#AND NCT DREAMS DREAMSCAPE | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

technologyculturedneo · 11 days

Text

icantfeelanything. Lee Donghyuck

“I don’t want to leave him! He’s mine and I am his!”

PAIRING(s). Donghyuck X Reader X Chenle

SUMMARY. Your whole world comes to an end when your knocked over by a car and are proclaimed dead. Yet you wake up in a different space, your boyfriend, Donghyuck’s mind. You are met with a furious ‘Memory Keeper’ Mr Zhong who tries to force you out. You’re reluctant to leave simply because he wants Donghyuck to move on from losing you. However, that is something you refuse to do as long as you're in his mind.

-Dreamscape Masterlist-

20:36 p.m.

It happens quickly. So quick that only a second goes by. So swiftly that you watch your soul fighting to remain intact to your body.

One minute you're running across the street with the biggest grin on your face, without any fear in the quiet road. The next moment your body is collided by such brute force that instantly you feel the cracks and punctures piercing out through your bone and body. Surging- high up in the air bitterly painful but beautifully dead- in pain you hear a splat sound as you fall and hit the pavement floors! It takes a millisecond to lose sight, but you see red. Your vision goes blurry, your eyelids shut involuntarily, your rapture your ears- eardrums beating promptly and briskly only causing you to hear muffling sounds. A spike sound has your heartbeat pounding so loud that your ears fight not to burst. Through it all, through this moment… that moment on the cold night, the paved road, you make out your boyfriend's state of worry. But even though you hear him... your body can't move.

Hyuck...

Parched lips, blood over your eyes, shivering with pain bruising all over your body. Your flickering eyes and palpable sense of lack in body motions has you worried – especially when you see your own steadfast boyfriend rushing to your side in panic and horror.

"You're going....to...ok-"

Your mind goes blank. Quiet. That quiet is scary as you fight to open your eyes. Nothing but pain spikes your attention again.

When you open your eyes again, you're almost blinded by all the light. Hyuck…

You’re confused to see his tears, to hear his voice that's fading in and out of your ears. It’s painful. You just want to close your eyes, but the sight of the heavy tears rolling down his eyes has you… fighting. He’s crying hysterically moving his lips in haste, talking words you can’t hear. The pain is too much. Your heart strains, but you can’t find the strength to open your heavy eyes and look at him anymore. Your heart beating hysterically.

No.

Your mind gets blurry each and every time you try to open your eyes. But all you can see aside from waves of dizziness and blood, is your boyfriend. Broken and just so… broken. Hyuck… You try to move your hand, but it’s heavy. You try to move your lips, but their sore. You try to lift your head but you can’t feel nothing but the pain, you TRY to do something! You try so hard to even catch a beat of your heart, but your body doesn’t respond, your mind feels detached, your whole soul feels light as it leaves your body! No!- you only see his tears when you close your eyes after fighting for so long. A single stream leaves your own eye.

Donghyuck runs rapidly by the nurses’ side pushing forward the trolley bed with your unconscious body. He holds onto your bloodied hand unable to control his breathing. The tears are just as fast as his words, and his legs levitate with the speed he’s at. “You’re okay, you’re okay. You’re going to be okay, just hold on, hold on baby. Please hold on. Don’t leave, don’t leave. Please stay, please stay, baby please. I’m here, I’m here, I’m right here, please be okay, please please please, please- PLEASE!”

“I’m sorry sir, but you can’t go past this point,” A nurse cuts him from your hand, holding him back with another nurse trying to restrain his movements while the other nurses continue to hurry in pushing the trolley forward.

“Please you- I need to be there! I need to be by her side-” Donghyuck’s legs that try to get past the nurse becomes heavy and he thumps down on the ground watching your bed disappear after turning a corner. He barely shouts out clinging to his shirt that's bloodied and hands stained with your blood. He can only see red. He's finding it hard to breathe, his chest feels tight, his breathing is irregular and the damn tears won’t stop flowing out his eyes.

The nurses’ voices fade away when he recalls all that happened just hours ago. He heard your yelp seconds before the accident. One second, you were there grinning and running to him, and out of nowhere your body was suddenly ‘kicked’ high in the cold dark air- flying like a ball with such speed he only saw in cartoons. His soul felt like it had been struck by lightning, because the moment he ran- he felt as though he would burn and die by how fast he got to you. His only priority was you – there was nothing else in his head but your wellbeing. The flying image of your body, the excruciating sound he heard when the car almost drove over your lifeless body, and how your hands struggled to hold onto him, made him hysterical.

"Please Y/n, you can't die. Stay."

You had to survive, you had to survive for him. You had to survive, you couldn’t just go, you couldn’t just go like that. There was so much that was left unsaid, so many feelings he wanted to express to you. So many things he wanted to share with you. You had to survive because of all the things you and him had planned out. He only had you in his life. He only had you.

With haste again, Donghyuck runs to the seriously firm and sturdy Doctor that approaches him. The doctor notices the dried blood stains over Donghyuck's shirt (possibly your blood) and he can tell that he might be the boyfriend that the nurse told him about. The doctor can see the trauma going through Donghyuck's eyes covered in a failing smile.

“Yes Doctor? How is she? She’s fine right? She’s okay right? S-she’s fine, I know she is. She’s a survivor. She’s a fighter, she’s my girl, she can’t die. She’s okay right. Oh my god, I knew it. Good because her brother, her brother is here-”

Donghyuck rambles on with an anxious positive spirit. He was positive that you survived, because he knew you, you weren’t the type to go down without fighting, fighting for life…fighting for him. The doctor watches on with a stale face but it slowly falls away and becomes filled with dismay and melancholy. He watches how Donghyuck has a wounded smile, with tears that prickle underneath his eyes, as he motions for Mark to come over. The doctor and Mark both see right through Donghyuck’s smile for the pain that’s truly building up in him.

“Mark, Mark, please come. Please tell the Doctor about your sister, she’s incredible and is alive, right?” Donghyuck prompts, avoiding the Doctor’s eyes that already said the words he didn't want to hear.

Donghyuck grins brightly at the doctor, the tears already falling down his eyes.

“Doctor, why aren’t you saying anything? Please say something. Tell us good news,”

Donghyuck’s smile twitches as he stares at the Doctor. His tongue begins to heavily tremble, when the male Doctor looks down.

As if possessed Donghyuck grabs onto the Doctor’s shoulders. “SAY SOMETHING! GODDAMNIT SPEAK! FUCK! SAY SHE’S ALIVE! PLEASE- please, please, please-“ Donghyuck’s words fade away as he clings onto the Doctor’s coat shutting his eyes tightly knowing very well that he won’t be hearing those words tonight… he won’t be hearing those words ever. “This can’t be… This can’t happen… Y/n… doctor please tell me you saved her. Please tell me you tried to save her… doctor…” Donghyuck drops to the ground, tears rushing out like a flood gate. His hands hit the floor as he buries his head on his hands as he cries out your name.

Mark not having enough energy is already seated on the bench, with a headache forming in his head from holding in his tears. His eyes are red and sting, tears ready to spill and overflow, his jaw feels strangled as the veins pump in heaps of pain. He lays his head in his hands fighting back with waves of crushing emotions swerving all over him. Donghyuck was already in a ball on the floor wailing out for his dear life- Mark is seconds away from letting his guard down but he tightly guards his trembling lips because he has to be the stronger person. But how could he be strong when hearing this news… He scoffs they didn’t even hear the news, hearing the words would just be too painful. You’re gone. Mark holds himself back as he realizes that he has no little sister anymore. You’re gone. You’re… gone.

“My deepest condolence for your loss.” Lifting his head up when feeling a brisk hand on his shoulder, his teary eyes peek up to the Doctor who’s already looking down at him, a coat of dejection and despair looming over him. “Your sister was as the young fellow said, she was exactly strong and did put up a fight. You’re allowed in her room for some days. If possible we'd appreciate it if you signed her release papers. There was nothing I could do to save her, for that, I apologize.”

“Oh god. She’s here!”

“Is she really here? Should we inform headquarters?”

“She’s truly stunning, I can’t believe she’s here,”

“But what is she doing here?”

“She’s not supposed to be here.”

Sound morphs all around you allowing you to hear voices around you. Your eyes are frozen literally, as if your body is trying to understand why it’s not feeling pain anymore. Nothing hurts. You try to make out the voices, yet you know none of them. Your conscious attention is directed to something else when you can feel… some sort of liquid being poured over your toes. Your breath hitches in your throat shutting out all the voices as you try to focus on whatever is being poured over your body. With trembling lips, you feel your knees and ankles buckle when the liquid substance pours over. It’s cold and it clings to your legs, your torso, your breast, your arms- everything gets soaked into the liquid goo and eventually your neck and head and even hair get smeared with the clinging liquid squeezing your body shut. You feel suffocated and chills all over your body. After a daunting time you struggle to breathe!- your body finally trembles and you can feel every inch of your figure and every movement of your fingers. Your eyes fly open as you sharply huff in a large intake of air.

Those around your figure stand by with some wet towels, dry towels and a robe. They watch your clear slime covered figure breaking out of the yoke you were in. You’re wet and nude as you shoot up on the white operating table panting for your dear life. They stand in astonishment watching you in awe, at how breathtaking you look.

You cough out trying to get rid of the odd liquid substance that entered your mouth. Your eyes are struck by the blinding yellow of the room you’re in- and the weird goo. You see three ladies in the room and you can’t stop trying to breathe as your breath feels short and unstable. “Why can’t I breathe?”

You're short of breath yet again when you look down to see the gooey slime all over your body. Shrieking out of the white mattress the ladies follow you and so does the gooey white slime. The slime falls off of you and your stunned that you’re bare and exposed. A squeak leaves your lips when the ladies scramble to you quickly wiping you and cleaning you up. You quiver in fear but stay still out of shock as they continue to clean you up and assure you that everything is alright.

However that doesn’t seem to be the case when your head snaps to the side watching as the door fiercely opens up and with heavy propelled steps, a figure stands in all black. Your frantic eyes are sharply on the male figure that enters the room with sharp eyes of vexation. Your arms quick in reflex cover up your exposed breast, but the ladies around you are faster in getting a grip of your hands trying to clean you with the wet towels and dry towels. “Hey-” your side tracked when seeing the ladies faces… Donghyuck? They look like your boyfriend but in different colored wigs.

This was supposed to be simple, with you waking up, coming out of your yoke, sitting up and calmly being cleaned up. Normal procedures for the ladies in white, yet they're stunned and muzzled by your befuddlement and the entrance of a presence that’s not supposed to be here.

“Mr Zhong,” The main nurse steps forward bowing to him. “You’re here.” Is all she can manage to say. Why was he here? What was he doing here? What did he want? He’s not supposed to be here during clean up- not even that, seeing him out of the main core center is unusual.

“What the hell are you doing here?” His question and devious tone is not aimed at the nurse or other cleaners. No, it’s aimed at you. You simply stare at him quivering back in fear with every step he takes. You’re just as frightened and confused like the other nurses, but you’re more on the alarmed side.

Where were you? And what is going on- what is going on?

Mr Zhong stands in front of you, his being towering your bare trembling body. Your eyes are on his harsh dark eyes as you watch his own irked eyes move down your body. Your hands are too afraid to cover up so you let him take in your nude body that’s been cleaned up.

“Answer me.” He whispers making chills run down your spine- his voice rises again so loud that you jump. “What are you doing here!?”

You cower your eyes looking down trying to hold yourself from exploding into a scared cry. “I don’t know- I don’t know where I am. I don’t know anything. I just woke up! I think I hit my head or something and-”

“Mr Zhong she just woke up from her yolk. She’s disoriented and her memory is still foggy. If you give us a few minutes we’ll get her in-”

“Where’s Hyuck?” Your soft voice speaks up as his eyes suddenly come up into your eyes. You were at a hospital the last you remember with Donghyuck… you were in an accident. “Where is he?”

“Oh god.” Mr Zhong rolls his eyes shut in irritation as he runs his hand through his hair. “Get her cleaned up right now will you? Why is it taking so long?”

The nurses are quick to clean you up, applying some lotion for your body and even massaging your shoulders and head, scraping your skull with deep fingers calming you down. You feel like you’re being given a free spa treatment, when they wrap your body in a robe. They make you perform some balance test, asking you move your head left and right, if you can stand on your right leg and left leg, they dress you up in a white bra, a white vest and finally a white shirt, paired with white underwear and a white skirt. You feel comfortable amongst the ladies who strangely look like Donghyuck. Nonetheless you ignore the male figure in a black suit eyeing everything that they’re doing.

Are you dreaming? Did you hit your head?

His eyes are shamelessly glaring you down as the ladies pamper you up with sweet calming words that meant absolutely nothing to him. You were here and if you were here, it only meant trouble.

“Alright. You’re all cleaned up.” The three nurses stand in front of you bowing, before returning to their natural smiles. You don’t understand why you had to be cleaned up and why these ladies even looked like Donghyuck. In fact, where is-

“Where’s Donghyuck?” You ask.

The smiles slowly slip from their lips looking to each other.

“She’s a spirit.” Your eyes turn to Mr Zhong seated on the chair watching you with such distaste that you instantly look away. “A lover.” Why is he looking at you with such anger? And what is a lover?

“A lover?” The mentions of a lover floats around the air on different lips of the nurses as you look around the yellow space.

“I need to get back to Hyuck,”

“No.” Mr Zhong stands up sternly. “What you will do is follow me, and hopefully you can get out of here before you overdo your stay.”

“You’re dead.”

“No.”

“You’re dead.”

You gulp and shake your head. “I’m awake. I’m alive.”

“You’re dead.” The guy known as Mr Zhong repeats his words. You shake your head with disbelief not allowing your ears to believe a thing he’s saying.

“I’m not dead.” You say again. It seems like a cycle with you in denial and Mr Zhong repeatedly repeating himself not wanting to break the cycle. It seems like he really wants you to get it in your head that you’re- “I’m not dead!”

“You’re dead.” He deadpans again.

“No I’m not.”

Not bothering to change his wording, he crosses his arms only staring at you bored and angered out of his mind. “You’re dead.”

“Stop saying that!” You yell standing up balling your fists. There are tears clinging to your eyes. “I can’t be dead! I can’t! Can’t you see I’m breathing? Are you blind to that?”

“You don’t even have a heartbeat or pulse.” Mr Zhong tilts his head. “You’re dead.”

“Stop!” You yell at him controlling your hands to stop you from trying to slap or push him. Blinking your tears away. “Stop saying that please. I only asked you where Donghyuck is.”

“And I’ve been telling you that you’re inside of him.” He shuts his eyes rubbing his temple. “And that’s because you’re-”

“I will strangle you if you dare repeat that sentence.”

He calls your name once while turning around. How did he know your name? “You’re wasting precious time. You know what, follow me, if you want proof and clarification.”

Being told you’re dead and that you’re inside your lover (inside of Donghyuck’s body) causes an unstable balance inside of you. You look at your hands and see how clear they are from any wound, but you can also remember feeling numb from all the idle pain all over your body. You can’t remember what happened- but you know that you were hurt badly. Otherwise why else was Donghyuck crying. You remember following him to the hospital... or he was following you- you’re not sure, but you do know that he was in an insane amount of pain...wait, you were in an insane amount of pain. You felt your head about to explode and your entire body in such frail torture, throbbing and aching.

If you felt that pain, then why are you okay right now? It’s the only thing you can think about. You turn around in the white hall, finally finding Mr Zhong by an elevator. He sticks out like a sore thumb because everything in the room is white except his dark suit. Your legs are heavy but you follow him and stand beside him in the elevator letting out a chilling breath.

“Where are you taking me?”

You pose simply, only to have him ignore you and press up a button. The elevator starts moving up and you notice that the doors are clear and see through. As the elevator goes up, the white hall you were in goes down and the new scenery of black clouds and a neon view of an ominous city lights up in the night, but the elevator goes higher despite floating in… midair. You stand closer to the door taking in the view of each layer of the city that is darkened and only lit by the flashing colors of pink blue and yellow. The confusion in you only grows. The views disappear and a grey room is present when the elevator stops. The doors slide open and Mr Zhong takes steps out with you carefully following him.

After leaving that weird place, he continued being cold with a bothered face. You can already guess that he doesn’t like you at all, not one bit. He barely gave any other emotion then abhor and clear hatred. Maybe hate is too strong but that’s what you can see in his eyes. He hates you and you don’t know why, you don’t even know him. But he somehow seems to be in charge as he walks around like he knows everything.

In the narrow grey corridor, you try to keep up with him as he turns into various open turns. Peeking from behind him you spot a door that’s in front with the number 4R.

A flashing white light hits your eyes and you shake your head hearing loud voices.

“Pulse going down!”

“Doctor we’re losing blood, we’re losing her!”

“We need to stabilize her stat!”

You stand still shutting your eyes to block out the words but they continue on yet instead of getting louder, they slowly fade.

“Get the charge.”

“Volt?”

“180.”

“Standby. Clear.”

You gasp aloud and pant out.

“Pulse fading.”

“Again. Standby. Clear.”

A sharp sting grips your chest and you grab it gasping out.

“Pulse fading.”

“We’re losing her.”

It’s the last thing you hear before sharply opening your eyes blinking excessively when Mr Zhong stands in front of you. “That’s called your Last Memory.”

“Last Memory?” You ask trying to catch your breath and stand straight.

“Yes. The last thing your inactive brain remembers before it shuts down. I guess this hall triggered it.”

“But I thought I’m in Donghyuck’s mind?” You whisper out grumpily standing straight. “What the hell is going on?”

“Right now we’re not in Donghyuck’s mind. I just took your spirit out of it. Plus another day has passed. It’s almost 7pm. You’re tethered to him.”

“What?” Confusion washes over you yet again, by the words that leave his lips. You have no idea of the things he’s talking about. “What do you mean tethered to him?”

He turns on his heel continuing to walk towards the door named 4R. “Things will make sense when you come to terms with the fact that you’re dead.”

He opens the door and there’s a dim light that he disappears into. Quickly you follow him rubbing your eyes upon entering the bright room.

You can hear soft sobs and instantly snap your head to the source. There’s a hospital bed and a chair. On the chair... And on the bed...

You feel your heart about to explode from beating so fast. Your knees lose balance and you fall down. “W-what is this?” You ask unable to comprehend the sight before you.

Mr Zhong stands by the corner of the room with his hands in his pocket as he looks at the sight of your dead body on the bed and Donghyuck’s disheveled appearance seated on the chair. He’s crying as his eyes are fixed on your lifeless face.

“What memory is this?” You ask trembling as you try to get on your feet with your weak body trying to handle and support your movement. But it can’t, your emotions wearing you down.

“This isn’t a memory.” Mr Zhong speaks taking in a breath stepping closer. “You died 3 days ago. Today, they’re discharging your body and preparing for burial-”

“B-burial?” Your heart hammers in your chest as you fall again to the ground. “Burial for what? Who’s getting buried?”

“Your burial is in 2 days time,” Mr Zhong continues.

“No.” A string of disbelief leaves your lips just as your tears blur your vision. You stumble up and run to Donghyuck but get the surprise of your life when your whole body passes through him and you fall rigidly to the ground. “D-Donghyuck?” You cry out immediately sitting up and trying to touch him. “Baby please I’m here! I’m here! That’s not me! That’s not me! I’m here! Donghyuck! Hyuck! Baby!” Your voice quivering and trembling as you try so desperately to cling onto his body, but each time your hand goes through, until you’re struggling to breathe with your chest at a loss of air. “No!” You wail out in deep agony. “I survived- I’m here. I can feel and that’s not me. That’s not me- please no.”

Your tears are nonstop as you bury your head on Donghyuck’s thigh… well, trying too.

Mr Zhong’s eyes widen when he senses that Donghyuck can suddenly feel your presence. Donghyuck blows out a breath of air and his own tears stream down faster as he looks at your dead body on the bed. He stands up and his whole body circles your dead body again as he cries. He’s not supposed to be holding you, but the nurses are not around, and he could care less about the trouble he would be in. Mr Zhong lets out a breath of relief when sensing it was only your sorrowed and burden emotions that pushed Donghyuck into another wave of tears.

Mr Zhong needed to get you out, but your weakened state next to the feet of your boyfriend has him in despair. Even though he despises you, he knows how much you mean to Donghyuck, and so he leaves the room to let you have a moment. After all you just found out that you’re dead.

You're crying alongside Donghyuck, while Mr Zhong stands outside the door listening to the both of you pour out your hearts. Of course it’s hard to believe you’re inside of Donghyuck’s mind when you can see him with your physical eyes. But then again, Mr Zhong has been here far longer than you have. In his mind, he tries to think of ways to get you out of Donghyuck’s head before it’s too late. He shakes his head. “It’s already late.” He mutters to himself. “But I need to get her out of here. Before anyone sees her.”

This is all happening because Donghyuck doesn't want to let you go. Mr Zhong sighs. He needs to get you out of Donghyuck's head, he needs to do it as soon as possible before you got sucked in. The less you know the better. It’s even better that no one saw you aside from those nurses. He needs to get you out before another member inside of Donghyuck sees you.

Mr Zhong's senses alert and sharpen when he can feel Donghyuck and you together. Donghyuck can feel you. That’s not good. Donghyuck can’t interact with your spirit. Under no circumstance is he allowed to do that. Mr Zhong bursts into the hospital room his eyes enlarging when you're hugging Donghyuck from behind. You’re focusing your entire being just to hug Donghyuck and it seems to be working because Donghyuck can feel your presence… or rather can feel an embrace wrapping their arms around him. Donghyuck is anything but confused as he cries out. “I can’t live without you. I can’t…” Donghyuck shakes his head when seeing your dried out and dull lifeless lips.

Meanwhile Mr Zhong's heart beats rapidly when he senses what Donghyuck is about to do. He gulps and his legs are quick to act in grabbing your shirt from behind and yanking you. "We have to go now."

"Wh-what? Why?" You're ripped from Donghyuck as Mr Zhong pulls you back. You try to fight him off you with your strength but Mr Zhong balls his fist and your body begins to move against your will. "No- please- just give me more time with him! Please-"

Your words fall on deaf ears as Mr Zhong's running and forcing your body to move as well in the direction you came from. In a far distance as you cross your ‘Last memory’ you hear the words of the Doctor charging your body again and you jolt up when feeling the electrical current shoot throughout your body, however the process is short lived when you're pulled away extremely fast and into the elevator next to Mr Zhong. “Come one go faster. Go faster.” Mr Zhong stresses out. You wipe your tears suddenly being drawn to his alertness. What’s going on now?

There's a loud ringing in your head when the elevator door opens up to a... large white room that looks like a lab with plenty of laptops and screens. –Beep- Beep- Beep- the alarm sounds off very loudly.

"What's going on?" You shut your eyes when the ringing ‘crings’ annoyingly. You can't hear Mr Zhong but with blurry sight you see him run out of the elevator to the white room… that's slowly turning dark. You try to follow however your mind is distorted and you collapse on the ground due to all the ringing.

Mr Zhong- tagged along with a great hand of different operators run around the ‘monitor room’ also known as the Core control room. With screens all over monitoring all of Donghyuck’s scenes, there’s one large screen that captures what he’s seeing exactly. That’s the one that Mr Zhong controls when he senses that Donghyuck isn’t being himself. The people in the room all in charge of different senses are running up and down in haste- trying to get Donghyuck to calm down- they press on all the buttons that are used to prevent a forced ‘shut down’. The lights in the center are fading black.

Donghyuck is having a breakdown and is about to shut down his mind. That can't happen. Because if it happens, then the Core can’t control, leaving Donghyuck in the hands of his impulsive ‘Body’. Mr Zhong pulls on a leather hanger and blinks several times when eyeing the monitor screen to see through Donghyuck's eyes.

Donghyuck is still in the hospital room pacing back and forth, wanting to rampage. “I… I should be the one to die. I should be the one to die. I should be… the one… to…” Huffing and puffing, Donghyuck picks up his car keys and goes out the door. He can hear his brain telling him not to do it but there's just so much emotion building in him that he can't fathom or want to feel. Getting in his car he slams the door shut and bangs repeatedly on the steering wheel yelling out in sheer anger and possibly crying out.

Mr Zhong speaks into Donghyuck’s thoughts as his ‘subconscious voice’. “Don’t do it Donghyuck. You don’t have to do something crazy to prove.”

Drive. However, with the fading lights in the control room, Donghyuck gives into the will of the Body to drive instead of listen to his own thoughts.

"No!" Mr Zhong hastily pulls on the leather to try and have some more light- to try and have control in the darkening room. The other coordinators are scampering in heaps of fear by Donghyuck's edged decisions. "Come on Donghyuck! Please don’t do it! Listen to be before you do something crazy! Stop the car!"

All efforts in the control room are vain when Donghyuck starts the engine and with raging force the tires screech loudly and his car thrusts forward in deadly speed. Cars are hooting on every lane by his careless driving. Donghyuck finds himself not caring and he drives on the highest speed challenging the accelerator in his car. All the windows are up, the car is filled with sounds of him deeply breathing and running his hand over his hair violently and his foot blistering from how cogently he's stepping on the speed paddle.

The Core’s control room is no longer fading black, instead the whole room is a darkened red with flashing lights- the alarm sounds are all off. All the controls are black and the only thing everyone can do is watch the screen of Donghyuck's eyes and he swerves in dangerous speeds racing in between cars and him yelling out. He’s on a high way leading to his own death.

Mr Zhong worriedly looks at the screen watching his best friend lose his mind and having a mild panic attack. Mr Zhong holds onto the ledge tightly with tears in his eyes. “Donghyuck stop this!” All the pain Donghyuck is feeling - he can feel it too. Especially in this moment. Donghyuck is feeling guilty. Worthless. Pathetic for staying alive when his girlfriend has died. Mr Zhong feels useless that he can't do anything but watch as his friend is driving to his own death. In moments like this, when Donghyuck’s Core lost control to the Body- they could do nothing but watch it all happen. All the operators as if in defeat and sync all kneel on the ground together with their eyes no longer trained on the screen but on the floor as they prepare for death. Because by the looks of Donghyuck’s reckless driving, they were bound to death. This is what usually happens when the mind and body are no longer connected. Donghyuck feels on edge that he can't feel anything and so the body moves on its own in rebellion. Mr Zhong doesn't close his eyes, he simply sinks on the ground waiting for the impact of the crush whenever it'll happen.

Is this seriously how Donghyuck will lose his life? By ending it, while thinking of being with you.

Donghyuck panting out in sheer self-resentment drives off the highway and crushes past the border line lanes and he's car is surging down the cliff in rapid speed.

It's getting hot and Mr Zhong can feel it. The roads are bumpy and Donghyuck stupidly removes his seatbelt having his red tearful bleeding eyes already set on a tree. He's ready to crash into.

With determination Donghyuck prepares himself for impact his eyes balling out blurring his vision.

"Hyuck… Hyuck…"

Mr Zhong's ears are sharp when hearing it. Hearing the soft breathless echo. From Donghyuck's eye vision, Mr Zhong sees a ghostly appearance of a hand holding onto the staring wheel… holding onto his hand. Mr Zhong's eyes snap all around until he spots you on the ground (that you supposedly passed out on).

Your lips are dry, your body is flat on the floor, however your eyes are filled with tears when wearily looking at the screen. Mr Zhong makes out your hand that's slowly balling in a fist and by instinct he can feel that Donghyuck can feel it as well. You intertwine your fingers with his.

Donghyuck feeling the tingling sensation presses his foot sharply on the break! pedal causing the car to come to a dangerous sharp stop with the tires raging on and burning up with smoke emitting all around the car. Donghyuck nearly flies off his seat but he grips the wheel tightly especially when still seeing your hand on his.

The car stops a few gaps away from the rough branched tree, but Donghyuck's isn't even focused on that as his breathing rises with his eyes firmly on the hand wrapped tightly in his. He turns to the side and the ghostly appearance of your bloody image is what he sees before it fades away.

“Y/n…” He breaks out into a breathless cry, laying his head on the staring wheel.

In the center, heads rise when noticing the red lights disappear before the white light flickers back on giving control back to the mind. The sadness team comes together to allow Donghyuck to cry- quickly getting back on track to allow Donghyuck to not lose control again. Mummers go around, but Mr Zhong has his eyes fixed on you. The others can't hear it, but he can. He can hear it because Donghyuck can hear your soft whispers in his ear.

"Please, don't do it. Live...for me...please. Hyuck…"

While the coordinators in the room weakly take control of the system, Mr Zhong looks to the screen of Donghyuck's eyes. Donghyuck glares at the empty passenger’s chair and whimpers out your name. Mr Zhong moves to your corner before anyone can see you and he places you in his room leaving the door open. “Why is it so dark in here?”

He ignores you and carries on doing what he was doing. “Rest up.”

Donghyuck falls asleep on the couch again, too lazy to go to his room and too drained to move. After having a full on blow cry of his life, he got out his car when it refused to start again. The car was busted. He walked up the rocky cliff making it to the highway again. His mind not even on the fact that he just lost his car. He felt numb of emotions and his throat was sore. Walking wasn't such a bad idea as he got to slowly recall your weak figure...bloody figure. He got teary eyed again and allowed himself to cry out on the road as he walked meekly on the side. How could he go on without you being there? He couldn't. And that's why, when feeling your presence tonight he wanted to continue feeling it forever more. By the time he got to his house, he crashed on the couch and instantly got induced by sleep.

Mr Zhong monitors everything until he feels sleep take over and Donghyuck is passed out on the couch. Mr Zhong looks at the blank screen being worn out. Now the Dreamers in Dream Land are taking over in giving him something to dream about. Tonight was challenging. If it weren't for you, Donghyuck would've died. As if being summoned Mr Zhong turns his head around when seeing your walking figure. You're dressed in all white again and you sit on the chair next to him.

"I told you to rest." Mr Zhong's voice isn't sharp like before, but it's stern and on the quiet side.

You nod your head slowly, fumbling with the ends of your sleeves out of pure anxiety. "I did. But I couldn't bring myself to sleep. Mr Zhong... I wanna understand what's going on. I'm lost out of my mind and you're the only one who I believe I can talk to."

Mr Zhong turns his head to you and sighs. "What you don’t know won’t hurt you. Besides, you have to leave his body. Let's take a walk."

"You said something about me being a lover. That I’m tethered to Hyuck. Is this heaven? Am I supposed to be here?"

“You’re not supposed to be here, which is why should leave.”

Elevators are Mr Zhong's way of movements you take note. The moment he thinks of it, by a second there's already an elevator door that presents itself. Just like him, it's a darkened grey almost black color. You stand beside him and the elevator goes down and away from the white center room. “Why are you the only one that is coated in darkness?” You question, and as you expected, he doesn’t answer you. By the time the elevator opens up, you see the outside. You follow right behind Mr Zhong on the darkened streets of the neo colored place.

"I’d believe that I’m inside of him if his insides looked all brainy and stuff. So, where are we really?” You pose confused while looking at a place that looked much more like a city then a mind or brain or all bloody.

"The less you know the better. But for a little insight, everybody is different as they should be. If you want brain and blood, just ask and I’ll take you to the real interior of Donghyuck. Right now, we’re in the interior central. The Dreamscape City. You know how some people are, structured, punctual, disciplined and focused? Well Donghyuck's being is like that. Everything that Donghyuck is, his personality: the things he likes, dislikes, traits, smarts, kinks, special places, basically his whole conscious is here in an organized collected city. I call it Cyber Dream, just because of it’s tech style. But everyone here knows it as the pit of Donghyuck or Dreamscape. If you like, you can call yourself a figment of Donghyuck’s imagination." Mr Zhong answers as he navigates himself through a busy street. You’re not far behind from him trying to hear everything he’s saying. He really doesn’t seem to like you. But that’s the least of your concern.

You rest close by being enchanted by all the flashing lights and different buildings and skyscrapers with enchanting names such as; ‘New Things I learnt Encyclopedia’, ‘Guilty Pleasures town’, ‘Music-Phoria home’, ‘Skates City’ and more. What attracts you more are the people.

Your eyes do a double take almost every time when you notice that the people.... probably all of them are lookalikes of Donghyuck but with different hairstyles and clothes. Just like the nurses and the people in the Core room, most of them just have blank faces, or eyes or mouths. Your mind easily grasps these things and you feel like your brain might explode from how weird everything is.

"Figment of his imagination? Dreamscape," You mummer out. You smile when recalling how much of a brainy tech nerd Donghyuck is even internally. “That’s my Hyuck,”

"Everything that he breathes lives here." Mr Zhong nods his head. "Night time. When Donghyuck sleeps, he's left to dream by The Dreamers in Dreamland. They're the ones who coordinate his dream and guide him to a dream or not. While he's out, his Mind, Body and Core begin to rest up. We don’t sleep, we can’t, instead we rest. That basically means the people who work in his Body come out here, the people who work in his Mind come out here and the Core people come out here."

You and Mr Zhong go inside a yellow building called, The Commune, with high shelves, comfortable lounging spaces and such a cozy warm place, the place has such a comfort feeling. Going to the top floor, you and Mr Zhong walk past some people who are seated on the one seat couch or tables as they read quietly or talk together. There’s such harmony. Mr Zhong leads you outside where there are some tables and chairs, but even outside still looks so nice and impressive. You and Mr Zhong draw to the rail and sit on the high stools there, getting sucked into the sporting lights and peaceful sights of the Dreamscape City. The illuminating night sky as well, draws you close and into everything. The night sky is composed of stars that look like objects and faces… little white dots in the sky. You smile when you see your own face.

"Don’t get too comfortable." Mr Zhong breathes out and you face him taking in the structure of his hard face. He's got soft slightly plumped lips, a firm jaw that holds up his face proudly, high cheek bones, slit eyes that are partially open and his hair is a midnight black... just like his whole attire. A very...not so much Donghyuck look alike.

“How come you look so different?” You ask. “Everyone here looks like Donghyuck but you-”

“You’re different too.” Is his response. You don’t press much into it, as you see him giving you such cold eyes. He breathes out again rolling his eyes, as he thinks on how to break down everything to you. "I know you don't like hearing this, but you're dead. I'm sorry," Despite his words sounding sincere you don’t like how he looks at you, or the fact that he doesn’t appreciate your presence with him. “And you have to come in terms with that fact, because it’ll help you get out of here faster.”

You let out a soft breath. There's no denying it now, because you believe it yourself too that you’re dead. But you don’t even know where you are? So why is he so eager to have you out? “Honestly, you keep telling me I’m inside of Donghyuck, but I really don’t even understand anything. If I’m dead, why am I here?”

"When people die, good or bad, they go to a waiting place. Where they wait for their judgement and verdict on hell or heaven. In their waiting place, they're like spirits who wander the earth. With physical eyes you can't see them or feel them, but they can see and feel you. You're supposed to be there right now and your spirit is not supposed to be here. But Donghyuck has done the impossible, yet again." Mr Zhong's lips halt and he looks away from you.

“Yet again?” You question. “What does that even mean?”

“Tell me, when you were hit by that car, did you feel your spirit going…”

Thinking back, you recall how your soul felt like it was getting out of your body. “I actually did feel that.”

“That was your spirit already taking flight from the pain. So I don’t know how he did it but… your spirit was drawn to him before you could walk off to the ‘bright white light’. What do you remember?”

“Dying.” You answer honestly and sadly. “But nothing else. I woke up here thinking that I woke up in the hospital. What do you mean when you say he’s done this before? Is that why you’re here and look diff-”

“Stop asking questions, listen.” Mr Zhong wastes no time in allowing you to speak. “For now nobody seems to know that you’re here, let’s keep it like that. The best thing I can tell you now is that if we work together we’ll be able to get you out of here before it’s too late, and before everyone begins to notice. You see now, they aren’t even looking at you.”

“What kind of best news is that?” You furrow your brow. “And what do you mean-”

Mr Zhong groans out being annoyed. “What do you mean this- what do you mean that- you ask too many questions. Do you think you could listen for once in yourlife?”

“That’s because I’m trying to-”

“If I tell you that Donghyuck can’t move on and that’s why you’re here, will you be able to understand that?”

"He can't move on? I mean what do you expect… I just died." Although your tone is saddened, your questions are endless, but if it’s answers you want, then you’ll get them. One way or another, even if he’s being difficult. “Well at least tell me about this place and why you want me gone so bad?”

"You see, the people here are all Donghyuck's self-made conscious. They're all born with purpose. For example, everyone in this building is tasked to read or socialize over matters that Donghyuck wonders about. One of the popular discussions in his head is whether we have 1 butt or 2 butts-”

You laugh, remembering how you and Donghyuck would argue on end about the said subject. He'd bring up points you've never even thought about and it was always such a discussion with depth- rather then it being silly. You stop laughing seeing Mr Zhong just staring at you irritated.

"The place where you came out of- is like the neck of birth. All of the time, it's Donghyuck being born again with a new trait and that trait moves on to its assigned Member. Now the problem is, you haven’t been assigned, which ultimately makes you a lover. Someone that Donghyuck has kept because…” Mr Zhong stops himself before trying to find better words. “Because he doesn’t want to lose you. There are 3 types of Members here, namely: Mind, Body and Core." Mr Zhong sticks out 3 fingers. "Mind members are the ones who initiate thoughts and strategies, analyzing, thinking, making plans and short term memory or long. They are the ones who fuel this place up with ideas and ideologies, they make up half of Donghyuck's conscious. Typically, they're the ones who work all over. They monitor him as his spoken conscious, they monitor eyes and ears. You know the little thoughts in your head, or the feelings you suddenly feel when you're with a person, or that one voice you speak to in your head by yourself? That's the Mind members.”

You nod you head. “What department are we-”

“Well maybe if you stopped talking I’d be able to fill you in properly without jumping and skipping. His sharp tone has you leaning back and silencing yourself. “Body members are the desires and cravings of this place. Anything they desire or lust after, they fuel to the body. The mostly deal with his senses of touch and movements. Meaning for example, if Donghyuck started liking yoga, then there are yoga body members who are born and have the necessary knowledge on yoga. Naturally the Body members main station is down to the body below the neck, but from time to time the Organs and Nerves system will come up to build awareness for new things that Donghyuck's body has started liking. And then we have the Soul, but commonly known here as a Core members, this is my department. Considering you touched him, this is… your temporary placement."

“My-” His sudden sharp stare has you shutting your mouth discontinuing your question.

"Core members work in the Upper room, they control room whereby we're in charge of his purpose, his meaning to life, his intelligence, his personality… we incorporate together with the Body and Mind to create Donghyuck as a whole. While the Mind members are everywhere of his conscious, the core makes up 1 half, just as the body makes the other half. The one mostly in control is the Mind, second in charge is me, however other times the body is stubborn and refuses to be third, so it’s tug and war sometimes. Especially if what the body wants to do is stupid.” Mr Zhong explains.

“You talk as if the Mind, Core and Body have a spokesperson,”

“They all do. I hope you don’t get to meet them. Your task should be to get Donghyuck to move on.”

“Again with this.” You huff and look away.

Mr Zhong stares at your side profile. “Tell me something. You’ve been here for a week now-”

“A week? It hasn’t felt like a week, it feels like literally 1 whole day.”

“Time moves quick here.” Mr Zhong brushes off quick and continues in his speech. “And that should let you know that you’re losing your chances of a quick escape.”

“Okay. I understand that I’m dead. I kind of understand that Donghyuck doesn’t want to move on that’s why I’m here, but I don’t get your constant need for me to leave asap.”

“Because you’re different from everybody else here.” He states.

Staring back at him, you want to bite your tongue back but the words don’t stay in. “News flash you’re also here and you’re the only different looking guy.”

“And you think that’s nice? You think that it’s a good thing being here?” He questions sternly, his voice being so threatening. His anger is bright and clear in his eyes, but… something in his eyes evoke this… pain… hidden so deep. “Call me what you want, but I’m trying to help you. It may not look like it. But really I am.”

“You don’t even like me.” Your mouth let’s out again.

“No I don’t.” He admits. That makes you feel some way. “But Donghyuck loves you. The Mind, Haechan loves you, and Body Sun loves you too. Donghyuck as a whole loves you, more than anything in this world, he loves you. Heck he was even going to die because he didn’t want to live without you. Listen here Y/n, just because I don’t like you, doesn’t mean that I don’t want what’s best for you. And believe me, leaving is what’s best for you. Going to heaven… or hell, is best for you than being trapped in here. The longer you stay here, the harder it’ll be to let Donghyuck go. You’ll be like me.”

You want to ask what’s wrong with that, but the way he’s going on and on has you feeling that being like him is bad. Aside from his facial difference from all the other Donghyuck’s around, you do notice that he’s the only wearing black. Of course you see others in black clothes too- but he’s black has an eerie vibe to it. His hair black, eyes black, clothes black, even his complexion, against all the black makes him look incredibly angry… dark.

“Take what happened earlier tonight. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but the Mind members are kind of lamenting and mourning your death, and by doing that they’ve given us temporary control of Donghyuck. We need to keep Donghyuck in check all the time now. While we were in control of his thoughts. His Body, just wanted to die, like I said he didn’t want to be third so he took control. Hence the room turning black. We lost Donghyuck to the control of his Body, and at times that can be the most dangerous of situations to be in. Basically, this period in Donghyuck’s life will be tough, because he has to let you go, so that you can be free." Mr Zhong slowly nods his head. He doesn’t know how you’re taking the news, but he’s trying to be honest with you, without letting you know too much.

“I don’t see what’s so bad about that.” You mumble looking away from him. Mr Zhong rolls his eyes. “For someone who’s also inside of Donghyuck, you really don’t embody anything that he likes. I bet you’re probably the one that takes over when Donghyuck and I argue.”

“I actually do. I think Donghyuck can do way better-” He shuts his mouth hearing you scoff angrily. “You’re scoffing? Didn’t you cheat on him?”

You suck in a sharp breath and look at him in astonishment. “That happened a long time ago.”

“Yep and it’s still the main reason why you and him argued.”

“I didn’t cheat on him. He caught me in a bad time with Jaemin.”

“Mhm. You’re dead now so it’s pointless. You’ll no longer argue about that.” He nods his head not convinced by your statement, at the same time puts you back in your place of death. "Thank you by the way.”

You’re still so high from the conversation, that you furrow your eyebrows when he suddenly says that thank you. “Thank you? What are you thanking me for?” You grumpily say and try to ignore the mini argument you had.

“You brought the Core out of the influence of the Body. I bet it wasn't easy, however you handled him well."

“This is crazy,” You blink your eyes to the stars above. “I just wanted to spend the rest of my night with Donghyuck, but now a week has passed, I’m supposedly dead—there’s just so much going on. And it all feels like a really long nightmare that I can’t stop. And you’re just so annoying and infuriating.” You shake your head and scoff. “I just wanted to touch him and hug him and just..."

“I get what you’re feeling, but complaining won’t do anything.” Mr Zhong, this time, gently interrupts causing you to huff in air and sulk. “Despite not liking you, I feel everything that he feels for you.” Mr Zhong turns his head in your direction. You're looking at the stars. He can only hope to get you out of here as soon as possible. “If you want this nightmare to stop. You need to get out of here and occupy your own spirit. Your spirit needs to go and rest in it’s rightful place.”

You ignore him and just look at the stars. Your mind blank. This can’t be real.

“I can’t risk the others seeing you, so I’ll need you to hide out in the Upper controls room, preferably in my room.” Mr Zhong gets up. “There’s a meeting I need to attend.”

“A meeting?”

“Yes, with all the other elements in Donghyuck. Our discussion is on the accident that happened. We need to head back so that I can make it in time and argue for you.”

“Can I come?”

“I just told that you need to lay low and hide out.” He grumbles. “So, no. You cannot come.”

Despite what Mr Zhong said, you find yourself with a mask over your face and large hoodie that you accidently stole from The Commune you were in. While Mr Zhong goes on leaving you in his room, you end up leaving and following some of the Core members into an auditorium like building. Where the meeting already seems to be in progression between:

Body, Mind and Core.

The names that Mr Zhong didn’t want you to know, you now know when associating yourself with the 3 members who stand at the center of the whole room. There’s ‘Sun’ (The Body), Mr Zhong (The Core) and Haechan (the Mind). One in all white (Sun), another in all grey (Haechan) and Mr Zhong in all black. The other two look a lot like Donghyuck and you can almost feel a connection to them both.

All of them are representatives. Sun and Mr Zhong report to Haechan. Haechan is in control of Donghyuck’s entirety. Sun and Mr Zhong work separately yet together to achieve the full personality of Donghyuck.

The Core’s representative is of course Mr Zhong. He stands on his own podium, looking to the rest of the present core, mind and body of members inside of Donghyuck. “The events of some night ago hit us all gravely. Donghyuck nearly drove himself to death. And that was because he was under the watchful eye of the Body members, while the Mind went into a crying cave. Donghyuck nearly tried to commit suicide. However, the Core was able to get Donghyuck back to his senses and allow him time to grieve. So, as this period in Donghyuck’s life seems to be one that is tragic, I suggest, we’ll give him a few days of grieving, before he can slowly return back to his habitual patterns and daily life. We wouldn’t want him to rashly commit suicide again.” It seems like a reasonable plan to get Donghyuck back in motion, yet the Body and Mind are opposing. “I suggest perhaps a period of 2 weeks, before we can allow him to move on-”

The Body’s representative, ‘Sun’, however has a loud mouth when speaking. “Firstly I apologize for my rash decisions. I know we were all overwhelmed and all just wanted to die. I shouldn’t have pushed that agenda. But, I don’t have to be the one to remind you and everyone else, that something happened that night. We felt the presence of Y/n. A ghostly hand belonging to her. A soft voice reminding us to carry on. She was there.” He states firmly. “Y/n was our everything. To have her there was a sign that we should… we should seek her.” That gets the crowd murmuring by that ghostly presence.

The one thing weird about being in Donghyuck’s mind, is adjusting to how everyone looks. While some only have ears and nothing else on their faces, others had Donghyuck’s full face, however they had unique looks, their own purposes and weren’t exactly like the Donghyuck you fell in love with. So, as you watch ‘Sun’ speak with so much passion towards you, your heart hurts… to think that you’d never be able to see Donghyuck the same way again is something that you find… weird. You’re inside of him and are surrounded with his traits and several personalities, but not one of them embodies all of those traits. While you can fall in love with his individual presences, you can’t fall in love with him as a whole anymore.

“I felt it too. And not just that night, but I… it sounds weird but I feel her here. I know she’s watching over us.” The Mind’s representative, Haechan speaks. It’s the first time he’s speaking. And instantly hearing his voice and seeing his facial expressions, you know that this… he’s the closest thing to Donghyuck. Why? The way he looks and reasons just highlights so much of Donghyuck.

It’s him. Heck… he’s even called Haechan. Your sunshine… “Hyuck,” you lowly call out.

Not expecting his ears to rise a little, his eyes turn to the side… he freezes on spot. You. The mere eye contact you make with him has both of your hearts beating rapidly fast. You can’t take your eyes off of him, you can’t stop looking at him. You swear that his emotions begin to enlighten… just as much as he seems much more attentive to you. You want to hide, just as Mr Zhong told you to do just in case someone saw you… but it’s so weird. You can’t look away from those eyes. The same eyes you fell in love with is now looking back at you. You watch as the tears fill his eyes… His lips tremble. “Y/n-”

“Haechan.” Mr Zhong calls quickly when noticing that Haechan staring into the distance. And of course a part of him is not surprised to see you there. Of course you’re here, you followed him. Idiot.

“Why else…” Haechan leans on the podium, his eyes flickering to yours once in a while. “Why else would she appear in the spiritual sense to save Donghyuck out of the blue? It’s crazy… but… I think she’s here.” While Mr Zhong’s eyes enlarge, the crowd at large gasps in astonishment. “Some nurses reported back to me that she was here… I don’t know what to make of it, but if she’s really here… then it’s a sign for us to keep her here,”

“No.” And that’s where Mr Zhong’s problem starts. While he’s the only different looking and only different person within Donghyuck’s head, everyone in here still respected him, however when it came to making decisions he was out numbered, by the number of little Haechan’s and Sun’s who’d all think the same. “Or maybe if she is here, it’s for no other purpose except to help Donghyuck to move on.” Mr Zhong tries to reason.

“I call bull on that shit.” Sun shakes his head. “Haechan is right. Something is happening. We as the body have been doing Yoga and we found out about all types of spirits and energies that can enter into a person when you call upon them. I think we should try that for Y/n.”

Mr Zhong shakes his head with disbelief. “What the actual hell did you just say? You want to summon her spirit?”

“Yes.” It comes as a surprise for Mr Zhong as well as you when everyone in the auditorium nods their heads and chants out ‘yes’!

“In fact I think if we do it right, we might even bring her back to life-”

“That doesn’t make sense!” Mr Zhong tries to cut out through the noise. Even his own core members were agreeing to this. “Do you guys realize that by doing this, you will ruin her spirit- and her chance to get true peace?” Mr Zhong stresses out, and that’s something that gets your attention. “She doesn’t belong here with him. She belongs wherever spirits go when they die.”

“If we’re all here why can’t she be here?” Sun enquires.

“She’s meant to be here. And if she already is here… maybe she’s scared… maybe she… maybe she wants to come out but she’s scared that we want to chase her way.” Haechan speaks again softly. Your head turns to the gloomy looking Haechan who’s so depressed when speaking and even when looking around. His eyes linger on yours again- and you feel all sorts of vulnerability. His eyes always had that affect. “I think it’s good if we’re gentle in this matter not to scare her.”

“No.” Mr Zhong’s voice breaks the peace everyone is in. Everyone in the crowd looks at him like he is going mad, they ignore him and slowly begin to chant:

‘Gentleness-’

Your head turns around to all the faces, ears, eyes, mouths, and generally everyone seems to be in agreement. Of course they are, they’re all Donghyuck. Sun takes center position and lifting his hands up. “I think it’s best to make a vow. That if we see her we should vow to never forget about her. To make her feel welcomed and that we don’t plan on letting her go. We vow to never move on without her-”

“No!” Mr Zhong bangs the podium yelling out. “For heaven’s sake! This is not a game. This is a gamble with someone’s spirit. Plus this isn’t something… something that everyone has agreed to.”

“I’m about sick and tired of you refusing to accept her.” Haechan equally raises his voice. “Maybe it’s you she’s afraid of. Maybe she feels unwelcomed by your energy. Cut it out! Can’t you see that we all miss her, can’t you feel just how near she is-”

Mr Zhong stands up in defending himself. “This isn’t something that everyone has agreed upon-”

“Can you hear them Mr Zhong?” Sun gives Mr Zhong such an attitude and holds his hand to the crowd causing them to let out an ear piercing scream. “They’ve spoken.”

“No they haven’t.” Mr Zhong solely fights for you. But yet, you can’t understand why he wants you gone so bad. Especially if Haechan and Sun are giving you a chance to stay. If you’re here, it surely means something… It’s what Haechan said. “This isn’t a democracy, this is someone’s life, spirit on the line. If you do this, there’s no going back. Haechan,” Mr Zhong looks to the Mind. “Right now, you’re just sad. You’re not thinking straight. If you allow this to happen, if you make this vow, you’ll be repeating a mistake. Should I be the one to take you to long term memory? Please. I’m begging you. I’m trying to prevent that. Please.”

Very subtly, the Mind, Haechan, looks to you and his heart quenches up. It really is you. There’s no denying it now. Your eyes are clear and he knows what you’re feeling… He’s just as confused of you being here… but how can this be? Is he dreaming? Normally, his colors where bright and bubbly and had a balance because he also looked after Donghyuck’s heart and everything else surrounding his energy. When the Core and Body found no agreement, he was the final decision to everything. The Mind is always the bridging gap between the Core and Body. However, as Haechan’s eyes are grey and brown, it only shows how much your death has affected him deeply, intensely… progressively that he doesn’t mind making a terrible decision.

“Please don’t be afraid to come out… I’m here.”

You blink your eyes a little, the tears slipping more before quietly getting up and leaving the auditorium. Haechan too follows your going figure. He wants to chase and follow after you- but Mr Zhong is in front of him. “I need to go.”

“No you don’t.” Mr Zhong stops him. “Please Haechan. The unconscious part of you knows better than anyone what bringing her soul here means. Or do you need me to go and find the memories for you so that you can see-”

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I need to go to my room. Tomorrow is Friday. There’s a speech we need to prepare. Remember?”

[Friday, 10:45 a.m.]

Donghyuck isn't feeling too well as he leans on the wall of your once bright lively bedroom. His eyes are on the ground to a box of items that belonged to you. Your older brother Taeyong found it fit to give him some of the things you cherished. Donghyuck squats down and begins picking, moving his hand around the box looking for something particular- "There is it." Donghyuck pulls out a ring...

A promise ‘purity’ ring. This was on your body last, your finger before they removed it. Just looking at his makes his eyes water... How could you be gone? Just like that, how could you go? He sharply sucks in his breath when hearing the bedroom door open.

"Hey," It's Taeyong. "We're about to start."

"Cool." Donghyuck wipes his eyes. "I'll be down."

Giving him a moment to pull himself together, Taeyong walks out your old room first and then goes down the steps. This house once used to be a home filled with so much love and care. But it only took your parents dying, also in a car accident, to break the foundation of the family. Taeyong, Mark and you were siblings who loved each other so much and dearly, yet once your parents died something shifted in all of you. There was a lack of connections or understanding between you all. While it was evident that Taeyong tried to bring his siblings back together and become the man of the house, he couldn't find himself being strong for both you and Mark. While you and Mark confided in each other and got closer, Taeyong drifted further apart from the both of you as he made sure that you both went to good schools, colleges and even found good work. Under Taeyong's guidance, Taeyong managed to afford a student accommodation for Mark because Mark got a scholarship in a top university. Just like Mark, you also achieved good marks and got a bursary were they paid your full tuition as well as housing fees. Happy to have sent you and Mark to good schools, Taeyong was able to look after the house and move out, leaving it as a treasured piece of their family. Their parents were buried in the backyard and he only saw it fit to keep it as a memory house, as a personal cemetery for their family.

However, upon your passing, Taeyong sits outside with tears in his eyes. He never wanted you to die, he still wanted to send you off into a good marriage with a good man, he wanted to see you give birth to many children and be happy, because even though he failed to get closer to you he still loved you as his little sister. But now you're gone and can only look at your coffin that's in the middle of the backyard.

Mark is seated on one of the chairs alongside a few of the distant family relatives and your friends. He hates the feelings he's feeling. But there's nothing for him to do except stare down on the ground while some of your friends play a lovely song on their violins to slowly start the ceremony. The instrumental is so good that it takes him down the memory lane he had with you. He remembers the last time he spoke to you, you were jubilant and excited as ever for getting a job in a nice office of a company that you had admired for long. Credit Insurance Company. He recalls how joyful you were and how everything you spoke about was almost like reminiscing on your life... It's like you knew that you were gonna die. Because Mark can still remember your last words. 'Goodbye Markie. Hopefully the next time we see each other I'll be covered in all white, head to toe full of riches.' You only meant it as a joke of how rich you were going to be, but now it's the last thing he'll ever remember from you.

Donghyuck sits next to Mark absorbing the somber feeling and nonchalant feeling. It doesn’t help that the violin fuels into the pain he’s feeling in his soul.

Taeyong gets on the grass setup of an alter with flowers and pictures of you, while your coffin is stacked next to your pictures. "Thank you for that beautiful symphony. It was a masterpiece. This was my sister’s favorite song. She loved music, specifically the instrumentals because, she could always hear the unsaid words that were said. She always connected to instrumentals. I bought her... her first ipod and the first song she had on it, Near to thee my God. A song that was played at our parents’ funeral. I hope… that right now.." Taeyong gulps down the lump on his throat and looks at your body. "That she’s near to them…”

Taeyong shakes his head.

“Thank you all for joining us, in this ceremony. It's not fair that we’re here in memorial of my little sister. We should’ve been here to celebrate, but we’re here in remembrance. Gone so young, gone too soon. Life, another shit show. It's not fair that she's meeting mum and dad in heaven. It's not fair that she's left us behind. It's not even fair that we're here in honor of her death. It’s just unfair. Even though I'm her brother, her brother who barely spoke to her, I loved her so much. In times when I thought of her, I remembered the small things. The arguments we'd have about how much she hated cheese burger but loved cheese and she'd always nag that tomato is a vegetable, but it was a fruit. Her random topics being too… She was so dumb, but yet so intelligent." Taeyong finds himself bitterly chuckling and sniffing. "She always lit up the room, always had something to say. Whenever she’d step in, you’d know that she was there. Even if we hardly spoke to each other, she always made me happy with her presence. I think Mark can agree with me that she was the pride and dearest of our family. The best gift I've ever gotten was having a baby sister who I could look after and make sure that she kept smiling no matter what. I love you Y/n. Where ever you are, I love you, and I wish I told you that more."

Mr Zhong standing right next to your coffin watches you as you're seated on the floor looking up to your brother with so much admiration. It's true you never spoke a lot, but it's also true that you loved him so much. You always wanted to make him proud and not make him disappointed for sending you off to school- he gave up on school so that you and Mark could make it far. He had lots of self-hate because he thinks he drifted far from you, but he didn't even know that he was the center of your pride. You stand up and move closer to him and focus when you wrap your arms around him-

Mr Zhong watches the effect of the hug and what it does to Taeyong. Right on the spot Taeyong bursts out crying, only irking you to cry more as you whisper how much you love him and never hated him, and how much you looked up to him. You thank him and give him a kiss on the cheek. Taeyong can feel this presence like a warm blanket coming over him. He moves to his seat not being able to handle the overwhelming warmth coating him and little whispers of your voice saying you love him too.

Next up, Mark gets on the pulpit a little wobbly. It only takes one look at your coffin for him to begin crying and releasing all the tears he tried to hide. He doesn't know why he can't stop himself from crying, but Mr Zhong watches how your crying has an effect on Mark. You hold him tightly while he cries and you cry so much.

Taeyong gets up and moves forward to his brother, giving him a firm hug and never letting Mark go, Mark shakes his head in denial and can't even make out words when feeling so much sadness come over him. You join in on the hug that your brothers have, and from the side Mr Zhong has a somber face. He hated funerals. He hated them with a passion. But it was a law, a mind law that even when you die, you have to be present at your funeral to see the people who love you one last time before you'd get all ties with them. So while his eyes get watery by your tears and your brothers tears, he has no choice but to keep standing by your coffin with your body in a white dress. He sighs when Taeyong and Mark move over to sit down. A friend comes to speak, says short tearful words about how she knew you were her real friend. A distant family member speaks of your enthusiastic behavior, another group of friends play an instrumental in tribute to your love for a specific movie, and then next on stage is Donghyuck.

The one you’ve been waiting for. The reason why your life began to make sense after your parents’ death. The one who said love and you knew what it meant, took you out of that broken place you had placed yourself in, kissed you and you knew who you were. When you were lost, you simply looked into his eyes and you knew who you were because he was there. He has always been there for you. You feel like you’ve betrayed him, because you left. You left him all alone.

Donghyuck’s hands shaking uncontrollably pull out a white piece of paper that he wrote on the days you died. He tries to keep his cool but just seeing two of your brothers break down as well as everyone who you had a close bond with, only has him shaking and trying not to fall apart too. "In loving memory of my girlfriend. Maybe I’ll start by saying I’ll never regret loving you. But I must say, I wish things turned out the way we wanted it to be. I would never know what love was until you brought me the definition. You were there in the right time and place and time, you saw and you opened my eyes to a whole new world. That’s why I’m unprepared to let you go. You mean everything to me. I am not prepared to see you like this… in this coffin. We had plans, a bucket list to cross of. Growing old together, getting married, having kids, getting to open up each other more. Maybe along the way we would’ve gotten tired of each other, but in all the years I’ve been with you, even after arguments, I’ve never gotten tired of you. I love you. But now, I see you in white, inside a box with all our broken promises. I’m not ready to let you go. I don’t want to say goodbye. I don’t want to move on. I want to acknowledge all the feelings you made me feel, I never want to let you go. I am glad that I opened my doors for you because you gave me a lot of reasons to continue living even though I was hurting. Remember when I was on the verge of giving up on life and … you saved me? Just like always you came to my rescue like a shining armor. It was surreal. You told me to live. But how am I supposed to live when you’re not here anymore. Please if you can, show me a sign again. Show me that you are near. Y/n, I prayed for you to come back. I need you to be back here with me, with your brothers and friends. But… I know it’s impossible. Because the cold hands of death snatched you away from this cruel earth. This earth doesn’t deserve you, but why did you leave me? Don’t I deserve you?”

Donghyuck gulps when his tears block his vision.

“Since you passed away, life hasn't been the same. If I could, I would move to heaven just to be with you. I would turn back time to have you here on earth with me again. The time we spent together meant the world to me, your laughter and your precious smile always made my heart beat- even when we fought. It always took 3 minutes to make everything alright again. We always came back to each other even though we’d drift apart. I remember those times because it made me feel that whatever I’d do, or what you’d do could never break us apart because we always knew the way back to each other, to try and fix it. " Donghyuck shivers and grunts lowly when his eyes get blurry. "No one will ever know, what it's like to lose someone who’s saved them countless of times from destruction. I miss you... I want to move on, but I can't. I can't move on when you're not here. I won't find another one because you'll always be in my heart. Maybe I will, but I don’t want to. I only want you. I’ve only wished it to be you."

Mr Zhong shakes his head when hearing Donghyuck declare the words that would be your entire existence.

“No one will ever know what it’s like to lose the love of your life just when things were only getting to the best parts. Because I was there when that cruel car drove into you and took your breath away, Y/n, it didn’t have to end that way, you still had so much life. But if it’s this way, please just come back to us and let us say goodbye properly. I’m sorry for this to be the end of our love story… but I know you’re not gone. You’re still here. Inside of your brothers, of your friends, of family, you’re also inside of me.” Donghyuck sniffs. While Mr Zhong is in the corner disliking the words that Donghyuck is confessing, you’re on the ground holding tightly onto his torso.

Mr Zhong sits through your funeral, watching your friends from school an internship place speak such wonderful words about you. He watches how your body is sunk into the ground, everyone being a crying mess… you really had an impact on people. He watches family bid their last good byes, he watches your brother and Donghyuck spend a few more minutes around the spot they buried you. He watches how they’re the first ones to throw a shovel of dirt onto your coffin. Everything feels too real for you, but you’re in a mass crying hysteria as everything unfolds. This is not at all how you imagined your life to end, so to see this all happening is unreal. Mr Zhong watches as the people begin to pack up, how your brothers don’t move from your spot- Mr Zhong watches it all. His own eyes glistening with tears. Day turns to afternoon, and afternoon turns to night…

The last person remaining in the burial sight is Donghyuck. Taeyong and Mark are in the house preparing some food. Donghyuck is seated on the ground watching the place where they buried you. The next day they’d continue to place the rest of the burial ‘ornaments’. For now he can only look at the soil that has covered up the grave and coffin. His mind is blank of emotions.

Meanwhile you’re next to him laying your head on his shoulder. It takes you focusing all of your might into just holding him, but once you get the grip you never let him go. Donghyuck can feel it… he feels a strange sense of comfort by the warmth over his arm. He doesn’t try to move afraid that it might go away… instead he uses this moment to speak to you.

Mr Zhong knows that inside of Donghyuck, it’s Haechan who is in control right now. “Y/n… are you… are you here?”

“Yes I am,” But he can’t hear you. Just the wind blowing.

“I miss you,” He carries on but stops himself when the tears come rushing out again and he’s crying so much. Your own eyes are already puffed up from crying heavily after hearing all your family and friends lament on your death. Mr Zhong disappeared a while ago leaving you alone on the surface with Donghyuck. So to hear him cry, you know that inside Haechan is crying whole heartedly. Literally.

In a shift, a blink of an eye you see Donghyuck get up. “Hyuck,” You call him. “What’s wrong? Where are you going?”

You can’t hear it, but for some reason you know that he’s having internal conflicts again… as he paces back and forth and trembles and his eyes literally look like they’re thinking. It’s all because you were inside of him, you know how everyone is operating there. He makes a rash decision when he suddenly and swiftly punches himself in the face! He falls on the ground and you gasp- what was that. You move to his side trying your hardest to do something from the outside. If Mr Zhong is doing something in there to prevent another ‘Donghyuck shut down’ then perhaps you can you also do something out here. So with all your concentration, you place your hands over his shoulder and you stare at his face that’s in anguish and distress.

“Hey, Hyuck,” You lowly say… Donghyuck’s ears aren’t prepared to hear the spiritual world, but he does hear your voice. Instantly that has him frozen. You keep looking into his eyes hoping he can just stay focused on you- but his eyes shift around- an indication that he can’t see you, but he did hear you… “Please calm down,” you try hard to let him hear the words… and… surprisingly he crosses his legs and nods his head.

“Okay,”

You breathe out, having him back for a bit. You stay with him, this time wrapping your arms around him as you straddle his waist. Hopefully he can feel that… he can.

“Hey Donghyuck, supper’s ready,” Donghyuck doesn’t want to snap out of the daze he was in when hearing your voice and sorta feeling this embrace around him. But as Taeyong calls he sighs out when instantly everything he was feeling, vanishes away. He gets up and heads into the warmly lit home with Taeyong and Mark and takes a seat with the brothers and eats…

You take a seat on the table simply watching them eat. Your heart mourns and aches to be this close to them. “It’s time to go back.” Your head snaps to the side where you see Mr Zhong standing by the corner of the kitchen as if he’s in the shadows. “We have to go back.”

“Can’t you just wait for a few minutes?”

“No I can’t. It’s urgent we move now.”

“How do you expect me to go when my brothers and boyfriend are still wounded?” You question not budging.

“For once in your goddamn life can you just stop asking questions and follow me.” Mr Zhong, frustrated, grumbles. “Come on.”

“Do you guys… feel it?” This is Mark who asks. Both you and Mr Zhong freeze and turn to him, wanting to hear what he’ll say. “Do you feel how empty it is in the house without her?”

Taeyong nods his head and so does Donghyuck. Meanwhile Mr Zhong stomps to the table and grabs your hand. “Let’s go-”

“Let me go!” You yell trying to force yourself away from him!

“Did anyone else hear that?” Donghyuck questions, but this time Mr Zhong doesn’t stop until he’s pulling you off the table and into his personal elevator.

“Gosh! Why do you have to be so infuriatingly frustrating!” You yell out spinning around grabbing your hair. The anger soon turns to tears watching the lift close and your brothers and boyfriend disappearing from your view. “I just want to be with my family. I just want to be with them.”

Your crying doesn’t phase Mr Zhong nor does it stop even when the doors open back into the room of the core members. Mr Zhong picks you up and drags you to your room… well… his room. It’s dark in here. Like a punishment. You can see nothing but pure darkness. It’s an abyss and you’re afraid of it. Mr Zhong leaves you there for 5 whole minutes. That’s how long it takes you to stop crying and begin to fear the dark. Thank goodness he comes back, the little light emitted from the door way makes you immediately stand up. However he crosses his arms.

“Because I can’t trust you out there I’m going to leave you in here-”

“What?”

“And the next step we, we as Donghyuck’s core, will try to get him to move on, because this already looks like an unhealthy way to deal with losing someone.”

“You can’t do that-”

“I can.”

“No you can’t-”

“Watch me.” Mr Zhong voices aloud. “You’re not supposed to be here, the faster he moves on then the better. If you can’t help us with that, then we’re doing this without you. Stop leading Donghyuck on.” Are Mr Zhong’s final words to you.

You’re a little too late to react when he shuts the door and you’re swarmed with internal darkness all over again. You leap off the bed and run to the door trying to unlock it and shake it- to no avail it doesn’t budge. It starts off with you yelling for him to let you out! Before it turns to you banging out the door! You begin to get paranoid yelling and banging! Minutes turn to hours very quick and you’re met with no response. You don’t know how long you remain in the same position before paranoia turns to tears and you’re now wailing in the dark room. And then, like a good cry always does, you fall asleep.

Donghyuck finishes eating and thanks Taeyong and Mark for the meal, before he heads on home. Without his car, he opts for transport services. However, selecting what address to put, he contemplates between the club (Sun’s doing), the park to clear his head (Mr Zhong’s doing) and home (Haechan’s doing). While inside of him they quickly try to verify what action to take, it’s decided upon going to the park. That way, they can try to have another meeting on Donghyuck’s next turning point- instead of simply just rushing in to anything and everything.

Looking at the time, it’s past 8 pm and the little twinkling lights shine blending in with the aesthetics of the park. There seems to be a self-made concert of a guy with what looks like an electric guitar. Donghyuck simply walks by to hear the words that captured his attention:

‘I can’t go back now, nothings the same. But I won’t forget how you called my name? So will you remember me? Will you remember the way that I was? Will you remember me? Will you remember the way that you felt when you were next to me? Will you remember? Do you remember?’

Donghyuck finds himself taking a seat on the grass along with the other singles/couples scattered on the grass as they listen to the guy sing with his slightly raspy voice. The guy goes on to singing a few more songs, before he opens up his eyes that had been closed since Donghyuck came. “Thank you,” That gets the little crowd gathered to applaud for him. Donghyuck is surprised how instantly when the guy gets up, there aren’t girls swarming him with how good his vocals were- he’s just in shock how the guy gets up and begins walking away. Taking his chance, Donghyuck follows him. This being Sun’s doing, as he’s also been interested in singing and would love to hear this guy’s inspiration and would also like to thank the guy. “Hey, man, dude,”

That gets the strangers attention as he turns around curiously, to see if they were calling him. And upon seeing Donghyuck he smiles gently. “Oh hey,”

“What? Aren’t you going to wait for tips after your show?”

The guy’s smile turns a bit shy as he scratches the back of his neck. “Nah, I don’t really do this for the money. But if you’ve got some tips, I’d gladly take them,”

“I’d feel awkward handing you money in cash, it’d kinda send a suspicious message,”

“I get you,” The guy chuckles. “My name’s Jeno, I don’t usually get ‘fans’ running up to me, so I assume you don’t know who I am. What’s your name?”

“What an introduction,” Donghyuck tries to stay upbeat and positive even though his smile is tired. “Well, I’m Donghyuck, some call me Haechan or Sun,”

“You must be a ray of sunshine then,” Jeno enlightens.

“Me? Nah, I’d say your voice was the sunshine in my dark world,” Donghyuck admits… a bit weakly.

Jeno sees the sadness that passes through Donghyuck’s eyes. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were flirting with me,”

“Not really,” Donghyuck gulps looking down, trying to control the sudden knock of tears. He exhales and tightly smiles looking up. “I actually buried my girlfriend today. Hearing you sing just brought me to a place. Uhm, yeah,” Deep. Is all that Jeno can think as he listens to Donghyuck. “I guess I just wanted to acknowledge you for that,”

“I guess music really does have a way to connect people together,” Jeno smiles sadly too. “Even though she’s my ex now, I can’t imagine ever losing her to death. My condolences.”

“No biggie,” Donghyuck shrugs it off, clearing his throat. “Thanks for that,”

“I may not know your girlfriend, but I bet you loved her,” Donghyuck can only swallow back tears giving a brief smile. Jeno pats Donghyuck’s shoulder. “I was actually headed to one of my pal’s get together, wanna tag along? Might help you to relieve some stress,”

Donghyuck finds himself chuckling a little. “Not even gonna call this pal to make sure it’s okay?”

“The more the merrier,” Jeno smiles nudging his head forward as a sign that they should get going. Donghyuck doesn’t mind following along with Jeno. Throughout the walk Jeno talks about his ex girlfriend and how she cheated on him, and he was really depressed and as a way to de-stress himself, music came to him and allowed him to free himself. Donghyuck listens and wonders to himself if he’ll ever move on-

No.

He hears in his head. It’s not even an option. Why should he let you go especially knowing that there’s no one who will ever make him feel the same way as you? Why should he let go when he won’t find another like you? Why should he let go when he’s promised and dedicated his life to you? Why should he let go when you were his everything? How do people who break up begin to let go so easily? Is it because they were never in love- or because they found another? Donghyuck shakes his head, there’s no point in moving on especially if he didn’t get any closure.

It's very clear to Mr Zhong that Haechan and Sun are more in control of Donghyuck’s eagerness to not letting you. It’s clear that he might have to prepare himself in seeing you everyday. And that’s not an option he likes. So finally when Jeno and Donghyuck arrive to the ‘pals’ house- Mr Zhong actually gets thrilled when seeing the familiar face of Jaemin.

Y/n’s quote on quote fling.

The house is big, there are a bunch of guys and girls not exotically all over each other, but in a friendly state of a gathering. Donghyuck over hears something from Jeno as he comments that it’s a birthday of another friend- but Donghyuck could care less, especially when Jaemin also catches Donghyuck’s eyes.

Both have a deep stare down and instantly Mr Zhong takes front and center and immediately activates anger. Donghyuck’s lips twist in anger just as Jeno picks up on the tense atmosphere. He holds onto Donghyuck’s chest and with an arm around his shoulder he forces the ladder out of Jaemin’s equally engraved bitter eyes and to the kitchen.

“Am I missing something? Do you know Jaemin-”

“F-”

“She died because of you.”

Jeno’s ears are sharp when he turns to Jaemin who sucks in a breath after following them. Donghyuck turns around his eye twitching. “I beg your pardon? What did you say?”

“You heard me.” The teary red eyes of anger stare back into Donghyuck’s eyes as Jaemin balls his fist. For a very long time his thought about this encounter. Ever since hearing about your death over social media when one of your brothers posted that- Jaemin could only think of the last conversation you had with him. “You killed her.”

Donghyuck pounces but Jeno stands between the two hastily. “Yho yho Jaemin calm yourself, it’s Renjun’s birthday and he doesn’t want any of this.”

Jaemin is far from hearing that as he stares into Donghyuck’s eyes infuriated eyes. And Donghyuck isn’t even in the room anymore as his full focus is on Jaemin. “I buried my girlfriend today. Don’t forget that, she wasn’t your girlfriend, she was my girlfrien-”

“Cut that bullshit. She’s dead now all because of you. And you know what, she didn’t have to die- but you-” Jaemin stresses looking pain stricken. “You. It’s all your fault. If you hadn’t called her out that night she would’ve still been alive- matter of fact if you just gave her that space instead of always suffocating her then maybe- just maybe would she still be-”

“Excuse me? What the hell are you on ab-”

“God you’re so full of yourself.” Jaemin tries to step forward but Jeno’s hand stops him. “I loved her and she loved me. Do you honestly think- no do you really believe that she was happy in that claustrophobic relationship you provided her? Are you shitting me? You gas lighted her-

“Jaemin-”

“You filled her head with shit. Kept hurting her, manipulating her thoughts to think that she needed you at all times. You’re so controlling that you didn’t even realize that she was getting sick of you-”

“Listen here dude you know nothing about our relationship-”

“Oh but I know plenty pal,” Jaemin cries stuffling his anger. “You think you were good for her? Shit, you were draining and knowing now how possessive you are over her- I can just imagine the loniless she endured while being with you. Do you know she called me when you’d sleep? Or do you even know how much she cried to me? Do you even know where her heart lied truly? No. Because you continuously put her down. Continuously limited her. You didn’t know that girl like I did. You did not know her. She couldn’t even get out- always waiting for you and whatever you’d say.” Jaemin sniffs in blinking the tears away. “You selfish bastard, you kept her all for yourself and still have the nerve to claim her after death-”

Donghyuck has always been considered as a weak fighter- yet when he lands a punch right against Jaemin’s jaw! No one sees it coming, and that fuels Donghyuck to pounce on Jaemin and rattle him with each of his fists while his eyes wreak havoc in tears. By now there’s a crowd formed, howls of urgency just as Jeno and a bunch of other guys hold onto Jaemin and Donghyuck separating them. In the end- Donghyuck points a deadly finger at Jaemin who’s on the floor panting out in rage. “You know nothing about us. I loved her more than anything and I know for a fact that she loved me too. You weren’t even present at her funeral so what fucking say do you have over her life- If anything you were annoying- you still are annoying. Don’t you ever, EVER, speak of her again. You filthy piece of shit.”

Donghyuck passes by the flabbergasted faces of guys and leaves the house. After a heavy and teary walk where he constantly talks out loud blaming Y/n for dying. His feet find him in a 24/7 store as he buys liquor. He chugs it down shaking his head at the overwhelming thoughts pouring in his head from meeting Jaemin. This is the first time he’s confront Jaemin. Mr Zhong is glad that he can ‘pollute’ Donghyuck’s mind to the point where Sun and Haechan are both grieved and trying to believe that really Y/n is innocent. But it’s hard to believe that, especially since all that quote on quote crap came from Jaemin.

Y/n’s fling.

This all started a year ago when your relationship with Donghyuck began getting a little rocky. You became distant, and within the time of you being away from him, you met Jaemin. At this point only heaven knows what you’ve told Jaemin. Because ever since you patched things up with Donghyuck- Donghyuck began seeing a lot more of Jaemin around you. Seems like Jaemin had caught feelings. Donghyuck would note how you’d try to hide Jaemin away- but Jaemin was very vocal about how he felt towards you. Hell knows what you’ve done privately with Jaemin, but even the little thought of it makes Donghyuck boil. Because now you’re gone. Now you’re dead and all the answers he wants to get, he can’t get them because you’re a whole spiritual platform away from him. “How could you do this to me!? Was I really suffocating you? Then why’d you stay with me all this time? What was the point of us getting back together if your heart lied with him? What the hell was he talking about? Y/n! Why? Why? This isn’t fair.”

Getting home, slurring his words and mumbling curses to you and Jaemin’s abomination relationship. He enters his dark room.

You’re awakened when hearing a cry. By now darkness becomes your second vision when you open your eyes and still find yourself in the same dark place. But yet.. you still hear a cry. It’s Donghyuck’s cry. Why is he crying?

Feeling sad and sorrow filling you up, you think of how to get out of the room, and how to get to Donghyuck in order to help him out. You don’t like hearing him cry. Why is he crying? Meanwhile Mr Zhong on the other side of the door is with the others as they formulate a ‘Moving On Strategy’, but he doesn’t know that as you’re on the other side, miraculously you think of something…

If Mr Zhong could do it, then so can you. He mentioned something about the cyber dream being part of Donghyuck’s thoughts… imagination… So without any delay, you try your hardest and begin building in your head. You construct something that you’ve seen him use to teleport you places. That elevator…

You’re already in the elevator when you open your eyes again. Just think. Think. Where do you want to go? The elevator begins to go up high and you have to keep your self-balanced against the side when it gets rigid and shakes a little too strongly. Steady. Steady. You remind yourself while picturing Donghyuck’s room. Taking in a deep breath you allow yourself to focus and concentrate on getting the elevator to Donghyuck. Actually you don’t know why you suddenly thought of Donghyuck’s room… but it seems like the crying if from there.

The first thing you hear when the elevator door opens up is sniffing. Despite the time being 18h26 pm, his blinds shut out any light- creating a pitch back room- only being lit up by his phone’s brightness light. The room is similar to the way it was when you were in the Organs and Nerves center. You step out the elevator and carefully tread on the carpeted grounds of Donghyuck’s room. If you still had a pulse, a heartbeat, you’d be able to feel your emotions going all over the place. As soon as you see him, his disheveled appearance slouched and face so stiff in sadness, you get a headache from how stupid you’d been to have died.

Why did you have to die? Why? You were his everything… You were his, and now that he’s gone you just feel this cold atmosphere around him. Getting in front of him you bend down, holding onto his knee- only for you to nearly fall as you pass through him. You can smell that he’s drunk. You can smell that alcohol. Great. You can’t help the little squeak that leaves you, the little squeak of frustration as your head lightly throbs that you can’t touch him. Watching him in the face, and how he doesn’t even react to you is just another slap in the face that you’re… no longer living. Looking at his somber face you feel your throat clog up.

“Hyuck,” you blink when seeing he’s looking at your picture on his phone. “I’m sorry for leaving you,” You try to hold his face, but the way your ghostly hue flows past him has you just kneeling in front of him in pure and pitiful sadness. “Hyuck,”

Your sweet voice drowning in the silence as your eyes take him in.

Your arms keep passing him but right now you feel so close to him in the sense that you’re actually here with him. You can’t just be here and he doesn’t acknowledge you. You want him to acknowledge you…

You want him to feel you…

You just want him to look you in the eye and not be sad. You can’t stand this. You can’t stand being in him when outside he’s hurting. You don’t want him to hurt anymore.

Concentrating with everything in you, you brace yourself to touch him again. This time you tell yourself that you will. If you did it before at the hospital. “Feel me…” You can do it again. “Please,” Your fingers get a grip on his face… just a tingle and he instantly reacts.

Gasping out loud and looking around, you smile a little more as the rest of your fingers slide past his face until your whole hand is against the side of his face. “Hyuck…”

“Y/n?” You’re happy that he calls out your name, only except he doesn’t look at you or acknowledge your presence. He’s probably just having a reflex again. That doesn’t stop you from sliding your arm over his leg as you get back taking a seat next to him.

“I’m here,” You tilt your head to the side, willing yourself to wrap your arms around his torso. “I feel you Hyuck,”

His reaction to your touch is subtle as he stiffens and quietly breathes out. Can he feel it? Can he feel you?

“Can you feel me?” You whisper looking up to his face. “Look at me babe,”

He let’s out your name again from his lips sniffing. His eyes an ocean of red veins with tears dripping out. “Are you… Are you here with me right now?”

“Yes,” you nod your head a smile breaking out of your lips. “I never left you,” You place your hand over his chest rubbing it. Surely he can feel it because he places his own hand over his heart and bites his trembling lip. “I’m here,”

“I miss you so much,” He cries and shuts his eyes. He can’t hear you, but he can feel you. “I miss you so much…”

“I’m here,” You whisper out sniffing.

“No you’re not here… Jaemin was right,” He cries, and you hesitate a bit when hearing the foreign name. “I should’ve never came to see you, maybe you’d still be alive, maybe you’d-”

“It’s not your fault,” You mummer sadly listening to him blame himself. You gulp and shake your head rubbing his back. “Hyuck please stop, it was never your fault.” But he continues to speak… it’s when you understand that although he can feel you he actually can’t hear you.

“I wish I was there when you took your last breath. You took your last breath to a bunch of strangers and I wasn’t even there to… be with you.” He sniffs, hiccupping. He unpleasantly leans on his knees trying to control himself and his tears. “Were you scared? Taking your last breath, were you scared to cross over to the other side… you were alone. So alone. And that fucker blames me for suffocating you. Is that how you felt? Is that how you really felt? I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Is it better that side? Is it better wherever you are?” He runs his hand over his hair. “Are you really here with me? Can’t I… follow you?”

“No.” You get on your knees and assuredly hug his knees. “Hyuck please don’t talk like this. It hurts me to see you like this. It hurts without you. It hurts not being able to live,”

“Are you… really here?”

“I am baby,” You grip him tighter. Even though he can’t hear you, you’re just filled with joy by his presence. “And I don’t plan on leaving you, so please, please Hyuck,” just stop talking nonsense.”

“You’re all worn out Donghyuck,” he faintly chuckles to himself. “You’re even hearing her voice,”

Your ears perk as he speaks. Kneeling down but facing him, you touch his face. Caressing him. “I’m in you Hyuck. I’m here,”

He scoffs. “Was that crap Jaemin was talking about true?”

“What?”

“Did I really suffocate you? Did I hurt you? Did you always call on Jaemin when I slept- was he the one you hid from me? Why didn’t you tell me anything- why didn’t you just fucking break up with me, if I was always on your case- why are you here? Why aren’t you with him? I hate that you’re gone. I hate that you left when you could’ve been alive. This is all my fault.” Donghyuck drunkenly sinks on his bed crying out. You’re just confused about everything he busted out. What was going on in the surface? Did he meet Jaemin or something? Did he really speak to Jaemin? What was Jaemin even saying- the anticipation killing you.

His eyes open up… his pupils slightly enlarge. Your eyes go all over his face and you can only wonder what he can see. He sits up on the bed still looking shocked. And this time his eyes don’t budge from yours. “Hyuck?”

His lips part and he freezes. “Y/n?” He carefully calls your name. “Is this real?” He sucks in a sharp breath. “You’re really… hey…” His eyes water up and he gently smiles.

“Hey,” You bite your lip feeling teary eyed.

“Y/n? Babe? Am I hallucinating-”

“That’s enough.” Like a shadow emerging from the darkness- a hand grips tightly onto your arm yanking you back into the shadows.

“Stop!” Of course it’s Mr Zhong. In his black suit, he gives you no time of his attention as he just drags you. You grip and try to pull away but his durability is great compared to your weak state. “Hey!”

You’re thrown on the floor of the elevator- his elevator and the doors close. Getting up you’re cross faced towards Mr Zhong however, your eyes take in the scenery of Donghyuck standing up on his feet in his dark room. He’s stationed in place with his arms lightly out. He pulls his curtain open and looks around his room. Your heart aches when you watch him bury his head in his hands before getting down on the ground shivering and another unruly cry escapes his already raspy throat.

“Have you lost your mind?” You now yell at Mr Zhong being furious. “Have you lost-”

“No the real question is, have you lost your damn freaking mind?! Why only now when we’re trying to get him to move on past you? Why are you here? Do you not understand how dangerous it is for you to be up here? What is wrong with you? Do you actually know how much risk you put yourself in when you continue to engage with Donghyuck this way-”

“I don’t care! I don’t give a damn because I’m just as broken! I’m just as sad as he is. That’s my boyfriend. I died and left him alone-”

“So why are you here!” He infuriatingly lets out, not minding that it actually hurt your feelings. “Why are you here? You should be dead!”

“I’m here because he needs me!” Holding back your tears you push him back when he gets too close. “He clearly needs me and you’re stopping me. You can’t stop me-”

“He doesn’t need you! What could he possibly do with you if you’re dead? Be depressed? Be sick? Die and follow you to the grave? Exactly. You have no place here. And that’s why you need to leave now. When you leave you’ll give him room to move on. Your presence here is holding him back-”

“I don’t want to leave him! He’s mine and I am his!” You stand your ground against him who’s just making you feel all sorts of anger. “I love him! I just want to be with him!”

His cheek pops out as he shakes his head folding his arms. “Well too bad. You just earned yourself a week in the cellar. If you do not want to cooperate with me then I’ll get you out of here by myself.”

“What is wrong with you? Why can’t I just-” The elevator door opens up and he’s back to grabbing you not paying mind to a word you say. You try to tell him to stop but he’s not letting you go. He drags you all the way to his room and tosses you inside, locking the door behind him, leaving you alone in his dark room. You huff and puff bang the door. But he doesn’t come back for you. Leaving you all alone.

Donghyuck returns back to work, melancholy and quiet. A few people from work greet him and pat his back just as others wish him well and pass their condolences. He sighs when nothing eventful happens throughout the day. He ends up going back home with the lingering thought of what occurred last night. Not the fight between him and Jaemin… but how he saw you. Or at least he wants to believe that he saw you. But he was drunk… there’s no way.

Another day passes, uneventful with him going home and sleeping. Another day passes and he feels so very alone and cries the whole day before getting up to go to work. He visits your grave, but nonetheless, he is troubled deeply. Mr Zhong inside is satisfied that everything is going according to plan. A few more days of melancholy will bring Donghyuck to slowly move on from you. And it so happens that when Donghyuck visits the grave again, he sees Taeyong.

“Oh,” Taeyong acknowledges Donghyuck. “How are you Donghyuck?”

“Hanging in there,”

“Yeah,” Making small talk with each other, they spend a good amount of time reminiscing on you that Donghyuck finally decides to open up something. “I… I’ve seen her a few times.” He meekly lets out while looking at your tombstone. “I’ve seen her a few times... even felt her. It’s like… she’s still here,”

Taeyong doesn’t respond immediately. He lets the words process before he can speak. “That night… after burying her, when we were eating… I felt her presence. It was like she was in the room with us. I don’t know what to make of it, but… If you feel her, then it should be a good sign. Maybe she’s looking after us before she… goes. Lucky you,”

It's sitting in the darkness of the room for several days and nights that has you feeling angry. You know what you have to do. You have to get back to Donghyuck. This guy (Mr Zhong) can’t keep trapping you down here.

If you can concentrate really hard then you might be able to get out of here. If you concentrate to the extreme you’ll be able to see him again. Only except everything in this room is dark and just so hard to see anything appear. You feel all kinds of annoyance gnawing upon you. But you hold yourself steady trying to think of an elevator again- or any means of escape. “Please let me just go to wherever Donghyuck is.” It’s only when you hear a pop(!) do you rapidly open your eyes when hearing the wind. Instead of a room, you’re actually outside. But it doesn’t appear to be the real world, instead it’s it really looks like the dreamscape city, only that it’s filled with clouds and buildings of all shapes and sizes are on the clouds. You turn your head back and forth hoping to see someone but you don’t. “Hello?” You logically call out.

“Yes?”

Snapping back and forth to find the source that is heard everywhere you look up to the pale orange bright sky. “Uhm, hi? Where are you?”

“Everywhere,” He clears out your thoughts. “Welcome to Dream Land, where every night we provide Donghyuck with a dream.”

Dreams… You can work with that. “So, what can I do if I want to be a part of Donghyuck’s dreams?” The silence follows for a few minutes, before you ask something else, not knowing if it’s ignoring you or what. “Can I be a part of Donghyuck’s dream?”

“Log in a file with Dream Corp and we’ll process it before Donghyuck arrives.”

“And where can I find that?” You furrow your brows. “And what do you mean before Donghyuck arrives?”

“Jump off.”

“What?”

This time the silence is everlasting. “I guess I’m jumping off.”

But just as you’re about to jump off- you take notice of you see him…. You see Donghyuck. You can’t believe your eyes, but you begin running towards him on the bumpy clouds. He walks to the edge just as your almost close to him and when he jumps you gasp but also jump after him. Thankfully your body clashes into his- and you grip him tight in a hug not letting him go. The wind blows and tugs on your body making you feel dizzy and sick but you hold on tight to Donghyuck. “Hyuck?” It doesn’t look like he realizes, but you see that his eyes are shut. Checking to see where you’re falling- you see the sky slowly turning dark before all of a sudden-

You’re thrusted straight onto a heavy ground. It doesn’t hurt like you expect it too- Donghyuck gets up still with his eyes closed and begins walking. There’s no time to adjust to your scenery or rather the pure blue sky with green grass blowing gently with 5 doors present for Donghyuck.

“Who’s in control?” You hear the skies asking.

“Sun.” A drowsy Donghyuck speaks.

“What door will you go through today?” The skies ask again. “We’ve got a quiet room, a nightmare seems to be brewing, a message from the angels and oh- Dream land informs me that Y/n has followed you.”

“In which… room will she be in?” You hear Donghyuck ask. As you walk forward to see his face, he doesn’t seem to be looking at you. Suddenly a thought comes inside of you to pick a door, where you’d like to speak with him.

Standing by a door, you hear the sky hum out. “She’s in room number 3. But beware, she didn’t pick an unoccupied dreamscape, she picked the dreamscape with the angels, so beware of Angels voices.

Donghyuck without hesitation follows to the room. You look at Donghyuck who opens up the door and you follow him.

“Where the hell is she?” As a nightly routine Mr Zhong enters your room to check up on you. Not seeing you on the bed he groans and walks in moving everywhere until he can determine that you’re not inside. Using his elevator he goes up to the surface and doesn’t see you in Donghyuck’s room. He comes back inside and furrows. He tries to sense for your presence but you’re nowhere around- he’ll be damned if he asks anyone if they’ve seen you. So he decides to go through some territories. The first is Sun.

Entering into the body territory he’s surprised to see what’s on the screen… is that… You?

“Sun what’s going on here?”

“We’re scheduled to be in Dreamland today, but you won’t believe who we encountered.” Sun speaks just as everyone looks too excited that they leap with joy around the body center. Mr Zhong shakes his head as he draws closer to the screen monitor- the monitor which reflects what Donghyuck can see in the Dream World.

You and him are talking… having a conversation. “What are they talking about?”

“We’re still in shock. We’ve been holding her here in place because his alarm clock is gonna ring in 10 minutes, we called Haechan over. He’s coming soon. It’s a shame he decided to make Donghyuck sleep at freaking 4 am in the morning, knowing very well that we need Donghyuck to rest up. The angels tried taking her away. What do you think this means?”

Mr Zhong curses. He can’t get you out of Dream Land by force, because he has no access there. How on earth did you get there? This is getting dangerous. If Haechan comes then-

“I came as quick as I heard the news. Where is she?”

“There.”

“Could it be? Is… is it really her?” He whimpers as he gets close to the screen. “Can I talk to her?”

“Yes, here.” Sun hands over the control to Haechan.

You watch Donghyuck’s head dip for a moment. “Hyuck? Hyuck? Is everything alright?” Sitting on the white blanket over the high grass, you just spent your time listening to the… angel… a huge white cloud covered in mist…. All the Angel did was stretch it’s hand towards you, repeating the phrase ‘Come home.’ You were so tempted to go… not knowing where, but Donghyuck held you back. The angel… kept saying ‘Come home’. And even now as Donghyuck holds onto his head, you wonder if he’s switching personalities from Sun to someone else… you hope it’s not Mr Zhong. So when he comes to a start you call: “Haechan?”

“How did you know it’s me? You still look so beautiful, my baby,” His teary eyes open and you smile holding onto his cheek. He holds onto your hand and kisses the inside of your palm. “You’re really here, I miss you so much, these past few days have been drowsy and lonely without you.”

“I don’t know how long I have until the dream is over, but I need your help Haechan,” You draw closer to him. “I know it’s going to be hard to believe, but ever since I’ve died… I’ve been here with you. Inside of your conscious…”

“You’ve been here? My conscious? That’s impossible.”

“Yes, every day I’ve been here. Close to you, hearing everything you’ve been doing. I fear that something is happening, they’re trying to make you forget me.” You nod your head trying to come clean. “I’ve been with a guy called Mr Zhong, and he keeps wanting me to get out of here. He’s in the Core-”

“Wait wait wait what?” He backs up- “You had her all this time?” By now you know he’s not talking to you but someone else… in his head, as he looks to the side looking confused. “What do you mean she’s lying? Then who the hell am I speaking to? She said-”

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

You’re jolted to the side and suddenly… You’re back in the dark room. “What?” You get off the bed and wonder what happened? You run to the door- almost falling over when it opens instantly. Mr Zhong.

“I could strangle you to death right now.” He huffs and fumes. Holding his hand out, you watch on object appear. “I’m bounding you in chains. Because I can’t trust you.” You’re surprised when he holds onto your hand and chains you to the bed. You plead in shock trying to pull away. He gets tape and places it over your lips. You watch him walk out the room before a pit of darkness is formed. Muffling your cries you can’t believe that this is happening again. How long will he trap you in here? It’s not fair.

The next day Donghyuck awakes from a confused dream, he remembers seeing you and hearing you. He saw you wanted to go to the light but he held you back pleading you to stay with him. He goes to work, it’s a FrIday so the day drags as he’s got no plans.

Meanwhile inside of him, there’s a full on search for you.

Sun begin to ‘take the wheel’ and run Donghyuck’s body, simply because Mr Zhong is in a meeting with Haechan. Thus, leaving Donghyuck to be run by Sun. Who is active tonight.

Donghyuck finds himself in a bar. Dimmed lights, bass so low, alcohol and pool tables being the only source of entertainment for the few loitering people inside the bar on the casual Friday night. Donghyuck is obviously here for the alcohol to drink and just forget... and slowly pass into tomorrow. He doesn’t want to wake up. If anything he wishes to dream about you again. He doesn’t want to feel anything. He just wants to be numb and drink… It’s what the Body wants anyway. The pain of crying for your death is too much… they just want to be numb.

“Hey,”

Donghyuck looks up to the bartender… It’s Jisung. Unlike the other days when Jisung’s face is upbeat and ready for a conversation, he looks down casted, and Donghyuck can guess why. “Hi.” He greets back lowly clearing his throat that sounded so clogged and choked from crying. “Can I get a row of shots.”

Jisung nods his head.

“Regular or-”

“No.” Donghyuck shakes his head. “I want something strong. Really, really strong.”

“Coming right up.” He’s tempted to go, but after hearing the news and seeing all over his social media about your death, he sticks around. “Sorry about your loss man,” He pipes up. He’d recall how you and Donghyuck used to be tight. You guys would often come to the bar to celebrate together… in a quiet space, laughing and giggling, getting tipsy and touching each other till you’d both go home and do just what he can imagine. You were a pleasure in Jisung’s low key bar. He enjoyed seeing a young couple be together for a long time and staying consistent to their ‘Friday night bar night’. Not only did he know he’d get money on that day, but he also knew you’d grace him with compliments about how fine he looks especially when you wanted to make your boyfriend a bit jealous. But now seeing Donghyuck here all on his own, looking like shit is a representation of how he must feel inside.

“It’s cool.” Donghyuck quickly discards. You were friendlier with Jisung then Donghyuck was. “Can I just have my shots?”

But Jisung is in a caring mood tonight and opts for a conversation instead. “You know, I lost a friend of mine once, and I realized that drinking my pain away wouldn’t do much, so I-”

‘Why the fuck is he not giving me my drinks?’ Sun complains looking at the screen of Donghyuck’s eyes. ‘Ask him again.’

Donghyuck interrupts Jisung. “Look man, tonight’s just not one of those nights. I just want to drink.”

“Truth be told, you actually look like you need a chat. And all I’m saying is that I’m all ears-”

“Thanks for the offer, I’ll take it into consideration.” Donghyuck tightly smiles with no emotions in his eyes. “But may I please just have my drinks.”

Jisung takes the hint when seeing Donghyuck’s cold gaze. “Ayt, but just so you know-”

Banging the table furious and abruptly standing up Donghyuck grabs Jisung by the collars staring at him deadly in the eye. “I just want a fucking drink.” Grating his teeth, Donghyuck tosses Jisung back, leaving the poor guy startled by what just happened.

“Alright shit. I’ll get you your damn drinks.” Jisung stares shocked and eyes still in a daze. “Just calm the fuck down before you get beat the fuck up.” Jisung turns around still with an upset gaze as he fixes up the drinks.

“You know what,” Donghyuck doesn’t finish his sentence as he gets up and heads out. You weren’t here anymore it would be pointless to carry on the tradition without you. He’s just gonna go to the club.

“Come with me.” Is the first thing Mr Zhong says when opening up the door. He unchains you just by opening up the palm of his hand.

“Where?”

He ignores you and carries on walking. Trying to show him that you’re angry is pointless as he doesn’t even pay mind to your face. He steps in the elevator and you’re next to him before the doors close and suddenly you’re in a dimly lit place.

“I must warn you.” Mr Zhong speaks as he steps out. “The Mind’s layout isn’t as civil as the upper Core or Cyber Dream.” Mr Zhong places his hand on the handle of a door that reads ‘MIND’ and grips it tightly. “Stay by me at all times. And please, do not touch anything. That’s a warning.”

“I won’t.” You grumpily say, as realization dawns on you that you’re going to the Mind. Walking behind Mr Zhong at all times, you tremble with every step, as the floors shake. “Why’s the floor shaking so much?” You question and stand still when you feel another heavy tremor.

Mr Zhong sighs. “That’s not the Mind for sure, the Body is partying or something.”

“Partying?” You go on. “You could’ve just used your elevator.”

“Unfortunately here I can’t use much of my power, because this isn’t my domain or territory.” Mr Zhong fills you in. “When we’re in the Upper part of Donghyuck’s body, I’m in control. But from the neck downwards, this is the Body and Mind’s layers.”

Still following behind Mr Zhong, you take in all the aspects of the Mind, which is a literal bloody sight. The walls are hollow red with veins gauging out from time to time and blood being spilled before a few ‘workers’ in red… just with empty faces quickly come and clean up. Everywhere is red, veiny and just so flesh like. The deeper you go, the darker it gets. Maroon and smelling like his natural scent. Right now you feel so close to him even though you can’t see him. There’s a door that says ‘heart’ and you furrow your brows.

“Are we going in there?”

“You’re about to head into Donghyuck’s heart. Literally.” Mr Zhong is about to speak, but the space and area around gets darker then usual, not even the maroon bloody lights can light up the way to the door. “We have to hurry, the Body is doing things that I hate again.”

“Such as?”

“Drinking. I don’t know if you recall but Donghyuck once exposed to alcohol, large portions of it, he does crazy things.” You get a flash of Donghyuck drinking and you recall just how wild he was. Mr Zhong mumbles finally getting to the door. “A damn alcoholic.”

Just from opening up the door, you feel this deflated downing energy, everything is lifeless and your ears are exposed to weeping. You swear that’s one of the common sounds you’ve been hearing from Donghyuck. He’s just been a crying mess. Instantly you feel emotional and your eyes water up as well. Why’d you have to leave him all alone? The room is still dark but every once in a while it flashes a little maroon and then you’re able to take in the view. Just like the upper Core room, it’s spacious but instead of multiple little Donghyuck’s running around, there’s only one person seated behind a desk looking at screens. When you look at the screen you see dimed videos of your face, your lips, your laugh and how the specific moments shown on the screen remind you of special times you’ve had with Donghyuck.

Whether it’s holding hands and just looking up to him with innocent eyes. Or your muted talking as you smile at him. Haechan, The Mind seems to be watching it all.

There’s one where you’ve just won the scrabble competition (in which you represented your university) and you jump up high cheering on as the crowd around and your teammates also join in on the celebration. You can see Donghyuck from his eyes point of view running towards you yelling out in pure ecstasy and joy! Once he gets to you, he lifts you up so high that you begin laughing, and when he brings you back down, your lips and his merge and he holds you so tight. You recall how the week before you were so stressed that you deprived him of any kisses, of any attention just so that you could study and prepare for the competition. So to watch it again, brings a memory to your head of how thrilled Donghyuck was on your behalf.

Another video that plays on the screen in how you’re sitting on his lap as he plays video games. You’re on your phone texting your friend while he’s immersed into the game and talking to his friends over the microphone. It was just calm and simple, and then out of nowhere he kissed your cheek. “I love you, you know that right?”

“I know,” You smiled at him placing a kiss over his lips. “I love you too,”

One video captures your attention the most. It’s just your face as you’re sleeping. The room is a bit dark, but from Donghyuck’s eyes he can see you. He leans close and kisses your forehead. You hum out with a little chuckle.

“Babe just sleep,”

“I can’t,” he whispers, and you can tell he’s smiling. You can’t remember this at all, but just watching how pure everything looks as he draws closer to you and wraps his arms around you. Moaning and continuously pampering your face with kisses. “This is the first time you’re sleeping here in my room, and I’m just realizing how perfect you are for me,”

“Hyuck, sleep,” You giggle. “You’re pussy drunk,” you mumble but still accept his kisses on your face.

You can hear him laughing… “You were so good tonight,” he whispers. You smile to yourself, in faint remembrance, it’s the first time you made love to him. You were flattered the entire night, and he was submissively dominant with you and at the end, he couldn’t stop admiring and praising you. “I can’t believe how good you were,”

There’s a long pause of silence. “My parents would’ve killed you,”

“Why?”

“We had sex before marriage,” you mutter out. Donghyuck looks down to how your arms wrap around him and you get closer to his body. “I don’t think they’d approve,”

Donghyuck is silent for a really long time before he finally speaks. “The purpose of marriage, to my understanding as you’ve said before, is for emotional commitment. We’ve been together for like 4 years now. If we weren’t in love at that moment, then it was just going to be sex. But right now, tell me what you feel? Was it just sex?”

Donghyuck looks down to you as you look up to him with a little smile. You shake your head. “It wasn’t just sex because I felt safe. As in, I wasn’t scared to give you my whole body, my whole mind… my everything. I’m not scared or anything, because I know that you’re my lover, and I will always be there for you. The same way you’ll be there for me, right?” Your eyes look so hopeful.

“You have no idea how much, I just want to spend the rest of my life with you,” Donghyuck smiles kissing your lips as you kiss his again.

“I feel like I don’t want this night to end,” You lay your head on his chest and Donghyuck’s fingers play with your back and your head.

“Same here,” he mumbles. “So let’s make it official,”

That gets you to turn your head and rest your chin on his chest. “What are you saying Hyuck?” You laugh a little. “That was just so sudden,”

“You’re so beautiful like this,” he giggles, running his hand over your hair and down your face. “I’m saying we make it official. Courtship. Let’s just spend the rest of these months seeing what marriage would be like, and if you like, I’ll buy you a ring,”

You squint your eyes at him with a playful smile. “Dude, are you serious?” You laugh. “Is this like a proposal or something?”

“I mean, I can’t get on my knee now and propose can I?”

“Donghyuck,” You can’t stop smiling as you watch him get up. You too get up as you wrap the blanket over your boobs. Donghyuck sits up and reaches down into his pants. Your eyes enlarge when he gets out a ring. Thankfully, as you remember, it’s his own ring. “For a second there, I thought that was a real ring.”

“But then again, wouldn’t you want me to propose in a grand dramatic way?” He chuckles as he holds his hand out. You place yours on his hand and he kisses it looking at you. “Here’s my ring, this will be my commitment to you.”

“So much for a purity ring,” You giggle as you watch him place the ring on your index finger.

“It can still be a purity ring,” He pats your chin. “Just with a different meaning. We’ll wait again,”

“Hyuck this is huge,” You whisper, blushing and looking at the ring. “I don’t know if I’m saying yes because I’m dick drunk, or if I really want to,”

“That’s why I said, we’ll wait,” He lays back down, just as you follow him. You’re just giggling as you lay your head on his chest.

“Hyuck you’re crazy, right now you’re just crazy,” You’re laughing as you look up to him. “I’m just as crazy,”

“Crazy people get divorced even after promising each other that they wouldn’t.” Donghyuck says. “I don’t plan on making a commitment I can’t keep. Especially when it involves you babe,”

“Same here,” You whisper out. “I guess, till death do us apart,”

“Never,” Donghyuck shakes his head. “My love for you goes beyond that. Even in the next life, if there is one. I just want to keep loving you… and only you. No one else. I’d probably not be able to move on,”

Mr Zhong hears that, and he can remember that the Upper Core wasn’t in control that night, neither was the Body. The one in control was the Mind, Haechan. Mr Zhong reminiscences just how he was that night when Donghyuck was mindlessly pouring out his heart. Mr Zhong knew that his friend loved you so much, but hearing this confession, these were the Mind’s thoughts. He never knew it ran this deep. He thought it was just a physical attraction to you. That the Body, Sun, loved your body and was finally happy to have sex with someone. Mr Zhong didn’t know that the one in control of these recurring feelings was the Mind. It just explains how precious you are to Donghyuck as a whole. It also just goes to show how far Haechan was willing to go if he gave you a ‘purity’ ring. Mr Zhong turns to you, and you’re a crying mess. You’re crying silently and he can only guess that Haechan too is crying silently while watching this. He sighs. He already got in so much trouble for hiding you. There was no way now that Haechan would release you.

Your voice catches Haechan and he instantly presses pause on the video snapping his head back. Of course his teary eyes are red from mourning you, but when he sees you and Mr Zhong, his posture immediately straightens and he tries to act cool. “You’re here.” He clears his throat. “I was just…”

“Haechan.” Mr Zhong moves forwar-

“Were you really going to marry me?” You ask.

Haechan’s eye instantly go over to you. Your face still so real and beautiful. He nods his head. His voice coming out lowly, afraid that you’ll be taken away just like all the other times. This time he takes in your presence and beauty… you’re here. “I wanted to, I still do,” he tilts his head to the side as you get swamped in his eyes. “You’re just as beautiful,”

Your heart swells with such pain, and you gulp looking down. “Mr Zhong,” You turn to Mr Zhong, pleadingly. Mr Zhong can tell where it’s going, and he doesn’t want you to go there in that direction so he looks away from you and continues talking to the Mind.

“Haechan.” He calls, bringing Haechan’s eyes away from you and to him. “Right now we’re in a dilem-”

The ground shakes tremendously and Mr Zhong holds onto the chair just as Haechan keeps his hands on the desk. You meanwhile sway with the violent shake. It happened again.

Mr Zhong sighs. “Haechan, you know how reckless Sun is when he’s in control. Please. I came here to just talk to you about Y/n and how you have to let her go.”

“Straight to the point.” Haechan scoffs and looks away. “After hiding her away from us you just want to bring her back and then take her away again. You’re so full of shit.”

“You know what will happen if she stays here longer. I know it’s hard to-” Mr Zhong quivers when another tremor erupts. Shit. Donghyuck is probably in a club or something, drinking badly and the body is allowing him to do whatever.

“You know what Mr Zhong. I’m not in a mood to talk to you.” Haechan starts and presses some buttons on the keyboard trying to see what’s going on out there. Unlike when the core loses control to the body, the mind can actually gain control back. But when seeing where Donghyuck is, Haechan shakes his head. In a club. With several bodies jumping and bumping into him. And to make it worse, Donghyuck is tipsy. How much did he drink? “You said we should have 2 weeks of grieving. I can grant you that. But I can’t let go of Y/n,”

“Haech-”

“Bro she’s here.” Haechan turns around snapping. “She’s literally here.” His voice pipes down. “She’s not just some imagination like I thought she was. I thought I was going crazy, but man, she’s here. Do you know I felt when Donghyuck was about to die when going down that mountain in speed… and then I saw and heard her voice? Do you know how shitty I felt when Jaemin accused me of killing her? Do you have any idea how worthless I’ve been feeling these past days just seeing myself in the mirror? But the mere thought of her… Mr Zhong… just thinking of her, I’d feel whole again. That night when I first felt her hand I didn’t know what to believe. But then I saw her. I stopped Donghyuck from ending it, because of her. I thought she was just a... a figment of his imagination. But she’s not. She’s real. She’s here. I just want to be here with her,”

“You’re gonna regret it.” Mr Zhong whispers out of your ear shot and he gets closer to Haechan. “Do you want her to become like me?”

That seems to get Haechan upset as he pushes on Mr Zhong’s chest. You can only wonder what’s happening as you see the anger cross over Haechan’s eyes. “She won’t become like you.”

“How sure are you?” Mr Zhong clinches his jaw. His eyes deadly and even a bit tearful. “How sure are you that she won’t be st-”

“Because I love her!” Haechan yells out. “And times are different. She’s here for a reason. And that’s what I’ll keep my mind to.”

“Haechan yo-” Another tremor causes Mr Zhong to screech out in annoyance. He needed to get out of here and try and gain control of Donghyuck again to get him out of the bar and go home… but now, he’s just really upset that Haechan doesn’t want to consider his thoughts. “Fuck. I can’t stand this. I already told you that this isn’t up for discussion. I’m doing everyone here a favor. Afer 2 weeks. I’ll make her leave. Let’s go.”

“Can I just stay here for little bit Mr Zhong,” You ask gently still looking at Haechan. When he looks at you too, simultaneously you can feel like there’s a literal connection.

“No you can’t stay here.”

“But-”

“I said let’s go.”

“Come to think of it.” Haechan speaks up with his eyes turning to a glare when looking at Mr Zhong. “You defiled me by going behind my back and assigning her to the Core. Who made you in charge of her?”

Mr Zhong sighs. “It’s the fact that I knew that if you knew, or rather if anyone else in this place knew that she was alive in, that you wouldn’t let her go. I was protecting her. From this.”

“You don’t have to protect her anymore. She’s got her own conscious. Her own mind.”

“Let’s go.” Mr Zhong turns his back and walks to the door not wanting to argue about this.

Your heart is beating fast, but when Haechan’s soft gaze turns to you, as if telling to do what you must, you feel safe being with him. “No.”

“No?” Mr Zhong turns around in stun and surprise. He stomps to you, but you’re quickly pulled back just as Haechan gets in front of you. “Haechan get out of my face.”

“She said no.” Haechan’s low voice is nothing to mess with as he sounds threatening. “Last I checked. You’re in my territory. You’ve got no power here. So leave. Before I make you.”

“Haechan.”

“Mr Zhong.” Haechan calls firmly. You peek from behind Haechan, and Haechan can feel just how your tiny fingers gently come up on his sides. He misses this. He misses this feeling. “I said leave.”

Mr Zhong clinches his jaw. He strides out with so much anger in him. When the door closes, there’s another tremor that makes itself known. But you hold tighter onto Haechan as his hands stretch out behind you making sure you’re steady.

Haechan’s fingers over you, and yours on his sides makes you feel good.

Even though you’ve always been around the others who look like Donghyuck, being alone right now with Haechan feels equivalent to being with Donghyuck. You just want to see his face. You want to feel him. To just…

“I just want you to be alive,” Haechan steals the words from your lips, as he whispers it to you. Still not being able to look at your face. He’s finally alone with you, but it feels so sacred.

“But I’m here,” you mutter and peek your head on his shoulder looking into his eyes. “It’s you that’s not here,”

“I am though,” That gets him to slowly turn around and longingly tilt his head down. “I’m the realist thing to Donghyuck. His spirit,” Haechan’s eyes that were clear are now glassy. You’re so real… He can’t believe you’re here. “But Mr Zhong is right,” He sniffs surprisingly himself when saying that. It feels good to have you this real in front of him. “You can’t stay here,” But he doesn’t want to ruin things.

“Why?” You shake your head, your arms still being around him as your eyes search all over his own. “Why can’t I be here with you, isn’t this better than actually being dead?”

“Is it,” He runs his hands down your face. “It fucking is.”

Once Mr Zhong gets to the Upper core room, he’s stunned when looking at the screen and seeing Donghyuck making out with some random woman... “You’ve gotta be shitting me. What the hell is the Body doing?”

But also down at the Body, Sun is surprised by the sudden kiss that Donghyuck gives to a random lady. Of course the lady is confused at first but then she gives into the kiss and has her arms around him. “That’s not us. Who’s in control right now?”

Haechan picks you up by your waist, as you wrap your legs around him. “I just want you so bad right now,”

“Have me all you want,” You’re breathless when kissing Haechan back equally as hard and longingly.

All the way in the control centers, Sun tries to stop the action of Donghyuck getting down on a girl. Mr Zhong watches as Donghyuck is hooked to the girl he’s making out with- it’s getting pretty strong as instantly Donghyuck’s hormones act as an edge for him to feel needy and lustful. And thus, the Core’s lights slowly begin to shut down… allowing the body to have full control of the erotic moment.

“We’re supposed to be grieving, what the hell.” Mr Zhong walks away, not wanting to feel any part of these emotions.

Sun in the Body center feels the heat just from the simple kiss turning to French, but he too wonders who’s in control of the heavy, needy, lustfully intention. He watches as the familiar lights turn dim showing that the body is not in control. Although he watches, he’s quite upset that it’s not Y/n that Donghyuck is kissing.

However for Haechan who’s full on hands with you, doesn’t notice the bright light shining within the mind, showing that he’s now in full control.

Donghyuck has no time to think, he’s thoughts are clouded by the steamy make out session that he has with the lady. They move from the dance floors to the public toilet, barely even walking straight and moving in a tipsy needy way to one of the stalls, Donghyuck’s morals are forsaken when he takes the girl in a seemingly loving passionate way. As he’s drunk it’s difficult for him to control or focus, but one thing he knows is that for some reason in this moment… he feels closer to you. You’re here with him. He can strongly feel that. Even though the little part in his core knows it’s not you, he still feels your strong presence.

Haechan places you on a table in another section of his own control center, your lips not leaving his once just as he unfastens his band and pulls down his pants till his waist. You pull your skirt up and remove your underwear, Haechan gently places his tip in between your wet folds before breaking the kiss and taking a peek at you. Your cheeks are a shade pink and you nervously smile. “Do you trust me?”

“Always,” Your heart beat syncs again as he keeps his grip on your waist, with his other hand on his member as it strokes over your wet folds. It’s the fact that he was your first and you’ve only done it once with him, but you still feel so cautious and nervous. Being here with him in... inside of Donghyuck, you still feel so much love and passion oozing out of him, and all the emotions are washed into you. When he pushes more into you, you arch your back and hold him closer.

“Hyuck,”

Donghyuck hears the soft whimper in his head, he hears your soft yelp and it only causes him to pull the random girl closer to him. His lips find hers, envisioning it as ‘yours’- but even though he envisions it – he still feels strongly close to you. Haechan takes control allowing you to feel much more comfortable as he moves a bit quicker. Donghyuck feels so much pleasure as he pounds harder and faster making love to you- even though he’s with a random person.

Even when he locks eyes with her all he can see in his head is you. He can hear you, he can feel you. He doesn’t know how, but feeling so close to you in this moment allows him to hold you close. Mr Zhong tries to block out the protruding thoughts that Donghyuck thinks over and over again. The moaning, the love making-

His eyes slowly enlarge… “The body is not in control right now… because Donghyuck’s drunk… that means… Haechan’s having sex with Y/n.” Mr Zhong cuss when realizing that disobeyed him and that you’re probably touching Haechan right now. “What’s wrong with this girl?” He gets up from his chair quickly using his elevator to go down to The Mind. Once the elevator door opens up, he speed walks along the long bloody corridor trying to reach to Haechan’s center quickly.

The random girl’s legs grip Donghyuck’s waist closer to her as he pounds harder and faster, getting sloppier each time she squirts. He’s weak, he can feel an overwhelming amount of pleasure. His eyes are tightly shut kissing the girl’s face off. But then-

All of a sudden he feels like he’s getting slapped. A sharp slap gets him falling out of the girl and on the floor.

“Oh- are you okay?” The girl asks slightly frustrated that she was close before pulled out suddenly, heavily panting, her legs shaking begging for more. She uses her own fingers to finish off closing her eyes angling her head upwards.

Donghyuck however is still in a trance. Did someone just slap him? He blinks several times to get rid of being dizzy, but all he can see is his stiffly hard cock popping. He gets up holding onto the sink. He tries to calm himself off. It’s strange how suddenly, he’s no longer in the mood to get off. Stuffing his stiff manhood back in his drawer and getting his pants up, he looks up at the mirror- ignoring the girl who’s finishing off by herself. In the mirror he sees himself.

Tired. Drained.

He calls your name silently when thinking back to what he saw and heard in his head. It’s like you where there with him. He could feel you, literally feel you. Woozily moving to the side, he watches the girl squeal out before another stream of cum leaves her throbbing pink pussy. It doesn’t turn him on, it only makes him feel sad, especially when the girl’s face is revealed. Its not you. He steps back, finding himself out of the toilet and eventually drunkenly passing by the crowd trying to get himself to go out.

The fast pace emotions and mind wondering what’s going on inside of him- he stops once he’s outside the club and hurls out on the ground. Some passers pull gross faces moving away from him, the bouncer of the club groans and grabs a handful of Donghyuck’s shirt before violently tossing him further away from the club doors. Donghyuck hits his head and suddenly he’s out of conscious.

“Hyuck,”

“Mh?”

“Hyuck wake up,”

“Hm?”

Donghyuck’s head is buzzing when hearing something… your voice. He jolts up instantly when pairing it to your voice, but… you’re nowhere in sight. Left and right he turns his head before wincing and holding onto his stomach. He notices that he’s somehow by your family old home, by the graveyard… wait… how did he get here?

Minutes before….

“No!” Mr Zhong grabs your hand forcing you out of Haechan’s grip. “No more!”

“Why the hell do you want me gone so bad!” You screech pulling your hand violently away from him just as he shuts the door to lock Haechan away and his elevator comes. “Why can’t I just be happy with Donghyuck-”

“Look around! This isn’t the fucking real world anymore.” Mr Zhong motions around when suddenly the elevator reaches the Upper Core room. Of course some core members are surprised when seeing you, but now, even though Donghyuck/Sun is drunk, it’s no secret that you’ve been inside of him for a long time. “You’re trapped here! The longer you fool around here, the harder it’ll be for you to get out-”

“And what if I don’t want to go out! What if I want to be here, inside of him!” Your eyes water up. “What if I don’t want to go- he buried my body ready to leave me behind… what if I’m afraid of leaving him, of leaving everything behind- of just… of just dying.” Weakly your legs give out as you fall to the ground when he tosses you in his dark room.

He’s about to close the door on you but you shed some tears saying something that has him frozen in spot. “I don’t want to go Mr Zhong. I don’t want to leave everything behind. I’m not ready to die. I don’t want to leave Donghyuck. I love him. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to die. I just want to love him… I just want him. I want my life back… I want him so much.”

Mr Zhong watches you on the floor balling your eyes out. The realization coming again that you’re dead and that really you have left the world. Silently he takes a seat on the ground allowing you your moment to grieve. He knows it’s hard. He knows what you’re feeling. He knows it all. He understands your tears and pain, it’s why he tries to cool himself down to speak to you more calmly.

“I’m going to tell you a little story.” He speaks in a whispering tone. “And if this doesn’t change your mind, I promise you I’ll stop trying to get you out of here.” He gulps. “If this story doesn’t change your mind, you’ll be stuck in here… with me. Like me. You’ll have Donghyuck, but it’s not as luxurious as it seems.”

You quietly exhale listening to him as that gets your attention. You look at him seated across from you. Even though darkness is second nature, you can still see him. And by his words, you already prepare yourself to stay with Donghyuck… Haechan and Sun, because there is nothing that he will say that will make you want to leave. You just can’t wait to stay with Haechan.

“Donghyuck was only 9 years old when this happened. He met a boy. An 8 year old boy. A foreign exchange student who moved from China to Korea. Donghyuck and the boy instantly clicked despite the language barrier. They clicked in such a way that the young boy’s parents were relieved that their son had made a friend. Donghyuck taught the boy how to speak and was just of much help to the young boy whenever. The boy’s parents loved Donghyuck. So it was only natural that Donghyuck and the young boy ended up becoming best friends who did everything together.”

Your ears are attentive when listening to this story. You’re hooked, not because of the young 9 year old Donghyuck, but because of how Mr Zhong speaks. This is almost the first time he’s looking vulnerable.

“One day they were walking home for school… and came across a junkyard. Curiously they snuck inside the forbidden territory and began exploring. They discovered so many new things and even took some souvenirs.” Mr Zhong chuckles faintly. “The young boy suggested playing a game before they left. Hide and seek. They played that game back and forth in the junkyard,” Mr Zhong’s face slowly scrunches in confusion. “They played 4 games before it was Donghyuck’s turn again. Donghyuck…”

You look up when Mr Zhong stops speaking. You’re surprised to see him with one hand tightly over his mouth as his own eyes are glistening and look moist. You don’t speak, watching him stay quiet. He regains composure again and removes his hand from his face.

“The young boy hid in a freezer. It was broken of course, so he felt safe getting inside of it. In his hiding position from time to time he would open the top and peek his head out. He laughed when he could see Donghyuck getting confused… it’s through the little laughs and giggles that Donghyuck spotted him. He was busted… but then… Something happened.” Mr Zhong licks his dry lips as he stares into the void. “The young boy watched Donghyuck getting approached by some guy in uniform. The guy said something that made Donghyuck nervously turn and began heading in the direction of the exit. For some reason Donghyuck left. The young boy was too afraid to step out of the freezer just in case the man would yell and shout. He waited for a really long time. Because now there wasn’t just one man, but they were many men walking around the junkyard. The boy was getting scared. He just thought that if he sat inside quietly, that when those men would go away he’d quickly sneak out and run. Unfortunately for him, those men stayed for hours on end. They were construction site workers. So, they were working. He began losing hope but then- the freezer top lip opened. He thought that he was caught… thankfully it was just Donghyuck. Donghyuck looked nervous and scared but he assured the boy to quickly climb out. The boy tried climbing out… and he… he…” Mr Zhong stops and turns to the floor, he sniffs.

You don’t know what has the most of your attention now. Perhaps it’s the story, maybe the expression Mr Zhong uses, or it could be that… that little boy was Mr Zhong…

“I can’t remember well what happened from there, but I know for some reason, Donghyuck was knocked over and fell to the ground when a sudden… claw came from the sky… and… picked up the freezer. The young boy was tossed back inside freezer… Chugged around as if he was in a washing machine.” Mr Zhong bites his lip. “He tried getting up to get out. But he was struggling to lift the lid up… It… the freezer was being lifted up and then from such a high feet it dropped to the bottom… causing the freezer door to creak a little. But… the boy was already injured. He still tried to lift the lid up with one arm. He saw that he was on a moving platform. He needed to get out fast. It was already too late… the boy died a slow painful death… however his spirit did not die… it was called back.”

“Mr Zhong?” You call out sadly as you watch him shiver.

“Donghyuck ran home. He ran home and… shut himself in his room.” Mr Zhong’s eyes stay closed. “The young boy’s parents came over, they were anxious worried and crying… they asked if Donghyuck had seen him, and Donghyuck… he lied. He said, he hadn’t. The parents filed a missing case report. That whole week was a nightmare… Every day when Donghyuck would go to the school, he’d see the boy’s mother standing outside the gate with a poster of her missing son. She’d desperately ask the other kids if they’d seen him. But no one had. Donghyuck… felt guilty. From time to time he went to the junkyard to search for the young boy. Donghyuck was… traumatized. Guilt ate him from the inside… he refused to move on without finding the body… because by now he already knew that the young boy was dead.”

“Mr Zhong…” you cup your mouth.

“Donghyuck refused to move on. He was scared that he had killed someone else’s son. But something crazy happened. He prayed to find the boy.” Mr Zhong opens his eyes. “The boy was dead, but somehow, he was still inside of him. Donghyuck began hearing voices in his head. He’d see images of the little boy… they’d talk together in his room. Although physically the boy wasn’t there, Donghyuck saw this kid with his own naked eyes in the spiritual world. The little boy too… he didn’t know what was going on but he just wanted to go home to his parents… he wanted to leave Donghyuck’s mind, but Donghyuck insisted that he’d find a way out for the boy. It was comforting at first… but as days turned to weeks, and weeks turned to months, the little boy began getting sucked into a personality that wasn’t his. He wanted to leave, but Donghyuck didn’t want to let him go. Donghyuck promised the boy that he’d find a way out for him… so that he could live again. I think that’s why the little boy stayed… he thought he could live again- he ignored all the doors that opened up to try and help him to leave and instead he stayed in Donghyuck. Being inside of Donghyuck, had him feeling that he was still alive and that he could come back alive. If only they could find his body then they could make him come alive.”

There’s a moment of silence as your eyes water… could this little boy be… You’re completely speechless as you listen to Mr Zhong…

“Of course this brought attention to Donghyuck as his own parents saw how the death affected their son… they watched Donghyuck talk to himself about a way to escape… they saw their son obsessed with talking to ghosts and wanting them to come alive… so… they had him hypnotized.” Mr Zhong looks to his own hands. “Hypnotized to forget the little boy. A so called solution to make him stop seeing things. And it worked. They didn’t help him move on, or even help the little boy trapped to get out. No. They just erased the little kid from his head. And so, the next morning, when the boy woke up and tried to speak to Donghyuck. Donghyuck never heard a thing. It began getting scary, as the only way out was shut completely. The little boy slowly became lonely as his own best friend… forgot him. Do you know how many years went by? Do you know how lonely it got when his own friend grew a conscious and couldn’t even recognize him? Do you know how terrifying it got to wake up in the same place every day being forced to forget who he was? He hadn’t seen his family in so long? Everything the little boy loved, he couldn’t properly because he was now forced to become someone else. He missed touch, tasting? Seeing and living with his own eyes and life. Do you know what it means to give up your life for someone else? Do you know just the amount of endurance the boy had to go through, adjusting to the fact that he was now forced to live as someone else? That little boy has been alone for more than 22 years and it may seem fantastic to spend your life trapped inside of someone, but you’ll begin to feel the effects when the person you’re in doesn’t even know who you are.”

You shake your head. “Mr Zhong, I don’t get this. What does this have to do with me? I hate to be inconsiderate, but it’s not like they hypnotized him to forget about me.”

Mr Zhong nods his head. “True. My best friend was hypnotized to forget me. So of course that doesn’t affect you. It was pointless telling you that story, I should’ve just skipped straight to the point.” You had a feeling he was telling the story about himself… but hearing him actually confessing to the name has you sinking in sadness. Until he opens his mouth… “I stayed here because Donghyuck refused to confess what he’d done to me. My soul has become restless. Rest less spirits don’t go to their resting place. No, they stay here until the person who killed them, confesses to either moving on, or admitting what they had done.”

Your heart sinks… drops to the ground. What did he just say? “Restless spirit?”

“Why do you think you’re in here?

“I didn’t mean to be insensitive Mr Zhong… but this isn’t funny. What you’re saying is scary…”

“I asked you why you think you’re here?” He ignores you and continues. “Donghyuck may have not been the one who ran you over, but he… did do something. He refuses to let you go. He wants you to haunt him until he’s dead. Just wait and see how he’ll be so obsessed with spending so much time in his ‘head’ with you that in the outside world they deem him crazy. Watch as friends begin to see him as strange because he doesn’t want to break the bond he has with you, watch as your brothers get annoyed that he keeps using your name in vain, watch as his perfectly normal life spirals into only wanting to focus on you. Just watch and see how the only answer that will make sense to him is death. Suicide. Watch as you see him paying all his attention on you and neglecting that he really has a life.”

Hearing that, it doesn’t sound as bad… “That doesn’t sound as bad.”

Mr Zhong shakes his head. It’s like you’re okay with being trapped here. It’s like you’re okay with letting Donghyuck not have a life anymore as he focuses on you. You’re okay with letting him not move on from you, to try and find another kind of happiness. You’re okay with making him numb to reality and float by like a ghost. You’re selfishly okay with him not moving on. By allowing Donghyuck to self-destruct. You’re selfish.

Mr Zhong gets up and shakes his head. “The dark truth about death, is that you end up losing everything and everyone you love. Once you’re dead it’s over. No second chances. One thing that I’ve learnt while being here, is that you either help the person to move on, or you haunt them with your presence, adding a cloud over their head. Weighing them down as they live with unsaid and unspoken confessions. So as you embark on this journey, I’m begging you don’t be the downfall of Donghyuck.”

The truth is, Mr Zhong never forgave Donghyuck for what he did to him. He never forgave Donghyuck for ending his life. Even though it wasn’t Donghyuck who killed him, Donghyuck could’ve said something, confessed of where Mr Zhong last was. Could’ve said… sorry.

When Mr Zhong woke up inside of Donghyuck he had the option to leave peacefully, or try to use Donghyuck’s body to shout and confess to the world. But unfortunately for him, his greed to be noticed inside of Donghyuck costed him his eternity and made him unknown. The bitterness inside of Mr Zhong transferred to Donghyuck, and added the personality and the greed and need to poses everything and anything. Maybe it’s why Donghyuck is just so obsessed over you like that. He miscalculated and ended up getting stuck inside of Donghyuck. Mr Zhong was forgotten. And maybe you won’t be forgotten, but surely, your selfish tendencies would manifest in Donhyuck one way or another.

What no one tells you about death, is that if you don’t learn to let go, you’ll never let go. You’ll never achieve a sense of control over yourself again. And unfortunately, that’s Donghyuck’s new path…

“I’m sorry Donghyuck.” Mr Zhong suddenly says. Tonight, he decided that he’d come up to the surface… because he didn’t want to be with you in his room. So instead being here in Donghyuck’s room, as Donghyuck sits idly on his bed is better. “I’m sorry.” Mr Zhong confesses again. “I blamed you all these years when really it was me that needed to let go. I hardened my heart because I was angry. My anger cost me my freedom. I’m so sorry for blaming you. It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t kill me. You were just as scared. You were a little boy, what was I expecting from you… I’m sorry.” Mr Zhong is surprised when he blinks and a tear drops from his eye.

He’s even more shocked when he feels a gnawing stare. Turning to the side, he sees Donghyuck’s enlarged beaded eyes on him…

Maybe you’re close by and Donghyuck’s just zoning out again. No. Mr Zhong turns back and when seeing no one he looks back to Donghyuck… Is he looking at him?

“Ch- Chenle?” Donghyuck chokes a little in surprise. “Is that really you?”

Mr Zhong feels his whole heart cave in when hearing his name. He momentarily freezes as he pays attention to Donghyuck. Donghyuck without haste instantly wraps his arms around Chenle crying out. Mr Zhong is surprised when Donghyuck doesn’t fall over. He’s even more surprised when… feeling comes back over his being. He can… feel again? “Donghyuck?”

“Chenle.” The reuniting is somber as both guys cry into each other’s arms. Donghyuck because inside of him… he recognizes Chenle… the friend he once had who disappeared.

“I’m not as selfish as you think I am.”

Mr Zhong doesn’t let go of Donghyuck but he does hear your voice. He opens his eyes and sees you behind Donghyuck.

“I thought long and hard about what you said.” You watch Donghyuck shiver and shed and break down whilist hugging Chenle… “You’ve got such a nice name.”

“But… how did you do it?” Mr Zhong asks. “How did you do this?”

“How did I do what?” Donghyuck asks. Making you slightly chuckle. Donghyuck shakes his head. “All this time… how did I forget about you? Were you really lonely? You never went to heaven to see your parents? I’m sorry man. I’m sorry for leaving you alone.”

Mr Zhong can’t comprehend the feelings he’s feeling. It’s just so sudden. All this time he couldn’t feel anything, for more than years he couldn’t feel anything, but now he can feel. Breaking away from Donghyuck he notices that instead of wearing black clothes… he’s also wearing white… and also he’s back to his… younger self. Which only strikes Donghyuck again.

“You said I had to let him go, and a part of me didn’t want to do that. But then… with the help of Haechan, we digged deep and looked into his memories… and then I saw you. A small boy who died all too soon and quick.” You confess. “You’re right we only have one life. And I can’t be selfish to steal someone else’s life. The more I thought about it, the more I thought about Donghyuck… I cried. He has carried so much loss, so much pain in him. Looking into his memories, I saw him hiding away and not being himself because he felt like an outcast. He doubted himself so much that he found it better to find pleasure in letting someone carry his pain… in not being himself. That hurt me, because I had many opportunities to be myself… But he shielded himself. I would just want him to be free and not be controlled by me. To be himself. To be free of pain and carrying so many things inside of him. So now I’m ready,”

Donghyuck’s ears hear that and he turns around, surprised to also see you. “You’re ready to do what?”

“To let you go,” You say sadly as you smile gently to him. “How about you Chenle?”

“I’m ready too. I’m ready to forgive you, and letting you go.” He gulps feeling so many emotions all relating to joy and a bitter sweet sadness.

“You’re both going to leave me?” Donghyuck turns to you both… especially when a bright light presents itself right in the middle of his room. “No. Please don’t go.” He cries… and you can hear Haechan… just as much as Sun. “How do I live? How do I breathe? I’ll suffocate without you,”

“No you won’t. You’ll find peace, joy and the same way your drowned in love into me, you’ll be able to do that again with yourself and with someone else.” You hold onto his cheek. “I need you to live Hyuck. I need you to let me go and live. Be happy with yourself. Confess and be free. Me dying isn’t the end of the world, it’s the start of a new future. For both of us.”

“But what if I don’t want to be free? I just want you,” He holds onto both your hands, surprised at how warm they are feeling.

Come home… You hear… and this time, Mr Zhong can hear it too. It’s the angel calling you guys over to the other side.

“I want you too, but we both can’t have what we want.” You gulp. “Instead we can cherish what we had and move on. I’ll always be with you, Hyuck,” you try to say while maintaining your own tears.

“Please,” He cries. “Don’t leave me.”

“Come on buddy,” This time Mr Zhong speaks with a warm smile. You’re so happy to see him smile. For the longest of time, he has only had a terrible frown on his face, so to see a smile you feel comforted that you’re not going alone. “You know we won’t leave if you ask us too, but I’m asking you to let us leave… I don’t want to make you heavy anymore. I want you to be light.”

Donghyuck thinks… he looks between you both and he can hear his heart breaking. But he knows it’s important. In his head… the thoughts coming, are the thoughts of how they died. He remembers seeing so much blood… he recalls seeing the life fade away from their eyes. At least they won’t suffer anymore… a tear rolls down his face, just as you hug him on the side and Chenle hugs him on the other side. He gulps. “Okay. Okay. I’m ready to… to… let you go…”

He doesn’t open his eyes but he feels so much warmth all around him. Slowly all the feelling around him becomes cold and he sighs out when opening his eyes in his dark room… Inside of him, Haechan and Sun run to the Upper Core trying to see if Mr Zhong would be there… and of course he’s not there. As they both cry, creating a crying feast of everyone crying, Donghyuck can’t stop balling his eyes out at losing both you and Chenle. Again

Meanwhile, donw by the ‘neck of birth’ a being is formed. In the exact same replica of Donghyuck… the next one to take over the core in Mr Zhong's old place. He wakes up with a name and aim.

Name: Hyuck. Assigned to: Core

“Hyuck. Please live.” He hears an echo serenade of your voice. “You must live and let go.”

That night, eventually when Donghyuck is able to sleep he dreams of doves and a serene peace washing over him.

Fin.

#lee donghyuck #donghyuck x reader #nct dream dreamscape #nct dream x reader #nct donghyuck x reader #nct fluff #nct slow burn #nct dream imagines #nct donghyuck fluff #nct dream chenle fluff #nct cheating #nct donghyuck smut #nct new fic #nct donghyuck angst #haechan x reader #nct donghyuck

75 notes · View notes

technologyculturedneo · 3 months

Text

BOX. Jaemin

"Memories need to be shared."

Pairing. Na Jaemin x Reader

Synopsis. The community you live in is a perfect dystopia with citizens not given any freedom or choice. Without choice, the Neorists Elders of society believe they can prevent negative elements, such as war. You're assigned to the Dreamer Na Jaemin with the aim of being the next Dreamer. However when presented with freedom, choices and a world of wonder, you begin to fall into the unknown of a word known as 'love'.

Dreamscape() Masterlist

“What do you mean you want to remove ‘pleasure’ from this community?” Johnny furrows his brows, eyes piercing across the room meeting an unfazed ‘Dreamer’, Na Jaemin, the only man wearing black. Also known as the only person in the entire community with recollection of memories of what the whole world once was before the erasing of memories. “You can’t remove pleasure.”

The other board members, mainly the men who were ‘guilty’, are also in shock when hearing what the Dreamer is suggesting. “I mean what I said. You took things too far when you impregnated another Neorists. And that’s strictly forbidden.” Jaemin notes to the only female elder Neorist in the room surrounded by 10 men.

“I think this decision of yours is coming from a place of bitterness. Are you upset because you don’t have anyone to pleasure? Have you even pleasured anyone? What we should be discussing is how to bring pleasure back into relationships.”

“This is my point exactly. You’re so intoxicated with pleasure that you don’t see the problem.” Jaemin cocks up a brow in bafflement. Sometimes being the only one with memories of all emotions was a pain. “Too much pleasure leads to destruction, especially when there’s no love.”

“Oh please love is irrelevant, and what possible destruction can come out of pleasure?” Johnny quizzes with an imposing tone.

“For one, non-consenting rape, which is the act of forcing yourself on somebody who hasn’t agreed to partake in the activity.” Jaemin informs. “It’s literally what you’re doing. Not only that, you’re sliding past the fact that you were caught breaking other laws.”

“I’m guilty of no such matters. Our Neorist here agreed to our encounter. Is that right?” Turning his head to the female, she subtly nods her head with an expressionless face. Johnny crosses his legs with a smirk on his face. “And besides, how else are we going to get the community to produce children?” Johnny questions.

Jaemin rolls his eyes, a gesture that surely goes noticed by all the board members of Neorists, the highest forms of elders in their communities. Aside from Jaemin being the only Dreamer, and the only one who felt entitled to have a say in laws, they surely disliked when he’d pull faces of rudeness and disrespect. Even if he was right. “Cut the bullshit. You don’t care about children. All you care about is sexual pleasure.”

“What proof do you have?” Johnny questions.

“What proof?” Jaemin scoffs and glances at the only female Neorist elder in the room. “She’s literally carrying a child as we speak- a child you ‘helped’ created. She said you gave her a serum and she had a weird feeling after. You clearly did something to her. And she’s not even a birth mother.”

“Your point?” Another male elder asks. “I think President Suh is correct. You’re bitter because you don’t have someone to pleasure.”

Folding his arms and leaning on the table Jaemin tries to speak calmly without letting his anger show. Yet it’s already clear from the moment he opens his mouth that he’s seething. “When we first implemented ‘pleasure’ in community 1, the idea was that only selected ‘birth mothers’ and ‘father genetics’ would engage in that activity. It was a success and we taught it to the other communities. The only problem now, is that you President Suh and a few of you board members have stepped out of bound over the years and decided to participate. It doesn’t work like that. You’re throwing things off balance.”

“I have to agree with the Dreamer. Not only are you not taking the injections but you are breaking the laws we placed.” Jaehyun, the elder Neorist of justice and law sides with the Dreamer and looks to the President of all communities. “How do you expect the community to follow the rules when you don’t?”

Johnny gets up while buttoning his front button, an indication that he’s not going to listen to anything else from the meeting. “This is such a time waste. Instead of preparing for the ceremony we’ve wasted time talking about irrelevant matters. I’ll take my leave.”

Johnny is just about half way in leaving the board room when Jaemin grudgefully stands up. “You know what, fuck this. I’ve selected a new Dreamer.”

That captures Johnny’s attention as he freezes mid step gazing at Jaemin. “Don’t be absurd. We haven’t examined-”

“Of course ‘you’ haven’t examined because you were too busy getting your dick wet. But I already did.” Jaemin looks at Johnny dead in the eye. “She will be my successor, and she’ll be the one to put up with your shit when I’m gone, because seriously, I can’t have this anymore. I’m done.”

And with that, Jaemin walks out the room first.

The water scatters and dashes out from the shower head sprinkling hot waters onto his body when he gets home. Standing underneath the pouring heat, his hands against the wall- the wall being a see through glass, his eyes looking over the view in longing to finally be free like nature. The view of the downslope mountain filled with greens of shrubs, trees, blooming colored florets with nature at its best. The thought crosses his mind again. He’s been thinking of quitting being a Dreamer for almost an entire year. To end his life and time in this draining world.

There’s nothing worth it anymore. Clinching his jaw from the depressing thoughts he turns the handle far back erupting a strangled choke to leave his breath just as the freezing cold waters hit his body hard. He can’t end his life just yet, he needs to complete his last quest in this damn community before he can kick the bucket. For good. For him as a Dreamer, living in this community is lonely. He just hopes that the person he’s chosen to be his successor won’t feel like him.

Because everyone is taught to follow and obey the rules within the community, in order to eliminate discrimination, envy, jealousy, supremacy, hate and plainly anything different. Everyone that is born into the community is a blank slate and is taught how to walk, talk, work and live. Without communities in place there would be chaos and war would break out. The ‘Neorists’ better known as wise council of elders have maintained communities for centuries, keeping the community in peace, passing down guidelines and rules on how to keep tranquility amongst all.

You’re lucky to have grown up in a community that had no war and endless peace. They said that the war was terrible, that it destroyed everything. And after the war had ruined everything, mankind found a solution to carry on. Through the acts of Communities. There were 7 communities in total. When ‘Communities’ were created, everything started afresh. The start of the new civilization marked the end of the wars worldwide, society was reset, rebuilt, evoking true equality and sameness. It marked the beginning of a new era, a new people, a new life within communities. Everything that was made new, contributed to the good of the new communities. These rules being respected created harmony, balance and greatest of all, allowed life to continue on peacefully.

Years down the line, it all worked out. Peace was restored, everyone was the same and knew how to live in the community. Everyone was able to follow and obey the rules without a second thought. Everyone was able to fit in.

Except for you.

Tomorrow, you and the rest of the year 19’s would finally be 20’s and would be assigned your jobs. Your purpose in life. What you were made for. Your place in the community. After years of attending studying departments, you are going to be a part of the people that contribute to society. Your lecturer’s last words, were words that almost… frightened you. No. Precision of language. Wrong word, you think. Frightened means that deep, sickening feeling of something terrible about to happen. Your lecture’s words made you ‘anxious’ for what would happen tomorrow. It’s frightening because it seems like everyone already knows their jobs, but you don’t have a clue of what you’ll be. You are lost. Lost because while everyone in the community, thought the same and did everything the same, you… always felt like you did things… differently, you saw things that other people didn’t. In your eyes you’d see flickering of extra lights… Where everything is black and white, in the sky… you’d see… hue.

Your eyes snap to the road ahead of you as you instantly halt your bicycle when almost coming in contact with a man dressed in all black. Whereby the whole community only wore white, your eyes are completely shocked seeing the man wearing all black. The Neorist, Dreamer Na Jaemin. You quickly bow your head apologizing. “I apologize.”

“It’s dangerous to be riding and looking up at the sky. Be careful.” Nonchalant and unfazed, almost if the sounds of getting hit by a bicycle is nothing.

“I apologize.” You say again, but you’re thankful that he doesn’t write out an issue of warning for you and continues walking, ignoring you. You continuing to ride your bicycle, this time keeping in mind of the correct road and not minding him, because there are more pressing thoughts in your head.

You never said anything of what you saw. You didn’t want to be different. Who would?

The rules were simple to follow: Use precise language. No touching other people not of your dwelling. Wear your assigned clothing. Take your morning medication. Obey the curfew. Never lie. These rules made sense to keep everything ‘same’.

However, for you, these rules were easy to follow, but hard to understand. Precise language… assigned clothing… medication, curfew and of course… lying. You acted and did as everyone did, but in a world where every person thought the same, moved the same and even looked the same… you don’t know why, your thoughts… had thoughts and why they were different. You didn’t want to be different, otherwise you’d be ‘released’. Released is a term, or rather the highest form of punishment to anyone who failed to contribute to society. They were to be taken out of society, forever. For good. Maybe… Maybe that’s why you’re so frightened for what will happen tomorrow. What if you get relea-

‘Kring, kring.’ A bell rings behind you, snapping your thoughts back to the present indicating company. You smile upon seeing the two males in which you’re closely associated with, your two friends, whom you’ve been acquainted with your whole lives. Jeno and Haechan. With smiles on their faces brewing excitement in their eyes, it’s always easy to feel comfortable and at ease around them. “You left us,” Haechan, the boy who makes everyone laugh, playfully whines.

Jeno, the boy who makes everyone smile turns to look at you. “I apologize for the both of us that we’re late. I thought I could take Haechan around to say farewell to our lecturers.” Jeno fills you in, with his memorable eye smile that’s always refreshing to see.

“I accept your apology.” You smile back, turning your head to Haechan. “And why does Jeno have to apologize for you? Aren’t you going to apologize for yourself?”

“I apologize for making you ride alone. In fact, we could’ve all gone together to say goodbye to the teachers had you not left so suddenly.” Haechan tries to justify himself, but you hear a scoff coming from Jeno.

“I accept your apology.” You answer back none the less while shaking your head.

“Precision of language Haechan. We weren’t saying goodbye, more like, see you around.” Jeno voices out his thoughts, as the friend who consistently obeys every rule. He’s like a model student of what it means to embody the rules.

“But I don’t want to see them again,” Haechan nags like a little kid, causing you to roll your eyes by his nature. “I want to finally get to tomorrow so that I can go and work.” Being bold and riding high on his bicycle Haechan voices out. “Whoever’s listening please, please do not make me a teacher or lecturer or anything to do with the studying departments. Please.”

You laugh, this time along with Jeno. Of course, every street pole, every building, every tree, every structure in some way, has a camera big enough or even small enough to see and hear what everyone in the community does. You wonder, if you also had to get up on your bike and yell out what you want to be, maybe the Neorists who listened in, would place you there. They ruled your lives and every outcome from them is said to be the best.

You live in a world were differences aren’t allowed. There’s no popular, no fame, no winners and no losers. The Neorists of the pasts eliminated all of that so that they’d be no conflict. No fear. No pain. Envy. Hate. All those negative feelings weren’t here and it had been wiped from history. Every memory that everyone had now, was of this wonderful society that was created.

Riding your bicycles together with your friends, listening to Jeno and Haechan casually talk yet good-humoredly bicker allows your mind to be distracted from the thoughts of tomorrow. Haechan leans forward on his seat carefully standing up and balancing on his bicycle.

“I’m going to miss volunteering here.” Jeno says, once the nursing facility is close by. You look to the building and nod your head.

“Don’t worry my friend, I’m sure you’ll be coming back here.” Haechan smirks. “If there had to be another word for nurse, it’d be Jeno. You were born for this.”

“What about you Y/n?” You turn your head to Jeno, displaying an earnest smile once drawing to the center side of the building. “Out of all the positions that the elders would choose for me, where do you think they’d place me?”

Looking up to the bold font title in the middle of the building, you nudge your head to it. “Nurturing center. You’re very caring, selfless, dedicated to helping others and always so good with people. If anything you should be in charge of the nurturing department.” You compliment boldly. He looks at you, returning a sincere beam, as if liking your answer more than Haechan’s statement.

Every day since you went to the studying department school, the lecturers ‘mandatorily’ suggested that doing volunteering work in different sectors would enhance the Neorists to notably put you in a work career that would best suit you. You had no one place you liked going, so you always followed Haechan and Jeno. Nurturer, Laborer, Engineer, Law and justice, Pilot, Speaker etc. By chance you volunteered everywhere and exceled in everything, you just didn’t know what you exceled at the best. That feeling… that frightening feeling comes back at the thought of your purpose. You wonder, have you done enough volunteering work so that the Neorists may know where to put you, or have you done too little, that they haven’t a clue of what your position would be? If that’s the case, it means you are going to be released. You’d be a failure.

And you don’t want that. Which is why, as you carry a baby from the bed and move over to the weighing table following Jeno’s lead, you hope that just as Jeno has shown a kin interest on nurturing, that perhaps you’ve also shown an interest in something. Unfortunately, Jeno’s baby weighs heavier and he has a playful look on his face, lifting up the baby with a coy smile. “That’s my little baby. A baby who’s strong and ready to be a 1 year old.” Jeno lightheartedly mocks you.

“Oh, it’s like that now.” You chortle. Seeing a figure in uniform approach you both, you smile. Your father. Lee Taeyong.

“Which one was heavier?” He asks.

“This baby was.” Jeno indulges in baby language having a moment with the baby. However, in the spacious room full of male and female nurses along with volunteering students, all attention is turned to a certain cubic stand- hearing a rueful cry. It’s your first time hearing a baby cry. Just as a nurse takes the quiet baby from you and places the baby in a box sealing it tight saying that it will be released and didn’t qualify, you follow your father as he moves to the cube were the crying baby is in.

Reading its tech monitor screen, you see the words: HE/UNQUALIFIED.

“He looks so unhappy.” You lean close having a look at the wailing baby’s voice.

“Unfortunately he doesn’t qualify for his first ceremony.” Your father says. “He’s just not strong enough. It’s why he’s crying. He can’t be assigned to a family yet.”

Trying to get the babies attention, by tapping on the glass and smiling gently, you peek back when seeing Jeno standing next to you equally examining the unhappy child. “Can we open it?” Jeno asks, which your father nods to, silently watching the baby with a concerned face.

Last night, the birth mothers did an incredible job of birthing about 40-70 children in community 7 alone. 64 of those children were perfect. 3 came out stiff and would be released. 2 were identical, the one that you and Jeno were weighing (the least heaviest would be released too). And finally this 1 was the only one crying but wouldn’t be released just yet.

Jeno opens the little slot allowing you to put your hand in. “Hey there little guy. Why are you crying? Are you not happy because you won’t be in the first ceremony?”

Jeno’s gentle smile spreads over his face as he observes you making conversation with the baby. “Let me,” He offers to help especially when the baby doesn’t stop crying. You move a little, watching Jeno place his hand inside the cube placing it over the baby’s head. “There, there,” He simply says, and instantaneously, the baby shifts its head in Jeno’s direction.

“Wow,” You marvel. “You just have that gift. It’s not fair,” You joke, but slowly the baby hesitates and fidgets.

“Be strong Jisung.” Your father’s voice gets your attention and you turn to him.

“You looked at his name? Isn’t that against the rules?”

He turns to you nervously. “Y-yes it is. I thought having a name might help him grow.” Before his gaze focuses on the baby. “It’s why I whispered it.”

You’ve always admired your father. A nurse. Never buckles under pressure, always knows what to say as the head of the house and is simply a really good father to you, mother and your little 10 year old brother, Chenle. You spend the rest of the day in the nursing center, even when Haechan and Jeno leave. And 30 minutes before the curfew call is made, you and your father both take your bikes and stroll to the dwelling where you stay. Getting there just before the curfew call, you take your afternoon injection as soon as you enter the door. Which is just a little pinch on the wrist of your right hand by placing your hand over the little robotic poll.

Getting ready for dinner, you, your brother Chenle, your Mother Seulgi and Father Taeyong all sit by the large metallic squared box table and exactly at 6.30 on the dot, the table opens up revealing covered trays of supper.

Removing the lid of the tray, you begin eating just as everyone does in silence. A while later, your father begins the conversation by asking everyone about their feelings for the day. Your mother answers; ‘disappointment’ because of a fellow educator who didn’t teach according to the textbook. The outcome of that situation was that the teacher was released to elsewhere. Your father ends up asking your little brother about his feelings. His answer; ‘excited’ because he’ll be a 10 tomorrow. His enthusiasm brings smiles to your faces. And then finally; your father calls your name.

“Your turn for feelings.” He eats on his vegetables and so do you. Taking a little bit of time to respond as you eat. The rules for food being don’t eat too fast and don’t talk when eating. Once you swallow you breathe out.

“Well, I guess… I’m sort of…” You thought you had an answer, but after hearing Chenle’s answer, you feel nervous again. “Frightened.”

“Precision of language.” Your mother corrects, giving you a worried look, sternly.

“Then I feel terrified?” You try to ask, as she’s trying to correct your feelings, which you don’t understand. You were the one feeling it.

“Precision of language.” She says again. “Anxious, is the word. Being frightened and terrified is awful and only used in dire situations.”

“Yes. Thank you for your correction.” You nervously smile. She’s right. You’re anxious. You look at your food.

“Why?” Your father asks. ��Are you nervous for the ceremony tomorrow?”

You nod your head. “Mother, father. When you were about to graduate from being a 19 to 20, did you feel like there was no position meant for you?”

Your father shakes his head. “The Neorists been watching you since you were a child, they know what position is meant for you.”

Your mother nods her head. “They are never wrong. Tomorrow you’ll see that you have a place in our community.” She smiles. “Cheer up my daughter. There’s no need to be anxious.”

You nod your head. The feeling won’t go away. Even as you’re done eating and place the tray back on the center of the table and the table sinks low with the empty trays, leaving its original flat surface, you’re still anxious. You walk into your room after saying goodnight to everyone and rest on your bed. Instead of injecting yourself to sleep with the little robotic poll in your room, you… slightly disobey the rule of ‘8 p.m. sleep time’ and instead lay awake thinking of all the things that will happen tomorrow. You will be a 20. With a new job. A job you don’t even know.

Finally sighing, you roll on the side of your bed and place your wrist over the robotic poll allowing it to inject you. After some seconds, sleep consumes your entire mind.

The auditorium is vastly large with all the seating sections being filled as the whole of Community 7 make their way inside. Each seat is filled accordingly and correctly. Everyone being in a category. You’re seated on the third section along with all the other 19’s as you wait. Other sections have newly made parents, older parents, those who already have jobs and finally old age individuals. The ceremony is the only time when everyone from community 7 joins together in celebration of the new age. “Welcome citizens, to the annual ceremony of advancement.” A robotic female announcement addresses. Would you be a speaker like this voice? Could that be your future path?

Sitting next to Haechan, you can’t stop giggling at the jokes he makes, because they calm your racing heart down and stop you from guessing jobs for yourself. Jeno seated in front of you turns back once in a while with a chortle, telling Haechan to be quiet. Everyone is so excited that you can’t help but force the excitement of you just to blend in. But really, inside you’re petrified.

Especially since the Neorists of all communities are all here in one room. All 10 Neorists Elders are seated on the stage in a straight row facing the crowd. They look so normal, polished with smiles and bright with their grey garment, all except one. He’s seated on the end of the stage, almost a gap away from the other elders. He’s got a bored, dull look… no… Cold and almost uninterested look on his face. The same way he looked when you nearly bumped into him. He’s the only one wearing black. And it’s not even a black suit. The jacket is leather, the shirt inside.. has print design on it and you try to make out what is written on the shirt, but it’s blocked by his folded arms.

He’s so…

Your breath hitches in your throat when looking back at his face, only to have his deep eyes staring back at you. The corner of his lip tugs upwards in a smirk and in an instant your posture straightens and you snap your head away like a robot rebooting.

“Sheesh.” Haechan mutters shaking his head. “I swear that Elder’s presence is so menacing that it’s scary. Can you believe he’s the only Dreamer?”

Dreamer Na Jaemin. The only Elder who’s completely alone in what he does… whatever he does. “I nearly bumped into him with my bicycle yesterday.”

“Really?” Haechan’s eyes slightly widen.

“Please stand by for a transition.” You’re thankful for the robotic voice that addresses the crowd, allowing you to not think of that Dreamer and causing your conversation with Haechan to stop. On the stage, a beam of light is reflected and hologram of a man appears. The president of all communities appears in an elegant white suit. The robotic voice fades, as a manly voice of a calm man speaks. “Good morning community 7.”

“Good morning President Suh Johnny.” The community at large responds with gladness to see the familiar jolly face of the leader of all communities. Once again he’s appearing virtually. It’s a shame that he couldn’t come in person, you think to yourself.

“I apologize for my remote attendance.” He apologizes and you can tell the community immediately feels better.

“We accept your apology.” Everyone responds in sync… you mimic your mouth to follow but really you don’t accept it. President Suh although widely respected (feared- is what you’d say but then your mother would say ‘precision of language’) is a president you’ve always wondered why he’s in power. He doesn’t do much for the communities. It’s the Neorist Elders who work the hardest in maintaining the communities.

“I can’t be at every ceremony simultaneously in person, which is why I picked this hour as my favorite hour to spend with you. But here’s a secret, you are my favorite community.” He grins. For some reason, your eyes are drawn to the disinterested Dreamer Neorist Elder on stage again. He rolls his eyes and even… sinks low on his chair. What audacity does he have to show his disinterest, especially to the President? Perhaps he dislikes the President too. “But since we don’t lie, I must admit I say that to all the other communities.”

Your head snaps away from him again to the stage when hearing subtle laughs come from the crowd, from Haechan next to you as well as everyone else… You join in on the laugh thinly… your eyes wandering back to the Dreamer, only to look away immediately again. You only tried to see if he was laughing, or at least smiling too. But instead, you caught his eye on you… again. You try not to frown, but you can’t help as your eyebrows furrow a bit. Why is he looking at you?

“Beginnings. From disorder to chaos, great suffering and pain. From confusion, envy and hatred, came out a perfect solution. Communities, which harbored serene beautiful places, where disorder became harmony.” Everyone pats their thighs in sign of applauding. “It begins, the Ceremony.”

You join everyone in patting your thigh feeling your thigh nervously shake. You try to stop it, but as each ceremony occurs you get anxious. The large background screen begins to play gentle visual videos of each ceremony. It starts off with the ceremony to ‘elsewhere’ honoring the lives of the brave elderly old age men and women who have dedicated the lives and contributed nobly to the community. All the old age elders, about 65 of them, who were in another section that you couldn’t see all step on stage generously shaking each hand of the Wise Neorists council, before stepping off stage and waving their hands as they disappear behind some curtains. You’re not even surprised that the black clothed elder didn’t even shake hands or pay his respects to the elders. He’s so impolite and it’s making you feel unhappy.

Next is the ceremony of the 1’s. “Celebrating the new children. Proudly engineered by the genetics of father givers, produced by our proud birth mothers. These infants will now join their assigned family units. Welcome to the community little ones.”

“Welcome to the community.” The crowd says.

Your eyes enlarge joyfully when seeing all 65 of the new born babies being brought up on stage by nurses. The newly coupled parents are called one by one (as President Suh, calls out their names) to go on stage and claim they’re new addition to the family. Each of the children have names, but you’re surprised that you don’t hear ‘Jisung’s’ name. Either way, you clap on your thigh for both for the ceremony of the 1’s as well as the new parents who now have their first child, another batch of parents are called to claim their second addition to the family. All families have been taught to have 2 kids who are 10 years apart. The next ceremony is for the new 10’s.

Your head moves to the side when you see all the newly 10 year olds standing up and one by one go down the stairs and all unanimously stand in a line to be called on stage. You smile when you see Chenle. He’s looks bright and happy in his little white shirt and shorts. Everyone claps their thighs as all 60 children are called one by one on stage to receive their half way mark independence gift, a bicycle. They are now of age to possess their first responsible gift. You clap your thighs proudly when Chenle is called - Haechan beside you nudges you while holding back his own snickers telling you to keep it down. Chenle gets off the stage with his bike. Just as the little other 10 year olds receive their bikes, you see an usher in white standing by each respective row of your age group. Once the 10’s are done, the ushers signal out their hands stating that it’s your sections turn. You deeply inhale when standing up and following right behind Haechan.

“Celebrating the graduates, the 20’s, who today will be assigned their position in our community.” The president says as you all get on the stage. You stand in rows of 6, as they’re 60 of you. 10 in each column and 6 in each row.

“Good luck,” Jeno, who’s standing right in front of you turns, around with an encouraging smile. It reassures and even calms you down a little. So you try to enjoy the moment. Finally, the time has come to hear where you will fit in. Even though you wished to have a clear mindset on what job you’d do, you feel glad that the burden of choosing a job is not in your hands and in the hands of the Neorists. Father says they’re never wrong. So you smile back breathing in deeply and looking up above to the screen that showed gentle images of each 20 year old doing something. You see Haechan, and turn to him smiling just as he points at himself. He’s seen riding high on his bicycle and teaching other kids on how to ride their own bicycles. Others are shown as well, and you wait to maybe see yourself in the montage of images and soundless videos. But you don’t. You see Jeno, and other of your class mates, but you don’t see yourself. You try not to worry, as they didn’t put everyone in.

“All of your training has been to help you fit in.” Johnny continues. “To curb any impulse that may set you apart from others. But today we honor your differences, for today they have determined your future. Dear community, here are the new leaders and the teachers, and the workers, and nurses, birth mothers of tomorrow. And I think that, we’re in very good hands.” Johnny smiles, and you smile back feeling a great jubilation. “Number 1, Karina. Soft spoken with a delicate body, gentle with children and a pleasant to be around. Birth mother. Thank you for your childhood.”

Karina walks forward towards the one female Neorists elder who’s in charge of all the Nurturing Centers in all the Communities, gets up with a bright smile and hands her a little device as well as shakes her hand. You clap on your thighs and smile. That’s a good position for her. Names are being called, roles and jobs are being given, as rows go down you anxiously await your turn.

“Number 35, Jeno. From the beginning it was clear that Jeno flourished when working with new patients both old and young. Gentle with his touch with broad caring arms, Nurturer Nurse.” You smile when seeing up on the screen, Jeno carrying a little baby and smiling down at the child. You nod your head just as Haechan nudges you in agreement. Jeno goes forward to the Neorist female elder and she hands him a device. He gets off stage and goes back to his seat. Very quickly, the row in front of you disappears and finally they’re on your row. You prepare yourself shivering lightly.

“Number 43, Chittaphon. Talkative, engaging and surely a good story teller. Teacher of the middles.” You clap your thighs smiling.

“Number 44, Giselle.” The girl next to you, Giselle grins brightly as she steps forward to an elder man who gives her a device. Your heart is beating so loud that you barely even hear her assigned role. The moment you’ve been waiting for. You try to calm your pacing heart, but it’s beating all the way up to your ears and almost blocks your ear drums.

“Number 46,” You take two steps forward with a modest smile- “Haechan.” Yet you freeze when hearing the name… And number.

Haechan in astonishment reacts after a quick second and steps forward. His eyes are enlarged but his smile nervously returns when seeing a Neorist elder man stand up. “Unruly, careless, yet brings laughter wherever he goes. Sometimes those in need of responsibility learn best when they’re the practitioners of it. Drone Pilot.” A relieved sigh leaves Haechan’s mouth as he does a fist pump in the air and grins. This is something he’s wanted- being in the air as the all seeing eye. “Thank you for your childhood.”

Haechan takes his device from the elder man with a badge that said pilot. Haechan turns around about to head off stage in happiness, when all of a sudden sees your frozen posture and he remembers how they skipped your number. Hopefully it was a mistake.

“Number 47, Hendery.” Or not. “Ground keeper.” Haechan gets back to his seat with fear that they’ve skipped your number. Not just him, Jeno is equally as uneasy, concerned and worried for you. Not just in his mind but everyone is all thinking the same thing, you were going to be released. It’s what they did for those who weren’t qualified for a position and didn’t ‘fit in’ anywhere.

It’s hard paying attention to the other roles and jobs, as your parents see you standing on stage as your row finishes. In their minds, disappointment is what should’ve been clouding their heads. They raised a child who was unfortunate and couldn’t fit in the community. But no. That’s not what they think. Your mother thinks of you as brave, wondrous, fearless and an astounding human being. She had hoped you would even become… if she dares even say a Neorist elder… as rare as it is, she saw the potential in you. Despite your incorrect use of words, she always noticed how you naturally seemed curious. Your father thinks of you as someone who is daringly extraordinary. You embodied this wisdom and are a quick learner- for crying out loud you volunteered everywhere and almost everyone knew you because of how well rounded you were. You are an admirable child and there’s no way you’ll be released.

Not only your parents, but anyone who knows you, knows that you were… ‘different’ in a way. But then again, who would want to be different? There was no place for difference, except being released.

Chenle, despite his young age is not blind to the fact that you’re still on stage. Sitting in between his parents he looks up to his mother. “Mother, did they skip her?”

Always knowing what to say, this time she merely watches you as her heart slowly begins to race. She looks to Taeyong and he too has a great pale look on his face. Yesterday night, you said you were frightened. Terrified. And at this moment as all the names of the other year 20s are being called, you parents are feeling frightened and terrified themselves. Would you really be released? No. No way. You were such a good child. You were not a failure in anything. So why didn’t they call your name?

You stand there in absolute shock. Your eyes not daring to move away as you stare with daggers at the hologram. You repeat over and over in your head that they made a mistake and they’ll rectify it on the next call. They never do. You’re not anxious. You’re not terrified. You’re not frightened. But now, you’re horrified. You can feel your ears getting hot, your body is trembling, tears are coating your eyes. This can’t be real… this can’t be true.

Meanwhile, while the whole ceremony was a bore for the sole Dreamer Jaemin, the only man wearing black clothes, he particularly found this part interesting. Your reaction. He’s not slouching anymore on his seat. Instead, he’s leaning forward with a gaze so intense yet fascinatingly on you. He can only imagine what you’re feeling. You look so feeble… no, feeble is too much of drag… you look scared, like you’re about to pee in your pants.

“Number 60,” The president says the last name and you exhale lowly about to collapse from the tension. “Thank you for your childhood.” The last person walks up and receives a device walking off the stage. You’re too embarrassed to look back, you can’t even look back because you feel stiff to the bone. Your head feels heavy. The rooms temperature is declining and you swear that any time now, you’ll pass out. You’re the only one left on stage and just when you think things can’t get any worse your eyes pinch- “This marks the end of the ceremony. Thank you for your time.” Usually during this time, the screen would switch off, the monotonous robotic voice would thank everyone for coming and wish them all a safe return, or the auditorium would be filled with actual claps of two hands for the successful ceremony. Instead the only thing that switches off is the hologram.

Silence wafts the crowd.

Silence so loud that you’re sure that everyone can hear you struggling to hold in your breath. You’re breathing grows erratic.

You jolt lightly when seeing the hologram appear next to you. President Johnny is back on the screen. “You feel like I have made a mistake,” He states in a gracious tone. “I apologize to my community.”

The crowd is quick in saying, “We accept your apology.” But you don’t say it back.

“Number 45.” He turns around. Facing you. Your teary worried eyes stare at him. “I apologize for making you worry.”

You’re afraid to speak, but you gulp down quick and pass your arms past your eyes to remove the tears rapidly as you mutter out by force. “I accept your apology.”

Just as you wipe your eyes, the crowd grows quieter and tense from the unexpected Neorist who stands up and slowly draws closer behind you. The word Jeno would use is; dark. The word Haechan would use is; scary. The word your mother uses is; chilling. Your father is too speechless in thought to even think of the shady man standing behind you. The word the community would use is probably a forbidden word, a precision of language; ominous. As the contrast between you and the person standing behind you, is a combination of something… wrong. You’ve never volunteered in that field, so how is this possible… But for Jaemin, standing behind you, looking at your little form, he tries to see this as his last will to accomplish before he exempted to be taken to his death bed or better known as ‘elsewhere’.

Your name falls out of the President’s mouth again and you look up to his hologram, feeling that he can see you. “You have not been assigned a position, or role. You have been selected. As part of the boarding council of Neorists Elders, we were not hasty this time in choosing. We couldn’t afford another failure.” Hearing him say that, has you looking towards all the elders. Although your eyes miss the presence of one. It’s when you twist your head to perhaps find him, do you feel a sudden warmth against your back. You inhale and exhale quietly turning back to President Johnny. “You possess a great knowledge and understanding of all attributes in all communities. Intelligence. Integrity. Courage. And something that I can name, but I cannot describe, the capacity to dream beyond. You have always stood out.”

“Why does he insist on dragging things? You’re different, is what he means.” The whisper behind you, has you turning around fully to acknowledge the voice behind you. Looking into his empty eyes. He tilts his head to the side, lifting up something. You can’t even look down at what he’s holding, as your eyes are clear on his hair… you saw it yesterday in the sky… this hue… It’s now on his hair, but a darker shade. Your eyes focus back on his eyes and then his lips. “You can see it. It’s known as blue.” He whispers.

“But I must warn you,” The presidents voice gets drawn back into your ears. “Your training involves loneliness and isolation. Pain far beyond anything we know. Training that your school has not taught you. You may be female, but in you there’s great power. Are you strong enough for this? Do we think Y/n is brave enough?” The crowd taps their thighs eagerly in agreement. Chenle covers his mouth. “You have been selected as the next Dreamer. Thank you for your childhood.”

You take the device from the Dreamer’s hand and not even a second later, he’s walking back to his seat, satisfied. Meanwhile President Johnny wipes off the fake smile of his face as the hologram fades out. In his office he unfastens his tie breathing deeply. He was put into President-ship some years ago. And the ‘freedom’ he got to do anything he wanted was what allowed him to enjoy his post. If Jaemin left the Neorist, then it would mean Johnny would be exposed. And that’s not what he wants.

Haechan, Jeno and a few others congratulated you, while you felt others give you sympathetic eyes but told you to be strong for the community. Not very long, you left the auditorium with your family. Chenle rod on his new bike and asked mother a question: “The President said Y/n is now powerful. Does that mean she’s more powerful than you?” Mother hushed him and told him to not multitask, that he should focus on riding. No one knew what to say. You were the next Dreamer… You went up to your room. Dinner time came and you ate, shared feelings. You said you felt relieved, but in you there was nothing feeling relieved. You were the next Dreamer… what does that even mean? What does a dreamer do?

You felt this heavy pressure being weighed on you. Pain… Loneliness… you don’t even know how those things felt. After an appetizing dinner, which you couldn’t really enjoy because of the thoughts bursting all over your head. You disliked that they called you ‘different’ and outed you so that everyone could see you. Father says you’ve been greatly honored, but you feel petrified. No one said it to your face, but you could guess what they were all thinking. They were all scared for you. Being the next dreamer was scary.

Once the time reaches 7, you eagerly pull out the device that was instructed to only be opened around 7 p.m. The device shines brightly in your room with a hologram. Words begin to display themselves on the screen and you read over them. In your knowledge, you’ve always known there to be 10 Neorist Elders. And all these elders seemed to have large teams… however the Dreamer was the sole inheritor of the title. He was the only one known as the Dreamer. Thinking about him, you get goosebumps wondering if you’d be lonely like him. Despite it all, a part of you feels… as if they made the right choice.

Tomorrow is Monday. A new day. A new month. And a new year. You’d finally be able to work in your selected job.

Sleep doesn’t come easily, as your new rules from the device plays in your mind. Five new rules to follow and remember. One. Report directly to the Dreamer, Na Jaemin for your training. After training return immediately to your dwelling. Two. As of this moment on you are exempted from all rules governing rudeness. You may ask any questions. Three. Aside from your night sleeping medication, you’re not allowed to take any other form of medication. Especially for the pain. Four. You may not discuss your training with anyone. Ever.

Waking up in the morning, you don’t know how you fell asleep but you’re stunned that you slept on your own without your sleep injection. There’s a knock on your door, and you get up from bed to answer. Your father warmly greets you before handing you a package that is specially delivered for you. On the rectangular oddly black box there’s a title that says; DREAMER. You carefully pull back the box revealing the contents inside. There’s two sets of pants, one in denim quality and the other in a tight stretchy quality. There’s 3 dresses, all of the same length an inch above the knee, but different quality and forms. They’re all tight. And then they’re 2 pairs of skirts. One long in fine silk, and the other is below the knee. And lastly there’s 2 shirts. One long sleeve buttoned up shirt and one short sleeve buttoned up. And two pairs of shoes. 1 flat and 1 sportswear.

The only thing in common with all the new clothes is that they’re all in the color black.

A striking black that feels overwhelming. You quickly take your bath and eagerly get excited for what to wear. Despite the color, you’re enticed by the relaxing sweet smell. You decide to wear the black skinny denim pants and a long sleeve buttoned up. You get ready, eating breakfast with your family. There’s light chatter, but no one comments on your clothes feeling it… overpoweringly black. The moment the clock strikes 7 a.m. you leave like all the adults. Your parents wishes you well; father takes his bike to work, mother opts to walk to work while going with Chenle who eagerly takes his bicycle to school. And you, you smile when Jeno who’s riding his bicycle stops by your place.

“Cool.” His eyes marvel at your clothes. “First day of work.”

He’s also got on the regular nurse uniform. Full white long sleeved polo neck and some white pants with white shoes. He’s got a name tag over his left bicep jersey. “First day of work.” You reply with a big smile, getting on your bicycle and following along the same path that you normally took. Somewhere along some road you’d separate, but for now you’re just trying to relax even as you feel all eyes on you and your new outfit. It’s only now that you realize that everyone wears white so proudly like it’s their whole identity.

“They look so important.” He comments about your clothes. “In a good way of course,”

“I feel like I stick out too much.”

“Well yeah, there’s only one Dreamer.” He comments. “Two, if you I count you as well.” He smiles. He seems most happy for your work. “I can’t wait for you to tell me all about it. Have a good day.” He says before you both separate.

You get slightly gloomy when thinking of the fourth rule and how you’re never supposed to share anything about your training… oh yes, and finally the last rule. Five. You were now allowed to lie… but honestly, all your life you’ve already known how to lie. Subtle of course, but this rule makes you wonder if you’re lying would be taken to another level.

You don’t know how you feel about that yet, but so far, anticipation graces your presence as you ride your bike along the left side with other people heading to work either by foot or bike. It’s a long ride, as you recall the little map shown on your device. But it’s not like you really needed the map, the Dreamer’s layer was at the edge of the community, or like some liked to call it the end of the world. You’ve heard stories about people getting lost to the edge and never to be seen again. You never thought of them to be real, but riding closer and getting away from humanity and following the sole trial leading you across various trees before slipping into dry lands, you wonder how the edge looks.

You’re in absolute awe when seeing clouds formed as an outline all around the edge. Each community is separated almost by thousands of miles by these clouds blocking any vision to the other side. Each community is built up on a large structure preventing the people from ever seeing below. Despite the community being in the center, the edge would still be spoken about from everybody. And now you get to work closely to it…

There’s a little bricked grey residence. It has one large door, but so many large vines that look sharp spreading all around the exterior of the house. There’s no place to lock your bicycle, so you just put it down on the tips of the grass, and keenly walk the path to the grand door. You knock on the door twice - stepping back quickly when hearing a monotonous robotic voice. “Welcome. Please gaze at the sensor.” You turn to the device on the wall and lean close to ‘gaze’ at it. The door unlocks itself with a loud clicking sound. “Welcome Dreamer Y/n.”

After composing yourself and taking in a deep breath, you step through the door, watching it close by itself. There's nothing but a greyly lit corridor. You follow the steep corridor, only knowing that it's probably leading you. The passage gets narrow and dimmer, and so do your nerves peek high. You're pretty sure you're alone but for some reason you keep hearing… something. You can't make out what it is, it sounds like whispers running down. You turn another corner which is even more steep and downhill. But finally after much touring you come to a stop in front of a door. It's completely black and has the word DREAMER engraved in the middle. There's no handle for you to pull or twist, so you push the door instead- and like a rushing wind exploding in your ears you hear so much noise. Your eyes enlarge by the sight of the long structured tall room with a wide window view of rushing waters streaming down. "Oh my."

You step in holding onto a nearby rail as your eyes take in the room that looks so much like a garden but inside of a … fortress. You're standing close to the door on a spiraling staircase with a large and thick tree right in the middle. It’s branches spread up so high that they spread over the ceiling. The staircase leading down has an open view of the whole foyer. All the walls are filled with books and they go even higher. When your eyes reach the ceiling, there's a chandelier emitting out so many lights. Looking down, you're in awe of the particular setting. A one seat couch rests near the view of the floor to ceiling closed window, there's a circular glass table with curved designs holding it up. On the opposite side another long lengthen couch catches your attention as it flourishes with several pillows and blankets lacing its wide embrace- and it only has one elbow rest, but the other side is empty. Aside from that the one thing that really astonishes you is all the pot planets and the lively nature in the room.

You walk down the spiraling staircase not only looking at the tree but getting a look at the books. Titles such as Animals of the world, Philosophy of color- all peak your interest as you've never heard or even seen any of these books anywhere in the community. Finally making it down the stairs, your head moves towards another foreign large rectangular boxed object. A lift. The doors slide open and you’re immediately alert when someone walks out of it. It's the Dreamer. Aside from his clothing, his face alone has such a bold difference compared to anyone you know in the community. He's dressed in all black again, with a puffed jacket and a short hairstyle that embodied both rebellion and attitude and he emits such a bad character. He's scowling and muttering under his breath, also noticing your presence. "Great." His unoptimistic and bored underline tone of sarcasm speaks volumes to you. He's not happy. "You're here. Can't even enjoy these last days."

"I apologize for disturbing you. I'm Y/n the dreamer in train-"

"Shit." Your ears are tender to the words he says, and you even frown upon hearing a cursed word. "You think I don't know who you are?”

“Oh. I apologize. Good morning-”

“Miss me with that greeting." His footsteps are rapid as he makes his way to his personal space… another open section that you couldn't see from upwards. "Follow me." He drags out. And you follow with a distance behind. The open area is not long and stretched out with books, it's caved in white darkness (if that makes sense) but still has the scenery of nature. Unlike the previous room it has no windows but a large circular table. He turns around with such a crude face; rough but open. His lips prompt in a tight line. He takes a seat and you can't help but take a seat on the only other chair.

He lets out a sigh and rolls his head around his neck muttering things you can't hear, before finally addressing you. "So, why do you think you were selected?" His low voice cuts through the silence with a hint of boredom.

"I… uhm. Selected? Well, because…" You try to sort out your thoughts realizing that they are all jumbled because of his bored and… upset face. "The President chos-"

"No. I don’t want to hear anything about the Elders or freaking President, those people don’t even think for themselves. They never have. I want to know, why you think you were selected by me?"

"Oh." You feel hot in embarrassment when he cuts you off. "I apologize-"

You can't even finish your apology when he rolls his eyes and grunts out in annoyance muttering more words underneath his breath. He exhales audibly. "It doesn't matter. Just answer.”

You stare at him for a moment, thinking about how to respond.

“Why are you here?" He goes on finding your slowness irritating.

But you decide to stay quiet because you don't want to upset him even more. He seems like a really cold person… there's no word other than jerk to describe his cold demeanor. However, you'd rather he not have any bad feelings for you, then you having bad feelings for him. So you stay silent.

"Are you deaf? I asked you a question." But he's not making it easy.

“I’m here to be a dreamer.” Your hot lips answer feeling so stupid.

"That’s not an answer to the question I asked.” Staring at you like you're below him in every aspect. He sighs. “I’m here to be a dreamer. And she doesn’t even know why she’s picked.” He mimics and scowls muttering under his breath. “Did you review your rules?" You nod your head. "Can you state them out for me."

In the moment your mind tries to organize itself to answer, but he lets out another sinking sigh.

"Damn you're so slow it's annoying." His shoulders sag as he rubs on his temple. "With me you'll have to be more fast, so come on speak already." His voice slightly raises.

"Uhm, rule number 1…”

“I can’t hear you.” He deadpans.

“I apologize-”

“Stop apologizing. It’s fucking annoying just say the damn rules already.”

Your hands tremble unconsciously. “U-uhm, rule number 1 don't lie- I mean you can lie-"

His face scrunches as he waves his hand in the air dismissing you. "You couldn't even be bothered to learn the damn rules. Do you think being a dreamer means slacking off? Do you think being dreamer is easy work? Is that why you didn’t put in any effort? You wore the clothes but don’t have single sense in your head about what this is? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"I apologize-"

"And stop fucking apologizing it's irritating-" He gets irritable quick and you're feeling so tense and hot and embarrassed. You've never left so uneasy, uncomfortable and humiliated before as he nags on. "Look. I'm going to tell you a very important fact right now," His voice deeply grunts. "I'm not going to waste my time with you if you’re not serious. Do you think you’re deserving to be a dreamer?”

“Sir I’m not too sure-”

“So why the fuck do you think you’re here?” Jaemin groans out.

“I don’t know.”

“Do you even want to be here? You’re showing no interest at all in this and it’s pissing me off. Since you walked in here you've ruined my whole mood and now after questioning you, you've shown me zero interest in being a Dreamer-"

"Sir respectfully speaking." You find yourself cutting him off with a trembling tone. "I think I want to leave. I think the elders have made a mistake in selecting me as the dreamer.”

“You want to leave? Leaving before we even get started? Wow. Leave then. You know where the door is. And don’t expect to come back tomorrow if you’re just going to be a slow nuisance.” He manages to pull off another disappointed look at you. And before he can even say another word, your fast paced footsteps lead you up the stairs and you push past the door almost running through the corridors and finally to the front door, thankfully the censor senses movements and the door opens. You run to your bike and get on it leaving.

You feel strangled and strained on your whole journey back, the tears being forced not to implore out as you ride your bike. But once you get in your house, all the compressed emotions come bawling out of your eyes as you stuff your face in your pillow crying out. You don’t know for how long you wail and weep out, you don’t even hear your mother and father knocking by your door. They enter your room in palpable worry. They look to each other and draw closer to your bed.

Your mother calls your name while sitting on the edge of your bed. “What’s the matter? I got a call from the Intelligence center that you returned home before work hours were over.”

“Mother I hate work.” Sitting up drastically and uncovering your face that’s blotched in waterworks caused by your excessive crying. Your father who’s standing behind your mother, equally looks to you with a down casted face. “I don’t ever wanna go there again.” Your shaky voice paired together with your cries has both Taeyong and Seulgi in shock.

Carefully your mother places her hand on your covered thigh. “But you’re the next Dreamer-”

“I don’t want to be a dreamer.” Your sudden blabbered shout gets the both of them in quick surprise as they take in your behavior. “I don’t wanna go there again! I don’t like it there! He’s so mean to me and I didn’t even do anything.”

“No shouting.” Your mother tries to calm you down but you shake your head getting erratic. “Young lady if you do not lower your voice this instant you will not have supper with us-”

“Please get out of my room. I don’t appreciate you guys not understanding me. Just leave and stop acting like you understand my emotions because you don’t!” You’re far too deep in your emotion to realize that you’ve just commanded and ordered your parents out of your room. But your parents too are in shock at your outburst that they allow themselves out the door as you bang the door. You get shocked by your own behavior but you get on the bed feeling so unfortunate and frustrated.

A light knock lands on your door causing you to sniff back as you open the door. Your father. “I apologize for yelling and being angry.”

“I accept your apology.” His tender tone makes you feel guilty for the upsurge you did this afternoon. “Would you like to come and eat?” Still with your head down you nod. “Good. Your food has gone a bit cold, but it’s still there.”

Walking out the room with your father, you come downstairs to see your brother still eating his food and your mother already finished and setting her empty tray in the center of the table. The middle of the table sinks in the tray and comes back up empty. Upon your entrance your mother sternly stares at you. You avoid eye contact as you make it to your seat. Sitting down, before even touching your tray you meekly look up to her stern and upset eyes. “I apologize for the ruckus I caused this afternoon.”

“You mean disturbance and the tantrum?” She has a deep frown on her face. You can’t even look at her. “Do you know where bad kids go if they don’t obey their parents? They get released. Immediately. Do you want to be released?” She questions sternly and you shake your head. “You have been greatly honored to carry the duty of being a Dreamer, and what do you do? You rebut.”

“I apologize mother.” You say again, sucking up your lips trying to find a way to bring up the topic in a calm manner. “Mother but I don’t-”

“I am not done talking young lady. Your distressed brother can’t even bring himself to eat because of your uproar.” She continues, making you pay attention to Chenle who still has his chopsticks in his hands but doesn’t eat.

“I apologize brother.” You speak.

He looks up with crystal eyes that would almost break. He stutters out. “I- I accept your apology.”

“I feel disappointed and upset in you Y/n.” Seulgi is vocal about her feelings towards you. “I was flabbergasted this afternoon.”

“I apologize mother.” But that only irks your voice to speak up. “But I’m also stressed and angry-”

“Precision of language.” She’s quick in correcting you. “Do you even know what anger is? You are not feeling angry; you are feeling annoyed and maybe even rebellious.”

“No I’m not. Why do you always try to correct what I’m feeling, when I myself know what I’m feeling? You don’t understand what I went through today- so how can you judge whether I’m angry or not. My mentor the dreamer is a huge jerk and-” You can hear your mother saying precision of language, while your father silently continues to eat in the tense atmosphere and Chenle about cry. “You don’t know what I’m feeling at all but you pretend to know everything. If you claim to know everything why don’t you be the dreamer. I hate it there-”

Your mother’s voice rises. “Young lady. Precision of language. And I’m warning you to lower your tone-”

There’s no way of saying this calmly anymore, as you’re already being fired up with emotions. “Mother you have the power to speak to the chiefs and elders in charge because you work as the head principals for all the schools in this community. I’m sure if you tell them about my amazing participation at the nursing center, then they can change me and put me there-”

“I will not use my position to carry out your obnoxiously spoiled behavior just because you had one bad day at work-”

“It’s not one bad day- this guy is a maniac! He’s so rude and mean!”

“How dare you speak like that about an Elder?” Your mother can’t get any more worked up then she is. This is something new she’s experiencing and Taeyong too senses the rising argument turning into something bad. He gets up and moves to Chenle helping him out his seat and leading him up the stairs to his room. He wasn’t allowed to see such waves of emotions.

“Father,” Chenle asks lowly in sorrow. “Why are mother and Y/n yelling?”

“Don’t worry Chenle. It’ll be alright. Just brush your teeth and get ready for bed. You can take your injection alone this time, while father goes to assist mother in trying to calm down your sister. Okay?”

“Okay father.” Chenle nods his head, obeying the words of his father. While Taeyong goes back down the stairs only to hear the escalation of the conversation.

A word arises in you in heaps of and you blurt it out. “No!” You complain. “It’s not fair.” Your chair falls back at you stand up abruptly.

“Precision of language!” This time Seulgi raises her voice querulously standing up as well evoking her authority over you and deep fury. How dare you talk back? Raise your voice? Say such nonsensical things? Stare her in the eye and continuously breaking and violating all rules of language. “What do you know about fairness? My decision is final and firm. You will go to work tomorrow and obey the Elder Dreamer! Do you hear me?”

“Mother-” You cry out.

“If you will not eat and continue to stand there quarrelling and arguing with me I will send you off to be re-”

“You’re so cruel!” Is your last resort of defiance to her word as you run off from the table and up the stairs. In another act of defiance, you bang the door causing everyone in the house to jolt. Chenle quickly places his wrist over the little robotic stand taking his injection so that he can sleep and not allow his mind to be filled with the worries of the house.

“That little girl has gone mad.” Seulgi storms up the stairs ready to issue you your first warning but yet Taeyong stops her.

“My wife please control yourself. You’re acting out of an unhealthy temper. Calm down please.” Taeyong places his hands gently over her shoulders. Even though touching was only allowed within family members, he still found himself agitated when holding onto his wife. He lets her go when his hands rest on for too long. She deeply breathes in and walks down the stairs to the living room. Taeyong places the other trays in the middle of the table before joining his wife on the couch. Very soon it’ll be sleep time. But he can’t sleep knowing she’s upset. He’s interrupted when the robotic podium by the door beeps.

“Please stand by for a transition.” They’re both up on their feet in an instant with beating hearts as a hologram programs itself and stands in the middle of their living room. They’re stunned to see the general suit of the President. His voice morphs out of the robotic voice into his voice. “Good evening residence of Taeyong.”

“Good evening sir.” They both bow standing straight. The hologram would only present itself in public spaces on special occasions, but seeing it in the middle of their living room they’re in shock. The president of all communities is standing right in their dwelling place. This is either bad or good. But after what happened, it’s most likely the people in Intelligence watching over the communities’ surveillance camera caught onto the argument that was happening.

“I apologize for appearing in just short notice.”

“We accept your apology.”

“It is with utmost importance that you understand everything that I will say.” President Johnny says strictly. “Your daughter has been greatly privileged in the position of being our next Dreamer. She’ll be held in the highest regards at her post. Do you know what that means? That in due time, after Jaemin will step down from his post, all elders will come to your daughter to seek advice on decision making. Including myself. She will be the one who makes the final decision regarding all 7 communities. She will oversee and be the eyes of our world. Your daughter has been selected to undergo a change in her behavior.”

The pressure is almost tangible.

“We’re well pleased with how you’ve handled her unruly emotions, however as protocol, we’ll need to punish her.” Johnny mentions, noting that their activities in the house didn’t go unnoticed by the people watching and listening over various platforms and gadgets. His plan, to lore you in and deal with you himself. Infiltrate your mind about Jaemin and hopefully have you on the president’s side.

“Pardon me President Johnny. Please don’t punish my daughter. It was just her first day and it seems that there was a misunderstanding between her and the Dreamer.” Seulgi politely inputs.

Johnny civilly smiles. “If I must explain why I have appeared here virtually, it’s to address the importance of the Dreamer’s work. It is the only Headquarters we have across all the communities, and thus it’s the only place that has no cameras, no earpieces and no way for us to check in. As elders we are blind to the things she will train about, the pain she will face, the hardship she will have to endure, however all we know is that Dreamer Na Jaemin chose her. If it were my daughter, I too would be concerned seeing her cry, but as he chose her, he saw her fit. Meaning she needs to learn to endure his prude behavior just for a little while.. After all, this is her job, this is the only thing she’s made to do. If she refuses, then we’ll have to release her. And that will be a great loss, not only for your community, but for all the communities. What a shame that will be. I can’t imagine being the parent of a child who’s failed.”

The pressure being put upon them is very much palpable. It almost feels like all the communities are depending on her to get it right. Is this really the great responsibility you’d have to carry?

“As you’ve stated that she shouldn’t be punished, I’m assuming you have a way to convince her to returning to her duty as the Dream Trainee.” Johnny says. “None the less, if she won’t be punished, then one of you will need to take her place. As I speak, there are two securities outside your door ready to take one of you or her. I truly apologize to bring such distressing news like this.”

“We accept-” Seulgi stops speaking when hearing that Taeyong isn’t saying anything. She turns to him and his face is tangled in a severe unyielding hassle.

“I’m sorry to inquire this President Suh.” Taeyong speaks up. “Is it possible for the Dreamer to choose someone else? I don’t deny the great responsibility it is to-”

“Taeyong.” Seulgi hushes him shaking her head. He merely stares at her before directing his gaze to the ground.

“She’s just a little girl. To put all that weight of pressure on her shoulders is-”

“At the ceremony we all deemed her strong. If we change her job, won’t it be unfair to all the other 20’s who might be in similar positions of not liking what job they’re in?” Even though that is highly impossible, Johnny tries to prove a point. In history of the communities, there hasn’t been a single person who has hated their post. For Taeyong to be saying that only makes Johnny understand that Jaemin most certainly provoked you. Johnny tries not to scoff aloud, at this rate Jaemin might remain the only Dreamer again. “Your daughter is not so little anymore and it’s with that behavior that we should send her into punishment now in order to confine her and-”

“No. Please don’t take her.” Seulgi speaks up quickly. Apologizing for interrupting him to which Johnny doesn’t accept the apology, causing the air to be tight. Seulgi puts an end to the visitation. “I apologize for our inadequate behavior. We will do what must be done for our community. Take me instead for her punishment. Her father-” Seulgi in hopes of keeping her family name honored stares at Taeyong. Trying to make him understand that value in society is important then whatever he was feeling for your bratty attitude. “He will talk to her.”

Johnny stares down at the two beings in firmness. Frankly speaking, aside from being president, Johnny really enjoyed making people in the community sweat with fear. It makes him feel really powerful and in control. “I accept your apology. Thank you for your time.”

The hologram turns off and a deep silence is spread throughout the room until a low knock makes itself known. “Taeyong, make sure to speak to her before curfew. We cannot be shamed.” Those are Seulgi’s last words as she makes her way to the door and following the two securities. Taeyong sighs hopelessly taking a seat on the couch. Not good.

“30 minutes to light out.” The distant robotic voice captures the attention of all residence dwellings. Taeyong gets himself up and makes his way to your room. He didn’t want to impose or force you, but it seems like he’ll have to do what must be done.

Entering your room without knocking, Taeyong finds you upright on the bed with a somber look. You already had a feeling of what he’d say. “Father please.”

“You need to be brave my daughter.” He lets out as he sits on the edge of your bed.

“I don’t wanna go back. I don’t want to be a Dreamer. Father please don’t make me go.” You cry out. “Please.” You try to subside your crying but it only turns into a tremble of hiccups. “Please father, can’t we just make a request for them to change me? I don’t want to be Dreamer. He was so mean and unfriendly. Please.”

Taeyong is feeling an overwhelming pit of hurt inside of him. He’s never felt like this before. But seeing you cry and beg only aches him to want to do something for you, but he knows he can’t. If he had the power, he would have recommended you be changed. But he’s not, and it would be unfair to the community. He puts his arms around you. You take a quick second to respond and confide in his embrace. “Father please.” You plead.

“You know,” He speaks quietly. Thinking of how to shatter you but in a light way. “Jisung is still in the nurturing center and he continues to fight for his chance to be a one. Just the same way he’s trying his best, I want you to try your best. Perhaps today was an unpleasant day, but who knows, maybe tomorrow things will be different.” He hears you crying, but he continues on with a heavy heart.

“But he makes me feel so incompetent and so stupid.” You hiccup the words out.

“So prove to him that you are not incompetent or stupid. Do your best my daughter. Because I know that you are not stupid. You are unique. There must be a reason he selected you. If he saw something in you the first time he chose you, then try your best to keep up with that image that he saw. You alone can handle this. It may be a tough journey, but I promise you my daughter, you will bring great honor to your family and for all the communities. You are worthy to lead us all, and I… believe in you.”

Precision of language. You hear in your head. But you don’t say it out loud. The word ‘believe’ has some kind of effect on you to take in what your father said. It’s better than the words of your mother. Your father believed in you, and that’s all that mattered for now. Even though you really didn’t want to go back to the Dream Headquarters, there was no other place you were put in. You were selected and it’s for that reason why all your life you felt different. Maybe it’s what Jaemin saw when he saw you. He believed that you’d be the next Dreamer. Whatever that meant.

Breakfast is quiet in the morning, with your mother not being present. You eat your breakfast and try to cheer Chenle up, who woke up extremely quiet. Waking up today, you felt encouraged from your fathers strengthening words. You didn’t want to wear the black clothes, but you had no choice. You picked out the dress that was buttoned down with a white shirt collar inside and tried to force a smile on your face. Giving yourself a pep talk. It worked well because you were able to cheer Chenle up… slightly.

“Father,” You ask as he leaves the door just as Chenle gets his bike ready. “Where is mother?”

Taeyong has no idea what the punishment was or when she’d be back. He simply smiles. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll be taking Chenle to school. Try and have a good day at work okay?”

You gulp. “Alright.”

You don’t see Jeno along the path and decide to ride your bike to the unfamiliar roads towards the edge. Your hands ball over the material of the dress before you sigh in and walk towards the door. “Let’s try this one more time.”

Nothing’s changed upon your arrival, you still gaze at the censor and the door opens up in a creepy way, the endless halls feel even longer today and at last upon getting to the Dreamer door, you push it open. The only thing different today is that you see the Dreamer already seated on the single couch… sipping on a little cup. You push the door quietly behind you catching his attention. His head instantly springs towards the uninvited guest. Seeing you, his nonchalant gaze doesn’t change. “You’re back.” Great, he sarcastically groans.

You take in a sharp breath, feeling like you can smell the rushing waters and the pure air around. “Rule number one. Report directly to the Dreamer, Na Jaemin for my training. After training I should return immediately to my dwelling. Rule number two. As of this moment on I’m exempted from all rules governing rudeness. I may ask questions. Rule three. Aside from my sleep injection medication, I’m not allowed to take any other form of medication. Especially for the pain. Rule number four. I may not discuss my training with anyone. Ever. And rule number five allows me to lie.”

You suck up your breath with your hands behind your back watching him with a look of determination. Perhaps your father was right and your mother too was right. Yesterday was just one bad day, and it shouldn’t be how you define Dreamer Na Jaemin.

“Dude it’s like 7 in the morning, I just woke up.” He simply stares up at you shaking his head. “A good morning would’ve done the job just fine.”

“But you said, and I quote that I should miss you with that greeting. I assume you don’t like greetings.”

He sighs. You sound chatty today. “I don’t like those manufactured greetings that everyone is obliged to do. Have some personality is what I mean.”

“Personality?”

He deeply sighs rolling his eyes, stretching his hand and signaling you to come down. This time you’re quick in rushing down the stairs with loud and rapid steps causing Jaemin to turn his head back at you in discombobulation as he watches you spiraling down the steps with quick feet. Damn. Someone’s eager today. Before he knows it, you’re already down the steps and walking towards him hastily. You stop several feet away from him. Confusion… Maybe even muddled thoughts, is what’s happening in Jaemin’s head. “And then? What the hell? Why’re you beating down on my floors like that? Fuck, do you want to break them?”

“I apolo-” You stop yourself from apologizing recalling how irritated he got when you kept apologizing. “Yesterday you told me to be fast.” You explain. “My intentions were not to break the floors. However, I made no such move to destroy your floors by walking on them.”

Jaemin sighs and rubs his head. “It’s too early for this.” He mumbles and waves his hand over to the long couch opposite him. “Take a seat. I was just having my breakfast.”

You wish to apologize for interrupting, yet your head tilts to the side in confusion when seeing him attend to his own breakfast instead of it being delivered by the table… Come to think of it, and by the looks of it, his table did not look like anything you had in your house. Instead, he’s got a tray… a little… cup. You think. You’ve never heard of a cup before. Everyone in the community used bottles. Even before you came down… your mind made reference to the cup he was drinking from. He leans forward taking a knife utensil in his hand and spreading a thick substance over bread… the bread looks a shade black and you blink twice in astonishment. Your eyes try not stare in absolute confusion or dread, but when you meet his eyes and watching as they’re already on you with an amused smirk, you lean back and sit up straight. “The community eliminated simple breakfast such as toasted bread or chocolate spreading because of allergies erupting, intolerance or even things like smell or color- which you can’t see.” Jaemin mutters.

“I apologize- I mean… I don’t apologize.” You clear your throat looking ahead and away from him as he eats his food. The things he said about allergies, smell and color… are all new to you.

He sighs and shakes his head continuing to spread ‘chocolate’ over his toast. “Give me a second to eat and I’ll get back to you.” His eyes peer at yours before he continues eating, ignoring you. Frankly speaking, he didn’t think you’d come back. With the way you cried before leaving his layer, he already deemed you as unfit and thus feeling like he made another horrible choice. However, you’re here. And he has yet to ask you why. But for now, he eats his food, as you stare back and forth to anything that catches your eye. The tree staircase. The books on the wall…

You’ve never seen so many books before. In classes, the only person who had a book was the teacher as she/he taught everyone. You and the rest of your classmates were assigned to remember and memorize the words she said by brain memory. You’ve never opened a book before or see more than one. So to see all the books on the wall has you hooked.

“You can take a look at them if you like.” Jaemin mumbles nodding to the thing that has captivated your attention the most. Your head snaps back to him politely smiling and looking back. Getting up carefully, holding onto your skirt. You walk towards the books, being careful of the floor, hearing your shoes tapping on it. Nearing the long shelf of books, your eyes with interest read over the titles on the spine. Over each shelf there’s a little metallic bar that has titles for each section. Science fiction, fiction, paranormal etc. You get drawn to a certain title that’s on the far left near the lift.

‘Reality’. Looking the books that surround the shelf, one captures your attention… ‘Dreamscape’ You carefully pull it out of its slot. It’s a hardcover and it’s black, with a heavy font title. You’ve never opened a book before, but you can already expect the type of things to be in it. For one, it should be words. Yet, for some reason, in this book… instead of words you see… pictures. Odd pictures that play with your mind and intelligence.

“That’s a good pick.” You cover the book quick turning to the side seeing Jaemin’s hands stuffed in his gown pockets as he enters the lift. “I’m going to change.” He mumbles. Soon the elevator closes and he’s out of sight. Turing around you see his breakfast still on the table. Still with the book in hand, you walk back to the table taking a seat, you look through the peculiar pictures being in awe and even amazement of what you’re seeing. Thankfully after every picture on one page, there’s a back page with the illustration of artwork.

‘Dreamscape. A noun. A realm taking place in a dream. It can be shaped and changed by skilled dreamers. A blank canvas on which dreams are formed. It can also be daydreaming deeply. It duplicates a fanatically fascinating scene as seen in a dream.’

The pictures you see are things you’ve never seen before in your entire life… yet with the longer you look… a name comes to mind. Your eyes are in pure wonder by the obscurity of the art being displayed. There’s something eerie about the pictures yet so insightful. You end up getting freaked out by the eerie similarity it has to reality. To think that these things exist is off putting. As this book is called the dreamscape, would it mean that you’ll be seeing more of these things?

Your eyes move to the table, where one color of the cup stands out to you. You place everything on the tray and pick up the tray looking for a disposable place to put it. It seems like the dreamer Na Jaemin doesn’t have any of the recent modifications to his house. Everyone has the same layout of their houses, but Jaemin’s house… or rather the Dream center doesn’t have the same things as out there. You end up not exploring the place and just leave the tray on the side of the table after cleaning up the space nicely.

“I’m gonna just kick off with where we brutally ended off yesterday.” Jaemin’s presence is brought back in the room when he strides towards the table. He notices that you’ve cleaned up the table for him. He inhales inside as he takes a seat. “But before I start, I just wanted to excuse myself for how I behaved yesterday.”

Your ears are attentive to that. “If your mood was spoiled upon my presence, then I truly apologize. I was nervous and unprepared. I took up your time and for that I apologize. I can assure you that I am a fast person and-”

“That’s not necessary.” He tightly smiles bowing his head to scratch his nape. “You caught me during a bad time. And I dare even say I’m used to being alone and seeing you in my house just threw me off guard. So when you showed up, I was already up here-” He motions with his hand as if motioning a bar. You assume he was already upset.

“I accept your apology.”

He looks like he’s about to speak again, but after hearing you he sighs and shuts his eyes. You hold onto your fingertips wondering if it’s because accepted his apology that he got upset. “Do me favor. When you’re here, try and not be… robotic.” He opens up his eyes peering deeply into your eyes. “See it like this. You’re now a Dreamer, you’ve got nothing to apologize for. Here, in this place, with me, you are free.”

“That’s a… precision of language.”

“What is?”

“Being free.” You utter lowly. “That evokes unrestricting behavior.”

He smiles at that. “Trust me. When you’re here with me, you’re free. Freedom is not what they’ve taught you. For as long as you’re here with me, everything you’ve been taught in school will soon be put to shame. So, let’s start again. Why do you think I picked you?” He prays that you’re prepared this time.

Already having prepared the answer at home, you respond accordingly. “I assume you picked me because of my excellent scores in academics. I have shown a keen understanding in almost all of our communities rules and how our world works and-”

Jaemin merely blinks staring at you. His eye twitches nonchalantly in irritation but he tries to compose himself. He can’t fathom that this is how his life is going to be from now on. You answer on as if you’re being questioned for an interview. You ramble on about the things you’ve done in your classes, projects and in all honesty they sound great, but to Jaemin he doesn’t give a damn about your achievements. So when he cuts you off, it’s because he’s tired of hearing you speak. “Your robotic voice is already doing the things it shouldn’t be doing. Tell me about the day you first noticed that you were ‘different’. That something seemed unusual in this bubble world. The day the sky turned blue, the day you fell asleep without taking your nightly dosage. I wanna hear about that. Being a dreamer is not so much about your excellence in projects, it’s more so about seeing beyond. It’s what caught my eye when I saw you.”

You nod slightly, feeling your heart beat slow down by his calm demeanor when addressing you. “Seeing beyond… would that mean seeing something that others can’t?” Jaemin nods his head. “I don’t know if I’ve seen beyond, but I can confess to seeing something in the sky… You called it blue. It’s what I saw. The sky was blue. But would this mean that you’ve been watching me all the time? Is that how you were able to tell?”

“Honestly the first time I laid my eyes on you was three days, riding your bike while looking up at the sky. I work in Intelligence, so I’m in charge mostly for the injections and serums that the community takes in order to remain ‘the same’, so I get noticed when someone doesn’t take their injection. Which is rare. But after seeing you, I noticed that your record captured that you’d often take your injection late and not at the same time as everyone.” Jaemin lets you in.

“But, President Johnny said you weren’t haste in making selecting.” What can this mean?

“I wasn’t haste. I saw your eyes.” Jaemin states, this time his eyes… doing something to you. “And I already knew. You see, the serums and injections are modified and cultivated by the Dreamers of the past to keep everyone the same. But you, aren’t the same like them. You can see beyond. Our duty as Dreamers, is to make sure we’re bound to never repeat the mistakes our descendants of the past made in destroying the world.” Jaemin gives insight, to which you’re surprised. “If you want me to be frank with you, I chose you off a hunch that you saw the blue color in the sky.”

“Color.” You say slowly…by the new word that just formed a second ago. Not only color but all sorts of new words; utensil knife, cup… These are words you’ve never known before. It looks like today Dreamer Na Jaemin seems to be willing to share something with you. “Will you be… sharing with me what color is?

For the first time, since you’ve been here, Na Jaemin displays a smile. “You’re here for one purpose. To dream beyond the infinite universe. I will transmit to you all the memories and all the dreamscapes I hold.”

You clear your throat. “I would be very interested in learning about your life,”

“No, not my life. Memories of the everything before the war.” Jaemin smirks a little. “You will learn the secret history of the world. About the past long before you were born, or even me, or even anyone in these damn communities. Generations dating back. You’ll learn everything. So, as the memories come, words you’ve never heard of before will also sparkle into your head as if you’ve always known them.”

“I’m not understanding…” You say lowly. “Memories of the world?”

“Yes, the large world we live in, not just here in our communities. There’s much more, so much beyond what we know. I received all of those when I was selected too. And here in this room all alone, I re-experienced them again and again, it’s how the wisdom comes, and how we shape our future. For example, color. These are sights to behold, that fill life with kinetic energy. You can see the color blue now, but in due time all the colors will manifest themselves. When they’ll come, instantly catch onto it’s name.” Jaemin gets up and begins to drag the glass table to the side. Once he’s done, he scoots his chair closer to you, your knees almost touching.

You feel uncomfortable by his proximity and shift backwards in your seat, creating some space again. Jaemin notices this, but doesn’t say much as he holds out his hands. “You see, no one in our community has any memories of the past. Only me. When the elders need guidance in things they’ve never experienced, I provide wisdom. Which will now be your role, using the guidance of the memories of the past. Our community thrives in avoiding anything that will lead to the disasters of the previous world we’ve left behind.”

Confused is what you are. But you don’t voice it.

“Give me your hands.”

“My hands?”

He nods his head while removing his leather black jacket and then holding out both of his hands.

You unwillingly stretch your hands to him, peering up at him … you gaze onto the palm of his hands when seeing a rectangular darkened shape right in the middle, it’s small but it’s dark enough for you to see. It’s exactly the same like yours. On the palm of your hands there’s also a rectangular shape in a shade darker. “Isn’t touching prohibited?”

“With me it’s not.” He takes your hands in his and you shiver just by how cold his are. Jaemin feels your soft hands tilting his head to the side when gazing at your nervous ones. “In anyway, if this hurts, let me know.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“I’ll open your mind.” Holding your hands firmly by aligning the rectangular shapes onto each other instantly as if being in a trance you fall unconscious blacking out.

At first it’s just darkness like sleep as you see nothing. The blackness soon fades, leaving little flickering lights coming clear to your vision. Next thing you know, you can’t feel Jaemin’s hands anymore… but it’s like you’re transported to some other place. And then that’s when you feel it. The sound hits your ears first, before you feel the pressure of the wind against your face. Your eyes follow on as you flatter them to open. Instantly your view is engulfed by the optical sight of wonder. Your eyes enlarge… the skies, the clouds passing by rapidly as you’re on some sort of carriage, vehicle.

The odd word comes in your head. There’s no roof and you seem to be navigating it. Your hands are on a circular object, you turn it lightly and it causes you to shift the vehicle to another lane. You’re in awe the shades and hues of… color as they bounce out of the black and grey and turn into… colors you’ve never seen before… At first you see blue first, on the skies… and then on the grass, a bright refreshing pop spreads all over into…green… you think. Not only that, you notice your hands as a shade brightens your skin, the wheel of the vehicle and eventually also the car itself spreads into a color that you can’t really tell… or catch onto the word.

Instead of wondering about the color, your ears get engulfed by the wind, it swirls in your ears whooshing past your hair and tingles your skin. The speed of the vehicle increases when you press down on something. With the road narrow and endless, you smile as you look out the window of the vehicle enjoying the sights of everything…

Until-

You’re jolted awake briskly snapping your eyes open! “What was that?!” You hastily pull your hands away from Jaemin backing up in fright as you stand and look around, your back hits the floor to ceiling wall window and you rapidly turn around. You can’t even follow the sight of the waterfall, because your eyes are trapped on the sudden… colors forming over the landscape that was once grey… the waterfall has shades of blue as it continues endlessly down, while the scenery of grass and trees and shrubs dealing downwards turn… green. Despite your eyes being open your mind is transported back to that memory of the vehicle you were in… “Car.” You turn around in disbelief shock, as your hands reenact the scene of how you were driving the… car. “It’s a car…”

Jaemin is shocked that you catch onto the names fast. He wasn’t expecting for you to get it that quick. He hums out in understanding… so this is what happens when he’s with a real dreamer… and not when he tries to force someone to be a dreamer. “Yeah, that was a car. It took me a while to get it, but you got it on your first try. Good job”

“What is it though?” You ask curiously (subtly remembering that he just complemented you) walking back to the chair and taking a seat keenly leaning in to hear what Jaemin has to say. “That car, why don’t we have it anymore? It was… extraordinary.” You’re speechless but the enlarged smile on your face has Jaemin lightly smiling for a bit.

“Well, for starters, cars ran on engine and fuel which sometimes would pollute the air. Bad gas in the air caused harm to the earth and different lands harboring crops. Alternative solutions were made to reduce air pollution, such as the car running on battery instead of gas, but with that also came complications of its own. One problem leading to another problem.” Your ears take in all this new information of the foreign thing you were on minutes ago. You listen well, as Jaemin explains. “But for now, I don’t want you to pay mind to why we don’t have it. I want you to… use your senses, to live in the dreamscape, to feel, touch, taste, see, hear, experience all these things. Here, let’s do another one.”

Eagerly you lean close and place your hands out. Jaemin keenly blinks, already knowing that the dreamscape is your favorite activity.

This time you close your eyes eagerly waiting for Jaemin to hold onto your hands. And he does so, his manly rough hands don’t hold you too tight, but his grip is firm enough that this time you literally feel… it may sound odd, but you literally feel your skin merging into his.

Meanwhile Jaemin too shuts his eyes as he inhales deeply deciding to give you another type of dreamscape memory vision of another type of vehicle. It’s like transferring his conscious into yours as you receive the vision, as your hands unconsciously hold his grip tighter… not wanting to let the scene pass you by. Unlike the previous dreamscape vision memory which was a… car in a large field and endless road, in this scene, you shiver lightly and watch as your breath creates a visible air. You notice that you’ve got on such a huge jacket as well as warm pants and… gloves. The odd word forms in your head. There’s something on your head too, protecting you from the temperature drop. A beanie. You rub your hands as your eyes watch in pure innocence at the sight of little whites falling from the sky and landing on the ground. This time the sky is not blue but it’s murky grey and white, the ground is also white and with every step you take, you see your footprints being left behind.

Being interested in something far into the distance, you trudge towards it feeling the ground being a lot heavy as your steps sips into the floor. You get to the weird item on the floor. It’s wooden, shaped in a rectangular manner and has handles. Seemingly already knowing what to do, you get on it holding onto its handle and then… all of a sudden your eyes enlarge as the wooden craft moves along and slides off the white floor… which is a mountain. Holding tightly onto the rope handles, your mouth opens wide in pure delight feeling your cheeks get frozen, yet the beam on your face replaces the cold.

You’re back with a jolt looking around being saddened that it ended all too quickly. “What was that?”

“The dreamscape comes with a name, go ahead,”

You try to think hard, trying to know what you were on. Letting go of Jaemin’s hands you move to the floor and kneel on one knee while lifting your arms up pretending to hold onto the ropes again as you think. Not even a second passes when your curious eyes open up again. “A sleigh. Sledge. Right?”

Jaemin nods his head being content that you’re catching on quick.

“But why would they want to remove that? It was so fun-” You rapidly stand up in pure confusion of why something so fun was removed, but then you recall the whites… “There was something else. The ground and air were different,” You open your palm looking up to the ceiling remembering how it feel down.

“Snow.” Jaemin assists you.

“Snow.” You repeat and bite your lip holding onto your cheek as you recall how cold it was. “I was wearing so many coats and my shoes were large. Did my parents have snow? Did you?”

“No, no.” Jaemin shakes his head leaning back on his chair. “It’s a very distant dreamscape. That weather is known as winter. Here in the community, you’ll soon notice that the air and humidity is boxed in a level cool stratosphere. Each community has it’s open bubble. Not too hot and not too cold.”

“Oh, would that explain all those clouds on the edge?”

Jaemin nods his head. “Yes. The ‘mist’ on the edge is the barrier between the communities. Anyway, back to the dreamscape, we don’t have snow anymore because of climate control,”

“But, why don’t the people know about this?” You shake your head, taking a seat again as you think of all the communities in ‘bubbles’. “What’s so dangerous about the dreamscape, or memory of the sledge?”

“What’s dangerous?” Jaemin pretends to wonder but then shrugs his shoulders. “For a sledge you need snow. Snow is cold. The cold destroys crops. Which meant that farmers couldn’t farm. But to ride the sledge you’d need to be on a mountain. Unpredictable weather tagged with hills and mountains was dangerous altogether, made it difficult to transport food. Transportation used trucks, trucks are large vehicles, bigger then cars. If the truck slipped then fire would erupt destroying not only the crops but the truck and the person in it. The list goes on hunger, starvation, famine. With good, also comes the bad. In the previous world there was no balance, as mother nature also did what it wanted. But with the communities, we’ve created balance.”

“But sure some things can be prevented. In the communities, we don't even make our own food, so to eliminate some things is just unfair,” You reach out your hands. "Show me more."

This time Jaemin takes a look at them before looking back into your amazed eyes. “Let’s go for a walk.”

You draw closer reaching your hands out to him, causing him to smirk. “A real one. With those two transportation parts that you call legs.” He lowly chuckles, getting up from his seat. You follow right next to him, taking notice of his height and long legs. You try to keep up. He begins to go up the stairs and you follow him until you catch onto another color.

“The sleigh was that color.” You point out onto a book that seems to stand out of the other grey books. But upon looking at the wall of books again, you’re surprised when colors like green and blue are on some spines of the books. “Come to think of it, also the car was this color.”

Jaemin’s eyes peer to the book you’re pointing at. “Red. For your information, the car you rode was a convertible with a hood down. Expensive car. We’ll come back later and then I’ll explain what it is that I want from you.”

“Okay.”

The walk with The Dreamer Na Jaemin is very interesting. It’s like your eyes are opened for the first time, as your eyes marvel to the sudden pop and revelation of color… red, blue and green. Not only that, you also see fades of the color on people’s clothes. For one you and Jaemin are wearing black, everyone in the community is supposed to wearing white, however you see lighter shades of red, blue and green on them. “Dreamer,”

“You can call me Jaemin.”

“Oh,” You nod your head. Being stunned for a second that he's actually kind of… humanly generous. “Jaemin. I wanted to ask, how many colors are there?”

“Many. Pink, orange, yellow, purple, red, green, blue and more.” Jaemin nods his head. “You’ll see them all in time. But our community or rather the previous Dreamers chose to do away with all that. Race, religion, colors.”

You have yet to ask what race and religion mean, but you slightly get upset at all the wondrous things being taken away. “But why? Color is beautiful, can you see them all?”

“Yes,” Jaemin sighs. “I try to dye my hair with all the colors, hoping that one day someone might notice something.” But nobody ever does. Here in the communities, aside from the pastel colors of sameness, there was nothing really to admire, which is why Jaemin liked to sit in his headquarters, because he’d fill it up with so many colors, make the room come alive. For example while his headquarters had lively colors bursting out, here in the community Jaemin would watch at how workers would install fake branches on a prototype steam to create an illusion of a tree… only problem was that the tree wasn’t it’s actual color. It was a grey brown, but in the community the people would see grey, and the leaves were a white green, but the community would see white. Everything nature would bloom would be cut out and here in the community everything would be remade plastic. Even the grass has a way of looking real but not being real. Jaemin turns to you, your upset face really gets him remembering how he also felt when his Dreamer… Moon Taeil, would explain why a lot of the things were removed. And not mention Jaemin also helped in removing many things. “They created sameness. Because if we were different, it would lead to people being envious, angry, resentful, consumed with hatred. We need sameness.” Jaemin concludes. “What do you think?”

After his response, you kind of agree to the benefits of sameness because your everyday life was filled with sameness. But now, as your eyes take note of the pastel colors, you wonder if really it would be so wrong. “I agree that we need sameness.” Jaemin hums while stuffing his hands in his leather pocket.

You both stroll on the paved ground, while you notice new things, Jaemin's eyes move around the stillness of the community, of the people walking like mindless clones of each other. He hates leaving his headquarters and walking around, because he always gets upset at the reality that everyone is living.

Being a dreamer, means living with a world that exists only in dreams. There’s nothing that he craves for outside of his dreams, because this reality has nothing for him to live for. So as you chatter about how differences should be put back and it making people individual, he’s mindlessly in his own head eyes fixed on nothing but his own thoughts.

You stop speaking when noticing that he isn’t answering to your questions. “Dreamer?”

Nothing.

Wanting his attention on you, and not knowing how else to get it, you stop right in front of him- but you’re surprised that he literally bumps into you- instantly blinking his eyes and looking down at you. “I apologize- I mean sorry.” You instantly say, seeing that indeed he’s not even focusing on where he walks. “You zoned out.”

He inhales and exhales smiling a bit. “It happens.”

“I want to ask something. The Dreamscape…” You begin as you look up to him. He folds his arms nodding his head. “How… How does it happen? How are you able to… make me see it, and feel and hear and just… be in it?”

“Nicely.” He smiles, and your eyes are fixated on his teeth, his got a pretty smile. This is the first time he’s smiling. He breathes in deeply and peers his eyes around. “Shall we sit?”

“But there’s no bench around,”

Jaemin begins to remove his leather jacket and moves underneath a tree. You follow behind him curiously, wondering why he’s going down on his knees and placing his jacket on the ground. You’re even more surprised when he actually sits down on the floor and pats his leather jacket. “You can sit here,”

“On the floor?” Your eyes enlarge. It’s only your second day, but so far all the things he’s shown you and said, is such a great taboo… So of of course sitting on the floor is natural for him. You timidly but quickly follow and sit on top of his leather jacket as he nods his head. He’s got his back against the tree with his knees arched and his arms around it. You simply tuck your legs underneath your body sitting next to him also facing forward. “Why are we sitting on the floor?”

“Back then, sitting on the ground, or rather on the grass was known as a leisurely activity. Others would have picnics and gather around and spend time with each other while admiring the view and beauty of nature.” You try to picture what he says, but the scene already is so bizarre. People sitting on the floor… for fun? You can feel just how everyone else is feeling, especially when other people walk on the sidewalk and glance towards you and Jaemin like you’re weird. No one else is on the grass, and the gardeners can only glance in confusion before continuing their work of installing fake trees. “This isn’t even a real tree. It’s designed like one, but if you look at it… it can’t compare to the ones back then.”

Your eyes go on the tree… and you see nothing unusual about it. It has a cylinder circumference and has leaves on it. “How else is a tree supposed to look? Because I can assure you the tree in your headquarters is a lot weirder.” You question.

Jaemin smirks and holds out his hand nudging it in your direction. “Take my hand,”

“People are around?”

“So?” He chuckles softly. “Just hold it, I’m your trainer I wouldn’t do anything that’s not of your interest.”

“Really? Because rule number 5 says you’re allowed to lie.” You state. “Does that mean you lie?”

“For personal amusements, yes. To you though,” Jaemin shakes his head, his eyes literally peering into yours, making you feel… self-consciously aware of your feelings, as you feel air bumbling in your stomach. “I won’t lie.”

Without saying anymore, you place your hand in his and as he closes his eyes, your own vision blacks out, blocking out your real world senses and instantly being transported to a vibrant place.

The first thing you feel, even before you open your eyes, is the warmth all around you, almost like a heat so palpable. Your eyes flatter open and you look up to the sky trying to adjust to all the light pouring in place. The sun rests high on the sky… you can’t tell what color it is, but with the way it emits its warmth over you, has you grinning. You navigate your gaze back to the lower level immediately being immersed by so much- you don't know what to describe first. Grass so green sprinkled with little white flowers… or the fact that the vastly large field is so great and wide that it encompasses so many people… or even the fact that there's so much life spread around the field. People in different clothes and body sizes. People; sitting on little blankets either in pairs or groups and even alone, or others sitting directly on the grass reading over books, some even lay on the grass. Taking in the scenery around you, your ears are filled with the sounds of laughter and joyous chatter and even a serene peace.

Your eyes are taken to a red carriage as a woman pushes it. She's got on a beautiful dress. You can't tell its color but you know that she feels so comfortable in it. She brings out a little blanket and spreads it over the grass before placing a basket on it. Next she brings out the baby from the carriage and showers the child with so much affection that your own eyes widen. How can she display that in public? Her smile is so large as the baby wiggles in her arms. She cradles the baby as she sits on top of the blanket. Three young boys walk up to the blanket carrying several of things and they place it down, one boy instantly brings out this weird almost slopping bread and eats it with a wide mouth. Another boy… gets out an oddly shaped object and directs it towards the other boy who's not even paying attention. He does something to the object and out squirts water. You jolt when seeing the spring shower of water come out of it. It causes the other boy to be wet.

He audibly laughs before bringing out his own object and out of it also comes water. The both of them are chasing each other across the field while the boy eating pizza stays close to the woman… probably his mother.

"Come and sit,"

Hearing the voice from behind you, you spin your head around only to notice Jaemin… Your eyes enlarge so much when noticing the shadow first on the ground and then the roots spiritling out the ground and morphing tall and high around a large bark… it stretches meters high and large and with so many branches sprawls out leaves… "A tree…" You marvel at it.

Jaemin smiles, watching you being fascinated by the sight. "Told you it's not the same," He says as you draw close and near to him.. Your eyes are solely focused on the tree… getting close to it, your hand spreads out and lands on the oak. Feeling it's texture underneath your skin, your breath is stolen yet again when another color begins to manifest.

"Br… Brown?" You look down to Jaemin who nods his head. You turn around and the of course the new color brown begins to highlight certain people, objects. You smile and take a seat next to Jaemin… But noticing your own clothes. You jump back seeing all your legs being revealed. Your arms cross over to hide the exposure however you notice the denim shorts you're wearing. With socks around your ankles and a simple shirt tucked in, you look to Jaemin, only seeing him in his usual black clothes… but his body proportions are a bit toned in size, such his muscles. "What am I wearing?"

Jaemin chuckles and pats the spot next to him, over the blanket. "Those would be clothes."

His one answer has you launching out so many more questions to him. Jaemin lets you ask away as you lose your mind in delight about how this exists and why don't we have it anymore, about the people, the clothes, the grass and tree and sun- you even question his smile and biceps!

"What? You don't like seeing me smile?” Jaemin questions jokingly. “And how can you not like my biceps? I worked hard on these,” He flexes his muscles- which you respond by laughing nervously… You don’t know how to react as he continues to pump up the veins over his muscles.

“No!” You get flattered holding your hand out and shaking your head. “No, I mean, you can have your muscles and smile. It’s just…” It’s weird. You think to yourself. A day ago, he was the enemy, and you had prepared yourself to dislike him but now… he’s smiling.

“Starting off, you asked how is all this able to happen,” He sighs before crossing his legs and leaning on the palm of his hand. “This is a dreamscape. A dreamscape is a place where reality has been stripped away, leaving only the illusion of it. An illusion. So all this, is like living inside of a dream.”

“What’s a dream?”

“Normally, when you sleep, you’re supposed to get dreams. Dreams… Dreams are like reality, only except it’s created in your head. Your mind creates visuals, imaginations that go beyond our world. Same with a dreamscape like this, it has all the same qualities of the real world, but just more. These are real things that have happened, to someone who’s had this memory. I’m just transmitting it to you.” Jaemin somberly smiles before his eyes turn a bit distraught. “It’s beautiful isn’t it?”

Your heart pumps fast as you find yourself asking after a while. “It is. If this was all real once, why did the Dreamers remove it?”

“Sameness is sickening, but the past Dreamers were convinced that we needed sameness, and so here we have it.” He says. “The burden of a dreamer is removing little things from the real world because of the harm they can do. Dreamers live with all these dreamscapes and memories with no one to share them with. The people in here seem real, but they’ve long passed. All this is a memory. It can kind of make you feel lonely.” He vulnerably answers quietly. “I’ve only been a dreamer for 4 years, and I'm guilty of also contributing to removing things from our boxed up world."

"Why?"

"People take advantage of the little." Jaemin recalls Johnny. "So why allow it to remain and slowly turn ugly? Its not like a do it because I want to. I read the signs fast and act on it. It burdens me when I do it, because then I'll be the only one with the memory of it, but I know it's for the greater good of the community.”

“Greater good? I've never understood why there's one Dreamer, but surely keeping all that to yourself isn't healthy, it's… it can be depressing. Now that I’m a Dreamer you can share that loneliness with me.” Jaemin simply nods his head. “So for how long did he you train and how long do you expect me to train so that I can understand why you and the previous dreamers removed things?”

“Well for starters, I don’t intend on rushing anything with you. Like President Johnny said, we can’t afford another failure.” Jaemin sighs and closes his eyes feeling the wind pass him, your eyes watching how his hair flows with the wind. “It takes 2 years to train a dreamer fully, but Dreamer Taeil trained me in under a year before he died.”

“What’s died?” Your eyes enlarge by the new word. “And what do you mean, you can’t afford another failure?”

“He kicked the bucket. He was released to elsewhere. As for the failure dreamer. Before you, in another community there was another selected Dreamer. Let’s just say, the president didn’t really approve of him being a dreamer and wanted me to work longer.” Jaemin speaks in generic terms. “Anyway, our job as dreamers is to hold onto memories and dreams and give guidance to the Neorists, not try and create rebellion or make things harder for everyone. Let’s take a trip down memory lane-” Jaemin stops his speech when seeing you put out your hands, but that has him smiling coyly. “I mean with my words.”

“Oh.” You retreat your hands looking bummed but still eager to hear.

“They lied to you." Jaemin starts off already breaking the ice. “Each community has a large surface area being enclosed by this bubble high up in the sky, it manages the weather, controls the air, and if need to be done can control the people. Your teachers were taught a lie, and thus taught a mass number of students lies. Everyone here has believed in a lie and made that lie a truth.”

“What lie did they believe?”

"That sameness is the answer." He leans forward his shoulders hunching. “We’re trapped in a bubble. Forced to start afresh every damn damn time something goes wrong. Like new born babies. The bubble keeping us in pours ignorance in the air. Making everyone to not only forget, but to remain indifferent.”

“Why?”

“Why we’re trapped or why we’re ignorant?” He smirks, but doesn’t find it funny. “Well to answer both, we’re trapped because the world outside this bubble is infected with a disease so strong it can kill you just by breathing it in. And we’re ignorant inside this bubble so that we don’t cause panic amongst everyone. Tell me, would you say our community is perfect?”

“Yes it is.”

“Why?” He follows up.

At this point, from birth it’s already been engraved into your system. “Our communities have no sicknesses, no fear, no pain, no envy, no hate, no troubles. Everyone has enough, nothing more and nothing less. We can all survive peacefully. And not like the times during the war.” You nod your head.

Jaemin nods his head almost sardonically- sarcastically getting you to stop instantly. “At this point its mere head knowledge, why would I ask. You’re right. This community is perfect. We’ve cured diseases such as cancer, diabetes, corna, and so many more viruses too.” You’re confused at the weird words he’s saying. Were those diseases of the past? “Everyone in the community thinks and acts the same because of the serum injections. All the tasks here in this community are done manually and the people do routine tasks on the clock for the rest of their lives. We’re just lifeless humans. Just moving and advancing the community. I can say we’re trapped, but the community would say otherwise. The people in here don’t know what’s out there. They just know that the world outside is places that have never recovered from the war. They make us repeat over and over that we’re lucky to be here in the communities, and to some extent, I agree. But really, if the people knew what’s out there they would lament just as we Dreamers do, but one brave Dreamer saw that it wasn’t fair for everyone to be sad so he allowed for only one Dreamer at a time to carry all the burdens and joys of this earth. And made everyone believe that there’s nothing out there for us that we're better inside. My only problem is how, I have to live with the pain of carrying all these isolated memories. The community, they have never known pain.” He thinks. The realization makes him feel desperately lonely. “But there’s nothing left to do but continue and not allow them to feel pain.”

“Honestly. I can’t lie.” You shake your head. “The truth is, with the little you’ve shown me, all I want to do is show others.”

"I know it's tempting." Jaemin looks to you. “I’m able to transmit to you these dreamscapes through the palm of my hands. These rectangles in the palm of our hands, is what makes you and I different from everyone else in the community. Without this, they can’t see what we see.”

“But why? How?”

“They’re known as birthmarks. It’s like this, once you look up to the sky, and see something odd it immediately does something to your body. You get this.” He opens the palm of his hand showing his own rectangle birthmark. “Everybody can look up to the sky, and all of them miss out on that one thing that changes everything. It’s the first time you break the bubble with your eyes and see the sky, and see the color blue.”

Again, the memory comes to you, of the first time you noticed the sky changing in hue… in color. In blue.

“What’s believed to happen is that, Dreamers are crying babies.”

“Crying baby?”

Jaemin nods his head. “Fate. From the moment you’re born in this community, you breathe in the toxic air to forget. You’re then brought up in a way that shapes and molds you to the communities needs and wants. But as fate has it, there’s always 1 crying baby. Every 10 years I can say 1 crying baby is born. That crying baby is already fated to be the next Dreamer. It’s just fate. Some of the past Dreamers would usually just keep the memories to themselves for a very long time until their death clock would strike at the age of 70 some even 90. But others, saw it fit to give up being a Dreamer and let someone else carry the burden.”

Your mind wanders off to the Nurturing Center, to that one crying baby. “Dreamer Na but you've only been a dreamer for 4 years.” You pause and look at him. “Why are you giving all this to me?"

Jaemin bites his lip looking away from you. After all that's happened in the accounts of him being a dreamer, he doesn't want to be the one carrying all of this nonsense. Life made no sense. "I'm not strong enough."

"And who decided that?" You question, causing Jaemin to look back at you with a strange look. "Dreamer Na. The communities can benefit from your knowledge too."

"It's not that simple. I don't possess all that courage. I get angry easily and I give in too easily. Those in power have driven me insane. Giving them one innocent dreamscape has them slowly turning it into a burden. It only takes one person to ruin the good in something so beautiful."

"And you think I am?"

He breathes in turning to you. “I’ll be truthful with you, seeing you yesterday, as my replacer, really pissed me off because… you looked like a mindless robot, like someone who'll put up with their crap. It seems like I’m wrong, you're more strong then me. I mean, the fact that you're back after yesterday shows that you have patience.” Jaemin leans his back on the tree. “Being a Dreamer is not just carrying the memories. It’s having wisdom and knowledge of seeing far beyond to protect the interests of the community. And not allow the community to take advantage of you and cause a downfall. I feel like I've sent the community in that path, and I want to rectify it before it's too late. And so far, you’re on the right path but you don’t seem to understand what’s so bad about releasing all this to the public. We’d need to work on that, but otherwise I'm confident that you, once I’m done giving you all the dreamscapes, all the memories that I poses, you’ll be the Official Neorists Elder Dreamer of all the communities and then you can see the corrupt power and change it.”

“And what about you?” You question.

“I want to be released.” He admits. “I can’t keep living in this life, with only dreams and no sense of purpose. I don’t want to be in a box anymore.”

Your ears are sharp in catching the things he’s saying. Yes you thought of him as the enemy, but hearing how he wants to be released it’s… not something you wish- especially if he can also help you to give the communities all these dreamscapes. “You’ve said, so many words that I couldn’t understand… So many words I don’t know, so many things I could hardly process, but in everything you’ve said, you’ve shown me so far a mindset that's trapped.” His head slowly turns to you, looking into your eyes. You look to the side, the people, the area, the sun, the air, life… “Dreamer do they look like they’re trapped? If the world was like this… I want to bring it back. Not be… trapped. I want to wake up and make choices for myself not follow a routine schedule. I want to drive in a car, feel the weather, eat whatever those kids are eating.” You try to think of words to describe this feeling bubbling inside of you… “This dreamscape should be something joyous not burdening, hearing that you want to be released is something my conscious can’t square up. I admit I didn’t like you yesterday, but today I want you to be part of the new world we as dreamers can show to the community. I don’t know anything, but from this little, my whole heart just wants to be free.”

Jaemin is completely awestruck in wonder by everything you’ve just said. You called him weak in 3 different tones.

“So, Dreamer Jaemin, I want to learn, teach me, show me more. Show me the way.” Your iris, Jaemin can see the color of your soul. A burning flame, a little flame that has been lit and will soon turn into a blazing fire- raging against everything in its way. Your unhinged soul that just breaks free and wants more. He can see your heart and eager desire to just break that box. He can see how you look like you’re so ready to get out of this box.

And he has to admit, he's kind of wishing he didn't give up so easily.

“Modern Day Terminology Of Slang.” You read out as you sit on the side of your bed. Opening up the cover of your book, you begin to read out in privilege to have all the knowledge of the world. After Jaemin brought you back to reality, he took you back to his headquarter whereby he gave you a book to read. He asked you to be equipped in your language and speech. As you learn new words, you will be able to use them and understand them.

You were ready to learn. You were ready to do whatever it would take, to break free from the ignorance that you were put in.

Your eyebrows knit in confusion when you hear a soft wailing sound. A cry. You tilt your head to the door and see footsteps flicker underneath your door and out of sight. That’s Chenle walking. You get up as well following the sounds of the cry that get louder when you open up your bedroom door.

“Wow, is that a year 1!” Chenle marvels.

“I’m sorry Taeyong, but I tried everything I could.” Getting down the steps you see a nurse holding up a little carriage with a wailing baby inside standing by the door. “But no matter what I do, he keeps crying. Plus you said you’d look after him.”

“Hey there,” Taeyong says softly before running his hand down the baby’s face, and the baby coo’s lightly. “Are all his things inside?”

“Yes.” The nurse hums. “I apologize for the inconvenience.”

“I accept your apology. Thank you.” Taeyong says, as he bids a light smile to his coworker and then shutting the door.

Your eyes glance at the baby. “Is that Jisung?”

“How do you know the child’s name?” Your mother Seulgi looks to you before facing Taeyong. “The poor baby crying on his first year? That’s sad.”

“Unusual too.” Taeyong hums as he brings the hand held cubic carriage to the living room. “Y/n met Jisung the other day at the nursing center. He cried there too.”

“You want to keep this baby?” Seulgi stares into Taeyong’s eyes with worry and concern, and that alarms Taeyong.

“Would you like to issue me a warning? I assure you, that he’s not trouble when he’s quiet. It’s just for a little while. Till the little guy catches up.”

Drawing closer to the baby, as Chenle yaps on about how the baby is cute and how the baby should sleep in his room, your eyes remain on Jisung’s hands. You only see it a little, but it’s enough to tell you that you have the same mark as him. Your eyes widen slightly as you lean in close to him, while your father pats his head.

“If the elders agree, then he can sleep in your room.” Your mother says to Chenle.

“Attention. Please stand by for dinner.” Your eyes drone out the robotic voice announcing dinner time, your full attention on the little baby who’s quiet underneath your father’s touch. You almost don’t need to see his birthmark to know, you can feel it. After everything that Jaemin said today, there is no doubt in your mind, that Jisung too, one day, he’ll be selected to be a Dreamer… until then you have to make sure to keep the dreamscape and it’s memories alive, so that you can transmit it to everyone.

Getting to the dining table, you remove the lid of the tray and begin eating just as everyone does, in silence. A while later, your father begins the conversation by asking everyone about their feelings for the day, asking to go last so that he can share some good news.

“So how was it?” Your mother curiously asks peeking at you after sharing her own feelings. “What feelings can you share with us tonight?”

You finish chewing your vegetables and nod your head. “It was good. I felt happy.”

“That’s a relief.” She smiles, causing you to smile as well. Yesterday night was a rough night for everyone. Tension so high. However tonight, it’s peaceful. With baby Jisung sleeping in his carriage, Chenle eating loudly, your mother Seulgi being back despite not being here in the morning, and your father Taeyong with a good news announcement to make.

“What did you do?” Taeyong asks.

Your eyes instantly recall Jaemin’s smile. He’s got such a striking smile. It’s a shame he doesn’t smile often. It’s a shame he wants to be released. “We just talked.”

“What else?” This time Chenle asks, also in wonder of what his big sister does.

Your eyes snap out of Jaemin’s sad smile as you meekly glance at Chenle with a timid smile. “That’s it.”

“You seem different today.” Seulgi notes.

“How so?” You ask and look at her.

“You’re smiling, and you’re not complaining about your trainer.”

You smile and look to your food again. “Well things changed. He’s not so bad of a guy. Not like the way I painted him out to be.”

“I’m happy to hear that.” Your mother Seulgi is peaceful by your statement. After last night and her taking the punishment for you, she wasn’t prepared to go back to that… place of isolation. “That leaves you my husband,” Seulgi smiles softly in the direction of Taeyong. “What is the big news you want to share with us, and how are you feeling?”

“Well,” Taeyong wipes off his hands once he’s done eating and placing his tray in the center. A wide grin grows on his face. “I have been promoted to being the Director of The Givers in the nursing center.”

“Amazing.”

“Wow.”

Everyone on the table cheers on in joy for your father. “Thank you, family. I’ll now be in control of the father givers and birth mothers. My tasks include tracking, reporting and documenting the procedures of the mating process. Submitting report backs to other communities and receiving information for the delivery room.”

“Well done my husband, you are now of high esteem in society.” Your mother proudly acknowledges your father.

“I can’t wait to grow up.” Chenle cheers on. “I want an awesome job like you all.”

After dinner, you get in your room and read on a few more chapter not even noticing that the time has gone past your sleep time. You enjoy reading so much, finding the book so interesting, filled with words you don’t know but yet provide a definition to those words. It’s almost like a dictionary, but this time with words not on the normal dictionary. Hours pass, and you’re surprised when a yawn leaves your mouth. Immediately you glance at the clock seeing it’s way past your bed time. It’s 11 p.m. You shut your book after reading one last passage, before you ‘dive’ on the bed… a slang term you just learnt. Before you can inject yourself to sleep, you find yourself slowly drifting off… by yourself.

And… it feels strange. It’s like you’re spiraling round and round in a trance, just like the one Jaemin does when he’s about to show you a dreamscape. You get surprised, when you find yourself opening up your eyes to a scenery so familiar… the green field. However this time, you’re all alone on it surrounded by large oak trees and flowers of different shapes and sizes and even colors- you especially like the red flowers… roses.

Your body is suddenly awakened when you hear a knock on your door. It’s already morning. Did you just… have a dream?

You’re greeted by your father who gifts you a box. “On the third day of your new work, all 20’s receive this. It’s known as an alarm clock. If you set it up it’ll ring in the morning, and it’ll wake you up. Instead of me always waking you up.”

You smile bringing out your new gift. You try to examine it’s color… but all you get is white and grey. The color is not yet unlocked. You get ready and dress up in white socks and the long sleeved black dress that ends above your knees.

“Jeno!” You greet happily upon leaving your house. “It’s been forever since I last saw you,”

“Precision of language.” Jeno snickers. “Forever hasn’t even yet happened. I think you mean, it’s been 1 day without me.”

“Oh,” The slangs you learnt last night, are rubbing off on you. Feeling embarrassed a little, you shake it off. “Yes.”

“Hey look, we’re almost matching.” Jeno notes to his own polo neck and your dress polo neck. Getting on your bike, you and Jeno both ride alongside each other. He tells you about his first and second day. Of course all the nurses love him and he is carrying out his duties well. “What about you? How has being a dreamer been so far?”

You’re reminded that you can’t share anything about your training, but that doesn’t stop you from telling Jeno little things. “At first I considered my Dreamer trainer to be a bit of a handful,”

Jeno peeks at you, bringing out his hand. “Did you just say h-handful? Precision of language.”

You giggle. “Trust me Jeno, there’s going to be so much precision of language with me.”

“Glad you’re enjoying yourself. So what does it mean?”

“It means he was obnoxious.” You deeply inhale and exhale. “But yesterday, we got on well. I can’t wait to see what we’ll do today.”

“That’s good.” Jeno smiles. “Did you hear about the new serum injection that we’ll start taking?”

“No.” You shake your head. “I’m not allowed to take serum injections anymore, only my sleep injection.”

“Oh.” Jeno looks to you with wide eyes. “Well this serum injection is said to be made by the president himself.”

“Oh. Interesting.” you think to what Jaemin said about those in power. And so when arriving, you’re met with Jaemin eating his breakfast. You make your way in brightly greeting him as you sit on the long couch and read your book. Jaemin puts his tray away before going to dress up. Jaemin must admit, he thought you’d be annoying, but your presence in his house does him some good. He puts on his usual clothes before heading back upstairs. Upon arriving, you ready yourself to learn and receive something new.

“Today, I’m going to touch you a bit differently.” Jaemin says rubbing hands together before stretching them. “You showed a passion for learning yesterday, and I thought about your lessons very thoroughly. I made a timeline of what I’d like to teach you, what you should know and everything else in between. This training will involve a lot of studying from your end. I’ll be giving you a book every week, so try your best to read fast. If the books are bit bigger you’ll get two or three weeks to read. Our lessons will be divided in two. First half will be transferring of memories, and second half will be discussion and theory.” Jaemin gives you a brief of everything you will be doing for the next coming of days, weeks and months.

“I can’t wait,” You eagerly smile nodding your head.

“Alright, so let’s start with today’s lesson.” He claps his hands getting up from his seat. “For this to work, I’ll need your whole body to be attentive to me. Do you think you can do that?”

“How?” You ask.

“Lay your back on the couch, and your head on the armrest. Pretend like you’re lying on your bed.” You nod your head and follow his words. Removing your shoes remaining in your socks, you lean back and lay on the couch. Your head over the armrest and body firmly straight over the couch. You place your arms over your stomach and watch him draw near to your head. Watching his face upside down, he tells you to relax before placing his palms over the sides of your head, giving you a dreamscape.

That’s how the days’ progress.

With you coming in every single day and resting on the couch as he touches you to make you enter the dreamscape. When it’s over, you go back home and read the book he gives. Before repeating the cycle. It’s never a dull moment with Jaemin. With his type of power, every day truly feels brand new. You enjoy so much that at times you prefer to stay longer with him, just to have him touch your hands or even head as he gives you astonishing dreamscapes and memories.

Your mind enjoys spiraling into the dreamscapes, into a whole new world, whereby you’d see things for the first time and tell him what they are. At some point, Jaemin joins in the dreamscapes with you in order to give you a better understanding, and honestly, you slowly but surely like it when he joins in with you. He’s not such a bad person after all. He’s very considerate. The first time you met him, he wasn’t so compliant with you, but now it’s almost like he’s a different person. He allows you to talk to him, ask him questions and to just be… free around him.

“And you're telling me you're not strong enough?”

"I'm not."

You shake your head. "Give yourself some credit, you're a lot better at living life then me. You know what is means to be free." He simply smiles… A smile that you like seeing on his face.

Together with Jaemin, you enter dreamscapes and he dares you to perform the stunts of bungee jumping, swimming in cold waters- he teaches you how to eat different types of food and… live freely in the dreamscape. You see sights and sounds that you have no words to describe. Different countries, continents, cities- places outside of the community.

You look at him. “You should really take your own advice, have faith, believe, live. How better would it be if everyone in the community really were just in authentic commune with one another? Had their own individual thoughts,”

Jaemin tilts his head looking at you. “You really want the community to live like that?”

“Don’t you?” You question.

“Knowing what I know, it’d be hard for the community to ever reach the height of all these feelings.”

Paired together with Jaemin’s teachings, you always want to be captivated by him and everything he knows. Traversing the dreamscape together only made you feel so alive. Various of people, with interesting looks and features, cultures and heritage. People living in various parts of the world, separated by waters so deep and large all around.

With every dreamscape you awaken as if you’re thirsty for more. “What was that? They were two of those children who looked the same,” Your eyes glisten and sparkle as you ask curiously.

“Twins.” Jaemin sits on the headrest, his hands on your head. “Born identical, but each have their own soul. Just like you and me.” He smiles whenever you’re fascinated. You especially like it, when you ask a question that’s so good that he taps your nose. “Good question. Here in the community, they find twins a bit… eerie. So they’ll release it, they release the one that’s not heavy.”

Every day, there’s a new dreamscape, a new wonder to marvel at. You get excited, when he begins working with your ears to hear what the previous world sounded like. Music. “Listen.” He’d say after allowing you to enter a dreamscape whereby all you could hear was sound- singing, melody, lovely words and voices that would bring you to tears. You got lost, the good kind of lost when hearing all these performances.

Concerts, operas, performances, theatricals- sounds so powerful that they captured your heart. Symphonies and lullaby’s, the old and young singing together- even dancing.

Dancing, attending places with you… Holding you close to him. Your heart has never felt this much content before. Was all this really forbidden? You don’t know what to think, what to believe. All this was once reality… how could it all just stay in a dream? “Don’t accept what is the truth, just because it’s coming from someone you respect, you need to think with your own head, your own heart, your own spirit and soul. Set it ablaze and don’t let that fire in you die.”

Other times he’ll sit on the couch and hold your hands, allowing you to feel and touch things you’ve never even known. Weirdly shaped creatures panting and walking on all fours- dogs and cats and some ‘pets’ that he says aren’t even pets such as squirrels, rabbits, and snakes. He gives you the feeling of touching and holding things. Your hands can’t get enough. It’s on days that he holds your hands, and you hold onto his a little bit more tighter wanting to feel every inch… Something in you shifts the moment you stop taking your sleep injections… You begin to dream… Dreaming is the best part of the night, especially when he’s also in your dreams.

Getting to work, at times you’d look at him a little bit longer, a little bit softer when he spoke. In response he’d playfully smile or tap your cheek telling you to focus. “I saw you in my dream again,”

He smiles. “Oh yeah, what was I doing there?”

“I don’t know.” You tilt your head smiling softly.

“You know, sometimes the dreams can reveal to you, your own memories.” After getting lost in your eyes for a bit, he’d slowly bring it back to the lesson. “Memories are not just about the past, they determine our future. You can change things, you can make things better. Like last time we spoke about lady period pains, but now with pills, no lady experiences that.”

“Yeah, but at the cost of losing something else.” You say focusing back on the lesson.

It’s life to the fullest. Not what the community has. It’s life, but it’s complete. Jaemin even shows you things… that make you blush. Couples kissing, making out… Even in your own dreams you get pushed into seeing more. You never hide anything from Jaemin and tell him your dreams… minus the fact that other times he’s the one to kiss you.

“I just don’t understand, what’s so dangerous about a couple of people who admire each other?” You ask.

He nods his head. “The word you’re looking for is love. Let me give you an exercise, ask your parents if they love you, and you’ll hear their response. Hopefully you’ll see why it’s considered forbidden.”

At the table with your parents you’d pop up the things that Jaemin would ask you to do. And of course your heart damages when releasing how badly the community has been brainwashed. “Precision of language dear. You mean, do we enjoy you. Love is meaningless. A word that is meaningless.” It’s what your mother said.

“Why would they remove that?” You enter into the Dream headquarters with your question being a greeting. “Why would they remove love?” You question going down the steps rapidly while telling him what your mother said. “That actually hurt… But after what you showed me, about love being… this… this…” You huff. “Jaemin, wouldn't you be so…so… So happy if someone just told you that they loved you?"

He chuckles a little. "I'd be at a loss of words too."

"So tell me, why did they remove love?” Jaemin’s eating his breakfast, but still addresses.

His response. “Because love is complicated and brings out either the best or worst in people. Love can bring upliftment of emotions, as well as heavy jealousy. Some acts of love bring out the best in people to be the best version of themselves, while other types of love is toxic and only keeps people stagnated and feeling lonely feelings. But, don’t think about that now, let’s just live in the dreamscape. You’ll see everything has it’s ups as well as downs and ways to be solved.” His eyes too, you could feel that he could sense something forming between the both of you. But with the months already spent together you try not to get distracted by your feelings. Your parents are more than happy when seeing you smile. From time to time you meet Jeno… and for a little bit, you’re able to distinguish his feelings and thoughts without him having to say anything.

He likes you. But you can’t reciprocate that because… you think you’ve fallen for someone else. Someone who’s held your hands and made you experience things you’ve never experienced before.

“I touched it… picked it up.” You try to explain what you held. “It was shining every time the sun shined on it. Hard and see through, it’s a…”

“A seashell,” Jaemin helps you out and you agree with the word remaining in your brain forever.

On some days, Jaemin will sit on the edge closer to your feet where he’ll hold your legs- tickling you and even massaging you, but in the manner of showing you a dreamscape concerning legs. Each dreamscape being different and so surreal. People mixing together, walking such long distances, sliding down zip lines, jumping off places with protection, dining in the sky, running and doing all sorts of activities, the list goes on. It never ends. The dreamscape is so infinitely vast that you can’t believe it sometimes.

“Dreamer Na,”

“Why don’t you just call me Jaemin?”

“I call you Dreamer, when I want to persuade you.” You giggle as he furrows his brows. “I’m feeling giddy. I want to see people my age, do things, please show me something,”

Once, Jaemin had showed you what it's like to attend a college party, in allowing you to learn about how reckless the youth were known to have been back in the past. Of course the start of the party was peaceful, with only a few people, you and Jaemin drinking cold drink and dancing together, before it turned a little wild when more people kept pouring in. Cold drink was turned to alcohol, Christmas music was turned to grinding music, dance floors were made, some kissing in the corner, others disappearing in rooms to do 'the deeds' as Jaemin would say.

In the dreamscape he remembers how he had to take you to the bathroom to freshen up - he wanted you to have the college experience, and to say that you did was an understatement, you were literally still a youth so Jaemin understood. But after helping you drink some water, he walked you back out only for you to stop by the top of the staircase…

Maybe that's where his feelings for your evolved. You turned around, your eyes still sparkling from being tipsy. His one hand held your waist supporting you, while his other hand slowly cupped your neck.

"What's wrong? Do you feel like puking?" Concern all over his face trying to make sure you were okay. Because he'd hate to bring you to reality and you couldn't even stand without feeling dizzy and wanting to puke.

Nonetheless, you didn't even mind that. Your mind, body and soul were preoccupied. Your body felt hot. Your mind wanted something… your soul tried to reach his through your eyes. You looked down at his lips before back up into his deep brown eyes, you could only shake your head as you leaned closer, your own hands getting used to the feel of his waist. Your eyes glanced once at the ceiling, hoping he'd get the memo. And he did.

A mistletoe.

A light chuckle came upon his face as he saw the green and red decoration hanging over the ceiling. "What does that mean again?" you had asked feeling your face getting on fire just from seeing his profile. He looked back down at you, leaning close to your ear: "Let's get you back before we accidentally overdose on this memory,"

And then just like that, the dreamscape finished. And like a side effect, in real life you were still tipsy. Jaemin laughed at you but still took you to your dwelling. He advised your parents to just give you water and let you sleep.

“How about today, I show you mother nature,”

“Who’s that?”

He grins. “Give me your hands, she’s really beautiful.” He jokes but shows you signs of wonder, such as; water that glows like fire known as lava, you even see creatures that once existed such as dinosaurs, birds with big wings! Fields of ice, water so cold that it freezes, animals such as polar bears, fish and many more all twirl in the sea. Night skies that are filled with so many dancing colors. Colors! Colors that fill up your every vision in amazement. He takes you up mountains that take days to climb but feel so satisfying when you’re done and at the climb and look out to the view being in awe of the world.

The outside world is huge, and every day is not the same, as Jaemin has you hooked and riling you into a world of pure imagination that was once reality.

After every dreamscape, you sit and talk with him. Mostly you talking in joy and heaps of excitement and him, listening and adding in. “It was water and sand tingling at the soles of my feet,” You smile as you describe to him, exploring new words.

“The beach was always known for that,” He says nodding his head. “Let me show you, a waterfall,”

On regular days, he’s simply giving you the adventurous dreams and asking for a description of what you see. On most days, he’s teaching you of history. “It was believed that they came before us,”

“Monkey’s came before us?”

“You know, when these living things, these animals were around, they were a lot like us. Only difference is that they had fur and spoke in animal way, and they also knew they’re parents.”

Parents. It’s when you also learnt the twisted truth of what father givers and birth mothers actually were. They weren’t people in love, they weren’t even a couple. They’d put medication and sleep with each other, to produce children. You were devastated, you still are surprised. To think that the people you’re living with aren’t even your real parents, but parents that the community has given you in order to not feel like you didn’t have parents- and also for the parents to not lament that they don’t have kids. In order for the community not to be siblings, birthmothers and father givers were changed frequently, so that the crime of ‘incest’ a new word you learnt would not begin. That was only a small little portion of the pain that Jaemin would show you. Once in a while… when he did show pain, you weren’t able to handle it…

“I cannot prepare you for what you’ll see. But I promise you, it isn’t real.” He’d say before holding your hands tighter.

Thieves. Liars. Crimes committed. They started out as little white lies, before it turned bitter- accusing someone falsely and the person going to ‘jail’ for a really long time. Other people who did not have enough, would steal from those that had. Stealing things that were valuable and destroying trust. Jaemin only showed you those little things… but in you… you felt so bad. If the people of the past had enough, or if they only told the truth…

Other times, Jaemin would show you… poachers. Attacking down animals and stealing their skins, horns and meat… “Jaemin I can’t…” You said with tears in your eyes… “The poor animals…”

Jaemin immediately after his few attempts to show you the pain, stating that you weren’t ready. And he slowly eased back into showing you good memories. Although you preffered the good memories better you often wondered how many more of those depressing burdened memories did Jaemin have…

“I saw something, at the foot of the mountain just now.” You sit up and try to explain to Jaemin what you saw… “It was like a place… a dwelling,”

“Home.” Jaemin nods his head taking a seat back on his couch. “It’s different from a dwelling. A dwelling is not a home. A home is more. Its family soaked nuzzled up together and soaking up each other’s awesomeness.” He smiles warmly. “But all jokes aside, a home is a very safe space to be, it’s where you can rest and get away from all your stresses and worries. Most importantly it has a bed. A warm one. In my case, it’s that couch you’re sitting on. I don’t know how to describe it, a home…”

He shows you soft visions of things to calm you down. Camping at night with bonfires, while someone played guitar in the backgrounds. “If the fire wood ran out, would we need to use the guitar?” Other questions, you asked for comic relief, and thank goodness Jaemin would laugh.

He told you that in the next year, he’d begin to show you the pain. Until then, you’d ‘fall in love’ with what he showed you now. He smiles a lot during lessons, especially with stories he’s really interested in. You can’t get enough of him, enough of everything he has shown you. Although you remind yourself of the importance of inheriting the dreamscapes in order to be the next Dreamer…another part of you just wants to be forever with Jaemin.

“Do you still want to be released?” You ask to Jaemin when he walks with you back to your dwelling. “After showing me everything?”

Jaemin sighs out. “Yes.”

“Please don’t.” You shake your head. “Just… stay with me a little longer. Jaemin I can’t do a lot on my own. I still need you to show me a lot.”

He smiles gently looking down at you, he pats your head. “It’s why I’m still here,”

The unlocked colors begin to make an entry into your eyes and after some time, you can actually describe and see Jaemin in color. Plus you notice that the community around is in pastel colors, every house hold has their own color. Your family is a light shade of yellow and white, Jeno’s family is peach and white. Colors all light and almost white, monochrome colors is what Jaemin calls it. From time to time when coming back to the reality after leaving the dreamscape, you get disappointed with how much the Dreamers took away.

The one thing you really enjoyed doing after work, was looking at the sky. Laying on the artificial grass looking up to the sky seeing the clouds swirl around the sun in a pattern, in a design, in color. Your vision is soon cut short when a head pops into your view. You blink several times seeing Jeno. “Hey Jeno,”

“Hey? Don't you mean good afternoon? Have you fallen down?” He questions with amusement. “Do you need immediate assistance?”

You chuckle lightly getting up on your own. “I was just looking at the sky,”

Jeno nods his head and looks up too before his gaze gets back to you again. “Yes, because it’s totally normal to be laying on the grass and looking up to the sky.” Jeno says out sarcastically making himself laugh. “Months ago, I’d say you’ve gone crazy, but now I guess it’s really happening. You’re becoming the dreamer” He breathes out. “You’re seeing things. What’s it like?” He asks. “I know you’re not allowed to share your teachings, but come on, even a little ‘sneak peek’?” Jeno uses the word you once taught him.

“Jeno you should be heading to your dwelling.” You laugh a little.

“I saw you and just wanted to…” He scratches the back of his neck. “See you.”

“Okay,” You nod your head after looking at him for a while with a smile.

“So, are you gonna tell me another sneak peak?”

You breathe in tilting you head. “Give me your hands. I want to try something.”

“My hands?” Jeno questions, but still lifts up his hands nervously placing them over yours. You hold them tightly and closing your eyes as you focus on the sky. “Look up, and tell me what you see?”

“Uhm. Okay.” Jeno looks up and squints his eyes. “Nothing really,”

“Come on,” You urge him with a playful smile. “Concentrate.”

Meanwhile as you try to urge Jeno to see something, in the surveillance room, the workers are shocked at your contact. They write out an issue of warning, before dating it and sending a call to their supervisor. Haechan who’s getting off his drone piloting around the community walks past the surveillance footage room and furrows his eyes when seeing his supervisor watching a camera footage of… you and Jeno. He lingers around for a bit, wondering what would happen in this situation.

So far, with the months of training that he has had, he’s learnt that being a pilot and watching over the community is hard work and pressuring. As his eyes were literally the helping eyes of the President. Him along with everyone working in the surveillance room who would fly little drones around the communities and 'hide' information about the President's law breaking. Haechan clocks out and begins riding his bicycle to the place where the footage captured you and Jeno. And strangely, you and Jeno are seated on the ground. He draws closer to you guys in hopes that the surveillance guys don't call in the president. “Hey,”

You and Jeno peer up and instantly your smiles light up your eyes. “Hey!” You then turn to Jeno. “How come you want me to say ‘good afternoon’, but you let Haechan pass with a ‘hey’?” You jokingly ask, causing Jeno to snicker.

“That is because you’re the dreamer.” Jeno responds.

“It’s been so long since I’ve actually seen you, Y/n” Haechan announces his presence again, getting your eyes to look at him. He smiles when getting closer to you and Jeno. “You look healthy.” Is his way of saying he missed you. “Why haven’t you guys gone to your dwellings? And why are you sitting on the grass?” He asks.

You and Jeno both look to each other before you speak out with a smile. “I convinced Jeno to stay a while before we go back to our dwelling.”

“Yeah, and I’m filling her in on how my work life is going, since she’s not allowed to tell me about hers.” Jeno fills on. Following onto Jaemin’s rules, a lot of the times you simply went ‘home’ from your trainings and you never conversed much with Jeno or Haechan. As they were both scarce sometimes. But really once in a while, you tried to make an effort. “Come join us, and then you can tell Y/n how your training has been.” you par the ground next to you.

“How about I show you," He looks to the ground weirdly before nudging his head.

Following Haechan, you and Jeno are brought to the surveillance tower headquarters. It’s shaped like a dome. “Wow, Haechan.” You look around the high view of almost the entire community, seeing the symmetric and robotic patterns of shape and platforms all being the same. It’s either houses are in squares or rectangles, grass outside is also in either squares or rectangle spaces. It can’t even compare to the things Jaemin has showed you. “This is quite a view, you’ve got here.” You say. One day, you’re hoping that they’ll get to see what you’ve seen.

“You should see me when I’m high up in the sky in my drone,” Haechan shows off in your direction. Having not seen you for a long time, he actually missed your feminine presence between him and Jeno. Your voice and the way you showed interest always made him feel one way. “When I’m flying, looking down on everything, it’s like I’m seeing things for the first time.”

You look to him and nod your head. “I can relate,”

“Really?” He chortles. “Thought you said that you and the Dreamer only sit and talk.”

“We do.” You simply nod your head, not giving him any more information.

“Well in anyway, I’m allowed to fly past the mist, and sometimes even into other communities.” Haechan shows off in a playful tone. “I even get to go to elsewhere and past the edge.”

“The edge,” That peeks your interest. “Really? What’s it like?”

“For one, it’s really dry lands and like… a downslope.” Haechan explains but Jeno scoffs.

“A down slope? Lying isn’t good Haechan.”

“I don’t know how to explain it, but I’m telling the truth. It’s like the earth tilts downwards going down a rocky path.”

While Haechan explains it more, Jeno continues to doubt, but you nod your head knowing he’s talking about a mountain. Jaemin mentioned that the communities are up over hills, built on level headed ground that makes everything flat. “So many secrets,” You whisper.

“Secrets?” Haechan leans back over the view and looks at you. “You’re the one with secrets,”

“I really don’t have any,” You tell. It’s not a lie, but it’s also not true. The only secrets are your trainings.

“I guess that means I really am the only one with interesting training,” Haechan jokes. He continues to explain all that he has seen and you want to so desperately let your friends know of the world beyond.

“You said you work closely with the president?” You question.

Haechan nods his head, trying to not let out anything. Aside from you, his rules also allowed him to lie. “He calls on specific units. My unit is in charge patrolling. So I get morning and night duty. On days that I’m on night duty he’ll ask that I make sure that… everyone is inside their dwellings as I help him… distribute things in all communities.” Haechan subtly lies and nods his head as you hum. “So, in three years’ time they’ll chose our partners Jeno. Who do you think you’ll get paired up with?” he tries to change the topic.

The question has you immediately thinking of Jaemin. Next year he’d be a 25 which meant he was permitted to have a wife. You slouch a little, not wanting him to have someone else. After getting to know him for so long, you think you’ve fallen for him. However, in the mist of you thinking about him, you can’t see the eyes that fall on you. Not only from Jeno, but from Haechan too.

Being a 20 with them, meant that you’d also be partnered up in their age group. The only problem, is that this partnering up was not made out of a love connection, but more of a strengths connection. Every partner has to be compatible with each other, and it’s up to the Neorists to decide, not you. It’s how they make ‘parenting’ work out. Being so deep in thought, you quickly snap out and glance at your two friends only to be surprised at the stare down they’re having with each other.

“I hope I get you.” Haechan says to you. “I think we’re very compatible.”

“It’s clear that the Neorists will pick me. We’ve spent a great amount of time together.” Jeno says with a smile. Looking between them, you can’t tell if… a weird feeling of jealousy is being underlined. But to stop it, your eyes land on the piles of trays in the middle.

“Alright boys, we’ll reach that topic when we get to that age. Come on,” You get off the ledge and walk over to the tray. “Take one tray, and I’ll show you something of my training.” In order to distract them from having a heavy stare down.

Jeno takes the tray and so does Haechan, however when you direct them to the staircase. “This isn’t part of my training, but it’s something really cool,” Watching you take the tray, Haechan is reminded yet again of how he saw his supervisors giving you a warning. So watching you walking with the tray on your hands and Jeno following, Haechan only folds his arms watching. “Come on Haechan,”

“These trays are the ones being distributed to your dwellings when it’s dinner time. You can’t play around with them,” Haechan says.

You scoff. “So you’re not interested in my training?”

“No it’s cool. I’ll stick to watching.” And it’s a good thing he does, because you move towards the long flight of staircase that’s located on the side of the dome. On the wide stairs, there’s a moving staircase, and on the center there’s a non-moving staircase. You tell Jeno to follow your move as you sit on the tray gaining a few stares from those climbing the steps. Jeno follows you, slightly laughing finding everything amusing. “Guys you shouldn’t be doing that.”

“Oh come on Haehcan, since when did you become boring?” Jeno playfully questions…

Haechan scoffs. “I happen to like my job and I’m not about to do some stunt to get me punished. So, I’ll see you guys later.”

He walks off, but to you and Jeno you notice that something different is happening to him. “He’s acting weird,” Jeno starts before shrugging his shoulders. “But whatever it is, let’s just continue. So what are we doing now?”

“Alright,” Your smile gets back on your face… even though you sensed something odd. You’d have to tell Jaemin. “On my count, you’re going to lean forward while holding onto the tray. Don’t let go under any circumstances.”

“Uhm, okay.” Jeno is unsure about that but trusts your every move. “Aren’t we going to get hurt though?”

“Nope.” You shake your head positioning yourself to sit nicely on the tray. “1, 2, 3- GO!”

Sucking in a heavy breath- Jeno’s eyes rapidly enlarge as his body leans forwards instantly allowing the tray to throttle down the steps in a quick manner that has him speeding! You giggle and laugh when recreating the feeling of being on the roller-coaster, even a sledge. Jaemin mentioned that roller-coasters were gravity defined for people who loved high speed and wind and wanted a little thriller in their lives. So as Jeno rides the tray he feels so much… sensation overflowing through his body. It feels exactly like the wind bashing on his face. The ride is filled with energetic squeals from you and thrilled laughter from Jeno, it doesn’t even matter to both of you that you’re getting odd looks from the people wither going up or down the steps. The fun soon ends when you see the ground coming-you brace yourself by placing your feet on the edge to land- but just as you stop, Jeno behind you is not to lucky and bumps into you at a rough crashing speed causing you both to fall and laugh out.

You laugh so hard as Jeno is still in so many emotions from surprised to astonishment- you help him up by offering your hand. He looks at it chuckling from the ride, before taking it and you assist him up. “So this is the pain that they were talking about?”

“Not even close.” You shake your head looking into his eyes. You feel to let go of Jeno’s hands… however he gets reluctant in not letting you go just yet.

“That was fun.” He says. “Show me more,”

Not a moment later, Johnny’s holographic figure finally notices Jaemin who enters the Surveillance room.

“Good afternoon, Dreamer Na.” Johnny greets. “We had an issue to go over with you, however you’ve arrived implacably at the right time. Would you care to tell me what’s this?” Jaemin not bothering to greet anyone looks at the footage that they’re showing him and he sees your face together with another guy. You haven’t gone to your dwelling yet. Aside from that, Jaemin notices how you’re both holding hands and laughing. “You say I've been careless but here, a moment ago, she was seen demonstrating odd behavior, by holding onto a person, and sharing her training.”

“Finally. I was beginning to wonder why she hadn’t shown anyone. Don’t worry Johnny. That always happens. But it’s an impossible experience to share training.” Jaemin has a poker dry face as he peeks back to the holographic figure. He shrugs his shoulders. “The kid got curious, let her live. I don’t tell you what to do in your position, so don’t tell me. Can I go now? If this is what you called me for, I think I’m done here.”

“Need I remind you of the previous Dreamer you selected in Community 4? Have you forgotten what happened to him?” Johnny states, while some statics come up of the previous Dreamer and his life before he was released. That has Jaemin frozen in place, his nonchalant face disappearing before a serious face engraves his features. “Should I read them for you? He was supposed to be the next Dreamer, but you got him released and hurt. You not only put a setback on Community 4, but you also became a Dreamer that’s unreliable. Take for instance the last disastrous guidance you gave to overthrow having gadgets. If how you’re training this Dreamer turns out to be the same way you trained the previous one, careless and fast, we might have another failure in our hands. Am I understood, Dreamer Na?”

“That boy, that Dreamer, had a name. So use it.” Jaemin clinches his jaw, because he knows it was his fault, it was the president Johnny.

“Of course, you want to hear his name. The failure of community 4. Mark Lee.” At the mention of the young boy’s name, Jaemin gets serious and his motions stop. How could he ever forget what happened to Mark. His friend.

“Make the announcement.” Johnny squints his eyes at the screen, while you still hold onto both of Jeno’s hands talking about him being able to feel something. Jaemin watches you and listens to how you try to convince Jeno that what you did was normal. He shakes his head and turns around. What was he thinking? Allowing you to take the dreamscape and bring it to this worthless communities was such a waste. He should just die with all the dreamscape memories.

“Attention, please stand by for an announcement.” Jaemin listens to the robotic voice speak. “Members of the community are reminded to not touch anyone outside of their dwelling units. If you’ve touched someone outside of your unit please take your serum injection immediately.”

Immediately you let go of the guy which Jaemin sees to be Jeno. Jaemin stops in his stride for a bit. Before turning back to the holographical figure of President Johnny. “You know what, overthrowing gadgetry wasn’t a disastrous choice, they were one too many disadvantages for having tech gadgets. For one, it stopped crackhead like yourself from peeping in and preying on every fucking conversation that everyone had. But I guess you didn’t even follow my guidance because you let the whole community abandon gadgets and kept all gadgetry for yourself and this fucking sick room, to have full control over everything and everyone. Just to let you know, perverts would insert cameras in public bathrooms to watch people piss. Those perverts did it for their own disgusting amusement, they’d install earpieces in private areas to hear private conversations. What you’re doing now, is no different than the dickheads of the past. I just wonder why you insisted on keeping these fucking cameras and earpieces everywhere. Who’re you trying to spy on? It surely isn't for the good of the community, it's for your own sick desire.”

Jaemin spitting knowledge to the community President has some of the workers who are eavesdropping curious and instantly feeling a feeling of guilt. What is a pervert? They didn’t know the word piss- but in the context used they had a disturbing understanding. In their defense they weren’t ‘peeping’ they were monitoring… because President Johnny had told them to. Meanwhile Jaemin clinches his jaw. “One day, this will all burn in your face.”

However Johnny speaks up. "No. It will burn in your face. Don't force my hand to do what I don't want."

After a few more weeks of sharing your dreams with Jaemin and him giving you Dreamscapes, one afternoon, an hour before time goes up, you sigh while taking a seat on the edge of the steps looking at the tree in the lively lit room. “Jaemin,”

“Yes?” He walks back towards you on the staircase with two mugs of coffee. Another thing, aside from the Dreamscape, was Jaemin’s pantry of verities of different foods with all sorts of taste. It’s a miracle that he can cook by himself. He’d show you too. Little dishes. It’s a shame they took cooking away. According to Jaemin, they took it away for one of two reasons. People either couldn’t cook, and others who could would mistakenly burn the kitchen. They took several foods away because of the level of difficulties when cooking them. The cooks in the community are the machines underground. They prepare a pantry of greens. No meat, just vegetables. Taking the mug in your hand, you face him. “I feel so stupid.” You whisper out.

He chuckles as he takes a seat on the step next to you. “Why do you say that?”

“Because, it’s almost been a year, and there’s still so much I don’t know.” You peer into his eyes. He’s got the world’s prettiest eyes with long lashes. “Plus when are you going to take me on those board meetings that you get invited too across other communities?”

He smiles. He places his mug on the step above hin and leans against the wall, his body facing yours. “You want to see how I give community Neorists directions?”

“Yes, I want to see you in action,” You smile. “By the way, this new serum that everyone is taking seems a bit weird.”

“New serum. I’ve been hearing about it.” Jaemin notes. “I’m not the one making it. President Suh has put people to it. Why do you say it’s weird?”

“Well to start off, my parents don’t only take it in the morning, but they take it whenever they’ve committed a mistake or something like that.”

Jaemin’s eyebrows furrow. “That’s strange.”

“It is,” You nod your head. “My friends were acting weird the other day. Almost as if they were jealous. They were speaking about the marriage ceremony but then they made reference that they both wanted me. I thought they were being playful before, but then when looking at them… into their eyes… Jaemin, they looked really selfish and jealous. Like they wanted to claim me for themselves,” Jaemin who was once serious when listening to you, ends up breaking into little chuckles causing you to blush a little feeling self-conscious and to snap out of being serious. “Why are you laughing? Do you think I’m not worthy?”

“Oh no,” Jaemin grins staring into your eyes. “You’re so worthy of appreciation. You’re thoughtful, curious, so quick witted and sharp, you’re just… someone that’s outside of the box.” Jaemin breathes in deeply looking into your eyes. He also wants to add how you’re whole-hearted, earnest, having amazing hands… lips… body… but he catches himself as his eyes stop checking you out. “If you ask me, they’re the ones unworthy of you.”

“Really?” His light statement has you giggling. “Or are you just saying that to flatter me?” You get up and go down the steps.

“Not at all, if you want me to flatter you, just ask." Jaemin too gets up and follows behind you. Whispering in your ear, "Ask me to do anything, and I’ll gladly do it if it means flattering you.”

“You would?” You bite your lips, a cute smile brushing on your lips. “You know, I actually want to… I want…” you turn around looking at him.

“You want what?” he stops walking too.

“I want to… know you more. Is that strange to say?” You inhale and exhale deeply looking into his eyes but he shakes his head. “Next year you said you’ll show me the pain that the dreamers hold. But, I was thinking about you. Won’t it be hard on you showing me pain when you have to look for a partner?”

“Partner?” Jaemin hears the misdirection of your question. “Where’s that coming from?”

“Like I said, my friends recently brought that to my attention.” You grin nervously “But, I was just thinking about it, about your partner,”

Jaemin tilts his head to the side loving how jealous you look. It makes him laugh inwardly. “Why were you thinking of my partner?” Luckily he could choose who he wanted… But he wanted to be released. There was no one he was interested in… but that's until you came around. At that, he thinks of your friends, especially Jeno. Already some elders had began pulling names together, and yours was with Jeno. He agreed with them that it would be a good choice, but somewhere deep in him, he didn’t want you to be with Jeno. He shakes his head chuckling lightly to get rid of the thoughts. “Here, put your mug down and let’s do an exercise. Just to get your mind out of these partners. Give me your hand,”

You do as he says and put your mug down and let your hand move towards him. Instead of showing you something, he… intertwines your fingers with his in a weird way. His eyes search into yours and you can only look back at him with a smile. “What is it?”

“What do you feel right now?”

“Warmth,” You say and he nods his head spreading your your arms up and slowly leaving your hands while his slide down your figure. Your hands in the air come down over his biceps smiling.

“How about now?” There seems to be a manifestation of emotions that are heavy, thick and almost tangible.

"I can feel my heart racing," you answer. "In a good way,"

"And now?" The way Jaemin let's your waist go and smoothly gets a hold of your hands intertwining your fingers, playing with them in a smooth way before spinning you around like some sort of dance. Turning you around one last time before your back lands on his front, with his hands still spreading yours wide horizontally and playing with your fingers. You lay your head on his chest closing your eyes, hearing him whisper. "How do you feel… when looking at me?"

If it were not for the fact that he's your trainer you would have easily said what you felt, but upon opening your eyes and seeing his gaze sink into yours, you remember that this isn't a dreamscape, he's your trainer. You whisper out. "Remember that Christmas Party you showed me, I believe some months ago?" You ask lacing your fingers deeply in his, watching as they untangle before tangle back into each other. Feeling the warmth of Jaemin on your back and his arms spread out with yours has your mind racing. You’re tempted to bring his fingers to your lips, as your eyes hesitate over his lips before drawing back to his clear eyes, while you recall the dreamscape.

"Oh yes, where you got drunk?" of course, he'd remember that. He teases playfully. You drank just one and a half cups of the bitter whiskey drink before Jaemin was your guide as you turned face and joined the madness around. You danced dances you've never known, you joined in on a crowd surfing and you swear- you never wanted to wake up from this dreamscape. All the while Jaemin laughed leaning on the wall, loving you enjoy yourself. Yes, loving. But you didn't know that.

And now as he brings your arms down turning you around again, you hold onto his hands and walk backwards and until you reach the couch, his heart beating a thousand times faster, he can't help the feelings erupting all over his stomach. Maybe it's because you're also a dreamer, maybe it's why he feels this attraction to you. He's felt like this before- but only in the dreamscape, when he'd reply in his mind of himself a wet dream. But those weren’t even real. Yet right now, here with you, looking into your eyes, feeling your hands, Jaemin recognizes the feelings easily.

In the present time now, with Jaemin, that ecstatic feeling builds up in the pits of your stomach. Nothing has changed, you still want to feel his body so close to you, in the closest way possible. You don't know how he was able to keep a composed face, but right now more than anything you want him to just show… you something. Something he's feeling.

"Yes, where I got drunk."

Jaemin smiles. "Your parents were so worried,"

"Jaemin," You lightly giggle drawing closer by shifting in your seat towards him.

He snickers a little. "I remember that dreamscape."

You nod your head. "You asked me what I feel when I look at you. well right now, I feel like that, back in that dreamscape."

Jaemin can hear his heart beating a little louder. "What did you feel back then?"

Now your heart is pounding in your chest, your toes curl, hands getting hot. 'I… want you… to kiss me like there's a mistletoe in the room.' Is what your mind wants to scream out, but instead you only look at him and suck in your lips. "Happy…" You meekly respond.

Jaemin nods his head peering into your own eyes. "Can I show you what I feel?"

"Yes, please," You breathe you. Jaemin untangles your hand from his, just as he removes his leather jacket only remaining in his black shirt.

He pats his lap smiling. "Well, come and sit,"

You chuckle a little getting up from the couch. Spreading your legs over him and sliding down with both your hands on his shoulder has your beating faster. Your eyes widen when he slides his hands down your sides. Your hands seemingly know where to go around his neck. "If you're uncomfortable in anyway-"

"I like this position," you assure, your eyes over his lips.

"But still, let me know," He whispers, voice barely audible even to your ears. Your breath hitches hearing him chuckle lowly. Without a second thought, Jaemin's hands manage themselves over your thighs which are slightly exposed from the buttoned down dress you're wearing. Your breath hitches, but you don't dare pull away from him. Ever so slowly both your eyes are on his lips, anticipating what he's going to do next. And you do not expect it.

Jaemin pulls you forward, bringing you closer until you're basically sitting on his manhood. "This okay?" He asks softly, a smile playing across his lips. You nod, eyes widening even more. A blush forms on your cheeks, which causes Jaemin to smirk. "Follow my lips," his eyes darken in something you can't really give a name to other then pleasure. He brings his hands above your waist and leans forward capturing your neck in a soft kiss and lick. You moan softly, your body instinctively getting closer to him, your thighs spreading over him. He kisses up your neck, your jaws and then finally your lips.

He moans by the taste of coffee on your lips. Deepening the kiss, both of you tangling your tongues. The heat rising in your body. This isn't just any kiss, it's full of emotions you've yet to name. You're so lost in this kiss, your first kiss, that you don't even notice Jaemin slowly lowering his body side ways until he's laying flat on the couch. You're straddling him now and don't know what to do.

"I want you," You whisper in the kiss. "I want to feel you, but I don't know what to do. Show me,"

Jaemin moves his hands to the hem of your dress, slowly lifting it up, causing goosebumps to spread over your skin as he spreads your thighs some more. "I'll guide you." His words are soft, yet somehow they send chills through your entire body. Both of you lean in, deepening the kisses and moving against each other, feeling each other's touch, you move your hands under his shirt in the same manner his hands tingle over your thighs, grazing along his smooth and toned abdomen. Your fingertips brush against the skin of his torso, making his breath hitch, your heart beats fast as you continue to explore, your hands going higher.

Slowly he lifts his body up and switches positions, now with you on your back and him above you. "It's okay. Just follow my lead." You nod your head, eyes glued on the man above you. Slowly he lowers his body, pressing his lips against yours again. His hand palms your waist while the other one slides in your thigh gently brushing over your core.

You shudder in the kiss and hold onto Jaemin's biceps. He continues gently passing your core and you've never known just how good your entire body could feel. All of a sudden his hand slides away and then goes up and palms your boob so softly. "Feels good doesn't it?" He says in between the kiss, watching you in ecstacy. Leaving your lips, his lips go down to your neck while the hand that was on your waist has now taken the position inside your thigh.

Running his middle finger over the material of your underneath pressing on your bulb bump has you arching your back. "Jaemin,"

Jaemin smiles before sliding his hand out and stopping the motion of pawing your boob. You gasp out looking at him in awe.

"Is that how you feel?" You question lowly in pure need of wanting him more.

Jaemin chuckles before sitting up and bringing you up as well. He brushed his hand past your hair making it go down. "It's the actions of it, but yes. It's known as making love."

"Making love?" You smile. "What does that mean?"

"That this is sacred. Something done by two people who love each and are sure." Jaemin nods his head. "More than anything, for a really long time, I've been sure about you." Jaemin admits causing your cheeks to feel hot. "I just don't want to… rush anything. I want to really let these emotions enjoy themselves. How about you?"

You nod your head touching your lips and biting it… You want to say the forbidden words but you simply smile. "I want that too. I just hope you don't give up. Not on yourself, and not on me. And not our community. Does this mean… You'll stay?"

"I'm still here because of you," he leans into you slowly, his eyes looking over your lips. His hand comes up to your cheek and he holds it in place, before diving in for another kiss with you.

And you swear upon getting home it's all you can think about. His lips.

When eating, sharing feelings, your face gets red but your family can't see it. They can only see how ecstatic you are. “Oh, before I forget. Jeno said the President designed a medication for you.”

“For me?” You tilt your head looking at the cylinder capsule with blood red liquid content inside.

“Yes, he said you should take it before you fall asleep.” Taeyong states, recalling how Jeno walked up to him with the note and serum.

Without taking your sleep injection but drinking on the new medication, you expect to dream about what you and Jaemin did.

However, something is wrong. The dream… starts off in the dark. You’re walking on a road alone… You turn your head left and right, wondering what’s happening. Yet, you get this urge to run. A sick feeling building up in your stomach. You turn your head when seeing someone walk behind you. You walk faster, not knowing why you feel on edge and uneasy.

Walking turns to speed walking. Speed walking turns to you breathing heavily. Thankfully you make it to a crowded area. People are walking all around- but your ears are blurred out from hearing the jizz around, as you can only hear how hard you’re breathing. You turn your head, and the masked hooded guy is still following you. Speeding walking turns to running- and just as you bolt the guy is heavy on his feet chasing you down. You’re panting and trying to run fast only for him to run faster- your poor legs don’t do much when he has you! Covering your mouth holding your body tight to his- you feel so much discomfort as he pushes you against the wall, tossing you into a darker alley.

“No, stop!” You try to break free- frantically trying to get him off of you. “S-stop!” Tears blur your eyes, but the masked man is strong and pins you against the wall, one hand holding onto your wrist tightly- the other hand… “Stop!”

“Shut up.”

“N-no-” You shake your hands but he’s so strong. His other hand continuing to pull down your pants. Rapidly when he lets your hands go to undo his belt- you swing your fist backwards hitting him. He grunts as you struggle to run with your pants open. You try to pull them back up- but that has the guy jumping to you and weighing you down on the ground. You try hitting him with all your might- grabbing his clothes and fighting him- you end up pulling off his mask-

A glimpse of his face has you frozen. President Johnny?Using your frozen state, he ends up forcefully removing your shirt and in an instant his face changes and morphs into… Jaemin that’s when you snap back. “Jaemin stop please! I don’t like this!” Your trembling voice yells out, but he doesn’t listen.

You hear the belt unfasten. You see something and your rigid state doesn’t stop squirming as you beg 'Jaemin' to let you go. But he doesn’t.

The dream seems to go on forever. The whole house in deep silence as you scream out. No one budging awake because of the heavy serum injection. However Haechan, on night shift duty, in the surveillance room quickly taps on a button entering the robot poll in your room.

"President Suh. Someone is coming." Haechan lies. Meanwhile the president over your body grunts. He was just about to get to the best part.

"Who?" Not hearing an answer, President Suh leaves gets up from your bed leaving you alone and then leaves your house.

Haechan in the surveillance room gulps when watching you calm down. However in the dream world you're spared from anything bad happening, you get up and begin running again when 'Jaemin' suddenly disappears. But it only gets worse from there.

3 days. 3 days since you last came to work. Jaemin bites his lip as he stands outside your dwelling. Wondering if you’ve been avoiding work because of the last time he saw you… that kiss probably scared you off. Jaemin thought giving you time, would allow you to cool off. But 3 days? No. Something was not right. You wouldn’t miss out on 1 day of work- so why 3. He needed to know what was wrong. That’s why he’s standing outside your dwelling in the afternoon, knowing very well that your guardians will be home, knocking on the door twice.

Of course they’re confused upon opening up the door. As no such thing as ‘visiting’ was permitted or even the fact that nobody was allowed to even step foot into another persons dwelling, unless you’re the president. 6p.m. that was dinner time, however when Taeyong opens the door, and comes face to face with the blackly dressed Dreamer- his eyes enlarge. “Dreamer Good afternoon. Please come in.” He greets, almost relieved. “She hasn’t been able to handle the pain well. We were hoping you’d come sooner.”

Pain? Jaemin can only nod once in greeting. “I see. Is she able to come to the door?”

This time Jaemin’s eyes go over to a female figure. “She hasn’t left her room in 3 days. We’ve tried several times to get her to come out, but to no avail, she refuses to speak to us or even come out.”

This time Jaemin’s head is in a huge muddle. Surely the kiss couldn’t have caused you to freak out like this. There’s something else. “May I see her?”

Taeyong and Seulgi look to each other, “We’d have to ask the president because he said she should-”

“Was he here?”

“No. But he's been aware of her condition.” Seulgi immediately shakes her head before she’s the one to lead you inside while Taeyong closes the door following after the pair that go up the stairs. “This is her room.”

“Can you leave us alone?”

“Certainly.” Seulgi answers hesitantly and uncertainly. She moves back a couple of steps being intimidated by Jaemin’s cold stare. She finds herself walking towards the staircase, stopping Taeyong in his stride up and telling him to retreat. “He’s come to help her.”

However Jaemin contemplates on the things to say in his head. He tries to think of possible reasons why you’re unresponsive both to him and your parents for 3 good days. This is bigger than the kiss, something else is troubling you, especially if the President knew about it. So before he knocks he thinks of some really good dreamscapes to show you to try and cheer you up… then again, maybe you don’t resonate with his feelings that’s why you haven’t been coming.

Knock. Knock.

Silence.

Knock. Knock. “It’s me,”

The voice alone has you springing your body upwards looking to the door. Tears mount your eyes hearing your dreamers voice. A part of you wants to leap to the door and push him outside and never agree to be a dreamer again. The other part of you hopes that he can take the pain away. Because ever since that first terrifying dream, for every time you’d fall asleep- only ‘bad’ dreams would come to your mind. In one dream you were beaten so badly that when waking up you still felt sore all over. But the worst and most terrifying was almost being raped . All these dreams, happened and were inflicted to you by Jaemin… Or the president. Your mind is too muffled up to even think straight. But to think that you saw Jaemin inflicting those acts… His eyes, his hands, his body, him. You saw him.p So, no. You don’t want to see him.

“Can I come in?”

“No.” You get up carefully from your bed, noticing how badly you’re trembling. You walk to the door and quiver shaking your head. “Dreamer. I don’t think I want to be a dreamer anymore.” You say quietly while fighting the tears trying to come out.

“What do you mean?” Jaemin’s eyebrows furrow. “Can I see your face Y/n? Please. You’re scaring me.” Hoping that you’re trembling tone is just an act. The last time he heard someone tremble was the Neorist elder in charge of nurturing. Before she found out that she was pregnant, she came to Jaemin to draw up a complaint against the President. Saying that he gave her a serum and did something to her. He doesn’t like how he can hear your voice so unstable and sounding like hers. “Can I come in, please.”

You say nothing, deciding to shake your head and go back to your bed. You sink in the bed and cover your head, trying to get the terrible memories to leave your head. Jaemin stays outside of your room for a really long time, wondering why your upset. “Is this because I kissed you?”

“Dreamer please go away,”

And why do you keep calling him ‘Dreamer’? You only called him that when you wanted to persuade him. But now… hearing how you call him that, he hears distaste in your voice and even… fear. What did he do? “Y/n. Please tell me what happened?”

Silence.

The silence is so loud and it irritates Jaemin that he can’t see your face and he doesn’t know what’s wrong. His mind was breaking out wondering what the hell was going on. “If it’s not the kiss, then what is it? Why don’t you want to be a dreamer anymore? Did I…” Jaemin halts a bit… a quick thought passing in his head. “Was it a dream you had? Did us kissing give you a strange dream? Did the President give you something weird?” This time the silence that follows is actually filled with you crying again and Jaemin nods his head. It's either you had a bad dream or the president gave you something. “Can we talk about it?”

“No.” You say.

Jaemin waits outside your door hoping that you can open it up. So he leans his head on the door, softly he speaks. “I don’t know what’ going on. Or what dream you had… but I promise you, it’s all in your head. It’s not real.” He bites his lip. “It may look and feel real, but it's not. I’ve had… I still get a lot of painful dreams. If you got one, and if that’s the reason you’ve stayed away, then I understand. Take as much time as you need. I understand. Although, if you want to talk about it, you can come to me. Alright… I'll be going.” He looks to your door again. A soft yellow. That must be the color of your entire dwelling. He moves away from the door going towards the steps seeing the family down below having diner.

“Bad dreams…” He doesn’t hear the creak to your door opening, but he hears your voice, even thought you’re whispering. He instantly turns back holding onto the stair rail. His heart sinks getting a look at your bloodshot red eyes and frightful facial features. Your hair tied back but still having so many stand outs that are frizzled. “They’re called nightmares.” You can’t even look at him. Your eyes are on the floor and on the wall. “Right?”

Jaemin nods his head, being careful. What did you dream that has you so shaken up? “Right.”

You hold yourself, keeping your eyes on the floor.

“The nightmares aren’t real.” He says, watching you gulp. Your tears getting to your eyes again. “Would you like to show me what you dreamt?”

You freeze a little and shrug your shoulders avoiding his eyes. “How would I do that?” It hurts Jaemin just hearing you speak.

“The same way I do to show you the dreamscapes.” He doesn’t approach you, just in case you’re still reluctant, but he does turn towards you. “My hands, my head, my feet. Whatever you want to show me just-” His attention is snapped elsewhere when hearing… a cry. A rueful, almost awakened cry… but not from you. Which is puzzling. But a baby. He’s about to ask, but hearing footsteps marching up the stairs, Taeyong, Jaemin moves aside as Taeyong hesitantly does an awkward smile. However it completely drops when seeing your state…

Gathering the courage to look up and see your fathers face, has you storming back into your room and shutting the door hard. It makes Chenle and Seulgi downstairs jolt a little, but for Jaemin and Taeyong, they both just feel gloomy. Taeyong clears his throat, carrying on the walk to another room. Jaemin picks up the courage to walk to your room door again. He knocks on it slowly- trying to not startle you.

“Do you still want to show me?” He quietly asks. Standing behind your door, you deeply breathe in and move aside. You pull the door open but only by a crack… looking up gently into Jaemin’s eyes, you recall the nonchalant look in his features as he pulled on your clothes in the dream “What is it? What did you dream?” He asks quietly. “You’re scaring me.” He whispers, his eyes carrying so much baggage of troubles. “Some days ago we were talking and kissing… and now seeing you crying is painful for me. I don’t like seeing you like this, please. Please tell me what’s wrong,”

You move aside opening the door wider. Jaemin exhales carefully and walks into the room. Your father, already having calmed Jisung down watches Jaemin enter the room before it shuts. He takes the news back downstairs, the reminder of your tears still being fresh in his mind. “She let him in her room.”

Jaemin gets accustomed to your plain room. Study table and chair, bed, mirror and a small wardrobe. Nothing much. He sees the books that he gave you on the bed. You take a seat on the chair turning it around and moving it towards you on the bed. He sits some feet opposite you. You’re looking at your hands that’s tightly clamped together. Your knees are pressed shut. Seeing his knees, you begin shuddering again. ‘It’s wasn’t real.’ You remind yourself. In the dream, his knees… kept kneeing rubbing on your… you shake your head sucking in a sharp breath when seeing his hands come in view.

Jaemin calmly stretches out his hands towards you. “Just take my hands… and picture what is it that you dreamt.”

“P-picture it?” You inhale instantly peering into his eyes getting scared. “You want me to… picture it? Re-live it?” You shake your head rapidly. “No.” The tear drops from your eyes and you get up backing away from him. “No way.” You move to the window.

That gets Jaemin anxious. It must’ve been really bad. He waits for you to regain your composure, as you’re breathing in and out, almost hyperventilating. “Okay, just calm down.” He gets up trying to cool you down, helping you breath as you do some breathing exercises. “I’ll go get some water for you, is that cool?”

You nod your head. Jaemin quickly gets out going downstairs seeing the family still around the table eating. Chenle’s curious eyes glaze over every inch of the dreamer in black- staring profusely being in wonder if he fixed his sister. “Is she alright?” Chenle asks before Seulgi or Taeyong can reprimand him.

Jaemin hums out. “Your sister is quite frightened right now. But she’ll be fine. May I get some water?”

“Yes of course,” Taeyong gets up and heads into the kitchen-

“Tap water, if you don’t mind.” Jaemin says getting Taeyong’s attention, who furrows his brows. Community bottled water is the best water. “I don’t trust bottled water.” Jaemin declares.

“But… there’s no other place to put the water?” Taeyong enquires confused, causing Jaemin to recall how they community doesn’t have any mugs, cups or any utensils… Just bottles.

“Shit.” He whispers. “Um, you know what, just empty out the bottle and then put in the tap water.”

Taeyong turns to Seulgi who equally looks baffled, but nods her head. Meanwhile Chenle’s eyes enlarge. “Why don’t you like the bottled water?”

“Chenle eat your food stop talking.” Seulgi warns.

Jaemin still answers. “There's nothing wrong with bottled water. I just don't trust it. Actually, I have a question about the crying baby upstairs. You already have two kids, isn’t it against the law to have a third?”

“Oh, we got clearance for the child. My husband works in the Nurturing Centre and this child didn’t qualify to be a one. The nurses spoke to the Neorist Elder In Nurturing in charge of nursing and she said it was alright for my husband to bring the baby to our dwelling.” She gives off a significant amount of information. Crying baby. That would be the next dreamer. Taking the water from Taeyong who arrives, Jaemin looks back to the family. “I’ll let myself out when I’m done with your daughter. Will that be okay?”

Taeyong and Seulgi nod their heads. Hopefully he could get you to speak up, is what they’re thinking, as Jaemin heads back to your room. They take Chenle to go and inject himself to sleep, they do a checkup on Jisung before heading to the living room to pass time until the accustomed bed time.

“What do you think he’s doing with her?” Taeyong asks, worried, yet also protectively. It’s the first time that someone has actually came to their home, what’s worse, has trapped themselves alone in the room with you. It was only right to feel anxious. You look much more eased, except this time you’re seated on the floor still doing breathing techniques.

He takes a seat right in front of you at a respectable distance. “Drink this,”

Your eyes open up. Your shift back and take the bottle in your hands drinking it.

After a whole minute goes by. You look at Jaemin, inhaling and exhaling. You stick out your hands and Jaemin holds onto them carefully. His body stiffens when actually feeling your entire body tremor just from the contact of skin. “Are you ready?”

You shake your head and blink your tears away. “It’s not real. It’s just all in my head. So… I’ll… trust you- I’ll try.” You gasp out, the pool by your eyes causing Jaemin to hold your hands tightly. You close your eyes concealing the tears. Jaemin too closes his eyes, anticipating anxiously what your dream was…

And damn does he feel anger. He sees you walking at night. You keep looking over your shoulder at him… him being the body he’s possessing in your dream. Whoever this person is. He’s making you uncomfortable. He allows for the movement to carry him, wondering what’s going on. However, as the dream continues with him rapidly following your timid scared self, it escalates into him running after your slow self. He has a bad feeling and knows where the dream is heading. His conscious jumps out of the body wanting to see what you saw- he takes on a ghostly form to view in a third perspective- yet his eyes enlarge as the body Jaemin was possessing gets you in a fierce headlock before dashing and squirming with you to a dark alley. Jaemin watches you struggle- begging the person to stop.

Something about all this is strange… it resembled a dreamscape, but it was a nightmare. He can’t dwell on it longer when you strike up a punch to the man does his hood fall back. He’s surprised to see the face… of the President… before it morphs to HIS OWN FACE! His face as the man who’s now taking advantage of you. He pulls on your clothes- and Jaemin shakes his head instantly jumping back into the body and altering the dream-

He stops himself- taking possession of the dreamscape as his own. He manages to gain control of the narrative- yet…

You’re still stick in shock and trying to get away as you get on your feet and begin running- your mind getting scrambled with the way the dream is going. You try to take control of the dream again as the scene wants to manifest itself- but Jaemin does something that has you breathing out rapidly.

He pauses your dream by snapping his fingers and instantly the dream fades into a black void with your feet being frozen in a run. You notice the darkness all over, except for the floors which turns a misty white. “Don’t worry Y/n, it’s me. It’s me Jaemin.”

“No- no.” However, you’re still stuck in the trance of wanting to show Jaemin the dream- that it’s actually hard to come out of yourself.

Slowly the world Jaemin tries to creates crumbles apart- as you’re back in the alley way running away from the rapist on the floor. Jaemin runs after you- trying to get you to stop. Shit. You aren’t prepared in building dreamscapes yet. Your conscious is colliding with your unconscious. Jaemin can tell that- because as you’re running a duplicate of him runs past him- chasing on you rapidly. He’s shocked out of his mind as a duplicate of him runs so quick and still catches you thrusting you to the corner unveiling your clothes. You begin screaming- and that has Jaemin enraged. He pounces on the duplicate of him punching him in the face- the duplicate falls down but gets up with no injury ignoring him and trying to get your pants off-

This isn’t good. Jaemin tries to wake you up. Your dreamscape is getting chaotic! Another duplicate of him comes out and drags him- he tries to fight it- but that only has another duplicate of himself coming to hold him down as others emerge and run to you on the ground pulling on your clothes- he can hear you screaming and he tries- so hard to try and control the dreamscape- but he’s failing- which is unreal because he can’t fail. Despite you being weak- it seems like this dream is run by an unconscious side of you.

It's when he opens up his eyes in the real world, do his ears pop when hearing you screaming non-stop! “Y/n!” He yells out your name. “Shit!” He lets go of your hands shaking you vigorously and roughly trying to wake you up from the powerful dreamscape landscape you’ve created. He’s so deep in trying to shake you up that he doesn’t notice when Taeyong and Seulgi stand shocked by the door hearing you scream.

Jaemin gets the bottle of water tossing it on your face- but you continue screaming. “Wake up!” Jaemin yells out seeing as you’re now shaking your head- living the nightmare in reality. You begin fighting him but he’s got such a tight grip on you that he doesn’t allow you to hit his face as he grabs your arms. “Wake up!” You’re quick to kick him- your conscious feeling all these hands- all of Jaemins duplicates and their hands on you. “It’s not real!” He keeps yelling out but then you kick him as you get up on your feet.

Your mother and father run inside your room trying to assist Jaemin in catching you- but you’re so strong that you literally punch your mother’s face and kick your father- still screaming and hyperventilating. To think that it was past 8 p.m. but they were still awake in hopes to ask Jaemin questions after he was done. And if they were caught they would easily explain that the dreamer was in there dwelling. So they watched the street lamps turn off, they watched their own house lights turn off and for the first time, they held each other’s hands in some sort of… consoling way. Everything was silent. That’s until they heard you screaming- they ran up the steps and plunged into your room- but the scene of your erratic behavior shocked and almost paralyzed them on the spot. It’s not when Jaemin splashed you with water- did they unfreeze and move.

But now Taeyong attends to Seulgi who cowers back and watches you in horror losing your mind while holding onto her cheek that was painful. Jaemin manhandles you with so much force before pinning you on the bed and digging into his pocket for something to keep you still! You’re not prepared for the magnitude of the shock that jolts all of your molecules shocking you – electricity going up all over your body.

Jaemin pants out when seeing you pass out from being tazzered down.

“What happened?” Seulgi asks.

“Did you just release our daughter?” Taeyong asks out horrified.

Jaemin looks back to your parents on the ground before cursing out. “Fuck.” He breathes out and stands up placing the tazzer back in his jacket. The only time he used this was to wake himself up from nightmares. “Right now. Go and sleep. Before I-”

“Please stand by for an announcement.” Jaemin snaps his head to the little injection monitor in your room, however it speaks out. "Good night Mr Taeyong, good night Mrs Seulgi.” This time some gas sprays out of the monitor and by an instant when Taeyong and Seulgi sniff it, they collapse in sleep straight on the floor. “Dreamer Jaemin, you have to run- the President is on his way to this dwelling. You need to hide Y/n from him.”

Jaemin notices that the announcement isn’t coming from everywhere, just in your room in a hushed robotic voice. Clearly something fishy is happening. He carries you on his back cursing out when he goes out the door and sees a black vehicle. Great. “Just my fucking luck.” He shakes his head when seeing the backseat open. Despite the cars being removed in all communities… this mysterious black car belonged to only one person. It was kept away from any preying eyes and would only drive at night.

President Johnny.

Getting in the car, Jaemin’s not surprised when he sees Johnny holding onto the wheel. That means whoever made the announcement was trying to protect you. “I would ask you why you're here, but I've got a better idea. Be a gentleman and close the door.”

Jaemin secures you in hug as he places your head on his chest, before closing the door. As they leave, they don’t hear the wailing cry of the baby Jisung.

Community 1. This is the place they took your mother. The community specialized in punishing peopling. Jail, as others called it.

Jaemin and your unconscious body are strapped on chairs opposite each other in a white wide circular room. It’s large. There is nothing in the room. Just pure white. Contrasting to Jaemin’s black attire. You’re in your white pajama pants and shirt sitting opposite from Jaemin. Jaemin can only stare at you, wondering what will happen here. Would this be how they'd punish you both?

The doors open and in walks Johnny. Jaemin’s jaw clinches as his tongue circles his mouth, only glaring at Johnny. “Welcome to the punishment internment zone.” Johnny walks towards you. Pulling your hair back adjusts your head upright. “That tazzer surely is strong. She needs to be awake for her punishment.”

“What did you do to her?”

“I tried scaring her into running away from being a Dreamer. I wonder why you want to give up being a Dreamer, if it's because of me then I promise I'll stop having pleasure.” Johnny speaks.

Jaemin rolls his eyes. “That's what you're saying but after seeing her dream, I believe you've done something far worse. Involving those serums."

Johnny smirks. "You've got no proof. It was her friend that gave her the medication for the pain to relieve her from the pain she’s endured. It was her decision to drink it.”

“Pain medication? What bull are you talking- you let others do your dirty work and in the end feign ignorance. That's criminal.” Jaemin’s eyebrows furrow when releasing something. His eyes enlarge. Paid medication? As in the same one they gave Mark-

“Truth be told. I don’t think she’s cut out to be a Dreamer. You're the best one we have. You allow us to do what we want.” He mentions, massaging your unconscious shoulders. “The same way I didn’t think Mark was suited to be one because he always targetted to get me out of power.”

Jaemin grates his teeth.

Just in time, you grunt and move in your seat pinching your eyes closed tightly before they flatter open. Your eyes coming to full of distress when the scenery of your house has changed- Jaemin’s in hand cuffs but so are you.

“Oh rise and shine. Welcome back.” Johnny greets cheerfully.

“Jaemin…” You whisper slowly trembling upon recalling the last memory you had… you saw him… him and several clones. He tried fighting them off trying… to protect you… help you but… they were overpowering. But seeing him now being cuffed to the chair you turn to the side. Your face is laced with surprise when seeing the President.

“Thank you for being obedient in drinking the medication that Jeno gave you.” Johnny pulls out a syringe with a blood red liquid. Jaemin watches with wide eyes as Johnny injects walks towards him. Jaemin is defenseless and tries to duck himself but Johnny is quick in sticking the needle violently on his neck. No sooner than later, your eyes watch in shock at the way Jaemin’s eyes frizzle and become dizzy… instead of looking like he’s alive… he looks out of it. Emotionless in a way he’s never looked before. “Unfortunately, Dreamer Y/n. Your course ends here. Thank you for your time in the communities.” Johnny nods his head pretending to sympathize. “Oh yes I forget to tell him.” He looks to Jaemin’s drugged out face. “Her punishment will be pleasure. Done by you. You called it non-consenting rape, I believe. Well, you're the one with the dreamscapes. Show me how it's done. That way you and I will become two peas in a pod.”

"Jaemin." You call onto Jaemin’s name, but he barely even blinks looking dull and empty.

You just woke up. You don’t know what the hell is going on. But judging from what Johnny is saying, all you can think about is that ‘medication’ you drank… you believe it’s what gave you that nightmare… and seeing as it’s the same injection that Johnny used to place in Jaemin’s neck, your heart begins beating fast.

Johnny leaving the room wishes you luck. The doors close behind him, however once they close the door, the cuffs on Jaemin’s hands and yours are undone.

Not even a quick second passes but you’re thrown off your chair by a heavy backhand slap from him. “No. Jaemin please stop it-” you tremble. Jaemin’s hands aren’t giving out. You try not to cry out loud by his gripping force. He’s very masculine. Very strong and his hands really hurt when they’re on your body.

You try to punch but he dodges while mindlessly trying to fulfill the desire of the blood red liquid serum… Which is to fill you non-consenting pleasure. Jaemin tries to get a hold of your hands and he does but you panic and chuck his groan with your knee- he grunts and slaps your face again grabbing your neck as you cry out grabbing his arms.

“Jaemin stop!” You attempt to hit his arm that doesn’t budge- so you punch his throat. And he gurgles causing him to let you go but only for a second- you grab his shirt just as he grabs your hair and yanks you so hard on the floor getting on top of you. “Jaemin please.” You cry out when he pins your arms above your head. You’re squirming and crying trying to knee him, but his position seems impenetrable. Vital points. Neck. Chest. Heart. You keep swinging trying to get your arms free- but in that motion he violently grabs your chin and dives to kiss your lips. You hear him moan and it just doesn't feel right, like the first time. “Jaemin-” you get out of his lips for a second before he forces them back on you- “Snap out of it!” You yell. He holds onto your hands hard, his other hand going down the sides of your body. You can only squirm. The outcome of this has two possibilities. With either him hurting you… or you hurting him. You give up and cry out, letting your eyes linger on his face as he kisses violently down your neck stealing a lot of your whimpers with such brute force. “Jaemin please stop…” You whisper but he doesn’t stop.

The nightmare relives again but this time you know it’s real. He removes your shirt by grabbing it's fabric and tearing it off violently. You cry when he grabs your covered boob before his hand swims down and he stuffs his hands inside your pants. “No please stop!” You shake your head. “You’d never do it, because you know what love is." You don’t feel it, but Jaemin’s tongue sucking on your neck stops for a bit before he continues. Meanwhile, you shut your eyes tightly professing how he’d never do it. “You wouldn’t hurt me like this. You wouldn’t hurt me Jaemin- because I know you love me. You said it's sacred. That love making is sacred. Done by people who love each other. Jaemin," you whimper out a cry. "Jaemin. Jaemin please, I love you, I love you so much, please don't do this to me - Jaemin please stop.”

His hands hesitate over yours and you take that quick hesitation to break your hands free- but instead of trying to punch him or get away you grab his face away from your neck.

“Jaemin I love you," you whimper out with tears in your eyes. Jaemin's eyes bore into yours deadly. He watches the broken glass look in your eyes as you speak softly to him. "P-please wake up. Please wake me up. I love you. It's okay, I promise you in real. I'm not a dream. I love you. I love you so much." Jaemin tries to move his head- but you hold him tighter. "Jaemin please- don’t take advantage of the good we have. Please. You told me that. That we can’t have good because only one person will turn it bad. Please don’t be that person. Please… show me that you love me, by waking up from this dream. Wake up. Please.”

That has Jaemin stopping- the words hitting his head.

“Please…” He looks up to your eyes… his brain slowly clouding back to his rightful senses. He's erratic breathing slowly bringing him back. Your thumb moves to his lips as you continue to beg. Jaemin's lips kiss your thumb. The tears by your eyes don’t lie as you beg him again. “Please Jaemin, don’t do it.” And instantly he gets off you panting wildly. He can feel his fingers shaking, his whole body trembling… the thought of Mark passing over his head again. When Johnny strapped Mark over the chair, he gave Jaemin a red liquid serum that altered his thoughts to make him act out Mark’s worst fear. Jaemin beat Mark up so badly that after waking up the next day he heard that Mark ended his own life. So seeing you, still on the ground trying to cover yourself again- Jaemin looks at his hands. He can’t believe that the President did it again. Used his own body to harm another person. “Jaemin…?”

His head snaps up to your voice. “I’m sorry.” His voice breaks into a trembling cry. “I’m sorry.” He backs up again and shields himself. This is why he wanted to be released… he didn’t want to experience his body being used again. He recalls how he beat up Mark mercilessly almost to death, almost to a palp. And now you… he almost raped you.

“Jaemin,” He feels too ashamed to look up at your face. He hurt you. “Jaemin, please look at me.”

He doesn’t. But it doesn’t stop you from slowly… warmly wrapping your arms around him. You hold him so tight that you lay your head on his… “I’m so sorry..”

“It’s okay.” You tenderly smile.

“This is why I wanted to die. It's not the first time he's used me like this.” He shakes his head. “I can’t keep hurting those I care about. First it was my family. And then my friend. And now you…”

“It wasn’t you Jaemin. It was a nightmare.” Your hand lays on the side of his face as you tilt your head trying to get him to look at you. “To think it’s happened to people in the past by those they love must’ve been really frantic. The heartbreak of trusting someone you love and then they hurt you… Now I can imagine the pain you keep to yourself and endure.”

“That’s not even half of it.” He looks down. “It doesn’t change the fact that I hurt you.”

“It’s not your fault. It’s the fault of the person who injected you. The person in power.” You say with anger towards Johnny. “He’ll be damned if he tries to do that again.”

“I love you," he blinks away the tears when seeing perfect love in your eyes. "That's what this community lacks. The world was made with love. Without love everything is dull… You, literally saved me with love." He holds you again in his arms and you engulf in him. "I'm still sorry. We need to get out of here and inform the Neorists of Johnny’s erratic behavior. Because if I see him I’ll give him a piece of my mind and that might land me to be released.”

Your head snaps to the door as it opens up. Thinking it’s Johnny, Jaemin gets in front of you ready to fight, but instead it’s Haechan. “Haechan?” You peek from behind Jaemin.

“I’ll explain later, but you have to leave now.” He looks back to the passage before looking at you and Jaemin again. Jaemin removes his leather jacket and helps you put it on.

Haechan helps you escape from the punishment room and out of Community 1. He helps you and Jaemin to his piloting drone and flies high up in the night sky. He explains how Jeno told him that the President gave him a weird serum to give Y/n. He explains that Jeno felt that the President acted weird when giving him the serum. And Haechan too admits to watching the President drive to your house for three days and nearly tried to do something bad with you. And the fourth time when the president tried again, this time he was glad that Jaemin was there.

With his drone he followed the president and saw him violate multiple rules. With protocol, Haechan is supposed to write out a warning, but seeing as it was the President, he didn’t know what to do. Thankfully, Jaemin tells him to report it to the Neorists and hopefully they’ll make a judgement call. With Y/n and him being witnesses, there’s no way Johnny will escape this.

"You've got yourself good friends." Jaemin comments, after Haechan lands by the edge of community 7, by Jaemin's house. "They treat you more like a sister then their love interest. Rest up, I'll be back."

Leaving you at his place in the comforts of his lively nature filled room, with the glass wall showing the beauty of nature, you're able to rest up. He heads to your family dwelling at exactly 6 a.m. to just report that you’re alright and that the events of last night will be rectified, that they should just continue on as normal. But after he’s done he comes back to his place, already seeing you sitting up on his bed in one of his shirts and sweatpants. He sits on the edge of the bed biting his lip when looking at your attire.

“What’s going to happen now?” You ask.

Trying not to get distracted, especially after recalling the things he did to you unconsciously, he clears his throat. “If your buddy Haechan has done his part well in reporting back what he saw to his elder, then the Neorsits will call for a meeting. But if he hasn’t done that, then I’ll have to go and report what I saw myself. Having a community member report a crime is better because it means that the Neorist Elders will be forced to rectify the mistake. They’ll decide on the fate of the President.” Jaemin says. “From there, a ruling will be made, it’s either they’re going to put him out of power and president-ship, or release him. With what he did I’m sure those will be the only options.”

Just then they both hear a loud ‘ding dong’. “I guess your buddy did his part. Someone’s here to call me for the meeting… Do you…” He looks into your eyes. The same eyes that looked at him with so much love… Are looking back at him, with even more love. “I know it’s all so sudden, but do you want to come with me?” He looks in between your eyes. The way you cried last night really pulled a toll on him. He wants to make up for his actions, by proving to you how much he loves you. He wants to actually stay with you and hope that perhaps… with Johnny out of power… his fate as a Dreamer will change.

“What happens when they release him?” You question. “Will someone else be elected as president?”

“Yes.” He nods his head. “One of the Neorists of course.”

“Dreamer Jaemin,” One of the Neorist elders, Jaehyun, the commander of justice calls onto Jaemin. “Would you care to give us your verdict. Our choices are inconclusive. 3 out of 10 prefer that President Suh remains in power, reasons due to how sufficient he has been in ruling the communities. They argue that he might have seen Y/n as a failure because of her actions. Another 3 out of 10, myself included, are in favor of casting the President out of leadership, due to one too many scandals across various of communities, such as invading privacy, manipulating rules, involving himself in illegal serum testing and many more. And finally the last 3 out of 10 prefer for the community to make the final decision because this is the President of all communities, they’re claim is that the community deserves to know. We have all made our claims, it’s up to you to weigh out the decisions, and rule out what we will not do and give your final judgement. On the case of President Suh Johnny, what will we as the body of Neorists do?”

Sitting in the large meeting room with a wooden brown table in the center and all the Neorists sitting around it, you can feel the urgency of the matter as you sit next to Jaemin. If this is what it’s always looked like when making decision, you understood why Jaemin always had a cold face. To intimidate the board of Neorists sitting down. Aside from you, there’s only one woman in the panel, The lady in charge of Nurturing in all communities. She’s the only member with a kind face. Other than that, the other men have serious faces looking ready to argue back with Jaemin.

“My Dreamer has done nothing wrong except heed to his instructions. He specifically said the community cannot afford another failure. It’s the reason why I’ve taken my time in training her. Would you prefer that I rushed and she actually turned to betray the community the way he has? In the matter that President Suh should remain in power is just stupid. A community member, two of them have reported suspicious activities.” Jaemin says firmly leaning back on his seat. “Time and time again, we have sat in this room with the President. We’ve all seen how chaotic he's gotten. For his own personal amusement, he did as he pleased. If it’s really up to me, with every single crime that he has committed, I’d have him released. He doesn’t deserve to be our leader. That’s my call. I wouldn’t say it’s the final judgement, I’m leaving that up to you.”

It’s dead silent as Jaemin is done talking.

“What about you Y/n,” Jaemin turns to you, although his face is still rough with his cold demeanor, his eyes do soften entirely when addressing you. “Do you have anything you want to add? Now is your chance-”

“Excuse me, she can’t speak. We don’t let nonmembers-”

“Mind you Elder, whether you like it or not, she’s the next Dreamer." Jaehyun speaks to the elder who stepped out of line. Saving Jaemin from fighting alone. "You’ll soon be taking orders from her.” Jaehyun looks at you. You stiffen up. “What about you Dreamer in training? Do you have anything to say?” The question is so stern out of his mouth. Wow. Being here really makes you see how tough and firm Jaemin has to be in order to get his point through. Thank goodness he hasn’t started swearing.

You snap out of your thoughts while feeling Jaemin’s knee budge into yours- probably his indication for you to speak fast. “Oh. Uh. Well, after the months I’ve spent training, I found it hard to believe that everyone is taught to follow and obey the rules within our community, but our very own President hadn't done that. In order to eliminate discrimination, envy, jealousy, supremacy, hate and plainly anything different. While we’ve eliminated pain, hunger, and other negatives, we’ve also eliminated love… and freedom of choice. President Suh exercised his freedom of choice, and I think… it’s only fair if everyone gets a chance to also exercise their freedom of choice.”

“So what I’m hearing is that you want the community to decide his fate?” One Neorist says- not having understood what you said.

“That’s not what I said.”

Meanwhile Jaehyun and a few others who have an idea of what you’ve said consider your words. “So, what are you trying to say?”

You turn to Jaemin and he nods his head once. “What you decide to do with the president has nothing to do with me, my concern is the aftermath. Going forward, in order to prevent what President Suh did in future, we need a new President, who embodies the right qualities. And can lead us well."

"Who do you have in mind?" The female Nurturing Elder asks. "Because I too would like to see President Suh out of power and our community actually thriving on something."

"Plus you mentioned love." Jaehyun speaks. "I speak for us all when I say, we don't know wat that is."

"Then the person who knows what it is, should rule over the communities. And break us from a box that we've created." You turn to Jaemin- and Jaemin tries to ignore the odd cliche memories sipping into his thoughts, but he finds your words very gracious and generous. You smile. "With love, you'll see how the community will flourish in a different way." You continue speaking as if you're not just talking to the Neorist Elders, but to him specifically. "Love can change our perception of the world around us, as well as our view of ourselves. If we can bring that feeling back, then we'll have true peace. Compassion."

You turn your gaze onto him, eyes glittering with excitement. It's clear to Jaemin that you're more than eager to share these ideas with the Elders. Jaemin's heart feels relieved as he thinks about your dreams. He wants those too. And maybe, just maybe, love may be what can make the world worth living in again. Aside from that, your presence already makes him want to live longer, by your side.

#nct dream imagine #nct dream na Jaemin x reader #nct jaemin x reader #jaemin x reader #nct dream jaemin #na jaemin x reader #nct jaemin smut #nct imagine #nct jaemin scenario #nct dream romance #nct Jaemin longshot #nct long shot #nct longshot #NCT dream long shot #jaemin angst #strangers to lovers #nct dreamscape #nct dream

85 notes · View notes