#chronically ill

[fibro-memes]

[chaos-and-ink]

Hurts if I eat, hurts if I don't; hurts if I sleep, hurts so deep.

[cripplemetal]

but seriously, i can't believe how far i've gone. and how i should be really proud of myself.

11 years of never-ending pain, of learning how to ignore and endure it, how to look and act "normal".

then my first shitty canes (they're pretty but completely unusable). first steps. first shame. how i was afraid to show up at work with it.

after that, i ordered a custom cane. and then another one. i decorated them. made them vibing. i started taking it to work, still afraid to use it around my colleagues.

then i got three house canes (first and second ones got chewed by my beloved dog lol) and started using it at home as well.

and now i use it everywhere i go. when i walk my dog, when i go to my lunch break on work, when i get around my apartment.

i got forearm crutches and learned how to use them. i decorated them too! they're yellow, covered in flowers stickers.

today i started saving up for my future rollator. i believe i'll be able to actually order it by june.

it all happened too fast, i still have impostor syndrome, i still feel self-conscious, like i'm not actually disabled and don't belong to cpunk communtiy and i'm a faker etc etc etc... but one thing happened: i improved my life. (even if i'm a faker lol) i got less pain every day, less fatigue, i stopped being ashamed at least of my canes.

my best friend was a big part of this journey, without her support i'd never get here. love her so much.

[justsomerandomgay]

something that isn’t talked about enough with chronic illness is knowing that going to your appointments and doing your exercises and all that will help but being in too much pain or too fatigued to go, so your just stuck in this constant cycle of knowing what you need to do to get better but not being able to do it because your sick

[talkethtothehandeth]

I love you cripples, cripples I love you

[wishful-seeker]

I have 0% tolerance for doctors anymore, if they treat me shitty once they will again, thus I'll either drop them or file a complaint.

Before my CRPS was diagnosed i was too scared to stand up to doctors. The pain made me SO DESPERATE i was willing to deal with anything. Now that i have this new undiagnosed illness i realized my body and mind PHYSICALLY cannot do that anymore.

The second to last time i didn't stand up for myself with a doctor i punched the medical bed as soon as she left the room, the last time i couldn't even hear what he said because i was busy restraining myself from punching HIM. i was seeing red, face twitching and everything. My body literally cannot take being quiet anymore. I do not care if i make things more difficult. I don't care if it takes longer to get diagnosed because im pushing for better treatment. I would rather stand up for myself and physically suffer more than let these doctors believe they are allowed to treat me like a dog. They don't treat me like a HUMAN, they don't see us as HUMAN. They see us as pests. A burden, a problem to solve. And if they can't solve you THEY FUCKING HATE YOU. but i think i hate them more.

Doctors are in a gross position of power over their patients, they decide if you live or die, your existence is in their hands, you beg them for help because they are your God and they spit in your face. Even if you literally cry and beg them to help they will give you NOTHING and i know this because thats what i did. I literally BEGGED these people sobbing to help my pain and they did nothing. They do not care about you. They never will. We are not people to them. Nurses are often the same way. I've had nurses and doctors lie straight to my face, make faces when i tell them my story, and do other horrible things.

I can't do it. I can't deal with it anymore. I will fight tooth and nail and be the biggest Karen in existence to these doctors the SECOND they treat me wrong.

I have found two. TWO doctors out of over 50 that i actually like. 2 that treat me appropriately and not like im a bug. 2 that treat me like a human being.

[matchakuracat]

Being asked to rate your pain on a scale as someone who has had chronic pain for several years is so difficult. Like how am I supposed to rate the pain I am experiencing from 1-10 when I have no idea what it feels like to not be in pain. Like what is 0? what is 1?? what is even 10???? What am I comparing it to???? My 5 can be someone else's 10 and their 10 can be someone else's 2, and how is a doctor or anyone else for that matter supposed to tell the difference? Maybe it's because I'm autistic and I'm just overthinking it but it literally makes no sense to me.

[frogsupportanarchy]

Just got diagnosed!! Keep fighting for your diagnosis someone will eventually give you an answer. Good luck to those who don't know what's wrong.

[im-out-of-it]

[ladysadie6969]

I don't even remember what a no pain day feels like anymore, I've gotten so used to the aching and throbbing pains, I can't even fathom having zero pain.....10+ years of this already and I finally have a doctor's appointment with someone whom I hope listens to me and is able to help me.

[pleastrop]

I was talking to my mom about mobility aids and also said that I am going to buy compression socks/gloves and she got SO mad, she told me those things are for old people and that I'm not going to use any of those things, even if I pay for them myself, all because "you're only 19, you DON'T need them!!" I'm so tired

[fibro-memes]

[ashthenerdtheythem]

For fucks sake

My geography teacher has this game that she likes to play when we finish the day's revision topic(we finished the course in Jan). It's would you rather. But you have to sit or stand up for your answer. This has resulted in several near fainting episodes and triggered a 2 week flare up. Today, 1 of the lads asked if we could just stick our hands up. In that moment I would have done anything for that fucker despite his previous shitiness. She told him to stop being so fucking lazy. JUST STOP CAUSING FLARE UPS PLEASE!!! I AM BEGGING YOU!!!

[cripplemetal]

"you have such long beautiful legs" awww thank you! :3 they're useless

[justsomerandomgay]

when you have chronic pain, nobody cares that your having a particularly bad day because your meant to be used to it. no one believes that i’m actually in such bad pain. i can be crying from the pain and they just don’t care

but i do care, if you are suffering from chronic pain, im sorry and i see you and you don’t deserve this. you deserve rest ❤️‍🩹

[love-me-love-my-weirdness]

Shout out to the ten year old who just got diagnosed. Shout out to the housebound fourteen year old. Shout out to the eighteen year old who can’t go to the university they wanted. Shout out to the twenty two year old who can’t get a job. Shout out to the twenty six year old with a caretaker. Shout out to the thirty year old who can’t buy their own house.

Shout out to young disabled people. We exist.