#4 of these things are true

[teratomatica]

you always land on all fours

[teophan]

a fantastic commission from @themetalhiro of my Dungeons & Devil Fruits 5e Sniper Marksman, Vinsmoke “Starfall Gunner” Beretta!

it was an absolute treat to work with you, looking forward to the next opportunity to do so!

[poke-is-a-dork]

There was something about those posters in hobbyhoo..

[vaguely-concerned]

can't believe garak went from 'hope you have fun following my little breadcrumb trail of maybe-truths doctor it builds character ;)' at the beginning of the show to '*sigh* fuck it here's the whole loaf. the entire fucked up bakery of my soul. if you somehow still wanna have sex with me after this you know where I am, yours in infinite longing etc.' in a stitch in time. has anyone ever been so pathetically horrifically enduringly down bad as garak is for julian (laudatory)

[chimerafeathers]

i know we love to rag on Siffrin for feeling so miserably guilty and manipulative for the crime of [checks notes] “doing nice things for their friends so that they’ll be happy and care about him even if it’s not perfectly sincere on his end”

but like. in context i don’t think that thought process is anywhere near as nonsensical as it always sounds written out like that

i’m sure i’m just stating the obvious here but it’s not really about the “crime” of making people happy. it’s about what he’s not doing, which is anything that would allow their friends to have any real knowledge or agency over the situation they’re all in.

it’s about never acting according to his real feelings in the moment and letting them see the messier version of him that exists now, never allowing their relationships to evolve or develop meaningfully beyond the “safest” iteration, the thing that is Known and produces the Correct Results, because anything else has the possibility of leading to negative emotions towards Siffrin.

Siffrin knows he’s not really doing all this for their benefit, not entirely, because the “right” thing to do would give them the full context to choose how they feel and what to do about it. they’re happy, but in a way they don’t get to keep. they’re happy, but in a way that keeps Siffrin safe from anything more complex and real. they’re happy, but only because some Siffrin in the past said the right things once, and this new, bitter, lonely, desperate version wouldn’t know how to get the “correct result” without a script to follow. they’re happy, and it was real once, it meant something once, but not anymore.

they cared about that Siffrin, yes, but would they still care about this one, if they knew? if Siffrin ever allowed them to know? (he won’t, he can’t, he refuses.)

and there’s something that could have been said in favor of Siffrin allowing himself this “selfishness” if it made him happy anyway, if it could be a genuine source of comfort in a difficult situation—but it doesn’t! not really! because that guilt is there, because that fear is there, because of how flimsy it all inevitably feels.

so they’re not doing it for their family’s benefit, because that happiness is predicated on lies and ignorance. he’s barely doing it for his own benefit, because they’re torturing themself by revealing things they no longer want to reveal, concealing things they no longer want to conceal, acting out of fear of rejection rather than genuine desire for connection. who benefits from this hollow “kindness,” really?

that’s why the last loop had to be the ugliest one. Siffrin had to see that the worst could happen and there could still be love and connection on the other side. that even when the party sees the worst of him, when they have the agency he’s been knowingly denying them, they will still choose to love him.

[laurrelise]

i think something interesting about a domestic life post-apocalypse-prevention for five is that he would most likely struggle to cope with the day-to-day in the same way a lot of newly released prisoners do.

in the sense that going to a store and seeing a huge aisle with 9,000 different deodorant brands can be extremely overwhelming for people adjusting to having options at all, i 100% see him getting silently overwhelmed but not really knowing what to do about it. he’s never really had that kind of choice for himself either.

growing up, everything was hand-picked and given to or done for him. in the apocalypse, there was obviously never a choice to begin with. you find something, you take it and make as much use of it as possible. in the commission, i have to assume he was very limited on the things he owned, because there was no reason to be material (if the commission even allowed for it) when the whole thing was a temporary situation he could use to fix his math.

so imagine a physically thirteen five, fresh out of hotel oblivion and finally having found somewhere to stay, going to a store alone to get toothpaste and shampoo and bread and socks. the essentials. and being silently shocked at the sheer amount of options.

also, five is very bad at not over-analyzing everything. everything has a purpose and a motive and a rule of life in his head. i imagine that deciding on something as simple as which coffee maker will be most efficient could feel like life or death to someone who’s never had an option before.

[reunitedinterlude]

countdown to phil’s 38th bday - a year in review [8/30]

red-hot phil

[purpleleavesday]

BY THE WAY this is what gumshoe says if you present him mia's profile in stolen turnabout

IT MADE ME GO SO INSANE. AAAAAAGHHHH I LOVE THIS GAME

[why-the-heck-not]

seems like 9h is my brain's "dude fuck u, we're done with coding for the day"-limit

[girbirty]

idk what they are and it's safe to assume they don't either actually

[ube-bluebay]

i have a problem

really long rambling in tags

[whateverisbeautiful]

The

Only

Time

I

Feel

Safe

Is

When

I’m

With

You

[exandrianpunk]

ah yes, the protagonists of wwwo: the wizard sous vide, amy the witch, and ursula salon the wild one

[felassan]

I read a couple of your posts angry at Solas about Felassan, and thought, "wow, this guy really loves Felassan"

then I scrolled and was reminded what your username was.

hello! ◕‿◕

stanning felassan and being _(:3」∠)_ about his death since 2014

edit: 💀..

[vaguely-concerned]

seeing people claim that lucanis is 'bad representation' is hilarious to me because in so many ways he's really the closest anything has ever gotten to capturing my own personal experience. sorry for being bad real life queer and mental health/neurodiversity representation folks 😔 I'll take time to reflect and do some work on myself and try to do better in the future

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

True North is You.