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jaehyun-eclipsed · 4 years

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Before I Met You | Twenty-Two: Part One

Next Update: ~February 15, 2021 **2/13/21 update: The next update may be delayed until the second week of March. I apologize for the delay -- school has been quite busy this semester, so I’m working a lot slower than anticipated. Thanks for your patience! **3/27/21 Update: My sincerest apologies. I didn’t plan very well with scheduling... I’m finishing up a big project with school and am hoping to release the next chapter next weekend!

Pairing: NCT (Jaehyun, Lucas, Mark, Jaemin, Johnny) X Reader/OC

Genre: Romance, Angst, Coming of Age

Summary: Four. There were four people before I fell in love with you… Here are their stories.

Author’s Note: Hello! This is a slightly shorter update. Things are getting busy for me again, so I’m going to try to do updates once a month or so rather than going MIA for a few months. Thanks for being patient and don’t be afraid to say hello or send any feedback!

Before I Met You Masterlist

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My eyes slowly open and I blink a few times to adjust to the stream of light coming through the blinds. Sitting up, I look around. This is my room. This is my bed. My blanket. My dog. I give the plush a squeeze. Everything is here and I’m okay.

My breath hitches upon seeing the packages of pistachios and cookies on my desk. Johnny left them here and now everything is more clear as to why I feel so dreary upon waking up. I was hoping last night didn’t play out the way it actually had, but I’m a bit too smart for my own good to trick myself.

I imagine he probably won’t miss them if I didn’t return them to him, but I don’t want them to go stale in my room. Plus, I would like to say goodbye.

Slowly, I place my feet into my slippers and wash up in the bathroom. My grandma wanted to take my dad and me out to lunch to celebrate the end of the semester. I’m looking forward to the meal, but I seem to have lost my appetite. There’s sort of this nerve wracking feeling inside me despite my calm demeanor. Like an overwhelming amount of cortisol is being pumped through my body and I’m working on autopilot to move around and pack up my belongings without feeling any depletion of energy.

Is this what it’s like to have a crush on a boy and to know he returns your affections?

I thought I’d be happier. More giddy.

But really, I’m just nervous. And perhaps it’s because I know there’s a bit of a complication: Johnny still needs to break up with his girlfriend.

All of those corny movie plots with the assholes are brought to my head. The guy never breaks up with his old girlfriend before he gets with the new one. Even in real life, it’s always messy.

“I’ll do it soon,” he says.

“When the time is right,” he says.

But then he never does.

I wanted to hope that this wouldn’t be the case. Which is why I didn’t want anything to go too far last night. And so, I firmly decide that I’m not getting together with him until things are cleared up.

But I really want this to work out. I really do.

Everything will be fine.

I take a deep breath. Smile to myself.

Everything will be just fine.

I receive a text that my dad will be here to pick me up in a half hour. So I grab the snack bags and run upstairs. When Johnny answers the door, he looks surprised to see me, almost as if he had been afraid he scared me off last night and I wouldn’t want anything to do with him ever again.

My gaze falls. “Um, you left these in my room,” I say and hold out the snacks.

It takes him a moment before he takes the packages from me, apparently careful not to brush his hands against mine.

“You don’t want any?” he asks.

I shake my head. “No, thanks. I’m going to lunch soon.”

We linger in the doorway for several more moments in silence. I’m gnawing on my lip and shifting my gaze to different points on the floor. I think Johnny’s watching me, but I still can’t bring myself to look at him.

“Have a good break,” he says, his statement coming out as more of a question due to an uncertainty of what to say.

“Yeah, you too.” I smile lightly and as if out of reflex, I perch up onto my tiptoes and throw my right arm around Johnny’s neck, pulling him close for a hug goodbye. He jumps slightly at my sudden contact, but wraps one arm around my waist. Quickly, I release him, take one last glance, offer a smile, and turn around to walk back to my room.

When I return to my room, I check my phone and see a text from Johnny.

J: do u need help carrying your bags downstairs?

Me: No, that’s okay. I only have a couple bags. I can get them myself

Me: Thanks though

J: np

There’s a pause.

J: I’ll call u tonite?

I nod to myself before typing back a response.

Me: Yeah

Me: Talk to you later

J: :3

“You’re not eating very much,” Dad remarks.

I push a dumpling around on my plate with my chopsticks. “I don’t feel that hungry… even though I do want to eat this.”

“What happened last night?”

I proceed to tell my dad all of the events of last night—Hendery’s unawareness, lunch, the bookstore, the movie, Minji, the confession. I really liked Johnny, but I had no idea how this was going to work out—or even if it would work out.

“Don’t worry too much about it. Things always work themselves out,” he says.

I know what this means. Implicitly, he’s saying that if it’s meant to work out, it will. And if not… then I guess that’s just the way it is and I’ll have to accept that too. It’s just hard when feelings are messy. You want it to work out, but you expect the worse as a defense mechanism in case it doesn’t end up working out.

That evening, Johnny calls me just before he’s about to go to sleep.

“Hii,” he sings into the phone. “How was your day?”

I smile upon hearing his voice. “Hey, it was all right. How was yours?”

“It was good,” he responds. “Was thinking about you a lot.”

“Aww,” I coo. “Really?”

“Yeah, I know I saw you earlier, but I miss you.” He sighs. “And now I have to wait an entire month before I get to see you again.”

I press my lips together. I let out a sigh of disappointment. “Yeah, a whole month. But we can still talk on the phone!”

“Yeah!”

There’s a brief silence as I deliberate over whether or not I want to ask my next question. The answer is of no real consequence, but I’m curious.

“Hey, I wanna ask you something,” I say. “When did you start to like me?”

Johnny chuckles. “I knew you were gonna ask that,” he says. “I don’t know. Sometime during dead week.”

“Did you know that I liked you?”

“Yeah, I kinda figured you did. That’s why I decided to tell you.” I hear him let out a breath and picture him shrugging. “You kept wanting to hang out with me so I thought you had to have some feelings for me.”

Nodding to myself, I bite my lip in thinking about last night. “You know,” I begin. “I did want you to hold me last night…”

“I know,” he says simply. “We’ll just have to wait until after break. And then we can have sleepovers!”

“How are we going to have sleepovers if Jia is in my room and Hendery is in your room?”

“Hendery never sleeps in his room. He’s always with Yeeun and sleeps in her room.”

My face scrunches into an expression of confusion. “Are they… are they dating?”

“Yeah.”

Despite the fact that I’m looking forward to going home and telling Hana and Hyojin everything that’s happened, I really want to skip over a month to be back with Johnny.

Hopefully by that time, he’ll be single.

“Hey, so,” he begins hesitantly. I hear him shifting around in bed, the shuffling of his blankets echoes through the phone. “I probably won’t be able to talk to you much tomorrow.”

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow is the day he’s meeting Minji.

Tomorrow is the day he’s supposed to break up with Minji.

Johnny is supposed to go into the city, meet Minji, break up with her, and then go home in the evening. There are a ton of questions running through my head. Is Johnny going to meet up with her and break up with her right then and there? Why doesn’t he just call her to tell her it’s off? Isn’t it kind of inconsiderate to go out with your girlfriend the entire day, knowing in the back of your head that you’re going to break up with her, but go about the day like nothing’s wrong?

It’s not really any of my business and the more I think about it, the more unsettled I become.

“Okay…” I say finally.

“I’ll send you pictures throughout the day though! To let you know what I’m doing!” he says cheerfully.

It’s clearly an attempt to make me feel better about the situation. Though, I find it strange that he’s so casual about the whole thing. Like sending pictures to me while on an outing with his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend is totally fine. Wouldn’t she get suspicious? And won’t I feel… envious? Why do I want to know what he’s doing on a date?

Like Dad said: everything will work itself out.

“You okay?” he suddenly asks.

It takes me a few moments to respond, but I say, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Okay, I’m going to go to bed now. Goodnight! I miss you!”

“Goodnight.”

“He’s really cute, Y/N,” Hana says excitedly.

“I know, right?!” I respond with an equal amount of enthusiasm. “I’m just wondering what’s going on today with him. He may not break up with her.” I sigh. “In which case, I’ll just have to let it go… and continue to be single. Almost twenty-one years strong!”

I pump my fist into the air even though Hana can’t see it over the phone. She chuckles lightly and murmurs some general words of encouragement for me not to give up yet.

“I’d just be careful, Y/N,” she says hesitantly. “He sounds like a nice guy, but you never know.”

The weight on my shoulders returns as I take her words to heart. I know she’s right… even before this I was weary of the whole thing. But I think it should work out. I really like him and I enjoy talking to him. Just take it slow and things will be fine.

“So what about your love life, Hana? Did you meet anyone during the semester?”

There’s a silence before I finally hear Hana release the breath she’s been holding followed by a click of her tongue. “I want to ask your opinion on something, but I’m afraid you’ll judge me for it.”

I frown, slightly upset that she would be so afraid of my opinion. “What’s up?”

“Well, I kinda like one of my housemates…”

I blink several times. “Okay. There’s nothing wrong with that. We’re in the same boat—”

“No, we’re not,” she says quickly. “See, so, his name is Jinhyung… we had a class together and he asked if I wanted to study with him in his room. We have another roommate named Joon and I think Joon has had a crush on me and he gets upset whenever he sees me hanging out with Jinhyung. Joon has a whiteboard and he wrote some house rules on it. The first was ‘clean your own dishes’ and the second is ‘no fucking your housemates.’”

I begin laughing. “Wait, so obviously he doesn’t want you and Jinhyung getting together… but what if you said you would sleep with him?”

“I—I don’t know! I guess it doesn’t apply to him!”

“That’s hypocritical. Anyway, continue…”

“Well, Jinhyung made a joke that he and I already broke one of those rules and Joon got really upset. But uh, one day, I texted him to ask if he wanted to study and he actually thought I meant real studying and then realized what I meant. So we talked about it and—oh my gosh I’m so scared to tell you.”

I remain silent, patiently waiting for her to continue. Though, I think I know where this is going.

“I slept with him,” she finally admits.

“So… what? Was it good?”

“Uh—I—I, yeah, I guess so.” She sounds shocked. “You don’t—you don’t think it’s bad?”

I shrug. “No, you guys talked about it, right? Like you discussed what both of you wanted out of this?”

“Yeah, basically. Like we’re just doing this for fun. No strings attached.”

“So you’re basically friends with benefits,” I say more as a statement than a question.

“Yeah,” she confirms. “Gosh, I was so scared you would disapprove.”

“You two talked about it and it was consensual. So as long as both of you are on the same page, I don’t see anything wrong with it. I think you need to be careful because feelings can get complicated, but right now it seems fine.”

Right then, my phone vibrates and I see a text from Johnny.

J: Hey! I hope ur day went well!

J: Uh I can’t really talk right now, but long story short it got late so Minji is spending the night

J: I’m going home in the morning I’ll talk to u tmrw! 😘

I guess I unknowingly let out a sound of disappointment because Hana proceeds to ask me what’s wrong.

“His girlfriend is spending the night and he’s going to go home tomorrow.”

“What?!” she exclaims in disbelief.

“I mean”—I bite my lip and then frown— “I didn’t ask how this was going to go down, but I didn’t think it would lead to this.”

Hana and I are both quiet for a minute. There’s something I’m wondering about and my guess is that Hana’s silence means she’s thinking the same thing. Neither of us want to ask it though because I think we both know the answer. What else would you do if your long distance girlfriend came to visit and she ended up spending the night with you and both of you are alone since your roommate has gone home for break?

But if you’re going to break up, would you still do it?

Or is it a simple decision because you’d view it as a “last pleasure goodbye”?

“Are you okay?” she asks, her tone full of concern.

I bite my lip as I stare at the message, responding a quick “Okay” and leaving it at that.

“Not really,” I say honestly.

“I think you should just go to sleep and wait and see what happens tomorrow.”

And this is what I was afraid of… that Johnny would go meet his girlfriend and tell me he was going to break up with her and then just… not be able to go through with it. Which is exactly why I wanted to be careful about getting my hopes up.

“Yeah, you’re right,” I say. “No good overthinking the whole thing. Thanks.”

“Of course. Goodnight, friend!”

“Goodnight.”

I clutch my phone in both of my hands and let them rest on top of the blankets as I lie staring at the ceiling. I know I need to be careful. I usually am. Just take it slow. See what happens tomorrow.

“Do you want oatmeal with pumpkin?” my grandma asks.

“Okay.”

It’s nearly noon as I watch my grandma spoon some oatmeal into a bowl and then bring over a jar of cane sugar for me to sprinkle on top. We’re staying here for a few days before driving back to Oregon. Normally, I’d have distractions because I’d have to study, but since I’m on break, I slept in and there isn’t much to do besides watch movies and wait.

Surprisingly, scrolling through today’s headlines is rather boring. I answer a few messages from Chaeyoung and feel my heart leap as soon as I see a text from Johnny.

J: Everything’s all good!

I purse my lips. Everything’s all good? What does that mean? He broke up with her? Things are good?

“Dad?” I call as he walks into the living room.

“Yes?”

“Johnny just texted me saying, ‘Everything’s all good,’” I say. “What does that mean?”

“I guess… Everything’s been cleared up?” There’s a tone of slight uncertainty in his answer.

I look down at my phone again and read a second message.

J: Do u want to call soon? Im almost home

“He wants to call soon,” I say aloud. “You think he’ll tell me what happened?”

“Probably.”

Me: Okay!

Slowly, I eat my oatmeal. The ticking of the clock makes me anxious and impatient. What happened? He told her and it was all good? Did he sleep with her last night and then dump her—that’s kinda rough. Wouldn’t it have been better to dump her before going out?

His voice is like warm honey when he greets me, like there’s a renewed happiness and joy in his tone. It almost sounds like there was nothing ever wrong to begin with. Like today is just a normal day and he’s calling his girlfriend like usual.

“How has your day been?” he asks.

“Uh, well, I woke up at like eleven and had some oatmeal.” I hold my phone between my ear and shoulder and place my laptop onto the nightstand next to the bed. Gripping the phone to my ear again, I continue. “I was just browsing through YouTube, but I couldn’t find anything to watch.”

“Well, you can talk to me now!”

“How’s your day been?” I ask immediately.

“Oh, it was fine. I got home like an hour ago and my mom made me lunch,” he says. “And now I’m talking to you!”

His lack of disclosure is quite evident. He’s keeping it to a minimum and only directly answering what he’s asked.

“So how’d everything go?”

“Oh.” He says it like he wasn’t expecting me to ask. “It was okay.”

I wait a few moments before asking him what happened.

“She spent the night and in the morning we took BART back and got off and I told her at the last stop,” he says.

“What—what did you tell her?”

“I told her that there was someone else and she said she sort of figured that’s what happened,” he responds. “It also turns out that she was sort of cheating on me with someone at school.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, so, whatever.” I catch him let out a sharp breath before his voice changes to a more positive tone. “But everything is all clear and good now!”

Assuming this is all true, it’s interesting that Minji was also being unfaithful. I don’t ask for the details, but at the very least, it seems like both of them were emotionally cheating. Seems a bit sad though that they’d rather keep the other person around rather than break up with them. Clearly they had both lost interest in each other. Why continue? Complacency? Security? Fear of being alone? All of the above?

“I’m kinda sad that we have to wait until break before we can see each other again,” he says.

“Yeah, but it’s only a month!” I respond, attempting to be optimistic.

“But aren’t you graduating in a year?”

“Yes.”

I can tell he’s pouting a bit from his tone. “That’s not very long. We’ll have to have lots of sleepovers!”

“Johnny, we have school and studying.”

“Be prepared not to sleep!”

My face grows hot as I realize the implications. There was nothing preventing us from becoming a couple other than my own hesitance. And then there were things like holding hands, first kiss, and all that—things I’ve never done with anyone before and I wasn’t quite sure if he knew or suspected.

Sex. I’ve never had sex.

I didn’t want to give the impression that I had never experienced it before, but when it came down to it, he’d figure it out pretty quickly.

“But I have morning classes!” I argue.

“Hmph. Weekends then!”

I’m at a loss of what to say when he continues.

“Don’t worry. I’m responsible! We support each other!”

A smile makes its way onto my lips. “Yes,” I reply simply.

“I’ll keep you safe.”

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Before I Met You Masterlist

Masterlist

#nct #nct 127 #jung jaehyun #na jaemin #mark lee #lucas wong #nct dream #nct u #superm #before I met you

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the-captains-sunken-ship · 6 years

Note

prompt: fluff #3 please? - septipliermyheart

(A little shorter than the last one, but full of good ol’ banter with a dash of sweetness at the end. Also the way I wrote this, it could be either romantic or platonic. Just felt like going in that direction. @septipliermyheart)

Jack: Hey Mark?

Oh? Wouldn’t he have just gotten home by now? He snickered. Couldn’t last a day without Mark’s glorious presence. He saw how it was.

He messaged back:

Mark: What, boo, miss me already? 😘

Eh, it was probably semi-important if he was possibly sacrificing precious shut-eye to talk to him.

Jack: Never. 😑

Wow. Rude.

Mark: I have feelings too you know 😢

A minute or so passed of Jack typing and pausing on and off. Knowing him, he was probably trying to decide to carry on the stupid banter or not. Finally, he said:

Jack: just wanted to ask if you’ve seen my pma hoodie anywhere

Okay, so he opted to go straight to the point he wanted to make. Fair. Also, Mark started giggling.

Jack: I tore my house apart looking for it before I remembered you offered to throw it in your laundry after I spilled a bunch of sauce on it

The entire time Jack was typing, Mark didn’t stop giggling. Hehehehe… Of course Mark knew where it was.

Mark: Yeah it might still be in the dryer, I’ll have to look

Heh. Sure he would. “Look” for what was right under his nose. Like would ever know a thing.

As long as he didn’t accidentally wear it during a video or a stream or something.

Jack: ……..you’re wearing it aren’t you.

The nerve! How dare he suggest Mark would do the thing that he was very clearly doing right now!? This madness needed to stop. He would not stand for this. He had to make up an excuse. Quick!

Mark: I‘m actually totally naked right now.

With no hesitation, Jack replied:

Jack: Bullshit!

Jack: I can practically hear you giggling to yourself right now

His laughter began to fill the room. Surely Jack could hear he wasn’t “giggling” anymore?

Mark: look I can prove it to you right now if you want

Jack: I DON’T NEED YOUR NUDES

Mark split his sides laughing.

Jack: I bet YOU’RE the one who misses ME already!

Aw. Jack was no fun. Was he wearing the No Fun shirt? He should be.

Mark: And what are you gonna do if I am wearing it? Fly back here just to kick my ass and rip it off?

Immediately, he regretted giving Jack the idea. Why was he this dumb?

Jack: After a power nap, I might just do that.

Mark was about to send him some sass about how it’d be better in his care since it’d actually get washed more than once every other month, or maybe how Jack just wanted an excuse to see those sculpted abs and beefy arms up close and personal, but Jack beat him to the punch with another message of his own.

Jack: In all seriousness Mark, you can keep it. I can just get another one. It’s my own merch after all.

…..aww.

Mark snuggled a little further into the hoodie, hugging himself. Did he really mean that? That was so nice of him. But… really?

Mark: You sure? I can really just mail it to you, it’s nbd.

Jack: Super sure. I kinda felt that you were feeling kinda down right before I left so why not let you have some PMA in your life? 🙂

Jack: Plus like... I can’t say no to you. I can’t just rip it out of your hands now.

Jack: you know what I mean?

…That was so nice. It almost made him tear up.

Mark spent a minute typing and re-typing his thoughts. Mostly he just pressed random keys just to let Jack know he was still there, still thinking. Eventually, he settled on a simple:

Mark: Thanks, Sean. 💚

He wished he knew how to type the accent. Not that “Sean” would mind at all.

Jack: np buddy! ❤️

Mark sank further into his chair, enveloping himself in the PMA, yet feeling a tad guilty that his little prank turned into mild theft. But if Jack was really okay with replacing just one hoodie, then… then he was okay with replacing one hoodie.

…No, he couldn’t overthink it. Jack was right: he missed him a little already. And he was a little sad over something he couldn’t put his finger on right before he left.

Mark traced over the PMA logo, with the heart at the bottom. Like a little piece of Jack to always stay with him.

…Today was going to be a better day.

#septiplier #fic #shit I wrote #someone asked me something #septipliermyheart

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neo-shitty · 3 years

Note

toffee!

no dont apologise! i didnt check until just then so np :)

mmm yeah it is a bit trippy. hehe ITS TRUE THO. yeah sadly i think ur right, and tag blocking is probably a good idea. sometimes smut written well or not in excess is okay but goddamn when its abt 01 line and thats the whole fic... *silently blocks tags*

hehe i do that all the time lol this conversation is carrying on threads from a month ago :) mmm yeah ur probably right sadly, same. HA HE DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE and now i have someone to talk to abt them, so thats good! I KNOW felix was actually the one who got me into skz with his iconique gods menu line so i guess i have a soft spot for him. i always tell myself my bias is chan but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ guess im more whipped than id like to admit. mmm yeah that does make sense dw i hope they do that as well. YES king seungmin hIMSELF. GODDAMNIT DONT GET ME STARTED ON MINHO IN GODS MENU I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE WAS PART OF THE GROUP UNTIL I STARTED GETTING MORE INTO THEM. BITCH (affectionate) THE LINE DISTRIBUTION HAS BEEN UTTER DOG SHIT but *deep breath* its better now so were moving on adn hoping it stays that way. sis same but i may or may not have gone thru a rlly depressed phase and actively sought out the elimination episodes so i could actually force some tears out of my emotionless shell of a heart but what cna you do? lmaoo i feel that irl, binnie deserves more vocal lines. yesss channies accent is rlly prominent then, i think also the way he structures his phrasing? is more english speaking than korean? but yeah i totally get what ur saying. AJKSAL lmao

okay then! im excited for whenever it gets done! (maybe tag me?) ahh the cold shrivelled heart of a dark au writer beats again at the thought of torturing another poor characters very soul (/j) :(( yeah that would suck not being able to see them. ohhh ur on the other hemisphere to me! were just going into spring rn. mmm smth to look forward to! YES you put it into words. they rlly are pretty independent from the company (remember how jyp rejected that other dudes songs after like 3 seconds and then how he was apparently nervous to show the song hed written to chan cos chan was so good at writing hits ahhh sweet revenge) mmmYES we rlly need a mute and remove notifications button for our brains dont we?

YES CORRECT i totally agree. some people jsut dont give it a try, adn assume its bad cos its korean smh racist assholes. yes! im coming up to my 6 month anniv actually! sis sAME, i feel like theyre being tugged into appealing to the western american market and theyre not staying as true to their artistic flair as a group, especially with only writing english songs atm. *sigh* ah well, at least theyre bringing recognition to the kpop world. AHUH dead on, theyre going to be discarded pretty soon and then where will bp be? theyll prob go solo paths which is rlly sad but what can you do when the company is run by a prideful asshole? yg is not going to last much longer in the big four if they keep this up.

hehe you get it. oooh very cool! whos ur ult? (sorry if youve said this before) mmmm yeah good decision, i feel liek thats probably a wise decision. this is my first album release as a kpop stan (not counting mixtape oh) so i think ill get it for sentiments sake. yeah! im excited for the new music! mingi was the one who got me into them, but atm my bias is seonghwa followed by san, wooyoung and ateez but jonghos high notes man *swoon* he, yeah atm ive got jake, jay, nikki, jungwon and sunoo down so just trying to get the rest :) heh, yeah kard i rlly only got into cos of bm, ive seen him like interacting with a lot of idols and he seemed nice so i decided to check out the group. ikr gunshot man *another swoon*

no noe! i didnt know what it was until i got it lol. thx toffee ill try and take that to mind :) yeah lol im on a waiting list thats not going to be free until late september so hopefully i can hold on until then. hope ur okay, that sounds like it sucks, hope you can find someone. maybe ill just take you along on my phone and the therapist can get a two for one patient deal lmaooo. mmm, sorry no i havent mentioned it before, i dont rlly talk abt it much. uhhh basically hypermobility? if you google it, it doesnt seem bad, jsut joint flexibility but ive got the severe end of the stick, leaning towards ehlers danlos syndrome so thats fun. basically it just makes it hard for me to exercise, run, jump, stand or just walk for long periods of time and gives me a lot of joint and muscle pain so... thats fun! but obviously so many other people have it worse than me, so i try not to complain. normally in young people it will improve as they get older, but my doctor said bc its severe in me, its unlikely to get much better. but again, i dont have the worst lot in the bunch, so its all g.

oh its good that its not the bad type of rain, a light sprinkling can be relaxing sometimes. aww thx darl, the concern is appreciated but it went pretty well and i managed not to cough too much on stage or kill myself trying to run around to the other side of the stage in the pouring rain so thats good! oooh tea buddies! my dogs a labradoodle, but shes a bit more of a feral poodle lol not much labrador in her at all, unless its her relentless urge to hunt down every bird that has ever walked this earth smh :((( hopefully they can come back on soon, does uni have dances?

ahhh a mood if i ever heard one. hopefully things will get better for you soon, ik anxiety sucks ass. ooh thats always good! when its sunny here, its always melt ur thongs to the pavement hot so the nicely cool sunny days are a lovely change. hehe impatience is not so good for you, but good for us that get to see ur beautiful theme early. ahh no worries, itll come eventually hopefully. and if not, then just things that make you not anxious are good. it doesnt have to be black or white, sometimes gray is good. mmmmm sames i have midterms this week to catch up on and then two weeks of end of terms so thats fun! i hope u can overcome that a little, heres some channie to be ur motivation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8LWyNjzOww. hah! i hear that all the time, he seems to be everywhere. did you see that tiktok of hans slowed back door rap, i stg it sounded EXACTLY like namjoon, it kinda scared me. also teh beginning of another day, sounds so much like joon i swear.

that reminds me! idk ur biases! i feel like this should be smth i should know so please! feel free to elaborate!

ahh im glad, i was worried it is. mmm same, so no hard feelings if either of us misses a day or smth. ill start worrying if weeks/months have gone by, but if its just a little while thats more than fine. ill just picture you studiously completing notes and i wont worry lol

<3 w.a. 🐺

at some point i really think i'm going to start blocking accounts because blocking tags won't be enough. i saw ask tags the other day and it just made me want to bleach my eyeballs.

i could talk about god's menu felix for hours man. the teaser for god's menu that featured his part on the bridge made me look forward to the mv release. you: biases chan, also you: lixiesbabyhands. yes you are more whipped than you think. i can't believe orange haired minho was given NOTHING during that era but they kind of made up for it in the b-sides. i also hope it stays that way. the distribution for this era was pretty fair.

"torturing another poor character's soul" in all honesty, i used to live for this. 2017 me leading up to early 2020 wrote nothing but angst. i have another aussie friend on twt and tbh i'm still really (O.o) about the seasons! jyp should be terrified skz could easily take over that company. heck if skz grow old and start their own company, they'd probably do a great job at running it. PLEASE. i have issues on muting/notifications both mentally and in real life. sometimes, i just wish to disappear.

some people in my country are just disgusting tbh. not only racist but homophobic too. they label kpop as 'gay' and it DISGUSTS me. it's a problematic behavior/mindset people in my country need to fucking get rid of. anyway, HELP ME 6 MONTHS??? and i've been in this shit for like a decade eye. tbh, i’m not fond of kpop groups trying to appeal to the western audience :// it feels like they’re losing their identity in a way. yes recognition but at what cost? yg has my favorite groups but that’s one shitty company when it comes to promoting.

okay my ult! it’s haechan from nct but i consider chan an ult too. like a close second above my whopping list of kpop boys. oh yes! you should get the album just for like a keepsake? remembrance? how did mingi appeal to you? omg did you start getting interested in ateez back when he was still on hiatus? NOT YOU BIASING THE SAME PEOPLE I DID WHEN I FIRST STARTED STANNING. the infamous ateez thot-line. jongho is easily one of the best fourth gen vocalists out here, no one can change my mind :( good luck with memorizing the rest of enhypen! just in time for the comeback too. i hope i’ll get into kard soon but i’m pretty content (and a tad bit overwhelmed) with the amount of groups i stan right now.

please hold on though, feel free to vent here if you like. thanks for the offer tho HAHA but like i’ll try to get checked here too when the cases die down a bit. i’m sorry to hear about your condition though :( please don’t ever overwork yourself to the point that your joints/muscles would ache. it’s completely valid to complain about it tho. i get that you have others in mind but keeping that mindset really doesn’t do you (like you internally) any better? so if you need to, vent your frustrations out and don’t keep it in.

oh my god, about your performance last sunday. was the stage out in the open? glad you didn’t cough too much and did well on your concert. i’m proud of you! i can never understand dogs and poor birds T_T uni doesn’t have dances unfortunately. i think there’s just one party at the end like a graduation ball. what year are you in anyway? if it’s something that you’re fine with sharing. if not, it’s cool.

good luck with your exams! and thanks for the link! AHA what a cutie. i think he does this motivation thing once in a while during his lives and it’s just comforting. yeah joon and han my irl just freaked when we made that discovery. ult crumbs for her. oh god not me forgetting about every biases when you asked. you can ask for my biases in a few groups just list down the one’s you’re interested in knowing.

i missed yesterday because i was grinding and finishing what if we stay + school work. finally did it today. i’m sure i’ll reply in like a day or two, definitely not a month unless i state otherwise. if i ever decide to abandon this blog, i’ll let you know.

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

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