#* &. 𝗼𝗼𝗰 • answered meme.
it was both your weakness and your strength, to always see the best in the people you love. it has gotten you into trouble before, many times. but you never learn. with @exilae, it is harder to shake it off. an entire life living close, a friendship forged with trauma, happiness and history. how can you simply let it all go? still, you cannot ignore the feeling you get in the pit of your stomach / the feeling she is keeping something from you. and you absolutely loathe it, consumed by the need to know everything. things are easier when you are not blindsided, yet people insist on always keeping you in the dark.
at last, a sigh breaks out of pink lips, fingers holding onto your coffee cup. it keeps you grounded, alert. bad things happen when you are not alert. ❝ you have never given me any reason not to see the best of you. but everybody makes mistakes, aria, ❞ voice is quiet, teeth brushing against your bottom lip. ❝ why are you saying that? is something wrong? ❞
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a tag drop to see if i like my new tags !!
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tags : 001 !
◟ ☆ . 𝗼𝗼𝗰 ៸ martian.
◟ ☆ . 𝗼𝗼𝗰 ៸ queued.
◟ ☆ . 𝗼𝗼𝗰 ៸ creations.
◟ ☆ . 𝗼𝗼𝗰 ៸ desired storylines.
◟ ☆ . 𝗼𝗼𝗰 ៸ desired faces.
◟ ☆ . 𝗼𝗼𝗰 ៸ ask memes.
◟ ☆ . 𝗼𝗼𝗰 ៸ answered.
◟ ☆ . 𝗼𝗼𝗰 ៸ psa.
◟ ☆ . 𝗼𝗼𝗰 ៸ playlist.
◟ ☆ . 𝗼𝗼𝗰 ៸ promo. ◟ ☆ . 𝗼𝗼𝗰 ៸ open starter.
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she would recognize his voice anywhere. it did not matter how much time had passed or how old they were, his voice was burned into her memory forever. she supposed that was normal, given how important he had been to her. not the first love, but the one which was supposed to last forever. funny enough, despite the certainty that she would never be able to forget him, jo never thought she would ever see him again. foolish girl, she should have known he would show up right when her scars are healing. it is how her life works, a new heartbreak after the next. not to mention, this had been his home long before it had ever been hers. meredith is here, amelia is here, their kids are here. he is uncle alex and she is still just the outsider / that feeling never quite made so much sense as it does now.
seeing him hurts more than she dares admit. it should not be this hard. after all, josephine has moved on. right? yet she still spent hours of walking around the hospital to avoid him. until they are stuck in an o.r. together and she just knows he wants to talk to her. the thing is, the brunette does not feel the same. he had written his letter and ripped her heart from her chest. he had left to be with his perfect family. hadn’t all that been enough? at the same time, masochist she is, jo wants to know how he is ( if his new family is everything he wished for and more. ) it is the only reason why she stays, chocolate hues drilling a hole into his skull while he waits to operate on the newborn she is about to deliver with carina.
but then the procedures are over and alex starts speaking to her. his words would be romantic had they not been laced with guilt. and jo listens, at first. even in my worst times, you could see the best of me. the words are enough to bring a scoff out of her. she cannot do this. not now. it is not fair. ❝ that was before i knew the worst times would involve you abandoning me, ❞ she does not want to hurt him, not anymore. the woman is just tired of the alex-shaped hole in her chest that never seems to heal completely. she deserves an apology, and he deserves to listen to whatever she has to say about him leaving.
arms wrap across her chest, a childish attempt to guard her heart. seems pointless, when it had been his to break for so long. ❝ what do you want, @mysahs? how is izzie? still in kansas with your children? ❞ she is not going to cry. she refuses to, at least in front of him. yet that does not stop the tears burning in her eyes. ❝ if you are here to explain, you are a few months too late. ❞
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pout settles in ruby lips, arms wrapping across her chest. harley is not in the habit of losing an argument, especially with her friends. call her stubborn, but when she is right? she is right. right now, she might not even remember what started this particular argument with @loyalfault, but she is certain she is right. ❝ that’s not very nice! ❞ the blonde whines, letting out a sigh. ❝ but there is a right answer, you can agree with me. that’s the right answer! ❞
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hands are shaking as allison talks to you, but you do not even notice. emerald hues stare at a blank spot on the wall, yet they are still empty. they have been empty. it is normal now, since that night. this is your new normal. you do not speak, you do not eat, you just... exist. a shadow of your former self. but it is easier that way. it is easier not to think. if you think too much, you will remember that night. you will remember the cold and calling out for jackson and you will remember how scared you were. right now? feeling nothing is better than feeling everything.
for a minute, you sit in quiet before realizing she is waiting for an answer. your best friend. she looks guilty, but you do not know why. she is not the reason for all this. that... monster is. whatever it or he was. ❝ i am okay. ❞ the answer is almost mechanical now, sounds void of any life. but you are trying to do better, to make @burnedhope stop worrying so much. ❝ i just- i think... i am tired. that’s all. ❞
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it made no sense why they were there. jo had received the letter. she had cried, she had mourned, she had missed him... and now he was supposed to stay gone. THEY were both supposed to stay gone. buried deep inside alongside everyone else who had broken her. yet she could not help but laugh at the irony. alex had never been the type to do what he was supposed to ( was that not why she loved him so much? ) but the truth was, she was done with this. the imagining, the hating, the being sad. the woman was just tired of thinking about them, but seeing them? with their perfect little family? it just hurt her all over again. and it... sent her back to a place she did not particularly enjoy.
izzie being nice? it did not help matters. in fact, it only made jo angrier. she did not want to be, wished so hard she could be the kind & bright & @optimst person that izzie had been described as ( and clearly was. ) but that was not who she was / all jo could do was frown and avoid them both. until izzie found her, the words tasting bitter on her tongue as the blonde spoke to her. letting out a sigh, mocha hues fell shut for a second as jo gathered the last bit of courage ( and patience ) she had left. that was when jo looked at the other woman and... GOD, they were so different & contrasting. how could alex have loved them both?
❝ dr. stevens... please don’t act as though you know how this feels. you really fucking don’t. you just... don’t, okay? we don’t have to get along & you don’t have to be nice and sunshine-y and... just please don’t. ❞
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it is not in her nature to do what she is told. quite the opposite, really. maddy perez prides herself in the fact she is an independent and opinionated woman — also a little shit, though that part is not exactly something she has a habit of announcing to the world. truth be said, everyone has already figured it out by now. for however how opinionated she is, maddy is also dramatic and loud. so when @fzzco tells her not to go near someone? it is almost instinctive for maddy to want to defy him & do the exact opposite.
scoff breaks out of ruby lips, mocha hues rolling dramatically. ❝ and who the fuck do you think you are to tell me what to do? you’re not my fucking boyfriend, fez. and even if you were, you still couldn’t tell me what to do, ❞ she hisses, taking steps closer to him as she speaks. but then they stand face to face and there is something about his tone and the way he is looking at her / the way he seems to be breathing heavily. something that tells her he is not playing around & that has maddy dropping the attitude / if only for a moment. ❝ why not? and give me a good reason. “because i said so” doesn’t count. ❞
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this had never been part of her plan. he had never been part of her plan. katherine pierce was someone who never acted without an agenda. seeking shelter in the salvatore household? a calculated choice to investigate a council member. seducing the salvatore brothers? also part of the plan to punish giuseppe, damon an offering for klaus’ ritual. what she did not expect was that she would fall in love with stefan. she was afraid of love. having been running for so long, it should come as no surprise.
katherine did not have a life, she only knew how to survive & there was no room for love in survival. yet stefan @salvatoraes had found a way to crawl under her skin and steal her heart. it was beyond her control, and it had forced her to come up with a new plan. one that involved running from mystic falls and getting him turned so they could be reunited when klaus was no longer a threat. yet the desperation on his voice at the mere idea of her leaving without him surrounded her speechless, even if just for a second.
after that, katherine forced herself to swallow dryly. mocha hues roamed the room to ensure they were alone before taking a step closer to him. ❝ i would never leave you without saying goodbye, ❞ she whispered, gloved hand reaching up to rest on his cheek. ❝ i love you, stefan. i want you by my side wherever i am. but i am not safe here. what if... ❞ the brunette paused. ❝ come with me. i have to leave, but i do not wish to leave you. please. ❞
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it is not in her nature to get angry, yet edwina cannot help the rage which boils inside her. it has been that way ever since the wedding. but as anthony speaks? the raven-haired diamond feels herself scoff as a tiny palm grabs too tightly onto her teacup. ❝ does that mean you think the other person is to blame, lord bridgerton? because she wanted the lie to be true, she should be blamed for believing it? ❞ she retorts, mocha hues finally finding @rcstless‘ figure. ❝ in my opinion, it is still the liar’s fault, especially if he is taking advantage of the other person’s ingenuity. ❞
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ever since anthony, it has been hard to let people in. she is too scared to get hurt, too scared to believe something that is only in her mind. having your heart broken once might be reasonable, but losing yourself to pretty words and nice smiles would make her feel pathetic. it is why edwina is so suspicious and scared of the fluttering butterflies in her stomach whenever she is around prince joshua. a feeling which is all too familiar & terrifying at the same time. yet she cannot help herself, the way she is drawn to him ( even physically so, feet bringing her a few steps closer. )
smiling shyly, edwina dropped her gaze to her hands for a second before focusing on @burygods. ❝ indeed that would be lovely, your royal highness. i would love a husband who would put me first, if only so the feeling would be reciprocated. that is, of course, until the children come, ❞ she whispers quietly, mocha hues twinkling at the thought. for a minute, her mind is filled with images of prince joshua with children and... edwina, breathe. ❝ but you are truly too kind, your highness. i appreciate it, very much so. speaking of, this is a magnificent ball. you and your family have indeed outdone yourselves. ❞
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mocha hues watch the sunset on the horizon, marveled by the different shades of orange and pink that colored the sky. it looks like heaven, which feels appropriate given the bliss that settles in her heart. after everything the sharmas have been through during that season, edwina is happy to have some time for herself. especially now that kate’s wedding is near and she will head to aubrey hall alongside the other bridgertons while anthony and kate travel on their honeymoon. kate and anthony. the idea still feels foreign, yet right. it brings a smile to edwina’s lips, seated by the window until she hears kate come in.
chuckling quietly, she allows her gaze to seek her older sister’s. ❝ you know, didi, being a bride has certainly made you overly emotional, ❞ edwina points out, a smile gracing delicate features as the raven-haired girl gets up to sit down next to @vexdlove. ❝ you are one of mine as well. the most important one too. and i am so happy that you have found happiness, kate. truly. you are... glowing more and more each day. and i am happy because you are happy. meaning you do not have to worry about me and say poetic things to make me feel better, didi. i am fine. truly. i am excited to spend some time reading without worrying so much about balls. did you know i am behind on my reading list? ❞
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you cough loudly, hand resting on your chest. it is just your luck that you had already finished your coffee, otherwise you would have choked at his words. he wants to marry you. the idea seems almost as absurd as it seems unlikely. you thought he understood what you were — friends, acquaintances, lovers. but not a couple, certainly not the type to get married. after all, you had been married & you still carry the consequences of such a choice to this day. your last name, the house you live in, the money with which you buy him gifts. you are a widow & that is precisely why you sought him. but now? hearing @v0ltais profess his feelings? it is clear that it is time to end this before he gets hurt. after all, you might be detached and uninterested in commitment, but you are no monster — you would never willingly break his heart as so many did yours.
for a second, all you can do is look at him. your heart tightens at the idea of never seeing him again. why did he have to utter those words? ❝ braden, babe... ❞ a sigh breaks out of you, emerald hues falling shut as you await for the courage to utter the words. yet you cannot do it. instead, you chuckle quietly as you look at him. ❝ shouldn’t you marry someone your own age? someone who is not a widow? ❞ the question is quiet, fingers running through his hair in an attempt to distract him.
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the words hit too close to home, mocha hues instantly drifting to the other side of the bar where jake is. most of the time amy tries to be discreet and hide her feelings, but not with jonah. jonah understands, after all, having his own problems with his own unrequited crush. truthfully, for a second all she could think of was how he likes an amy and she likes someone whose name starts with a j, but things have changed. they are friends now, funny enough. the type that drink beers together at shaw’s and talk about feelings.
a minute passes & amy realizes she is still quiet and looking at jake, shaking her head before focusing back on @ruggedcountrie. ❝ i know what you mean, ❞ she whispers, taking a sip of her beer before she keeps going. ❝ no one is telling you not to care. you just- you can’t care the way you want to, i guess. which is not easy, i know, but- i don’t know. this is so silly. we are freaking adults, you know? it should not be this hard to deal with feelings for a co-worker. ❞
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one can never survive a war without scars. molly’s might not have been physical, but it did not mean she did carry them. the first war had taken a lot of her. it had taken gideon and fabian and so many friends of hers and arthur. it had taken their innocence too, plagued them with grief and nightmares that would never leave her alone. her children had been mere babies back then, but she already worried. now? molly could not sleep. she was not ready to see young and brilliant wizards and witches die again. of course, it was not yet the time to fight, but molly was no stranger to the darkness which surrounded their every move. the order was reassembling and that meant dark times were coming. she just wished they had all had more time.
it was why hermione’s comment made her smile. one of the brightest witches that molly had ever met, @fraegiles was no fool / she knew what was coming too. yet she seemed too busy bickering with ronald to worry too much about voldemort. it was... perfect & molly prayed they could hold onto those memories forever. their innocence would be precisely what helped them overcome it all in the end ( or what would help them endure it all if... she did not allow herself to finish the thought. ) conjuring up two cups of tea, the redhead sat down by the young witch’s and smiled dearly.
❝ you aren’t wrong, dearest. but sometimes... forgiveness needs to be earned before it can be given. and there is nothing wrong with that. nothing wrong with not being able to forgive certain times too. though i sense that my son only needs to work harder, yes? he has not massively hurt you, has he? ❞
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a ghost. her words make you blink slowly, blue hues still focused on the corner of the room almost as if saying the word is gonna make the ghost come back. it does not. yet you cannot bring yourself to look away. it had been years since the last time you had seen anything like that / years since you had allowed yourself to think back to that place and all the unexplainable things you thought you had seen. the things that had haunted you and nell and luke and your mother. the things steve wrote about. cup of whiskey is brought up to your lips, a long sip taken as an attempt to shove down the memories. it is the easy thing to do / act as though it never happened. but it did happen, did it not? shirley had never seen it and she often acted as though you all had lost your minds but…
no. you are not about to lose it so near nell’s funeral. however selfish her choice to end her life had been? ( and may god have mercy on your soul because you cannot help thinking she is selfish ) eleanor is still your baby sister who is gone. tears glisten in your gaze, the same gaze that has still not left the corner of the room. it is not going to move so soon, not while you are drinking away your sorrows and being haunted by horrific images from your past and that big black empty nothing that almost swallows you whole.
❝ our family is full of ghosts, shirl, ❞ you whisper, a dry chuckle breaking out of your lips. ❝ but no, i didn’t see anything. i’m just thinking of nellie alone in that stupid house. thinking of how she didn’t even give us a chance to help her before… ❞ you trail off, knowing fully well you are the one who is selfish for blaming her. but it is easier this way, easier to blame eleanor than to admit you are the one who is selfish. that you are too detached from the rest of your family to do anything about the darkness you knew was haunting your sister. had you not seen it in her eyes that day at her apartment? had you not felt it? had you not pushed her away out of fear it would haunt you too?
it is only then that you finally look at @v0ltais. ❝ the picture you chose is awful, pick another one, ❞ you add, finishing your drink as you point towards the nell picture in the corner you had been staring at for the past few minutes. the same corner where the ghost had showed up. the same corner that darkness was growing in. ❝ pick another one. ❞
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