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Subject: Correspondence

—

Vanserra,

I am aware it has been less than a day since Feyre’s arrival, but I am contacting you to ask for her email address—one I am certain she has, considering she is to be an esteemed member of your Court. I promise I will not do or write anything untoward.

Cauldron bless,

Rhysand

[23-01-501, 07:45AM]

Subject: RE: Correspondence

—

Dear dishonourable Lord Nightingale,

May I inquire as to why you asked me, and not Lord Tamlin? I control very little of Spring.

Cauldron bless,

Lucien

[23-01-501, 09:59AM]

Subject: RE: RE: Correspondence

—

Vanserra,

Do not ask questions you know the answers to.

Cauldron bless,

Rhysand

Sent from my StarPhone

[23-01-501, 11:12AM]

Subject: RE: RE: RE: Correspondence

—

Rhysand,

The two of you being slighted ex-lovers is none of my business and it should not stand in the way of asking for Feyre’s email address.

Cauldron bless,

Lucien

[23-01-501, 17:01PM]

Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: Correspondence

—

Lucien,

Tamlin and I are not slighted ex-lovers. Do not be ridiculous and do not lie.

Rhys

Sent from my Starphone

[24-01-501, 07:34AM]

Subject: k 🤨

—

Rhysand,

Whatever you say, my Lord. What do I know.

May the Cauldron give you horrid constipation,

Lucien

[24-01-501, 12:22PM]

Subject: don’t k me

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Lucien,

What do you know indeed, little runt. I can assure you that, though we were friends once, nothing has ever happened between us.

Now, give me Feyre’s email address (but do not tell Tamlin).

May the Cauldron turn whatever you consume to lumps of coal,

Rhysand

[24-01-501, 22:03PM]

Subject: k

—

Rhysand,

Rumours tell otherwise, my Lord.

Also, no.

May the Cauldron make you pee acid,

Lucien

[25-01-501, 05:09AM]

Subject: do NOT k me

—

Lucien,

Rumours are rarely truthful.

Do not make me ask again, Vanserra. This is unbecoming.

May the Cauldron fill your arsehole with infected haemorrhoids,

Rhysand

[25-01-501, 07:22]

Subject: kk

—

Rhysand,

Where smoke is, is fire. Pun intended.

And please, do not ask again! That is all I’ve ever wanted.

May the Cauldron make you allergic to existence,

Lucien

[25-01-501, 21:34]

Subject: FINE

—

Vanserra,

If you give me Feyre’s email address, I shall ensure Hewn City will continue to purchase the Spring Court Red for their revels. In addition, for you, I’ll try to limit their dealings with Autumn.

How’s that?

May the Cauldron make all your hair fall out,

Rhys

[26-01-501, 07:35AM]

Subject: Deal

—

Her email is [email protected]. I am aware she’s not a lady yet. Don’t @ me.

I hope we will be able to continue our amiable dealings in the future.

Cauldron bless,

Lucien

[26-01-501, 09:55AM]

Subject: Hi :)

—

Feyre darling,

I’ve managed to finangle your e-mail address from the little fox. I must say I’m disappointed in the lack of creativity (and the assumption that you and Tamlin will marry), but it is what it is.

Anyway, I apologise for not being very present during your week in my Court. It is still very busy for me after 50 years of absence, but I hope I’ll be more available to you during your second visit.

Please continue to practise what I taught you; when I pick you up on the thirteenth, I will be checking your progress. I’d like to see those mental walls nice and strong.

Perhaps emailing back and forth will help your reading and writing? Otherwise, I’m sure Vanserra would love to help you.

I hope you’re well and eating.

Yours,

Rhys (the most handsome High Lord)

[26-01-501, 12:34PM]

Subject: RE: Hi :)

—

Rhys,

Lack of creativitee is maybe the case but it is an e-mail address. Tamlin made it. Yours is stupid.

I did not mind your absence at all. Please be more busy. Also don’t tell me what to do.

Hope you fall of a mounten.

Not yours,

Feyre

[26-01-501, 15:55PM]

Subject: RE: RE: Hi :)

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Feyre darling,

Tamlin having created your email address explains much (but also very little. He is not very adept at technology, as far as I know. He must’ve dictated while Vanserra did all the hard work). In addition, my email-address is not stupid: it is accurate. As you know, my wings are humongous — as are other parts, if you know what I mean — and it therefore fits me like a glove. I can’t exactly use “themostpowerfulhighlord” or “themosthandsomehighlord”, can I? Would be a tad wordy. My creativity is without bounds.

Of course, I can see through your barbs and pretend they do not hurt me. You did miss me a little bit, didn’t you? I sincerely hope to be around you properly next time. Your presence is such a delightful addition to my day, and I sorely regret missing so much of it.

Does your reply mean you are open to corresponding with me via email? Who am I kidding—you’re not. I presume you’ve recruited the little foxling to help you practise. I’m sure he will be sufficient (but not as useful as me, obviously).

I’ll try my hardest to fall off a mountain, but only because you asked so nicely. I’m not sure whether I’ll succeed: my massive wings might snap open and allow me to glide, preventing me from falling to a violent death. I apologise in advance.

Much love from the Night Court, Feyre darling.

Yours,

Rhys (still the most beautiful High Lord)

PS: As I cannot tell you what to do, allow me a bit of reverse psychology: please do not eat and ensure you are well. I would despise it if you would and stayed healthy. Did it work?

PPS: you made some spelling mistakes. I did not want to correct them outright, but I have written them correctly in this email—if you wish, you can compare the words we both used.

[27-01-501, 10:22AM]

Subject: No

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Rhys,

I’m not going to thank you for that. Also no to everything you said. And bind your small wings together before you fall.

STIL not yours,

Feyre

[27-01-501, 10:43AM]

Subject: RE: No

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Feyre darling,

You’re making me very sad ( ◞‸◟`) I shall attempt to win your favour again on the thirteenth.

Yours,

Rhys

PS: Can you bind my wings for me, please?

PPS: *still

Sent from my Starphone

[29-01-501, 09:34AM]

Subject: Update on Feyre

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Rhys,

Feyre told me you’ve asked her to practise with me. I must say I was surprised you didn’t insist upon emailing back and forth with her instead, knowing you—until she showed me the emails you’ve sent her, and I saw that you’ve suggested she practise her reading and writing with me as some sort of last resort. Obviously I shouldn’t have expected anything else.

Anyway, considering I’m the IT guy here and Tamlin is terrible at computers, I feel safe to tell you that I’m glad you’ve been pushing her to learn. I’m sure your intentions are nefarious — this is still you, after all — but these are important skills, and I’d all but forgotten she is still largely unable to. I’m afraid I’d pushed the second trial out of my mind. You understand, don’t you? With the threat of being pierced like a kebab on searing hot spikes and all that.

Feyre is, not all that surprising, incredibly stubborn. She wishes to learn yet also wishes not to. I’ve half a mind to say she’s being petty about you wanting her to learn specifically, but that’s not all. Perhaps embarrassment. I suppose I’m partially to blame for that.

I was glad to see she’s gained some weight upon return from your Court, but I’m not so blind to not notice she’s losing it again (unlike some people). She eats sparingly (not enough) and is becoming more frail each day (I fear a firm wind will blow her over to Summer) and I do not know what to do. She also doesn’t speak often, but when she does, her words are curt and harsh.

Mother forbid, but do you perhaps have an inkling of what’s going on, and do you perhaps know how to help her? Tamlin is sticking his head in the sand and Ianthe is… Ianthe. The servants are also rather worried, and I’ve caught them giving her larger portions than usual. It is concerning.

I look forward to an answer.

Cauldron bless,

Lucien

[30-01-501, 07:22AM]

Subject: RE: Update on Feyre

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Dearest Darlingest Lucy,

I’m very pleased to hear you’ve decided to help Feyre now that I (briefly) cannot. They are very important skills indeed. If Tamlin gives you any shit, feel free to give a shout. I promise I might come to help in some way.

Also, isn’t her stubbornness delightful? I was rather surprised to realise I find it incredibly invigorating to experience some pushback from her. Usually I would’ve misted someone already, but she’s being so charmingly adorable about it that I would never. I cannot wait to see her again.

Regarding her lack of appetite, I’m afraid I’m not sure how to help her, as she (rather inexplicably) ate quite well whilst in my Court. All I’ll say is that a tacked horse won’t gallop freely if you do not loosen the reins.

Good luck,

Rhys

PS: A word of advice to you, which I’m sure you’ve figured out already: those who are stubborn are good learners.

PPS: I’m currently travelling around my Court and I must say, the fresh air here is lovely. I think I took being outside for granted before Amarantha; the air becomes so musty and stifling when you spend all your time inside and in constant company of others. Don’t you agree?

[30-01-501, 08:15AM]

From: [email protected]

CC: [email protected]

Subject: not important

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Feyre darling,

Mor insisted I give you her email address so you can contact her if you so wish. She wants me to tell you that you shouldn’t feel obligated to, but that if you need someone to talk or just vent to, her inbox is always open. I’ve CC’ed her—you can email her by right clicking on the address and choosing ‘Send E-Mail’, I believe.

Feel free to ignore this if you are not interested.

Hope you’re feeling well,

Rhys

[31-01-502, 09:38AM]

From: [email protected]

Subject: OK

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Rhys,

I’m unsure as to why I’m keeping you updated, but I wish to tell you she’s making progress in reading and writing. I do not think it will take long before she is ploughing through Prythian’s history books with ease. You were right, stubborn people are the best learners. It just took a bit of trickery.

Regarding my concerns towards her appetite, I’ve attempted to bring improvement to these circumstances. But as I am, as everybody loves to remind me, a mere emissary, I’m afraid any attempt at change is thwarted. Feyre currently has more authority over the Court than I do, but any careful suggestions she makes get shot down. I believe she’s getting increasingly disheartened. As she is, in all but official paperwork, my Lady, but most importantly my dear friend, I shall continue to try and make things better for her.

I suppose I should thank you for your comments. It helped me realise that I already knew what’s going on.

May the Cauldron bless you,

Lucien

[31-01-502, 10:09AM]

Subject: [NONE]

—

👍

Sent from my StarPhone

[01-02-501, 10:32AM]

Subject: Bargain

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Rhysand,

I think it is time to discuss any and all ways to dispose of this bargain you dared to make with Feyre. Neither of us wish to deal with your Court for any longer than absolutely necessary, and seeing this bargain is, decidedly, unnecessary, it is in our best interests that it is dissolved as soon as possible.

In order to discuss the how’s and why’s, I propose a PrythianMeet meeting on the 8th at 13:45PM. Here is the link: meet.prythian.org/fck-uyu-syhr

I expect you to be polite and helpful.

Cauldron bless,

Tamlin

[02-02–501, 16:57PM]

CC: [email protected]; [email protected]; [email protected]

Subject: yeah no ❤️

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Tamlin,

No. I can’t just free up my schedule on a whim. I’m busy on the 8th. The only time I’m available for a meeting in the considerable future is on the 36th of Nevermber, at Go-Fuck-Yourself-o’clock. Does that work for you?

If you’re truly this disgustingly desperate and insecure about Feyre spending one week per month in my Court, we can easily discuss the matter over e-mail. In that case, the entire thing is very easily resolved: bargain magic cannot be broken without serious consequences for the health and well-being of everyone involved. Dissolution is far too likely to backfire; the Mother will take back. You know this, you miserable little youngling.

May the Cauldron bless you with some fucking braincells,

Rhys

[03-02-501, 13:22PM]

Subject: twat

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Rhysand,

Break the bargain, or I’ll kill you.

Tamlin

[04-02-501, 05:45AM]

CC: [email protected]; [email protected]; [email protected]

Subject: k

—

Tamlin,

I double-dog dare you to try ❤️

Much love,

Rhys

[04-02-501, 09:17AM]

CC: [email protected]; [email protected]; [email protected]

Subject: RE: k

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Rhysand,

It’s so incredibly unsurprising you refuse to work with me. How typical.

Bargains CAN be dissolved, and this one will be too. It’s a matter of when, not how.

Tamlin

[05-02-501, 06:28AM]

CC: [email protected]; [email protected]; [email protected]

Subject: owo?

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Dearest Tammy,

I am shaking in my boots ❤️❤️❤️

Much love,

Rhysie

Sent from my StarPhone

[05-02-501, 07:58AM]

Subject: stop :/

—

Hey can you two get a room and continue in PM or something you’re clogging up my inbox and some of us actually have work to do :///

The Morrigan

Overseer Court of Nightmares

[05-02-501, 09:16AM]

Subject: RE: stop :/

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:(( but it’s so much fun though

[05-02-501, 11:52AM]

Subject: RE: RE: stop :/

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Rhysand, we can take this discussion somewhere else. I’d love to rip you open from top to bottom.

Tamlin

[06-02-501, 09:23AM]

Subject: don’t stop

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please Tamlin talk dirty to me more 💦💦💦💦

[06-02-501, 10:05AM]

Subject: where’s the bleach

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Ladies,

This is a terrible day to know how to read, isn’t it?

Lucien Vanserra

Emissary of the Spring Court

[06-02-501, 10:59AM]

Subject: don’t talk to me

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what it says on the tin, Vanserra

The Morrigan

Overseer Court of Nightmares

[06-02-501, 11:38AM]

Subject: [NONE]

—

Rhys,

Please don’t god him into anything. I know it doesn’t seem like it but Tamlin really does want to resolve this sitchoation in a good way. You’re just making him more upset now.

Feyre

[09-02-501, 12:03PM]

Subject: Hm.

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Feyre darling,

I’m not goading him into anything. I know you know how he is, but believe me when I say I’ve known him for far longer than you’ve been alive.

He’s upsetting himself. He doesn’t want to resolve this ‘situation’, as you put it, in a good way; he just wants it over with, because our little bargain is hurting his fragile male ego.

Still, your wish is my command. I’ll stop interacting with him, for you.

Yours,

Rhys

PS: again, spelling corrections are hidden in my email! See it as a Where’s Waldo game xxxx

12-02-501, 07:46AM]

CC: [email protected]; [email protected]; [email protected]

Subject: Bargain Week 2

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Dear Mr Vanserra,

Consider this email a reminder of High Lord Rhysand Nightingale’s arrival tomorror, 13-02-501, to collect Miss Feyre Archeron for the upholding of their bargain.

I wish to warn every fae in the Spring Court not to intervene in this matter, seeing the precarious nature of the situation.

I hope to have informed you enough.

May the Cauldron bless you,

The Morrigan

Overseer Court of Nightmares

[13-02-501, 12:15PM]