#Boy niggas been doing her dirty for the past few years and wanna apologize now

[cyarskj1899]

Boy, eat shit. Must know he’s going to lose in court.

If it’s one thing fuck boys gon do??? It’s link up and make a fuck boy brigade

Keep the apologies bozo. Like a bitch, you choose to malign Megan character and link with her enemies all because she wanted to renegotiate her contract.

. I hope Meg clears the fucking table and gets everything she deserves bc these niggas played on her name and in her face way too long.

[troublemakerfiction]

35. Pt. 1

Imani

“Imani, I need to see you when everybody leaves.” Dr. Anderson said as everybody was packing up to leave class.

“Okay,” I nodded even though I was confused.I was one of the best students in this class so I don’t even know what she needed to talk to me about.

I walked to the front of the class waiting for everybody to leave so I could find out what was going on. Walking past me Malcolm bumped my shoulder then glared at me.

Apparently this nigga is still salty about Kason beating his ass and he’s been acting like an asshole since it happened. I understand being mad but this nigga was really trying my damn patience.

“What’s going on Dr. Anderson?” I asked once everybody was out. Dr. Anderson who was a very attractive older black woman took her glasses off then sighed.

“I don’t like beating around the bush and I’m actually very pissed about this so I’m going to be honest with you. Have you ever heard of Aaron Bradford?”

“Uh yeah, he’s like the most decorated surgeon to come out of this school.”

“Exactly and he donates a lot of money into this school and this program. He’s also related to one of your classmates.” She said.

“Wait you said Bradford right?” I asked just to be sure. The only Bradford I know is Malcolm Bradford, the fuck does his people mean to me?

“Yes,” she gave me a sympathetic look.

“Okay, um…what does he have to do with me?”

“Well they wanted me to say that something went wrong with your admission but the truth is Aaron Bradford made some calls and you can’t come back here.”

“Wait what?” I had to be hearing her wrong because I know she didn’t just say I was kicked out.

“You cannot come back to this medical school; actually he’s been making phone calls to every major medical school in the state. Nobody will admit you, I don’t know how you got on his bad side but it’s not a good place to be if you want to make it in this field.”

“I don’t understand how he can just get me kicked out. I’m a straight A student, I’ve been working my ass off! I sacrificed my fuckin’ relationship for this shit and they’re just going to put me out. Finals are next week!”

“There’s nothing I can do about it Imani.”

“What about my tuition, my dad paid a lot of money to this damn school.”

“I know and I was told to give you this,” She grabbed an envelope out of her bag then handed it to me. I opened it to see a refund check for my tuition. I had to grab the table to keep myself out because I felt like the wind was just knocked out of me. I was really kicked out, what the fuck?

“Are you okay?” She grabbed my arm helping me keep balance. “I’m sorry Imani; you’re one of my best students. I wish there was something I could do.”

Not even bothering to say anything I walked out the classroom and straight outside so I could get to my car. Just as I was unlocking my door I heard laughing from behind me so I turned around.

“Had a good meeting?” Malcolm smirked at me.

“You think this shit is funny? Your pussy ass got me kicked out of school!” I shouted at him; he was lucky I wasn’t breaking his fucking neck right now.

“Aye this isn’t my fault; blame your man for being out of control.”

“Out of control my ass, you’re just mad your pretty ass got beat the fuck up. I had nothing to do with what happened to you and you know it so why are you even going this far?”

“Because I can,” he shrugged. “You know I can easily get my grandfather to fix this if you cooperate,”

“Excuse me?” I looked at him as if he was stupid, “What the fuck do you mean by cooperate?”

“You know exactly what that means,” he grabbed my hand but I snatched it away from him.

“Kiss my ass Malcolm; I’m not fucking you to get back in school.”

“Fine, stay kicked out then it really means nothing to me. It is what it is and there aint shit you can do about it.” With that he smiled at me then walked off.

I got in my car then pulled my phone from my purse. “I can’t do shit but I know who can.” I went down my call log then hit the number I was looking for. Putting it to my ear I heard it ring twice before it finally got answered. “Daddy,”

***

“How the fuck can he kick you out of school like that?” Haze questioned with an angry look on his face. We were in my dad’s living room along with Kason talking about the bitch shit Malcolm pulled on me.

“He’s a major donator or some shit like that, I don’t know exactly but he did it.”

“That’s fucked up; you would think ole boy would know not to try you.” Kason said and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes.

“Kason shut up, you’re the reason I’m even in this mess.” I snapped at him.

“Man I told you what the nigga said,”

“Alright but it wasn’t worth me getting kicked out of school. I always tell you to keep your damn temper in check but no Kason just has to do whatever the hell he wants. Now I’m out on my ass because of that bullshit!”

“You can be mad all you want to but calm the fuck down. Yelling at me aint getting your ass back in so quit with that shit. I apologized to you for that shit a long time ago, the fuck else you want me to do?”

“Nothing, you can’t do a damn thing.”

“Alright alright, shut the hell up.” My dad said when he came walking in the living room. “Look I made some calls and that lady was right. That Bradford has a lot of pull in the medical field; more than I have. That nigga is a heavy hitter.”

‘So now what? I’m supposed to just say forget being a surgeon?”

“No because there are how many medical schools in this damn country? You can pick one and go to any of them but it’s up to you if you want to do that. Now if you don’t want to leave then don’t but you’re going to have to figure out another career plan.” My dad told me.

“I’ll think about it, besides that though what about the Bradford’s? They get to get away with screwing me over?”

“You know I can handle that a couple of different ways,” Haze said. “Just let me know what you want me to do,”

“I don’t think getting rid of them are necessary, it’s not that deep.” I was pissed off but they didn’t have to die for that shit, it’s not that serious. “They do need their asses checked though,”

A smile crossed Haze’s face as he pulled his phone out. “I got an idea. You don’t want that nigga dead fine, he can live. When I’m done with his ass he’s going to wish his ass was dead though.”

“Don’t touch that man Haze, she just said it aint that serious.” Dad told him.

“I’m not about to touch that nigga, I am about to fuck his name and pockets up though. Give me a few hours and that niggas whole world is about to come crumbling down.”

I looked at Haze trying to figure out what his crazy ass was up to. As long as it’s nothing that will get anybody in trouble then I’m cool with it. I hope he fucks Malcolm’s life up.

After talking to my brother and father a little while longer Kason and I left and went back to my apartment. He hasn’t moved back in and he wasn’t going to but he was allowed to stay a few nights out of the week.

“You alright?” Kason asked after getting on my bed and lying next to me.

“No I’m pissed off. All of my hard work flushed down the toilet because he can’t handle getting beat up, then he waited to do it. A whole year’s worth of school down the drain. I don’t even know what I’m going to do now.”

“What do you wanna Imani? As a career what do you want to do for the rest of your life?”

“I wanna help children. That was the main reason I wanted to go to medical school in the first place.”

“You can still do that, like your pops said if we have to move to make that happen then so be it. If you don’t want to move there are more options.”

“Like what?”

“Your degree is in psychology, do something with it.” I nodded not even bothering to say anything else. What he was saying wasn’t a bad idea at all but I wasn’t trying to hear that shit. I wanted to be a surgeon and that bitch boy Malcolm just fucked it up for me.

***

“Girl you can do something else, it’s more than one way to help kids.” NuNu told me while I drove. We had just come from getting something to eat and now we were on our way to get our hair done. I made today my personal pamper day because all the drama with school was stressing me the hell out.

“I understand that but this is what I wanted and now that bitch of a nigga stepped in my way.”

“He’s going to get his, Karma is a big bitch and it will hit ass soon, trust me.”

“Well I need for Karma to hurry up because I need this to get done now.” I joked making us both laugh.

“Yo what the fuck?” NuNu said we pulled up to a red light.

“What?” I looked at her confused.

“Are those little bitches jumping somebody on the corner?” She pointed across the street and sure enough it was a group of girls looking as if they were all fighting the same person.

“That’s what it looks like.”

“Hell nah, park this car. I hate little punk ass girls like that.” I parked my car then we both got and went across the street. NuNu started grabbing them girls and pushing them while I took the civilized approach and separated them.

“Little bitch I dare you to hit me, I’m not her I’ll fuck you up.” NuNu threatened one of the girls that was involved when she looked as if she was about to swing.

“It’s cool; we’ll see you tomorrow you broke bitch!” The girl laughed then she and her friends ran off.

I looked at the girl on the ground. She was balled into a fetal position shaking like a leaf, she looked petrified and my heart instantly broke for her. The girl was wearing a navy blue polo shirt and khaki’s which told me they were still in grammar school so she couldn’t be older than 13 years old.

Squatting down I moved her hand from her face so she could see we weren’t there to hurt her. “You’re okay now, come on get up.” I grabbed her arm noticing she had multiple scars going up her forearm. Shaking it off I pulled her up off the floor.

“Oh hell no, which way did those little bitches go.” NuNu shouted when we got a look at the girls face. Her lip was busted, and even though she had a milk chocolate complexion her black eye was more than evident. Her clothes were dirty and obviously too small for her and her sneakers were run down. I wanted to believe the girls’ jumping her was the reason her clothes looked like that but something was telling me that wasn’t it.

“Can you help me get her cleaned up before you try to fuck somebody’s child up,” I said to NuNu. “Get some napkins out the store Rambo,”

She sucked her teeth but went to get some. I looked at the little girl and shook my head, I felt so bad for her. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“They jumped me,” she shrugged her shoulders. “I’m fine; I’m used to it anyway.”

“This happens a lot?”

Instead of answering she just shrugged her shoulders again. “Listen I don’t know why those girls were on you like that but you can’t just lie back and let somebody beat on you like that.”

“I’m one person,”

“That’s no excuse; people only do what you allow.” NuNu came back out with some napkins and a bottle of water. “Maybe your mother can switch schools or something,”

“Oh please,” she mumbled.

“What’s your name?” I wet some of the napkins then gave it to her so she could wipe the blood from her face.

“Ayanna,” She answered.

“How old are you?”

“13,”

“Okay well Ayanna, you need to talk to somebody about this because this isn’t right. If you don’t wanna talk to your mother I can do it for you.”

“No!” She shouted immediately then looked down at the ground before looking back up at me. “I don’t need you to talk to my mother, I’m fine.”

“Okay well where do you live I can drop you off.”

“That’s okay I’m fine,”

“You were just getting jumped by five girls how are you fine?” NuNu questioned. “We’re taking you home so you might as well get your little ass in the car and come on.” She walked over to the car and got in the front seat leaving me and Ayanna standing there.

“She’s rude but she’s right, I wouldn’t feel right leaving you here like this. So you can either let me drop you off or we can call your mom to come get you. Either way I’m not leaving you here alone.”

“Okay,” she walked over to the car and got in the backseat. When I got in she told me her address and I pulled off. When we pulled up in front of the address she gave me there was a woman sitting on the steps smoking a cigarette. I looked back at Ayanna and the fear was written all over her face. If I didn’t know that look so well I would’ve been confused about what was wrong with her.

“You alright?” I asked her and she nodded. I told NuNu’s rude ass to stay in the car then me and Ayanna got out. The woman on the steps looked at me confused as we walked up to the steps.

“Who the fuck is you?” The woman spat at me. “Ayanna get your ass over here,” she ordered and Ayanna rushed over to her.

“My name is Imani, me and my friend was driving and we saw her getting jumped by a group of girls so we broke it up. I didn’t feel right letting her be by herself so I brought her home.” I told her.

“Got your ass beat again,” the woman said before laughing then looked at me. “You didn’t need to break it up; I tell her all the time she gotta learn how to defend herself.”

“I’m sorry, are you her mother?” I asked if she said yes I was going to go off. I tell you she was jumped and your response is to laugh? Not only that this bitch was dressed like she was about to go on a date. Hair, clothes, nails and everything else was done but this little girl is walking around looking as if nobody loves her. What the fuck?

“Please does it look like I would give birth to that?” she said, laughing again then went up the stairs. She opened the door then looked at Ayanna, “Brings your black ass on, got people out here in my business.” She told her then went in the house.

I looked at Ayanna and I could tell her feelings were hurt. “I told you I was fine,” Ayanna said to me.

“You’re not fine,” I grabbed her arm looking at the scars I noticed earlier. “This doesn’t look like you’re fine to me. Neither does that eye,”

She snatched her arm away from me then looked down again. “I was jumped remember,”

“You were but that bruise on your face is not from today.” I lifted her face up then shook my head and sighed. “Listen, I don’t know who that woman is to you but it’s clear she doesn’t have your best interest at heart.”

“She’s my aunt; she’s all I have.”

“She doesn’t have to be,”

“What am I supposed to do? Tell somebody then get put in the system where it’s 10 times worse? This is my life lady; don’t pretend to care because I know you don’t.”

“How would you know that?”

“Why would you? I don’t need a rich girl like you feeling bad for me. You’re probably going to leave and laugh about everything I’m going through. You don’t know me so don’t act like you do.”

“I don’t have to know you, I was you!” I snapped at her then stopped and took a deep breath to calm myself down. “Ayanna I know you don’t know me and you have no reason to believe anything that comes out of my mouth but I know what you’re going through. I was in your place once, living with somebody that basically hates you except it was my own mother I was getting abused by. I know the life you’re living and I know that if you don’t get help you won’t be living period.”

Ayanna shook her head as tears went down her face. “Who’s going to help me? My mother is dead, nobody else wanted me she’s all I have.”

“Like I said before she doesn’t have to be.”

“So what am I supposed to do?”

“Nothing, I’ll do it I just need to know that you trust me.”

She looked at me as if she didn’t know what to do and I completely understood where she was coming from. Her aunt may hate and hurt her but it’s a pain she’s familiar with, and foster care can be hell for certain kids so I understand why she’s fearful.

“I-I don’t wanna go into foster care.”

“You won’t; will you trust me?”

She looked at the house then back towards me. “I’ll trust you. Just please don’t make me regret it.”

“I won’t I promise you. Stay right here,” I went up the stairs then knocked on the door. When the woman opened it she sucked her teeth.

“Are you still here? Damn, the fuck you want?”

“I wanted to tell you that I work for the department of children and family services.” I said and her whole face went damn near white.

“I um…umm I-“She stuttered.

“You can stop planning the lie you’re about to tell. The abuse and neglect of that little girl is more than clear so I can either call the police or you can let her go right now and forget she exists.”

“I can-“

“You can’t or you won’t? Listen to me, that girl is standing there with a black eye, a busted lip and dirty clothes that she can’t even fit yet here you are dressed like you’re living high and mighty. Do you really want me to get the police involved?”

She looked down at Ayanna then back at me. “Fine take her; just don’t call the police on me.”

I smiled a little bit then went back downstairs. “Come on, get in the car.”

“Where am I going?” Ayanna asked looking at me confused.

“Somewhere safe.”  We went over to my car and hopped in. “Don’t ask I already know you were listening.” I said to NuNu without even looking at her. The window was cracked so I know she was eavesdropping.

“You know me so well.” She chuckled. “So I guess we’re not making it to the hair salon huh?”

“Nah not today,” I pulled my phone out and sent Shante a text briefly filling her in. “Ayanna are you hungry?”

“Yes,” she answered back.

“Alright we’ll get something for you to eat then we’ll head to where you’re staying.” I told her before I pulled off.

I stopped by a drive thru and picked her up something to eat before heading to my parent’s house.

When we pulled up I looked in the rear view mirror at Ayanna’s face and her mouth was almost at the floor. I couldn’t help but laugh, I know my dad’s house was huge.

“Whose house is this?”

“My parents come on.” We all got out of the car and I let us all in the house with my key. “NuNu take her to the living room.”

NuNu took her and I went upstairs to find Shante and my dad. I looked in all the rooms and found them in one of the guest bedrooms. My dad was on the bed watching Shante fold up clothes and walk back and forth from the closet.  I know the door frame getting their attention.

“You work fast,” I told Shante looking at the bags on the bed.

“I know, I’m a pro at shopping. It’s a gift.” She laughed.

“What happened Imani who is this little girl?” My dad asked me.

“Long story short, we saw her getting beat up I took her home and her aunt was like my mother in another body. The way she talked to her, the way she didn’t even give a damn about the fact that she was beat up. She has scars on her arm so she’s taking whatever she’s going through out on herself. I wouldn’t have felt right seeing all that and just leaving her there. She’s 13, her name is Ayanna; dad she reminds me of myself so much it’s kind of scary.”

“Well I’ve talked to my lawyer already and he’s going to work on her staying here with us. She better not be any trouble, I don’t have time for that shit.” He said.

“Nasir shut up,” Shante waved him off. I know she was happy about this because Shante loves kids. Had it been up to her she and my dad would’ve had a house full but after Haze she found out having more children would be damn near impossible for her.

“I’m just saying,” He shrugged.

“I’m just glad y’all are open to letting her stay I know it’s really out the blue.”

“It is but she’s a child and just like you won’t turn your back we’re not going to either.” My dad said. “Let’s go meet her,”

We went downstairs to the living room where NuNu had Ayanna laughing extra hard. I don’t know at what but she found the shit funny.

“Ayanna,” I called her name getting both of their attention. “This is my dad Nasir, and my step mother Shante. Y’all this is Ayanna,”

“It’s nice to meet you love,” My dad said to her and Shante nodded with a smile on her face.

“Hi,” Ayanna said back in a shy tone.

“You’re going to be staying here while we figure everything out because there is no way I’m letting you go back to that witch you were just with.”

“Really? I’m going to live here, in a mansion? Are you serious?” She jumped up in excitement.

“Yes you can stay as long as you act like you can stay as long as you need to. She told me you were small I went and picked up some things for you, they should fit you perfectly. You can come with me I’ll show you to the room.” Ayanna left the room with Shante and I plopped down on the couch.

“I’m going to go back to the house when I get to the city and get all of her important paperwork so y’all won’t have a problem getting her in school.” I told my dad. “I’ll bring it to you guys tomorrow.”

“How do you know the aunt won’t be an issue?”

“Dad I told her I was child services and she almost shitted on herself. She knows she wasn’t treating that girl right, she’ll give me what I want.”

“Well as long as you’re sure I’m good. You’re staying for dinner? Shante took them damn ribs and shit out when she got that text so you know she’s about to go in.”

“We’re staying,” NuNu said before I could even answer making us laugh.

“I already knew your greedy ass was going to say that.” He told her before leaving the room.

“I told you, you didn’t need to be a surgeon to help kids.” NuNu said after we sat there in silence for a minute.

With a confused expression on my face I turned and looked at her. “What are you talking about?”

“You just turned that girl’s life around in a matter of hours.”

“That’s only because I could tell she was being neglected.”

“Exactly, if you can see that in her you can see that in other children too.”

“What are you getting at NuNu? I can’t move every abused child into my parents’ house.”

“No but you can help girls like her. You can talk to them, counsel them, make them see that being abused is not their fault and it’s not something they should keep quiet. Bitch you have a degree in psychology, us that shit.”

Chuckling I shook my head then nodded. “Kason was telling me the same thing.”

“My nigga, see I knew I liked him for a reason. He’s smart.” She laughed. “Nah for real though I think you should look into counseling young kids.”    

“That’s a really good idea.”

With everything I’ve been through, helping kids in similar situations really seemed like the right thing to do. No it’s not being a surgeon but it’s still a way for me to help kids and save lives. Malcolm’s bitchassness might’ve just worked in my favor.

“Turn on the news,” Shante said when she came rushing in the living room.

“Why what’s wrong with you and where is Ayanna?”

“In the shower, Haze just called me, turn the TV on and go to channel 5.” I grabbed the remote off the coffee table then turned the TV on. When I got to channel 5 there was a breaking news report.

“After an anonymous tip award winning surgeon Aaron Bradford’s Saddle River, New Jersey home was raided by the FBI. After confiscating computers and other electronic equipment investigators found what is reported to be an enormous amount of child pornography.” The reporter on the news said and my mouth dropped.

“Oh shit, that nigga is a pervert!” NuNu shouted.

“According to investigators there are some videos of Aaron Bradford himself on tape having sexual relations with underage girls, some as young as 12 years old.”

“Wow,” I pulled my phone out of my purse and called Haze who picked up on the second ring.

“Yo,”

“How the hell did you find that out?”

“I may not have as much pull as that nigga but I know a lot of people.” He said before laughing.

“You called the police?”

“Hell no, fuck I look like talking to the pigs. I had somebody else do it, I just provided the information.”

“You really came through Haze, thank you.”

“I told you I got you, don’t even thank me. Tell NuNu to bring that ass home though, fuck is y’all doing?”

“I drove her here and Shante is about to cook so you know her fat ass aint leaving.”

“Ma cooking? Aww shit, I’m on my way.”

“Alright,” I laughed. “I’ll see you when you get here,” I ended the call then sat back against the couch. “Their whole family is about to be a joke,”

“Good, I can’t believe that shit. Nasty ass, they’re going to tear that ass up in prison just watch.” Shante said.

“I’m going to check on Ayanna,” I got up and went upstairs to the bedroom. I knocked on the door and waited. When she said come in I opened the door then walked in. “How are you doing up here?” I asked closing the door behind me.

“Good,” she smiled. “Thank you for helping me.”

“You’re welcome.” I sat on the chair that was in the room then looked at her. “So you can fit the clothes good.”

“Yeah she got the right size, how did she know?”

“Shante is just like that.” I shrugged.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead,”

“What made you wanna help me? My teachers don’t even do anything when I go to school looking the way I did.”

“I was in your position before, I was taken care of as far as clothes and things because of my dad but my mother was a monster. She would beat me, and just talk to me like I wasn’t shit. When I heard your aunt talking to you crazy it made me think about my own past. My dad took me out of that situation when he found out, and I’m grateful for that. I would’ve felt like shit if I didn’t try to step in and help you.”

“I don’t know why she hates me,”

“She has her own issues; anybody that can treat a child the way she did you has mental problems. You can’t let her problems become yours though. How long have you been cutting yourself?”

“How did you-“

“My scars used to look like that before they healed completely.” I cut her off and said.

“I just started doing it six months ago. Now that I think about it it’s stupid but at the time it made me feel better.”

“It’s a pain you can control, I know what you mean.” I stood up and went over to her. “You’re here now and my parents are going to make sure you’re good. They’re good people so you don’t have to be afraid of them.”

“Okay,”

“What happened to your mom? How did you end up with that evil bitch anyway?”

“She died last year,”

“How? You don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to.”

“its fine, umm her boyfriend killed her while I was right there then he killed himself.”

“Are you serious? Damn, I’m sorry you had to deal with that.”

She nodded then wiped her eyes that were filling up with tears. “Is that another reason you cut?” She nodded again. I pulled her in for a hug and let her cry as much as she needed to on shoulder. I don’t know what she was feeling but I know it’s not easy.

When she finally started to calm down she went and washed her face. While she was in there I thought about what I could do to help her. The abuse from her aunt I could help her deal with because I knew what that felt like but the pain she feels about her mother’s death is something different. I couldn’t really do too much for her when it comes to that but I knew who could.

Millz

“Hi pretty,” I said as I walked into my living room. Imani was sitting on the couch with a little girl I assumed to be Ayanna. About a week ago Imani called me telling me about a girl she ended up helping, after giving me all the details about that sick ass Bradford.

His perverted ass tried to fuck up my cousin’s future and got his own life fucked up; shit has a really funny way of working out. If he didn’t get Imani kicked out, she would’ve been in school at the time that girl got into the fight that NuNu spotted. Now Ayanna is in a safe and stable place and that pedophile is off the street.

“Damn you look swollen,” Imani said when I sat down.

“Shut your ass up; you’re supposed to say something nice. Rude ass,” I laughed, I knew she meant it in a joking way so I wasn’t going to bite her head off.

“That was nice but let me introduce y’all. This Ayanna, Ayanna this is my cousin Millz.”

“Hi,” she smiled showing off the prettiest set of dimples then turned her eyes to the floor. I couldn’t help but smile back at her, she’s beautiful.

“I wanted her to talk to you because you’ve went through similar things, but she can talk for herself so I’ll leave y’all alone. Are you okay with me leaving?” Imani asked her and she nodded without looking up. “Okay, I’m going upstairs to see the rugrats.” She got up and left the room going upstairs.

We sat there for a few seconds in silence before I decided to speak. “So what has Imani told you about me so far?” I asked, I needed to know where I had to start.

“She said that you saw your dad get killed when you were younger,” Ayanna answered me.

“Okay that’s true, you have any questions?”

“Ho-how did it happen?”

“Somebody was trying to rob him, and he wasn’t willing to give up his money or me so they killed him then killed my uncle too. I still have nightmares about it sometimes; it’s not an image you can escape.”

“I know what you mean,” she mumbled.

“What happened to your mother?”

She looked up at me with a sad look on her face. “Her boyfriend killed her.”

“Have you told anybody what you saw exactly?” I questioned.

“Besides the cops, no.” she shook her head then looked at the floor again.

“Well I think that’s something you should try to do. I know thinking about it is hard but holding it in feels even worse. It can start to eat away at you and that’s when problems start to form. So far what happened to you has taken away your self-esteem.”

When I said that she looked up at me confused. “Huh?”

“My dad always said anybody that can’t look you in the eye when they’re talking to you or vice versa that means they’re not sure of themselves. You keep looking at the floor like my face is down there and I’m talking to you.” Honestly her keeping her eyes on the floor as I’m talking to her was getting on my nerves.

She’s a shy girl and she’s timid as hell but I can’t stand when somebody has their eyes planted to the floor. That shows a weakness and I don’t play that shit. I feel for this girl, she’s been through a lot but I��m not about to coddle her, knowing Shante the way I do she’s probably doing that enough.

“When somebody is talking to you, you look at them. You’re not looking me in my face tells me you don’t’ give a damn about what I’m saying and I don’t play that game with kids. So keep your eyes at me; I know you’ve been through a lot but keep your held high don’t ever bow down to the bullshit you’ve been through. Do you hear me?”

“Yeah,” she nodded keeping her eyes on me.

“Okay,” I gave her a smile. “Tell me about your mother? Who was this boyfriend?”

“I don’t know she was just a mom,” she shrugged her shoulders. “A really good one, she cooked for us,”

“Us? You have siblings?”

“Amir, he w-was my brother.”

“Was?”

“He died,”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

She nodded wiping her eyes. “But yeah she was a good mom; everything was okay until she met Manolo.”

“Wait, who?” I asked. I know she didn’t just say Manolo, that’s a not a common name so what the fuck?

“Manolo,”

“Was he kind of light, tall? Big ass head?” I described Manolo the best way I could from the pictures I’ve seen of him,

“Yeah, you know him?”

“I know of him. How did your mother know him?”

“She met him in New York and he started coming around a whole lot. My brother didn’t like him, and he didn’t like my brother either. He was nice to me most times, he would buy me stuff to get on her good side and it worked. I thought he was a good guy until he started hitting on her.”

“How bad was it?”

“Um, he broke her nose because he pistol whipped her.” I grabbed some tissue from the box on the coffee table then gave it to her so she could wipe her eyes. “Thank you,”

“You’re welcome,”

“He would beat her all the time, if my brother tried to get into it they would fight and my mom would try to break it up but he would just beat her worse.”

“Wow,” I shook my head thanking God he was no longer breathing. Ole pussy ass niggas like that doesn’t deserve to live.

“We would beg her to leave him alone but he kept coming back and she would let him back in.”

“What happened the day she was murdered?”

“They were arguing and he started hitting her. My brother said he couldn’t take it anymore and went to try and fight Manolo. I begged him not too but he wouldn’t listen he did it anyway. Usually he would get the best of Amir but I don’t know what happened but Amir was beating him up. I guess he was really at his breaking point because he was winning the fight. Out of nowhere Manolo pulled his gun out,” she stopped and just stared off into space.

Getting up I moved over and sat right next to her putting my arm over her shoulders. “He sh-shot him, he shot my brother because he was winning a fight,” she shook her head chuckling. “My mother screamed and tried to fight him but he just shot her too. He put the gun back in his pants then walked past me and out the house like it was nothing,” she said before she started crying. Small sniffles turned into sobs within seconds. I put her head on my lap and rubbed her back while she cried her eyes out. I wasn’t going to tell her to stop or try to calm her down.

She watched two of what was probably the closest family to her get murdered in cold blood then got sent to live with an aunt who didn’t give a fuck about her. Something tells me she hasn’t had the proper time to grieve or even let out what she was really feeling, she needed this cry and I was going to let her have it.

Ayanna cried on my lap for almost 45 minutes before she finally began to calm down. Once she was all good she sat up and I gave her a much needed hug.

“Do you feel any better?” I asked her.

“Yes, and that sounds weird; why would crying make me feel better?”

“Sometimes people need to have a good cry. Life isn’t easy and you’ve been through a lot so far in your life. You needed to let that pain out. It’s still going to get you down sometimes but you just need to release it. Holding it in isn’t good for anybody, trust me I know.”

“How do you forget what you saw though?”

“You don’t, that’s the fucked up thing about it. You will never forget seeing the people you love being murdered. What you can do is deal with the hurt from it and try move forward; if you dwell on it will haunt you and loom over your life like a black cloud.”

She nodded her head then smiled a little bit. “Thank you for talking to me.”

“You don’t have to thank me. We’re a lot alike so I’m talking to you so don’t end up with a bitchy attitude like me,” I winked at her before laughing.

I got up off the couch then looked at her. “I’m about to go sneak a cookie, come keep lookout.” I said with her walking out right behind me.