#(she doesn't have friends and i think i made a deliverate choice to not have her interact with a lot of people asdfghj)

[allvalley]

i just think that nin.a should be cobra’s champion but realistically, i feel silv.er has her as a wild card. so he never puts her directly in anyone’s path.

[millionyearhearts]

SPOILERS!!!!!!!

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ok so i genuinely adored this season, most of it was so good and brilliant and i was in tears and i almost threw up like 3 times it definitely had a grip on me like nothing else and i'm glad i got to experience volume two. the writing, for the most part, was actually very good and i loved just how tense and beautiful and horrifically wrenching it was

with that being said...i *hate* what they did with will and mike and el. i fucking loathe it. it was the one downside to an otherwise awesome vol2 and unfortunately it ruined so much of the season for me i can't help but feel just...deep, coiling dismay whenever i think about it for too long

so:

-for mike's monologue, i think finn's performance was very good. he is an enchanting actor and his deliverance was so compelling. imo, love being the source of el's strength is so vital- a lot of people call it cheesy, but i personally think it is a brilliant choice, narratively, to satisfy her character arc. she was born with power. she was born with strength. she was born with resolve. however...she never knew real love, and we can see through the show that she grew stronger as she formed connections and attachments to other people. loving people- and having them love her all the same- gave her a reason to care. gave her a reason to fight. helped her understand her world better and establish her own identity, her own personhood, as these things were stripped away from her from the moment she first opened her eyes. to love and to be loved gave her the ability to exercise her own autonomy. after all, to love is to be human! and all her life, people treated her as though she wasn't human. they thought she was a machine, essentially. so having mike tell her he loves her and truly believes in her is actually a good idea, narratively speaking. she was at her lowest, but one of the most important people in her life reminded her that she was strong, and that she was loved, and all she had to do was fight this one more battle, and she would be loved no matter the outcome of said battle. he admitted to her unconditional love, and she needed that. she needed to remember that she was whole, and that her power comes from the love within her. not from hate or anger, like 001's.

BUT. BUT. there is a big, fat, rotund "but."

mike's inability to say he loved her should NOT have been an issue at all. that should not have been a plot point. he's proven time and time again that he loves her, and he's NEVER been unexpressive. he has never hesitated to tell his friends how he cares about them, he has never hesitated to yell and scream and try to fight the individuals who cause anyone he loves harm. mike has loved her from the start, right? he's loved her since he was 12 years old, and, yeah, he's a dumb teen boy in the 80s, but he's not *actually* stupid. he's brilliant, really, and has an acute sense of understanding of the people he loves and their emotions. it just...seems uncharacteristic for him to be unable to say "i love you" when he literally tried to beat up hopper 2 seasons prior for keeping the knowledge of the fact that she was alive away from him LMAO like, homeboy has never had chill, homeboy has always been warm and expressive and open. why did they muck it all up these last 2 seasons? where does this development come from? it'd be one thing if they'd touched on this at all, if, maybe, something happened in his family or he was having an identity crisis, but, FUCK, they need to show this stuff on-screen! his shift in character is so radical but so important to the plot and they just don't talk about it. "oh, well, this is just how he is now hehe, he can't even say i love u 😢😢" but like. why.

it feels underdeveloped and therefore made the build-up to this intense, overwhelming, emotional scene so much...less than all those things. his deliverance is wonderful, bc finn will always be an incredible actor, but the script...just doesn't work. the concept works, but...all they really needed to do was change the wording. not make it about HIM and his weird, undisclosed issue that doesn't make a lot of sense and betrays the dignity of his character. but make it about her. her, and how she's loved. how they all love her- not just him. bc it isn't just romance that saves her. it isn't romance, necessarily, that lends her strength.

"el, i need you to hear me on this, and i need you to understand. i love you. i love you, and i always have. and not a day goes by in which i don't think about you. you're one of my best friends, one of the most important people in my life. and it's not just me. will adores you- you're basically his sister, and he'd do anything for you. max is your best friend, and i know i was a jerk, but, damn, el, there's no one who makes her smile quite like you. johnathan here is scared outta his mind for you- you're his little sister and he needs you to be okay. lucas and dustin want to see you again more than anything. they want you to visit, they want you to call. of course they do. el, you're one of the most important people in all our lives. we *love* you. and we all believe in you! you can fly, you can move mountains, *we* truly believe that. and right now...we need you to keep fighting just a little more. i need you to. i know it's hard, and scary, and i don't even know if you can hear me, but...please...keep going, keep fighting, and no matter the outcome- if you win or lose, if you succeed or fail, you'll be loved regardless. you'll wake up and we'll be right here, because we love you, and all we've ever wanted is for you to be safe. just hold on a little longer. i love you. *we* love you. and nothing in this world will ever change that- powers or no powers, together or apart, you're apart of this party for life"

and that's cheesy as fuck, and obviously could use some edits, but...i feel like that'd be more in-character? to be able to say with ease that he loves her, but he isn't the only one: that she has multiple people who want her to be safe and who care for her and just believe in her!!

bc her strength can't come purely from romantic attachment. sure, that can be part of it, but...i feel like it's more satisfying for "love to be the saving factor" (fave trope, if you couldn't tell) to include more than one kind of love. because i would want el to remember her friends and her family ALONGSIDE her boyfriend, you know? that she's loved across the board, and she is stronger with it.

this leads to my next talking point, and why, while i did enjoy the concept of mike's monologue, i didn't enjoy the execution:

-will. so, will gives him the painting and basically admits that el (ahem, will) will always need mike, and that he is the heart of the party. that he keeps them together. that he's wonderful and perfect and all that heartbreaking, almost hopeless queer pining. that scene broke my heart. this poor boy expressed his deepest feelings, his most thorough fear, and mike just...obliviously nods along and smiles? now ofc that smile seemed a little bit...too tender...but that's not the point. no. he always knew when will was upset, he ALWAYS was able to pick up on when something is wrong. just a few days prior he knew will was in a bad mood at rink-o-mania despite paying like 0 attention to him 💀 that boy's empathy levels are actually rather high, and in one of the most...gut-wrenching, horrible scenes to endure (especially as a queer person), he just...loses that? for what, plot? as if mike wouldn't notice will sobbing into his hand? no. mike would. he would so fast, and he'd ask what was wrong, and he'd try to comfort will and find out what the problem was, because even if he didn't pick up on the fact that will was actually talking about himself and not el in his monologue, he would know that his best friend was hurting. and he wouldn't just let that slide.

and flash forward to the scene right before mike's monologue, will...*tells* him to be the heart of their party. to tell el what he feels. he pushes aside his own feelings, he suppresses it, and urges mike to confess his feelings, even though the comparison directly draws from a moment depicting a queer character's deepest and darkest turmoil...? like, it's almost as if the writers used will's homosexuality to try and push for "the het ship," and that's just...disgusting to me, honestly. yes, will is selfless. he is kind and brave and willing to endure the worst things for the people he loves. but for the writers to use his own monologue, his own confession, his own coming out scene, basically...and then using it to push mileven forward...like...yikes?? i kinda disliked that?? will's monologue was supposed to be...about him. even if he said el's name, it was meant to be about him. him and mike were supposed to have that moment, that understanding, that spark of mutuality and *sameness* and closeness without involving el, bc while el is one of my favorite characters...i'm tired of will's character and feelings being sidelined. he deserves to be acknowledged. he deserves to be seen. honestly, thank god for that scene with johnathan. as nice as it would've been to see an explicit, open coming out scene, where he tells johnathan that he's gay...i don't think it was the right time. i'm just glad johnathan saw him. truly saw him, and accepted him wholly, and loved him no matter what.

notice how i have a deep infatuation with unconditional love and the power it holds?? idk if you have yet lol

honestly, i'm just kinda sickened with what they did to will. sidelined him, made him the queer, hopeless, sad boy whose feelings were deemed less important than his het counterparts. i'm upset with what they did to mike. trashed his character, forgot who he is at his core, and made him seem so much worse and cruel than he actually is. i'm disenheartened by what they did to el. reinforced this idea that her savior is romantic love, disregarded the important roles other forms of love have made in her life, and neglected to acknowledge that love doesn't save her bc she's weak- it saves her because, in people caring about her, she was given autonomy. and in caring in return, she was able to understand both herself and others- and that she, for the first time, comprehends to her very core that she has people (including herself) to fight for. very sad.

AND IT WAS ONLY THESE FEW SCENES. THE REST OF VOL2 WAS SO GOOD AND WELL-PUT TOGETHER. IT WAS GENUINELY A MASTERPIECE (well idk about the johnathan/steve/nancy situation but that's a whole other can of worms) AND SO BEAUTIFUL AND ELICITED VERY VIBRANT EMOTIONS IN ME. I AM PLEASED- BUT WHY, OH WHY, DID THEY HAVE TO COMPLETELY S H A T T E R (not just ruin, but completely DECIMATE) THE HEART-TO-HEARTS?? SOME OF THE MOST IMPORTANT MOMENTS IN THE WHOLE SHOW!! THEY REVEAL TRUE MOTIVATIONS, THEY REVEAL TRUE THOUGHTS, THEY GIVE UPCOMING MATERIAL IN THE NEXT SEASON....

how could they just...vecna them like that??

the duffers lie just like papa. anywho i will be jumping out of a moving car

[winntir]

I want to post about one of my autistic characters this month and this turned out to be my only opportunity due to general laziness. Sorry! Yes, my Fallout 4 character is autistic; all of my RPG characters are autistic.

Name: Hazel Martinson

Nickname: Blue, Nuka-Girl

Age: 31 (241 post status)

Height: 5’9” (1.75m)

Weight: 142 lbs. (64 kg)

Specials: 6 ST, 5 PE, 6 EN, (+) 8 CH, 7 IN, 7 AG, 7 LK

Eyes: Hazel

Hair: Cool Brown, Unscrupulous

Body type: Ectomorphic

Status Pre-War: Legal Advisor (maternity reasons), Court Lawyer (out of practice)

Status Currently: Minuteman General, Brotherhood of Steel Paladin, Railroad Heavy

Relationship Status: Dating, formerly widowed

Spouse: Nate Adami (deceased)

Sexuality: Pansexual

Gender: Cisgender female

Ethnicity: Jewish-Irish-Danish

Family: Shaun Gianni Adami-Martinson (biological son, deceased), Shaun/S9-23 (adoptive son)

Languages: English, Yiddish, Latin

Disabilities/Illnesses/Injuries: Molerat Disease; former Strep throat

Allergies: Gluten, dairy

Scars: Three facial scars (one over left eye, one on the temple descending the cheek, one under her eye)

Physical traits: Angular facial features, prominent freckles, pointed nose

Voice: Low, gravely and sweet

Clothing: Minuteman General Uniform and tricorne hat, Minuteman outfit and militia hat, Agatha's Dress

Fashion Style/Lifestyle: Handyman, militia

Weapon of Choice: Focused Six-Shot Laser Musket, Deliverer, Electrified Chinese Officer's Sword

Skills: Marksmanship, Lockpicking, Hacking

Weaknesses: Brushes easily, radiation sponge

Poor skills: Swimming

Affiliations: Minutemen, Railroad

Former Affiliations: Nash & Hobbs Law firm (non-canon), Children of Atom

Enemies: Institute, Gunners; Raiders, Super Mutants, Trappers (Hostis humani generis)

Neutral Affiliations: Arcadia, Brotherhood of Steel, Far Harbor

Religion: Reform Judaic (non-practicing)

Likes: A challenge, A job well done, Nuka-Cola, A well cooked meal, Piper Wright, Cait, Jazz, Historical studies, Hobby work

Dislikes: Killing dogs, chems, alcohol, Nuka-Cola, dogmatic persons

Hates: Murder, bigotry, deception in social circumstances

Friends: Nick Valentine, Preston Garvey, Robert Joseph MacCready, John Hancock

Acquaintances: Glory, Deacon, Old Longfellow, Jack Spencer (deceased, OC), Strong, Curie

Former friends: DiMA

Enemies: High Confessor Tektus, X6-88 (deceased), Mayor McDonough synth (deceased), Conrad Kellogg (deceased), Arthur Maxson

Pets: Dogmeat

Fallout OC friends/family: Winston Nash (deceased, OC), Franklin Hobbs (deceased, OC), Joan Maynard (deceased, OC), Robert Martinson (father, deceased), Ruth Martinson (née Mandelbaum, mother, deceased), Ethel Blum (née Martinson, sister, deceased), Arther Blum (brother-in-law, deceased)

Personality: She's an inquisitive soul whose social anxieties go away if she can learn something from them. She doesn't think about the things she does, saving thought for when she has the time. She protects what people she's still close to from cruel fates. Friendship is optional when it comes to the people she knows.

Favorite color: Mauve

Favorite foods: Noodles, Omelette, Deathclaw steak, Mirelurk Queen steak, Grilled radroach,

Favorite drinks: Refreshing beverage, Vim, Ice cold Nuka-Cide, Dirty Wastelander

Favorite Sweets: Chocolate, Pudding

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Other info:

Hazel was a successful lawyer before the war. She was a well-liked member of the Nash & Hobbs Law Firm, which had liberal leanings throughout its lifetime. She was accused of being a communist multiple times in her career, and went up against obstacles most wouldn't be comfortable with, but didn't quit. She only took a break because she had a baby and want to spend a year off to take care of him, having the ability to work in an advisory capacity at that time.

Her relationship with Nuka-Cola has so much baggage. She doesn't really like the flavor or caffeine kick, but will drink Nuka-Cide when she needs a pick-me-up. During her career, she defended the company's copyright issues regarding Nuka-Quartz and Vim Quartz, which made her "Nuka-Girl" in the eyes of most who didn't know her personally.

An awkward part of her new life is finding love. See, she's attracted to both Cait and Piper, both physically and romantically. The options are choosing one or the other. Polyamory might no go over well with Piper. She's currently in a relationship with the reporter, but she's trying to broach the topic of adding to it.

The part of Hazel some are appreciative of while other despise are her chess master mentality. Everything is a game of wits to win, but that hasn't gone well. In her fight against the Institute, she was juggling everyone to get the best possible result, but made mistakes along the way. In her adventure into Fair Harbor, she tried to do what was necessary to minimize casualties while keeping the peace, but found little comfort in what she'd done. She tries to be clever, but that hasn't always paid off.