#2nd time she pooped in the toilet kinda and then took it to her bed and smeared it all over her bed

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Work got me like

[herriblog]

Post Op Day 1, I was still doped on IV Morphine. In and out of consciousness. Whoever again came to visit me, I remembered but I barely could respond. I was still disturbed over my left arm numbness. But it was half arm numbness. Thank god! I almost thought that I had a stroke. I was freaking out but still I calmed myself down. My husband and my sil (sister in law) told me to wean down the IV Morphine but I didn’t want. I didn’t want to feel the pain. I couldn’t move side to side without feeling pain.

Things I had in me was, Redivac drain x 1, Urinary catheter, IV drips with antibiotics with painkillers and anti emetics meds.

But one thing was for sure. I didn’t feel the radiating pain over my leg anymore. No more numbness over the legs anymore. It was good. But the pain over the back was horrid score was ranging from 5-8 especially during movement. I couldn’t bear with it. Still on Morphine. Dr D.  was asking if I would want to ambulate but I said I didn’t want because of the pain. And he said it’s okay. No worries. Tomorrow, we get physio in. I said ok. He then explained then the previous surgeon empitied the disc space but he didn’t clear the disc that was protruding on the nerve root, that’s why it was causing so much pain. I was like the fark! You got to be kidding me. He took 20K and if he didn’t complete. I considered suing but Ahhh...wat the heck. Dr D. also said that he lengthen my spine already. Something that everyone would be happy but I couldn’t be bother. My pain was the one I wanted to be rid of. And the most important thing was no numbness over my right leg and no more radiating leg pain.

I was still disturbed by my half hand numbness. But I still thought  about it...nevermind...maybe I tidur during operation...maybe salah urat ker. I kept on massaging it. Opening and closing it on and off. Working out. Come on...please don’t jadi rabak... Nanti macam nak kerja balik. I was on Morphine 0.2-0.4mg/h. And trust me Morphine with that dose can really affect you alot. 0.5mg/hour made me eat and sleep...I literally snored. 0.2mg/hour was a baby dose. It didn’t hit me. I started the pain. I requested the painkiller to  up-ed it back to 0.4mg/hr. My sis in law went back to get her clothes etc. Baby stayed with me. My bestie of 20yr visited me, but I was too doped to entertain. She talked to baby for a while. Whenever I woke up, all I did was to open and close my hands to start working the muscle. That was the most disturbing thing in my mind. Boy was asking me to raise my leg up at least 6cm away from my bed. I did and he asked me how was the numbness. And I said I don’t feel it. But I still was flustered. But baby, I still feel my left hand numbness. How? How am I going to carry and lift the walking frame? How? There were so many hows? How did he expect physio to see me on POD 1. It seemed to far to be true. But ended up, I kinda agreed at 3pm to see the Physiotherapy. But it was too late. So I just said ok. I felt guilty for not agreeing to Physiotherapist.

I met with the night staff. I apologized to them for being such an asshole on the night before. I literally wanted to get out of bed. I wanted to do my own thing. I wanted to be like I was Endoscopic Disckectomy but they didnt allow. ‘They said the doctor didn’t approve. I said I cant find any position to get to rest. I literally slept and woke up every hour. I was sick and tired of being in bed. I turned as much I could but I couldn’t. I suggested for them to put in a drawsheet. It was or usually is placed behind a patient, in between their lower back and their buttock to mid thigh, so that it is easier for them to pull me up. And she did, it worked. I felt better and slept a little easier. But still I wasn’t happy with my numbness. But positive feeling. Half of my arm felt better.

Day 2 POD, I agreed for Physio. The same local nurse looked after me. She was dark skinned, with brownish curls tied up with the same vibe as me. She gave me a personalised feeling And I was still on the IV Morphine and I asked if she could position me propped up less than 90degree to let my body get use to it (one of the nurse was telling me that on my POD 1), and she did. And i complimented her and said some of your nurses didn’t know how to position me the way you did. And it was the best. Thank you for it. And she smiled. I didn’t give her a tough time.

Honestly as a patient, you just need to be told a few hard facts and someone who is firm and yet explaining thing to you that you need to do it this way, otherwise it isn’t going to work.

She gave me my medications and said we are going to remove the Urinary Catheter. Oh shit...I forgot to tell you, Urinary Catheter feeling. When your patient’s tell you that sometimes they feel distended there, it might be true. I felt it like that over the night and I called my friend and she adjusted, the tubing was soft, so it was kinked so the urine was retaining inside my bladder. I was like oh my god. So when she said that she need to remove it ...I was stressed...Oh fuck, I haven’t ambulated. I haven’t pooped for the past 3 days. How am I gonna pee. Oh fuck it la. Just remove it la. Get over and done with it. I got to start somewhere. They removed it and I was still on morphine and small petite Filipina nurse and a big sized Indian lady assisted me to sit up on a dinning chair. And I was telling the small sized Filipina nurse, “are you could handle me? I’m big sized, eh?” and she smiled and said I can. I got positioned on the dinning chair with IV Morphine, they made my bed and all i felt was so sleepy after. So I kept on dozing off on the chair. And I tried my level best to sit for at least 30mins

And I realised that it was 45mins,I called the nurse and said I need to pee. She was this chinese nurse who had uttered nothing but encouraging words. She seemed me local nurse. She assisted me to the toilet and she gave me my space. And it felt good to pee. So I went back to the bed and slept off. The physio came in but I was asleep. So she came back again. The thing about private is, the private treatment that I got which I liked and disliked. I wanted them to wake me up and force me to do physiotherapy and not just lie and sleep away.

So the physio came. She was a chinese short haired lady with spectacles  wore a dark blue polo tee shirt. She got the nurse to disconnect the IV Morphine. And taught me on the log and roll Lumbar corset and  we started to walk. OMG!!!! I walked hand held with her, But I almost swayed. She gripped on me harder and I apologised and said,” It might be morphine still.”She laughed and said its fine. Do you want to brush your teeth or do anything? I was like brush my teeth. I haven’t done that for two full days. And She told me to use a cup to brush my teeth cus I can’t bend. And then we walked outside till about 100-150m. She told me to remember to stand straight. Videos of me walking were going around in my family grps. Hahaha. Standard la. So I kept on ensuring that I need to start moving around. So I didn’t use Morphine from 12pm. And my bestie came with her husband and they talked. But I couldn’t concentrate. I kept on dozing off cus I was probably tired after the walk and the morphine. I apologized and they left and promised to come back again in the later dates. I felt happy. He he. I slept off on the bed. And I didn’t take the Morphine. It was still on the syringe pump.

I spoke to my parents about my day on and off. My mom in law was crying when she saw me walking. It felt good but bad. She cried to see me moving around. Awww. Baby came over to visit me, he brought my mom with him. and we spent a good share of time together. I was getting restless. I wanted to do more. I want to walk more. So we walked. I missed how he smelt. How he was.

I knew my aunt’s were coming. My eldest aunt came over to visit me yesterday but I was so sleepy that I didn’t talk much. The youngest came on my 2nd POD with my dad. I was fresh, I wanted to show them that I was better. But they didn’t come, so I just went in and out of toilet. My mom was glad that I was better. But once my dad came, I kept on moving up and down the bed with the corset. I never removed it. I kept on finding cool spot to sit as it was hot. I was restless and they all said it was cause they gave you so many painkillers, that’s why, n now when you are off them you feel weird. Oh yea, I was off the IV Morphine, the pain was there especially when walking. Pain was 3 at least. But it increased to 4/5 over at the back cus the morphine was wearing off. I got a malay nurse  to remove my IV cannula as it was red and swollen after my IV antibiotics.

I forced fed popiah as I didn’t eat the dinner as it was fish congee, just ate the congee but seriously I just didn’t feel like eating the rest. So my aunty forced me to eat at least 3 popiah pieces and I had my milo and Apple juice. And it was almost 7pm, and my sister in law, M realised that my lower part of my top was soaked, like it was drying up. And she got me to remove my corset and saw that the dressing had gotten soaked. So I got my ex colleague ( worked with her in private hospital), she was a filipina who had reddish brown hair and had permed her hair curly, and had braces on. She always wore a smile whenever attending to anyone. So she said she will change the dressing. She changed the dressing. And everyone left, Mom, dad, phua (aunty) and M left. Cus M had to get a whole new set of clothes and get her jacket. She was already falling sick, she had fever on day 1 of my POD. And honestly, she deserves one blog on its own. I spoke to Baby, And I tried to blog. Thank god, My laptop was there... We spoke at how things were looking good for me. I was happy. I didn’t feel the numbess on my leg nor my left hand. wait there was a little numbness over my left hand. But I was happy to start regaining my normality of my life. I just kept on walking and baby was pushing me why don’t you try to walk unaided without me. Like by holding furniture. I did. And I could. I was even more motivated to get back to how I was

I had gotten depressed over the past few weeks. I didn’t have a life. I felt like it’s best to end my life when my quality of life just sucked. I googled and checked emedicine.net on sciatica pain. People actually still lived with the pain. How could I? I couldn’t. I loved working. I loved every single thing about my job. I wanted my independence. I needed that. And this surgery fixed it. I’m lucky to have seeked a second opinion from the Dr D.

And Girl, whoever wants to go for surgery, please google post operative care plans. Honestly, I can be a sister, a staff nurse or a enrolled nurse when it comes to my treatment plan, I am  a fool. I wouldn’t know what to search or google about. I barely spoke to anyone. Maybe cus I didn’t want to feel like as though I was stupid or making the wrong decisions. But whatever it is, ask if not sure. But we learn from our mistake.

Why am I doing this experience/blog/ediary thingy? It’s for future people’s reference. This things varies from people to people. But whatever it is, at least people get to read it. And whatever it is, always remember to use the proper body mechanics when lifting patient’s or weights. Don’t jeopardize yourself for others or for your body image. Love yourself. No one, I have to repeat myself. No one even my worse enemies should experience this kinda of pain. And now the road to recovery may take 6-12wks. It totally depends on my body.