#Boys’ Curry Super Steph t shirt

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[sambergscott]

‘cause you’ll be safe in these arms of mine

Summary: Jake and Amy asking people to be godparents, inspired by a convo with @capnperaltiago who asked for me to write this <3

She asks Rosa two minutes after the plastic stick says pregnant.

Jake and Holt are out working a case and Terry’s taken the day off to be with his girls, leaving Amy in charge of the Nine-Nine. Hitchcock and Scully have already started a small fire, one of the uniformed officers lost a piece of evidence and there was a fight amongst two perps in the holding cell. And Amy can’t stop throwing up.

At first she blames it on work-related stress and then she thinks it must have been the Chinese she ate last night while watching re-runs of Friends. It’s not until Rosa pulls out a pregnancy test she picked up from the store that she realises it could be morning sickness.

They’re not even properly trying yet. Sure, she’s come off her birth control because she’s done enough research to know that it could take months to get pregnant after coming off them and they still can’t take their hands off each other, even after over a year of marriage, but neither of them were expecting anything to happen this soon.

She pees on the stick and, several anxiety-ridden minutes later, it comes back positive.

She’s pregnant.

And she panics.

This is what she wanted, what she’s always wanted, but what if Jake’s still not quite ready yet and what if one of them dies on the job and what if they can’t actually afford this and-.

“Santiago,” comes Rosa’s gruff voice, her hands steadying Amy’s quivering shoulders, “you two have got this. You’re gonna be the best parents I know.”

“Even better than Terry and Sharon?” She snivels.

“Yeah.” Then, quickly, “don’t tell them I said that.”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” Amy promises, zipping her mouth shut.

“Yours too.” Rosa mimics her zipping action, throwing the imaginary key into the toilet like she’s Steph Curry.

Amy laughs, a sudden idea popping into her head. It seems weird to ask before consulting Jake, before Jake even knows there’s a baby inside her, but it also feels right. She rips off the bandaid. “Will you be the godmother?”

The detective freezes, her mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. “Me?”

“Mm-hmm.” Amy smiles at Rosa’s surprise. They are complete opposites — Rosa likes motorbikes, Amy likes binders, Rosa likes leather jackets and big boots, Amy likes sensible pantsuits — yet they’ve become sisters, sleuth sisters, over the past nine years. There’s nobody else Amy would consider for the job. “You’ve always had my back and I think you’d have our baby’s back, too. Plus, if our baby turns out like Jake, you’ve always known how to handle him.”

Rosa snorts, then smiles back at her. Amy thinks she detects a few tears in Rosa’s eyes, but doesn’t say a word, not wanting to ruin the moment. Rosa eventually nods. “Yeah. I’m in.”

“C’mere,” Amy cries, the damn pregnancy hormones already making her emotions crazy as she pulls Rosa into a tight hug.

++

It’s Jake’s idea to make Charles godfather.

Amy’s a little… apprehensive at first, to say the least, considering Charles’ track record of being totally obsessed with every aspect of their personal lives. He’s sent her 75 emails about birthing tips, offering his doula services at the end of each one, in the last week alone. He came round their apartment one night to get rid of all coffee, alcohol, shame cigarettes and any other No-No foods during pregnancy. He’s already suggested the names Charles Peralta if it’s a boy and Charlotte if it’s a girl, which Amy vetoed immediately. Making Charles godfather would only allow him into their lives further. And she loves her husband’s best friend, she really does, but she doesn’t want their kid becoming obsessed with weird milk and beige-coloured clothes and the TV show Bunheads.

When Jake argues that nobody else is gonna love their kid more than Charles, Amy finally agrees. Charles will shower their baby with all the love in the world. And if Charles has any influence at all on his godchild, it will be that their kid will be just as big a fan of Jake as Charles is.

Unlike Rosa, they both agree that they can’t just ask Charles. It needs to be an event — like when Jake asked him to be his best man with sparklers and a big ol’ banner. Amy suggests they ask him on Halloween and they spend a full evening planning how it’s going to go down.

“This year’s object is this t-shirt,” Jake announces to the squad on the biggest night of the year, holding up a plain white t-shirt with the words “Amazing Human/Genius” printed in gold foiling. “Whoever has it in their possession at midnight will be declared the winner.”

Like Halloween V, Jake has the real prize waiting in the evidence lock-up. But he doesn’t tell anyone that.

When The Tramps (with Rosa in on Jake and Amy’s secret) barge into the evidence lock-up at two minutes before midnight, thinking they’re finally the champions, Charles is the first to lift the t-shirt out of the storage box.

(It was the one with the uneven dust pattern, just like when Jake proposed to Amy, just like he’d heard a million times over when he asked to hear the story on a bi-weekly basis).

He furrows his brow when he realises the words don’t say what they’re supposed to.

Jake and Amy jump out from behind a stack of evidence boxes and Charles shrieks. For a second they think they’ve caused yet another colleague to die from a heart attack, but he somehow stays on his feet.

“Amazing Godfather/Genius,” he reads the adapted text, trembling like a leaf. His eyes meet Jake’s, who nods, confirming that, yes, his wildest dreams have indeed come true.

“What do you say, bud?” Jake prompts.

“Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!”

Amy laughs happily as she watches her husband and his best friend embrace, exchanging wide grins with Terry and Rosa. Their kid is a lucky guy or girl with their entire Nine-Nine family looking out for them.

There’s only one last thing to do.

++

They arrange to have dinner with Holt and Kevin to ask them if they will be the “god-grandfathers” of their unborn child.

(“God-grandfathers are not a thing, Peralta,” Amy had said when he first proposed the word, rolling her eyes.

“Who says?”

“The Merriam-Webster Dictionary, for starters.”

“Well, it’s a thing now,” Jake decided. He’d never cared for the Merriam-Webster Dictionary before, so why should he now? No use changing the habit of a lifetime. “It’s our thing. Because they’re our #Dads. I wouldn’t feel comfortable raising our kid without them.”

Her face softened, tears pricking at her eyes — those damn pregnancy hormones again — and she finally agreed. “God-grandfathers it is.”)

She’s incredibly nervous by the time they’re at the front door of the Holt-Cozner home, her fingers twisting the ends of her hair into a messy braid.

Jake places his hand atop hers, stilling her fingers. He gives her hand a supportive squeeze. “It’s gonna be great, Ames.”

They don’t bring it up until there’s a lull in conversation mid-way through the casserole Kevin prepared for them, unable to wait any longer. Even Jake is a little anxious, his leg bouncing beneath the table, when he broaches the subject.

“You know how Charles and Rosa are going to be our baby’s godparents?”

“Yes, I recall Raymond mentioning the fact,” Kevin responds. “Apparently it is all Detective Boyle talks about.”

“He’s very excited,” Amy says, amused. She finds herself less annoyed and more touched by Charles’ antics when they’re directed at others and not her or her email inbox.

“Well, Ames and I would love it if you two would have an important role in our kid’s life because, I don’t know if you’ve noticed because we’re super subtle about it, but we kind of consider you both as father figures.”

“We have noticed.”

“You are not subtle at all,” Holt assures them.

“Cool, cool, cool. No doubt. No doubt. No doubt. What do you say? Would you like to be the god-grandfathers to Nakatomi Peralta?”

“Please tell me you’re not naming your child after a building from your favourite movie,” Holt says disapprovingly.

“No,” Jake scoffs, then, under his breath, “Nakatomi is a character, too.”

“We would be honoured.” Kevin smiles lovingly at his husband, then at Jake and Amy. After a few seconds, his smile falls. “Although you are aware god-grandfathers are not a real thing, yes?”

“It’s our thing,” Amy repeats Jake’s words from earlier, beaming from ear to ear.

++

When their baby arrives, seven point five pounds of perfection, they have a lot of visitors, all wanting to feast their eyes on the precious addition to the family. The grandparents get first hold (apparently Victor and Roger had another arm wrestling match in the hospital waiting room to decide who got the very first hold), then Amy’s brothers that live in the city, then the godparents and god-grandparents.

Charles starts crying the moment he’s in the same room as her, only stopping when Amy threatens to make him leave.

Rosa smiles more than either Jake and Amy have ever seen her smile.

Captain Holt is quite simply enamoured with the little bundle of blankets, unable to mask his emotions in his usual robotic way when his god-granddaughter grips his pinky finger.

Jake and Amy exchange proud parent smiles as they watch their hours-old daughter with four of the people they trust most, knowing she will always be safe, loved and happy when in their arms.

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Havin’ a Few Drinks and Watching: Judgment Day ‘08

The title of these posts are self-explanatory. Occasionally I will have a few adult beverages and watch an old PPV. All the writing (aside from this introductory paragraph) was written live by me throughout the night and unedited from its original form.

My first reaction of the night is that I already absolutely loathe this PPV’s theme song three minutes in. It is called “Take It All” by some Danish band called Zididada, and I’m convinced that it’s the same line over and over again. I hate it more than I hate myself.

According to research, the dark match for this show was World Tag Team Champions Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly (what) defeating Carlito and Santino Marella. Can’t believe they didn’t air that sure-to-be greatness.

The show starts with JBL fighting John Cena in a match I already regret watching. If you’re curious what period of time we’re in, there’s a sign that says “JBL = EPIC FAIL!” so we’re right smackdab in the middle of when “fail” was A Thing. Another sign says JBL stands for “Judgment Day’s Biggest Loser.” Get fucking wrecked, Bradshaw. John Cena is wearing an NES Cover-inspired T shirt that I wish I owned. This match had some solid heat. The people love John Boy (I believe this is before the “JOHN CENA SUUUUUCKS” chants) and hate JBL (as everyone should). However, everything else is putting me to sleep. I’ve never really enjoyed Bradshaw in the ring, and this John Cena isn’t the Greatest In The World John Fucking Cena we’ve got 10 years later. JBL dominates most of the match with a slow pace. Cena’s selling really looks goofy as hell. JBL’s just destroying Cena at a really deliberate pace, and then out of nowhere Cena hits the FU for the win. Classic “Super Cena” that would get people to hate his overpowered characters before he became Actually Good in recent years. This match was bad and the ending being so sudden and nonsensical didn’t help matters. If we’re rating stuff it’s probably about *3/4.

We cut to Raw GM William Regal as the match is finished. He seems to have enjoyed the match just as much as I did.

We get clips from an episode of “The Dirt Sheet” (which you can see first every Sunday on WWE.com) with Miz and John Morrison. They’re going to face off against Kane (the ECW Champion) and CM Punk (Mr. Money in the Bank) for the WWE Tag Team Championship. Miz-as-Kane and Morrison-as-Punk have potential, but goofy ass sound effects (FART!) take away from whatever comedic value the segment would have had. Miz is wearing a fedora, a “chick magnet” shirt and some goofy-ass short pants (long shorts?) and it’s nice to see an entirely different Miz have the same level of hate-ability. Mike Adamle keeps referring to Punk as just “CM” and it sounds weird. Punk gets taken to Slamtown with a Moonlight Drive after getting distracted by Kane chokeslaming Miz into oblivion. It’s a fine match. There’s not too much that stands out but I enjoyed the ride. **3/4-***.

Third match of the night is Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho, so hopes are high. I’m not as big a Michaels fan as I used to be, but he was still a heck of a wrestler. Combine that with the GOAT Chris Jericho and you’ve got a stew goin’. That scumbag Shawn Michaels faked an injury to get the edge on Batista in a match where Jericho was reffing, which is how we got here. Jericho’s IC champion, but it’s non-title for whatever reason. Match starts out with some nearfall exchanges and Michaels’ smarmy, cocky ass pissing Y2J right off. Slightly off-topic, but no matter how many times I see them, I will never get used to Shawn Michaels’ Jesus-themed assless chaps. Match is fun, and it’s hard to be snarky or insightful when things are simply “fine.” Michaels tunes up the band right into a codebreaker OUTTA NOWHERE which was a fun moment. Ending is kinda weird. Jericho goes for Lionsault, but Michaels has double knees up. Jericho somehow sees that coming and prevents himself from landing on the knees but Michaels reverses into a pinfall. So that’s why it was non-title. This isn’t a classic match like these two could have, but it’s still very good, even great. **** overall methinks. Jericho and HBK shake hands as a show of respect. Regal reacts to the action by staring off into the distance some more.

JBL interrupts Todd Grisham and Mickie James by saying that actually he beat John Cena and not the other way around. Also he’s not mad, he’s actually laughing right now.

We’ve got a Women’s Title match with Beth Phoenix vs. Melina vs. Mickie James. Because this is a women’s match in 2008, everything feels rushed. Even introductions. Lillian Garcia takes absolutely no pauses in the introductions. Just gets it done. You can tell all three women want to get as much of their stuff in as possible in their token 5 minutes of the show, and things are fast-paced but still pretty smooth and REALLY fun. Beth Phoenix lifts both Melina and Mickie for a backbreaker, and it gets one of the best reactions of the night. Mickie finishes Melina with a DDT in less than 5 minutes. They really made the most out of the time they had. They left me wanting more here. ***1/4

Next up is the World Heavyweight Title match, which was stripped from Taker by Vickie Guerrero. Vickie’s fiancée Edge is naturally the one in line for the shot. There’s a sign that says “I only came 4 Edge,” which… extremely same, IF YA KNOW WHAT I’M SAYIN HERE. There’s also a man in the first few rows wearing a very large, floppy sombrero, and I hope whoever was behind him beat the shit out of him after the show. As for the match? It’s an Edge vs. Undertaker match. So just imagine you’re seeing one of the many Edge vs. Undertaker matches, but not, like, one of the BEST ones. Just a good one with some shenanigans thrown in. LITTLE BABBY versions of Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder show up to distract Charles Robinson while Edge exposes a turnbuckle. Undertaker wins by countout, but Vickie makes sure to note that the title can’t be won on DQ or countout. So we get a countout finish and still no champ. Fun stuff! Match is like a ***1/4-***1/2 overall. Taker’s mad so he gives Edge a tombstone after the match for his troubles.

WWE only scheduled six matches for the night, so MVP is out to complain that he’s off the card. He challenges anyone who wants to fight. United States champion Matt Hardy comes out to accept the challenge for his Brother Nero. The crowd’s loving the impromptu Jeff appearance since he had just returned from a wellness suspension. Apparently MVP is the highest-paid athlete in Smackdown history. I like him just fine but that seems like a poor investment, doesn’t seem worth it. Like we just saw a match with Edge and Taker. You’re paying MVP more than them? Is everyone on like crazy cheap Steph Curry contracts where you didn’t know they’d be this good? Anyway, the match is mostly okay, but nothing too special. Weeeeeeeird ending though. Jeff misses the Swanton Bomb. MVP sets him up in the corner, misses the charge, and loses to a Whisper of the Wind literally like 20 seconds after the missed Swanton. Sloppy as hell there. **1/4.

There is nobody I hate more than Sombrero Guy. Seriously. Imagine paying hundreds of dollars to be sit up close at a PPV only for some dude in a floppy ass sombrero to block your view.

I am starting to feel very sleepy. It is 2:15 a.m. as I write this. All that remains is the main event. The main event is Triple H vs. Randy Orton in a steel cage match. There are few things that seem less appealing than this match in this moment. Lillian Garcia pronounces Randy’s last name as “Or-taaaaan.” It starts with a moment where Randy immediately rushes for the door and dives (heh) for the exit before it’s even closed as the bell rings. I’m not expecting too much more where either guy really rushes to do anything, though, because this is a Triple H and Randy Orton main event, and we’re gonna have to sit and suffer through it, dammit. There’s a comment about how these are the kind of matches that shorten careers, but really all this match is shortening is my patience am I right? You know what looks silly as hell? When Randy Orton’s selling submissions and just randomly starts flailing around like a Bayley buddy. When dude’s trying to reach for the ropes he looks like a cat trying to paw at a ball of yarn. A chair comes into play as Randy grabs one while being dragged back into the ring. We get a few spots based around that. Lots of cage-climbing spots down the stretch. I complain, but I do like the overall oldschool feel of the match in that they’re not going overboard and keeping it simple. Lots of focus on escape, no run-ins, only one weapon introduced outside of the cage. How well it works is obviously up to debate. But I give it some credit. The match isn’t bad, honestly. It’s just that Trips and Orton lack the chemistry to bring it a step above “good,” and it lacks consistency because Trips has gotta have his matches be more “epic” than they need to be. I’m tired. Triple H retains with a Pedigree. ***1/4

Overall, Judgment Day 2008 is a decently solid show. There’s only one match that’s too essential, which is the Jericho-Michaels match. However, the Women’s triple threat, Edge-Taker, tag team match and even the main event don’t make me regret watching too much. The MVP-Jeff Hardy match is easily skippable, and the JBL-Cena match is straight up bad. I’m not gonna rush to revisit even the better matches soon, but you could do much worse than this on the Network.

Overall Grade: C.