somethingsupwithdrac · 2 years ago
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24th May Huzzah! A message! From our dear Lucy! You know what that means, Tumblr Book Club friends? IT’S TIME TO MEET THE LUCY WESTENRA BOYFRIEND CLUB YESSS
Today we have an opening from Lucy thanking Mina for her letter and spilling the tea about her THREE suitors!
LOL “Don’t tell the girls, you know they’ll be babies about it because I have a whole squad of eligible men begging for my hand in marriage and they don’t. Vanity, amirite?”
Again with the secrets, Lucy. “Don’t  tell anybody but Jon, because I know you’re going to, I would totally spill the beans to Arthur if our positions were reversed, but I have a BOYFRIEND CLUB and I need to tell you ALL ABOUT THEM”
First we have Jack Seward, Asylum Guy and OG podcaster, who is is strong of jaw and good of forehead. So much for that “oh he’d be perfect for you if not for that pesky fiance, lol" thing. I know that “cool" here refers to being calm and in control of oneself, but it’s much funnier if I take that to mean “OMG, Mina, this man is the biggest most awkward dork of a man, he almost sat on his hat and then sat there fiddling with a lancet like a weirdo until I wanted to scream, lmao"
Awkward boyfriend pitch time! “I love u and I swear I will make you so happy, I will be so sad if u do not love me back dear Lucy.” (I make fun of this because to modern eyes it’s a wee bit niceguy, but I know that it’s meant to be sincere, and it’s all honestly kind of sad.) And then poor conflicted Lucy having to reject him and the very noble “I want you to be happy and if all I can have is your friendship, I will be the best friend I can” speech, which, honestly? Sweet as hell, you get a point, Mr. Seward. (Which is perhaps the only point I am willing to award you for anything in this novel.)
This whole thing with Lucy having a good cry over having to hurt him by rejecting him is actually pretty sad and I just want the Lucy Westenra Boyfriend Club to pull itself together already. Later, though.
And  now, introducing suitor number two, MISTER QUINCEY P. MORRIS, AMERICAN COWBOY FROM TEXAS. He absolutely definitely speaks like a real authentic Texan and Bram Stoker absolutely definitely had spoken to Americans before writing this man’s character. (I snark, but only because I love Quincey as a character.) Quincey is an absolute gem of a man who knows how to sweet talk a girl and is 100% the guy this was made for:
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He is young and fresh faced and charming, and ALSO knows how to take rejection gracefully, which puts him miles above at least 75% of modern dude characters. Lucy is like, “alas, my totally hot and very eligible American suitor, as I told Mr. Seward, I am in love with Arthur already” with genuine regret, and poor sweet Quincey is just
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‘I understand little darlin’, I love you and want the best for you and we can still be friends, because friendship is valuable too.’ You also get a point, Mr. Morris. YEEHAW.
And then he joins Lucy’s Boyfriend Club with Arthur and Jack because Lucy Westenra (I keep typing Lucky, lol) is a damn smart woman and she is going to have all the boyfriends she wants.
Last, of course, is Arthur, who is...Arthur. Curly of hair and kind of heart, already engaged, betrothed, and affianced to our dear Lucy. Does this make him president of the Boyfriend Club? IDK, maybe?
“Why can’t they let a girl marry three men, or as many as want her, and save all this trouble?”
YOU DON’T NEED MARRIAGE, GIRL, YOU JUST GO FORM THAT POLYCULE AND GET ALL OF THOSE VERY HANDSOME AND ELIGIBLE MEN.
(Sidenote: I love ‘I know what I would do...no I don’t’ and ‘A man always finds a girl alone...no he doesn’t’. It’s such stream of consciousness writing and I love that about Lucy.)
I cannot WAIT to see our friend Mina’s response to this. I know I am absolutely bursting to hear more about the Boyfriend Club.
(Sidenote number two: JFC, talk about mood whiplash. We go from Jonathan being in several flavours of mortal peril with a definite end date for his life to Mina and Lucy having a grand time talking about Boyfriend Club. It’s jarring, and it’s meant to be, and also, I think, necessary for keeping the tension up.)
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