#500 treasonous monkeys

[o5-10]

They have a phone dedicated almost exclusively to getting food, but they still had a very big yam accidentally delivered to me by UberEATS, and also still got it so wrong they almost died of scurvy before Six got to have his fun. Amazing.

[anandasumisu]

The Inconsistencies of Pig

Hey there readers! This is the 2nd part of my Kera Sakti rant. If you haven’t seen the first one, I heavily recommended you to read it here: http://smithanandari.tumblr.com/post/155676317158/my-kera-sakti-phase-is-back-again-no-surprise

So as I said in the previous part, this part will be talking much about The Pig’s character’s inconsistencies through the entire series of Kera Sakti (I and II. I refuse to acknowledge the existence of Kera Sakti III because it is not a sequel to TVB’s Journey to The West series. It’s Taiwanese production titled Monkey King: Quest for Sutra, for God’s sake). If you’ve seen the series, I believe you found it too! As fan of The Pig, I noticed a lot of character changes. Some might due to character building but some of them are just… off. It kinda started from the episodes of Spider Demon arc, and gets worse in the sequel (Kera Sakti II). Here’s my breakdown.

As for the start, I must be talking about episodes of The Pig’s early life. Here, the series creator makes a crazy (but damn good) move by altering what the original book provides (An officer who harass a heavenly deities then banished from heaven). They added this superb story: He was Heavenly Commander Tian Peng who has fallen deeply in love towards a beautiful celestial lady, called Chang Er, who has mutual love with other officer named Wu Kang instead. These episodes show Tian Peng as a much powerful man with lower-ranked rival having the love from his sunshine. It’s just like Count di Luna from opera Il Trovatore who has fiery love inside his body for beloved Leonora, who loves rebel Manrico instead. But interestingly, unlike di Luna, Commander Tian Peng doesn’t fight for his love openly to his rival Wu Kang. He tries backdoor ways to get her. The most notable one is where he turns back time several times to save her first but fails every time. Here’s this character’s comedic root shows up. I enjoy these awkward yet funny scenes so much. Knowing these acts, the heavenly emperor got furious and punish Tian Peng because heavenly deities are forbidden to love (and because basically he’s about to make a fucking Flashpoint). His punishment? The ultimate thousand of love tragedies!

From low-ranked officer, to heavenly commander in charge of 80,000 navy soldiers, to a mere human who keeps getting trouble from love. That is the next part of the series about. The series shows audience some of >500 life he has lived during the punishment, for example a story where he’s a high commander who falls deeply in love with princess from enemy’s country he’s been fighting in war. He then sentenced to death for treason, just like Captain Radamès in Aida (wait, is this series’ script writer a fan of Giuseppe Verdi?) At a point he accidentally reincarnated to the wrong realm and ended up being unsightly humanoid pig who somehow still having heartbreak stories (Goddamnit Yue Lau). My personal favourite is the day he parted ways with his wife back in Gao Village before starting the journey with Tan San Zang. He has a poem (I’ve read from another source that this poem belongs to Chinese poet Li Bai) that he likes to recite at the end of each tragedies:

“多情自古空餘恨  (Duōqíng zìgǔ kòngyú hèn)

此恨綿綿無絕期 (cǐ hèn miánmián wú jué qī)  ”

Or in English (from JTTW’s English Hardsub):

“I am overwhelmed by love in emptiness and resentment condition.

I only resend all these years that goes on without end.”

Or more famously known by Indonesian as “Sejak dulu beginilah cinta. Deritanya tiada akhir.”

(Thank you, Google Translate)

These scenes, despite being relatively small in running time in comparison to Wu Kong’s intro story, is powerful enough to show the audience the quality of Tian Peng/Ba Jie worth adored. Us, the audience, are served with dramatic ugly tears and painful feelings. From these, we see him as a hopeless romantic who lost everything he had just because he is too deep in love with someone! He might look funny at times (mind you, this is a comedy series) but the pain, God, the audience can feel the pain! Maybe this is why I found some of these scenes disturbing when I was a kid. I was expecting fun stuff from comedy series, but is served with a man showing his agony. But as a young adult, damn, I find it as some of the best moments from the series.

Then the scriptwriter(s) goes confused. In the Red Boy-Dream Demon duo arc, they made The Pig as a major pervert! He does some sexual harassment (for sake of comedy) instead of just looking at ladies in gently manner (and flapping ears, hahahaha). Maybe it’s because the borderline between ladies man and pervert is kind of hazy. In this arc he puts himself as a coward, but would sacrifice himself for his master. He has a small fighting scene (which will be never seen again, sigh…), is cunning (even though not all of his ideas work in solving the problems), and at times, helpful. He also in good terms with Wu Kong, even though Wu Kong plays him a little. 

In the White Skeleton Spirit arc, he kind of had enough with Wu Kong and San Zang and then decided to be a dick towards them. He fights poorly (Ow come on! He was a commander back in the day, ffs!) but here, we can see him again becoming a gentle hopeless romantic lad, who in the end gets another agonizing heartbreak. There’s this inconsistency worth mentioned: In the earlier episodes, Ba Jie tends to use a disguise when interacting with ordinary people, so we can conclude that he’s not really confident with his physical appearance. (A bold move from the series creator since Book Ba Jie is SO DAMN CONFIDENT with his ugly-ass face). But in some scenes he doesn’t really mind facing the public without disguise, then back again being shy by insisting to his master to let him show himself as a well-dressed scholar (which the master refuses). There are lots of scenes in this arc showing Ba Jie uses veil to cover himself. But after the resolution of the arc, it is shown that he throws away his veil, accepting the fact about his looks. This scene tries its best to justify this particular inconsistency.

The small arc of Three Taoist doesn’t say much. Just showing him as a show-off and his dynamic with fellow disciples. Fun episodes, though. The Spider Demon arc is not really my favorite. It’s draggy and doesn’t do much with the pilgrim’s dynamic. It focuses on the Spider Demons’ own problem instead. There’s some development of The Pig, though. He still is looking at beauties but tries his best to look away. But really, there’s nothing in this arc. The Women Country arc is kind of a bummer to the Pig’s character too. He’s shown as a one dimensional character. Egotistical, that’s it. These episodes supposed to be able to show the dynamics of four characters but I just saw it as a random mess caused by babies. It ended the series with confusion.

Now where it goes far down, The Kera Sakti II series. BY GOD it has the funniest moments, but has none of the character complexity of its predecessor. I laughed my ass off watching some scenes but really, I feel empty watching it. Despite its fun dynamics between the four pilgrims, almost all of the arc is draggy (especially you, yes, I’m looking at you, Tung Bei Monkey arc). I don’t know whether or not the production changed the entire writer and/or director because The Pig character is just shown as a mere clown of the series. He’s not cunning, he’s plain stupid! He’s obscene, dim-witted, a poorly-skilled fighter, and whiny baby. It’s REALLY different from the previous rendition, even though it’s played by same actor (well, this concludes that Wayne Lai is a volatile actor *clapping hands confusedly*) Hell, even there’s a scene where he says “Well, how do I supposed to know, I’m just a pig.” WHAT IN THE HELL WAS THAT?  I hate this character. I know he’s funny af (so many funny scenes of him!) but that is not how The Pig is presented in the previous series. The presentation that made me fell for him (Sighs…) I think what happened in Kera Sakti II is, the series creator tried to adjust Ba Jie’s character towards its original (book) because the love tragedies never really happened again on him in this sequel and the famous poem becomes a mere tagline.

So that’s about it. From this post you kinda get the inconsistencies of the most humane character in Kera Sakti throughout the series. Maybe it’s just me being picky on things but it’s just my two cents (with this long-ass writing I should say four dollars). Has any of you thought the same? Or maybe you found other kinds of inconsistencies throughout the series? I would like to know and believe me, I like reading long-ass article!

Nevertheless, this Kera Sakti series is timeless. I’m about to re-watch some of it right now!

[bangkokjacknews]

The Real Story of Little Jack Horner

Little Jack Horner Sat in a corner Eating a Christmas pie; He put in his thumb And pulled out a plum And said, ‘What a good boy am I!’ Before the Dissolution of the Monasteries in 1536 there were more than eight hundred religious foundations in England with over 16,000 monks and nuns. During the following five years, they were all seized by the Crown and their land and buildings were either sold off or gifted to supporters of the king. One of the last to go was the ancient Benedictine abbey of Glastonbury and the tale of its own dissolution is said to supply the origin of this rhyme. The Abbot of Glastonbury at the time was Richard Whyting, a rich and powerful figure who had been a signatory to the First Act of Supremacy (1534) granting King Henry VIII the legal authority as head of the Church of England. This was an outright rejection of the power of Catholicism and allowed the king to divorce and marry again. Despite choosing the king over the Pope, a basic requirement for keeping one’s head in sixteenth-century England, Whyting resisted the dissolution of Glastonbury Abbey for as long as possible. It wasn’t just that it was one of the wealthiest in the kingdom, it was also a place of huge religious significance. The abbey was allegedly founded by Jesus’s Joseph of Arimathea – the man who donated his tomb for the burial of Christ’s body after the Crucifixion – to house the Holy Grail. Joseph is said to have arrived by boat over the flooded Somerset Levels; disembarking at Glastonbury Tor, he stuck his staff into the ground, which flowered miraculously into the Holy Thorn (legend has it that the tree still bursts into bloom every year on Christmas Day). The colourful story was widely believed, Elizabeth I using it as evidence that Christianity in England pre-dated the introduction of Roman Catholicism, thus legitimizing her role as Defender of the Faith. Whyting chose to placate, some might say bribe, the king. He sent his steward, Thomas Horner, to Hampton Court with the deeds to twelve manor houses, concealed beneath the crust of a large pie, posing as a gift. In those days, during property transactions, it was not uncommon for the deeds to be hidden or concealed in transit to ensure they would not fall into the wrong hands, as the actual holder of the deeds was deemed the rightful owner.

Mells Manor in Somerset On the way, legend has it, Thomas Horner delved into the pie and pulled out the deed for a plum piece of real estate, Mells Manor House in the village of Mells, Somerset. And that, apparently, is all he needed to do to become the new lord of that manor. But the bribe failed and in January 1539 Henry’s chief minister, Thomas Cromwell, sent his royal commissioners to Glastonbury to see for themselves what was actually going on down in darkest Somerset. As a result of what they found, Whyting was sent to the Tower of London so that Cromwell could question the Abbot in person, and from there he was returned to Glastonbury on 14 November 1539. The following day he was tried for treason, with Thomas Horner as one of the jurors, and found guilty within only a few hours. That afternoon, Richard Whyting and two of his senior monks, Roger James and John Thorne, were dragged by horses to the top of Glastonbury Tor, where they were hanged, drawn and quartered. Abbot Whyting’s head was then displayed above the gates of the deserted abbey as a reminder to others to obey the king without question. Meanwhile Thomas Horner was presumably busy making his removal arrangements. Unsurprisingly, the descendants of Thomas Horner, who still live at Mells Manor, dismiss the legend as ‘pure fantasy made up by the Victorians’. Jack’s honesty, it is claimed, is supported by John Leland’s Itinerary (1540–46), a study of ancient buildings and monuments presented to Henry in 1549 that states: ‘Mr. Horner hath boute the lordship of the King.’ An alternative account suggests that the king gifted the manor to Horner and that the original title deed, bearing the royal seal, survives in the family’s possession to this day. Note: During the 1500s, the slang term for £1,000 was ‘plum’, just as in modern terms a ‘score’ is £20 and a ‘monkey’ £500. Back in the sixteenth century, £1,000 was a seriously large sum of money, as well as being the fixed amount some politicians received for taking on certain government roles. This was considered by the average person as a vast sum of money for doing very little, and that is why these posts became known as ‘plum jobs’ or ‘plum roles’. The expression ‘plum’ has been used ever since to describe anything of great value that is usually gifted rather than earned. - Albert Jack Albert Jack AUDIOBOOKS available for download here

Pop Goes the Weasel – Nursery Rhyme History Buy Now Audio Books Other Platforms Assorted eBooks Read the full article

[sensitivefern]

Prohibitionists included not merely reactionaries... but large numbers of political progressives. Prohibition had long been linked to reform – to abolition or women’s suffrage or the fight for municipal good government. Progressives demanded not only trust-busting, better working conditions, safer food and drugs, and direct democracy; they also wanted moral uplift. Racetracks, prize fights, casinos, and brothels were shuttered, narcotics regulated. Booze was next. Temperance forces flooded the nation with anti-alcohol pamphlets, songs, plays, posters, and books. In 1905, only three states had enacted prohibition; by 1912, nine; by 1916, twenty-six. By 1919, thirty-three states plus Alaska, Puerto Rico, and the District of Columbia were dry.

[1920]

===

The Whitman land – once a tract of five hundred good acres with a great orchard of twenty – was on the North Shore at West Hills in Suffolk County, sloping south and east, and about three or four miles south of Huntington harbor... This North Shore country is really an extension of Connecticut. The intervening waters of Long Island Sound, only about ten miles across, separate hilly, glacier-scoured Connecticut from the great terminal moraine which became Long Island.

[Henry Seidel Canby]

===

And now... this Hebrew Jupiter decides to drown everything he has made save the Hebrew Deucalion, Noah and his crew. How he is going to drown the fishes we are not told. To them a flood would be a red-letter day... And here we come to another absurdity, the ark. God tells Noah to build it and also how to build it. Can you imagine the Creator of the universe, as religion sees him, teaching a man how to build a boat?... [...] According to some, the Hebrew cubit was only 18 inches, others say 20. Even with the latter, the ark would be only 500 feet. Into this Noah put eight people, two or seven of every animal species, and sufficient provisions for one hundred fifty days; another account says one year. And for ventilation there was only one little window twenty inches square. The absurdity here is so great, I suspect it was meant as a hint for us to do a little thinking. But as stated elsewhere, Western man is incapable of thinking in the abstract or recognizing mythic symbolism. Yet consider the absurdity of its literalism. The fauna of the Middle East is not extensive. Where then did Noah get two or seven of every living creature? Did he go to Australia for the kangaroos, to the Arctic for the polar bears, and to the Antarctic for the penguins? And how many dinosaurs did he have aboard?

There is only one thing big enough to accommodate all the creatures of the earth and that is the earth itself.

[Deceptions and Myths of the Bible]

===

bowman’s root | Gillenia trifoliata Zones 4-7... full sun with a bit of afternoon relief... propagate by seed; easy... cold-stratify for 3 months... ‘bowman’ refers to Native Americans, who used the root to fortify their strength when preparing to torture and immolate captives...

dogtooth daisy | Helenium autumnale The leaves are rough, serrated, and alternate; the base of the leaves ‘run down the stem at the point of attachment; this decurrent habit makes the continuous leaf bases look like wings on the stem’... zones 3-8...

[Armitage’s Native Plants]

===

blue bottle flies | Calliphoridae During their larval (‘maggot’) stage, these creatures eat carrion, detritus, and feces... this reality does not ‘endear them’ to ignorant folk, but they ‘play an important role in cycling nutrients and keeping the world clean’... in the adult stage, they visit the neighborhood flowers and can be easily recognized by ‘their metallic blue abdomens and somewhat hairy bodies’... blue bottle flies are sold by commerce...

The Federal Seed Act mandates that hybrid seeds be labeled as hybrid, or F1; thus ‘any seed varieties not listed as hybrid or F1 are, by default, open-pollinated’...

[The Seed Garden]

===

stone root | Collinsonia canadensis Native to North America; from Ontario to down Florida way... to 4 ft. ... perennial... flowers and foliage have a lemony scent when crushed... sun, part shade... propagate by seed or root division – said roots are stone-like... they used to cure people of their hemorrhoids... aka knob-root, horsebalm, horseweed, clergyman’s friend...

===

❚Mama Dog Begs, Brings Food Back to Pups I was about to start bawling until I saw this. Now I am bawling because my heart is full of feelz and funnies

war pigs black sabbath lyrics

The 70 year old pig person that eats off of this gold-plated table is eliminating funding for Meals on Wheels. Great work, America.

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'Coach' Dave Ain't Never Had No Need for Book Learnin'

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John Van de Kamp, Former Prosecutor in California, Dies at 81 As district attorney in Los Angeles, Mr. Van de Kamp prosecuted the Hillside Strangler case; he was also the state’s attorney general and ran for governor in 1990.

Jupiter Is a Jerk The biggest bully in the solar system has been wreaking havoc since the day it was born.

A high carbohydrate diet of rice, plantain, manioc and corn, with a small amount of wild game and fish – plus around six hours’ exercise every day – has given the Tsimané people of the Bolivian Amazon the healthiest hearts in the world. It may not be a life that everyone would choose. The Tsimané live in thatched huts with no electricity or modern conveniences. Their lives are spent on hunts that can last for over eight hours covering 18km for wild deer, monkeys or tapir and clearing large areas of primal forest with an axe, as well as the gentler pastime of gathering berries. But as a result of this pre-industrial lifestyle, the Tsimané have hardly any hardening of the arteries. Heart attacks and strokes, the biggest killers in the US and Europe, are almost unknown.

Twitter Lights Up After 'Too Embarrassing to Watch' Trump-Merkel Press Conference - President Donald Trump slipped up and called the U.S. a "company," ignored German Chancellor Angela Merkel's request for a handshake, and called a German press outlet "fake news"

[o5-10]

I just looked at the message history with the Insurgency. I'm not going to go over most of it, as a lot of it consists of bizarre bargaining attempts that don't matter at all, but I am withering away on account of not only saying things pertaining to my personal life intended for a different recipient than the one who ended up responding (I can elaborate if desired, but the story is irrelevant at this time), but also having been asked follow-up questions and responding to them with some degree of honesty. I also know that I said something to maintain my image, which I informed Six of, and Six, in his infinite wisdom, responded by sending his own message to the Insurgency, intended for the same recipient, with contradictory information to maintain his image. I am in agony in perpetuity because I made the very stupid decision, nearly six (6) years ago, to impulsively tell an Insurgent about my sex life, and I have absolutely no one to blame but myself.

[o5-10]

Man... goobers. How odd to hate the Foundation but be really into one of the guys in charge

It's miserable, because they know things I did not mean to tell them about him, specifically. My life is a nightmare. Eleven mentioned the cell nearest to me, before they ended up in that pocket dimension, and their voting they held publicly, she did not mention that the results were very fascinating, with Kondraki and one N. A. Powers winning, but the latter was absolutely one of Eleven's faces, which I am sure was not a known quantity, and Four also ranked relatively high. I mention this to illustrate that I don't really have much faith in their lower level operatives to hold their alleged animosity toward us with any sincerity. I think they are too much whatever makes them the way that they are to really hold meaningful hatred for us.

[o5-10]

Obviously, I have been largely indisposed of late, and I will not be discussing why, it is one of those things one would colloquially say could not be waterboarded out of them. However, I have been rendered temporarily unable to complete my desired tasks as a direct result of remembering, miserably, that the Insurgency has a covert fan club devoted entirely to my partner. They have photos of his (clothed) ass that I have been made aware of against my will, and, most horrifically, I have given them information about my partner directly halfway on accident, halfway on impulse. If we ever discover a way one can have a proper second try at certain events without ending up like Thirteen, though he doesn't seem to truly have a first try at things either sometimes, that would be very high on my list of actions I would like to change.

[o5-10]

Excerpt Of Chat Log Between O5-10 and Gamma Captain Bobby Liu

O5-10: She won't die if you either surrender like a normal person, or leave us to our shelter.

O5-10: That isn't me threatening her. It's a fact. You have the ability to make this simple. If she gets hurt, it will be your men, and ultimately you, behind the trigger.

Liu: i

Liu: i will do what has to be done.

O5-10: And what "has to" be done, Liu? If you are being in any way honest, what "has to" be done? You won't be alive to face the consequences either way. Won't be alive to face the disappointment of your peers, nor alive to feel the crushing weight of guilt. It's a choice that has no consequences for you. So what "has to" happen, according to Bobby Liu.

Liu: you and i will both hv to see when hte time comes. take your fair warnign, ten.

O5-10: And you call us cowardly, and amoral. Amazing.

O5-10: You can't even come out and say it, can you?

O5-10: I can say it for you, if you'd like. All your apologies, your claims to want to "make it right" are flimsy lies. Maybe you wanted to die with a slightly clearer conscience, maybe you wanted to die with one person not despising you, who knows. It's entirely selfish either way. You're not getting a clearer conscience. You're going to die knowing exactly what you are, if I have any say in it. You are a cowardly liar who can't even own up to the fact that he, if anything you have said was honest, went against what he knew was morally correct for a goal that, in the end, failed. You're a failure, and even in your death you manage to disappoint everyone, even yourself. You never cared about Nina Newport. You only care about yourself.

O5-10: Your begging for your Alphas, too. If you do what we know you will, do you really think that won't affect the response? Of course, you know. You know that the agreement was your surrender. You break your end, then we have absolutely no reason to uphold ours. You want to be a martyr so badly that you drag every single value you claim you have into the mud, just so you can be remembered as some kind of hero. You won't be, by either side. You'll be remembered as a traitor by both sides. You'll be remembered as someone who brought unspeakable retribution down on everyone, because you decided, in your last moments, to enrage an already kicked hornets' nest. You could easily benefit every single person you claim to care about by coming peacefully. Instead, you have intention of not doing that, for no gain. It would be so damn simple. The reason you can't even spit it out, that you plan to do what we braced for, that's because you know I'm right. You know this is just you being a selfish, pitiful worm. You know it, and you don't want to own up to the fact that you're doing the wrong thing, for everyone.

Liu: regardless of everythign, i know what i am, and nothign will make me better or worse than what that is.

Liu: anyway, no time to worry bout that nw.

O5-10: You could come peacefully, that would be one thing to make you better. To ensure what you claim you want. But you're just going to slam your hands over your ears to the bitter end. God, I want to see you burn.

O5-10: I thought I would never actually, and in all sincerity, undeniably want someone dead and feel no conflict over it. Yet you managed.

O5-10: I'm actually *glad* he's the one doing it. That's something else I never thought I would feel.

[o5-10]

More of you should use the whole fish in a barrel tactic like that and make things easier. <3

- Many, many, many Insurgencies.

We will not be doing that. Hope this helps.

[o5-10]

What did it say?

This was the one sent to me:

This was the one sent to Mr. Sparks:

No one liked it.

[o5-10]

i don’t think i will, actually.

condolences,

- the insurgency

I'm choosing to believe that you do not know what "condolences" means and think it is an insult.

[o5-10]

no. you’ll have to try harder to entrap us, foundation scum.

condolences,

- the insurgency

No, explain to me why you are sending condolences.

[o5-10]

we’ve killed you once and we could do it again. we won’t even make it a cool death this time. it’ll be something stupid instead so that if you survive it again, it’ll be really embarrassing for you to admit you died that way.

condolences,

- the insurgency

Meet me in the fucking pit.

[o5-10]

booo, turn to dust faster you old hag.

condolences,

- the insurgency

Are you fucking kidding me. Are we being serious right now?

[o5-10]

This is the best photo I have seen for scale of the ant. I apologize that Gamma Operative Bobby Liu is in it.

[o5-10]

Wait, I'm going to need more context behind that statement-

They tried to take me down, and ended up kicking off my romantic entanglement instead.