tfw it's 11pm and you're playing P3R and you get up to 10/4, and just as you get into The Cutscene, your partner decides to jump on voip and play Tekken with his friends very loudly right through it all............ gravitas completely lost, fucken put it in rest mode and I'll replay it tomorrow before work, aaaaaaaa babe you had ALL DAY to do this whyyyyy did you pick right now you loveable asshole hahaha :'>
hrgebfnslfslsj guess I'll get onto all of the stuff on my pc I had put aside until I finished the game, I'm not pleased about it but I guess this is equally my fault for spending half of today in Tartar Sauce doing my powerlevelling.............
I have this major autistic funk where I literally cannot bring myself to play/watch/etc. media I enjoy where there's a part like this with lots of importance/personal meaning if somebody is nearby or in the same room, my brain says NO™ and I struggle so hard to get past it but my god I have tried now that I'm cohabitating with my partner and times like this remind me exactly why I can't and shouldn't (but I also can't wait until he has a day off because we've both taken 2 weeks off starting in two days... I Cannot simply finish the whole game tomorrow lmao)......... if I can't enjoy it at my own pace at night in the right frame of mind with no distractions then I literally can't do it at all and I'll delay it for days if I have to just to meet the "right" arbitrary conditions my dumbass brain sets... it's exhausting but I wouldn't have it any other way (except for if I could force those conditions more often...) because when I DO get to enjoy The Thing then BOY HOWDY do I enjoy it and feel all the things and then it becomes a core memory and I keep recreating the conditions I enjoyed it in the first time even years later and it's so much fun but I can't do it very well nowadays because of living here and it sucks... I feel so constrained like I have to put a lid on my enjoyment all the time down here and I really wish I had my own space again
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Regressor FLOWEY headcanons!
-Involuntary and trauma regressor. Enough said.
-He cries a lot. He was an extremely sensitive child, and the extra things he’s gone through (and did himself) don’t make that better.
-It’s not so much regression as it is…acting his age? Flowey doesn’t really ‘act’ like a child at all. When he lets himself do so, he can be more tolerable and sweet. I guess he’s be closer to an age dreamer, then.
-But give him a pacifier and he will slip into a much younger headspace. We’re talking toddler to infant.
-Regression means he doesn’t have to think about RESETs or timelines or anything past the present moment, but he’s also a really big crybaby.
-His regression fluctuates a lot. He could switch from infant to little kid at the flip of a coin. It’s hard to track what headspace he’s fully immersed in.
-The only ‘gear’ he has is a pacifier Papyrus gave him one timeline (which he has subsequently stolen every other timeline). He cherishes it and panics when he loses it. It’s pastel orange with a red race car on the front.
-The only people he’s felt comfortable with were Papyrus, Sans (Papyrus left them alone together one time and they have actually formed positive bonds some timelines) and, later, Frisk (though that’s only on extremely rare occasions when neither of the skeletons are available).
-When he was alone, to shut down his regression - which was often confused with memories and sentimentality - Flowey would just…kill things until it went away.
-Either that, or shoot bullets at whatever he could find that wasn’t a monster.
-He hates when Toriel or Asgore try to do anything with him while he’s regressed. It’s partially because it brings back dangerous memories and partially because neither of them are what he needs or wants most days.
-He can be very quiet and shy one second or fussy and demanding the next. It really depends on who’s taking care of him.
-Can and has sobbed about multiple of his old genocide runs out of the blue.
-Regression is almost like traveling to the past for him, which has a 50/50 chance of ending horribly. He doesn’t understand where his older sibling is or why he’s not being called by his name some days, which freaks him out.
-He’ll respond to ‘Asriel’ absentmindedly.
-Regression is strange to him. It’s like reaching for a memory you know used to be there. He can act as lovey-dovey and sweet as when he was Asriel, but whether that’s genuine is debatable. After he gets back into a more sensible headspace, Flowey wonders about his lack of a SOUL every time. It feels genuine, sure, but why? Memories, going back to a time where he was happy, shouldn’t be enough to alter his physical state. He’s SOULless, and therefore can no longer do things like that properly.
-He has auditory processing disorder and prefers hiding under thick clothing like sweaters if he’s being carried around. It muffles noise.
-Papyrus is his main caregiver. Or Sans, if they’re on good enough terms.
-Flowey despises the very feeling of regression. Every. Time. It just makes him angry when he notices it. Asriel is dead, should be dead. So why is he still just some kid? Why does he still crave what he decided was meaningless RESETs ago?
-When Toriel was sleeping in the RUINS, he would pop out of the floorboards occasionally to watch her or, if he felt particularly uneasy, rest with her in bed.
-Asriel was an extreme people pleaser. He was taught to be kind, which led too often to him being a doormat. Regressed Flowey is similar, and won’t like outwardly saying what he needs.
-Sans once found out Flowey was Asriel one timeline and called him ‘little prince’ when the flower regressed at his house. Flowey has attempted to erase all remnants of that RESET to no avail.
-Sans will also call him little prince/prince by instinct, which Flowey feels mixed about.
-He loves coloring and plush toys. However, the sharp thorns on his vines makes crayons and stuffed animals difficult to grab without hurting them, so he…doesn’t get many opportunities.
-There are times where he regresses for a full day and does nothing but sleep. He’ll fall asleep in the patch of golden flowers and panic when he wakes back up.
-Papyrus understands that his friend doesn’t like being public with his thing-Sans-also-does (Sans is a flip but shh that’s another post), so he tries very hard to take care of Flowey privately when he can. When they were in Snowdin, Flowey would stay in Papyrus’ room.
-Only Papyrus, Frisk (and by extension Chara), and oddly enough Toriel consistently know he regresses. Others have forgotten across SAVEs.
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idk if you guys have also been seeing the dabloon stuff on tiktok but WHY IS THE DABLOON MARKET BECOMING SO CORRUPT ALL I WANTED WAS SOME HOT CHOCOLATE AND NOW I HAVE ABOUT 15 DABLOONS, ENROLLED IN DABLOON UNIVERSITY AND THERES CAPITALISM A GOVERNMENT POLICE AND THEFT???? i only have like 15 dabloons AND PEOPLE OUT HERE GETTING INFINITE DABLOONS?????? THATS GONNA RUIN THE DABLOON ECONOMY HAVE WE LEARNT NOTHING FROM REAL LIFE???? these dabloon cats are simultaneously making me happier and more paranoid
update: so far i’ve learnt about pirates, a revolution, A FUCKING PURGE???? and also taxes. i have become a pirate, now support the revolution, scared of the purge, and am dodging taxes like i dodge my responsibilities. :D
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Writers, I love you but you're not entitled to an audience.
People are not obligated to read your work just because you posted it. There's no malign, evil conspiracy destroying fandom at the seams because you didn't get engagement.
AO3 is an archive. It means you put stuff in it, so it will be preserved. It's not the systems fault that you decided it was the Validation Machine instead, and that you convinced yourself it's a transaction that's taking place: you put in words, you get validation. It's not. It's an archive. That's it. That's all it is.
Posting stuff and getting comments or kudos or bookmarks are two completely distinct and separate things. Stop listening to the monkey brain trying to force a correlation. You're smarter than that. You deserve to not live like that.
Writers, your audience owes you jackshit.
But hey, you owe them about the same, so take comfort in that.
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