff. i don’t have much of a storyline for this one either but i have a very vague idea on what it’s gonna be about, and i’m gonna develop the story as it is gonna be a big part of my Inquiry Question for Ap art this year👍👍👍

SO. these are their original fantasy au designs. i was actually pretty happy with miya’s first design, but for overall silhouette and posing issues i had to change her skirt, but i thought it looked stupid so i thought i should just rework her clothes altogether. 

i’m gonna keep showing people this sheet because i am ridiculously proud of it. anyway. Even when i first started drawing Miya, way before i even thought of the fantasy Au, I had some specific design choices mind. I always wanted her to have catlike eyes, so i tried to imitate the shape of them while keeping them pretty human looking. the silhouette of her hijab is kinda exaggerated and not very realistic just so i could properly communicate the fact that she is supposed to be a cat. 

in her original design, she’s supposed to be much closer to a human, with the only distinguishable traits to set her apart being her ears, her eyes, and maybe her hands. i wanted to put most of the “cat-coding” in things like the hoodie she wears, which has a tail, or the fact she paints paws onto her converse, or gives her self a dan-and-phil-style nose and whiskers (AHAHAKAHDHFKBS NOT A WORD). i also wanted her to be younger, about 15-16 in the modern universe, but that’s a difference I only made relatively recently, which you can see in the two pictures above.

with the fantasy AU, i wanted her to be honestly closer to an anthro than human. I didn’t want her to BE a furry, necessarily (no hate to furries, i am the number one furry enthusiast), but i wanted her to have much more animal-like traits. She’s very inspired by Tabaxies but i didn’t want the fantasy au to be in the 5e universe because i have several problems with racist stereotypes in DND.. anyway, miya is almost completely covered in a light layer of fur, has paw pads on her feet, almost has a muzzle, has a cat shaped nose, ears, a tail, and retractable claws. the only things keeping her from being a furry, at least in my mind, is that she has human hair and isn’t digigrade, and has much more human-like proportions, like the ratio of ear to head, head to body, torso to leg and so on. 

i’ve put a lot of work and love into her design! while i can’t say everything has a concrete reason, almost every detail on her is intentional, one way or another. like, how she doesn’t have paw pads on her hands but does on her feet because she’s bipedal, and cats have paw pads to muffle the sound of their footsteps when stalking, for prey or otherwise. she also doesn’t need shoes because of her paw pads, but if it gets a little cold she might wrap something around her feet. shoes are very uncomfortable for her. (can you tell i’ve been dying to tell someone about that in particular i think its so clever) 

other little details are, i made her headpiece mostly to bring more gold up by her face. it helps balance out the colors i think. the green in her eyes is inspired by my cat! and i don’t think cats can have brown eyes, but it was mostly bc i didn’t want to just give her green eyes (bc brown ppl with light eyes kinda freak me out cough cougb my sister cougb cough). the circles with smaller dots around them on her sampin songket are suppose to vaugely look like paws. i was gonna actually make them paws but that felt a bit on the nose. 

i think thats all i have to say for now… i will talk more abt river when i finish their character page. there’s nothing really wrong with their current design, other than the fact that it’s kinda really boring, so i’m working on adding more character and interest! here’s the sketches i did in my sketchbook, i’m currently working on tracing n coloring them digitally 

here they are!! also i said earlier that in the modern au miya is supposed to be younger but i never said how old she’s supposed to be in the fantasy au and i cant find a smooth transition to talk about that so i will say that here. She’s supposed to be like 18-19 in the fantasy au, i just think it would make more sense for what they’re supposed to be doing throughout the story (exploration, fighting, potential mortal danger, i think its a bit much for high schoolers is all). river is slightly younger but still around the same age as miya, so same thing for him too. they look really young in the sketches above bc my art style was doing something funky that day lmao

that is all!! finally!! for now at least. (if u saw me post this way earlier than i meant to No You Didn’t.) 

[time-to-write-and-suffer]

I wouldn't mind that post on VNs!

So I was gonna write three different lists, but then after writing the first part I realized this is very long and takes a while to write and nobody cares anyway so I’ll just post my recommended list only. Well, I mean, you asked, but I doubt you wanted all this lol. Thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about this stuff, though. Hope you enjoy my ramblings!

An explanation for what this list is: Sometimes I know a game isn't perfect in many aspects but I still had a genuinely good time playing it, hence why I'm recommending it. Also I should mention that I could talk for hours about some of these games so if anyone’s curious about more of my thoughts, let me know.

Alright, now that that's out of the way ...

How to Take Off Your Mask / How to Fool a Liar King / How to Sing to Open Your Heart (f/m): This is a trilogy of smaller, single-RO games where you can take one of two routes depending on how you act, and they’re all interconnected where you get to meet and interact with the previous games’ characters in the sequel games. I went into this expecting very little but what I got blew me away with how funny, charming and cute the games were. They don’t take themselves too seriously, at one point an angsty male character monologues deeply about some shit, and another one just slides into frame and starts mocking him. It was so fucking funny, holy shit. Also, a central theme is literally racism against catgirls? Which is monumentally stupid, and probably the games’ main flaw, especially in the final game where it pairs up a catgirl with a catgirl racist, but that one still ends with a literal bisexual queen literally making a man her malewife because she fell in love with his cooking, so like ... It speaks for itself. My favorite game of the three is the second one, where you get to play a punchy fake catgirl and romance a pink-haired prince. And honestly, all the female protags in these games are lovely and a breath of fresh air, and the male characters are fun and not abusive assholes either. There’s full Japanese voice acting, and two out of three female protags are literal catgirls who pepper in “nya” and “mya” into their dialogue, and it’s just treated as a quirk of their catgirl race. I AM NOT KIDDING. Yet somehow it never comes off as cringe, because it doesn’t take it self too seriously. These games are just cozy. That’s the only way I can describe them. Cozy and hilarious. Play them yesterday. Dream Daddy (m/m): Man tumblr did this game dirty. This is just a cute, wholesome daddy dating simulator with gorgeous art. Coming out on Top (m/m): So you know Dream Daddy? What if it was EXTREMELY, MAJORLY NSFW? Though I realize how bad the comparison really is, the only thing these games have in common is that they’re gay dating sims and don’t have an anime art style and oh, yeah, they’re both really well-written. Or at least, extremely funny. COOT (heh) is DDADDS’ horny older cousin, and I first encountered the game on a lesbian letsplayer’s YouTube channel. Yes I watched a lesbian play a gay porn game and it was GOOD. I was there for the cringe and fun and got surprised by how genuinely funny and sometimes actually touching the game was. I can’t give it my universal endorsement because it’s not a game for everyone, as I said, it’s extremely NSFW and the menu theme literally includes the singers screaming “SEX SEX” at the top of their lungs. There’s more to this game than the porn, but there’s just so much porn. It can be censored in the settings but it’s unavoidable. However, I still think it’s worth a look just because of how funny it is and how charming the characters are. If you don’t want to play it yourself, at least watch Anima’s playthrough of it. It hasn’t aged super well in some spots but I still go back to it every now and then. Akash: Path of the Five (f/m): This game markets itself as a more “professionally produced” western dating sim, and that’s accurate in some superficial aspects. The game is pretty poorly written, but it’s absolutely gorgeous and has really good English voice acting by actual professional voice actors. The premise is quite self-indulgent, but I genuinely respect that about it. You play as the only female elemental in a village with only men, and all five of your classmates want a piece of you. It’s clear the writers have put some thought into the lore and worldbuilding of this world, but barely any of it comes through in the actual writing and plot, which is basically just a vehicle for you to get together with your boy of choice. The ROs aren’t very well-developed either, and the plot is the same in every route with only minor variations depending on which guy you pick, up to the point where the protag has the same voice lines in some parts regardless of which guy she’s talking about. It also has one extra half-route that’s so bad and pointless I genuinely wonder why they wasted resources on making it instead of spending a bit more on the writing/adding some variations to the main plot. So why am I recommending this game? Well, it’s pretty, and it sounds nice. This game is a himbo, gorgeous but dumb as rocks. Enjoy it for what it is. I know I did. Get it when it’s on sale, I think if I hadn’t gotten it at half-price I would’ve felt a bit more cranky about it. Also Rocco is bae. Mystic Destinies: Serendipity of Aeons (f/m): Yes that’s the full title, no I don’t know what it means either. You may have noticed how most of the games so far I’ve enjoyed because they don’t take themselves too seriously? Well, this one does. It takes itself SO FUCKING SERIOUSLY. Like, way too seriously. It’s a little embarrassing at points because baby, you’re an urban fantasy dating sim. Calm down. But the game has gorgeous art and 3 out of 5 routes are very good. The last route, the one with your teacher, is both the most problematic yet somehow the one that breaks down the very concept of a dating sim within its own narrative (yes, this shit gets fucking META) and it got so wild at the end that 1) I still listen to the soundtrack for that route and 2) I still remember it to this day despite finishing it ages ago. My favorite route is Shou, he’s a sweetheart, but the mindfuck route is so buckwild that I think the game is worth playing just for that. There’s also a route that’s like a neo-noir mystery? I Do Not Know. This game is many, many things and it does them so sincerely and tries so hard, you can’t help but respect it. It doesn’t always stick the landing but man, just let this thing take your hand and wax poetic at you for a bit. Also get this one at a sale because it’s very expensive to get the full version. I got it for 9 bucks on itch.io and I felt that was a fair enough price, I’d say I wouldn’t have minded paying more for it because there’s a lot of content to enjoy and/or be baffled by. Arcade Spirits: This one’s a bit more weird from what I recall, and I honestly couldn’t tell you much about it, but I remember having a very good time with it and recommending it to a friend when she was going through some tough times and she said it made her feel better. I remember it making me feel better, as well. This is a VN about an arcade and the ROs are wonderfully diverse, with very real human conflicts that get explored in each of their routes. It can get quite existential and heavy at times, but in the end it’s a kindhearted game that I think everyone can enjoy. The main character was also, how you say, mood. It’s a game about getting possessed by a video game and then learning self-love. Ebon Light (f/m): This one’s free/name your own price on itch.io so go play it. It’s a weird plot where you play as a girl who ate an elven relic? And then the elves kidnap you because you’re the relic now. All the ROs are extremely pasty (like, literally white, as in literally the color white) dark-haired elves, except for one, who’s an extremely pasty blond elf, so ... diversity? I honestly don’t know what this game is aside from unique. I used to be a bit put off by the art style but now I think it contributes to the general atmosphere. It’s a weird game that technically doesn’t do anything groundbreaking but still left an impression of “huh. weird” in my mind and I think more people should play it. The ROs are all pretty generic dating sim archetypes but done well, with bonus points to Duliae who’s just a massive creep and I love him, and also Vadeyn who’s the only bitch in this house I respect. The worldbuilding is honestly a bit buckwild and I can’t give enough credit for how unique the elves’ culture is in this game. Definitely give it a go. Hakuoki: Kyoto Winds / Hakuoki: Edo Blossoms (f/m): These two are newer releases of an older Japanese visual novel. I wouldn’t call it a dating sim, it’s ... it’s more of a super depressing historical fantasy epic with some minor romance aspects awkwardly wedged in. It’s seriously some of the heaviest and most grimdark shit I’ve ever played in a VN/otome. I don’t understand why it’s a dating sim, it doesn’t read like one, it’s just historical fantasy based on real world events with characters based on real people, and they kill and they die and they grieve and they suffer. The games are literally about the downfall of the Shinsengumi, there’s no way of avoiding everything going to shit and you get to watch and be in the middle of it all as they struggle to stay alive and relevant in a world that doesn’t need them anymore. And there’s the protag in the middle of it all, being useless and submissive and bland just the way the usual otome protag is. I don’t think these games are necessarily fun, and the romance is certainly a lot more downplayed and deeply problematic just based on the age differences alone with some of the men, but the sheer amount of horror and sadness in these games make them stand out above its peers. It’s like watching a war movie. Since most of the characters are based on real people, they feel like real people instead of the usual otome archetypes, and they are so, SO flawed, it’s interesting to just watch them deal with the shit the world throws at them. It’s an Experience, and if you’re up for it, I think it’s worth the time. Cinderella Phenomenon (f/m): This game is free on Steam so go get it. You play as a really, genuinely shitty princess who gets cursed to be poor and forgotten and she has to help one of the ROs break his fairy tale curse so that she can learn about being a good person herself and return to her normal life. This game doesn’t look like much, but it has a genuinely well-written main character who’s actually at the center of each of the stories and in the overarching plot instead of just being around to make eyes at the real protagonists, aka the love interests. Aside from the main character, my favorite part of this game’s writing is how each route slowly but very smoothly expands upon the overarching intrigue. If you play them in a certain order, you get more and more info revealed to you that you didn’t see in other routes, gaps are filled in as you find out more about what actually happened and why, but every route also stands on its own as a full experience and none is more canon than the rest. There’s also some really heavy emotional parental abuse explored, which I found quite potent at times. The romances themselves were alright, I think Karma and Waltz were my faves.

[jessiethewitchzard]

I have this theory that the reason My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic had such a weird fandom is because it accidentally convergently evolved into a bunch of surface level similarities to a slice of life harem and/or moe anime, for completely different reasons, and then it got a reputation on 4chan and spread from there.

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overlap 1a.) there’s a huge cast of female ponies with relatively few male ones. This is done to show little girls all the different equally valid ways to be a woman.

overlap 1b.) in harem anime, women vastly outnumber men because the point is to cram in as much sex appeal for straight men as possible.

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overlap 2a.) the ponies have ambiguous ages, and their maturity fluctuates based on the episode. This was done to allow the writers to tell all sorts of different stories, with either childish or more mature situations.

overlap 2b.) harem anime often have characters with ambiguous ages for entirely skeevier reasons, either hypersexualized teens or infantilized adults.

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overlap 3a.) MLP has lots of non-action focused plots, because they wanted to show non-violent conflict and teach kids other ways to solve problems and such.

overlap 3b.) slice of life harem anime revolves around, as they say ‘cute girls doing cute things’, just watching the characters go about their lives in charming ways.

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overlap 4a.) MLP has a main cast full of female characters that each have a broad personality archetype they fit into(nerd, fashionista, farmer, party girl, tomboy, doormat, etc)

overlap 4b.) harem anime often pull from a standard list of personality archetypes(tsundere, genki, yandere, kuudere, etc), leading to a similar situation where each character is strongly typecast so as little as their hair style can sometimes tell you what their personality is going to be.

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overlap 4a.) the ponies are, well, ponies, and not humans, so they occasionally do animal stuff like eating hay or neighing. They also sometimes need more creative solutions for tasks a human would find trivial, like opening a door. 

overlap 4b.) the Moe subgenre heavily features small, childish and incompetent characters that need help with basic things so that even an unremarkable viewer feels like they could actually contribute to the character’s life in some way if they were in a relationship. Non-human characters(catgirls, robots, elves, etc) are also common, but idk if that’s relevant.

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And then, there’s all the standard stuff, like, any well made kid’s show will attract a few adult fans, and MLP:FiM is quite well made, and it’s just cute and heartwarming and all that.

[angstmongertina]

A Non-comprehensive List of Characters Available For Smooching

SWTOR:

Estelle (Shan, technically for my A New Dawn AU but w/e): Jedi Knight with a pretty lax definition of what it means to follow the Jedi Code. Strives in general to be a morally upright Jedi but is definitely happy to kick back and relax on the weekends and/or go out for drinks and a party. Looks serious but has a silly sense of humor.

Lynei Halori: Jedi Consular with a heart of gold. Sweet and pretty quiet, will be happy to just curl up and spend time with you. Keeps in touch with her brother after he reaches out to her because they were pretty close as kids before she was taken. As such, has a pretty “no attachments are silly” approach to the Jedi and just wants to do some good in the galaxy.

Callione Sidelli: Your typical flirty smuggler. Will smooch/hang out with/sleep with anyone for a good time. Typically assumes it’s gonna be no strings attached but if you open up to her, she tends to fall fast and hard, but recovers quickly as well.

Zel’essiss: Chiss Imperial Agent who is kind of done with the entire galaxy’s shit after that whole debacle. Rather withdrawn and will probably need a fair amount of time before opening up to you. A bit prickly and tends to shut down before letting anyone in.

Thallia Zeh: Sith Inquisitor with everything that means, including fascination with lightning and utter nerdness. Open and surprisingly cheerful for a Sith, snark for days, and good luck trying to get her to truly open up to you. It’ll look like she’s telling you all about herself but nope.

Jessarya: Twi’lek Sith Inquisitor who is actually quite serious, for a change. She doesn’t talk about her past. Don’t ask. Rather prone to stalking away and outbursts of rage when her buttons are pushed a little too much.

Ael’ethann Ran: Togruta Jedi Consular with an iffy attachment to the Force. He strives to be a model Jedi, but falls for people easily and, much to his slight embarrassment, wears his heart on his sleeve. The worst poker face you will ever meet. Can be convinced into doing something ridiculous without too much effort, especially since he can’t hold his liquor for shit.

Reynae: A Sith pureblood JK who was sent to the Order because her parents thought she’d never survive the Sith trials. As such, very bitter towards the Jedi and what they stand for, but also has a very tumultuous connection to the Sith. Happy to flaunt the Jedi Code and the Republic at large, but due to her past, is much more “for herself” than “for the Empire.”

AU versions of any of my other OCs are totally open, but please let me know if you’re interested in any of them! :)

Any and all of my kidlets (aka kids of my ships) -- Etienne Quinn, Caelus Shan, Elanor Shan, Tomas Shan, Faryn Harshaw, Mirabelle Harshaw

I swear I had more non-humans on the list but I think I deleted a lot of them after the server merge because I never played them.

On the off-chance you want non-SWTOR characters...

FFXIV:

Ondarya Mitnu: Arcanist catgirl and general nerd. Spends most of her free time reading and deep in aetheric research. Quiet unless you get her talking about her work or any other subjects she’s super passionate about.

X’vett Mitnu: Ondarya’s older brother and a total flirt. Acts like he’s just looking for a fun time but actually really does want to fall in love and settle down, as horrible as he is at admitting it, even to himself. A bit of a jerk at times, especially when it comes to money, but his heart’s in the right place. (Archer/ranger/whatever that class is called.)

Hermance Beaudenoux: She’s beauty, she’s grace, she’ll punch you in the face (literally. She’s a pugilist). Darkwright Elezen (I think it’s called darkwright???). Has expert mastery of the bitchslap and will not hesitate to use it if she thinks you deserve it.

Eos Bell: Pretty peppy and with a major sweet tooth. Always happy among nature and helping others. Basically a Disney princess when it comes to animals. Hyun conjurer of some skill.

There are also others from other fandoms but I’m getting too lazy to write out more detailed descriptions. HMU if you’re interested. Also, you know, main OCs in any games are welcome for AU kisses.

[betweengenesisfrogs]

OFF THE CUFF HOMESTUCK THOUGHTS #3: THE SELF PILE DOESN’T STOP FROM GETTING TALLER OR: THE PROBLEM OF DEAD MARIOS

DISCLAIMER

IMPORTANT THEORETICAL FRAMEWORK

[CHECK THE TAG FOR MORE THOUGHTS]

So, a long-ass time ago, Rose and Dave had a conversation like this:

TT: After you go, what do you think will happen to me? TT: Will I just cease to exist? TG: i dont know TG: i mean your whole timeline will TG: maybe TT: Maybe? TT: Is there a chance it'll continue to exist, and I'll just be here alone forever? TT: I'm not sure which outcome is more unsettling. TG: the thing with time travel is TG: you cant overthink it TG: just roll with it and see what happens TG: and above all try not to do anything retarded TT: What do you think I should do? TG: try going to sleep TG: our dream selves kind of operate outside the normal time continuum i think TG: so if part of you from this timelines going to persist thats probably the way to make it happen TT: Ok. TG: and hey you might even be able to help your past dream self wake up sooner without all that fuss you went through TT: I think the true purpose of this game is to see how many qualifiers we can get to precede the word "self" and still understand what we're talking about.

This is the most important sentence in Homestuck.

I am dead serious.

Well, OK, I mean, it’s pretty important for understanding some major Homestuck themes and shit or something like that.

Also, I totally should have said: Pre-Retcon Doomed Timeline Non-Dreamself Rose but ultimately about to become Dreamself Rose who semi-merged with Pre-Retcon Alpha Timeline Rose and Doomed Timeline Dave aka Davesprite AKA future Davepetasprite^2 or as we all call them around the office, Davepeta, had that conversation.

Maybe you begin to see what I’m going to talk about here.

One of the major frustrations a lot of people had with the retcon was that the characters we ended up with at the end weren’t the ones we’d come to love and know throughout the story. Was it even worth it, to lose the characters we loved to the tyranny of Game Over? The victorious kids, with the exception of John and Roxy, were other people, with other histories, other goals, and other choices.

Allow me to submit that that may be the whole point.

SBURB is cruel. We’ve known that for a long time. It’s cruel not as Caliborn is cruel, but as the cosmos is cruel, as a supernova is cruel. It wants what it wants, and doesn’t care about how that intersects with the needs of humanity. It wants to make universes through a complex game-playing method, and drags hapless, vulnerable adolescents along for the ride. And most of the time it doesn’t even succeed, leaving its champions to rot in a doomed timeline or similar! Skaia’s victory is an amoral creation myth where individual human beings are just the carved pieces on the chessboard. (I mean, the other ones. Not the carapacians.)

Again, let’s consider the theme of VIDEO GAMES vs. REAL LIFE.

Homestuck, let’s be real, is basically some postmodern horror timey-wimey Jumanji. For a generation way more familiar with pixels than cute little tokens It’s easy for teenagers and in fact, basically everyone, to fantasize about escaping their life and slipping into some game world forever, where they get to do awesome things and be a heroic person.

Homestuck makes that literal. Congratulations, everything you ever knew is dead. You will never see it again, except your internet friends, who turn out also to be your family and other important people. I mean, from a distance, SBURB sounds like an awesome game, right? You figure out who you are and get to wear a cool costume displaying that identity. You get to make anything you want and enjoy this hyperflexible mythology tailored to YOUR CHOICES. HS fans talk all the time about how cool it would be to play a real version of SBURB. That’s a big part of the appeal of SBURB fan adventures. They put you and your friends in the story. Or your favorite characters! It sounds like a fantasy come true.

The thing is, as fantastical as it is, it’s also really fucked up, and ultimately you and your friends are being used. By a giant frog to let it have its babies. By the universe. By a smug blue cloud thing that doesn’t care about you at all.

SBURB does not care about you at all.

The funny thing, SBURB features a mythology with so many layers and nuances and seemingly human motifs about growth and self that you might search for some grand ultimate meaning behind it, but it’s not even human enough to have a personality, to be something you can argue with or fight. It just is. It’s all the cruelty and power of a god without any of the dazzling personality. It’s empty. It just wants to make universes all day long, or fail trying. It is a great, weird tadpole-making machine that eats children.

One of the big ways it doesn’t care about you is its attitude toward the self. Humans and trolls and whatnot prefer not to be relentlessly duplicated. SBURB says, oh yeah, let’s make tons of copies of the player characters and use them for a lot of different purposes.

There’s the dreamself, an essential bifurcation of identity (you are now and were always the dream moon princex) that sometimes gets merged into god tier but sometimes doesn’t. There’s doomed timeline selves, who exist ultimately to augment an Alpha timeline whose Alphaness is decided very arbitrarily and frequently by Lord English. There’s the you who exists before a scratched session and the you who exists afterward, who are two different people but started as one baby in an act of ectobaby meteor duplication, your player self and your guardian self. Dead timeline yous fill up the dreambubbles made by the horrorterrors and get endlessly confused with each other. Any one of these could be the you experience being at any given moment, and which one it is entirely arbitrary. Don’t like being Dead Nepeta #47? Tough hoofbeast leavings, kiddo.

To top it all off, in Terezi: Remember, we learn that every single time we thought someone changed from one self to another, was resurrected or something like that, it was another act of duplication. For every time someone’s died, there’s another version of them waiting in the Dream Bubbles, surprised that they’re not the main character anymore. And we have no way of knowing which is which. Even John, good old everyman John, may or may not be the person who died three or four times. It’s really impossible to say whether we’ve been following the same person throughout our story, or just the illusion of the same person, like a horrifying cosmic flipbook.

The retcon is a return to this same theme. Ultimately, there’s very little new in the changes John makes to reality except that they drive the point home.

John’s friends all died. John and his friends won the game. These things are both true at the same time, except those things may not have happened to the same people. There was a happy ending. Hooray! For, um, some folks who may or may not be the ones we care about. In fact, it’s very confusing, because from Rose’s perspective, Roxy is dead but came back to life, and from Roxy’s perspective Rose is dead but came back to life, except also she came back to life as a weird tentacle catgirl of pure id and self –indulgence. So there’s that. Um. Which Rose are we rooting for again?

Or wait: is it none of them, because the first Rose died in a doomed timeline, hundreds of panels and a number of years ago?

There’s a tension here which one experiences between saying it’s okay because it’s still the same people, and saying it’s not okay, because it’s not the same people at all. This tension is exactly what we’re meant to wrestle with. To put it another way, Homestuck asks if identity can work in aggregate. Are all Johns John, all Roses Rose, and do they all share in what they accomplish? Or are the final victors only accidents created by the whims and needs of the frog baby machine?

What I’m saying, basically, is that the retcon, in the sense that it pointed out our confused relationship with these characters, was already here.

In interviews and questions put to him over the years, Hussie constantly compares HS and SBURB to other video games, particularly Mario, which he frequently returns to as a baseline of comparison that most of his readers will know. One answer, from a recent Hiveswap interview, is particularly revelatory. To the question of “Why do you kill off all your characters?” Hussie replies:

[…]HS is supposedly a story that is also a game. In games, the characters die all the time. How many times did you let Mario fall in the pit before he saved the princess? Who weeps for these Marios. In games your characters die, but you keep trying and trying and rebooting and resetting until finally they make it. When you play a game this process is all very impersonal. Once you finally win, when all is said and done those deaths didn’t “count”, only the linear path of the final victorious version of the character is considered “real”. Mario never actually died, did he? Except the omniscient player knows better. HS seems to combine all the meaningless deaths of a trial-and-error game journey with the way death is treated dramatically in other media, where unlike our oblivious Mario, the characters are aware and afraid of the many deaths they must experience before finally winning the game.

The big man hass the answer.

Homestuck is the story of those dead Marios.

Other works, like Undertale, have engaged with this topic as well. But one of the major differences between Undertale and Homestuck is that in Undertale, between “lives,” one’s consciousness is preserved. In Homestuck, it’s discontinuous, and the value of the overall trial-error process is called into question by the fact that you, the player, may not even get to experience the victory. What meaning does victory hold if that is the case?

So, to put it in a nice thesis format:

One of the central themes of Homestuck is the challenge of reconciling an arbitrary and destructive pattern of growth and victory with the death and suffering you experienced along the way. Homestuck asks: is victory worthwhile if you’re not you anymore? And would you be able to know?

What even is the self? Is there such a thing?

If you were left feeling somewhat disconcerted by our heroes’ tidy victory and departure to their cosmic prize, or by how which Rose gets the spotlight is so deeply, deeply arbitrary, there’s a good reason for that. You’re supposed to be.

The philosophical problem of Wacky Cat Rose is insignificant next to the bullshit of SBURB.

And don’t forget—John and Roxy’s denizens helped them achieve the retcon. Ultimately, the victory they achieved was mediated by the same amoral system of SBURB, and was a victory over an enemy, Caliborn, whose power was created, perpetuated, and ended by that same system.

Okay, so here’s where it gets contentious. There’s an argument to be made, which I’m not sure how I feel about, that some of the character development that could have been in post-retcon Act 6 was left out precisely to push this feeling and play up this tension. Note that this is not the same thing as saying that they were deliberately badly written, but that they’re deliberately written to make us uneasy.That Hussie deliberately played with the balance between making these retconned characters feel familiar and making them feel eerily different to leave us feeling uneasy with the result.

I’m not sure I like that idea. It smacks a little too much of that “everything is perfect” thinking that comes sometimes from the far Metastuck camp. Some of the differences may also be the result of flawed writing. (See: Jane and Jake’s character arcs, which I might talk about later.) And I want to be able to critique those flaws. Ultimately, I think we still needed more time and development to figure out who these new people were—even if our goal was ultimately to compare them to their earlier selves. And again, more conscious acknowledgement of the problem from our heroes—especially John, the linchpin in this last and biggest act of duplication—might have helped drive this theme home.

Still, I think the Problem of Dead Marios is one of the most fundamental questions of Homestuck, maybe THE biggest question. It’s essential to understand it to understand what Hussie’s doing—or attempting to do— in the retcon and the ending.

I don’t know that Homestuck offers us a clear answer to that question. There are some confusions around the issue, too. Where do merged selves fit in, exactly? Clearly they’re a big part of the discussion, because Hussie spends some time in Act 6, especially near the end bringing the identity-merging powers of the Sprites to the forefront. (See also: the identity-merged nightmare that is Lord English.)  Can we even come up with a clear answer to what it means when a dead Mario returns to life grotesquely fused with Toad? How does he beat the game? Does he tell himself that the princess is in another castle? Or what if he merges with Peach? Are they their own princess? How do they know if they’re in the right castle?

Um. Anyway—

Interestingly, it’s not all grotesque—spritesplosions suggest that personalities that are too different don’t stay together long, so a fusion might rely on some inherent compatibility between the two players. Erisol’s self-loathing, sure, but also Fefeta’s cheerfulness. Davepeta seems to be a way of bringing out the best in their players, a way of getting Davesprite past his angst and Nepeta past her fear. Honestly, I know a lot of people don’t like Davepeta as the ending of these two characters’ arcs, but I can’t help but love it. They’re the ultimate coolkid. Cool enough to know they don’t have to be cool. Regular Dave got there, too, of course. But was his retcon assist from John ultimately any different?

Then, of course, we come to Davepeta’s speech to Jade in one of the last few updates before Collide. Davepeta suggests that there is such a thing as an ultimate self beyond the many different selves one piles up throughout the cosmos. A set of principles that describes who you are that’s larger than any individual instance of you. Your inherent Mariohood. (Maybe this is comparable to your Classpect identity, which attempts to describe who you are?) Davepeta even tells Jade, strikingly, that one might learn to see beyond the barriers between selves. Be the ur-self, in practice, rather than theory. This would be incredible news for Jade, who wrestles with the issue of different selves perhaps more than any other character. (There’s a lot to say about Jade.)

Honestly, I wish this ur-self idea had been developed more, and I honestly expected it to be. It doesn’t fully come to fruition, I feel. (Same goes for Davepeta’s character. Ohhhh, ZING!) I’m not sure it entirely makes philosophical sense, especially with fusion—I mean, doesn’t Davepeta themself disprove it? Or at least complicate it? Like, are they part of the ur-Dave or the ur-Nepeta? They seem to imply they’re BOTH? Does that even work? Does that mean that Marieach is all the Peaches and Marios at once?

(In fact, Bowser/Peach/Mario are but the three manifestations of one eternal principle. Also, Bowser/Peach are the true power couple. Read my fanfiction plz.)

And what, say, of Dirk, who ultimately ends up rejecting aspects of his other selves? It feels like there’s a lot more you could say here, and I wonder if Hussie would have said more, if he’d had time. What’s weird is, none of our victorious kids never reach an ur-self (though to their descendants, they become archetypal to some degree), which one might have expected. They’re just individual selves who happened to get lucky. Does that make them representative of the whole? It feels like something’s missing here, or like something got dropped at the last minute.

Same goes for the idea of the Ultimate Riddle. You’d be forgiven for missing it, but there’s been this riddle in the background lore of SBURB that seems to have something to do with personal agency in this overwhelming, overarching system. Karkat called it predestination, saying something like “ANY HOPE YOU HAD OF DOING THINGS OTHERWISE WAS JUST A RUSE.” But others have interpreted it more positively. My favorite interpretation, from bladekindeyewear: the answer to the Riddle is that YOU shape the timeline through your existence, personality, and choices, even when it looks like it’s all predestination. Ultimately it’s your predestination, your set of events, based deeply on your nature, that you are creating. Someone like Caliborn can use his innate personality to achieve power; someone like John might be able to use it to achieve freedom.

I definitely expected something like that to be expressed more explicitly. Like, a big ah-ha moment that helps John or Jade or whoever understand how to escape Caliborn’s system. Something like that would have been very helpful for a lot of our heroes, actually, who’ve been pushed around by Skaia and SBURB together, in finding a cathartic ending.  Once again, I wonder if something was dropped or rushed because there wasn’t time to put it all in. There’s places where you can see hints of that Answer being implied, maybe? But it’s kind of ambiguous.

You can see how the Answer to the Ultimate Riddle ties into some of Davepeta’s ideas. If your personality, the rules of your behavior are a fundamental archetype that goes beyond each individual self, then the answer to whether it matters if one self of yours makes it through to victory is an emphatic YES. You are all of those people, and by winning one round with Skaia, you’ve won the whole game, despite all the arbitrary challenges and deaths it heaps upon you along the way.

This may strike some as too positive for Skaia’s brutality, or again, some way of excusing flaws in many characters’ arcs, or unfair things that happen to them. To be fair, I don’t know that Davepeta’s necessarily meant to be taken as authoritative or the voice of Hussie. They may simply be offering a purrspective.

Hussie not choosing to come right out and engage with the Ultimate Riddle leaves the question of Dead Marios and what they mean for the victorious versions of our cast very open. I like that in some ways—let the reader decide—but I can’t help but wish we had more to work with in making that decision. Plus, it might have brought the thematic messages of Homestuck all the way home to tie them more closely to our characters and their experiences—character development being one of the things most people found most lacking in the ending.

NEXT TIME: All that wacky gnostic stuff probably