Tumgik
#-pulling all-nighters and playing my music out loud and singing quietly at 3am
tfw it's 11pm and you're playing P3R and you get up to 10/4, and just as you get into The Cutscene, your partner decides to jump on voip and play Tekken with his friends very loudly right through it all............ gravitas completely lost, fucken put it in rest mode and I'll replay it tomorrow before work, aaaaaaaa babe you had ALL DAY to do this whyyyyy did you pick right now you loveable asshole hahaha :'>
hrgebfnslfslsj guess I'll get onto all of the stuff on my pc I had put aside until I finished the game, I'm not pleased about it but I guess this is equally my fault for spending half of today in Tartar Sauce doing my powerlevelling.............
I have this major autistic funk where I literally cannot bring myself to play/watch/etc. media I enjoy where there's a part like this with lots of importance/personal meaning if somebody is nearby or in the same room, my brain says NO™ and I struggle so hard to get past it but my god I have tried now that I'm cohabitating with my partner and times like this remind me exactly why I can't and shouldn't (but I also can't wait until he has a day off because we've both taken 2 weeks off starting in two days... I Cannot simply finish the whole game tomorrow lmao)......... if I can't enjoy it at my own pace at night in the right frame of mind with no distractions then I literally can't do it at all and I'll delay it for days if I have to just to meet the "right" arbitrary conditions my dumbass brain sets... it's exhausting but I wouldn't have it any other way (except for if I could force those conditions more often...) because when I DO get to enjoy The Thing then BOY HOWDY do I enjoy it and feel all the things and then it becomes a core memory and I keep recreating the conditions I enjoyed it in the first time even years later and it's so much fun but I can't do it very well nowadays because of living here and it sucks... I feel so constrained like I have to put a lid on my enjoyment all the time down here and I really wish I had my own space again
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