#ANYWAY all the Nuance is a moot point when at the end of the day 'my daughter will make your comic book' has simply never ever been true

[blujayonthewing]

my mom:

me, does not and has never professionally offered book illustration or comics, has been so kicked in the dick by Mental Illness™ since [checks notes] 2019 that I’ve been turning down inquiries for the kind of commissions I do do and even my personal work for fun has been spotty at best:

[nightswithkookmin]

RE JIKOOK IS ESTRANGED

Them

Me

Lol

JUMP CUT ALERT: This is a continuation of an ongoing discussion behind the scenes.

DISCLAIMERS:

Article 19, UN Universal Declaration of Human Rights: Every person has the right to freedom of opinion and expression which includes the freedom to hold an opinion without interference through any media.

Misinterpretation of my opinion, my words constitute a violation of my human rights. Please do not take my words out of context, share it on another platform in furtherance of your own agenda. If you do hold yourself accountable first. You are the author of your own intentions and interpretations.

I do not intend malice by my words nor do I seek to be disrespectful of any member mentioned in here. I simply enjoy mentally stimulating conversations and thought provoking discussions.

Let the records show.

MATTER OF THE DAY

Thanks to everyone that's shared your thoughts on this matter with me and thanks to that person that brought this matter to my attention.

I haven't looked into it and I don't know how severe this issue is.

I think people have the right to believe in anything they want to believe in. Personally, I don't think Santa is real but clearly others do, doesn't mean I'm sane or that they are crazy.

I don't think discussions of this nature should be about who is right or who is wrong. Everyone's opinion is valid and holds true to their own delusions. Lol.

Frankly, I prefer this kind of ship wars to the slurs and abuses and they are distributing hard core porn now?? What is going on! Chileee.

I have never believed JK and Tae to be anything more than friends. At one point, I wondered if they were even friends at all lol but since they admitted to having had a falling out themselves at one point the topic is now moot.

Tae and JK have- had- have a really special bond. To me anyways. I always saw them as the evil power twins of BTS due their ability to come together to wreck havoc especially on Bang PD's scripts. Lol. I think I have mentioned this a few times now.

I smiled to myself when I heard them call themselves partners in crime. The bond is there no two ways about it- you either appreciate it for what it is or you don't. personally I love their bond. Can't stand their shippers but I love their bond. They keep the drama going for me- love it. Lol

The question has always been whether their bond is as profound as their shippers make it seem. I argue it's not and I will always argue it is not. Lol

I think it's only fair that they also question whether Jikook's bond is as profound as we make it sound. I really can't be mad at that. All is fair in love and war- at the very least we can agree to disagree.

I mean even Jikookers themselves question the extent of JK and JM's bond. Some think they are just very special friends and nothing more. I think I talked about this in my is Jikook real post when I mentioned labels and the degree of love between JK and JM?

We know JK and JM have a unique bond. The question then is how far does that bond go. Is it just platonic, romantic or something in between?

This is the question I was aiming to answer with my is Jikook real post. My objective was to try and dismantle all the nuances that keep us from seeing the 'truth' about Jikook- that they are real. At least the way I see them.

I talked about unrealistic expectations we have of Jikook, false conditionings that often leads us to see Jikook as something more than they are- the amplified Jikook. We get used to highlight reels of Jikook's interactions in edits such that we feel there is something wrong with them when we see them in real time.

I mentioned that Jimin's nurturing nature often also estops people from reading more into his relationship with JK. He is nurturing of everyone, JK ain't special- they argue, just as this person is doing.

I talked about Jimin's Idol persona, the facade of the boy in love with JK- Jimin's role within BTS since debut and how that can equally blind us into thinking Jikook is something more or less than they really are. I have a post dedicated to this topic sitting in my drafts so I will not go into the details of it here. Please look forward to that.

But this person's post touches on another aspect of Jimin's personality that I feel is one of the things that often keeps us from seeing his relationship with JK for what it really is- his inclination for professionalism.

I keep saying this, several times now, that Jimin's Idol persona to me seems well developed, elaborate and very elusive.

I have mentioned a few times how I think during Jikook break ups that they keep it civil and professional for the sake of the team and that you might not even notice the difference especially if you place high value on their skinship.

The skinship would be there, the cordiality and civility would equally be there- except for moments when they are fighting, that gets bloody. Lol. They are best friends at the very least. It is why it's important to reevaluate the metrics we use to determine whether or not they are a couple.

I wish I could dialogue with this person to understand her assessment of Jikook and what she is using to determine whether or not Jikook are a couple and what makes her think Tae and JK are. Know what I mean?

What makes her think Jikook were a couple before 2017? What makes y'all think Jikook are a couple at all? I would like to hear from y'all- but come at me with the skinship bit and I'll block you deadass. Lol

So on this person's post, I think I agree with her assessment of JM's persona but I don't agree with the Jikook have been broken up since 2017. And I think I understand where this is coming from... I think some of us do. Yes they had a few fights that year especially leading up to Jimin's birthday- August was it? but we all know JK more than made up for it with the damn GCFs. Lol. kindly visit the timeline, peruse as many content as you can and form your own opinion on it. This is just mine.

Are Jikook Jikooking all the time? Absolutely not. They are human too. They fight, they make up, they break up they get back together, they have introverted, extroverted moments, they go up, they go down- have bad hair days, it's all part of their dynamics I'm afraid. From my point of view of course.

I feel some people notice these things too and when they sense Jikook aren't in a good place they bow out and Jump ship- I don't blame them. They are shippers not supporters. What Jikook need are supporters not shippers- or maybe both, do you.

Could this person be one such people? DNF shippers? Given up on Jikook before the end of their story? I don't know. May be.

Jikook is not a fantasy that you ship. It's a relationship that you support. You can't escape into them. They are an ongoing love story- chapters close, chapters open, you just have to ride it out till the very end.

I think the challenge of their post for me is whether or not Jikook is a performance. Her post leans into the whole Jikook is fanservice bull especially in light of the recent photoshoot video which some are using as evidence Jikook don't 'click' when the cameras are off- the lies they tell on Beyonce's internet!

I think I have speculated on this and shared my thoughts on this whole Jikook is fanservice bit. I will delve deeper into it in my next post on Jimin's idol persona but as I've already said, Jikook is fanservice is equally a misnomer.

Yes Jikook does fanservice sometimes, but they are not fanservice. Fanservice is the cover for their relationship. It's their glass ceiling- nothing to see here folks just two snakes under glass. Keep it pushing. (Sorry. Couldn't help myself. Lol)

But you do raise a valid question, what is Jikook like when the cameras are not filming?

Is the mood of Jikook in that footage the general mood of Jikook behind cameras as Tuktukkers are claiming? They barely interact, JM doesn't pay much attention to Kook, yadda yadda yadda?

And the part that gives me a complex, that JK only interacts with JM when they are the center of attention. Huh???????????

Sigh.

I feel caught between a rock and a hard place on this one.

The theory you pointed out in support of this assertion isn't mine and I think I made it clear I didn't share the same thoughts on it. I said it was valid nevertheless. Chilee, this is hard. Lol

Yes JK is an introvert, Jimin is an extrovert, JM doesn't live for JK, all that is true and some Jikookers have said that too- so when you ask, if this is who they are when the cameras are off does that mean what they do when the cameras turn on is fanservice-

I-👁👄👁

I don't know the thought process that went into that theory so I can't confidently defend it. I'll ask? Lol.

Personally, I'd like to know whether or not they see the tension in that footage as tension in the first place. Chileee I don't know.

I see it as tension. Not a very serious one though. So we'd have to agree to disagree on that one.

But the part I can argue, the part I agree with is Jikook aren't hyper super duper lovey dovey on each other all the time. They aren't cuddly all the time. They have their moments of quiet- Jimin seems like the more affectionate kind who'd rub all over JK in the comfort of their homes but still...

If you ask me though, I think Jikook are tamer on cameras than they are behind scenes. I always talk about the fear and panic in the members' eyes when they see Jikook gravitating towards each other- it's probably because they know the extent of Jikook's shenanigans. They know how worse it can be because they've seen it all.

And when JK panics sometimes when JM gets closer too you just know dude is scared perhaps because of his Mochi chick's devil may care shamelessly in love policies- Jimin wild. Bless him.

I did say also that Memories 2019 is equally eye opening. These were censored bits. BigHit was holding all of that and giving us crumbs- stingy mfs. Bless.

All that said, again I don't think Jikook are hyper lovey on eachother behind the scenes. Another part I diverge from that view is that this is not exactly off camera. It was just behind the scenes of a photoshoot. Something we've seen a countless times.

This is not BTS's first ever behind scenes photoshoot. It's just a different angle that's all.

They were working. They were at work. This wasn't an alone private space for them so they can't base on this to say Jikook don't interact when the cameras are off.

The cameras were rolling. We saw them interact, JM was interacting with everyone the way he always does on camera all the time except he wasn't interacting with JK the way he does all the time, grainy footage or not- I mean let's call a spade a spade and not a big fat spoon. Lol

As to why he was doing that- let's just say there are many schools of thoughts.

My thought as I've said is JM was freezing JK out. I think with anyone that's recognized and is familiar with Jikook fights, that mood is all too familiar as I mentioned earlier.

If JM was being courteous and not mad at his man then he would have kept it 'professional' and done the 'fanservice' bit with Jk as per usual just as this person is saying since the cameras were still rolling.

Jikook is not fanservice. They are real.

I have refrained from providing a detailed analysis of that '5 minutes' footage for reasons I will explain later when I do share my thoughts on that footage- eventually. Some day.

But my hypothesis remains the same that I think Jikook were fighting or had a minor issue. As to why they were fighting, chileee I don't know. The confirmation bias in me feel it had something to do with JM's birthday but honestly it could have been over anything at all- dumplings, microphones- we all saw that slap on stage, a certain Iphone notification perhaps, did JinMin make a secret VLive without Kook again? Lol

There are plethora of reasons, I can only speculate on a few. And I think we've all seen Jimin when he is not 'Jimining' with the others, JK included. Take his mood with Tae at GDA for example- since this is not a VMin post I won't go into it.

But it seems they squashed whatever beef they were having on stage when JM extended his hands to Tae and they shaked it out.

We've seen him and Suga bicker too- which again, I am not gonna to get into out of respect for their shippers but I can point you to the On comeback VLive early this year when Suga touched JM and JM mouthed Hajima to him- which I think had something to do with what was going on with him and JK at the time but that is besides the point. Every shipper for themselves.

I contrast his 'fights' with Suga and V to show you the difference between Jimin being professional and courteous and Jimin being rah rah. He was sat next to suga, talking and laughing with him but snapped the moment Suga held his back.

He did the same in the Dynamite MV Vlive, smiling and laughing with Suga but the moment JK teased him with the Yoonmin comment his countenance fell.

Jimin is not that good of an actor if you ask me. I have said he is very Kumbaya in nature, often makes compromises for the sake of the team but that don't mean he is a pushover or one to trifle with- he scares me when he is mad. Lmho.

The scene in that footage didn't look to me as that he was being nice and courteous to JK- is that y'all's definition of professional courtesy? Damn.

If they were having a lover's squabble then the 'icy' mood of Jikook we saw in that footage is not the general mood of Jikook when the camera's are turned off.

I have to state again that I don't know much of what goes on behind the cameras and most of the things we see sometimes are equally missing context.

That been said we have seen enough of Jikook 'behind cameras' and they are more intimate than we can imagine. A certain cozy selfie at the back of an abandoned truck comes to mind. Whatever they were doing at the back of the track wasn't intended for the cameras judging from JK's reaction.

We've had glimpses of Jikook when they are not the center of attention enough to have a fair idea of what they are when cameras are off and I don't think it is that mood we saw in that footage.

We saw them at Jingle ball bell, towards the end of 2019. We saw them in their own space doing what they do best- making us feel single as fuck. Bless them.

We've seen them at awards, we've seen JK eating Jimin's ear nom nom to calm him down- like I would have just bought him icecream to calm down his nerves or rubbed his back but whatever JK. He is your man; you know him best. Good for him. Good for both of you. Now come back and feed us.

And the bit about JK only laughing with JM when he noticed he was on the Bangtan Bomb cameras in that footage- now that's nasty below the belts phony ass ass! I felt that one straight in my chest, shit. Lol

Dude was in a doghouse it seemed and I noticed them stealing glances at each other and.... sigh.

I just think JK was looking for an opening to warm his way back into JM's good graces- it's really nothing we haven't seen before.... sigh.

This is 2020 that narrative of JK hates Jimin, JK doesn't like JM needs to stop. It's dead. Pack it up. Chileee, y'all tried it with this one.

Jk is nice to JM only when the cameras are on him? Nice try.

JK is so fake and fraudulent he glared RM down till he stepped away from Jimin- again, in the very same photoshoot footage y'all swear to God is proof Jikook is not real.

Find it. RM stood next to JM. Looks up see's something- or someone. Does his tell- the hand to head thingy he does when JK glares at him over Jimin. He backs away inches from JM.

Cut to JK. Dudes a mood. Jin bumps into him, stares at him but JK wouldn't even look at him and then deadass looks away grumpyly- talk of professionalism. You doing great swidy keep going!

You can hide a relationship, fake it on God but you can never hide the intimacy. Taekook just lack that intimacy, I'm sorry. Even in that 'estranged' moment Jikook's intimacy was still there-

Even in whatever mood JK was in- which again, I believe was just due to their lover's squabble- JK still was claiming his man and exercising his right of authority over him. That's how you know they are not broken up. In my opinion. Chileee. I'm gonna get in trouble. Deep sigh.

Y'all think JK was hovering over Jimin because he was preparing to strike him down like a censored censored censored? Yea, he was preparing to strike alright- All the corners of Jimin's heart. Y'all better stop before I find you. Lol

I said I wasn't going to analyze the footage in this post but damn. This man out here serving us all kinds of brooding assorted jeonlous as his man takes a time out or two to wiggle wiggle wiggle on him Malfroy style and y'all are out here peddling nonsense. Strike one.

He was a mood alright. Did y'all see Tae rubbing his chest, arms and legs, ears did y'all see any body else in there doing that for him? Y'all's falcon cannot hear his falconer give it up and sorry, Jikook can't relate.

As I've posited, JM I feel was mad as hell for whatever reason and wasn't in the space to be that person JK needed him to be- in that moment. Doesn't mean they are like that behind scenes all the time.

And before I get attacked again for causing drama, being toxic etc by Jikookers understand that I am just a delusional person shipping these two in a way that makes sense to me. Write me off as delulu, and go please.

Whatever ambiguity surrounds that moment, to me, Jin and RM's reaction to JK clarifies things a bit. Jikook were boiling hot. JK was still keeping an eye on his man. Lol. Bless them. That's my conclusion. I'm running miles with that. Catch me. Lol

Feel free to come up with your own theory in a way that makes sense to you.

I'm not sure how long that fight lasted but from the rain day incident I'm hoping it wasn't that long. Jikook are fine I believe- I hope. Judging from the way JM drew JK out in his VLive with the whole I miss JK comment? Did that not sound familiar to y'all? And that Mickey mouse thingy- JM ain't slick. Bless him.

JM is the perched akekeke whisperer whispering all kinds of things in JK's ear, feeding JK news of what goes on on social media and what not. Dude don told his man they won a BB on his birthday, told his man Jin wasn't happy he chose his bag over his- definitely told his man Army was missing him- what? I'm going with that too sue me. Lol

Did you or did you not see Jk coming out to do a live log afterwards? And JK seemed less grumpy, in very high spirits? Wedding bells- I'm manifesting it for JK. Manifest with me.

Remember when JM did a log and talked nonsense about JK, and JK did a rebuttal log to respond to JM and address some of the things JM had said about him? Remember that? It's a jikook thing and it's back😌

I have said JM uses social media to connect with Army while JK uses it as an outlet to express himself. Through out his Live he kept talking about how he wasn't prepared to do a live and it shows in the way he kept saying it was awkward, he just kept it business and didn't know what else to share... I wonder who put his paws on him, dragged his ass to turn on the camera because Armys had asked of him- a certain quick tempered chick who dragged his man out on social media to do the whole Chuseok greetings 2020 on Twitter perhaps?

And JK is so whipped he'd do just about all the hoops to appease his man- Jikook AU written by Goldy. High five. No but seriously...

Behind the scenes, JK sneaks into JM's bed at night- Taekook does it too? Please! The look on JM's face when RM spilled that tea is enough said.

There's only two people in BTS that panic and don't want us to know they lay one on God in bed and it's not Tae Kook.

JK: Jimin hyung and I will sleep here

JM: how about we let the others choose first

Everyone shares a room:

Footage:🦄🍲🐯🧀🐺🍟🐓🥛🐑🛏

JIKOOK share a room:

Footage: 🚪👀

Behind the cameras Jikook sneak into each others bed- camera caught them live. You saw JM's face, I can't make this shit up. Lol

Behind the scenes, Jikook do laundry at 1am. *insert JM pervy face meme.

Chileee, y'all making me trip with this one. Deep breaths.

Jikook have their moments. This was one of them. Can they be human? Please. Thank you.

At this point, these folks are not even shippers. They is shoppers shopping a man for their bias. Lol. Just admit y'all want Jeon thick thighs strong butt for your bias and go. Just admit you want some tall glass of Tiger charming face husky voice strong chest for your bunny and go. Lmho

Chilee, when we say Tae and Kook had a falling out we don't mean they freeze eachother out behind cameras. Hell, we don't even mean they fake their bond or interactions. C'mon! Tae and JK admitted they are not lovers and y'all is bitter. That's why y'all is making up this nonsense about Jikook. Speak the truth and shame the devil. Peter would be proud.

When we say Tae Kook is not real, We just mean JM spends JK's birthday with him while every one including Tae is out there cruising for Jesus with friends. We just mean Jikook claim eachother even when they beefing. That ship beefed and didn't even know they was beefing and they are real? Damn.

We just mean Jikook make efforts for each other even when they are having bad days- Had it not been for Jimin they'd still be gnashing on these cold streets. Place some respect on his name, y'all's ungrateful. Lol

Tae and JK don't want each other they both want Jimin- there. I said it.

Thanks for attending my Tedtalk. 👁👄👁

Now where was I? Never mind. I'm just gonna go burn some sage. There's too much negativity going on around. Hakuna matata!

There is nothing wrong with Taekook as a ship. Personally, I'm a multishipper I ship all the ships but I support Kookmin. I don't mind their shippers calling them whatever, but my eyes twitch when people who claim they support Jikook act wishy washy with Jikook. Lol. Like are you going to withdraw your support of Kookmin if JK sits on Tae's lap?👀 Yall make me nervous. How can you think Jikook is real but then look at Taekook and go huh??? What are y'all seeing that I can't see?

Like those are two completely different dynamics. It's the skinship isn't it? Talk to me. Jikookers who see something nonplatonic in Taekook honestly give me trust issues. Y'all have me out here looking over my shoulders.

I am delusional but I'm confident in my delusions because to me it is about the love and support for JM and JK as LGBTQ plus couples. Please stop shipping Jikook, stop shopping JK and JM for eachother and start supporting them because they are real.

IN MY OPINION.

Signed,

GOLDY

[enemymine2000]

Fandom rambles: Destiel

Random disclaimer: I am late to the party, but I'm only just now trying to catch up on Supernatural. I have binge-watched as much as I could the last couple of months and right now I'm at 11.17, so roughly only a season left to finally catch up with y'all. Therefore I don't actually know what's going on in canon right now, apart from the random gif-set or meta. I don't tend to spoil myself willingly (too much). Random dislcaimer to the disclaimer: I tweaked the programmed fall of Castiel a little bit after I finally caught up with the show. (YEAH!) Meaning I added “a bit” to the text, but my argument still holds despite Chuck being kind of a douchenoodle. I also clarified some of my ramblings, while I added to others. Wild ETAs appear, but since I couldn’t catch them all, I haven’t identified them all. So basically I re-wrote some of it without actually changing my hypothesis.

That being said…

In my mind Destiel low-key exists in canon. It's not only the fact that it is always especially acknowledged in the more meta episodes – as much as I love Sam's fascination with the subject. But simply the way the show is actually written.

There was the line spoken by Sam, while Dean had his focus completely on bringing down the Leviathans, that went something like: “Are you looking at porn or are you exclusively into dicks now.” The casual viewer laughs it off as a nice pun on the name of main villain Dick Roman, but underlying is Sam's acknowledgment of the fact that his brother very well might not be totally straight either.

Random discourse on sexuality: I'm totally straight, so all I know is second-hand knowledge and stuff you read and hear over the years of existence. But what I know is that bisexuality does not mean that you can't have a predominately type or gender for that matter.

So us only seeing Dean's female conquests doesn't automatically negate any chance of him being bi. As well as him obviously favoring female Asian porn.

I mean, come on. I'm a straight woman, but I prefer to watch male gay porn. Doesn't make me a gender-bent homosexual. (Please, no wank on the nonchalance I display. Everyone does themselves, I do me.)

Sam practically always takes the chance to tease Dean about possible male/male relations when it arises. Mostly in connection to the Winchester Gospels/Supernatural fan fiction they come across and practically always in regards to Cas.

Little brothers always know best, I'd say.

So I take that as as much verbal confirmation we'll ever get, unless the show mans up and gets The CW to back down on their “please, no homo for main characters”-policy. Which, come on, Supernatural got an early renewal for season 13, they could really start to give us a treat.

Anyway… It was established very early on in the Cas' storyline, that the angel Castiel and the Righteous Man, Dean, share a most profound bond. Something beyond everything Castiel feels for anyone else, except maybe Chuck himself – but that is practically his operating system and doesn't really count as changeable feeling. I heard even Lucifer still loved Daddy dearest deep down in his blackest of hearts and by Chuck he really tried not to. So operating system it is.

Castiel having that deep of a bond with Dean is not part of that. In fact it even interferes with all orders he gets from Heaven in his first two seasons.

He is not meant to get attached, but he is and it slowly but surely changes his basic programming. He comes to love humankind in a way that practically no angel since allegedly Lucifer has done. He starts to understand them on a basic level even while still being a celestial being roughly the size of the Chrysler building.

Castiel falls without actually falling from Heaven. And even when he later gets caught and reprogrammed by Naomi, his attachment to Dean wins over his new orders. This bond runs deeper than his connection to Heaven and even his faith in his father, the two fundamental pillars of his very existence. Nothing should be able to beat that, but his connection and feelings for Dean do. Again and again.

Which is something that in my opinion can't be stated enough. The angel Castiel was a good soldier. The leader of his garrison. He was trusted and in return he had blind faith in the cause of Heaven.

The soldier fell because of one human man.

No matter his role in prophecy, at the end of the day Dean is nothing but a pathetic, weak human man. Functional alcoholic with enough issues to pay the bills for all of New York's psychiatrists. (I've heard there are a lot of them.) A guy, who as much as he loves his brother, he doesn't even fully trust him. Not enough to tell him that he is screwed up after his stint in Hell anyway. And it gets only worse as the seasons progress.

A man who doesn't even believe in God's plan when confronted with the proof of its existence. Ironically by meeting Chuck himself, but hey, a God does what a God has to do, right.

And here it is, something I think is highly overlooked when it comes to the discussion of whether or not Destiel might be real, going canon or what-not. The fact that Chuck not only knew about Castiel falling, but it was part of His very own plan. Castiel needed to fall for the Winchester Gospels, which were practically the Word of God – without anyone knowing at that point, okay, but still – to play out as intended. (ETA: As much as the Apocalypse in Supernatural had been engineered by leader-less, bored angels, its happening has been foretold for close to 2000 years, I guess from the prophecy of John until today, so even without the Winchester Gospels a Righteous Man was foretold to break the first seal, so there always needed to be an angel to raise the Righteous Man out of Hell - innocent soul after all. For the ultimate fight in the Apocalypse the Angel Breeding Program always watched over the bloodlines which would bring forth the perfect vessels for Lucifer and Michael and always needed to make sure to keep the vessels alive as long as there was no replacement/next generation ready. Meaning of course somekind of guardian angel. Lucky Cas, he just was doomed from the start, when the bored upper echelon jump-started the Apocalypse program. Because of course he was chosen (? - programmed?) to raise the Righeous Man, who just happened to be Dean freaking Winchester, Michael’s perfect vessel. The Upper Echelon and The Angel Breeding Program obviously were never good in keeping each other informed. Which is why Chuck hadn’t expected Castiel to be there, despite the Winchester Gospel - the amended version of the original prophecy. When Chuck still was on top of everything Heaven, those mistakes simply didn’t happen and therefore even God himself could not foresee Castiel taking an active part in the Apocalypse - with the rebellion so to speak. But Chuck definitevly foretold, aided and abetted even, the rebellion and hoped to himself to stop his own program, for it was not meant to go off that early. And he really couldn’t have his angels running roughshod over his plans, especially while He still enjoyed his creation. As a nice little compensation for stopping the unstoppable, Chuck rebuild Castiel after Lucifer was back in the cage. But the angel was already infected with the Winchester-virus and still screwed, which at this point Chuck must have known, even when he still didn’t overly care for his “son” and whatever would happen with Heaven going forwards.)

So since Chuck in Supernatural, despite all his flaws, still is an all powerful and omniscient being, it de facto was God's Will for Castiel turning his wings on Heaven for Dean's sake. (ETA: Him knowing and not changing things in this case means “God’s Will”. We can not assume not knowing, since Chuck turned up for “Supernatural - The Musical”. We know he did not care until it was actually kind of too late - if it wasn’t for the Winchesters - and threatened His own being for once. So if He knew and did not change things, it implied His Will, even if only by omission of doing something else.) He might not have known about the clusterfuck Heaven produced due to jump-starting the program, but he did not change the course history would take after by running an anti-virus program against human emotions through Castiel when he rebuild the latest version he had transformed into. The version that going forward had the free will to go against Heaven and therefore laying the groundwork for the literal fall of all angel-kind. (Something that He still, to the best of my knowledge has not fixed. So all angels still depend on the stairway to Heaven, Cas is so far gone down the human route, he practically is human inside. So whatever clusterfuck “of cosmic proportions” happens next, I blame it on Chuck for not taking the time to reorganize Heaven before He made of with Amara to wherever.)

Heavily flawed Dean Winchester - ah well, even Chuck couldn't plan out all details in advance. But the Winchester line was part of the Angel Breeding Program and therefore always meant to produce Michael’s, but with an infusion of demon-blood also Lucifer’s. And there must have been a point in history, where it was obvious to look to Dean when it came to the Righteous Man. I mean, the Upper Echelon were not one day like: “Let’s jump-start Apocalypse, who is the most likely candidate for breaking the first seal in Hell right now.” They must have known to watch for Dean, before he was taken by the hellhounds. To observe, how long he would hold out. They must have planned to have him being the Righteous Man from the moment he made that damn crossroads deal. Them not intervening on his behalf is evidence enough for that. Dean Winchester was Michael’s perfect vessel. The only possible candidate at that point. Adam was not a product of the Angel Breeding Program, therefore not on their radar until the Winchester brothers discovered his existence, which was after the Apocalypse had started and Dean had already declined various attempts to have him become Michael’s meatsuit. The Angel Breeding Program was desperate, for the Apocalypse was to far advanced to delay the ultimate fight much longer and in the Upper Echelon’s need to have something happen, they missed the fact that it’s always good to have a spare. Which normally would have been Sam, but alas, demonblood infusion. A goner for Lucifer as far as they were concerned - and hence probably the only reason they were so desperate in having him stop consuming demonblood. He was too far ahead schedule for Heaven’s liking. So, having Dean be the vessel while also be the Righteous Man was not well thought out, but the Upper Echelon hazarded the consequences. They send Castiel to raise him after the First Seal was broken and kept him on his case, so the vessel would not be gone before it was its time to be used by Michael. Practically a 2-1-deal for Heaven, right? Only Dean’s main flaw is to go against the machine and beat the odds or die trying. Therefore he corrupted Castiel and formed him to be the Cas we all know and love.

All in Chuck's plan, by planing the Apocalypse and not changing the program once it was started by Heaven - although, maybe he did. We call Chuck’s books “The Winchester Gospels”, but are they still gospels, when God himself wrote the script? He sure didn’t care about everything enough anymore, but he still kind of liked just being with his creation and he definitively is a stronger being than all others, except Amara. So he could have simply changed some things to keep his creation going without outright stopping the Apocalypse - which was meant to happen anyway by him, just not that year - but in favor of Team Free Will. Or maybe he really did not care either way and had already his room prepared and was willing to wait there for whatever as long earth itself continued to exist - well, and Amara was not freed, I’m pretty sure that would have been an instant deal-breaker. Either way, Chuck’s plan. Either by action or inaction.

But, you say, what does that all make Dean and Cas necessarily into a gay romance thing. Nothing at first. But then you must also remember that Cas is a celestial being first and foremost. He is only a he, because Jimmy Novak's body turned out to be his perfect vessel. Angels are basically genderless and as Cas himself once said during his first couple of seasons, they don't judge based on gender or sexuality. It simply is what it is.

That also makes the point moot some might offer up, that Cas only ever seemed to be physically attracted to women.

For starters we have way too little data. Cas has had a boner watching hetero porn (in reaction to the babysitter or the pizza-man we don’t know) and in a pinch acted out on what he saw with Meg. That was not attraction, that was simply a life and death - try to distract them - situation. Meg being attracted to Cas is another thing altogether. But to quote Jensen on whether he ever thought about Jared in a sexual way: “Who wouldn't want to tap that!”

So the whole Clarence-schtick starts. Cas not being in his right mind at the time makes everything we might see from him, before he regains his sanity, moot. Consensual issues and all that jazz. Even for celestial beings.

Remains the one line about him having been willing to give it a try before Meg sacrifices herself. Again with the “Who wouldn't want to tap that.”

Cas genuinely came to care for that demon, who had been willing to go against everything demons stand for and help out an angel. Said demon inhabiting a nicely build body and obviously being good at kissing is not a turn-off either.

But most importantly, both knew that it would have taken a miracle for Meg to survive the coming minutes. It was their way of comforting each other and saying goodbye.

The next one we are being shown is April. Cas has now truly fallen in every imaginable way. Heaven's Gates are closed, he is without his grace and thus purely human and on the run from literally every angel there is. And all are on earth, he can't see their true faces anymore and he feels he has to protect the Winchesters by staying away after what has happened with Hael, who pretended to be on his side only to turn around and use him for her own gain.

April appears to be human and nice and one thing leads to another. Not necessarily to be taken romantically. I mean, take a look at the situation and try to imagine living it yourself.

At this point Cas is as human as he can possibly be emotionally. He is on the run, running on empty, injured and doesn't know whether there will ever be a safe place for him anywhere. He doesn't even know, where he belongs to anymore. He will always be angelic at heart – literally an eternity of being one will not be so easily erased – but he is truly human now. The Gates of Heaven are closed, so even if he somehow got his grace back, he would still be trapped on earth. Should the Gates of Heaven open again, he would not be welcomed due to his role in the Fall and his time as Godstiel.

His live is in danger from practically everyone now – humans are so much more fragile and complex as angels – his only allies are the Winchesters who are always in trouble one way or the other and really don't need all angelkind on their case too. He is hurting on all levels and there is just this one little beacon of hope called April. Doesn't hurt that she is attractive and he inhabits a hot-blooded male body, which obeys a simple programming. Eat, sleep, procreate. Repeat.

The only true interest on an emotionally level Cas shows to a woman is during his Steve days. But then again, he is new at this whole being human thing. He desperately tries to blend in and Nora seems to be genuinely kind to him.

He misreads her intentions though, for he simply doesn't know better. Nuances of human interaction are still too much to handle for the former angel. Not too forget, that he is disappointed in Dean for turning him away from the bunker.

What would you do if you literally had no one else and would wanted to fit in? You either despair or you would try to find new friends. In this scenario, you would accept the apparent invitation for a date and go with the motions. (We literally see him imitating others in that very episode, where he to goes with the motions without understanding the subtext of the interactions.)

IDean's appearance in “Steve's” town throws an emotional wedge into Cas' new life. Despite him still going through the motions, his pain is palpable. He misses being Cas, he misses Dean and it hurts him, that Dean seems to be so nonchalant about the prospect of him dating. Enter the Rit Zien, the “mercy-killer-angel” Ephraim, who comes after Cas.

That concludes the data. At least as far as I'm currently aware. Three females (at least in body) and a porn video (maybe).

Again, Cas as an angel simply has no appointed gender. No appointed sexuality. He simply does not care about such concepts. It is what it is at any given moment.

But his heart, well, that is another matter. The strongest emotions he feels when it is Dean. The strongest bond is to Dean. Dean is acknowledged in canon to be his ultimate weakness and also strength in nearly every episode Cas makes an appearance.

So saying that Cas not only loves Dean, like he would love all humankind (Chuck programmed that into his angels too), but is in love with him is not a stretch. It simply is stating a fact.

So back to Dean's point of view. There is way more data to be had canonically. But also a lot to be left to the imagination.

We hear a lot more about Dean's conquests than we do actually see them. Whenever Dean has a night in the town, so to speak, it is more alluded to the fact that he picked up a random woman than actually shown. So it could very well be, that some random men might be among the conquests.

I again might want to remind you, that Sam is completely calm about the prospect of Dean being with men. He never even hints at being uncomfortable with the thought.

I mean, I don't know about your family, but my brother, as cool and modern and open-minded as the little shit is, would still be left speechless for once if he suddenly got confronted with his sister turning to the other side. He would snap out of it very fast, but he still would have his moment of reevaluating me and our relationship, trying to figure out where he might have missed hints and stuff like that. And than the bastard would probably humorously ask if he could leave me and his girlfriend alone in one room. As I said, he can be a little shit. I love him regardless.

We see nothing of that sort from Sam. Meaning he had that moment sometime off screen, probably way back in the brother's past. Knowing John Winchester, probably not when the old man was around, but had left his sons somewhere in a motel by themselves.

Well, I've heard teenaged boys are horny as fuck and no adult supervision and only a little brother to think about… Who knows how many conquests Dean had in those dingy motels while being left behind to look after little Sammy. Who knows, maybe Dean even had to do some stuff of the sexual kind, just to keep questions at bay and Child Protective Service off their backs. (I mean come on, John was sometimes gone for weeks and two underage sons left in dingy motels without parental supervision sure raises questions and causes problems. Keyword being “dingy” here – low-lives are to be expected, societal outcasts and all the crop of the worst. And they were not so far of the grit as to have noone care either. The boys went to school, so had to probably meet the guidance counselors frequently and as much as humans are flawed, at least a couple must have cared that these boys were permanently moved around and left in motels. You get where I'm coming from.)

Dean was drilled from 4 years old to do literally everything he can to keep Sam safe. You know he would go down on his knees to blow someone if that is what it takes.

So, I think Dean thinks sex is sex, no matter the gender. No hindrance on the matter of Cas occupying a male vessel for him.

Emotionally is a different matter altogether, but that’S not because of some big gay revelation but because everything and everybody Dean loves dies. He learned that when he was 4 and his mother burned. He learned that again and again at the knee of his father, while he was taught to be Daddy’s perfect little soldier. Don’t feel for those people, just come in save them or gank them, when they are monsters. It is the family business.

Imaging living that life! Being responsible for your younger brother like a parent, being a soldier instead of a son for your father and just slightly more than a passing glance for those you meet on the road. The only one who cared for Dean’s emotional well-being was Bobby (and later that guy on that farm for wayward boys). That is not enough to learn normal human responses and emotions.

Case in point Dean chosing the family business because he saw Sam in his father’s car, when John came to take him away from that farm, instead of saying “screw you, I’d rather go to prom with my girl”. Because that would have been a normal teenage response to being left behind and then actually liking where you end up. Teenagers are self-centered. Dean is not. He is Sam-centered. All his relationships (romantic and otherwise) show that over the course of the show and it only started ro gradually change once Dean could shift some of his focus away from Sam and onto Cas.

Lisa and that girl on that farm are the only ones, Dean is shown to have allowed in deeper. But still not deep enough. He left the girl basically for Sam. He did the same with Lisa. Oh, with Lisa he says, it’s because bad things tend to follow him home and it will never stop, so he not only leaves her and Ben, but actually has himself erased from their memories. But it’s more that he can’t open himself to them fully. He can’t let them in and just assumes, they wouldn’t want in anyway with all the creepy things that wait there. He never even tells his brother that he loves him, instead having the “bitch, jerk”-ritual. No, Dean tends to keep it casual, because that is what was drilled into him by his father. The very father who lost his wife and couldn’t deal with it other than to seek revenge until the very end. No matter the consequences. Even if those were the lives of his sons. The very father, who had another son, which he also could not let in. Because what you love dies, so better not commit to such an emotion. At the other end of this we have emotionally constipated Dean, who never learned to love anybody except his brother, who lets in Cas. He trusts Cas, when he can’t even trust his own brother. Even when ruled by the Mark of Cain his trust lies with Cas. He asks him to take him down when he loses control. It is Cas he asks to care for Sam, when he can’t anymore, when he gets ready to meet his fate, when he carries the soul-bomb to Amara. The guy who says he does not do chick-flick moments has those with Cas en masse, but with no one else. Even Sam. Case in point, the aforementioned wish for Cas to put him down, when Dean still denies for a couple of more episodes getting worse to Sam. Or when meeting Cas (at that point possessed by Lucifer) in the bunker, telling him about his special connection to Amara, when he didn't tell Sam anything beyond “I met her and we didn't kill each other and that's how I landed a mile away from Baby in a field”. It took again a couple of more episodes for him to admit that to Sam and probably only because he knew he needed to, otherwise he would ruin their chance to banish the Darkness.

Dean showing his emotions for Cas in coming through for him, trusting him with his inner most thoughts and secrets, is practically his way of shouting his feelings for his angel from the rooftops. And the world, demons and angels and everything in-between, takes notice.

In conclusion:

Destiel is already canon. But it is a frustratingly slow burn. Maybe we will never been shown them as a couple for various reason – doesn't fit into the narrative, destroys the flow of the show, or the execs at the network don't want something like that on the screen – but it already is.

And the actors already play towards it.

Misha's blatantly baiting of the bond, heart-eyes and all, shows that as the actor who has to portrait Castiel, he knows and understands the love his angel feels towards that damaged human. And the exasperation that Dean has not yet acknowledged it openly, when the whole universe is already aware, but that is Dean Winchester for you and what is he to do…

Jensen stating that he does not see Destiel shows how Dean can not (yet) acknowledge the emotional bond beyond friendship. As an actor he simply can't allow for fannish what-ifs and headcanons. Dean has to keep a certain amount of distance. He is hurt by all the losses in his life and he will not admit to feelings for Cas, if there is the slightest chance of the angel getting in danger because of him.

That certainly would make sense from a director/writer's point of view. Maybe Misha has been told that Destiel is a already thing, while Jensen has not been told the same, to keep that vibe of uncertainty which gives so much motivation for the characters and so many plots for the show.

Maybe everything I wrote is total beeswax and Destiel is all in my head. But at least you'll get now some of the reasons, why I ship them.