#(what's the logic? uh... stop asking questions i just think it's funny so we're making it a thing ISNDCJN)

[vixlenxe]

The 'don't put Eros's feathers in the washing machine' Thing.

[bumblesimagines]

The Oldest Pogue

Part 2

Request: Yes or No

Btw some things might change but not drastically.

~

(Y/N) stood beside JJ, munching on a twinkie as he watched him toss rock.

"Thanks for sticking up for me." JJ mumbled, looking at him. (Y/N) nodded, giving a small smile.

"Of course, JJ." (Y/N) patted his hand before turning his head as John B started speaking.

"Look, I'm callin' it off, alright?" John B looked at them. "Peterkin said, if I stay out of the marsh, she'll help me with DCS."

"And you believed her?" JJ cocked a brow. (Y/N) gently nudged him. He knew Peterkin well. She was like a mother to him.

"Yes, I believe her, JJ."

"An actual cop, John B. You believed a cop." JJ tossed another rock. (Y/N) internally sighed. He knew JJ had a long history with cops and he knew a lot of the ones in the department just took the job to have power over people. It took a while for the group to trust (Y/N) cause of his father.

"How do we know he won't snitch?" JJ asked John B, not caring about being quiet. Kiara shot (Y/N) an apologetic smile. (Y/N) brushed her off. He stood, stepping outside and approaching them.

"Look, if I were you, I wouldn't trust me either. I don't mean any harm to you guys. You don't have to trust me right away and I don't expect it. Dad isn't using me to spy on you. I have free will to do whatever the fuck I want. I can help you guys if you get arrested by lowering the bail or convincing them to not arrest you at all." (Y/N) shrugged.

"John B and Pope are my friends. I'm not here to take your spot." (Y/N) shifted his gaze onto John B. "When's your dad getting home? I could start up dinner for everyone."

"All I gotta do is stay out of the marsh for a couple of days, and she'll help me out. It doesn't help that your ass was the one shooting a gun." John B said, tossing his beer to the side. JJ rolled his eyes.

"You know what we should have done, man? We should've let Topper drown your ass." JJ said, continuing to toss rocks.

"Yeah, like Topper was gonna drown me?" John B scoffed.

"Sure looked like it." JJ replied.

"That's funny."

"I mean have you looked in a mirror?" JJ got off the table, approaching everyone. (Y/N) took his spot, finishing his twinkie as he watched them.

"Come on, tell me some more. Come on." John B encouraged as JJ got closer.

"They always win, don't they, man? Kooks versus Pogues. They always, always win! Goddamn!" JJ shook his head, walking away from them.

"Okay!" Kiara tried to defuse the situation but JJ whipped around. "No, it's not okay!"

"JJ.." (Y/N) sighed, walking towards him.

"No, (Y/N). They don't want us to go down into the marsh. That means there's something valuable down there, and you know it." JJ said, pointed at John B, earning an eye roll.

"I know you do. And I understand why you don't wanna go." JJ pointed at Pope. "You're the golden boy. You got way too much to risk." JJ shifted his attention onto Kiara.

"And you.. I mean, you're rich as fuck anyway. Why would you bother?" JJ looked at (Y/N).

"And you.. You're a golden boy too. Another year of school before you're off to some cooking school where you'll forget about us." (Y/N) frowned, knowing it wasn't true. JJ looked at John B.

"But you and me, man, we got nothing to lose! We really don't, alright?"

"JJ.." John B sighed.

"And I know.. It didn't use to be that way for you." John B shook his head.

"I don't want to talk about this. I don't want to talk about it." John B went to walk past JJ.

"So that's it?" JJ asked. John B pushed him away.

"Just get out of my way, bro." John B huffed, walking away. The others could simply watch.

"John B, listen to me. I have a plan." JJ said, following him and standing beside him.

"You got the key to Cameron's big boat, right?" John B tried to object. "There's scuba gear inside, man. We just borrow that, and then we go down to the wreck this afternoon, and that is what's gonna save you, man." JJ said, holding his shoulders.

"You don't see rich kids going to foster care, do you?" JJ questioned. John B seemed hesitant.

"I know this is gonna sound shitty of me.. But.. What if this could be or lead to a possible hint of where your dad is, John B?" (Y/N) watched them turn to face him.

"(Y/N).." Kiara shook her head. (Y/N) sighed.

"I know this is a sensitive topic but, think about it. We haven't heard from him in nine months and suddenly you guys find this boat. It never hurts to try." (Y/N) shrugged.

"Scooter was probably drunk and thought it would be fun to ride the waves." Kiara said. "Plus you're supposed to be the voice of reason and logic, like Pope!"

"I know, Kie." (Y/N) sighed, looking at John B. "Up to you."

"Make this quick, alright? Dad has a group of officers and volunteers out looking for this wreck." (Y/N) said.

"Oh, good. You're back." Kiara looked at him. (Y/N) gently shoved her. Kiara laughed softly, checking the tanks.

"This is empty. You took empty tanks?" Kiara asked. John B ran his hand through his hair, shrugging lightly.

"Okay, this one's a quarter full. It's enough for one of us." Kiara said, looking at the boys.

"Love it when a plan comes together." JJ mumbled.

"Does anybody know how to dive?" Kiara asked. They remained silent.

"Anybody?"

"It's kind of a Kook sport." JJ said. Kiara sighed.

"The closest I've ever gotten was watching a documentary." (Y/N) shrugged. JJ chuckled. "Nerd."

"I... Read about about it." Pope said.

"Great, Pope read about it and (Y/N) watched a documentary, so somebody's gonna die." Kiara shook her head.

"Look, y-you put the thing in your mouth and breathe. How hard could it be?" JJ questioned.

"Well, if you come up too fast, nitrogen gets into your blood, and you get the bends." Pope informed them.

"Bends like, bend over and.." JJ arched his back.

"The bends kill you." Pope interrupted. JJ blinked and straightened up. "Right." (Y/N) snorted, shaking his head.

"I can... I can dive." John B offered.

"Yeah, you can dive. I'm cool with that." JJ nodded.

"Since when can you dive?" Kiara asked, brows furrowing as the wind tossled everyone's hair.

"I'll do it. It's fine." John B assured. Pope stood.

"Let me do some calculations real quick." Pope said. Kiara stared at John B, frowning and shaking her head. Pope quickly did the calculations. Kiara took off her shirt and jumped into the water, causing the boys to look.

"Uh.." John B glanced at the boys.

"What was that all about?"

"I don't know, but I liked it. A lot." JJ grinned. (Y/N) rolled his eyes. "Don't be jealous, (N/N). We still think you're hot." JJ patted his head.

"I know. I catch you guys staring. A lot." (Y/N) said, watching the boys softly flush and look away.

"So, uh, yeah. When you, uh, when you're down there, you look for the cargo hold, you stick this thing inside and twist and pull, away?" JJ showed him the key. Kiara resurfaced, swimming towards the boat.

"Hey, I tied my t-shirt to the anchor chain about ten feet down. It's where you need to do your safety stop." Kiara told them. (Y/N) helped her onto the boat as Pope helped John B prep some more. JJ tried giving him some advice on keeping calm.

"When you start running out of air, resurface.. Even if you haven't found anything. Your safety is more important than some wreck." (Y/N) said. John B nodded.

"Got it, Mama Pogue." John B grinned.

"Hey, if we get caught out in the marsh, we're bascially screwed, so... Better get a move on." Pope said. John B nodded as Kiara approached him. She stepped up, leaning in and pecking his cheek. John B blinked. The boys exchanged glances.

"Diver down?"

"Diver down." Kiara stepped down as John B hopped into the water. He disappeared under. (Y/N) anxiously watched the water, searching for signs of distress.

"He'll be fine, (Y/N)." JJ gently tugged on his arm. (Y/N) sighed and nodded, sitting beside him. JJ gently bumped his knee against (Y/N)'s, their legs touching. (Y/N) was too focused on the water to notice. They heard a siren sound and turned to look.

"Fuck me." (Y/N) whispered. JJ cocked a brow, giving a grin. (Y/N) noticed and nudged his leg, chuckling.

"Just act frickin' normal." Kiara said.

"You should deal with this, (Y/N)." Pope said. (Y/N) huffed lightly.

"Evening, officers." Pope greeted. Shoupe immediately looked at his son.

"Evening." Shoupe returned the greeting. He cleared his throat, looking at them.

"How you kids doing? The marsh is closed. (Y/N), you know this." Shoupe shot his son a pointed look.

"Sorry, dad. I forgot.. I had a lot of things on my mind and it slipped. I was thinking about our conversation from yesterday." (Y/N) looked at him, frowning. Shoupe sighed but nodded.

"Why is it closed anyway?" JJ asked.

"Well, we're conducting a search out here. Boat went down." Shoupe explained. "Seen anything?"

"Nope. No boat." Pope and JJ shook their heads. (Y/N) licked his lips, shaking his head as well.

"Where's your friend you always hang with? He here?" Shoupe asked them all, though he looked at (Y/N). JJ and Pope subtly glanced at each other.

"He's working." Kiara answered. Shoupe hummed.

"I'm gonna check your little boat out." Shoupe said, getting on the boat. (Y/N) sighed deeply.

"Don't worry, I'm not trying to embarrass you, (Y/N)." Shoupe said. "Feels like it." (Y/N) mumbled.

"You can check her out." Pope shrugged, standing and letting Shoupe wonder around, checking things. Shoupe stepped up, putting his sunglasses on and looking at the water. (Y/N) watched him, anxiety slowly spiking. Minutes passed.

"Are you done checking out your reflection, dad?" (Y/N) asked. Shoupe chuckled, turning around and looking at them.

"Beautiful day, ain't it?" Shoupe headed back to his boat. The boys agreed.

"Let us know if you find anything on your way out." Shoupe said.

"Will do." Pope nodded. Shoupe started the engine, heading away from them. They quickly went to the edge, waiting for John B to resurface.

"He's definitely out of air." Pope mumbled. John B surfaced, the anxiety and tension leaving. JJ quickly helped John B.

"Did you find anything?"

"Did I find anything.." John B grinned, tossing the bag into the boat.

"Yeah, there we go! That's my boy!" JJ laughed.

"You okay?" Kiara asked.

"Yeah, I ran out of air." John B climbed onboard.

"Yeah, the cops were up here, but, uh... We took care of 'em." Pope said. (Y/N) brushed the hair out of John B's face, shaking his head.

"That was stupid but.. We got something out of it." (Y/N) mumbled.

"Hey, guys? Guys, bogey, two o'clock." Kiara said. The boys turned their heads, seeing the boat.

"Anyone recognize that boat?" Pope asked.

"Nope."

"Never seen it." Kiara shooo her head. "What are they doing here? The marsh is closed."

"Dad said volunteers could help." (Y/N) reminded.

"Let's not stick around." JJ said.

"JJ, get the bowline." John B said. (Y/N) kept an eye on the boat.

"They don't seem friendly." (Y/N) mumbled.

"Don't wait for me." JJ said as John B started the engine. They quickly tried leaving.

"They're picking up speed." (Y/N) called. They glanced back.

"They're following us." Kiara glanced at the boys. They quickly got into a chase. (Y/N) looked back at the boat.

"Fuck, get down!"

"Why?" A gunshot answered the question. They quickly ducked, John B having to stay standing so he could drive.

"Oh my god, we're gonna die." Pope said. They heard more gunshots, John B making turns which made the shooter miss.

"Shit, Pope, move." Kiara stood, grabbing some nets.

"Kie, get down!" (Y/N) shouted, flinching when another gunshot rang out. Kiara tossed the net into the water, the boat chasing them stopping when the net caught them. They whooped and laughed, shock passing.

"Is everyone okay?" (Y/N) asked. They nodded. "Kie, that was fucking dangerous but smart as hell. Tell us beforehand."

"Yes, Mama Pogue." Kiara chuckled. They got to John B's wooden port and tied the boat before getting off. John B put the duffle bag down, opening it as the others gathered around.

"What do you guys think it is?" Kiara asked.

"It's gotta be money." John B replied.

"Probably drugs." (Y/N) shrugged.

"Can we please just open the bag?" Pope asked, causing the others to look at him.

"Wow, Pope. That's a rare outburst of emotion." John B said, chuckling. They opened it, finding a metal thing. John B opened it and took out the thing inside. His face fell, opening it and staring at the compass.

"Oh, wow. Yup. That's about right." Pope nodded. They seemed dissapointed.

"At least it looks nice." (Y/N) said, noticing the look on John B's face. "What's up?"

"This was my father's." John B whispered, a smile appearing on his face.

[freddieslater]

Rowing the Rarepair Rowboat: Kaleb Hawkins x Jed (Legacies)

Requested by anonymous, encouraged by @lemon-patches and @antopazas

It's been hours. Kaleb lost track a little while ago, somewhere around eleven, he thinks. When he happens to glance at the clock now, because this is basically Hogwarts where he's not even allowed a phone, it tells him it's four-thirty in the morning.

He should be surprised; he's not even tired, and honestly, he didn't think it was possible to talk for so long without running out of things to say. Somehow, he and Jed have managed perfectly fine.

It started off from after Lizzie's fake funeral, both needing to vent about Alyssa. Then at some point, after they had moved up into Kaleb's room, the conversation just shifted. It went from their dumb rivalry, to some lightehearted joking about werewolves vs vampires, to Jed telling him about the person he killed and Kaleb telling him how he turned. And now they're just here, sharing the most random, tiny details, anything that comes to mind.

He now knows that Jed doesn't like being Alpha. He sussed that his favourite colour is some very light shade of yellow from the amount of things he's mentioned that have been that colour in his life, including the times Penelope used to paint his nails. He was actually super into Harry Potter as a kid, and they both appreciate old music, as well as the beauty of vinyls.

Jed also knows way more about him now than anyone else in the school, which wouldn't be hard, but still. It's easier to talk to him when they're not at each other's throats over some crush on the same girl. Except, that's not really all it was.

He gazes at Jed with a faint smile. Talking has certainly made things a lot clearer, at least for him.

"Do you think we're idiots?" Jed asks, switching from his topic of constellations as he rolls his head to the side to meet his eyes. "Truthfully. The way we were acting?"

Kaleb shrugs, but he huffs out a quiet chuckle. "Truthfully? For sure. We... certainly did and said some things."

Jed sighs, then shakes his head, staring back at the blue wall of books and records across from them. A gentle crease forms between his eyebrows, but he wears a ghost of a nervous smile.

"It's so weird," he tells him, and suddenly he seems tense for the first time in the whole night. "I've never done anything like that before. Fought because of a crush. It felt like there was something to prove, you know?"

Kaleb hums in agreement. Even with the pointed, emphasized way that Jed said it, he still asks, "To Alyssa?"

A beat passes. He studies Jed's expression, the flutter of nerves, then watches him shake his head. His voice softens.

"No, that's the funny part," he says, but his smile is even more nervous than the glint in his eyes as he looks at him again. "I don't think I really cared since she never really paid much attention to me anyway. It's like I was trying to prove something to you, which... must have some really weird, messed up logic behind it, because even I don't really get it. I just know I felt like I needed you to see me in some way. Probably makes no sense, right?"

There it is. Kaleb smiles. He can feel the worry coming off of Jed, the need to cover for himself in case, after everything, he says something that just manages to step over a line.

"Nah, I get it," Kaleb says quietly, to his surprise. "I was doing the same. The whole thing turned less into trying to impress Alyssa and more into... well, getting your attention. Good or bad."

Jed just stares at him, eyes wide, and evidently thrown by the confident admission. He sucks in a breath, and Kaleb sees the moment it hits him, spreading through his eyes. The wave of realization comes back around to crash into his own chest one more time as well.

"What does..." Jed hesitates, doubt and wariness sticking through in his voice, "...does that mean...?"

Kaleb's pretty sure he knows the question he's asking. He's been silently asking it himself for two hours, and only come to an answer within the last thirty minutes. He couldn't care less about some dumb species rivalry, and his feelings for Alyssa o ly seemed to present themselves when shr wasn't alone. Because Jed was there with her.

"Uh, well..." Kaleb might be at a loss for the right words for the first time.

It means he's spent a good hour give or take stealing glances at Jed's hand, so close to his own, wondering how different it would feel to hold opposed to it shoving him in a fight. Glancing at his mouth when he smiles, the sight of it digging into his heart like some rabbit burrowing itself a home. Hearing his laugh is another feeling entirely. Just wondering about the idea of him.

Jed's still watching him, waiting with his lips parted the slightest bit though scarcely breathing. As soon as the idea forms in Kaleb's mind, he sees it in Jed's expression as well, the simultaneous decision.

They both lean, slowly, a little uncertain. When their lips meet between, Kaleb knows he was right. The hesitation falls away enough for them to kiss properly, still moving slowly, but with more certainty.

Time already feels like it stopped existing a few conversation topics ago. Kaleb honestly can't say how many seconds tick away before he feels them both pulling back.

Jed's eyes open after Kaleb's. He sees the look in them right away. The glimmer of surprise, but knowing. Understanding, and relieved about this newfound revelation.

It wasn't about proving who was better for Alyssa, or who was the superior species. It was just a way of trying to work out what they were feeling, the emotions getting tangled up and confused with something else.

"Yeah," Jed says softly, almost on an exhale. His gaze is fixed on Kaleb's. "That's... that's what I was thinking. And makes a lot of sense, actually."

Kaleb snorts, and he can't help but huff out a laugh a second later, Jed joining him after a beat.

"If only we'd talked it out like this before the whole sing-off thing," Kaleb jokes.

Jed groans at that. "Oh, no, don't remind me. It's still too fresh. I'm surprised Lizzie didn't kill us."

"There's still a good chance she will," Kaleb says, half-serious.

"Well, I guess our fates are sealed then," Jed plays along, the corners of his mouth turned up in a bright smile, eyes dancing.

Kaleb just smiles back at him. The tiredness may be catching up now. It shows in Jed's gaze as well. Even so, neither of them suggest sleep. They keep talking. The sky slowly lightens outside. All Kaleb is really sure of is that, at some point, he goes for it and slips his hand into Jed's while he's talking. It makes him pause, glancing down, but he recovers quick and just continues on, locking his fingers with Kaleb's.

[rainbowmatic-stumpomatic]

*you're sitting alone in your room, maybe you're working on something for school or job, or maybe you should be listening to music and doing a hobby. Maybe you're even just staring at one of the your walls where you swear the previous night a whole had opened up and the eyes of millions appeared in the darkness.

whatever you're doing you notice a radio somewhere in the room which is funny since you don't want to re-do it like that and even if you do the one you have doesn't look like that. Slowly the radio begins to crackle to life and something clicks in your mind, drawing you in as you hear voices pipe up from the speakers*

Dallon Weekes: hello listeners my name is [REDACTED] but you can call me Dallon Weekes, and I'm here with a new co-host why not introduce yourself

Ryan Seaman: uh, right. I'm um... I'm [REDACTED] oh that's right you can't hear that.... Okay then I'm Ryan Seaman and I'll be the co-host with Dallon for now on here on I Don't Know How Radio

*there is the sound of scuffling and quiet mumbles but sounding like a chorus of voices regardless, your unnerved by this that you still listen intently as a state secrets were being told*

Dallon Weekes: tonight hearing Cain the sky is clearing the star shine like glitter on your old kindergarten project when your teacher made you make constellations. Not sure if anyone remembers Tak four-nine-eight but if you do that means you were in my grade and well maybe we should have told miss Kravitz about what Austin Brown was doing when he went outside the next day

I'm sure some of you may be wondering where [REDACTED] is but rest assured that he is fine. The boss and him disagreed on something and well he's no longer at the radio station at all. You can still find them of course down at the old Cafe near the cemetery to be exact, our Westside cemetery the please don't bring up the radio station. my boss informed me that if you do then his head will explode, which I'm sure just means you're giving me migraine but it would be a shame if you had to trouble the new young couple who moved in to clean it up!

Oh well listen to me going on and on, why did I give Ryan a shot at talking? remember everyone know mean letter sent to the station or else we will find you and I'm sure mr. When's wouldn't have a problem with me asking if I could borrow Bowie for a bit has anyone seen him lately? Such a lovely dog! He's growing again now he's roughly at nine feet and a second head is finally opened its eyes!

*the feed is cut suddenly whatever trance you were in his interrupted but what sounds like screams there static but just as fast as you were throwing your caught again as a radio host coughs*

Dallon Weekes: aha, my apologies, went off topic there. Go ahead Ryan

Ryan Seaman: um, thanks Dallon... So the... The weather this week has been pretty hectic right? I hate to be the cleaners with all those fish and frogs being dropped from the clouds today.... Wait wha.... What that's...that isn't normal

Dallon Weekes: of course it isn't Ryan! that's why you're telling the weather report, to report the strange weather

Ryan Seaman: oh, yeah I guess. right so like I said fish and frogs are raining from the clouds today around seven and didn't stop until ten-thirty. The cleaners had their hands full today because night school got out early-wait night school? What did they get out at-

Dallon Weekes: Ryan focus please

Ryan Seaman: the students are snatching up frogs and throwing them at each other, apparently when frogs make impact they pop into little green cotton balls. Who knew right, you think they were full of blood and guts but apparently these were special cloud frogs

*you notice Ryan son and mechanical then, as if a robot had taken his place momentarily. There is a static again though faint music is heard through it almost like a soft music box with its metallic notes*

Dallon Weekes: that was only had for the weather today, I'd say Ryan too great for his first time wouldn't you all? Anyway on to the news! We've got quite the interesting plethora today folks; like Ryan said some night school students thought it would be fun to throw frogs at each other like water balloons but instead of Gore like one might expect cotton balls dyed neon green fell to the streets. several students have now made themselves Cotton bowl rabbit pets and animal control is scratching their head as to whether they can detain these creatures and if they can even be classified as animals

next we have Cain's annual town meeting and I hope all of you will be willing to come seeing as how it's not only a welcome to Ryan but also to discuss what to do about the town hall infestation. I don't know about you all but the thought of skeletons just walking about is a bit unnerving to me especially since I'd rather not have to awkwardly handsome and back their arm if it falls off. the mayor thinks maybe we could use the old Craven estate to house them until they can find places for themselves, which I think is a nice idea but we have to make sure the floors were secure no one likes following through.

Ryan Seaman: skeletons are just piles of bones though they can't move on their own

Dallon Weekes: *laughs* well of course Ryan! that's why they're ghosts are possessing their skeletons, come on, everyone knows that kind of logic. but Ryan makes a good point if we do decide to send them to the Craven estate I ask all of you here and Cain to please participate and make sure none of them are injured and reduce the piles of bones-oh? Hang on...well hello! We've got a c aller! A little early I admit but alrighty. Hey Ryan, why don't you take it?

Ryan Seaman: yeah okay *a phone line clicks* hey, you're on the air

A female voice, young and probably in middle school: hi I know this is really early for the caller segment- oh and um, welcome to Cain! I think you're doing a really great job so far. anyway I don't know how long you've been here, but there's the cemetery south of town where some of us go to the library nearby and the zombie guy is back

Ryan Seaman: oh uh- first thanks for the compliment but I haven't been in Cain long...I think... so what zombie guy? Oh and who's calling

The caller: my name is Jenna,Jenna Wilkins. I don't know the zombie guys name, I can tell you his hair is green though and he has white eyes. Dallon did a segment on him last week weren't you liste-

Dallon Weekes: thank you for calling it another sighting, Jenna! It is very much appreciated. Can you please tell us what the zombies up to?

Jenna: oh, yeah sure. He's uh.... Well he's just walking like he always is. I mean he waved to me and my friend when we were leaving the library but he's not doing much like always

Dallon Weekes: well it's nice to know he's so friendly! Thank you again for calling in another sighting, Jenna, I hope you have a nice day

Jenna: wait but-

*the call is disconnected is a heavy sigh that clearly means irritation followed by slightly feared whimpering but not from the sigher*

Dallon Weekes: how about we do our caller segment now? however I'm going to put a rule down, don't ask Ryan questions about how long he's been in town. That's quite rude of all of you so I ask that you respect my rule. Ryan I think we have another caller, line four?

Ryan Seaman: hi, you're on the air

The caller: hey Jay Rockport. I don't know what that Jenna girl was talking about but uh, the zombie guy was just outside my work? He always stares about this one window of this abandoned apartment. there's a priest who always hangs around outside there too but the zombie kid just takes off running-and I mean it when I say running, we're lucky he doesn't try biting anyone

Ryan Seaman: but that's kind of impossible don't you think Mr. Rockport? Zombies can't teleport-wait zombies aren't even-

*again there's an explosion of static that makes you jump, what the hell just happened? it doesn't make any sense what you're seeing but the radio looks as if it's glitching and turning into mist all at once. In a hurried tone, you hear the first host again*

Dallon Weekes: thank you all for tuning in! I'm afraid we have to cut the segment short too many callers are causing our signals to ah-malfunction! Yes, a malfunction! tune in tomorrow at the same time as always to hear stories from a town with a modern day Cain

*first you blink, a little confused to be truthful, because what just happened within maybe the last hour? At least it feels like an hour to you. Frowning, you sit up and think you must have just fallen asleep wherever you were. for some reason a part of your mind is telling you to look at a certain area of the room... But for what? There's nothing there, you must just be really tired. So you walk yourself to your room and curl up under the covers, letting sleep slowly blanket you into a dreamless night*

[another-blog-bites-the-dust]

Eternity

Summary: Six of you go to a castle to hunt some ghosts only you get into a bit of bother and a skeptial Brian saves you.

Warnings: lots of mentions of death, swearing, suicide mentioned, slight suggestiveness, some angst, fluffy ending (?😏?), technically breaking and entering which is apparently against the law but you never fuckin saw people/dogs like scooby doo and the gang getting into trouble for that sort of stuff did you now...

A/N: This is actually creeped me out a little because I wrote it in the dark so that was A+ logic. Also Joe/John gives me v strong Shane Madej from Buzzfeed Unsolved vibes idk why but you're gonna see that in this fic. Enjoy! 💖

Brian shut his eyes and let out a sigh "You cannot be serious." He said looking at all the electrical equipment on the table in front of him. "You and Rog actually believe in this rubbish enough to buy all this stuff and this board thing?!" He said, holding up the board that had letters on it.

"It's not just any board Brian- it's a Ouija board! You use it to communicate to the dead!" You grinned. "And Roger isn't the only one who believes in it! John, Freddie and Mary and coming along with us this time! C'mon! Come with us!" You shook him slightly. When Brian first met you- aside from being absolutely amazed by you and your beauty- he had no idea what you and your best friend Roger would have in common- the two of you were complete opposites. What you did have in common shocked Brian- mainly because he thought it was ridiculous.

Ghost hunting.

You had been friends with Roger since he moved to Cornwall. The pair of you first had a paranormal experience while in the school library. The school was used as a hospital during the wars and people did die in it. The pair of you were discussing something when you both saw a chair being dragged, but no one had their hand on it. After the moment of sheer fear, the pair of you were in awe and since that day you had learned all you could about the paranormal from books and newspapers. The two of you went into the spookiest of places to try and find anything paranormal.

"Would it make you happy if I went on this absurd trip to the supposedly haunted graveyard and church in the middle of the night?" Brian asked, leaning back on the sofa and crossing his arms with a small smile on his face. You sat on his lap and he wrapped his arms around your waist while yours wrapped around his neck and played with his hair while nodding with a grin on your face and batting your lashes. Brian couldn't resist you- you knew that. "Alright!" You squealed and peppered kisses on is cheeks "But I'm going to complain the whole time!"

You rolled your eyes "Well, it might just surprise you! In fact, you might even want to tag along to our visit to an abandoned castle at the end of the month!" You kissed him once, then again, then again- only the third time you did it, your lips never left Brian's and he moaned into your mouth.

"I can think of something we can do just now in the dark..." he murmured seductively.

"Oh really...?" You playfully smiled and stood up, pulling Brian with you. The phone rang and you groaned, crashing against Brian's chest. You reached for it but Brian pulled you back, making you giggle. "Stop! Might be important!" You managed to get the phone. "Hey John!" You sat down next to the phone and your brows furrowed. "No you do not need to take a bath in holy water before we head to the graveyard," you looked up to Brian shaking your head with a smile and rolling your eyes. "It's kinda like seance, yes..." you looked up through your lashes to Brian who raised a brow. "Kinda." Brian held out his hand, silently asking you for the phone "Bri wants to talk to you!"

"Hey mate, can we talk about this tomorrow morning? Only I'm trying to get off with my gorgeous girlfriend-"

"BRIAN!" You screamed and giggled, stealing the phone back "Sorry, John! Sorry!" You laughed and tried swatting Brian's roaming hands away from your legs. "We'll see you tomorrow night! Bye!" You hung up and burst into a fit of giggles. "I swear, Brian!" You cupped his face with a huge smile "You better live up to your words!" He bit down on his lip with the corners of his mouth tugging upwards as he picked you up in his arms and carried you to the bedroom.

•••

"Got the EVP?" Roger asked and you nodded. "EMF meter?" He asked and you pulled it out from your backpack to show him. "Alright then!" He capped his hands with a grin and then rubbed them together. "Time to hunt some ghosts!"

You walked beside Mary who seemed genuinely interested in the whole experience. "What is an EVP and EMF?" She asked.

"Well, an EVP stands for 'electronic voice phenomenon' it records and interprets spirt voices. An EMF meter shows us the electric magnetic field. If something gets closer to the EMF meter, the lights light up, the closer the object- the more it lights up and beeps!" You smiled and showed her the little gauge on the piece of equipment. "We also all have our cameras to try and capture any orbs in the graveyard!" She nervously but excitedly grinned and clutched onto your arm. When you arrived at the graveyard you took a few snaps with her and John.

"Oh my god! Look!" He shone the light from his torch on the photo and showed everyone. "There's the little orb dot things!" He ecstatically squeaked.

Brian rolled his eyes with a sigh "That could be anything, John! Flies, little bugs, dust..."

You and Roger shared a glance "Brian's a skeptic..." you uttered.

"Of course he is- it's Brian." Roger retorted back with a smirk. "Let's take a couple more photos before heading inside the church." You went around the place with John and Mary who were loving the whole experience of creeping around in a graveyard in the middle of the night. Once you had taken a few snaps, you all went inside and stood at the end of the alter. You and Roger set up some of the equipment you had brought. He turned on the EVP and another recorder and then you all turned off your torches, being plummeted into darkness. The only source of light was coming from the moonlight that streamed through broken bits of window. "Okay, Freddie, do you want to ask if anyone's here?"

He widely grinned "Alright! Hello there, darlings! How are we tonight?" He called out and created a bit of an echo. You didn't get a reply. "John, do you want to say anything?" Freddie asked him.

John blinked and looked around, he could barely see a thing. "Uh...hey there demons it's me...John Richard Deacon. I'd like to know why you haven't taken me yet." You all raised a brow at him. "I think everyone's looking at me kinda funny just now so it would be good to pick me up or scratch me or slam me into the ceiling- yeah...now would be the best opportunity for that. Do try and kill me."

"John!" Roger hissed "Take this seriously!" John sniggered slightly. "Brian, why don't you ask a question or ask a spirt to do something?"

Brian didn't believe in any of it, but made the effort for you. "Okay...if anyone is here with us, let yourselves be known by knocking twice." Silence. "Y/N, I told you this-"

Knock. Knock.

You heard everyone, including Brian gasp. You gasped yourself with a huge grin on your face. Roger grabbed you and excitedly shook you. Brian went as white as a sheet. Surely there was a logical explanation behind it. "If anyone is there, could you please come closer and give us your name!" You asked and the EMF meter buzzed and two lights flashed, then three. "Do you have a name? How old are you?" You called out. More silence followed and Brian's heartbeat was returning back to normal. That was until you all clearly heard the number seven being said. You glanced to Roger and then to the EMF meter, the lights reached up to five. "What's your name?" You asked again. "Ow! Brian!" You snapped feeling him tightly squeezing your hand "That hurt!"

"What?!" He squeaked out "I didn't touch you!" He soon did touch you- clutched onto you in fact when you all thought you heard the faintest giggle float through the air. "Surely this isn't happening?" He said in a quiet voice.

"Have I summoned a demon?" John didn't actually sound all that worried about if he did summon one or not.

"No," you sighed and grabbed the newspaper clippings from your bag about the church. You shone your torch on them. "Look here! 'Girl, 7, named locally as Janet Riley...tragically passes away in church fire...'" your voice grew quieter and you felt a tear slip down your cheek. "I think it's enough for tonight, Rog." You said with a sinking heart.

"We're actually getting somewhere though, Y/N!" He said, estatically.

"Roger," Your voice was a little shaky "She's just a girl..." you whispered. Brian sighed, placing a hand on Roger's shoulder. Roger knew it was time to call it a night but this had been your first big find in years- and everyone was with the two of you to share the experience. But he understood. You all packed up your things and decided to head home- it was one think contacting the dead, but knowing it was a child always broke your heart.

"Goodbye, spirt!" Mary called out with a small smile on her face "God- that was liberating! My heart is pounding!" You smiled and linked arms with her as you all headed back to the car with everyone.

"Still a skeptic?" You asked Brian back in the car. "How can you explain what just happened?"

Brian had just about regained composure. "The mind is a funny thing, Y/N, and in places like that with stories like the ones in the newspaper- our minds and imaginations run wild! There's always reasoning and a logical explanation behind stuff like this." You disappointedly nodded, you respected and understood his point of view. "But I'll come with you to the castle at the end of the month." You grinned and wrapped your arms around his neck and gave him a hug, your face being engulfed by his curly hair.

"I promise you won't be disappointed!"

•••

"Gilbert castle!" You pointed to it in the distance while driving. "Rog and I have been wanting to come here for years! There's a story behind it! Tell them Roger!"

Roger turned in his seat to face everyone. "There was a man, Jack Gilbert, who lived here and was madly in love with a girl called Elise, she loved him too. His mother disapproved though and when he went off to war she told the girl a few weeks later he had died. Elise was so broken hearted- she cried every night and the mother was so annoyed by it that she locked her in the basement of the castle. She kept crying constantly and the mother left the castle for a while just to get away from the crying. When she returned just before Jack came back- there wasn't any crying. Elise had died in the basement. Jack came home and found out what happened and then he threw himself from the balcony at the very top of the stairs." They all murmured incoherently under their breaths. "His mother saw him flying through the air. She saw him do it. The grief was too much for her and she took her own life too- not in the castle however. She left and went to another family estate in Wales."

"Jesus Christ," Brian uttered and placed his head in his hand. "And we're going here because...?"

"Ghosts!" You and Roger replied at the same time.

"Don't worry Bri," you looked at him via the rearview mirror "I'm sure there will be a logical explanation to everything..." you sarcastically uttered.

"Can I summon a demon again?" John asked.

Roger glared at him "How many times do we have to tell you that you didn't summon a demon?!"

John shook his head with pursed lips "Technically we don't know if it was a demon or not because we didn't hang about for long enough to find out..." he looked out the window. "God, I wish we did." Freddie sent John a concerned glance while Roger rolled his eyes with a sigh. When you pulled up to the castle and distributed equipment to everyone, you all went inside.

It was still just as grand as the day it was abandoned- there was plenty of cobwebs and dust about but all the furniture was still in place. You all fixated your eyes on the high, broken balcony on top of the staircase, they then slowly moved down and stopped at the floor. A chilling reminder of why you were here. "Why don't we split into two groups?" You suggested "I'll go with Brian and John. Rog, you can go with Fred and Mary." They all hummed in agreement and the three of you headed upstairs while the others headed down to the basement. "Look at the art," you whispered and brushed your fingers over the dusty works in the hallway, shining your light over a piece and narrowing your eyes. "Looks like he has your hair, Bri..." you smirked and Brian walked over, letting out a snort of laughter then feeling his stomach drop when he saw the name of the person in the painting.

"Jack Gilbert..." he said in a low tone and sent you a nervous looking gaze before moving on down the hall.

You looked at another piece and John gasped right in your ear, giving you a fright. "Fucking hell, John!" You quietly snapped, clutching on to your chest. "Don't creep up on me like that!"

"That's Elise! She looks just like you, Y/N!" He said, looking between you and the painting.

You rolled your eyes "She looks nothing like me! Think you need to book yourself in for an eye test!" You chuckled. Suddenly all the lights came on and the three of you jumped at the sudden burst of brightness.

"Guys!" Roger shouted from downstairs- you could just hear him. "We found the generator! We got some light!" You turned off your torch.

"I can't believe the electricity is still working in a place like this..." you uttered and kept walking down the hall. You took out your EMF reader but didn't have a reading yet. John wandered into a room with Brian following him. You went into the one just before it. It looked like a bedroom. It was beautifully decorated- nothing looked out of place. It was as if time had stood still. Then you felt a chill down your arms.

Roger, Freddie and Mary had made it to the basement. Mary jiggled the door handle "It's locked," she sighed and folded her arms.

"That's alright," Roger cockily smirked "I have a multipurpose key- one size fits all!"

Freddie furrowed his brow. "Didn't you say that about your bits once?"

The drummer pointed at him "Not the time or the place, Freddie...but yes."

"Where's the key?" Mary asked.

Roger moved his hands up and down his torso. "You're looking at it!" Roger then body slammed against the door a couple of times, grunting. "Jesus...that's a tough door!" He did it a few more times before letting out a loud groan when the lock burst and the door opened. A gust of cool air rushed passed the three of them. "Whoa..." Roger murmured and they all rubbed their arms. "It's freezing down here!"

You turned around quickly hearing breathing and then a name being said. "Hello?" You whispered. "Is anyone there?" You asked glancing to the EMF. The lights were flashing but there wasn't any noise coming from it.

"Elise?" You stood frozen in fear when you turned and saw a tall figure standing in front of you. He almost looked like Brian with his curly hair. "My love..." the figure reached his hand out and brushed his cold, hard fingers against your jaw. You screamed as loud as you possibly could and everyone heard you, jumping on the spot at the terrifying noise. Brian turned to see if you were behind him- he thought you were...you weren't. He looked to John and they both ran to where the noise was coming from.

"Y/N?" He ran towards you just as you fell forward with open eyes- it looked like you were being pulled by thin the air. When you crashed against Brian's body, you snapped back to reality and quickly pulled back.

"Brian?!" His hands were still holding your arms while John was standing by his side watching the whole ordeal. "Wh-where is he? He was right..." you pressed your hand against Brian's chest "Right here..." Brian sighed and shook his head, he knew you were taking the piss- you were a good actor when you wanted to be. Your eyes flickered up to the door and tears began to well in them. The figure was standing by it peering around the frame- he almost looked afraid and a little jealous. "He's right behind you..." you whispered with a tear rolling down your cheek. John was too paralysed with fear to glance behind him whereas Brian was unconvinced and unimpressed with your little act.

"Stop messing about. It was scary when you screamed, I'll give you that, but now-" Brian stopped talking when he heard the floorboard creak and saw a shadow in the window. He looked at you with wide eyes.

"I told you..." you whispered. John scampered out and Brian grabbed your hand, pulling you out of the room. Your hand slipped from his grip and the door slammed shut. "Brian!!" You banged against the door. "Brian!"

"Y/N!" He tried to open it, frantically twisting and turning the doorknob with trembling fingers. "Hold on! Get back from the door!" He tried to knock it down but the door was much harder than it looked.

Roger, Freddie and Mary ran upstairs when they heard the scream. They stopped in their tracks when they noticed a figure standing by the staircase. "Y/N? Where did you find that dress!" Mary laughed at the attire. "We thought you were upstairs with the boys?" She asked before John's hollering caught their attention.

"Guys! Brian needs our help!" He shouted out and the three of them ran upstairs.

"What's the matter?" Freddie asked seeing Brian throw himself against the door.

"It's Y/N, she's locked in the room!" Roger, Freddie and Mary burst out laughing. "What the fuck is so funny?!" Brian snapped and they all abruptly stopped laughing. "She's locked in there!"

"Brian," Roger stepped forward "We've just seen Y/N downstairs barely a minute ago..." Brian stopped slamming against the door. Fear was flowing through everyone's veins. Roger ran up to the door and harshly banged his fist against it. "Y/N? It's Rog! Y/N?!" The panic and worry was evident in his voice. They all heard a loud thud- you had been knocked to the ground by a force that appeared from thin air. You grabbed onto your chest with a groan when you felt a chill run right through your soul. "Fuck!" He uttered "Let's batter this down." He and Brian managed to open the door after six attempts. When they opened the door- you were gone.

"If that wasn't Y/N downstairs...then who was it?" Mary whispered with a trembling lip.

•••

"I am not the person you think I am..." you said while releasing a breath, you were sitting in another part of the castle- it seemed to be a library and it felt like you had floated through the rooms to get there. The figure was looking at you with a fond, yet concerned, smile. "This isn't happening," you sobbed out with tears streaming down your face. The mix of scared yet amazed emotions running through you were overwhelming. "I'm not her...I'm not Elise."

"My love," Jack whispered, you could see a trickle of blood on his pale forehead as he kneeled before you and took your hands. He was frozen and felt stiff. He pulled you off the chair and pushed you forward a little. "Just look at yourself in the mirror..." you looked into the one in front of you with Jack standing behind you, a small smile appearing on your face before it fell. You felt as if you were slipping in and out of your own body. "Now we can finally be together- my mother can't stop us. The dress is there, my love. Let us be together...for the rest of eternity." He slipped his fingers between the gaps of yours- the coldness didn't faze you anymore...it almost felt natural.

"Where the fuck could she have gone, Roger?!" Brian snapped in a state of panic. He was petrified that something terrible had happened. "You know this is all your bloody fault!" He pointed accusingly at Roger.

"My fault?!" Roger pressed his hand against his chest at the incredulous statement. "No way! We are all in this shit storm together! We are all ghost hunting here!" Roger pointed at the group, his blood-drained face reddening a little as he shouted.

"Ghosts don't fucking exist!" Brian yelled. Freddie wrapped a comforting arm around him. "What the hell is happening?!" He groaned into his hands and wiped away the tears. "I just want her back. I want to know she's safe!"

John shook his head with a sigh before a flash of white at the very end of the long hallway captured his attention. "Y/N?" He whispered before realisation dawned on him that the figure he had just seen really was you wearing a wedding dress. "Oh fuck! Y/N! It's Y/N!" He yelled and everyone ran towards you.

"Y/N NO!" Mary screamed seeing you inches away from the ledge of the broken balcony that was leading to the sheer drop below. You found yourself fighting with someone else inside you as you turned around to face everyone.

"Y/N..." Brian whispered out with tears rolling down his cheeks. "Love, what are you doing?"

"Jack..." you said in a voice that wasn't yours. "He's waiting for me...down there." You said and went to move forward again.

"No! No! No!" Roger grabbed you and pulled you back. Brian and John ran down the stairs and froze on the spot seeing what looked like Brian's reflection standing across from them when in fact it was the ghost of Jack Gilbert. "Y/N stop!" Roger snapped and your arms flew all over the place. Roger stumbled back into Freddie while you fell back off the staircase balcony. Your dress made a slight whooshing sound through the air as Mary let out a blood curdling scream while the boys gasped in fear and shock- Brian never. Brian quickly reacted and managed to catch you, falling to the floor with a loud grunt as he did. Everyone ran downstairs, keeping an eye on both you and the ghostly apparition.

"Y/N!" Brian tapped your face as you lay in his lap "Y/N, wake up!" He sobbed, his taps becoming softer. "Don't...don't...do this..." he sobbed out "You don't know how much I love you." His tears fell onto your face and he brushed them away. "Wake up, love..." he whispered.

You gasped and felt your chest rise as you came to and felt the chill leave your soul. "Brian?" You whispered. He happily sobbed and scooped you up, almost squeezing the life out of you with a hug. He pulled back to with a wide smile before looking up behind you, his smile slowly falling. You followed his line of vision and saw two people standing there holding hands and lovingly smiling at each other. A tear slipped down your cheek as you softly grinned at the two of them.

Jack looked down at you sympathetically "I thought you were my Elise..." he said and glanced to the woman beside him before looking back to you. "I am terribly sorry."

"It's alright," you lowly spoke. Roger and John were standing with their jaws wide open and Mary was warily standing behind an amazed Freddie. Brian was still tightly and protectively holding you. "At least you're both together again..."

They both bowed their heads at you ever so slightly. "We thank you for reuniting us." Elise spoke in the softest of voices "And for finally setting me free," she looked to Roger who could only nod with a dry mouth, he was numb with shock and wonder. "Now we can both move on and be together...for the rest of eternity." They fondly smiled at one another before heading down the corridor arm in arm, vanishing into the darkness.

After being frozen on the spot for a few seconds- everyone ran back to the car. Brian had scooped you up in his arms and carried you bridal style- which if you weren't so paralysed with shock from what just happened, you would have laughed at how ironic it was that you were wearing a wedding dress and he was carrying you like that. You all stayed silent for most of the journey back home- each of you processing what just happened in your own way. "Why did she...attach herself to you?" John quietly asked and leaned forward "Was it a demon?"

He looked to you for an answer. "Some ghosts," you emphasised with a small glare "feel they need to posses another persons body in order to continue on. Elise thought by using my body as a vessel, she could get to Jack and be with him but that wasn't the case. It was just a mistake." You thinly smiled.

"A mistake that almost cost you your life!" Brian was holding your hands and still full of worry. "I thought you died," he had tears welling in his eyes. "Please don't hunt ghosts again..."

Roger's eyes flickered to you, he knew you wouldn't pack it in over something as wild as that- in fact it only encouraged you even more to pursue looking for them. "I don't think I could ever do that, Brian." He huffed and Roger smiled. "Oh don't be like that! Can you believe what we just experienced? All of us?! We could do this all the time- together! Don't you want to find more? Don't you want to know what's out there?!" You asked with so much passion in your eyes that it almost made Brian's heart burst. He wasn't sure if it was that passion that was doing it for him or you in a wedding dress but he leaned forward and crashed his lips to yours. Roger let out a long groan at the sight- he always found it weird seeing his two best friends being all lovey-dovey. Brian pulled back and you turned to Mary and Freddie "You guys in?" The nodded with beaming smiles. "I already know your answer, Rog." You smirked and then faced John "What do you say, Deaks?"

"I say this guy is going to finally find a demon!" He pointed his two thumbs at himself and shook them while wiggling his brows with a wide grin.

"Okay..." you trailed off with a cautious smile- Mary narrowed her eyes at John and murmured something to Roger about demonic possession...and if John was showing signs. You turned to Brian again. "Well love, it's just you....you in?" You asked with a hopeful look in your eyes.

He looked at everyone else- they were now staring at him, waiting for an answer. He looked at you and smiled. "Think my days of being skeptical are behind me," he kissed you. "So are we going to a haunted house or getting married first?" He joked with a wink and you giggled. He soon became serious and intertwined his fingers with yours. "Try not to scare me like that again..."

"I'll try," you smiled and kissed him. "Now...I hate to be the one that says: 'I told you so' but...told you ghosts are real." Brian narrowed his eyes at you and playfully jabbed your sides. When you arrived back to your flat in London- everyone stayed the night. They were still in shock. Brian noticed your deep in thought look as you both lay on the bed- John was softly snorning by the foot of it on a blowup mattress. "It's funny how they looked liked us..." you whispered and turned to him. "Do you think-" you began talking but stopped yourself from continuing. Brian encouraged you to carry on. "Do you think it's a sign for us...? Like way forward in the future when we're no longer here?" You whispered with a tear rolling down your cheek.

Brian softly smiled and wiped away your tear. "I think it just goes to show that love like Jack's and Elise's...and ours," he pecked your lips and gently cupped your cheek "Will last for an eternity."

——————————

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[clexa--warrior]

Fear The Walking Dead' continues its losing streak in Sunday night's episode 'Ner Tamid.'

Credit: AMC

Sunday night's episode of Fear The Walking Dead was a little bit better than the rest of this half of the season, and I think I know why: There was no Morgan!s

Morgan and Al are off doing their own thing, and miraculously we didn't hear from either one this week. That's good! Sadly, we also didn't get any Alicia. She remains one of the only characters I still like on this show, though the past few episodes have done their level best to character-assassinate her (she's probably off painting more trees at this point).

The rest of the episode was pretty much about as pointless as the rest of the episodes in Season 5. Charlie "runs away" from the convoy to go find some place for them to stay, so that they're not always on the move. Finding a place to stay is a really good idea. Running off on your own in the zombie apocalypse is stupid beyond all reckoning, and I wish the writers and producers would stop making the characters act like such absolute dunces every week.

It appears the real problem is June, who is apparently in charge of the caravan and its 36 members. She's driving them all hard, not letting them stay in one place long, no rest for the weary and all that jazz. Even John Dorie is like "Hey June, baby, I love you but this is ridiculous," but it falls on deaf ears. I'm not sure why June is acting like this, or why she's suddenly in charge, or why they have a caravan instead of a base to begin with, but that doesn't matter. Fear The Walking Dead just does stuff, and we're just supposed to eat it up without questioning anything.

I think that's the only way people can still enjoy this show--just don't ask any questions, don't think about anything too much, don't expect anything remotely like logic or realism or human nature to figure into it at all.

In any case, Charlie makes yet another new friend while out on her own. This time it's a Jewish Rabbi, Jacob Kessner, who lives all by himself at his old synagogue. All his former flock are now zombies, calling to mind Father Gabriel from The Walking Dead (though Kessner is much less annoying than Gabriel, who I still can't stand). Charlie thinks this would be a good place for the survivors to settle down, but things don't work out. Before the end of the episode, the safe haven is overrun and Kessner is out of a home. Shocking. We've never seen the survivors show up and ruin a good thing before! (That's sarcasm, by the way. Everywhere our heroes go falls apart, from the family on the island to the Mexican villa, to the ranch, to the kids' treehouse this season).

June and Dorie show up and there's some zombie action, but we know nobody is going to actually get killed by a zombie. That hardly ever happens on this show. The last time I can think of it actually happening was when Madison died, but she died offscreen so we didn't even see it. There used to be some great zombie kills in previous seasons, but there's no reason to fear anything in Fear The Walking Dead these days.

That applies to Logan and his group of feckless, toothless bad guys. At one point they chase Sarah and Dwight--who looks ridiculous clean-shaven, though I suppose it's symbolic of his being totally neutered by the do-gooder sickness that's befallen the entire cast--and almost catch them but the tank shows up and saves the day. Of course, why they were so worried and running to begin with is beyond me. Recall last week when Morgan and Al were faced with a dozen of Logan's thugs and nothing happened. They just blocked the road and that's all. Are we supposed to think that this week things are so different that they pose an actual threat now?

Of course, it turns out that the whole thing was just a diversion. Logan wanted to distract the convoy. Apparently he's figured out where the oil fields are and he wanted Morgan's group as far away as possible which, uh, kind of sounds like what he did in the very beginning of this season by having them fly off to the nuclear power plant region. They're running out of ideas so fast it isn't even funny.

Is there even a story here? I mean, there are things that happen I guess, but is there a story? Let's try to parse it all together, shall we?

Season 5 starts with Morgan and most of the crew crash-landing a plane because they thought they were helping someone but it was just Logan tricking them so that he could take over the mill. The first half of the season is spent trying to get a new plane or fix the old plane so they can fly it back. There's also a nuclear power plant that's going to melt down, and we meet a new character, Grace, who is trying to prevent that. Eight episodes are spent on this dual-plot, with Strand and Charlie ultimately saving the day by bringing propellers in a hot air balloon to the heroes who then use their years of airplane mechanic experience to fix the plane and then fly successfully back to their own area of Texas because apparently that region has zero roads leading. It is a mystical island within the state of Texas that can only be reached by air (unless you're Dwight or his wife who apparently both managed just fine on solid ground).

So that's the first half of Season 5. Crash plane, fix plane, fly out. Logan has the mill. Then, bizarrely, at the very end of the first half of the season Logan tries to make a deal with them. This deal is not struck, we discover in the Season 5 midseason premiere, and Logan goes back to working with the thugs. I can't tell if they're working for him or he's working for them, because the show has done such a lousy, inconsistent job at explaining things to us.

Speaking of which, we learn that during the break, during the period of time that occurs off-screen between the two halves of this season, that Morgan has discovered where Polar Bear's oil fields are. And I guess he's also figured out how to refine oil into gasoline. And I guess this is what Logan was after the whole time, but they just neglected to introduce that conflict in any remotely comprehensible way. Now, five episodes into the back half of the season, the entire plot seems to be "Morgan and group go around helping people more while Logan tries to figure out where the oil fields are." Five episodes of filler with virtually nothing of any importance happening. Alicia meets the guy painting on all those trees. Morgan and Grace try and fail to spark a romance. Logan is mad at Morgan but does nothing about it. They film a stupid PSA and put it on VCRs with generators wherever they can so that people know that they're out there trying to help people.

None of this qualifies as a story, at least not really. The story, if it had to be boiled down, would be the conflict between Logan and Morgan's two groups. But that conflict barely exists, as evidenced by the times they've actually encountered one another and done nothing. At least Negan did stuff. At least the Saviors posed a threat, no matter how badly produced Seasons 7 and 8 of The Walking Dead were. At least there was a story.

Here we just have people driving around wasting gas, talking on walkie-talkies, rarely having realistic conversations or actually interesting struggles or conflicts. It's all contrived. You could probably boil down the entire 12 episodes we've seen so far into two and not lose anything.

Just take away the whole entire plane crash plot and have them tricked into leaving the mill. Then have Logan realize what he wanted in the mill wasn't there and go to war with Morgan to get the map to the oil fields. The oil fields themselves would be useless to Morgan since he doesn't know how to refine oil into gasoline, but he knows that Logan is bad news so he keeps that information from him anyways. Have Logan kill some of the good guys, and have that test Morgan's resolve to be a good person. Have Dwight show up as one of Logan's dudes, on the other side of the conflict, and have that make him question whether he's made the right choice.

I mean, I think you could probably get eight episodes out of this conflict, and then you could twist things around for the second half of the season. Morgan could snap again, go full killstreak mode. He and Alicia could break into two different groups and the conflict could continue between them somehow. This is all just spit-balling. The fact is, it would be fairly simple to come up with a better story for Season 5, with better and more natural conflicts. Actually, I'd have introduced Logan as a sympathetic character and had him join the group, had his treachery not manifest until it was too late. Make the betrayal sting.

But this is all fantasy. I want the same kind of tense conflict that drove Season 3, with sympathetic characters on both sides and no easy resolution. But what we're getting is a bunch of badly written filler episodes with no real purpose and an overarching conflict that makes no sense. Meanwhile, we get things like Al leaving all her tapes in a safe and then not bothering to even shut the lock boxes, and that's how Logan discovers the oil fields. We get John Dorie shooting a bullet at a hatchet blade so that it can split in two and kill a pair of approaching zombies. That's the kind of vapid writing this show has now. It's just sad.

Next week, Logan will use the oil fields to wipe out half of all living things in the universe and the week after that Al and June and Daniel will send Skidmark back in time in a time machine they built out of spare plane parts, and Skidmark's job will be to kill Polar Bear before he ever planted the oil seeds that eventually grew into the oil fields, but little do they know that Polar Bear is waiting for them . . . . it's a trap!

I just . . . I can't. I don't know what else to say. What a sad joke Fear has become.