#But I had fun with the challenge of switching perspectives partway through!

[terramythos]

TerraMythos 2021 Reading Challenge - Book 5 of 26

Title: Ninth House (Alex Stern #1) (2019) 

Author: Leigh Bardugo 

Genre/Tags: Fantasy, Urban Fantasy, Mystery, Horror, Third-Person, Unreliable Narrator, Female Protagonist, LGBT Protagonist (?).

Rating: 9/10

Date Began: 1/31/2021

Date Finished: 2/06/2021

Alex Stern's had the ability to see ghosts for as long as she can remember-- and it's led her life in a terrible direction. At twenty, she is the sole survivor of a gruesome multiple murder case in Los Angeles. In the hospital, she's given a chance to turn her life around. She receives a full ride scholarship to Yale, but in return has to serve as an apprentice to Lethe House, an organization tasked with monitoring the shady magical dealings of the university's secret societies. Determined to leave her past behind, Alex accepts the offer.

But things start to go wrong partway into the school year. Her mentor Darlington disappears under mysterious circumstances. Months later, a young woman named Tara Hutchins turns up dead on a ritual night. Alex suspects the secret societies of Yale are involved in the murder, but no one seems willing to believe her. Going off a hunch, Alex decides to investigate on her own. But the past she's running from threatens to return and change everything.  

“All you children playing with fire, looking surprised when the house burns down.” 

Full review, minor spoilers, and content warnings under the cut. 

Content warnings for the book: Graphic violence, gore, murder, death, etc. R*pe, p*dophilia, grooming, abuse, and associated trauma depicted/discussed. Drug use, including recreational drug use, underage drug use, addiction, overdoses, and drugging without consent. Mind control/altered mental states. Body horror. Depictions of racism, antisemitism, and misogyny.

Ninth House is not the book I expected it to be. It has a generic-sounding concept; urban fantasy murder mystery! Protag with mysterious powers! Secret societies! I really liked Bardugo's YA Six of Crows duology, so I went in knowing she's a good writer and hoping for the best. Ninth House exceeded expectations for sure. This is one of those stories that has a lot going on beneath the surface, full of interesting twists, turns, and all-too-real social issues.

While this might seem like a “dark academia” kind of story, Ninth House is actually critical of the whole concept. The story takes place around Yale, stars college students, and focuses on the real-but-fictionalized secret societies of the university. But these details often feel incidental. Alex’s (and to some extent, Darlington’s) past, the murder investigation, and her ability to see ghosts is more important to the story. The societies are groups of privileged rich kids using magic for stupid and selfish ends. For example, one society kidnaps a dude, performs involuntary surgery on him, and reads his intestines to predict stock futures. Magic is apparently dying, and the societies have built themselves on top of the few nexuses of magical power in New Haven. The fact that a bunch of asshole college kids have near-exclusive access to a limited and powerful resource sure is a big problem. They’re also ultra pretentious, using certain languages or appropriating certain mythologies just because they seem more magical.

That’s not to say true mythological symbolism is totally absent. Water is a notable part of Ninth House, along with its associated meanings -- change, death, rebirth, cleansing the past, and so on. Lethe, the titular ninth house, gets its name from the river in Greek mythology. Anyone who knows its role there will have a fun time with certain story developments. There’s also a lot of tarot imagery not directly addressed in the story. So history/mythology is significant, but it’s not spoon-fed to the reader. 

There’s a lot of social commentary in the story told through a fantasy lens. Probably the most obvious one is r*pe culture and its horrific effects. Considering the numerous scandals centered around sexual violence, especially in colleges, it all feels very timely. There’s also a more general discussion of privilege and how it affects one’s access to a school like Yale. Alex is notably a victim of racism, misogyny, and poverty to some extent. Bardugo clearly did a lot of research about Yale and the social issues in the novel, and this comes through while reading. She even cites her many sources in the acknowledgements. 

While Ninth House is written in third-person, I still consider it an unreliable narrative. At the beginning, we know two major things about the past. (1) Darlington (the deuteragonist) disappeared under mysterious circumstances a few months ago and might be dead. (2) Alex, the main protagonist, was the sole survivor of a multiple murder case, but was cleared as a suspect For Reasons. Other than that, the narrative reveals few specifics about either event until much later in the story. When this finally happens, it changes a lot of things. There is also an interesting, character-driven reason why this information is obscured for so long-- but it's a big spoiler.

Bardugo also takes advantage of perspective limitations when switching between the Alex and Darlington chapters. One character might assume something, only for another character to introduce new context about it much later. This might be a simple concept, but it’s great when executed well. In particular I remember Alex doing something in an early chapter that seems in character at the time. Then a much later Darlington chapter throws it into question with a one-off line. I really like this kind of stuff in stories! It's an interesting way to characterize and worldbuild that's just plain fun to read. 

My LGBT Protagonist tag is a little vague because, while I'm reasonably sure Alex is bisexual, there's no direct confirmation in the story. Her relationship with Hellie does NOT come off as platonic, though. And while I'm pretty sure Darlington is meant to be the romantic interest character, Alex’s interactions with Dawes certainly give me Vibes. I have some suspicions where this might be going. Future volumes will probably address this more.

While I really liked the book, it's not quite a 10 because it's really dark, even for me. There are several (intentionally) disturbing and disgusting scenes that made me uncomfortable. Sexual violence is repugnant, and I appreciate that Bardugo depicts it in such a negative, traumatic light. But unlike Six of Crows (which explores this as well), Ninth House is pretty graphic, and I had a hard time getting through several scenes. It's a personal thing but did affect my overall enjoyment of the book. I can easily see other people having problems, too: it depends on your sensitivity to such content. 

In addition, Ninth House’s pacing drags after the big mid-story reveals. There's two exciting twists in a row, then a good quarter of the book to go after that. It's nice to view the story with new context in mind, but it feels slower and less interesting than the reveals themselves. The story also takes on a predictable "we SOLVED the mystery! ... or did we?" story loop, which I feel I've seen a million times. Alex does some real dumb/out-of-character stuff near the end in order to keep this going. That being said, while I predicted some of the final ending, I think it all comes together in a satisfying way. There's lots of little hints that are fun to go back to; Ninth House is one of those books where looking stuff up as you go REALLY helps. 

Ninth House lays the groundwork for an interesting series, and the ending is obvious sequel bait. I'm interested to see where the story could go based on some of the reveals and conclusions of the ending. There's also the impossible-to-ignore social commentary of the book; I have to wonder if that will continue in future plots, and what form that will take if so. Either way, whenever the next book comes out I’ll probably read it! 

[dewitty1]

Chapters: 23/23 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Mature Warnings: Underage Relationships: H/D, AS/S Characters: Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, Albus Severus Potter, Scorpius Malfoy, Lily Luna Potter, James Sirius Potter, Ginny Weasley, Astoria Greengrass, Luna Lovegood, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Rose Weasley, Hugo Weasley Additional Tags: Suicide Attempt, Teen Angst, Mpreg, Veela, Cliche, Accidental Bondage, HP: Epilogue Compliant, Novel, Underage Sex, Bottom Harry, Bottom Draco, Switching Series: Part 26 of Mab’s Harry/Draco fic

Summary:

Harry has been seeing Luna, Mind Healer, for twelve years. Recently his repressed homosexuality resurfaces in a way that turns his world and his family upside down. Epilogue compliant

Notes: I wrote this fic about 7 years ago as a challenge to myself to write a novel-length fic. As a bit of a joke, and to make the process easier, I decided to throw as many fandom tropes and cliches into the mix as I could manage. Kinda shake things up and make learning how to write a process that I could just have fun with. I am now, a little ashamed of having fallen into the trap that many, many new fanfic writers do: female character bashing. Looking back, I think I had realized my error partway through and tried to salvage the plot and Ginny’s character in particular, but my fix was to throw another female character unnecessarily under the bus.Having said that, I do not regret writing this fic. I have grown leaps and bounds as a writer largely because of having taken this project on and successfully completing it. I’m more aware now of the problematic areas I hadn’t recognized in the past and largely, the plot with mental illness struggles, ending of relationships and the emotional impact that comes from it, struggling with suicidal ideation personally or having a family member in that position - were included as a sort of self-therapy. Writing about these subjects by putting them into a fanfiction perspective creates the distance I needed to be able to see them from a ‘big picture’ perspective and to work out my own grief/trauma responses from events in my own life. This fic represents healing for me and second chances and is not executed on any sort of “professional level”. I don’t write fanfiction in order to build my skills in preparation of becoming a “professional” writer; I do it because it’s the only method I have found that gives me mastery of my own thoughts and feelings and it helps me become a more caring and mature person.

Excerpt:

“You look really hot when you smile,” he said, disbelieving the words as they came out of his mouth.

“You look really hot when you’re embarrassed,” Draco said running his hand through his hair once more, letting it fall back into its just-been-shagged look.

“Fuck,” Harry said looking over at Draco as if seeing him for the first time. “This is more like it, the whisky I mean.” He downed the rest of his shot and set the glass on the table.

Draco shrugged and did the same.

“You know, Potter, I always fancied you back at Hogwarts,” he said, nonchalant.

“No you didn’t,” Harry insisted. “You hated me, you always insulted us, tried to get us in trouble. Hell, you even joined the wrong side of the war because you hated me so much.”

“That’s really what you think, isn’t it?” Draco asked, tapping the arm of his chair with his fingertips.

“Yeah, that’s really how it is,” Harry said, suddenly confused. “How can you even joke about fancying me back then? I thought you’d grown up.”

“Oh, I have, Potter. I’m a lot bigger now than I was then. My eyes are open to the realities of the world, but I’ve fancied you since the day you refused to take my hand in friendship. You were the first person to ever refuse me anything, and I wanted you.”

Harry gulped, “Well, why weren’t you nicer then? You have to admit you were a fucking racist bastard back then. That wasn’t any way to go about impressing me.”

Draco shrugged. “I did what I was raised to do, Potter. I started coming to my senses sixth year, but—” he shuddered, “—I was already in too deep. I don’t want to talk about the past though; we can talk about that some other time.”

Harry shrugged, unstoppering the bottle and pouring himself another splash. He held the bottle up to Draco, as if to ask if he’d like some as well, and Draco nodded, holding out his glass for Harry to pour. “In for a knut, in for a Galleon.”

“What’s that you’re saying?” Harry asked drinking down the whole of his glass.

Draco downed his as well. “I’m drinking the same amount as you are to even the score, Potter. It’s spiked with Veritaserum. If you’re going to be honest with me, then you may as well realise that I’m being just as honest as you are.”

Harry stared at him aghast. “Don’t you serve anything that’s not spiked?”

Draco barked his laughter. “Potter, I entertain gay Muggle men. I want to know when I’m being lied to. It’s become a bit of a habit, but this is the first time I’ve drunk alongside.”

“What do you want?” Harry asked, growing suspicious.

“I want your body, naked, sprawled across my bed,” Draco said, without a hint of sarcasm. “What do you want, Harry?”

***

This fic is full of tropes,and does contain some Ginny bashing as the Notes I included say, but it’s still a fun,  smutty, if also tropey, ride, that you may just enjoy if you check it out. Xo  😊💗 Carey

[kyuu-rereads-umineko]

Ep6, Chapter 5 & 6 (Part 1)

So, yeah, the Steam version of Chiru’s out, but for the time being, I’m gonna stick to making my posts off of the original Witch Hunt/UmiTweak release, the main reason being that I’m already partway through Ep6. There’s also the voice acting, which I think adds a great deal to the story.

Once I get to Ep7, I’ll probably switch to the Steam release. Hopefully that doesn’t take too long, especially since I want to keep up with Rokkenjima’s Chiru Tea Parties alongside this, but... We’ll see, I guess!

Anyways. If I recall correctly, these chapters feature Erika wasting her time arguing with a 9-year-old and being even more dense than Battler used to be? Fun times inbound!

The chapter opens with Shannon talking about how she used to be “a bit of a klutz” “back then” - forgetting where she left something, or forgetting to lock a door/cabinet/whatever. It’s funny - despite how relatively insignificant this information is (especially since we’ve seen Shannon being a bit clumsy in earlier Eps), it’s good at strengthening the connection between Yasu in her story in Ep7 and what Shannon was like when she was younger.

that sentence was kind of a mess but i hope you understand what i mean

Battler asks her how she got over her forgetfulness, and Shannon explains that she got in the habit of taking notes about where she put things and such. Again, pretty minor, but it brings to mind Yasu tying a string around her keyring...

Erika interrupts, asking flat-out if she’s seen Beatrice or not. Shannon says, “I didn’t see her directly, but... umm... some very strange things did happen...”

The narrative mentions that she’s thinking of “a certain summer night,” and then jumps to the two Beatos wandering the mansion at night. “From Shannon’s perspective, it was a ghost story. From the witch’s perspective... it was just the story of a little summer’s night prank...”

Elder explains the concept of “anti-magic toxin” to Chick. She says something interesting here, and I’m not entirely sure how to parse it - “One thing we do have in our favour is the fact that our existence is still extremely weak. Because of that, the toxin does not affect us greatly.”

In magic terms, I think what she means is that it can’t cause the two of them as much pain as it’s shown to cause for, say, characters like the Stakes or Sakutarou in Ep4. In mundane terms... hmm. Maybe that, since the ghost stories about the witch haven’t really taken hold yet, people are less desperate to argue against them? I’m really not sure.

“[Chick] had thought that she wasn’t a witch because she couldn’t use magic, but apparently, she was still a witch nonetheless.”

Elder mentions that not only being seen, but “being heard or sensed can also result in contact with the toxin.” Basically, any cause for suspicion that “the witch’s actions” have a “human culprit” is damaging.

Chick wonders internally why she wasn’t burnt by Battler’s toxin. Meta gonna meta? The anti-magic toxin’s never really seemed to be “a thing” in the Meta-World - it’s more of a gameboard construct.

“Simply put, as we are now, we can only exist when humans aren’t around...”

Elder is awestruck at the idea of being able to appear openly in front of humans. “Is that what we will eventually become?”

Pretty reflective of how Yasu would’ve felt, I imagine. When she started with her little witch pranks, I doubt she could’ve imagined them growing to encompass the entire island the way they did.

“Hmmm, how inspiring. If that is our future, it means that all of our hard work will have been worth the effort.” okay that one hurts

And then Chick asks how those efforts relate to what they’re currently doing - unlocking windows behind the mansion’s servants, lol. Elder explains that the fact the window was unlocked even though “there’s no one in the hallway” is proof of their existence, and of their magic.

“Of course, it wasn’t just small pranks like opening a window. She could also smash windows and vases, or leave behind strange fires and mysterious scribbles.” YASU WHAT ARE YOU DOING

“One day, I will... no, we will become a single witch and control all of Rokkenjima... When that time comes, we will gain complete freedom and will be capable of stretching our wings as we please.”

And Chick realizes the reason she could appear in front of Battler so openly is because at this point, he fully believes in the witch’s existence and doesn’t have any anti-magic toxin to speak of. HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED

In Featherine’s study, meanwhile, Ange and Featherine discuss the Beatos’ logic. It basically comes down to the fact that they’ve - Yasu’s - created an atmosphere where anything strange happening on the island is blamed on the witch.

“The servants might have forgotten to lock [the window], or one of the family might have opened it after the servants had locked up and forgotten to shut it again, or maybe someone had played a prank. In the same way that none of those possibilities could be denied... it was also impossible to deny the possibility that a witch really had opened a window to enjoy the night breeze...”

“That’s one of the foundations of magic. Decorating... the process.”

Ange acknowledges that “good magic” really does exist. Featherine says, “The power to repel evil magic may be necessary for a child of man. However, it is the nature of love in the human world that it does not burn away and defile love-filled magic.”

Ange concludes that “Beatrice” isn’t a person’s name, but the name of a phenomenon - that anything strange that happens at night is blamed on the witch. “That all piles up until we reach 1986... This is the veil that the true culprit is hiding behind. And the person hiding behind it is, without a doubt, a human.”

Featherine contends that she can’t stick to that argument “to fight all the way through 1986,” and Ange doesn’t have a response. The narrative jumps back to the gameboard, where presumably Shannon’s just detailed the window being unlocked on that night.

...And Erika, being Erika, says that it was just because someone forgot to lock the window.

Shannon mentions that it happened many times over (which she’d know, of course), and Erika calls her an idiot. I really can’t stand her in this episode, I’m sorry...

Everyone else chimes in to support Shannon, but Erika turns to pointing the finger at the servants as a group. THE IRONY......

She concludes with, “Of course there’s no way Beatrice exists,” and “This delusion of a Golden Witch Beatrice [...] is completely impossible,” which angers Maria. here we fuckin go

Maria states that she’s met Beato (which she has), and that Beato shows her magic all the time. Erika asks her to explain in detail. Seriously, this girl...

The other cousins try calming the situation down, but Erika throws out all pretenses of being polite (again) to challenge Maria. Meta breaks in, and Maria appears in her witch outfit.

Erika invites her to reproduce the magic, and Dlanor appears to tell her, “This battle is not worth FIGHTING.” AT LEAST ONE OF YOU HAS A GOOD HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDERS

At any rate, ridiculous red/blue truth battle ensues. I really don’t have a lot to say about this and formatting the text colours is a pain, so...

During it, though, Erika says, “All truths are nothing more than claims! So, I’ll make a claim separate from yours and smash right through yours!! That is the detective’s duty, and the time we shine the mooooost!!” I think this is a good line to use to reflect on why I don’t like Erika in this episode.

In Episode 5, she has very apparent narrative functions - she’s a detective like Battler is, but ultimately, she’s very much an antithesis of him. She’s a ruthless deconstruction of the mystery/detective fiction genre in general, and she’s a guide on “what not to do” to solve the mystery. She’s also, ultimately, the metaphorical kick in the pants Battler needs to really try solving Beato’s riddle properly, and a parody of the Mary Sue character, by way of literally being Bern’s self-insert. She fulfills all of these purposes quite well, while being an entertaining character at the same time.

In Ep6, though? True, she still functions as a deconstruction of the genre, and as an example of how ignoring the heart of the story leaves you unable to solve it, but... I feel like the former’s kinda old hat at this point, and the latter isn’t done particularly well? Ryukishi (and Battler, I suppose) kinda smack us over the head with that point in this episode, with Erika just shrugging off the love duel getting so much attention and Battler flat-out asking her what her problem is.

On top of that, we’ve got the contrast between her being an absolutely horrible person like she was in Ep5 with an attempt at humanizing her by giving her some sort of tragic backstory involving a cheating boyfriend (that doesn’t really make much sense for a 14-year-old girl, but I digress). I realize the two sides of her match with Umineko’s theme of contradictory options both being true (the culprit being a witch or a human, for instance), but in this case, they don’t mesh well for me at all. Her cruelty is too dramatically overblown for me to take her seriously as anything but either Bern’s self-insert or a parody of the genre, but Ep6 tries using her as a character to convey an important point - her spiel about love making people “see things that aren’t there.”

On top of that, she’s painted as being a “rival” to Battler, when... I never really felt like that was the case? Sure, in Ep5, they do kinda feel that way, but ultimately, Beato is still his rival, and strictly speaking, Erika’s not his “main enemy,” either - Bernkastel and Lambdadelta are. Even though Erika’s given a focus, I don’t feel like that changes in Ep6, either - Bern is the one throwing a fit about losing, while Erika is just kinda going “Yes, master!” the whole time. She feels... more like a device than a character to me, sometimes, y’know?

That’s not to say that her presence is meritless, though. She provides some top quality humour and memeing, and the ending of the episode is phenomenal. Just, overall, I don’t really care for her here.

Anyways. Erika and Maria continue yelling at each other, yada yada yada.

“Let it be known that this fight has no point...” gertrude is on point

Erika does the magic, screeches about how Maria’s a moron, etc. etc.

“...Sheesh!! Just one more step and I’d have been able to take a heart as innocent as the smooth sand just after a wave has pulled back and tear it to bits. ...What a shame. This isn’t fun anymore.” She also gives the most insincere apology ever for “tearing a kid’s dreams apart.” 

Back on the board, she gives another “apology” of “I’m still just a kid.” Maybe I’m guilty of not looking at her with love, but fucking hell this girl.

Maria stops crying and starts cackling instead, proclaiming herself as Beatrice’s apprentice. Erika says, “Let’s fight in a more satisfying game next time.” Maria says sure.

The cousins and Shannon leave, heading upstairs to play cards, and then Kumasawa enters. Erika asks her about the stories of Akujikishima and the witch of the forest, offering to get her a drink as well. With that, the chapter ends.

The next chapter opens on George and Shannon in the rose garden arbour, where George comments that he “can’t seem to get along well with kids these days,” about Erika. don’t worry jooji you are not the only one

“I think kids around Erika-san’s age have a really hard time accepting themselves,” says Shannon. This is... oddly painful, considering that Shannon’s given age is 16, meaning she “would’ve been 14” when Yasu solved the epitaph...

George comments that when he was around that age, “I was a weak, deplorable man who didn’t deserve any respect.” ouch

Y’know, I think it’s fair to say that my opinion of George has changed a lot in the 2 years or so since I started this blog. I think he genuinely tries to be a good person, even if he’s passive-aggressive and self-centred - I honestly don’t think he realizes it a lot of the time. To be clear, I don’t mean his twisting of the knife when young Yasu was in tears over Battler leaving - that was intentional and pretty fucking gross on his part. I mean his behaviour in/around 1986 - his focus on what his relationship with Shannon does for him, him shrugging off her concerns and talk about magic... I don’t think there’s any “intent” there (though whether or not that makes it better or worse is debatable) - I think the effects of it just slip right under his radar.

It still makes me kind of ill to see how he responds to Shannon’s furniture complex, but, again - I don’t think it’s because he “doesn’t care” or anything like that; I think his thinking is that if it were something really, truly serious, Shannon would be up-front about it.

That’s absolutely not to put the onus on Yasu for not explaining her situation to him - considering the weight of everything she had on her shoulders, from her identity issues to her body to her blood, I don’t feel comfortable at all with blaming her for not speaking up. It’s been a while since I read the Ep8 manga scans, but I seem to recall that George and Jessica express that sentiment at one point in the Golden Land, too.

I think, ultimately, George’s chief sin is the same as Battler’s - he just doesn’t really think about how what he says or does is impacting the woman closest to him. The key differences are that 1) since we follow Meta-Battler throughout the series, we’re able to see his character develop, from angrily refusing to see things from Beato’s perspective to eventually throwing his life away for her, whereas with George, we... don’t, and 2) even on first read-through, Beato is a lot more... inscrutable, if you will, than Shannon is. Even if we don’t know the depth of what Shannon’s trouble about, it’s easy to tell that something about George’s family talk bothers her, whereas with Beato (in part because the story’s usually told from Battler’s perspective), a lot of her reactions only really make sense in hindsight, even when she’s clearly upset (e.g. Battler rejecting her presentation of Beatrice II’s story in Ep3, and her reaction to Battler’s failed confession in Ep4).

Maybe I’m just stating the obvious here, who knows! Point is, while George definitely grates on my nerves at times, I don’t really hate the guy. He’s just as human as the rest of the cast, and as one of Yasu’s main male love interests, his flaws are often quite visible.

Anyways! At Shannon’s questioning, George admits that the reason he resolved to grow up and become a “splendid adult” wasn’t just because of love for Shannon. He starts going into some of his insecurities, about how he used to be “afraid” of “interacting with women,” and how he didn’t even recognize them at the time.

Huh, Shannon’s oddly confident during this exchange again. She makes a comment about understanding how George felt when it comes to trying to get noticed by the opposite sex, and when he prods her for details, instead of clamming up and blushing like we’d expect, she smiles and says “Of course.” I’m not quite sure how to word it beyond this, but I can really feel Tohya’s love for Yasu coming through here... quite strongly, at that.

And George admits that the turning point for him was how envious he was of Battler and how close he was to Shannon. George prepares to confess...

...And Ange breaks in to throw a jab at Featherine for watching the two of them. lol

“Stories of love are truly timeless. I never tire of them... However, I do find that expression of virgin disgust on your face even more charming...” LOL

At any rate, George admits to looking down on Battler and Jessica when they were younger, and thinking that they’d never be able to find a partner because of how brash they are, as well as using that thinking to distract himself from his own inability to find a girlfriend. Featherine cuts in, commenting that Battler and Jessica “have the power to interact without worrying about their sexes.”

Ange says, “People like Onii-chan and Jessica onee-chan can get along with anyone whether that person’s a boy or a girl... I hate to say it, but I find guys who act too polite... a bit creepy. It’s like they’re virgins trying too hard or something...” ange has 0 chill

George says that at one of the family conferences, he realized that the servant girls - particularly Shannon - were getting along with Battler and Jessica a lot better than with him. “Sickening, isn’t it? ...I just assumed that you liked me, and even had some childish fantasy that we might end up dating. I felt as though my girlfriend had been stolen from me and let myself feel hurt.”

He admits to trying to emulate Battler and Jessica by "joking around and speaking rudely.” That’s... an interesting mental image, and Shannon says as much!

“The reason I had no charm was because of my cowardice. Under the pretense of respecting people and acting to fit in with the general atmosphere... I was always running away. [...] ...I made an oath. This time, I would really make you take notice of me, and I would be reflected in your eyes... Actually, that’s the first thing I felt when I fell in love with you.”

I have to give George credit here - confessing to something like that takes a lot of guts. I don’t think it’s something many people could do very easily, even in private like this. Having said that, and I hate to be critical of him now of all times, I think that this is really the core of most of his problems.

He was so dedicated to “being reborn,” and takes such pride in “succeeding,” that I don’t think he’s capable of taking a look at himself and realizing he’s still got a lot of growing to do on his own. I don’t think that’s something specific to him, either - I think just about everyone has a period like that at some point. The unfortunate thing about George, though, is that he’s surrounded by people who don’t encourage him to take a critical look at himself - Eva and Hideyoshi, I think, are too close to him and too proud of him to realize it, while Shannon, if anything, usually ends up enabling him to keep acting the way he does. The result is that he never really gets a chance to move past that.

“...Sounds pretty... complicated.” lol shannon

“On that day, my desire for revenge against the two of you who ignored me and played together... no, against you alone... suddenly transformed into true love.” Even already knowing how he really felt about Battler leaving the family six years ago, George admitting to resenting Shannon like that sends a shiver down my spine - not because of how gross of an emotion that is (I think, while it’s certainly not pretty, it’s a very human response, in a way), but because he’s able to confess to it. Again, even if he’s pretty rough around the edges at times... George really is strong, in his own way.

“However, I swear this to God. Even though that was the reason I first started to take you seriously... there are no lies in the way I feel about you now. I swear to love you for all my life. I will not lie about that for anyone or anything. And I am prepared to take you as my wife, even if it means having the entire world as my enemy.”

I can only imagine how precious hearing that must be for Yasu...

George starts to say something about how he lied about Shannon being his “first love,” and she forcefully interrupts him. “Is there some rule saying that people can’t get together just because they weren’t each other’s first love? Is it betrayal to forget the first person you fell in love with...?”

“Love... isn’t that simple. Well... it might be simple... After all, love is easy. ...Always, whatever you feel now... only the honest feelings you feel now can tell you the right answer. So, things of the past or how our relationship started aren’t important at all.”

George thanks her, saying, “I was only able to become who I am because of you.” Shannon replies likewise, and asks him to describe the “kind of future we will build together.”

He starts out talking about how he wants to succeed as a businessman, then says it right-out: “Let’s have some kids.”

Shannon’s reaction here is markedly different from any other episode - she laughs, and says, “Yes, my husband.” He paints a vivid picture of a big family, “surrounded by many children and grandchildren.”

I hate to say it, but... I really can’t parse this scene from the perspective of something that actually happened on the board. Even if Battler gave her a new lease on life like I speculated, the weight of everything Yasu was dealing with... I can’t see her responding so readily to George’s family talk like this. I mean, I guess Shannon as a character might, but any other time it’s brought up, Yasu’s terrified of what might happen when George finds out the truth.

At any rate, George gives her the ring... and says, “I swear to resolutely stand against any fate which may attempt to get in the way of our future.”

He talks about how he’s ready to leave the family if worst comes to worst, and Shannon repeats his sentiments about standing against fate. Hmmm...

And then meta breaks in again, and Erika asks Battler when the murders are going to start. He just tells her to shut up and watch. lmao

Really though, right now she’s even worse than Battler used to be in the first four Episodes. While he might’ve shrugged off a lot of Beato’s fantasy scenes in a similar manner, he was rarely this rudely dismissive of them, and he at least recognized that he’d upset Beato somehow when he was (Beatrice II’s backstory in Ep3). erika is a 0/10 detective

Erika realizes that Battler’s pitying her for whatever reason, and asks him to shut the fuck up when he calls her “sad”.

“I can’t understand you at all right now. What on Earth did you figure out? Weren’t you and Beato always insulting and trying to kill each other? ...What kind of truth could you have reached to make you change your emotions regarding her? ...Please don’t tell me that feelings of true love have sprouted from your murderous rivalry or anything like that, okay?”

As much as I still can’t stand Erika in this episode, I can’t help but read her as a standin for some readers here. Battler’s sudden shift in attitude at the end of Ep5 was incredibly baffling on first read-through, and I found myself wondering the same thing as she is here (though not as coldly as this).

Back on the board, Shannon returns to the servant room in the guesthouse. Kanon immediately notices the ring on her finger.

“...So, it’s my turn next.” ooooo