#*[ TEXTS. ]

[astramachina]

super low effort costume for last night's Halloween party! 😅 in my defense I didn't know whether or not I'd be able to actually attend until like. three days prior.

we then played the new Observation Duty because it felt appropriate. we didn't win a single round. there were nine of us.

[vitalphenomena]

@id1eyouth // zachary asked: [ TXT ] : do you need comfort, to vent, or a solution?

[ sms: zachkey ] i want everything

[devrim-selvi]

Devrim: Tebrikler Kardeşim (congrats bro) Devrim: Happy for you both.

@kenxmatsui

[greengideon]

Gideon: You given much thought about Thankgiving this year yet? Gideon: Want me to set a plate for you at my place? @aurorabaystarter

[mad3lyncline]

𝑻𝑬𝑿𝑻𝑺 𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑴 𝑴𝒀 𝑭𝑨𝑴𝑰𝑳𝒀 𝑮𝑹𝑶𝑼𝑷 𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑻 . starters from a variety of real texts that have cursed my family group chat .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i didn't see that [ name ] is holding his junk until after i sent the pic

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] just ate some fig newtons , the extra long ones

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] fuck yeah , go give that beer your dick !

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] maybe he'll let you down quicker if you give him an open mouth kiss

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] you'll want to keep the gondola operator alive but everyone else is dispensable

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] we have parked our lard asses under displays for souvenirs and we are both NOT MOVING .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] no more mountains you've lost your mountain privileges

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] we still have our sense of humor , but [ name ] may lose theirs at any moment .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] we are safe . we think . no need to worry . i don't think .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] it's funny now , but i can feel myself getting a bit cranky .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i'm really sick with icantgotowork disease 🦠 it's rough

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] have you guys gotten diarrhea yet ?

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i hear [ name's ] ex is writing a diss track

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] okay getting food bird pooped on me

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i just ate a cake that said 'happy birthday baby jesus'

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] the autism is strong today

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] there will be no butt cakes and please take me off this thread

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i'll start growing my pubes !

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] [ name ] is making us celebrate president's day with a cake

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] my favorite thing is explaining slang that mom will absolutely hate

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] their old dog looked like a cigarette

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] yeah it's really hard being really good looking all the time

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i'm about to be that asshole that brings their leftovers on a plane

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i have to focus on one weird thing a day or i'll die

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] congrats bunghole i'm proud of you 🥰

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] just so you know : penis .

[shilohsharma]

shiloh 📲 mack

shiloh: a tattoo to define the relationship you should be JAILED @mackmontgomery

[cyberneticnightmares]

seeing nowhere near enough willry shenanigans in 70s conversation pits like come on y'all

shit writes/draws itself

[songsun-hee]

Sun-Hee 📱 Leyla

Sun-Hee: Hiiiiii 🥰 ✨ Sun-Hee: how're u & ken ❤️ 🐦 Sun-Hee: did you see the girl i was with at the dance 👀 😙 Sun-Hee: whatcha think tink 🧐 🧚

[demichu]

demi: Truly what kind of fraud establishment are you running at that bar of yours? demi: I had to ask an absurdly tall man to remake my martini twice @borawinters

[astramachina]

you ever read a fic so good for the first time in ages that you go into a fugue state.

[vitalphenomena]

@hypocratic

[ sms: Dr. Frederick Chilton ] I need you at the hotel. [ sms: Dr. Frederick Chilton ] Now.

[devrim-selvi]

Devrim 📱 Ken

Devrim: I need to buy a house asap. Devrim: Today! Devrim: Know any realtors? Devrim: Or movers? Devrim: You like your neighborhood? Devrim: I've got to move Sav and Serra out of that haunted house. Devrim: What's up with that, anyway? Devrim: They don't condemn buildings in Lunar Cove? Devrim: This is Devrim, by the way. Devrim: I had to get a new phone and number. Devrim: Wanna get lunch?

[privpari]

➝ cj + eva

cj: hey there, sorry to bother you. cj: my name is cj, i don't think you have my number and i definitely had to go through the staff directory to find yours BUT cj: were you still interested in working out together?

@anderseva

[mad3lyncline]

𝑻𝑬𝑿𝑻𝑺 𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑴 𝑴𝒀 𝑭𝑨𝑴𝑰𝑳𝒀 𝑮𝑹𝑶𝑼𝑷 𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑻 – 𝑷𝑨𝑹𝑻 𝑻𝑾𝑶 . more starters from a variety of real texts that have cursed my family group chat . adjust pronouns as necessary !

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i want you all to know that i just pooped .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] [ name ] is loving swim lessons , all the instructors wear thongs lol

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] that's fucking insane lmao

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] make sure you tell him no dick slapping anyone this year

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] alexa play slipping through my fingers by abba 😭

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] they basically went ' sometimes it be like that , don't take too much advil ' so i'm fucked .

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] [ name ] wants us to call him michael jackson from now on

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i feel nothing

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i told a few of my teachers in high school that i was your sister and their eyes would glaze over like they were remembering 'nam

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i think i like sports now

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] did you just have a stroke

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i don't want anything to do with [ name ] 's ass

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] both a solid case for gun control AND the only way i'd consider golf exciting

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] this is worse than the day i found out santa wasn't real

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] bro ur 0 for 2 and the first time i didn't even know what i was doing

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] ur ass is grass

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] what a dapper young lad

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] was everyone's cats glad to see them ?

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] mom's mad at me lmao

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] i know way too much about the titanic and way too little about social interaction

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] he would put on the scream costume and construct my earliest traumatic formative memories

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] imagine if you were literate

[ 𝒔𝒎𝒔 📲 ] this thread has taken a turn for the worse

[greengideon]

Gideon: You heading out of town for the holiday? Gideon: You should probably try to make a meeting before you do. @xaviermattthews