#Ameraexit

[darthbreezy]

So today I effectively received 'the codes' if I chose my personal nuclear option to leave the US...

I'm not going to lie, as a naturalized immigrant I'm more than a little worried. I may not be high on the deportation list, but I'm not immune. So I've been putting out 'feelers', looking at housing options in the UK, getting my citizenship papers in order, deciding what I could take with me, what I'd leave behind'... Looking at how much it would cost to bring the cats over... Stuff like that. It's in part to help me feel like I have SOME control over my life. In the next three months I have to see a Nephrologist AND a Hematologist AND a fucking Oncologist because apparently having Heart Failure AND COPD AND Rheumatoid Arthritis (that has has given me nodules in my lungs, thank you very much! ) Isn't enough. It doesn't help that my roommate can't keep a job for more than a fucking week either, so 'we're' relying on my Social Security (HAHHAHAHA!) So 10 years of awesome credit has gone down the toilet in two months...

We're behind on rent, again.

I've managed to wiggle and wrangle the full amount every month, but it gets harder each month. Thursday, we got the dreaded 'reminder' notice, and today I took in the partial payment I'd scraped up. I just cried when I talked to our incredibly kind property manager, begging for a little more time and begging them not to evict us...

That's when she dropped the bomb and gave me the codes. Apparently eviction takes years, and it's insanely expensive (for them). There are people who owe thousands, and haven't said boo, they just squat... If I wanted to completely go scorched earth, I could just not pay - save every dime, not look back and leave everyone high and fucking dry... Yeah, there's a vicious part of me that loves the idea. I'd be a liar if I said otherwise... but I just... can't. *sighs*

Onward...