#AUGH HART FAMILY HOW I WONDER ABOUT YOU SO

[radio-zephyr]

ough i reread intkot again and im having so much thoughtsssss mild spoilers below the cut!

I can't stop wondering about deon's family during his time in the eight years war. We know that when they first find out they're absolutely horrified and devastated, begging to meet the empire and see deon again. But the war lasted eight years, and there's so much time in between, i really wonder how the family changed. Like they had to have heard about the rumors about deon once he had become so ruthless and merciless he gained the status of a hero and became the 'vanguard of the eight years war' right? His reputation alone is enough to keep armies at bay and the simple fact of his being wounded is enough to encourage whole countries to view the empire as being weaker, those in the empire must have recieved some news about the frontlines. Did his parents obsess over any news? Did they hunt for any last scrap of information, any sign on how their beloved son was doing? Were they horrified at the brutality he enacted? Did they know the extent of the brutality? or was it only passing rumors that they managed to catch? Was their first reaction relief that he was alive? did horror trump that feeling or did they feel more grateful than disgusted by deon's actions? how would they have felt, knowing their beloved child, who had always been so weak, had become such a ruthless force at war? Would that have burdened them with so much more guilt? or fear? Did they spend their days lying awake, cataloguing everything they learned and praying for his survival? Or was everything too much? After all, eight years is a long time. Did they give up after years of begging to no avail? Did they turn away from any news of the war out of fear of what they might hear? that their precious son was dead? that his body was trampled, or he was crushed and left for the vultures? Did they close their eyes and desperately pray that deon was alive, whilst refusing to know if he truly was? What about cruel? Did he track the newspapers so closely, or was information on the war not detailed enough? I want to know so badly just how deon's family felt. They were the people who had truly loved deon. And when deon returned, and they wake up in the middle of the night to the carnage in their estate, and deon opens the door, and he drops the corpse, and points a knife at them. Did they first feel shock? disbelief? that they were dreaming? Or were they overcome with even that momentary relief, that they could see their baby again? were they overjoyed for even that one second, before reality set in? Or was horror the first thing they felt, unfamiliarity, at the sight of someone they could barely recognize as their son? Or was it relentless guilt? When they called his name, was it in confusion? Desperation? To reach out, to hold him, to ask him what was happening, why he was doing this? When deon shoved that knife into their bodies, how did they feel? What was their last thought, their last emotion, towards deon? towards the person he had become, the child he still was? In the end, could they ever truly bring themselves to resent him for it?