#As a Genderfuck Dyke I experience both at the same time

[yrbutchgf]

Helloooo I'm a bigender man/woman and I'm bi. I really wanna use the "butch" and "dyke" labels but idk if that seems disrespectful. Could you give me some advice if that's alright? (You totally dont have to if you dont want to 💖)

Hello sorry to send 2 asks but to add onto my last one I'm very feminine in the way I gesticulate and talk. I also like to wear dresses sometimes?? But idk. The label of "dyke" has always really stuck w me since I've tried out different terms to describe myself. (You dont have to answer this one as well if you dont want to)

helloooo! while i can’t tell you whether you ARE butch or whether you ARE a dyke, i can tell you that there is nothing about the way you identify that would prevent you from being able to identify as either of those terms. butch/femme labels are for the entire community, and this includes nonbinary genderfuckers of all kinds. i’m mutuals with a good number of people who are butch and of similar genders to you. there’s room for it; idk if you’ve seen my other posts on butch/femme stuff, but if you haven’t, here’s a post with sources on the subject. you may also really benefit from joining the butch/femme server i mention at the end of the ask -- there are a good number of multigender people in there and they’re all super nice. plus it’s really well-moderated.

on the d slur: given you’re a bi woman, there’s no real reason why you couldn’t reclaim dyke. plenty of multigender people do, including bigender men/women; for example one of my mutuals, who is mlm and wlw, identifies as a fagdyke. there’s nothing about you that should stop you from reclaiming that word for yourself if it brings you joy or heals you. neither this nor being butch would be truly disrespectful to anyone; it’s just respectful to yourself.

on another note, it doesn’t really matter if you gesticulate and talk “femininely” as a butch -- that’s just your mannerisms and personality, and that doesn’t have to change just because you identify a certain way. i feel like i remember seeing some historical docs from like the 70s with pictures of someone who identified as a “faggy butch” with a similar sort of description, but i don’t have a link to it off the top of my head, unfortunately. alternatively, though, if you want to experiment with other terms, you might also enjoy the term futch, which implies either a blurriness of butch and femme (sort of like, both butch and femme at the same time) or a fluidity between them (i.e. sometimes butch and sometimes femme).

this is sort of a wandering answer, but i hope it helps! and again, i really do recommend checking out that butch/femme server if you’re curious. i’m biased but the people in there are really great, they all have such different ways of interacting with gender and the butch/femme/futch labels, and there’s always someone willing/excited to talk about multigender identities. of course i’m also always willing to answer more asks on the subject myself, but it never hurts to get a variety of perspectives!