#...but that it really doesn't help us when self-care is almost made into a 'non-threatening' activity that is pleasant and nice-looking

[uncanny-tranny]

Hey, gentle recognition for the people who are taking care of themselves in "not aesthetically-pleasing" ways. To the people who have to do things they don't want to because they know they would suffer more if they didn't, to the people who have to brush their teeth with their fingers, to the people who have to use washcloths to bathe, to the people who need to punch pillows or scream into them to express their intense emotions, to anybody ashamed about the way they need to live and take care of themselves.

You are doing the very best you can with the hand you've been dealt. It's not easy, it's not pretty, but it sure as fuck takes so much to do these things. You are doing what is best for yourself, and I, for one, think you deserve to be proud of that. Self-care isn't easy. It isn't pretty, often, but it's something you shouldn't be ashamed of or hide away because it's deemed "grotesque" or "not really self-care (because self-care is pretty and non-threatening to 'normal peoples' senses)"

[thetavolution]

OC SMASH OR PASS

Tagged by: I was tagged once and then ran amuck

Tagging: Any of you who want to do it!

Rules: Include physical descriptions or pics, and propaganda. The “other” label can be used for “sexuality misalignment” (ie: oc is femme and you’re gay, vice versa or you aren’t into smashing but a specific thing you wanna do with them like perhaps hug or study them under a microscope idk).

Bex

QUICK FACTS

Height: 5’6”

Age: 36

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Pansexual

PROS

Amazing cook. She did it professionally prior to the tadpoling.

It's near impossible to ruffle her feathers.

Non-judgemental. Even if she's not into something, she generally won't treat you differently for your kinks.

Open communication about boundaries, expectations, and wants.

She's willing to try almost anything once. She also likes to do things that make her lover happy.

She will domme and sub.

She enjoys biting and mild pain. (Astarion gets her used to some bloodplay, but mostly just in the vampire sense.)

As much as she puts up a "I don't care" front, she cares so much. She's just emotionally burnt out. She is devoted and loyal.

CONS

While it takes a lot to get her emotionally riled, this can also be annoying when trying to get an honest reaction from her. Trauma has led her to shut down emotionally.

Her sense of self-preservation is broken. She will commit to life threatening events for the bit.

She has a "is that all there is?" attitude toward the world.

She will domme, but she can't take it that seriously. There will be jokes and laughing.

She can't get too intense on pain for herself. (If the other person enjoys pain, she'll match what they want though.)

Girl has trauma and it makes her scared of people. If you just want a one night stand, you won't notice. If you want more, you'll notice.

She relies way too much on alcohol to help numb her pain. She gets better over time. It's just highly concerning until she gets it together. The tadpole incident is probably what helped it from going more downhill and lead to her finding better coping techniques.

She's secretive about her history. It takes a long time before she'll open up about what happened to her before working as a cook. She's made huge mistakes in the past she fears she can't atone for.

DETAILS

She loves discovering new recipes and foods. She carries a notebook with her for saving or jotting down new recipes she comes across.

From a pretty trashy family. They're well-known in Baldur's Gate for it.

Her "life doesn't really matter" attitude is what motivates her to be kind. If life is going to suck and be worthless in the end, all we really have is being nice to each other, as far as she's concerned. Sure, she'll help you out. What the fuck else is she doing with her life, y'know?

You gotta subscribe to ACAB if you wanna roll with her.

She loves the color pink, but also tries not to overdo it because she IS pink.

She likes working out.

She's a bard who has a strong preference for the violin.

She's the kind of person who likes stuff that's so bad-it's-good. In a modern day setting, Troll 2, Hell Comes to Frogtown, and Amsterdamned are in her top 5.

[nootqueen404]

Eddie Munson HC: Having a Chronically Ill Partner

Yes this is purely self-indulgent, leave me be okay?! Bare in mind that much of this is based on my own experience as someone with multiple chronic illnesses. I have Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, Chronic Anemia, Small Fiber Neuropathy, and Pre-Load Failure.

Even though you knew Eddie was the non-judgmental type, you were still scares to tell him about being disabled. Obviously he wasn't phased.

But on the inside all he can think about is “what can I do? What can I do to help y/n? How can I make their life easier? How can I let them know how much I love them?”

Eddie is best friends with Dustin, so he has a little experience with medical stuff. Part of the reason they are friends is because Jason Carver tripped the freshman on his first day and Eddie seriously though Dustin broke something. Eddie wound up in detention for fighting, but he still snuck out to check on Dustin and leaned about his CCD. The rest is history.

But yeah, Eddie tried to ask Dustin for advice. Dustin just acts like a smart ass and roasts him for assuming he knows anything because you and him are disabled and "must know each other." Eddie panicked and apologized profusely (we know how much he HATES confrontation,) but after he realized they Dustin was fucking with him Ed gives him a massive wedgie.

The internet didn't exist yet, so research is hard to come by. So Eddie does the next best thing - ask his Uncle Wayne for advice (he just reminds his nephew that the library is a thing.)

He probably asks Nancy too because "Hey she's pretty smart." She does help a lot actually, mostly by being the voice of reason and encouraging Eddie to learn from you.

Eddie asks A LOT of questions at first, enough to where he learns about one of the most common symptoms - brainfog and cognitive fatigue. Now he just asks the doctors you see.

Speaking of doctors he acts as your personal chauffeur to all of your appointments, even if you have a drivers license and a car. He knows you're more than capable of driving yourself, he just doesn't want you to put more stress on your body then you need to.

He's also not afraid to speak up on your behalf if a doctor or nurse tries to gaslight you. He remembers early on in your relationship of you coming home an appointment, just sobbing your eyes out about "no one believing you." That lit a fire under his ass.

He's threaten to throw hands with said doctors. But most of the time he just passive aggressive.

You've tried to explain Spoon Theory to him ("Why the fuck is it spoons?!?") So he changed it to a Health Bar, Hit Points, and Mana because he's a giant fucking nerd like that. Honestly it made more sense to both of you.

He's a lot more cautious now when it comes to his dealing, either cutting back on making deals to keep both of you safe, or triple checking the quality of his product. If what he deals could help someone, someone like you, then he knows it needs to be perfect.

When you tell him that some of the stuff he sells can help with your symptoms he makes sure he keeps the really good stuff in a safe place for you. Only the best weed for his baby.

Eddie stocks his kitchen with all of your favorite snacks and drinks, much to the annoyance of his uncle. Wayne bought him a mini fridge just so Eddie wouldn't overstock the main one with nothing but Gatorade.

Eddie is always worried if you're too hot/cold (In my personal case I'm always cold).

Too hot during those grueling summers in Hawkins? BOOM! Kiddie pool! BOOM! Pedialyte popsicles! BOOM! Umbrella!

Too cold? He keeps a bunch of regular and electric blankets in his closet.

You almost never use them because Eddie is a human space heater.

He keeps extra clothes and extra bottles of your meds for you if you don't have the Spoons/HP to drive home.

Could he drive you home? Yeah, but taking care of others is his love language.

You've made fun of him for this, but he keeps a mini cooler in his van filled with water and Gatorade because "you never know."

The pharmacists use to hate Eddie (cuz ya know) and were a little afraid of him with all of the rumors going. But after you two start dating they LOVE him! Whenever either of you need to get medical supplies the old ladies gush about how sweet Eddie is and the old guys try to hire him because he "knows so much" about different prescription medication.

They also give you and Eddie deals on supplies because they know you're both struggling financially.

After a while Wayne let's you sit in his recliner to help with your circulation.

Speaking of which, Wayne also loves you! He's skeptical at first, but all of that goes away after he sees how happy you make Eddie. Plus, he loves that Eddie is now using his dealer status to help people.

Eddie broke his own personal rule: the only people allowed to sit in his throne at Hellfire Club is him...and now you. The others did complain a little, but after Eddie explained your situation they backed down. When you need to shit you’re going to go sit wherever you can.

For your One Year anniversary Eddie gives you your own throne. The other members helped brainstorm and decorate it.

When you start needing a ramp Eddie enlists the help of all of your friends to help build it all. Everyone got a kick out of painting the ramp, but it caused a lot of in-fighting over how it would look. This is another way you bond with Eddie’s Uncle.

Eddie and the others helped you raise money for a motorized wheelchair and/or service animal by doing car washes and Corroded Coffin doing charity gigs.

You thought the crew fighting over the ramp was bad, wait until they get the idea to customize your mobility aid!

Team Eddie's Hot rod flames and skulls vs. Team Erica's Glitter and rainbow stickers.

Whenever you go to concerts with Eddie he makes sure you can have somewhere to sit away from the pit.

If its one of his shows he has you seated right off stage and with one of your friends - usually Steve and Robin. The best seat in the house!

Eddie LOVES bridal carrying you everywhere (Even though it isn't always needed.)

And giving you baths! Some times he’ll even join you! He will sit behind you and wash your hair while you cuddle up against his chest. One word: HEAVEN!

Not a day goes by where Eddie doesn't tell you he loves you for who you are - in sickness and in health.

(NSFW)

Eddie is super cautious during sex now after you passed out one time (I had this happen to be irl. It terrified my boyfriend, but I thought it was hilarious!)

You use the Stop Light Method to check in on each other. Green = keep going, Yellow = slow down, Red = Stop

"Who needs lingerie when you have compression socks?" is a running gag for you two.

Repeats after Eddie: “Hydrate or die-drate!”

Aftercare gets an upgrade in the form of baths together, “post-coitus” salty snacks, and snuggling while watching TV.

[bxllafanficc]

¡Skate/sing your hearts out! (Yuri Plisetsky x reader)

(part seven)

Part one. Masterlist!

Summary: After last year's cancellation of Figure Skating Grand Prix, Yuri Plisetsky finds himself unable to bring out his inner skater after a year of doing nothing but enjoy life like a regular teenager. That's when you enter the picture; We Are Voice Grand Awards's currently hottest competitive vocalist come first place two years in a row. Just like the other competitors of Grand Prix, it turns out that Victor and Yuuri faces the same issue. With an arrangement between Victor and Yakov, they agree to travel to Japan and hire you as a mutual coach for Yuri and Yuuri to help bring back the emotion into their performances like before, maybe even more intense than ever. Yuri however, who's never experienced issues with his coaches before, for some reason finds this one particularly difficult to coexist along with in their (reasonably) odd partnership. Warnings: none

*Yuri's POV*

(Next week)

A week had passed by in a rather slow pace. Yuri's recovery seemed to never end when it had just been a few days. But those days were spent sleeping and eating, using his phone and sleeping some more. Mostly he had no one to talk to since everyone were busy with their own lives. Especially (Y/n) who had to keep her inner performer alive at all times. Her coach came with the idea of hosting a smaller gig where (Y/n) would perform about two or three numbers for the people of Japan. It was planned out as a small nightclub gig at first but the numbers of interested in Japan rose over the charts and well... (Y/n) said that she didn't want to let anyone down. Though her coach was apparently hesitant into taking more than a hundred people. 'Three numbers are too little for a concert.' They said but the people of Japan insisted on paying for the price a concert ticket anyway.

(Y/n) had told him this two days after his fever started. He remembered it made him scoff at how she decided the ticket would only cost a quarter of what a normal concert ticket would then. He had told her it was a ridiculous way of thinking.

He barely saw her after the first day of his fever. The way Yuri had taken a hold of her hand and fallen asleep... She waited until he woke up. Well, not exactly waited. She fell asleep at the edge of his bed.

And since that, the two of you barely talked during the days. They barely even met before she went to bed because she spent every waking hour to practice her numbers with her backup dancers. She still made you breakfast when she head the time though.

Yuri's glad it would soon be over and he could go back to normal. Everyone had been attending to him like he was some child and he felt like a huge burden. He had told Victor that he wished (Y/n) especially wouldn't just dismiss his attempts at doing things on his own just because he couldn't get out of bed with single effort. 'Right, she told me about that! You fell on your face right after while trying, didn't you?' He had replied.

So... yeah... Yuri wanted things to return to normal real fast. Yakov had promised him that he would get to start his session with (Y/n) as soon as the music for the program was set. And that was what Victor had been helping him with a couple times. It was hard to find something he wanted to use. Everything felt overused and boring. Just another performance. Yuri didn't want it to pass as that. He wanted to stand out and earn his gold medal for real just as last year. Now was also really the year of improvement so the music had to be well thought through. He was certainly going to take advantage of having a coach for emotional performances with him this season as well. Meaning, his free skate program was already set to be something hurtful and strong. Not love, he already did that. Something far more serious. He wanted the audience to cry after his performance. Everyone should be bawling. Yakov, piglet, Victor and even (Y/n).

Most important of all, no one would be expecting him to do a program with such deep meaning. Because he was one to avoid it in the past.

His short program should be something upbeat and flashy. He wanted the choreography so intense that he'd be coughing up blood at the end of the performance, if that was possible. So the music had to make the pulse of the audience rise when hearing it. Meaning, the music would be in the rock genre. And he already had just the song for it.

This performance would show off his skills and flexibility as well as the importance of his stamina since the entire program would be non-stop step sequences and jumps throughout almost the entire music. Since he intended to be in better shape than ever before before the competition started, he felt no point in holding back on anything. If he played it safe, then what was the point?

"Ah! Good morning Yuri! I come bearing gifts!" Victor busted the door open with his foot and stumbled inside the room, balancing a tray in his hand. The tray was set down in front of him and Victor sat down at the end of Yuri's bed.

"Where's (Y/n)?" Yuri was truly surprised to see Victor being the one to bring you the breakfast today. It had been her until now. And he hadn't even seen as much as her face today since she left so early.

"Ouch. I'm replaced already? I can't go on knowing I'm not your favorite anymore, you know." Victor put a dramatic hand to his forehead and fell backwards onto Yuri's legs. The tray with the breakfast threatened to tumble and Yuri made an effort to stabilize it. It was bacon and eggs with apple slices. A part of him felt a little sad that the slices weren't in the shape of stars...

"You were never my favorite, old man. And you didn't answer my question." Yuri picked up the fork and pointed it towards the man slopped unto the bed end. He ignored the sad pout he received and took a bite of the apple cut into pieces. Each slice were to large and it didn't even taste the same even though they were of the same apples like yesterday. The eggs were decent and the bacon slightly undercooked. Victor's efforts to cook for the household during the day were appreciated of course. But there was no wonder why (Y/n) stood for the head of the dinner at days when her schedule wasn't as crazy.

"She's practicing like mad. Called her dancers to say that she would be starting a few hours ahead of time because she got an energy boost. She wants the show to be at her best efforts possible."

"I haven't even seen her today. How can she practice like a maniac when she's probably already learned her numbers flawlessly?"

Victor was watching Yuri with a funny look. Probably wondering where all those questions came from.

"I think the show is a way for her to relax."

Say what? Going out of bed before sunrise and coming back from practice just mere hours before midnight could never be considered relaxation. Yuri would never be able to pull that off. That was an insane view of the word relaxing, definitely.

"The steam and demands from her competition in We are voice are currently lifted off her shoulders like heavy weights, you know. This is probably just fun to her. She doesn't have to compete with anyone. I think it gives her a sense of relief."

Yuri stopped eating and thought a little extra on what Victor said.

Yes. She was always stressed in every video where a fan or a nosy reporter came out of nowhere and started recording. Yuri had seen those videos. Especially the one where the random person happened to record the exact moment her mind broke down and she had a breakdown in front of a large crowd. Now there was no denying that Yuri sees (Y/n) as the most weirdest and ridiculous being alive. The way she is so determined to get her way and how much she cares for strangers she's never met. Yuri kind of still consider the two of them to be strangers, even after two weeks being with each other on a daily basis. Her eyes are also too intense for anyone to be up close with to her face and as if that wasn't enough, she's also a morning person and that's already a big warning sign to stay away from a person.

But even though he had had this mental conversation with him many times. Even though he agreed that he disliked her; he couldn't help but being captivated by her performances.

It felt so weird seeing her cry like that just minutes before her performance and then watching her going on stage having the time of her life. There was no doubt she loved her fans and performing on stage but that was one of those moments where Yuri really got to see the mind behind the happy smile. It was the first time he had seen her crying or feeling a negative emotion. It's still the first but he got a taste of her irritated self not so long ago.

It made Yuri think about her performance that day. It was a remarkable song filled with sheerness and excitement and her eyes were still wet with tears as she got up on stage.

"Remember (Y/n) performing 'Animal' during the acappella collaboration sequence?"

"Yes! One of my favorites. She was so happy on stage that day." While it had been true that she found happiness, it's not to ignore how broken she felt right before. 'Animal' by Neon Trees (A/N: listen to the Glee version of the song for the best acapella dynamic!) Was one of (Y/n)'s best performances, according to Yuri. He had watched it on repeat just this morning. There's really nothing special to the song in itself. It was the way she delivered every word and tune with such bravery after her internal battle like that. Her emotional response has always been on point but this particular song was something completely real and touching with her tears glistening in the corner of her eyes the entire performance. The tears of sadness had been replaced with joy and she had genuinely just been having a great time with the acapella group at her side, cheering and jumping around on stage with stars in her eyes.

'Oh, oh

I want some more

Oh, oh

What are you waiting for?

Say goodbye to my heart tonight'

The chorus were always his favorite part. Maybe it was the interpretation of the love-hate relationship the words of the lyrics intended. (Y/n) was belting out 'what are you waiting for' with such passion even though it was hardly a difficult song to perform.

'Here we are again

I feel the chemicals kickin' in

It's gettin' heavier and

I wanna run and hide

I wanna run and hide'

The short verse got him every time. The way her eyes watered at the end and then were immediately blown away by the chorus once again. The way she let go of her sadness and let her happy thoughts consume her. No, she let the song consume her and gave the song a completely different touch never done before.

Yuri had lost count of the time he'd watched it and he knew the choreography and song in and out by now. It was mainly intended for the purpose of studying her expression and getting some kind of inspiration for his music choice. He wanted his theme of his music choice for the free skate program to be 'to let go'. If there's any theme harder than love, then it's letting go of the thing you love. And not just what you love. Letting go to be able to love as well. Whether it's love for yourself or another person. There are countless interpretations and that's what (Y/n) had performed that day, with no intention whatever of doing it in such a way.

"I have... I have chosen the music for my program. At the inspiration of t-that performance."

Now don't get Yuri wrong. He'd never admit it to anyone that (Y/n) had been an inspiration to his free skate. He would probably had figured out the idea anyway, it would just had taken a little longer. And her performance was his own way to interpret it so he'd been the one to come up with the decision anyway. So in a way, she didn't have anything to do with it. And his choice of song would be far more intense and heartbreaking than anything Neon Trees could produce. And so Yuri told Victor about his music choices even though he had no clue why he put that kind of trust into the man.

"Those are some really clever choices when combined with your own vision. I'm almost a little jealous. Maybe I should just hire (Y/n) as my coach myself. It seems like it did wonders for you already!" The man laughed and patted Yuri on the shoulder.

"Nonsense. She hasn't began coaching me yet. She had no part in this." Yuri pushed away the empty tray to make room for sitting up and crossing his legs.

"Oh, but it seems like you learned a lot by ogling her all day long though." The smirk Yuri received made his teeth grit and his ears flush.

"I-i wasn't ogling her!"

"Then what were you doing exactly? I heard 'Animal' playing for a good 30 minutes from the wall connected to the room beside yours." Victor laughed at the startled freeze of The Russian Punk.

Okay fine. Maybe he went overboard with the video. But a new problem had seemed to appear now as he admitted defeat.

Yuri now had a witness that would have to be taken care of somehow. He leaned forwards and gripped the collar of Victor's shirt in a tight fist. The glare of daggers shot forwards onto the smiling man.

"Tell anyone about it and you're gonna have to reconstruct that pretty nose of yours. That's a promise,not a threat."

"Trust me! You won't hear a peep!"