#-good reason' and Forever laughing and saying 'That is the funny part Philza. I never agreed to anything!!'

[hermits-that-craft]

Marionette Roulette - Chapter One

TW: graphic descriptions of death, referenced child abuse, suicidal ideation, graphic descriptions of ways to attempt suicide.

link to ao3 in the first reblog

“We will be dead before we get to the portal.” Tubbo says softly. “We can’t go that way, we don’t have pickaxes. Eh, it’s fine.” Tommy turns away, dread settling in his chest, an old friend. “We had some - oh well, there goes our lift out.”

Dream had shot the button to the lift, and the two teenagers watched in resigned horror as the only plausible escape slowly lifted itself up. 

“And yeah, that was the only other option. I-yeah. It’s over.” Tubbo stares at the roof, Tommy watching him with grief filled eyes. “We had some laughs. It was fun, you know? All good things must come to an end eventually.”

“No but-” Tommy pleads with Tubbo, grief filling his lungs, drowning him as though it were a sea.

“I just didn’t think this would be my coming to an end.” Tubbo’s eyes are filled with resignation, looking far older than any seventeen year old should have to do. Desperation makes air in Tommy’s lungs as he looks at his best friend.

“What am I without you?” The question falls from Tommy’s mouth without Tommy meaning to let it slip.

“Yourself.” Tubbo says, a sad smile on his face. Tommy has to look away, away from the kind boy with the bees who helped him with maths questions when they were younger. Away from the boy in the meadow who would sit with him when home was too much. Away from the teen who came and distracted Wilbur when he got violent in Pogtopia. Away from the teen who protected him from his brothers when they were mad. Tommy can’t break down now, not while Dream watches, not when Tubbo might die. Tommy has to stay strong for Tubbo. Tubbo needs him now.

“So are you really-” Tommy swallows, looking back at Tubbo with a heavy heart. “Are you accepting this?”

“Yeah, it’s alright. It’s alright.” Tubbo stops talking to Tommy, almost as though he was talking to himself.  

“Are you going to be okay?”

“It was fun, we said our goodbyes already, at the start.” Tubbo reminds Tommy, though its painfully obvious that this isn’t a conversation that Tubbo thought he would have. 

“Yeah but we were optimistic!” Tommy protests, and Tubbo laughs. “This isn’t- this isn’t what-”

“Well, you know, you get backed into a corner. This is-” Tubbo cuts himself off. “He describes me as a pawn. This is checkmate. This is it. This is the end, I suggest you resign.”

Tommy stares at Tubbo with hurt in his eyes, trying desperately to ignore the glint of Dream’s enchanted axe. He can’t - he won’t accept this.

“Tubbo.” Tommy swallows. “Even though for this entire server, I have always regarded you as- as my, as my sidekick and the character- Really Tubbo, I was- I was your sidekick. Please don’t go.” His voice wavers as tears begin to well up in his eyes.

“No, it’s fine.” Tubbo walks towards Dream, and Tommy collapses to his knees, holding his arms. 

“No, no, no.” Tommy pleads, barely containing his desperation. 

“It’s about time, anyway.” Tubbo smiles at Tommy. 

“Say your goodbyes.” Dream says, and Tommy gets up on shaking legs, running towards his best friend. They hug, a long moment where tears and mumbled comfort is all that is exchanged. Then, Tubbo pulls himself out of Tommy’s grasp, walking over to Dream.

Tommy stares at the nether portal, begging it to let someone through. Someone, anyone. Everyone on the server, or even just Punz. Someone to save them, to rescue Tubbo and let Tommy have his best friend again.

But nobody came.

Not as the axe made it’s home in Tubbo’s chest. Not as Tommy wails, screaming for his best friend to wake up. Not as Dream laughs as Tommy tries desperately to save the teen. Not as Tubbo smiles and uses his last moments to brush some tears from Tommy’s eyes.

“It doesn’t hurt.” Tubbo promises Tommy. “I don’t feel any pain. Nothing can hurt me now, Tommy. Don’t worry. I love you man, you’re my best friend.”

“I love you too, Tubbo. Don’t go.” Tommy sobs into his best friend's chest. “Please don’t go.” Tubbo smiles at Tommy, exhaling a shaky breath as he shuts his eyes.

And he doesn’t inhale again. 

Tommy screams, wailing as though his heart was torn from his chest. Dream walks towards him, trying to pull Tommy away, but Tommy doesn’t let Tubbo go. As though he can’t let Tubbo go, as though the dead teen is a part of him.

“No! No Tubbo!” Tommy yells, struggling in Dream's arms. “Tubbo wake up! Tubbo wake up this isn’t funny! Wake up!”

Tommy barely notices Dream’s sigh as he’s let go, still wailing. He’s barely paying attention as Dream walks behind him, holding the bloodied axe in his hands. He doesn’t care as it’s lifted above his head. 

However, he notices the pain that blooms in his head as he is hit, and the world goes black.

----

Tommy wakes up, bleary eyed and tired, sleep still singing its siren call to him. He can’t fall back asleep, as much as he may long to. A deep sadness sets in his heart, though Tommy can’t quite remember why it’s there. All he wants to do is sleep, to be warm in his dreams again. Why is it so cold here? Where even is ‘here’?

He looks around, a sinking feeling settling in his chest. An obsidian room, with a toilet, basin, chest and a lectern with a book in it. He sits on a bed, but gets the feeling that it was not originally supposed to be in the room. The items are bolted to the ground, except for the bed. A clock ticks on the wall, telling Tommy that it’s evening - though not the date.

Lava bubbles, and Tommy realises with growing horror that he cannot get out of this place. Wherever this place is. Nothing in this room has let him know where he is. More questions grow in his head, but he doesn’t voice them. What happened, how did he get here?

Tommy shuts his eyes and leans against the wall, trying to remember what happened. The threat to his discs. Seeing everyone along the prime path. Talking to everyone, trying not to let them know what Tubbo and he were doing. The trip. The goodbyes, jokingly exchanged. The fight. The surrender. Tubbo’s final death.

Tubbo’s final death.

Tommy wails again, a haunting melody of grief and anger. Tubbo is dead. Not coming back. Never coming back. Stuck with Wilbur and Schlatt in the afterlife - unless heaven truly does exist, in which case Tubbo is the only person on the server worthy of that place.

Sleep gives her sirens call to the lava, and Tommy watches it bubble in fascination. It’s as though he’s in exile again, however he knows that Tubbo won’t be waiting for him outside. Tommy doesn’t stand, but he reaches out to the lava. His hand doesn’t get close to the lava, but the heat from the molten rock hits his hand, a comforting hand that pulls him towards it.

He’d be with Tubbo if he enters the lava.

“Tommy, don’t you dare take a step towards that lava.” Dream’s voice echoes in Tommy’s small room, and a netherite wall is pushed up before he can move towards it. “It’s not your time to die.”

Tommy doesn’t say anything in response. He can’t talk, all that will happen is a wail if he tries. Tubbo is gone. Tommy doesn’t say anything as Dream steps out from the lava, orange potion particles floating off him. Fire resistance.

“Now, Tommy, I need to establish some rules.” Dream says, and Tommy just stares at the lava blankly. Why should he care about the rules? Tubbo is dead. There's no point in following the rules if he will only see Tubbo in death.

Tommy’s head jerks to the side as pain blooms in his cheek. Dream stands between him and the lava, and his hand rests in the air. Tommy blinks a few times, his hand moving to his cheek slowly. Dream sighs, forcing Tommy to look up at him. 

“We have to go over the rules, Toms.” Dream’s voice is falsely sweet, poisoned honey dripping from his tongue. “I’m your friend, I need to make sure that you don’t hurt yourself.”

Tommy just stares fearfully at the man who killed his best friend - his brother. The only person in the world that cared about Tommy. The only person that Tommy has been able to rely on forever.

“Rule number one: No talking back.” Tommy nods, knowing deep down that he isn’t able to talk. Not now at least. Maybe not ever again. “Rule two: don’t go near the lava. No matter what the reason is. Rule three: If I tell you to do something you do it.”

Tommy doesn’t want to follow those rules, but he nods anyways. Dream wouldn’t be able to watch him all the time, and Dream should be far enough away if Tommy decides to jump into the lava. Tommy could even follow Dream out. The prison is massive - surely something in here will kill him.

If not, starving himself is always an option. Or drowning himself. He has ways to end it all. Suffocation, burning, drowning, starvation. None are particularly pretty, nor are they quick, but there's nothing to attach his bed sheets to. So he can’t hang himself.

“Tommy, are you listening to me?” Dream asks, and Tommy flinches away. He shakes his head, his body tensing, preparing for the next hit.

Dream doesn’t hit him, but the man pulls him into a hug. Tommy freezes, panic and guilt eating at his insides. What is Dream playing at? Why has he done this to him, to Tubbo and Fundy and Wilbur and Techno and Niki and Ranboo and Eret and Philza. Tommy deserves this, but did Tubbo deserve to die?

No. Tubbo didn’t deserve to die. Tommy should have. Tommy should have been the one to die in his place.

“You’re so quiet.” Dream says, wiping the tears from Tommy’s eyes. “So weak. You’re pathetic, I can’t believe anyone ever saw you as a threat, rather than something to pity. Tubbo would have at least yelled at me for killing you.”

Tommy, to his own credit, doesn’t flinch at the harsh words. No, he keeps the words in his chest, letting them settle down into a hum that echoes in his mind. Tommy doesn’t need voices like Technoblade has to make him want to die, he has his own brain.

And Dream, a traitorous part of his brain supplies, Dream is why you’re like this.

Wilbur, Techno, Phil and everyone else helped him. Tommy argues back weakly. Dream is right. Tommy’s pathetic, he doesn’t have friends. Just people who pity him.

“Tommy, can you look at me.” Dream demands, his voice harsh and leaving no room for arguments. Tommy turns his eyes to Dream, and something must be wrong because Dream sighs again. “God, you’re so pathetic. If I had known that all it took to break you was Tubbo’s death, I would have had him killed when you were exiled.”

‘Break you’? Am I really that broken? Tommy ponders, though he knows deep down that this isn’t something that he can come back from. 

“Just wait in there Tommy.” Dream says, walking towards the lava. “I’ll work out a way to mold you into a weapon that only I can use. Then you’ll finally stop being pathetic, and other people might actually like you.”

Dream steps backwards into the lava, and Tommy watches with awe as the man disappears. If only he could follow Dream into the lava’s warm embrace! But the netherite barrier quickly pushes upwards, and Tommy knows that he can’t get through that. Maybe is he crawled he could, but he isn’t that low yet.

Starvation, it seems, is the best option for the present.

So Tommy pulls himself under the covers of his bed, ignoring the world, and he falls back asleep. Perhaps in his dreams, he will see Tubbo again.