#About The Strange Redemption of Thaddeus Thawne

[brown-little-robin]

I don't think I've heard of Butterfly Boy before!

hehehehe ACTUALLY

you have! That's the title of my The Strange Redemption of Thaddeus Thawne document.

You get a very rough draft snippet of outline from the Vague Future of the fic, which I will never write, featuring my habit of writing without quotation marks when I'm trying to just let the words flow:

[bluejaysandblackbats]

silence of your song

Fandom: DC Comics, Flashfam, Flash Rogues

Summary: Malcolm Thawne takes in Thad after weeks of being stalked by him. (Post-Mercury Falling)

Chapters: 1/?

Characters: Malcolm Thawne, Thaddeus Thawne, Bart Allen, Barry Allen

Additional Tags: Found Family, Dysfunctional, Reluctant Family, Redemption, Malcolm Thawne Wants a Family, Thaddeus Thawne and Malcolm Thawne Parallels, Canon Divergent AU, Retired Malcolm Thawne, Protective Malcolm Thawne, POV Malcolm Thawne, Childhood Memories, Malcolm Thawne Becomes Thaddeus Thawne's Dad, Adoption

Chapter One: Stray Cats

I kept the window cracked when it rained because my heater broke, and it stayed at a muggy eighty-six degrees in my fire trap of an apartment. I muted the TV and let it play, hoping it’d be on when I woke up from another nightmare. The thunder blocked out the sound of my upstairs neighbors loudly whispering while they argued, but I could hear every little noise outside my window. I could listen to every pitter-patter and drip-drop. Every rattle rattle and clang-bang. The noise was comforting. And comfort was in short supply since I was released.

I was tense, but not without reason. I’d been free for four months and in my apartment for two when I noticed a little boy trailing me. At first, I thought it was Barry’s grandson, but he had to be in his early twenties. This kid was maybe thirteen or fourteen… And blond. I had to give it to the kid. Most people wouldn’t have noticed him. He could’ve followed and taken notes for months before anyone recognized him. But I wasn’t anybody. Still, I figured he was one of them. I wanted to leave that part of my life behind and start over, but the pressure was immense with a pint-sized parole officer snooping around. That night, I didn’t see him. It was freezing outside, but inside, it was unbearable. I didn’t sleep with blankets anymore. Instead, I lay on the couch in summer clothes, having nightmares about my childhood. I woke with a jolt, clutching my chest. I leaned forward, clasping my hands around my neck, trying not to dwell on the pain. The nauseating anguish of an undeserved beating haunted me and pulled me apart, leaving me to pick up pieces of myself every night. That night, I laughed. I laughed because I was exhausted, sore, and sweaty. I would’ve spiraled, focusing only on the pain, had it not been for a strange sliver of light in the mostly dark living room. I looked toward the fire escape, feeling a strange sense of comfort. It felt like a sign that everything would be alright.

I heard a high-pitched shriek and a clanging sound like metal on metal. I stood up before realizing what I was doing and found myself standing on my fire escape in the rain, pulling the little boy up by his jacket. I pulled him up, and his legs gave. He crumpled, and I threw him over my shoulder. Thunder crackled, shaking the building, and he groaned. I couldn’t leave him outside on the metal fire escape to get electrocuted, so I took him inside. I carried him to my room and changed him into a dry sweatshirt. He stirred before raising a hand to me, and I caught his little wrist in my fist.

“Don’t call the police,” he panicked. I raised an eyebrow before laughing at him. The laugh built from a chuckle to a hollering roar once I saw the wide-eyed, slack-jawed look on his face. His face was so round and immature. He couldn’t have been Barry’s grandson. He was so small up close. His fear shifted to confusion, and my shirt slipped off his shoulder.

He shivered, and I let go of him to grab a towel. I heard him shift once I turned my back. “Sit down. I’m not gonna call the cops,” I reassured him, “Do you like tea?”

“Like sweet tea?” he asked weakly. I chuckled and shook my head.

“Stay put. You’re not in any trouble. I’ll take you home once you’re warmed up,” I replied, “And put those sweats on. I’ll be back in a minute.”

I left him alone in my room and put the tea kettle on the stove. He stumbled into the kitchen behind me, holding the hem of his shirt and the waistband of his sweatpants in his fist. “Pull the waistband as far as it goes and put it around your neck,” I explained. He did as I said, watching me with uncertain eyes. I pulled a chair over and invited him to sit near the kitchen island. The color hadn’t returned to his cheeks, and his head drooped forward. Almost dying took a lot out of the kid. I opened a bag of chips and passed it to him. “Where are your folks?”

“Don’t have any,” he answered.

Despite the fatigue, his eyes kept steady contact with mine. He wasn’t lying. “Where do you live?” I asked. He didn’t answer. I had hundreds of questions for the kid, but they weren’t my priority. “How old are you supposed to be?”

“I’m supposed to be fourteen,” he answered.

The kettle whistled, and I turned my back. “It’s late for a kid your age to be out peeping in windows,” I teased, “I should’ve known you didn’t have anybody to go home to… Or they’re not paying enough attention. I get the feeling you have folks, but you don’t wanna go home to them. I recognize your face. You look a lot like Barry’s-.” I turned to give him his tea and smiled at him. He lay fast asleep over the counter, breathing hard, almost snoring. I set the cup on the other side of the counter and carried him to bed.

My questions could wait until the morning. I draped blankets over the kid, and he rolled onto his stomach. “Sleep tight, little guy,” I whispered. I returned to the kitchen, drank his tea, and slept on my couch. The pitter-patter and drip-drops, the crackles and booms, and the noise of my neighbors and the fire escape faded away. I slept through the night feeling something I’d never felt before. Comfort.

*

I caught the boy trying to sneak out in the morning and grabbed the back of his sweatshirt before picking him up and holding him at arm’s length like a baby. He struggled and scratched, lashing out like a feral cat, but he didn’t scream. He didn’t make much noise. Not at all. “Hey… Hey, I’m gonna put you down, but you’ve gotta calm down and let me help you. I need to know why you’ve been following me. I’m not gonna hurt you,” I reassured him. He stopped fighting, and I set him down, straightening his sweatshirt.

He wrung his little scarred fists. “I wanted to meet the person who-. You’re the reason I’m here… And I want to know why,” his little voice broke. I nodded, but I didn’t understand. “You thought I was Bart.”

“You’re smaller than him… He looked like that the last time I saw him, but he should be older now,” I whispered, “Who are you?”

“I’m a clone… Of Bart... I was supposed to finish what you started. I was supposed to kill the Allens, and I failed,” he answered, “And you quit! Why didn’t you do it yourself? Why is all the pressure on me? I shouldn’t even-!” I shushed him. “I shouldn’t even be here. I’m alone because of you. I exist because of you. It’s all your fault that I have no one.” He whispered the last part.

I sat on the arm of the couch and listened to the kid while he explained what he was and where he came from. “Hey… Okay… That’s a lot. You’re fourteen... Right? Let-. Let me help you. I want to help, okay?” I asked. I felt awful “Why would you wanna help me?” he snapped.

My hands shook as I heard the question. The kid might’ve looked like Barry’s grandson, but he sounded like me when I was his age. “You’re a little weirdo. I was a little weirdo, too. An oddball. I was an oddball as a kid,” I tripped over my words. “You can stay here until you let me take you home.”

“I don’t need-.”

“You need a legal guardian. You need a family, and I don’t have one-.”

“You don’t understand. I hate you,” the kid interrupted.

“Hate me all you want, but you’re fourteen with no family. I want you to stay put. You can’t be homeless. I can’t let you be homeless… Okay? I need you to falsify some documents saying you’re my kid and that your mom is missing or something-.”

“Why?” he questioned.

“Because I’ll be able to explain why you’re here when my neighbors see you… And I don’t have money to take care of you, but I can take care of you-. I need to be able-. I want to help you. My job takes care of me, but I’ve gotta take care of you because I owe you,” I stammered. His eyes widened, and he opened his mouth to argue, but nothing came out. “No argument?”

“I don’t feel well,” he replied. I smiled and rustled a hand through his thick blond curls. He swatted my hand away.

“Sorry… Hey, what’s your name?” I asked.

“I’m named Thaddeus Thawne after the president-.”

“President?” I asked.

“Yeah, but he’s-. Well, I-. It’s hard to explain,” Thaddeus replied. It was a big name for such a small kid.

“What do you like to be called? People tried to call me Mack when I was a kid, and I didn’t let it stick because I preferred Malcolm. After all, the people that called me Mack were never friendly enough to me to be that familiar with me,” I explained.

“Thad is fine,” he answered.

I felt sick in the pit of my stomach looking at him. I couldn’t blame him for hating me. He was under immense pressure to finish what I started. I still couldn’t help but see myself in him. His loneliness. His anger. His longing. I figured I could fix things by being the person I needed when I was his age. So it began. Two Thawnes. Blood Allens.

[hollers-and-holmes]

Tag Nine People You Want To Know Better

Tagged by: @allisonreader aww thanks dear, you’re a sweetheart to think of me 💜

Favorite colour: whites, neutrals and natural-tones for nesting purposes, grays and buckskins for a horse, besides that green green GREEN green green my goodness if it grows out of of the dirt that is the color for me.

Currently reading: Everything reeeaaaallllyy slowly so don’t take this list too seriously. 2nd Samuel, On Earth As It Is in Heaven by Douglas Wilson, The Pilgrim’s Progress by John Bunyan, usually get in some Morning and Evening by Spurgeon most days, no novels currently though I re-read a Cormac McCarthy last month, The Strange Redemption of Thaddeus Thawne (fanfic) by @brown-little-robin, a whole heap of other shorter fics in various fandoms at any given time, everything my writing buddy Hollers throws at me, Mustangs by Marguerite Henry with my oldest, and various cowboy-or-construction-themed board books with the non-oldests sometimes multiple times per day.

Last song: “Redeeming love has been my theme and shall be ‘til I die…”

Last series: I don’t watch much TV on my own but my husband has been on a SEAL Team kick and I cuddle watch with him for a while most nights.

Last movie: eerrrrrr… Sword in the Stone with my kids. Which is a misleading qualifier, because I would totally watch it without my kids, too. (“No mineral or vegetable. Only animal.”)

Sweet, savory, or spicy: I like salt on my salt and salt on my sweet things and have you ever salted your watermelon? It’s fantastic. I’ve also been salting my toast all week because I accidentally bought unsalted butter. Unless I’m mistaken this puts me in the savory camp.

Currently working on: Learning to make goat cheese. Also learning to teach humans how to read. Also learning how to not drown in an indomitable landslide of laundry. Also learning how to do all these things cheerfully without complaining or grumbling (the real Everest). Also my largish collaborative AU project with my dear friend Hollers. It’s super weird but we’re enjoying ourselves. Have about 120,000 words worth up on AO3 (mostly interconnected shorts and one-shots) and probably two or three times that churning away in WIPs. Writing with a buddy is wonderful, guys, I recommend it.

Thanks for the tag! I’m not sure who all has done this but if you see this and would like to, consider yourself stamped by me.

[brown-little-robin]

okay, look, at this point I'm just embracing that this story is slice of life. literally ZERO plot takes place in this next chapter of The Strange Redemption of Thaddeus Thawne. but it's good.

I missed writing Thad so much....

[brown-little-robin]

⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡

It's Official!

The Strange Redemption of Thaddeus Thawne will be 63 chapters long! I have an exact chapter count!

As a little celebration of this milestone, here, have a preview of the working chapter titles:

Interlude: Cell Phone

The Blue Room

The White Room

Therapy

The Party

Father Figure

Killer (Croc)

Gotham Rain (part one)

Gotham Rain (part two)

Gotham Rain (part three)

The Black Flash

Searcher

Running on Ice

Slip and Fall

Regression

Redemption

Bonus:

Epilogue: Three Crashes the Party

[brown-little-robin]

Thad stop interrupting sincere moments with morbid jokes challenge

[brown-little-robin]

⚡ I've changed the title of my fanfiction document several times since I've started it. This overview may give you an idea of the major arcs in my longfic, Strange Redemption! It's also full of (somewhat vague, somewhat not) spoilers, though, so proceed with caution if spoilers matter to you!

"The Strange Redemption of Thaddeus Thawne": chapters 1-16. (Thaddeus "Thad" Thawne, a little evil clone, is spat out physically unchanged seven years after he chose to run away instead of killing the hero he was cloned from. The family he used to hate is... very nervous, but Thad doesn't want to kill anyone anymore. He is also very very traumatized and doesn't know how to function. This first part deals with his initial depression and paranoia.)

"Max's House": chapters 17-34. (By this point, Thad has settled in a bit, but things are still rocky. He's slowly looking into getting himself out of the family, somewhere he feels safe, away from all these heroes he was created to kill or be killed by. Simultaneously, though, he's learning to trust Max, the closest thing to a father figure that he has, and to slowly accept and work around his limitations.)

"Butterfly Boy": chapters 35-42. (Thad's lack of a sense of safety comes to a head, and he desperately demands to be let go. At this point, the family (Max in particular) has recognized that he needs to feel safe and it can't be with them. Thad works on goodbyes and relationships and just... sheer survival, emotions-wise.) I named this arc Butterfly Boy because in chapter 35, Thad likened himself to a caterpillar in a chrysalis, liquefying itself in order to transform, in danger of remaining a sad little pile of bug goop forever.

"Safety...? Really...?": chapters 43-??? (Thad is in a new place with a new guardian, and his superpowers have... changed. Things are overwhelming and new. He's never felt so happy in his life. He's never cried so much in his life. These things are not mutually exclusive.)

[brown-little-robin]

What to do: Copy to a new post and bold themes in your WIP. Italicize ones loosely covered.

@swinging-stars-from-satellites, thanks for the tag! I'm going to do this for The Strange Redemption of Thaddeus Thawne. And since there are so many main themes of Strange Redemption in here, I'm making the absolute most important themes purple!

addiction | beauty | betrayal | change vs. tradition | chaos vs. order | choosing life | circle of life | coming of age | communication | community | convention vs. rebellion | corruption | courage | crime and law | dangers of ignorance | darkness and light | death | desire to escape | dreams | displacement | empowerment | facing darkness | facing reality | faith vs. doubt | fall from grace | fame and fortune | family | fate | fatherhood | fear | fear of failure | free will | freedom | friendship | fulfillment | good vs. bad | government | grace | greed | guilt and forgiveness | hard work | heroism | hierarchy | honesty | hope | identity crisis | immortality | independence | individual vs. society | inner vs. outer strength | innocence | injustice | isolation | knowledge vs. ignorance | life | loneliness | long road home | lost love | love | man vs. nature | manipulation | materialism | mercy | motherhood | nature | nature vs. nurture | oppression | optimism | peer pressure | perseverance | poverty | power | power of words | prejudice | pride | progress | quest | racism | rebirth | reconciliation | relationships | religion | responsibility | revenge | sacrifice | secrets | self-awareness | self-preservation | self-reliance | servanthood | social class structure | survival | technology | temptation and destruction | time | totalitarianism | weakness | vanity | war | wealth | wisdom of experience | youth

tagging @isfjmel-phleg and whoever else is writing right now!! I, too, always forget who has writing in progress and wants to be tagged.

[brown-little-robin]

Hi, How are you Robin??

So I love your writing and character dialogue! And very cute the relationship that Joseph has with Thad, they are my favorite blondes :) I give my heart for them, Thad too and a baby in person. I'm from Brazil, I'm always dying to translate your stories and I don't miss any chapter♡ I love The Strange Redemption so much and I hope there are more chapters about it! And I started to follow it since 2022, quite recently, that's because it was my beginning joining baby Thad's fandom... So I still haven't read impulse but one day I'll see if I can take a few days to read this beautiful baby's comics also! Congratulations on your writing!!! She's wonderful. Kisses<3

Hi Matt!! 💜💜💜

This ask has brought me a lot of joy during a stressful week. Thank you so much for that, and for being brave and reaching out. It means a whole lot to me to hear that you love my Thad and his story.

And this fic was one of the first ones to introduce you to Thad Thawne? That's awesome!! I write the story because I love him and he breaks my heart, and I'm always surprised and delighted to hear that people fall in love with him through my writing. Thad's such a little angry kitten, he needs people to love him. I'm glad you've fallen for him.

(and you love my writing?? thank you so much?? I'm just out here writing this ridiculously long story and hoping it's a joy more than a burden to people 😭💚)

If you want to translate part (or all) of The Strange Redemption of Thaddeus Thawne, I'd be honored!! As long as you link people to my original fic I'm totally okay with it! So: Yes! Please! Go for it! But only at your own pace, okay? <3

Also yes, if you get the time to someday read Impulse (especially the Mercury Falling arc: issues #62-67) I know you'll love it. It's just. SO sweet and heartbreaking 😭😭😭

*blows kisses in your general direction*

[brown-little-robin]

Clones in order of creation

I'm just going to... set another clones chart here... okay, major spoilers under the cut...

Preface: Four's backstory came to me in a lightning-strike moment today. He was President Thaddeus Thawne's special favorite clone, created to be Thawne's confidante/unequal partner on the clones project. Four got given lots of privileges and has his fingers in almost all of the clones who came after him.

[image description: a discord message saying the following:

Okay the numbers are really confusing, so in creation order, the clones are:

1. Two, the original clone; lost in the speed force for seven years; assumed dead by the Thawnes

2. Ten, the one who killed Bart and got stuck in the museum as a living statue

3-6. unnamed four other clones, all killed by Wally and Bart

7. Eight, who died of a terminal illness before Two emerged from the speed force but comes back later

(The first 7 clones were Pres. Thawne acting on his own, testing out how much he could do to the timeline without breaking it.)

8. Four, our darling highly-favored DID system

9. Five, with a dash of the Reverse Flash (Eobard)'s genetics. Escaped the Thawnes before he was deployed and proceeded to attempt to wreck all of Four's projects.

10. Three, a product of Four's mercy. Found out Two was alive, defected successfully.

11-14. Unnamed four more clones killed by Five.

15. Seven, a product of Four's cruelty. Rescued by Five, but not before being stuck with—

16. Nine, a drunken throwaway project by President Thawne.

Six isn't on the list because he wasn't created by the Thawnes.

]

[brown-little-robin]

tagged by: @called-kept ( thank you friend! <333 )

rules: post the last seven sentences from one of your WIPs! i’m not going to say it has to be the absolute last seven sentences you’ve written - just from something you’re still working on.

potential spoiler warning: this is from The Strange Redemption of Thaddeus Thawne chapter 41. There's nothing too spoiler-y in it; that just depends on how you interpret it I guess :)))

They could have had the rest of their lives together.

Max reaches the place where Thad’s lair rests empty below an ugly expanse of industrial rubble and stops. He can’t go down there right now. He needs a second to collect all this grief and put it away.

Max wanders over to a familiar concrete block and touches the rebar sticking out of it. The bloodstain is gone, he notes. It must have been washed away by the rain.

no-pressure tags for friends in case they want to join in: @isfjmel-phleg, @swinging-stars-from-satellites, @thatfriendlyanon, @fruitbatvampiresociety! and feel free to just do this and tag me, I'd love to see more seven-sentence fragments!

[brown-little-robin]

@isfjmel-phleg just a small segment for this one...

The boy stirs. Max’s heart beats faster. He gets ready to talk Thad down from a panic, catch him if he tries to run, or defend himself from an attack if necessary. Thaddeus is a good boy, but waking up like this—defenselessly splayed on a concrete slab with no memory of how he got here—is going to awaken his hair-trigger fight-or-flight instinct.

The boy scrunches his eyes tightly closed. He lifts his arm and throws it across his face.

In his raspy just-woke-up voice, he groans, “CRAYDL, turn down the lights.”

Oh, baby boy…

Max and Joseph share a pained look. Max may be giving Thad up to Joseph, but they’re both replacements for his original caretaker.

Max tries to find words to preserve Thad’s dignity.

“Are you awake?”

[brown-little-robin]

👀 - A piece of lore you’ve been waiting for an excuse to share

and

🎧 - What are the first three songs on the playlist?

for Strange Redemption!!

Thanks for the ask!!!

👀 - A piece of lore you’ve been waiting for an excuse to share

SO MANY! But okay, here's a fun one: Four has Dissociative Identity Disorder, and although I'm going to strive for complete accuracy to the actual lived experience of this disorder as much as I can, I couldn't resist the opportunity to separate his identity into "Thad", "Thaddeus", and "Inertia". One Strange Redemption reader (hi Rebekah) has already pointed out that the name I use for Thad Thawne in the narration changes based on his mental state: Thad for regular life, Thaddeus when he's Trying To Be A Good Soldier, and Inertia when he's panicking. With Four, the division between Thad and Thaddeus and Inertia will be more complicated... and more complete. Thad doesn't have access to Thaddeus or Inertia's memories, et cetera.

Information about the Thad Four system! Fun fact: the Thad Four system considers "Thad" their core/host, but are actually unsure which of them existed first. (hard to piece together a timeline when your whole problem stems from a memory based disorder.) "Thaddeus" is the "oldest" (acts the most mature); he's a protector and the most emotionally stable of them. "Thad" is a bit younger and more emotionally open than Thaddeus. "Inertia" is the "youngest"—not that he split later, but that he acts younger, and he's the one who behaves the most obsessively (intensely focused on physical activity and handicrafts). "Inertia" probably holds at least some access to their most traumatic memories, because he's prone to act out. And then there's an alter that the others don't like much because he messes up their image of Having It All Together; he's apparently nonverbal and a complete pain to clean up after (he throws tantrums or melts down or something? they're not sure?). That last alter probably holds their traumatic memories and doesn't front very often.

Thad Four is one person, and (this is a covert disorder!) acts like it... most of the time. Some of his closest friends don't even know about his DID. But also, he very much has at least three separate sets of memories, and despite his best efforts at integration, his alters don't blur into each other much.

🎧 - What are the first three songs on the playlist?

Well this is complicated, because I have ten Strange Redemption playlists (one for each clone, one for the fic in general, and one to collect songs that OTHER people send me for Strange Redemption!) But let's go with the one I use for writing: the Two playlist.

The first three songs are all about feeling inadequate. This is because the playlist goes in chronological order according to Thad's arc in the fic, and his journey starts with confronting the fact that he is unable to pretend to be okay anymore.

oh no! by Marina and the Diamonds (I feel like I'm the worst / So I always act like I'm the best / I'm gonna live, I'm gonna fly / I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna die)

Rob Cantor // I'm Gonna Win (Sometimes I get flustered and beaten and blistered / Abandoned outside in the cold / You've seen me before, you'll see me again / But I'm gonna win, I'm gonna try / I'll never lose, I'll never die)

Swimming Pool by Young Waters (If life is a swimming pool, how do I swim? / Something in the water makes my eyes sting / so much, is it me, am I the one at fault? / Or is there something wrong with the water?)

from this ask game! (thanks again! I really enjoyed writing this)

[brown-little-robin]

⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡

Update on Strange Redemption:

I have spring break next week. If I can make a detailed outline for the next arc of Strange Redemption by the end of spring break, I'll go back to a biweekly update schedule for Strange Redemption.

It's been so long...!

⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡

[brown-little-robin]

research for Strange Redemption

[brown-little-robin]

At long last, the not-at-all-awaited... CLONES GENEALOGY.

EDIT! I forgot Seven’s actual backstory, RIP. He’s part Bart Allen Clone and part alien cat/shark creature. I had him stuck next to Nine in the genealogy because they grew up as twins. but they’re actually as genetically distinct as two clones of the same person CAN be.

EDIT TWO: Now with color coding!! I am mad with power! Also before someone @s me for the terrible made-up word, “Gengineered” is the canon word that Thaddeus Thawne II, “Two”, used to describe the way that Thawne DNA was spliced into him at his creation.