#(though I dont have any mutuals so I guess I kinda already am haha)

[dailynakaharachuuya]

(just some thoughts about things, I think its rather long so you don't have to read ❤️❤️)

[justdyingslowly]

1. Name justdyingslowly obviously come on

2. Nationality Australian

3. Age 22

4. Birthday nnnah dont feel like it

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign) Libra/Scorpio cusp

6. Gender wamon

7. Sexuality very very hetero

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself) androgenous

9. What do you/did you study? Psychology (focus on sexology) and art.

10. What’s your current job like?/What job would you like to have? I am disabled you think I can work ha sexologist would be awesome. When I was a kid I wanted to be a fireman but Australias always burning

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11. Your birth order head first

12. How many siblings do you have? 1

13. Do you have good relations with your family? yeah dads finally out of his abusive relationship, nearing age 70 and his emotions and his sexuality are finally opening up for the first time and that makes me SO happy.

14. How many friends do you have? what kind of fucked up question is this.

15. Your relationship status relationshipped. Fiance? got the marriage papers in a drawer somewhere with the car rego but can’t be fucked filling them?

16. What do you look for in a SO? empathetic, mature, calm. Always open to discussion. Prefers to be blunt rather than secretive. Emotional age over 14 (incredibly fucking rare apparently). Puts an importance on context and understanding other views above all else.

17. Do you have a crush? Hellll yeah Crush on my partner and got a crush on a mutual friend of ours who don’t even know hes cute af hehe one day partners gonna accidentally spill the beans and embarrass me coz hes shit with secrets RIP me.

18. When did you have your first kiss? You think I can remember this bullshit? Its not that big a deal

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands? One night stand sex almost exclusively sucks. Just. SUCKS. Because neither of you know what the other likes and it ends up being an awkward mix of trying to please yourself while trying to also be considerate.

20. What are your deal breakers? Plugging your ears to anything that feels gross, uncomfortable or disagrees with you. How can you grow as a person without introspection? How can you mold what you think and believe without taking in other arguments and comparing them to your beliefs to see how they stack up? Its pathetic.

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21. How was your day? cute mutual friend had a fall this morning and were both worried about him. His back is bad and he’s getting a little older, he can’t be getting dizzy and having falls like that. other than that im anxious about seeing my gastro. He’s lovely but... specialists are specialists. Good at knowing what they know but not always great at listening.

22. Favourite food & drink you think im allowed to eat or drink? water and... foods a touchy subject.

23. What position do you sleep in? Usually on my side with a body pillow to grip so I don’t end up choking my partner in his sleep.

24. What was your last dream about? uuhhh...going to italy and being unable to get into this tiny basket boat properly.

25. Your fears does PTSD to medical shit count haha

26. Your dreams ... going to italy and being unable to get into a tiny basket boat thingy?

27. Your goals - get some sort of diagnosis eventually. Its been 3 years of trying and im tired. - get back to studying art part time for my bachelors. - pass JLPT N3. - go back to university for psychology. - do the dishes when I get home.

28. Any pets? two budgies. we also take care of any orphaned or injured birds.

29. What are your hobbies? feeling nauseous drawing writing a little bit im making a little gameboy game in C atm too

30. Any cool places in your area? i live next to a national park with waterfalls and koalas and emus and stuff

31. What was your last awkward situation? mutual friend made a comment on his chest i playfully smacked it (related to the comment) it was surprisingly hard “O-oh wow, thats... I didnt expect that” my partner laughed at me. it was awful.

32. What is your last regret? getting embarrassed at friends pecs stop making me think about it 33. Language/s you can speak english. N4 Japanese.

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.) of course not what the fuck

35. Have any quirks? Quirkless. I do wiggle when im happy though apparently.

36. Your pet peeves open doors.

37. Ideal vacation spend a months chilling in an old japanese house in autumn hokkaido oooooof that sounds nice

38. Any scars? internal? yes

39. What does your last text message say? peepee poopoo ustinky

40. Last 5 things from your search history how do i find this

41. What’s your [device] background? Sam Porter Bridges walkin around Sam Porter Bridges cuddling BB-28 Louise while he sleeps my chicken

42. What do you daydream about? all might

43. Describe your dream home an old japanese house in autumn hokkaido oooooof that sounds nice

44. What’s your religion/Your thought about religion its a comforting thought having a parent-figure who cares about you and looks after all the big things you can’t manage yourself, but institutionalizing it runs a severe risk of becoming harmful cults. And it often does.

45. Your personality type me

46. The most dangerous thing you’ve done i saw the lost bunny that was on all the posters in the neighbourhood looked thin and patchy so i grabbed him to take him home. im allergic. sent me to hospital and I almost died.

47. Are you happy with your current life? feeling sick sucks and partners having a depressive episode but things are pretty good

48. Some things you’ve tried in your life living

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49. What does your wardrobe consist of? blacks, reds, whites and pinks

50. Favourite colour to wear? at the moment pink. Red is always comforting though.

51. How would you describe your style? mix between lazy alternative punk, teenager with band shirts and harajuku peach kawaii uwu

52. Are you happy with your current looks? kinda wish i was a bit shorter but what can you do

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be? bit shorter

54. Any tattoos or piercings? lol no PTSD

55. Do you get complimented often? by who? partner constantly, family haha are you kidding im australian so a friend’s version of showing affection is calling you a cunt and slapping your ass in public

56. Favourite aesthetic? all might

57. A popular trend that you dislike blocking because you disagree or find them distasteful. Ignoring all context to opposing thoughts and arguments. taking a personal feeling of disgust to mean something is evil. Blocking your ears to anything that isn’t a circlejerk of what you already think - and trying to isolate anyone who even just listens to something other then the noise of your sloppy dicks to have a thought of their own.

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58. Songs you’re currently obsessed with? The Machine by Low Roar

59. Song you normally wouldn’t admit you like. why wouldnt i admit i like a song

60. Favourite genre? probably enka haha

61. Favourite artist/band/genre? probably enka haha oh and tatsuro yamashita

62. Hated popular songs/artists? why the hell would I hate something like a song? I hate aspects of the music industry as a whole I guess?

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5 which playlist they aren’t all together in one place

64. Can you sing or play any instruments? piano, saxophone... uh... partners good at making music and playing shakuhachi

65. Do you like karaoke? no.

66. Own any albums? yes? many?

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations? no. but triple J, ABC Jazz and Classical. sometimes they even play final fantasy and JRPG music on classical which is pretty neat. -

68. Favourite movie/series? can i make this about games because then the answer is Metal Gear Solid

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc ...shounen?

70. Your fictional crush/es if they’re over 40yrs old, male and happy and bubbily or grumpy and sad then there’s a big ol fat chance I wanna bone. Solid Snake from MGS4, All Might and pretty much anyone drawn by Tarou Madoromi.

71. Which fictional character is you? uh

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so what does this even mean what language is this

73. Favourite greek god? idk hades seems chill

74. A legend from where you live that you like the story of Tjilbruke is funny and good. all Kaurna stories are good.

75. Do you like art? What’s your favourite work or artist? im in a big egon schiele mood atm.

76. Can you share your other social media? no i am incapable

77. Favourite youtubers? many

78. Favourite platform? not too high up. actually i like being a little lower than ground level in corners.

79. How much time do you spend on the internet? too much

80. What video games have you played? Which one’s your favourite? look i just want to say that MGS4 is the best one in the series and Death Stranding is phenomenally engaging.

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts) these are all so goddamn definitive how can I pick? Oh wait the answer is One Piece

82. Do you play board/card games? I play DnD atm and know 15 yr old rules to Yugioh

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema? that shit dosn’t happen here

84. Favourite holiday golden week coz its a week also easter because thats when all the glucose based sweets come back

85. Are you into dramas? what kind

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86. Would you use death note, if you had one? no. thats called being a murderer.

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to? chill people out a bit. when people feel unsafe they get really depenfive and territorial and block their ears to everything, making in-and-out groups for themsevles that end up putting them in more harm.

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse? im disabled with a disabled partner. we arent funny sure we can survive normal everyday life when society is angled so sharply against us.

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be? id like to be a mimi spirit

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death? spooky time

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick? toshinori yagi

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week? anyone healthy

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo that cursed one with the intense eyes and the hand

94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true im me im not me im pee

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95. Cold or hot? cold.

96. Be a hero or be a villain? both are distasteful ideas in reality

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme? i can’t do either partner speak sin bad puns and its hell, these both sound about equal

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time? shapeshifting. controlling time is eithe rmanipulative or lonely. shapeshifing is every other superpower at once.

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death? both are deeply upsetting ideas

100. ….. or …..? jiji or ossan? generally Jiji, but ossans can be lovely too.

[toxicpineapple]

is there a specific reason u dont like oumota?? or do u just Dislike it

oh boy anon you’re really gonna have me go into that kinda conversation alright... i guess it’s no secret that oumota is my least favourite pairing, so i don’t mind talking about it. all that aside please keep in mind that these are my opinions and i have a lot of respect for people who ship any pairing (aside from the problematic ones, obviously, pro-ship dni) and i have zero desire to start any fights with anybody.

i’ve never been a fan of enemies-to-lovers as a trope. i think it’s good to start there. one of my earliest fandoms was the death note fandom, and there was a LOT of lawlight (l x light) content. still is, i’m sure, i just haven’t been by the fandom in a while. i just, i absolutely hated it. i was in fifth grade at the time so i was a bit... oblivious, to chemistry between characters as a whole, but also, it just didn’t make any sense to me! they hated each other! why would you think that’s a good relationship! light LITERALLY wanted l dead and i’m not gonna say any spoilers in case i have followers who haven’t seen the show yet but the way things go down... it just didn’t make sense to me. there was the homoerotic foot rubbing scene, of course, and l tells light that they’re friends, but light was being ACTIVELY MANIPULATIVE the entire time. i didn’t see why people would want to ship people who are enemies. i couldn’t wrap my head around it.

after being in fandom for a bit longer, i think i’ve managed to figure it out, lol. i am (and will always be) of the belief that any pairing can be done well, given enough time and attention. (again aside from the problematic ones i’m not here to engage with incest or pedophilia okay that shit is nasty and i don’t need your “it’s fiction!” bull that kind of mindset perpetuates abuse.) if you can sell me on it, then damn, sure, i’ll be into it. i’m still not big on enemies-to-lovers, that fifth grade mindset of “it’s so weird to ship people who hate each other” hasn’t really gone away, but i’m open to it. if you can sell it, i’ll buy it! that kind of thing.

i still prefer friends-to-lovers though. in the danganronpa fandom, i’ve always prefered naegiri and hinanami over naegami and komahina. (oumasai and saimota are the exception, i go back and forth on them but ultimately i love them equally, ouma being my favourite antag and all) i just think that positive interactions are healthier, and communication is easier when you’re not at each other’s throats all the time. this is obviously my opinion, subject to debate and all that, yadda yadda yadda. i’ll take shy smiles across the breakfast table over homoerotic pauses in the middle of arguments any day of the week.

i think you’re starting to get the reason why oumota isn’t my cup of tea. still, i like naegami and komahina, like, a LOT. enough that i would write them on my own time, extensively, just because i feel like it. there are pairings where i wouldn’t be so willing, where i’d just shrug and do it if requested but ultimately keep to my side of the playground. even if i don’t immediately jump to shipping people who dislike each other, that doesn’t mean i should have an avid hate for this pairing! so what gives?

it comes down to this, anon: ouma and momota HATE each other in canon. with a lot of enemies-to-lovers things, there’s like, a brief moment of mutual appreciation to give people steam. byakuya and makoto have that!!! byakuya is there to help makoto as much as he can after their killing game, and from post-chapter four onwards byakuya is unreservedly on makoto’s side. they work together!!!! at the end of the game byakuya says he’ll help if people need it!!!!! (through the byakuya translator ofc.) and then he DOES!!!!!!! he went into the neo-world program to help makoto!!!

and komahina has that too!!! all of chapter one, for example? nagito’s ftes? at the end of nagito’s ftes hajime starts to really, truly understand why nagito is the way he is. he doesn’t agree with his actions but he gets it! and he feels BAD for him!! so bad that nagito lies and says what he’s been talking about didn’t really happen. not to mention 2.5, and post-canon, all the potential for slowburn while the remnants are living together on jabberwock island.... they make me soft.

saiouma has that too, i mean, i wouldn’t call saiouma enemies-to-lovers necessarily if only because shuichi is so passive for most of the game, but they have those, like, those small moments. ouma calls shuichi his beloved, and i do believe his behaviour in chapter four was just manipulation, but still, y’know, he was flirting. ouma’s love hotel shows that shuichi is LITERALLY his ideal, and shuichi puts up with all these death threats and games throughout ouma’s ftes in an attempt to understand him-- the final fte is so sweet, how shuichi bandages his finger after he cuts himself.... pique chaotic dumbass energy but they’re adorable as hell.

and i’m sorry to say this, but in my opinion and as far as i can remember... oumota...... doesn’t have that. not once does either ouma or momota show anything but cool distaste for one another. momota PUNCHES OUMA IN THE FACE in chapter four, which is the first real time you see the two of them like.... interacting? (aside from kaito begrudgingly, secretly agreeing with kokichi about people watching the motive videos, but that’s not shipping fuel imo.) and it only gets worse from there. throughout chapter four kokichi goads kaito, trying to pick at his insecurities-- not to mention he tries to get closer to shuichi, someone who kaito has been very close to this entire time!!! he insists that shuichi investigate with him, rather than with kaito, and keeps egging him on throughout the entire trial, mocking him and praising shuichi, the like. and after the trial kokichi PUNCHES KAITO IN THE STOMACH!!! AND KAITO HAS A COUGHING FIT SO BAD HE FALLS TO HIS KNEES!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!! sorry i’m trying not to be akdljflk about this it just... gah. i dunno. ouma absolutely SLAUGHTERS kaito and shuichi’s relationship, deliberately picking at kaito’s insecurities in order to tear down the group as a whole, and i just... it rubs me the wrong way.

chapter five is even worse for me. i know it’s like the biggest shipping fuel people have for them, and i,,, i get it? it’s poetic, the villain and the hero, these two purple dudes who represent opposing ideals, in this scandalous romance behind the exisal or whatever. i just can’t with it, though.

let’s talk about what ouma does to kaito in chapter five :)

-he knocks him out with an exisal and takes him hostage -he sends all his friends (except maki, beautiful, erratic maki) into a DEPRESSION so that the audience will get bored and stop watching the killing game -sorry i already said this but he KIDNAPS KAITO!! HE KIDNAPS HIM!!!! AND TRAPS HIM IN THE EXISAL HANGAR!!!! -he forces kaito to be indebted to him by pretending to drink the antidote and then giving it to him -he THREATENS MAKI!! HE THREATENS HER LIFE!!! IF KOKICHI DIES MAKI WILL BE EXECUTED AS THE BLACKENED AND KAITO KNOWS THIS!!!! i don’t care if you ship momoharu those two had A relationship regardless of whether you saw it was romantic or platonic and kaito cared about her??

he essentially held both maki and kaito hostage and BLACKMAILED kaito into going along with his plan. at the end of the chapter five trial kaito states that he went along with it because he thought it was brilliant, not because kokichi threatened maki, but i still just... it kind of horrifies me.

(i want to be perfectly clear that i LOVE kokichi ouma, he’s a brilliantly morally ambiguous character who did a bunch of fucked up things to try to achieve a noble cause and in no way is this me shitting on him, i’m just saying that given the things kokichi did to kaito i just, can’t get behind it.)

i should also address that even after kokichi did all that, even started BREAKING DOWN in the exisal hangar, kaito maintained that kokichi was a bastard who was difficult to understand. kokichi was being perfectly clear about his intentions. he wanted to end the killing games. i don’t think he ever wanted anything else, in the game. after all of that, for some reason, kaito still just didn’t get it. and i don’t think it’s because kaito is stupid-- kaito is NOT stupid, as funny as the memes are-- i just think that he was genuinely unwilling to try to understand kokichi ouma. he was sympathetic towards a lot of people. shuichi and maki and kaede and gonta and all of them. but he just, he didn’t like ouma. and i feel as though (this is just my speculation so don’t take this as anything real) kokichi never held anything towards kaito except resentment, either. because here’s this THICK DUMBASS who is ruining EVERYTHING that he’s trying to work towards-- not only that, but everyone absolutely adores him, the one thing that kokichi can not, no matter what, hope to achieve. because in order for his plan to work, he needs them to hate him.

all this is canon-compliant, though. i think ouma would’ve been a lot more mild in a non-despair au. i still don’t like the pairing in any aus though, regardless. i just don’t feel like they have the right kind of chemistry. ouma is, he’s like, he’s childish! he likes picking at people, trying to get reactions out of them. y’know who’s easy to get reactions out of? kaito. and not because he’s some funny stupid man, because he has CRIPPLINGLY LOW SELF ESTEEM. kaito is DEADASS afraid of ghosts and i know it’s a funny haha but he nearly shits himself whenever they’re so much as mentioned and ouma is the type of person who would just continue to bring them up to get the reaction out of him. it’s like shipping hiyoko and mikan, y’know? mikan gives hiyoko the reactions she wants and mikan takes it because she’s desperate for attention of any kind. they both feed into each other’s worst tendencies. kaito is easily challenged. all you have to do is imply he’s not a man and he’ll do whatever you want. that’s not HEALTHY!! and ouma would take advantage of it. not because he’s a bad person, but just because, he like,,, he messes around and he takes things too far because he’s a child and he hasn’t seen any real repercussions. that’s what i believe.

this is more of a petty, unrelated reason, but i also used to follow this really annoying oumota shipper who was constantly shoving the pairing down everyone’s throat and absolutely slaughtering kaito’s characterisation in the meantime. in a lot of fics i read before becoming actively against it, i saw ouma being a sniveling crybaby, totally unable to defend himself from anything, and kaito being this callous asshole who was mean to everyone but ouma. i just, i don’t see it? and then maki is always portrayed as so abusive, threatening and hurting ouma all over the place because kaito likes him and not her and shuichi is borderline obsessive if not outright creepy, either jealous of kaito or kokichi because there’s no grey area with these people, and they just, they make shuichi and maki so unsupportive and mean and i just... i don’t like it, not at all. the fastest way to make me hate a thing is by vilifying my favourite characters.

sorry for the long answer, anon. i know i have followers who like oumota, and i respect you for it! it’s just a MAJOR squick for me and i try not to engage with it if i can avoid it! thanks for the question!

[thezomblr-blog1]

tagged by: @a-poisonous-gamble​ tagging: @hellrager @oz-answers @a-goofy-zombie @kinkybccts @loveyourfears @ciiclops @spoiledfins @wooftm

answer the following for your muse so people know how shipping works on your blog.

What is your OTP for your character?: Pretty sure it’s obvious to anyone that watches this blog that Damien/Brian is my ride or die ship. However I also ship Brian/Oz, the holy trinity of Damien/Brian/Oz and Damien/Brian/Liam. Along with Brian/Liam and Brian Vera. You can check out a more detailed answer on this here.

What are you willing to write when it comes to shipping? Literally anything. Romance ship, hate ships, clean, smut, toxic ship, etc. I usually don’t shy away from any topic or scene as long as it make sense for the characters involved. I usually end up adapting to my partner’s preferences since I’m not picky at all. You tell me your limits and I abide by them. Simple as that. 

That said I am a huge, huge fan of slow burn ships (although to anyone that watches this blog that probably makes sense haha). It just makes the development and payoff of any milestones they hit all that much more worth it.

How large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?: Eh, I usually am playing with immortal characters, or characters with long lived life spans, etc. So I tend not to think about age gaps as the number itself tends to mean very little in the long run. I however will not play a ship with a minor character. That’s uncomfortable for me.  

Are you selective when shipping? Chemistry. I don’t like to do pre-established ships. It just feels wrong to me, I like seeing the progression of a relationship on this blog.This is due to how Brian interacts with people. He’s very closed off even towards his friends. Has a lot of baggage before a relationship is possible. The only exception was with Vera @a-poisonous-gamble who is his ex. 

How far do steamy moments have to go before they are considered NSFW? The moment it goes beyond teasing mostly. All depends on the context for me. 

Who are the characters that you ship your character with? Oops I guess I already kinda answered this question above. I will add on and say I am TOTALLY open to shipping with anyone. Canon or OC. It’s just difficult because Brian’s as Tsundere as they come. And he’s more than a little bit of an asshole. 

Does one have to ask to ship with you? I absolutely DO NOT mind if your character just comes at me with the flirts, come-ons,or even unrequited love/crushes.  As long as you understand that Brian is again an asshole, and tsundere as fuck which means he’s not always going to react well (which really is always going to be how the start of any relationship with Brian is going to be).  If you character is coming at me a lot with the flirts and the chemistry is flowing well -- Come talk to me! We can plot! If the chemistry is rough and the flirts are being denied? COME TALK TO ME! We can plot! Friendships, Romships, Hateships,Bromance, Anyships! I’m not scary to come talk to I promise. 

tl;dr: you dont have to ask! Just be aware that Brian might not return all affections at least right away.

How often do you like to ship? I’m all about character interaction. Fuck me up, my dude.O’m all for the ships - ALTHOUGH BRIAN MAKES IT SEEM LIKE I’M NOT I KNOW!  Are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less? Once you’re in a ship with me .... expect fic, aes posts, random hcs, stupid situations, and PAIN. I could talk about our dudes all day.  But I dont need it to be a rom ship in order to be hyped about it! So more or less I think?

Are you multiship? I am! My main verse is always going to be the ship with @hellrager but I’m so open to other ships. On that note though, I probably wont be doing duplicate ships. Like you’re most likely not gonna find me romantic shipping with multiple Damiens, or multiple Liams, Veras, etc. It’s just easier to keep track of what’s happening with what ship that way for me personally. I do not expect that to be reciprocated! (Ie; any other Dame’s Brian interacts with will be platonic or some other type of relationship)

What is your favorite ship in your current fandom? Excuse me? You expect me to choose out of all the characters? I would say my top ones are obviously Dame/Brian - I also love Oz/Polly, and Vera/Amira. 

Finally, how does one ship with you? Throw your character at mine! The more they interact -- even if it’s just through stupid, silly crack asks and what have you -- the more likely Brian is to react favorably! You can also just come and talk to me. My DMs are always open and I’m always willing to give my Discord to mutuals. 

[survivorreelsmagicwithin]

Episode 9- “THIS ROUND IS MAKING MY SCAR HURT”-Owen

I have honestly never been happier for a merge!!  I hope that Lily, Landen and I are still as tight as we used to be going into merge.  I'm excited to get to know Jules, she messaged me and we have a mutual friend and she seems so sweet!

GUESS WHO, BITCHES! Aheh! *sticks out tongue and cackles* I'm making MARSHMALLOW moves because 1 - I made the Merge, and with Jacob C and Max GONE!!! Thank FUCK because they are the perfect two people to have be gone first, Max being gone clears a major target off Hufflepuff's back and gets rid of a stigma I'm gonna have as him being my number, as well as a potential goat in this game that people would probably try to drag around. I already talked about Jacob being gone in an earlier confessional. I liked Max; but he was just seriously going to be a wrench in my game, so this is a major relief. I'm so glad to finally be done with the premerge stage (even though I was safe for 8/9 tribal councils... OK CUTE!)  And I'm ready to take on the big leagues. Hopefully I don't die ASAP. Obviously, I'm not just hoping that. Here's what this Hufflepuff is thinking moving forward. First of all, I found the Merge Idol, or the Avada Kedavra spell. This is honestly perfect, as soon as the mini challenge hunt was revealed I knew I would have to give it my EVERYTHING to find that damn idol, because there was literally no way I was ever going to find one of the branching path advantages. I don't even want to *try* to find one and keep track of all the paths I've followed, let alone actually having the luck and gut intuition to actually get there... Especially after seeing how hard yall made the escape room branching paths. Thanks, but no thanks. I'll just take the challenge one. I'm pretty nervous having it under my belt because I tend to get paranoid with idols, like *really* nervous about playing it correctly and making sure I have it at the right moment and everything, where I usually misplay or just don't end up playing. Hopefully I can avoid that and actually have the read to play it correctly this season, but at the end of the day, it's a security blanket. I did wind up telling Lily that I had it, mostly because I trust Lily ferociously, with ALL my heart, and I also know how skilled of a social player she is. If Lily gets any crucial information and wants us to play something, then she can give it to me and we'll be able to get it done and Lily won't feel lied to. It's crucial I keep her on my side because A - I genuinely want to work with her, I've been with her the whole time and I love her! And B - As long as we make it past these early stages like 11, 10, 9, She is always going to be a bigger target than me. Lily is a bigger social threat than I am with more conversationalist skills and inroads, once we get to the stage that people like that are targeted, she's gonna be the one that people go after, not her beta bitch little gay marshmallow friend :D and I'm okay with that!! I have a similar plan with Kevin, I'm ready to be his sub beta BITCH for as long as I need to because at the end of the day I'm confident people will target him over me for his challenge prowess, his inroads with almost everyone in the game, and the way he is going to have to betray people sooner or later. And again, another plan with Juls. I want to be close to Kevin, Juls, and Lily, and keep them around as shields for me. I'm not going to be the one to ruthlessly take them out, because I'm confident enough in my own gameplay that I don't need to do that, but if I can be there when they all get voted out and then pick up the pieces at Final Tribal, I'm MORE than happy to do so. ;) But as far as that goes, I need to first make the final 7 or 8 with all those shields in order to be okay in the game. Without becoming a SOCIAL POWERHOUSE, it might be.... let's just say DIFFICULT, for me to make the inroads with the Ravenclaws that I need to avoid their target early on. Early in the merge people are going to want to go for people that won't make WAVES and while me leaving would upset... Lily, and like, **maaaaaybe Juls**, if I'm lucky.. I don't think anyone else would be that torn up about it. So I have to find the right routes to survive right now, and this can be a time for my game to shine that I can use in my Final Tribal later to point out the positives of my game. I started with Kevin, I had a 2 hour call with him tonight just going over everything that happened in our games and kinda making a truce that JUST IN CASE this vote turns into a war of sides and we end up on opposite sides, let's please not gun for one another. But I also discussed the possibility of us working together with Lily, Ruthie, and potentially our very good mutual friend Autumn! If I want to work with Juls, also having Autumn may be a great way to get ourselves set up for the future, and if I am tight with Juls AND kevin wants to work with hufflepuff, that should be more than enough ammunition to convince Autumn, who already has strong bonds with me and Lily from our last swapped tribe (I love her btw!) to vote with us. The only problem here is that it would leave us with probably Owen as the only option, because I don't think Kevin will want to turn on any of Jules, Joanna, and Dan just yet. He also may not want to isolate them either which would make an Owen vote tricky. On the other hand I get the sense that Kevin might be willing to vote out Chips, we discussed that, BUTTT, Juls and Autumn would NOT be on board with that and if Kevin wanted to vote out Chips, maybe Juls and Autumn would find a way to sneak back in with the Ravenclaws and take the opportunity to blindside ME (owen wouldn't go for Ruthie, Lily is too good socially) and that's just a risk I'm not sure how ready i am to take... Meaning right now it might be better to subtly set up the vote to land on Owen, than Chips. Of course that's not even factoring immunity into the whole mess, and also other Pre-Game/Cross-Tribal relationships that WHO EVEN KNOWS WHAT THEY ARE!!! I'm sure lots more people know each other from past games and it'll probably all start coming out of the floodgates very soon, so for someone like me, who's relatively new to this community - I'm interested to see where the lines get drawn and what goes down. It honestly feels like this merge vote is going to be the Battle of Hogwarts, and I'm just donning my robes, gripping my wand, ready to make any marshmallow moves necessary to make to secure that my side wins. Hell, I'll secure myself through a Horcrux if I have to! (Which I guess in Survivor terms is equivalent to putting my soul into that idol so that I can revive myself through it when I 'die' to cancelled out votes!) Here we go, game on, this Final 11 is stacked, and it's EXACTLY what I've been waiting for.

Soooooo my loyal ass can’t help but still feel the most trust and loyalty to Ruthie, Landen, and Kevin. Now my brain is trying to think of some way to make this work so that none of us get voted out. The only thought I have right now is a girls alliance with Ruthie and I and I’m thinking juls and autumn? Then Kevin and landen in an alliance with dan and chips? Dan and Owen??? I think I should probably talk to Kevin and see where he is at. I just would hate for this to all backfire in my face now. I’m not ready to be done with this game and hope that the hufflepuffs don’t become the targets. It’s also helpful to note that landen told me he has the idol. He wants to keep it between us and I’m good with that. He says he would use it on me or for him. Whomever gets targeted first. I sure as hell didn’t get past the sudoku so this is great. I hope that I don’t become a target anytime soon and I can remain under the radar despite going to a rock vote...

In all honesty this merge has me VERY nervous for my life haha.  Everyone is so intimidating!  I need to message everyone but it is just very overwhelming! Right now I'm just talking to Lily, Landen, Dan and Jules!!  Jules is very nice and I'm getting great vibes from her- I can't remember if I already said that yesterday or not though, LOL. I need to message Autumn and get to know her, Lily says that she is someone we can potentially work with this merge. I think Lily and Landen still want to go after Owen and I just don't know about that, I need to message him and see where is head is, I still feel guilty about the round we went to rocks.

next day

Very little people are talking to me and keeping up with messages with me when I message them... so I smell a vote me out scheme trying to happen.  I'm going to wait for awhile to panic just in case people are sleeping, I'm going to idol search at my normal time and I prayyyyyy to the survivor gods that I find some kind of advantage so I'm not the one going home tonight.  Best case scenario would be for me to find something that could help the OG huffle puffles make it through! 

god landen when you read this i know ive only known u for a bit but i do love you with all my heart. but. you are A CLOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A STRAIGHT UP CLOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! u are so cracked and i love you for it, but i dont know if you're trying to lie to me or u genuinely believe all the shit u say!!!! i just dont know!!! but ugh king...true king....much to think about....

2 hours later

AHHH are Landen, Owen and I really about to form some kind of power alliance here or...?  Going from having our names thrown around to potentially working together, I like the sound of that!  I think the people that threw my name out there were 100% Dan and Joanna which is VERY frustrating to me but... whatever.  Dan just told me he heard my name so he must sense that I know he was probably the one to suggest it or go along with it but I am going to be very wary.   In all honesty I would LOVE to work with Dan here but I just don't think it is going to work because I don't think we can trust each other as far as we can throw each other haha.  I think he is now just telling me that he heard my name to cover his ass so I don't go after him but UGH.  I would love for us all to just come together and vote out someone that is playing the middle at least this first round in the merge.  The people I think are in the middle right now are Chips, Juls, Autumn and sadly Kevin.  I want to say that he is with me but it is just really hard to tell right now :/ If we do come together to make like a huffleclaw alliance I'm going to suggest Juls or Chips go.  I feel like maybe some of them would be okay with that?? UGHH. I hate this part of the game y'all.  

Owen says that Dan doesn't want me to go? I'm SO UGHHH.   Okay so according to Owen, Autumn and Dan want Landen to go, and Juls and Jules want me to go which SUCKS because I felt good vibes from Jules whenever we talk.  Everyone else is just kind of in the middle but I think... that maybe we can get the votes for Joanna to go.  Owen seems to think that her and Dan aren't as tight as I thought they were.

THIS ROUND IS MAKING MY SCAR HURT First of all, I was very very happy to have won out to merge lol. I don't know what would've happened between Landen/Lily and Autumn/myself, but there would've been some fireworks lol. At the end of the day though we didn't have to worry about that! But now? My worries are ten times worse. I thought coming in that the three Gryffindor would join forces with Dan/Jules/myself, but the more time has gone on, the more I've realized Jules and Dan are NOT on the same page at all. Dan is so worried about Jules being a social player and having other connections, which I agree with wholeheartedly. Especially bc Jules came to me today and basically said: I like Landen and don't want to vote Landen, so unless you vote Ruthie, it's going to be you. LIKE WHAT! It was so freaking obvious Jules is trying to save Landen's ass for some reason and manipulate me into thinking it was a me vs. ruthie thing when really it's a landen vs. ruthie thing. Because now, Autumn/Dan seem to want to push Landen's name still, and Jules/Juls want Ruthie gone to save Landen, and I'm somewhere in the middle I guess??? But it sucks because in my heart, I really want to stay loyal to Dan, get revenge on Landen/Ruthie bc they freaking lied to me and got Jess out. But in my head I get this feeling that if I take out Landen rn, I'm going to be soon because I'll be a next big "threat," and that it'll turn into an Old West situation where all the players take each other out all merge and start to give the floaters more and more power. It's not fair! So I'm toying with the idea of pulling together with Lily/Ruthie/Landen and protecting them, so that hopefully they continue to get targeted as a group over myself. But in doing that, it seems like I'll just screw over Dan/Autumn, and I literally CANNOT do that. I wonder if there's a way to get Dan to want to do Joanna somehow? I don't know. I would feel ten times more okay if we could all get on the same page, save both Ruthie and Landen, and take out a non-threat. I'm falling into a trap I always do. I want too many people happy with me and too many things to be secure and go my way, so I'm making two different deals with two people, and I'm gonna have four enemies left in the game by tonight. So it's like - do I take the risk of pissing people off to save Landen? Or do I go with the path of least resistance and, against my better judgement, get Landen out of the game? I HATE SURVIVOOOOOOR

I LOVE this alliance I have with Landen and Lily, like I can't even.  I LOVE how transparent we are being with each other through the whole thing and how we are working together.  I also like that Landen and Owen are now getting along SO MAYBE I can continue to go far with all of them. I might not be so done tonight! SORRY all I keep doing is making confessionals.

I dunno who to vote out. I like everyone

I’ve honestly never hated a cast more than this one. I want to flip on all my allies, be a psycho, and just get voted out lmao

thought i made a confessional but i know for a FACT that i didn’t.. just girly tingz. but anyways so! this first merge vote gonna make me break out with how much stress it’s bringing me because every time jules kevin and i save landens ass he digs himself another hole HVDBDBD but i love him.. my cracked king. i just hope we can make this vote go the way we want it but OF COURSE. people just love to make things difficult.. sick to my mother fuckin stomach. 

I don't trust any of these people, everyone is WAY too quiet for right before a vote. Last I heard is that Landen, Lily, Owen, Dan, Kevin and I are voting Joanna but... WHAT? I just don't trust it, I really thought that Dan and Joanna were really close so I'm just... ugh. I wish we could get Jules out because I heard she is after me!  SO me being the nosy person I am did some digging on her big brother pokemon profile and may have more of an insight... sorry Jules when you read this I promise I'm not a stalker, LOL. Anyway, I'm beyond nervous, something just isn't adding up.  Even LILY my number one ride or die is being too quiet. :/

So I got sick and then kind of... talked a limited amount to people. Luckily Max was targeted instead of me and Jules and Juls voted with me to vote him out. Then we merged And merge is INSANE. Four names have been thrown: Ruthie, Landen, Owen, Joanna Each name gained steam in its own time but then petered out and then the other gained steam. Lily tried for the better part of an hour to explain how we need to vote out a Ravenclaw because they're scary. Autumn told me Kevin doesn't want to associate with the Hufflepuff sunken ship. It's been a lot and I think Ruthie is the final vote today? Of course, I think there will be an idol play or a power played and the outcome will be different. But that's who I voted. I want to be added to an alliance now that we merged and I"m too nervous to make my own. Hm... guess I'll be third wheeling it while everyone else uses me as an extra number.

Why are Lily and Landen not talking to me but Owen and Dan are??? THIS IS HOW... craziness happens. I am literally sweating bullets right now.

28 minutes later

I AM SEETHING RIGHT NOW. I'm frustrated that Landen won't vote for Jules when not everyone is comfortable voting for joanna right now and like literally ANYONE ELSE would vote for jules right now.  LANDEN OWEN AND I ARE FREAKING BREAKING OUR NECKS FOR YOU AND THIS HAPPENS I AM SO MAD.

8 minutes later

THIS is why the only person I idol hunt with is Lily.  I am SO MAD AT LANDEN RIGHT NOW. 

tribals in 10 minutes i need to do one of these really quick essentially autumn/jules/juls/chips wanna do ruthie and then lily/owen/dan/ruthie are down to do any of the other 4 but i dont wanna break trust with those ppl nor vote them out i really want owen out and i think i got my people on board with that ??? but we're waiting for autumn to get online idk if its gonna happen if it does this is insane this has to be a blindside but like idk if its gonna be im gonna scream and never stop screaming ever so idk idk idk oh my god but if owen goes home......... wow. i did that. but if i go home.......... wow. i did that. IM SORRY THIS IS SO NOT SPECIFIC

[custompotato]

(My first one! Ahhh! Im So excited!) Thank you, @lovelylangst, for tagging me!

Rules: Write 92 truths about yourself then tag 25 people (I dont have 25 people But imma try anyway!!!)

Long ass post.

LAST… [1] drink: Coffee [2] phone call:My mom [3] text message: Sent? My mom. Received?  One of my WoW friends (whom i love) [4] song you listened to: She Keeps Me Up, by Nickleback. [5] time you cried: Last night.

HAVE YOU EVER… [6] dated someone twice: I dont think so.  [7] been cheated on: Probably tbh [8] kissed someone and regretted it: Nope. [9] lost someone special: Do... Do pets count?  [10] been depressed: Yes, but I’m getting a lot of help from the fambam  [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope!! Dont drink too much, and I cant remember the last time I threw up involuntarily.

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS: [12] Dark Blue [13] Orange  [14] Red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: Yup! And I’m so, so happy! I love them! [16] fallen out of love: I can’t say I’ve ever romantically *loved* someone, just kinda liked them, and that’s still going strong so. [17] laughed until you cried: ...We do not mention that night. [18] found out someone was talking about you: In what way? Like. meanly? Nicely? I dont think anyone would tbh I kinda suck [19] met someone who changed you: Read: The Fambam.  [20] found out who your true friends are: Uhhhh. Nothing like... Super cataclysmic clued me in?  [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: ... I dont think so? My memory of time is pretty shit tbh.

GENERAL… [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: All but like. 4. [23] do you have any pets: 54: 3 dogs, 8 cats, 3 goats(babies incoming), 12 ducks, 24 chickens, 2 pigs, 1 snake, 1 goose [24] do you want to change your name: Not to anything specific?? I just like using alias [25] what did you do for your last birthday: Do people celebrate those? ;;;; haha... ha. Im a lonely, old gremlin. [26] what time did you wake up: 6:53 [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping. [28] name something you cannot wait for: S3 of Voltron, more wonderful angst of any of my favorite characters, happiness without worry, being 18 so i can do shit, retirement, bedtime. [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: 3 seconds ago when I looked over to make sure she didnt know I was on Tumblr. [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: My insecurites and general disgust and hatred for life. [31] what are you listening to right now: One of the freaking chickens laying eggs outside. And the pig playing with her food toy.  [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: ... Prob, tbh, but I dont know their names. Only their groceries. [33] something that is getting on your nerves: My family [34] most visited website: Tumblr/Ao3 [35] elementary: Coal Creek [36] high school: (i dont understand the context.) What year im in? last. One i go to? Connections Academy. Favorite year? Junior [37] college: I do intend on going? To Aims [38] hair color: Natural? Brown. Current? Brown with the underside a dark red(really pretty red) [39] long or short hair: Long <3  [40] do you have a crush on someone: No comment... *sweatdrops* [41] what do you like about yourself: Uh... Um... I am the reincarnation of Happy Bunny, as said by my coworker. [42] piercings: A helix. I want my tongue done though [43]blood type: Hell if i know. Red. Prob... kinda salty-sweet, for you vamps out there. I dont taste good but youre welcome to try.  [44] nickname: Carrie/Path [45] relationship status: Single. [46] zodiac sign: Virgo.  [47] pronouns:She/her [48] fav tv show: Too many to list, but current is Voltron [49] tattoos: I wanna get one. Several, really. [50] right or left hand: Right

FIRST… [51] surgery: Idk, maybe? Prob not though.  [52] piercing: Ears [53] best friend: Irl? Ruby/Bo. Online? the Fambam in its entirety. [54] sport: To do? Ick. To watch? Basketball, i guess Favorites to watch/read about: tennis, basketball [55] vacation: Vegas, 7th Grade [56] pair of trainers: Those are shoes right?

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: Nothing! [58] drinking: Nothing! [59] i’m about to: Finish this up, read some langst, and go to work! [60] listening to: Nothing, rn  [61] waiting for: Happiness. And my later doom. Screw work. [62] want: Happiness. And a nap.  [63] get married: Only for tax benefits [64] career: Divorce Lawyer! (dreams of little girls, right?)

WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: both. Fight me.  [66] lips or eyes: Eyes, because they dont mock me verbally. Also i can actually draw them so. [67] shorter or taller: I like tall people. I wish I were short.  [68] older or younger: Should I care??? As long as I’m not breaking laws, well. [70] nice arms or nice stomach: Stomach. And arms. Crush me against your nice stomach with your nice arms. [71] sensitive or loud: I am loud to cover up my sensitivity [72] hook up or relationship: ... depends tbh. If i were more confident in my body i would totally lean to hook up though. But also, cuddles are nice? I want cuddles. [73] troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant. I am the most timid potato.

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? Nope! [75] drank hard liquor? Yup! [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? Dont remind me. [77] turned someone down: Yup! [78] sex on first date? Haha. Me? Sex? (im not confident enough for sex. also. No dates) [79] broken someone’s heart? ....If i think really hard and ignore the part of me saying noone could love me like that, I actually... Have? Several times? FML IM SORRY SIT!  [80] had your own heart broken? You cant break what I have already crushed! Haha! [81] been arrested? Almost, but not really.  [82] cried when someone died? Do pets/videogame characters count?? [83] fallen for a friend? ... No comment. (looks away shiftily)

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? I thought we established the extreme no-ness of this? [85] miracles? Why should I? They’ll never benefit me. [86] love at first sight? Lust, yes. Love? Doesnt exist. [87] Santa Claus? No. [88] kiss on the first date? Who is the date with?  [89] angels? Nope!

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: Ruby/Bo/Ro/Entirety of Fambam [91] eye color: Brown [92] favorite movie: uhh... Kung Fu Panda 2 I guess.

Tagged peoples:

@moriatake @hubbletuff @redmullets @strifingkind @ghost-toaster @vivelavoltron @rubatosisopossum @kaxpha (you dont know me but I love you) @appsa @baked-mashed-potato @daddyshiro @aquabutterfly @demiquaver @lance-lance-revolution hnnnn how many more to go idont want to just tag random people ahh plz dont hate me, @bext-k because. youre like a queen. we need to know things. @lolygothica bc youre pretty much the reason i have tumblr thank you for all your fake fb posts and texts ilysm, @moroseconcept @prince-lance-of-altea cant wait for the Secret Circle au, ily for that, @sniperlance bc im running out of people and ily too even if we never talked before, @the-blue-artemis at this point half the people here i know from their langst. pretty sure im doing this wrong is it supposed to be just mutuals?!?! okay im done its not 25 people but i cant.. figure out... who else. (Please dont hate me T-T)