#*【 ☂ ┊ ❛ Ex-squeeze me? ❜ 】 ➤ Queue

[theseancekid]

valentine’s cliches

how many of the following does your muse appreciate on valentine’s day? bold for yes, strike for no, italicize for take it or leave it.

sexy lingerie l candy hearts l a huge bouquet of flowers l a single red rose l romantic dinner at home l romantic dinner at a restaurant l valentine cards l chocolate boxes l candles l rose petals l sex dice l sex cheques l wine l netflix & chill l romantic music l jewelry l cuddly toys l balloons l love notes l romantic movies l marriage proposals l perfume l cologne l chocolate covered strawberries l feeding each other l eating off of each other l day trip l weekend away l naughty texts l sappy social media posts l sharing a bath l sharing a jacuzzi l handmade gifts

tagged by: @tempportal​ hehe ty <3

tagging: @downpaths, @cxstae​, @murdcck​, 

[theseancekid]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE WORLD’S FUNKIEST HUMAN OUIJA BOARD

[theseancekid]

super mini hiatus notice! I won’t be here for the next two weeks bc things are getting ~hectic~

[theseancekid]

CHARACTER TRAITS --- REPOST, DON’T REBLOG!

FLAWS.

moody |  short-tempered  |  emotionally unstable  |  whiny  |  controlling  |  conceited  |  possessive  |  paranoid  |  lies  |  impatient  |  cowardly  |  bitter  |  selfish  |  power-hungry  |  greedy  |  lazy  |  judgmental  |  forgetful  |  impulsive  |  spiteful  |  stubborn  |  sadistic  |  masochistic  |  petty  |  unlucky  |  absent-minded  |  abusive  |  addict  |  aggressive  |  childish  |  callous  |  clingy  |  delusional  |  cocky  |  competitive  |  corrupt  |  cynical  |  cruel  |  depressed  |  deranged  |  egotistical  |  envious  |  insecure  |  insensitive  |  lustful  |  delinquent  |  guilt complex  |  reclusive  |  reckless  |  nervous  |  oversensitive  |  rebellious

STRENGTHS.

honest  |  trustworthy  |  thoughtful  |  caring  |  brave  |  patient  |  selfless  |  ambitious  |  tolerant  |  lucky  |  intelligent  |  confident  |  focused  |  humble  |  generous  |  merciful  |  observant  |  wise  |  clever  |  charming  |  cheerful  |  optimistic  |  decisive  |  adaptive  |  calm  |  protective  |  proud  |  diligent  |  considerate  |  compassionate  |  good sportsmanship  |  friendly  |  empathetic  |  passionate  |  reliable  |  resourceful |  sensible  |  sincere  |  witty  |  funny

SKILLS & HOBBIES.

art  |  acting  |  astronomy  |  animals  |  archery  |  sports  |  baking  |  beachcombing  |  belly dancing  |  bird watching  |  blacksmithing  |  boating  |  calligraphy  |  camping  |  candle making  | casino gambling |  ceramics  |  racing  |  chess  |  music  |  cooking  |  crochet  |  weaving  |  exercise  |  swordplay  |  fishing  |  gardening  |  ghost hunting  |  ice skating  |  magic  |  engineering  |  building  |  inventing  |  leather-working  |  martial arts  |  meditation  |  origami  |  parkour  |  people watching  |  swimming  |  puppetry  |  pyrotechnics  |  quilting  |  reading  |  collecting  |  shopping  |  socializing  |  storytelling  |  writing  |  traveling  |  exotic dancing  |  minor potion brewing  |  tricks & trinkets  |  crow keeping

tagged by: my love @tempportal​

tagging: @fightknife, @utmalumpluvia, @murdcck​, @paradoxcd​, @hasknife​, @cxstae​

[theseancekid]

GET TO KNOW YOUR WRITING PARTNER! (repost, don’t reblog!)

NAME? Ash

PRONOUNS? She/her

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION? literally whatever lmao! im’s, discord, messenger pigeon, you name it

NAME OF MUSES? Klaus (and also Louis de Pointe du Lac at @sangcreole!)

EXPERIENCE / HOW LONG? I think 11 years now?? I first started during my freshman year of high school...so y’all can do the math lmao

BEST EXPERIENCE? Oh gosh, there are so many, I’ve met so many lovely people through tumblr rp!! I think one of the highlights was meeting a friend through my Louis blog, who then asked me to start a Vampire Chronicles podcast that kind of blew up, so that was really wild?? The vampire chronicles rpc really popped off in like 2017-2019 so that was really fun to like have a podcast that people actually listened to, and then have people follow my blog and send in questions. 

RP PET PEEVES? I don’t think I have any real pet peeves...I mean, I think the biggest thing that makes it harder for me to write with people is if we have a thread together and my partner doesn’t do anything to forward the plot. Like, I know sometimes in fluffier plots, there’s not much to move forward, but if i’m having to carry the entire conversation then it doesn’t feel like there’s much point to the thread y’know?

MUSE PREFERENCES FOR ANGST / FLUFF / SMUT? I think all 3 have their merits! I tend to gravitate towards angst just because...klaus has A LOT of baggage to unpack and he’s one of those characters who is always teetering on the edge, always just shy of falling apart, so there’s a lot of fun tension to play around with there. Fluff threads are sometimes harder if there’s nothing propelling the plot forward but listen Klaus deserves so much love and i want to give that to him. in fact, a lot of my fluff threads end up turning angsty, or vice versa, because klaus just doesn’t know how to be loved or how to be soft, so it’s really great to explore that. and as for smut...i mean, it’s kind of a given with klaus that things will get a bit naughty LOL. i’m not a huge fan of writing extremely gratuitous threads unless there’s like...an emotional or dramatic tie-in, if that makes sense. like, i don’t like just writing sex for the sake of sex, but i like the weird, funny, angsty, intimate emotions surrounding it. i really LOVE exploring characters’ relationships with intimacy, so yes, this blog will occasionally get smutty

PLOTS OR MEMES? oh my god, MEMES PLEASE lmfao i’m so bad at plotting!!! my social energy is extremely limited and while I love gushing about klaus, it’s hard for me to like commit to things and plan things out. I definitely prefer memes because they give me a general direction, but also give me the freedom to completely improvise.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES? I have a hard time limiting myself with short replies lmao listen klaus is an agent of chaos so i feel like all my replies kind of go off the rails with him. there’s nothing wrong with short replies but like...i will gladly take all the content i can get with my rp partners!!! i swear, y’all are so talented, you could write me a novel and i would obsess over every single word.

BEST TIME TO WRITE? deadass i’ve conditioned myself so that i physically CANNOT write any earlier than 11pm. i’m usually lurking on this blog in the evening, but the actual writing doesn’t get done until 11pm-1am lmao

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE? I used to think Klaus and I were total opposites just on the basis that he’s an absolute extrovert party animal and i am a textbook introvert nerd, but there are definitely a lot of similarities between us. On a surface level, my wardrobe isn’t all that different from Klaus’— I wear skinny jeans and converse sneakers every goddamn day of my life and I would absolutely wear crop tops if it was work appropriate LOL. But beyond that, I think we both have a deeply sensitive nature. I am...too empathetic for my own good, but I’m also extremely good at hiding my emotions when I want to (god, I’m the most Gemini gemini you’ll ever meet) so I’ll always relate to that side of Klaus lmao

Tagged by: the lovely @tempportal Tagging: @littleshcp @downpaths @murdcck @nofinalgirl @fightknife

[theseancekid]

absolutely OBSESSED with the way klaus eats like has anyone else noticed how weirdly delicate he is??? in s3 ep2 when they’re at breakfast he’s literally tearing little bits of toast off instead of biting the toast directly....and in ep1 he keeps scolding diego and luther for eating like barn animals asdfhgjskfn i swear klaus eats like a peckish little bird and i simply adore him

[theseancekid]

hi friends, just popping in with a few reminders of some of my most important rules (not as a callout, but just a refresher, because i know after reading so many mutuals’ rules, i sometimes forget things)

please never assume klaus’ sobriety (or lack thereof) before i’ve had a chance to establish that myself. if i’m not clear about klaus’ sobriety status in a thread, please feel free to dm me and i’ll let you know what i’m thinking! but please don’t just start threads with “clearly klaus was drunk” or stuff like that.

this blog is CANON-DIVERGENT. s2? we don’t know her. i’ve got a s2 au verse written up here if you’d like to give it a gander, but cult shenanigans are a no go on this blog. i’m still on the fence about s3, but a good rule of thumb on this blog is that i’m basing everything off of s1 unless otherwise specified

klaus is queer as fuck and unapologetic about it. as such, i really don’t like writing any threads centering on queer angst or overcoming homophobia. klaus, as a character, is a celebration of queer joy :)

[theseancekid]

@eidetic187​ sent: “Something’s up with you, and I’m not letting you go until you tell me what it is.”

     “Oh, you got nooooo idea, buddy.” He laughs and it hurts his whole body, like he somehow forgot his bones existed but now he can feel every single one of them rattling around in his tattered up meatsuit and it aches. He snorts into his half-empty bottle of vodka before reluctantly tipping his head back and taking another swig, and perhaps someone with his stamina ought to be used to the acrid burning by now, but he still makes a face, all twisted and shriveled, as it burns a trail down his throat, blooming eventually into a wonderful warm light-headedness that makes him audibly swoon. 

    Just a few more drinks, maybe a tab or two, and then he’ll hit his sweet spot— that wonderfully quiet, blissfully ghost-free sweet spot. But right now he’s...well, he’s not doing so hot. Three days with no sleep and he’s looking like a goddamn sewer rat and maybe, just maybe, that’s why he’d come to Spencer in the first place, because the shelters and the clinics are never overjoyed to see someone like him but Spencer never seems to mind and Klaus can’t help but laugh— actually laugh, out loud— as he catches the look on the other man’s face because Christ, it actually looks like he cares!

     It’s...it’s disarming, actually, to have someone look at him like that. And, see, this is always the problem, because he’s fucking PINNED now between a rock and a piece of shit (is that how the saying goes? fuck. he can’t remember). Point being: the whole lying thing is a helluva lot harder when you’re doing it to someone who cares for you. It is also, however, a safer bet than telling the truth about the man in the corner with half his brains leaking out of his skull because Klaus has a tendency to say a lot of things when he’s fucked up, so how could he ever expect to be taken seriously?!

     “Don’t worry about it. Just need some rest.” He tries to shuffle past towards the door but suddenly there is a very determined looking detective in his path and Klaus left huffing and stomping like a child.

     “FINE-UH!” He glances back to the corner and fuck, there’s three of ‘em now, all covered in gnarly blood, but he can still feel Spencer’s expectant gaze boring into him and so he takes another swig for courage, lets the booze burn it’s way through him as he picks his words carefully from the very limited drunk/sleep-deprived vocabulary.

     “You wanna know what my problem is? You got three assholes lurking by the bookshelf with their brains blown out— well, one of ‘em has his brains blown out, the other two look like they got fucked up by a kitchen knife. But what do you mean, Klaus? Ghosts aren’t real, Klaus. You’re crazy, Klaus! Yeah I know I’m fuckin’ crazy, okay, I know I shouldn’t even be upright after all the shit I just put in my body but they— they keep fuckin’ following me and looking at me and it makes me wanna tear my skin off and I need you to believe me, okay, I can prove it! I swear, I just— I NEED to be fucked up right now and I don’t need a babysitter or a psycho-analyst, okay, so if you just let me go I’ll be on my merry way.”

[theseancekid]

so ON THE TOPIC OF KLAUS’ CHILDHOOD TRAUMA

I think if anything, those notes really solidify for me the fact that the mausoleum was not only mentally harmful, but it was PHYSICALLY harmful as well. we know from those notes that klaus was so desperate to escape that he tried physically squeezing himself through the iron barred gates. we also know from season 3 that he literally DIED in the mausoleum (probably several times). Given that it’s outside, I assume he died of hypothermia/exposure, though klaus also mentions waking up in a pool of his own vomit which can mean any number of things. 

so anyway this is just a long-winded way of me reminding y’all that MY klaus has permanent scarring on his hands from years spent clawing, banging, and scraping against the mausoleum stone. it’s not like super noticeable (mostly just the skin around his knuckles is rough and a bit raised), but definitely anyone taking the time to hold his hand would notice. 

[theseancekid]

@littleshcp​ sent: “Did you actually walk all the way here?” - viktor

     “Huh? Oh, uh...yeah. I mean, it’s not that far. I’m good at walking.” Bony shoulders are raised and dropped, shaking his entire frame as he wanders through the doorway. It’s been a while since he’s been to Viktor’s place— most of the time he forgets they’re even in the same city, which honestly might’ve been what his brother wanted in the first place, even if he’d never admit it out loud. 

     It was a long walk to get here (at least, it felt long with the freezing wind at two in the morning and the additional factor of him being high out of his mind) but he didn’t really mind it. Viktor’s place is bigger than Diego’s, anyway— plus, it doesn’t smell like sweat and fragile male egos. Still, he’s well aware that none of his siblings are exactly thrilled by his presence these days (that’s why he’s here in the first place, obviously. Diego’s mad at him and the shelters won’t take him when he’s this fucked up and even if he wanted to check himself into a clinic, he doesn’t even have enough money for the bus to get there in the first place, and he’s too tired to find some sexy stranger to go home with). 

     “Sorry, V, I’ll just be one night, I’ll take the couch, you won’t even hear me, I sw— did my shoes fly away again?” He stops dead in his tracks, stares down at his bare feet now curling beneath him on the hardwood floor. It’s surprisingly hard to keep track of his shoes when he’s high— for some reason his feet always get a bit too claustrophobic in them. Whipping back around towards his brother, he opens his mouth to speak once more, but lets out a barking “AHA!” once he spots his shoes in the doorway. He must’ve taken them off before he came in. Mystery solved!

     “Anyway,,,” he exhales. “Just pretend I’m not here. Except maybe get me a blanket and some chocolate milk first, and then you can pretend.”

[theseancekid]

@dvarapala​ sent: “Listen, I’d do anything for you, honest. But I’m not going after that bug, you’re on your own. Don’t die!”

     “Don’t be such a baby, it can’t be that bi— OH MY GOD!” He all but squeals as he turns to face the world’s most menacing cockroach, staring up at him with those beady little eyes from its corner across the room. Okay, so maybe it is that big. He’s grown up beside Eldritch monsters ripping out from his brother’s stomach and somehow this fucking roach is taking the cake for grossest thing Klaus has ever seen.

     “Why do I have to— can’t you, like, send it to another dimension or something? Realm of the cockroaches or some shit? I’m not— AHHH, FUCK okay, okayokayokayokayokay just stay— stay CALM!” The bug begins to skid across the floor, which means its Klaus’ cue to get off of said floor and hop onto the nearest piece of furniture, which is precarious under even the best of circumstances given his lack of balance. Sweaty palms wipe against the matted fur of his coat as he desperately searches the room for any kind of receptacle. 

     (He knows he should kill it. There’s no way he’ll be able to trap it and ew he just needs it gone, asap! But unfortunately Klaus Hargreeves has a very strict no-killing policy. Even if the squirmy little bastards deserve it.)

     Grabbing a cup and nearby pad of paper, he sends a quick prayer to whatever cruel God put him in this fucked-up situation where he is somehow the adult. The roach is still making its way across the floor, but there’s a moment, right as his bare feet land on the hardwood flooring, that it stops in its tracks. He half expects a tumbleweed to breeze across the sudden stand-off. Slowly, he approaches on gentle footsteps, kneeling with the outstretched paper as the other hand remains poised and ready to strike with the cup. 

     What happens next is all too quick— suddenly the damn thing is sprouting WINGS and launching itself at Klaus and he’s not sure if the piercing shriek shattering his ears belongs to himself or Udyati, but the damn cup is useless in the face of this roach’s guerrilla attack so it’s on to Plan B, which is much more simple: RUN. 

     He grabs Udyati’s arm and yanks her away, towing her behind him as he makes a beeline for the bathroom and slams the door behind them. 

     “Well...that went just about exactly as I thought it would. On a scale of one to ten, how attached are you to this house? Like, what if we just burnt the sucker, y’know?”