#Atka I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BUT I NEVER TALK ABOUT YOU

[chaotic-tired-bastard]

OC timeeeee- Atka and Kuruk did a Dumb™

[unstoppableforcce]

slow down

pairing: Poe Dameron x CMO! reader

from the how wonderful series 1 2 3 4

a/n: we’re back after a period of writer’s block with our fav couple, a bit of role reversal as Poe is typically the baby needing love in my writing lol. I hope y’all enjoy!!

Ten soldiers died that day, but only six on the battlefield.

The four others succumbed to their injuries under the aggressive fluorescents of the medical bay, leaving doctors, nurses and med droids coated in their blood instead of the enemies who inflicted the wounds. It was a blood that was always harder to wash off, no matter how long you scrubbed for.

“Doctor...”

Your breath caught in your throat as your held yourself up on the edges of the sink in the staff refresher, mind immediately jumping to the worst news before the poor nurse could even open their mouth. But glancing over your shoulder, you found a look of relief instead of fear etched in their features, and you naively let your shoulders release a breath of the overwhelming tension they held.

“They need you in the command center.” The nurse continued, letting their features turn to a look of sympathy now.

Every shift felt never ending, but this shift much more than the last.

When was the last time you had even slept? Besides stealing a few quiet moments in your office between patients, you hadn’t had much, certainly not a real night of sleep like you deserved, in a real bed, next to the real body you missed so desperately...

You clenched your eyes shut and blew out a shaking breath, all you could see were their eyes. Your last patient had been so young, so undeserving, and bleeding so much more than was recoverable from. The haste of the nurses was commendable, there was back a in your hand the second you asked for it, but it didn’t matter, the poor kid was dead the second their body hit the stretcher. There was nothing you could do but you all tried anyways, maybe that was why it hurt so badly, why you couldn’t wash the blood off in your mind even if your hands were scrubbed clean.

“Doctor, they’ll be starting the briefing—“ The nurse lingered in the doorway, pressing gently and you finally had to give in and nod in response.

“I’m coming.” You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose and sucking in a deep breath as best you could. “Tell them I’m on my way.”

Brushing the hair that had fallen in front of your face back, you quickly tried to recover whatever remained of your composure and wipe away the last of your exhaustion. The mirror quickly reported that you hadn’t been very successful once you met your own eyes in the reflection but you also caught the lingering nurse from behind you, and knew you didn’t have the time to linger on your frazzled appearance.

The briefing. You gave yourself a nod in the mirror and moved out into the hall, beginning the journey out of medical to the command center.

By the time you got there, you found the nurse had been right, they had already started. Attention turned towards you as you tried to silently maneuver your way in to the empty seat at the lengthy conference table, but by the time they noticed it was just you, they turned back to Leia at the head of the table. However, her attention stayed on you.

“Doctor, thank you for coming,” she interrupted herself to say, shifting all of the attention back to you again. “Any news on Private Atka?”

As if you needed a trigger to bring the image of his dead eyes back to the forefront of your brain...

Settling into your seat, you sighed, “I’m sorry, he didn’t make it.”

Leia nodded, with the pose and resilience of a woman who truly understood the weight of the lives which rested on her shoulders, she carried it with a grace you swore you could never know. “I’ll handle the announcements.”

“I appreciate that.”

There was a whole bay of lives that relied on you the way the galaxy relied on her and yet you could feel your shoulders crumpling in on themselves while she held her head high and kept on with the meeting as she was before your entrance interrupted. You couldn’t even escape the low rumbling building in the back of your skull, quickly radiating to the forefront of your head, all from one death while she pressed on. It was more than commendable on her end, it was a failure on your end.

You could feel a stare on you as you rubbed at your temples, forcing you to look back up and actually focus in on the meeting. But it wasn’t a stare of condescension, it was one riddled with care and a weight you could feel across the table, one you knew all too well.

It was Poe...

You knew you must have been out of your head if he had been sat beside Leia the whole time and you hadn’t even noticed, not until now, as his stare was the only one on you instead of the general in the whole conference room.

A full release of tension fell from your shoulders as you caught his eye, relaxing into your chair as the rest of the meeting fell to white noise in the background. You would’ve been more worried if you knew he had been on the mission but he hadn’t been, his ship was in bad shape after the mission two days ago, or at least that was what you overheard in the last briefing you had that morning, you hadn’t actually seen him since he got back two days ago.

He was in much better shape than you were too. His hair was damp like he had recently showered and his uniform actually looked clean, while you couldn’t even remember the last time you had a real shower, not one in a sink, or actually changed your clothes instead of grabbing new scrubs when yours got bloodied...

And his eyes were full of concern.

“Are you okay?” He mouthed silently, still careful and respectful around the briefing you two were sat in the middle of.

If you get capable of it, you would have given him a quick smile and reply, but you couldn’t even muster that. All you could do was offer a quick nod.

He pressed his hand to his chest and gave you a silent nod back, wordlessly saying he loved you with just a simple gesture. And though you couldn’t muster much in the moment, you brought your hand to your chest in much the same way, making sure he saw you before both of you turned back to the meeting.

And almost as quick as you arrived, Leia wrapped it up, providing a few orders and dismissing those around the table. But not you.

“Doctor, can I see you for a second?” She stood up, catching you just before you could slip out back to work. And as she called for you, she grabbed Poe by the sleeve and kept him close as well.

You had to fight against the light crowd of those leaving to make it to the head of the table, watching her whisper to Poe before you could get within hearing distance. And by the time you finally made it to them, the general turned, squeezed your arm gently and moved around you, following the exiting group out of the room ensuring the door shut behind her.

“What was that all about?” You questioned, watching her go, but he grabbed your hand and pulled you close as if he didn’t hear it.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

His hands snakes around you hips, more affectionate than the two of you typically preferred to be while during work, but you were much too tired to try and fight it in any way. You needed his touch. It grounded you the second he had you secured in your arms, and now it was you not hearing him.

“Babe?”

“Hmm? Yeah, I’m fine.” You snapped back to him, placing your hands hesitantly over his arms where they held around your waist. “What did Leia have to say?”

“She said, ‘make sure she gets some sleep’.” He chuckled humorlessly as he nudged his forehead against yours, “I’m starting to think she had a really good point.”

“Is she ever wrong?” You tried, getting a real laugh from him this time.

“Not in my experience.” He admitted, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “Come on, you need some real sleep.”

He pulled back from you, grabbing your hand as he did, trying to pull you out of the office, but you held your ground. “I’ve still got patients—“

“No,” he shook his head and gently tugged on your arm, “you need some real rest, General’s orders.”

Some real rest? So far you couldn’t blink without seeing that kid’s dead stare. And there was too much more work to be done, there were more patients that you couldn’t let end up like him, that was your duty. If Leia could handle the weight of millions, surely you could handle one med bay—

“I can see your wheels turning, babe, but you’ve been on duty for two days straight...” he walked back up to you, rubbing gently against your hand with his thumb. “You need sleep.”

He leaned in to lay a gentle kiss onto your cheek while you shook your head again, “I just need to—“

“Sleep. You need to sleep.” He smiled weakly, “maybe take a shower first, but definitely sleep.”

He tried to pull you again, but you still held your ground, making him nervously chuckle once more.

“What’s going on? Talk to me.” He sighed, refusing to let go.

It sounded so stupid in your head. He was out on the front lines, these were his men who were dying in your med bay, he was the one out there laying his life on the line and you couldn’t handle one death...

It wasn’t your first, it wasn’t going to be your last, but it was sticking with you more than any of the hundred cases you saw in the last two days alone and you didn’t know why. All you knew was that it wasn’t worth his time, nor the general. They were the ones out there leading the army and you couldn’t handle the clean up?

Poe seemed to see the gears in your head still turning and waited patiently for an answer you couldn’t bring past the barrier of your lips. He saw straight through you. “The private?”

You gave a rough nod, “I know it’s just one life out of the whole war...”

“No, don’t minimize this.” He was quick to counter but something was bubbling in your chest, and this was the first time in two days you slowed down enough to let it out.

“He just bled out in my hands...”

“Babe I’m so sorry,” he wrapped his arms back around you and reciprocally wrapped yours around his neck, burying your face in next to his. “It’s not your fault...”

“I know it’s not, Poe...but I... I don’t know why he...”

“You’re tired, it’s okay...” he sighed into your hair, “come on, you need some rest...”

You nodded against him. “And a shower?”

He chuckled again, “yeah, you could probably use one of those too.”

Taking your hand again, he began to lead you out of the room, but one final time, you stopped him before he could open the door and drag you back out into society, stealing one more minute alone with him. “Will you take one with me?”

“Will I?” He stuttered out, cheeks flushing. “Yes... I mean I took one like a half hour ago about yes... yeah—“

“I meant so you could wash my hair for me.”

“I’ll wash whatever you want me to—“

You cut him off with a soft kiss that he couldn’t help but smile into. It was nice to have him back, days apart from him felt like centuries, yet everything else around you, the war and both of your roles in it, felt like they were moving a parsec a minute... each of you moving separately. But you needed this, to slow down, even if it was only for a few hours.

And you were glad you had him to do it with.

Even if he was way too giddy at the prospect of just a shower with you. There was no sense in reminding him the two of you had plenty of sex and that he had seen you naked hundreds of times by now, he still blushed when he folded your undergarments out of the laundry, and you loved him even more for it.

[howlbear]

yknow what? fuck it, we all know the struggle of having characters we never get to play with or talk about, tell us about a few of the ones you got that you probably won't use

Awe this is so sweet of you!!!!

My main one right now is Atka, a dwarven twilight cleric! She is from the Arctic and her major moment was being trapped in ice which is when her Deity saved her, and her hair and eyes changed in the process. Since I haven't gotten to play her I haven't gotten to develop her much but have already made a moodboard and playlist 😅

Reverie is a mark of the storm half elf who is a conjuration Wizard! They come from a coastal town and has dreams of going to the plane of air (their mother is air genasi and want to connect to that side of themselves). Their signature is a cloud skateboard and overall; probably the radest character I've made.

TRX-E is a warforge bard who was made as a line to be essentially nannies for noble families. She has dreams of escaping this life and reconnect with her lost love and make an orphanage to teach the street children what is normally saved for those in privilege

Ah, and my sweet Daneiris. A cloud sorcerer who comes from a hidden air city above the desert. She always loved learning of the natural world and is currently living in the capital city of the desert with her druid wife where they run a booming business of all the flora they have found in their adventures.