#And who didn't made an stupid joke that later regret and educate himself to not doing again

[magnificent-winged-beast]

What are these?

"Misha made a slavery joke. Taliban ones. Rape. Transphobic. Admitted entering in places illegally. Joked ab how kids don't touch him at GK. Said he felt himself become Paul from filming Karla. Joked ab being"

https://twitter.com/Stileshalenski/status/1646663985775751169?s=20

I don't know dude. Ask him?

I suppose that, as many humans that got the indecency of being young and stupid. Or not being in tune with every aspect of other people's experiences in life as if by implying some dumb joke about the awesomeness of the coliseum, and not thinking about you or other modern slaves that could take it personal. He opened his mouth, or use his fingers on the Blue bird and BAM! gave you material to be canceled years in the future. Hurray!

The other thing about touching kids, I think comes from your personal journal.

So go to your favorite nasty blog and cancel him, if it makes you happy.

I'll be here counting the days till the next arrest because drunk and violent behavior, or the news about another ambivalent tattoo the Tall one put on his body. But hey! No worries everything has an excuse for him. That Canon tattoo thing isn't what THEY make you believe, and he did it because he is pure and a very intelligent guy.

So when a tattoo of an swastika appears on his neck, you can believe that is going to be a maize. Or Because it's him we have to accept he did it for the Profound spiritual Buddhist significance.

And if you are asking accountability for my Blorbo. Why don't you explain this from yours...

[sheresh0y]

Mar'eyce Introduces:

Ro Donetta-Awaud: He/Him, 30-ish

Along with his family:

Dagon Donetta-Awaud: He/Him, 28-ish

Tann Donetta-Awaud: 11-ish

Kato Donetta-Awaud: 5-ish

Ellis Donetta-Awaud: 5-ish

A/N: I decided to go balls to the wall with the rest of these characters. So much backstory. All of it. I'm dumping it right here. Drabbles will added, moodboards whenever the fancy strikes. The rest of Arumorut has had their stories told at this point in the story so, fuck it, whatever. I love these OCs too much and I'm screaming it from rooftops, baby. I know suck at writing children and these Awaud children are definitely come across as way too old but go with me on this. I also left the children's pronouns empty because I'm not entirely sure what they're all trying to tell me yet. I'll update it when they let me know.

Warnings: This fic and AU is 18+ for a reason. Mentions of parental death, swearing, slavery and unwanted children mentions. Ro's a little sad boy under all that armor.

Read from the beginning: Mar'eyce Masterlist

Ro Doneeta was born to Volya and Rol Doneeta, Twi'lek freedom fighters turned Rebels. When Ro had turned four, his parents went a on a routine trip for supplies and never came home. He was adopted shortly after by Kai and Ilyah, a quickly and quietly whispered pact made by the only two parents in their corner of The Rebellion after one too many close calls.

"Take care of them, for us. Please."

The Awauds openly encouraged Ro to participate in Twi'lek culture. Just because he was a Mandalorian now didn't mean he stopped being a Twi'lek as well. The entire clan learned Ryl and Kai and Ilyah found mentors for him to teach him the things they couldn't. They were never sure if they did right by their son, but they tried their best.

After the Awauds retired from the war and were sent back to Arumorut, when Ro and Kaiyah were sixteen, Ro threw himself into the deep end of medicine. It wasn’t humble in the way that Ba’buir was, he didn’t want to train the clan in first aid or help children with their sniffles. Ro had lost so much to the galaxy and this was his fuck you.

First, his ryma and kora, then his lek, now his buir. Kai’buir was physically there, but mentally, emotionally they were nowhere to be found. It was like he had died without dying. Ro decided he was going to fix it all, no one in his family was dying again. Nobody was getting left behind. For everything the galaxy took from Ro, he was going to drag back to this life with his bare hands.

After a few months of shadowing Ba'buir Nejaa, Ro was decided to pursue medical school on Naboo. It was a relatively peaceful planet, since tourism was most of the economy they were malleable to whoever was in charge. This meant that Ro couldn't just walk around anywhere. The Empire was still standing and he was a Mandalorian who may or may not be wanted.

Ba'buir Nejaa said no immediately. Their reasoning was the armor. Armor was important, every Mandalorian wore it all the time. The only reason Nejaa didn't anymore was because Kaiyah needed a new set and they had gifted their set to her. Ro didn't have this exception so he tried a compromise: he would wear the chest plate under his clothes. The plate was the biggest piece of armor he had and helped the most with regulating his temperature anyway. It wasn't comfortable but it was the best he could come up with.

About four years into his medical education, Ro met Dagon through some mutual friends. It was terror at first sight, the poor Zabrak man was missing nearly all of his right ear and Ro knew it was his fault. His stupid plan to fight an Aryx head-on had consequences he didn't full think of at the time.

Try as he might to avoid Dagon, it didn't matter. It was like the up and coming designer was everywhere, Dagon seemed to have his own gravity and Ro was quickly pulled in.

It didn't take long for them to fall in love, by the third official date Dagon was asking Ro to move in and by the fifth they were married. For his part, Dagon took everything Mandalorian related in stride. He barely blinked when Ro explained soulmates and the reasons they were both all scarred up on the first date. He just asked if 'his Mandalorian' had anyone to take care of him.

When Ro graduated school, not quiet a doctor but close enough, the couple had a long talk about the future. They both knew they wanted kids but The Empire was still looming. It wasn't safe for Mandalorians to be openly walking around and they were both faced with the thought it might never be. Dagon understood that his children would be raised Mandalorian. It was close to the way Zabraki culture was. Clans, fighting, it made sense for the most part. Even though he had parted he had parted ways with his family, Dagon knew Ro couldn't do that.

He had been officially introduced to most of the Awaud clan when Ro had graduated, Dagon threw a little get together in honor of his riduur and the only people on Ro's must invite list was his family. They had a bond that went closer than blood and Dagon knew his clan of two needed to do.

He moved the clan of two back to Arumorut, using the ship that Nejaa and Kaiyah brought to move the stuff that Dagon couldn't or wouldn't sell, Ro never seemed to hold on to much.

Ro was furious, initially. Dagon had plans, big plans, to be a designer and he was right at the cusp of finally getting his own line. Moving back to Arumorut would be a step back for his career or end it entirely. In Ro's mind, he could at least play security while Dagon chased his dreams and then they could settle down wherever. It didn't matter to Ro as long as he got to see his family regularly, somewhere Mid or Outer Rim, he didn't want to be too far in case of an emergency.

The move ended up being the best thing to happen to them, not a month after settling in Kaiyah brought home a little Twi'lek girl. She couldn't have been older than five, but with her malnutrition it was hard to guess and she didn't know. She didn't even have a name and barely spoke Huttese.

They named her Tann, for hope.

A year later, while debating on putting their names with an adoption agency now that The New Republic existed and Ro could get his record expunged since his Rebel activities were no longer deemed as 'treason' or 'terrorism', the twins fell in their laps. A woman had shoved the babies on Jax, who was working on a bounty at the time, she said she couldn't take care of them and knew that the Mandalorians could. Jax didn't have a soulmate at the time and knew that the Donetta-Awauds were thinking about adopting again, so he asked if they would like to add the Zabraki twins to their family. The boys couldn't have been more than a few months old, their skin was more pink than the vibrant red it now was.

Kato, for Dagon's father. Even if they didn't talk he still liked the name.

Ellis, for Ro's buir. It was her clan name before she joined Kai.

Ro knew he made the right choice when Kai-buir cried. It sounded terrible at the time, like he enjoyed making his father cry, but it was such a relief to find out that he could. That Kai wasn't entirely gone, just not always there.

Ro still asks Dagon if he regretted it. Losing his fashion line, being a boring tailor to people who didn't really need a tailor. On those days Dagon holds Ro closer, his chin resting on his Mandalorian's head, "Never. Not once. I've never been happier than when I'm with you. 'Boring tailor' and all. Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum, cyare."

^ Ro in his full armor. Isn't he a handsome boy?

Translations & Other Headcanons:

Ryma: Ryl, mother

Kora: Ryl, father

Buir: Mando'a, parent

Kai-buir: Mando'a, masc parents typically go by the first three letters of their name followed by 'buir'. The Donetta-Awaud children don't really follow this rule since they have one Buir and one Edalinare (Zabraki, family).

Ba'buir: Mando'a, grandparent

I headcannon Ro as a doctor who did all the bookwork, but never the internships which I believe is eight-ish years of school? Correct me if I'm wrong I just wanted to keep the timeline in some kind of order for myself (leaving Arumorut at sixteen + eight years of school leaves Ro somewhere near 24 when they have Tann, 25 for the twins). I also know that half the stuff Ro does in Arumorut a unlicensed doctor could never do in real life, but in his mind it got him close enough to what he wanted to do, hence the joke about 'not a doctor but close enough'. He was pretty over med school, honestly. Besides, he learned the good stuff from Nejaa (who is nowhere near doctor status, think closer to field medic/EMT who has Seen Some Shit).

Riduur: Mando'a, spouse

Tann: Ryl, hope

Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum, cyare: Mando'a, I know you forever, beloved.

In my brain, Dagon is like 6'4", 6'5"-ish and Ro is a short king comparatively coming in at a hot 5'8", 5'9" (he swears up and down he's a solid 5'10". He's not.) Ro is almost always little spoon and doesn't mind it one bit.

I feel like I need to add a disclaimer: did I accidentally create Numa and her uncle with Tann and Ro? Yes, yes I did. Do I really care at this point? No, because it makes moodboards easy. Numa and her family belong to Disney and Lucasfilms, I did not create them and I don't want anyone to think I did. That arc plus the fact she shows up in Rebels makes me cry.

[tcportfoliomgj]

Saturday, 5th of June, 2021

"What demon possessed me that I behaved so well? - Henry David Thoreau (1854/2017)

In high school, I wasn't exactly a great student. Or easy, for that matter. Even in primary school, my teacher would call my parents after the first period. During parent-teacher conferences, they would schedule my mom in the last slot, that way they had enough time. I didn't have my diagnosis back then and I was smart enough to keep up without too much trouble. But I did talk back to teachers, especially when I felt they were being unjust. This only got worse in high school.

Before I got my ADHD diagnosis, my high school teachers thought I had ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). I can't blame them, though, especially looking back now. I was very argumentative, I still am, but I'm not always like that. When I felt like things were unfair, I wasn't able to let that go. I had a lot of very authoritarian teachers, who put themselves way above their students. Having authority is one thing, but that doesn't make you more of a person, or a better person, or a more important person. I didn't do well with those kinds of teachers, especially when they also taught a subject that I strongly disliked.

In high school I had a mathematics teacher, let's call him Mr E., who I didn't get along with very well. I never liked math. I wasn't particularly bad at it, but during the first few years of high school I didn't keep up with it very well, so I was behind compared to most students. Mr E. was the kind of teacher that would say things were easy, while I was really struggling with them. We didn't like each other much, and it kept getting worse over the years. It got to the point where he wasn't willing to help me anymore, and I wasn't willing to work anymore. I remember I once missed a class because I was sick and when I asked him to explain something I missed, he said no. He told me to look it up on YouTube and to deal with it myself. I also remember a time where I wasn't willing to do anything, we got into a big argument in front of the whole class and he sent me away. I packed my back, told the class "good luck in here in hell" on my way out and slammed the door shut.

Now, at teachers college, I often joke that I wasn't an exemplary student, but I don't think people realise how difficult I actually was. In my defence, there are still quite some cases I think I was right. I also don't regret standing up for myself against unfair teachers, I just didn't always go about it the right way. There were a lot of incidents in my high school days. I got sent out of class a lot, got a lot of detention and made quite a few enemies. But I wasn't a lost cause, even if Mr E. thought I was. I managed to pass my math exams, even though I stopped attending my math classes during my last year in high school. I was willing to work for teachers who did try their best for me. I loved English, history and art, and the teachers that taught me were very willing to help me, support me and encourage me. They challenged me and engaged me, and so I was very much willing to put in the effort and go the extra mile for them. I felt seen by them and that's all I really wanted, especially during those years in my life.

Mr E. wasn't the only teacher I had a rocky relationship with. My economics teacher, Mr B., didn't exactly get along with me either. He often got angry with me in front of the whole class when I forgot my books and notebooks. This happened a lot. I felt very humiliated, but I turned that into anger and frustration. He knew about my diagnosis and when I tried to explain to him that I really tried not to forget my things, he told me he understood but that I shouldn't forget them anymore. It infuriated me. I didn't feel understood, or seen or acknowledged. As an angsty teen who was dealing with depression on top of her ADHD, it was really hard.

I think almost everyone knows that I struggled with math this year as well and I will admit, I was part of the problem. However, I didn't plan on things turning out like this. As I mentioned before, I struggle with mathematics because there's a lot of gaps in my knowledge. The math classes here at TC and the PABO is mostly about teaching math and not so much about the math itself. It makes it interesting, but also difficult. Because how do you teach a subject you don't fully understand? Or maybe even barely understand? Janneke and Danny would talk about some math exercises for primary schoolers and I would struggle with them. They would say something along the lines of "they're being taught this in group 5" or "it's pretty easy", and in those moments I wanted the earth to swallow me whole. Because I didn't understand, because I struggled, because I felt really stupid. I didn't ask for help, that's definitely my fault, but I also didn't feel very encouraged to ask for help. Lots of students asked questions by sending them emails, and it often happened that Janneke and Danny didn't respond. I was frustrated, but I did try, even though everyone thinks I didn't.

I was at almost every lecture, which is the bare minimum, I know, but something that was actually very hard for me considering being there made me feel quite insecure. I tried to do the assignments. One of the first big assignments was the one where we had to give our own students some math questions without explaining anything to them. Afterwards, we'd have to analyse them. Giving the questions to my students wasn't hard and I didn't mind doing it, seeing some of their answers was really interesting and fun even (appendix 5). When I had to analyse them, however, I began to struggle. I don't hate math, but what frustrates me is that the class isn't very accessible. If you struggle with mathematics, the class will be really challenging.

One of the basic human needs is autonomy (Ryan & Deci, 2002, in Stevens & Bors, 2013, p. 73). However, in a way, autonomy can be seen as a paradox. If you tell a student to be independent and autonomous, and they obey, then they are in fact not being autonomous because they're doing what you told them to do. However, if they do not comply, they continue to be dependent on you. Mariani (1997) approached this subject very well and explains how teachers can promote autonomy. He explains that we need to challenge our students in order to answer their need for autonomy. We support them in order to answer their need for dependence. He then puts this in a framework.

Figure 2. Teaching Style Framework (Mariani, 1997)

The level of autonomy and dependence need to be balanced. A high level of challenge with a low level of support should be avoided. He recalls a moment where he experienced this himself and explains that "the result [...] was anxiety, insecurity, discomfort, and even aggressiveness - not to mention the long-term effect on my self-confidence" (Mariani, 1997). The ideal is a situation with a high level of challenge combined with a high level of support, this way we can create the zone of proximal development (Mariani, 1997). During the math classes, I find myself facing a high level of challenge with a lack of support, and later I discovered I wasn't alone.

I made the decision to not do the math assignments. First of all, I think the subject isn't relevant for quite a lot of students. When I asked my coach why we had math in the first place, she answered that it was mandatory because teachers college is part of the PABO. This isn't very motivating because knowing that it's mandatory doesn't explain why it is. Second of all, this tells us that it is in fact not very relevant for the students who know that they want to continue high school education instead of primary education. I was also told that they scaled up math since last academic year. This is because students in the craftsman phase were lacking knowledge and struggling. Again, this is not very relevant for the students who choose high school education. I understand that I made a choice to do TC, which means experience both levels of education, but we have a significantly high amount of math classes compared to a lot of other subjects.

Secondly, I think the way math is taught isn't in line with teachers college. This also relates to Mariani's framework. At TC we are taught to be better teachers, to support and motivate our students and to be open-minded. Our teachers also play a part in this. What I experience is that the teachers within the core team practice what they preach. I feel like my basic needs are met. I don't feel the same about math and I decided to create a survey (appendix 6). I asked TC students (of all years) to fill it in and 19 of them did. It's not a lot, so maybe not representative for all TC students, but I decided to stop promoting the survey when it caused some commotion (rumours were being spread that it was a survey to get rid of math altogether). But the results of the survey are still very interesting.

Seven out of nineteen students were TC1 students, the other twelve are TC2 or above. Almost all the higher years indicate that they didn't have any assignments or had small ones, but none that involved their internship or took multiple weeks to finish. Nine out of twelve higher years claim that they didn't experience math as stressful at all. Two students found the classes useful. Only one student felt like they had learned something, a few students are neutral in this, but most claim not to have learned much. Most higher years say they do not remember the theory that was taught to them, indicating that the classes weren't even lasting. When asked if they had further comments, many of them said they didn't find the classes meaningful, that they didn't see the value or that they don't remember much from the classes at all. It is clear that they were in one of the low challenge zones, making it either too easy (a low challenge with high support levels) or boring (a low challenge with low support levels).

Now if we take a look at the TC1 students, the answers shift. When asked what kind of assignments they had, they all answer with big assignments that stretched over multiple weeks as well as in-class assignments and presentation. On top of that, it is mandatory for the portfolio (this wasn't the case for the higher years). Five out of seven students experienced the workload as high, the other two were neutral. Six students claim they experienced stress, one is neutral. Some of them do claim to have learned something, or that they experienced it as useful, but I think it's important to remember that for TC1, my year, it is mandatory for our portfolio and so there's more at stake. The workload that TC1 experienced indicated that we're in the high challenge zones. The stress experienced indicated a lack of support, putting us in the anxiety zone.

What did we, as students, do to change this? At first, not a lot, at least not as a collective effort. I know a lot of students email Janneke and Danny with questions or stayed behind after online class but often didn't get answers or help. They experienced low support. When we did come forward as a class, some of us still did not feel seen, or heard. We had a conversation with Janneke and Danny and I experienced it as very frustrating. Just like Mariani (1997), I experienced anxiety, discomfort, insecurity and a level of aggression, the same way I did in high school with Mr E. and Mr B. I felt ready to throw my stuff into my bag and walk out of that room, but I didn't.

Maybe it's closed-minded to not do the math assignments, maybe it even shows a level of disrespect. At the end of the day, I passed my mandatory math test (wiscat) (appendix 7), I learned and did just as much as the students last year (who also passed math) and I refuse to be put in a zone of anxiety when I'm learning, especially when I'm learning how to be a supportive teacher myself.

🎵 ZITTI E BUONI - Måneskin