#AND i forgot my bracelets which fucked so thoroughly with my sensory/brain that i spent the day scratching/biting at my wrist so it wouldnt
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bad news: today might actually be the worst day of my life, no hyperbole
good news: i no longer want to tear out my hair and scratch off my skin and curl up in a ball and cry
#that is good news bc the entire day i have felt like that so this development is a relief#just like. fucking everything was today that could possibly go wrong#and my usual fool-proof escape mechanisms (escaping into a story/daydream) failed me#and i havent been able to write anything since yesterday which hasnt happened in over a year and feels like a part of me died#(yes that is dramatic but its also true rip its no longer a hobby but an obsession/addiction)#AND i forgot my bracelets which fucked so thoroughly with my sensory/brain that i spent the day scratching/biting at my wrist so it wouldnt#feel so Empty™. its been hours you can still see red little flecks lmao#BUT as i said its gettint better#im wearing my bracelets now and i cancelled climbing training#and my friend and i are probably just gonna train on our own on tuesdays and ditch the group on mondays#bc That Group is so draining and horrible and we literally just fucked off half an hour too early and nobody noticed (or cared) so like#yeah i already feel better abt it. its gonna be alright :))#a biscuit's rambles#i mean its not reall alright yet but its not bad anymore and i can deal#also: this post in: tumblr is my journal/therapy/mental health outlet#lmao
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