#But I think I also need a steady flow of shorter term projects to stay motivated. Because you can work on writing for like a YEAR and you'r

[urkpoppsychic]

IZONE: Love update? and what will they do next after contracts ends? Part 1

Reminder this is just a reading, this is only for entertaining purposes so don’t take it serious. It might not be 100% accurate. Enjoy the reading part 2 will be tomorrow!

EunBi Libra:

Current love life: There is someone she trusts and builds trust with, It also can be that the Universe is testing her to trust herself. Her thoughts and feelings towards her person represent the 5 of waters; which means that she is feeling disappointed and sad about the things that have been done. It just didn't go as planned and she might focus. she might feel guilty or regret about it but i feel it is not a major issue because. The 5 of cups is not the end of the world, it also asks you to see and open your eyes for the things that you have. To focus on the 2 cups that stand upright. The person's feelings and thoughts represent the 5 of earth. (There is a lot of 5 in the energy. (That means things or situations are shifting/changing, chaos, the half of the cycle.) back to the energy of her person. The 5 of earth made me feel like he is pushing her away or letting himself left in the cold or her. He worries and is insecure about himself and his finances and career. It feels like he left her hanging for a moment not on purpose but more because he doesn't want her to be involved with his insecurities. Eunbi reacted disappointed about this and felt he was unrequited, by the sentence: ¨ẄHY DID YOU NOT ANSWER?¨. Her person also might deal with some family issues. Which he is hiding from her. The energy in between her and him is 10 of Earth. happy home, fulfillment in career and finances, a completion for an ideal household, They both see each other as long term in this commitment and they wanna go for a happy, secure, marriage, home, and family life.

What will she do after Izone:

She might not know yet what she wants to do. she is indecisive, she might be avoiding because she is not ready. She takes her time to recover and heal, But I also see some good news for her about an opportunity, like a new beginning of a passionate offer. Maybe from a new agency. She will see the truth of her confused time and open for new visions and clarity. She needs to take a time off and she will be able go with the flow. I see her embracing the new cycle of her career path. I do see her moving forward in the entertainment industry but she also needs to let go and flow with the wave.

Sakura Pisces:

Current love life: What I see for her is that she is seeing someone, her energy feels passionate with the 3 of fire, and it seems like she is gonna make future plans for this relationship. She might want to move very quickly and impulsively. Because she is really feeling great about this. The king of waters about her feelings and thoughts towards her person: She has deep emotions and feelings for him. The person in her life might be someone who is trustworthy, full of compassion, respectful and very polite. Someone who is emotionally mature. He is practical and is more a slower energy in this loving process of Sakura´s love journey. Her personal feelings towards Sakura are the 10 of Earth. Which means he is seeing her as the end game. Long Term commitment, home, having a family, marriage, abundance and materialistic fulfillment. They see both of each other as the person they want to marry in the future. It really feels like a special soulmate connection, and it's worth waiting for.

What will she do after Izone:

she will move forward, even with the sadness and isolation. She will move forward and confront and reflect what she wants to do. She might have worries and hesitate for a new beginning, a new change seems scary but I see solutions that will end all the sadness from the past experiences. There is a new potential for her, a new beginning for her in the entertainment industry. She will assist and join a new contract/commitment. a new project? that will be the new focus. Someone is mentoring her or teaching her.

Hyewon Cancer:

Her energy towards her love life is: the Knight of fire and the Knight of Air. Which makes me feel she is dealing with 2 people. (third party). She represents herself as the Knight of pentacles that is her feelings and thoughts to her love life. Which means that she is lowkey, slow but steady, taking her time, friendly, getting to know, loyal. The third party situation tells me that the air person could be a friend and that he might see Hyewon as a potential love interest. While she is with the fire person. The fire person is getting his way and Hyewon will not easily be stolen by him. Someone in this connection could also be wearing a mask, and might not show his or her true selves to their counterpart. They share chemistry.

I have a feeling that she will continue to be an idol, but that her career will be short-term. She will find an agency who is equal and a moment to let her shine for a while. But doubt that her idol life in the long term will be shorter than we had expected. but it might be the end. It will be sad and painfull. But there are still things that have been unfinished for her.

Yena Libra:

Her energy towards her love life is number 5, oneness aka (The hermit). Which means that she might not be physically with the person, but she is emotionally or spiritually connected with her person. She is thinking about him and she is reflecting and looking for clarity. She is connected and oneness with the Divine and connected with her lover. (with the 5 of earth) She might feel anxious and left out in the cold, or she has to push herself away. because she might have been apart with her person for a longtime due to promotions and work related. It caused insecurities within their commitment. (Her person's feelings and thoughts are 9 of water. which says that he is seeing her as her wish fulfillment and everything that he wants. He sees her as a wife material. They still have to learn each other in a deeper way… and important for Yena to stay positive in her connection. They share both passions in the connection.

A new beginning, taking the leap of faith, risk taker, She is quick and impulsive she will transfer quickly to a new start. I see her joining a new idol group.

Chaeyeon Capricorn:

What I see for her is that she might not be in a relationship or dating, she might be in contact with a new person. She might dream about a relationship or materialistic commitment. She feels positive about it, I also see this is just the beginning of a new connection, she is flirting with him and vice versa. but there is perception going on. someone is not really showing their true selves and the reason could be many factors. But they will meet each other very soon and explore an exciting experience.

What will she do after izone:

Yes, it feels like she will continue working hard as an idol, creating a beautiful ending for her new chapter. She will be happy and fulfilled. getting a well-deserved reward. I see her blossom and come back as an idol. or in entertainment.

Chaewon Leo:

What I sense is that she might be in contact with a person from her workplace, (the same company as starship entertainment) They work well with another and they know each other for some time. It feels comfortable. They think about each other. but they are not having enough quality time. The block will move away, they will move forward from something that didn't serve them. Difficult situation will be gone and they will have to travel to see each other soon.

I see singing OST songs, and doing solo projects but also try acting. She is an allrounder and I see new projects coming for her.

[my-creative-hell]

Music (Teen au)

Grave and Hannah sit inside her room in the twin’s house, Iden was out for practice and they had a lab assignment to work on together, being lab partners. Hannah sits on the floor with her Braille laptop resting in her lap as Grave is lounging on her bed so she could see over the shorter girls shoulders easily as she types.

The project wasn’t ridiculous, a study on atoms and their makeup, and how they formed molecules and were the building blocks of everything in pure scientific and mathematical terms. An in depth study, if you will. But, there was a lot of work to be done, even between the two of them. Hannah had been working on it for the better part of a week, preventing her from sleeping as she was striving to create the best quality of work she could, researching at ungodly hours of the night instead.

“We are the science boi’s. Gonna… save… the worl. With s c i e n c e.” Grave flaps her hands around in a happy manner as she speaks, making Hannah snort through her nose as she can feel the breeze being created by Grave.

“I mean, maybe…” Hannah half answers, focusing more on what she was currently typing out onto the computer, trying to make sure she didn’t spell anything wrong by going too fast.

“Just a couple of smort boi’s. We’re very smart. Awesome dudes.” Grave smiles as she flaps her arms more, the breeze getting stronger for Hannah as she continues to type.

“I hope we’re smart, otherwise we’re gonna fail this paper.” Hannah says blandly, focusing on her typing once more.

“Yeah… if you don’t mind me asking, are you okay? You seemed kinda off these past few days and I-I just…” Grave sighs as she continues. “I just wanna know if something’s wrong.”

“Hm?” Hannah hums out as she types, talking a second to register what Grave had asked of her. “Nothing out of the ordinary, just really wanna get this finished.” She explains nonchalantly, her voice sounding neutral and blunt.

“I know, but…” Grave shrugs and lays down on the bed more. “I don’t want you to like, pass out in the middle of the thing. Like we go to present it and you just flop onto the floor and pass out… that sounds like it hurts a little. I don’t want that to happen to you.” Grave explains as Hannah listens to her slightly concerned voice, unphased.

“I’ll be fine, Grave. It’s not like I haven’t stayed up a bunch before. I’ll survive.” Hannah reasons as she types. She had done this shit all too often, and it barely messed her up anymore, though it hadn’t been a full week for a while, so it was a bit harder.

“But… that’s not good. I’ll do the rest of it you go to sleep.” Grave offers, Hannah snorting, a small smirk on her face as she types.

“I’m not tired Grave, trust me. Besides, I’m in the zone right now, I don’t wanna break it.” She reasons, which was true. Hannah had currently entered a steady workflow, and to break it would just annoy her at this point.

“Okay…” Grave huffs as she answers, allowing Hannah to continue working on the project, typing up all of the information they had jotted down.

“Sides, its not been that long…” Hannah tries to reason, though it kind of had, and she knew that. But worrying Grave meant her pestering Hannah about sleeping, and she didn’t want that.

“I don’t feel like that’s true, but okay I guess.” Grave says in a neutral tone as she watches Hannah, who frowns as she works.

“You sound annoyed, are you annoyed?” Hannah questions, pausing her typing for a moment as she questions Grave, unsure of the tone of voice she had used.

“No! I-I’m actually really concerned. Like, you don’t seem okay at all.” Grave explains, the worry a bit more obvious to Hannah in her voice now, making her stop her typing for a moment.

“How do I not seem okay?” She questions, confused. Though she couldn’t see herself, she was sure she looked okay, considering she always looked tired as hell, no matter how much she slept.

“I-I um…” Grave fiddles with her fingers as she struggles to answer. “I just… for some reason… I-I dunno how to explain it, b-but something felt wrong-” Grave tries, though Hannah still looks confused.

“I think I’ve been the same. I mean, I haven’t been super off, have I?” Hannah questions, turning her head towards Grave now as she asks.

“Yeah, not extremely… but its still noticeable.” Grave explains, Hannah nodding as she scrunches her face up.

“Well, I guess I haven’t stayed up this long in a bit, so maybe that’s why. Also running off of coffee does fun things I guess.” Hannah explains, shrugging nonchalantly as she talks.

“I almost set a dude on fire when I drank coffee. Well it wasn’t really coffee, it was a fuck ton of espresso shots, eighteen five hour energies and something else. I’m pretty sure I ascended into the astral plane.” Grave explains her story, making Hannah snort.

“That’s pretty impressive, not gonna lie.” Hannah admits. “Don’t think I’m quite there yet, just using it to stay alert and shit.” She explains, turning away from Grave again as she prepares to resume her typing.

“Makes sense, but if I cant get you to sleep now… can you like at l e a s t take a nap after you work for a few more minutes?” Grave asks Hannah, staring at her with puppy eyes she knew she couldn’t see. “Please? I can take over!” Hannah lets out a deflated sounding sigh in response.

“Grave… look, I’m fine. I really just wanna get this done so I can stop stressing about it.” Hannah reasons as she starts typing again.

“You don’t have to stress about it! I said I can do the rest.” Grave says as she pouts, crossing her arms as she watches Hannah rub her hands over her face.

“C’mon Grave, we haven’t got that much left, its fine…” Hannah almost groans out, looking more tired as she gets frustrated.

“It doesn’t matter, my fresh Cicada Honda civic broski! You need to r e s t. if not now, you rest the second you finish or else I’m gonna put impossible to thaw turkeys in your closet.” Grave threatens, making Hannah laugh, though it sounds very off.

“Sure, Grave. It’ll either be don’t today or tomorrow, depending on any new information…” Hannah explains as she works.

“T o m o r r o w??” Grave sighs, Hannah not saying anything in response, only nodding her head as she types. “Hhhhh.” Grave covers her face as she frowns. “Bad. This is b a d.” She complains.

“It’s fine, it could be worse.” Hannah reasons out, voice back to being blunt and uncaring.

“That doesn’t make it okay! Just because it can be so much worse doesn’t make the current situation alright.” Grave argues as she frowns down at Hannah, who shrugs.

“It makes it slightly more acceptable to me.” She deadpans. Grave makes a sound of concern in response, flailing her arms around her.

“Are you flapping? You sound like you are…” Hannah observes as she works, listening to Grave behind her.

“Yeah, but its not happy flapps!! Its c o n c e r n.” Grave emphasises as she speaks.

“I gathered. What are you so concerned about?” Hannah questions, raising an eyebrow as she works, though she knows Grave isn’t currently looking at her face.

“Sleeb!!!! You!!!! I’m concerned about you!!!!” Grave exclaims, making Hannah laugh again, sounding broken.

“Grave, I’ll sleep when it’s done. Until then I just have to get through, and I’ll be fine.” Hannah explains as she types. Grave frowns in response.

“But I can do the rest of it!!! I know what to write!!!” She exclaims in argument, Hannah sighing.

“Its fine Grave, I’m already doing it, and you’ve already helped a lot. You can’t force me to sleep, so just let me do what I’m doing.” Hannah curtly responds, not moving from typing on her laptop.

“Ugh… fine.” Grave pouts as she answers, almost making Hannah smile.

“Thanks…” Hannah trails off as she works, trying to get absorbed into the flow once again so she had a chance of finishing the work faster.

“…wanna listen to music?” Grave offers, making Hannah pause for a second before she continues typing.

“Music?” Hannah questions as she works, not quite sure how to respond. She liked music, but she never tended to listen to it while she worked, since it removed one of her remaining senses.

“Yeah, m u s i c.” Grave insists, Hannah thinking it over.

“I don’t normally listen to anything while I work, sides, don’t you wanna talk?” She questions as she types, cocking her head as she talks.

“God, you sound like such a mum.” Grave chuckles.

“How rude, show some respect.” Hannah jokes lightly as she works, a small smirk on her face.

“Oh, I’m t e r r i b l y sorry, mother. How shall you e v e r forgive me?” Grave puts on a snobby rich guy voice as she talks, making Hannah snort.

“Alright, no need to be an ass.” She smirks as she jokes around, making Grave laugh.

“Sorry, I had to do my best ‘rich asshole’ impression or else it would simply be a bit b l e h.” Grave explains, making Hannah smile slightly.

“That’s fair enough, it was pretty good.” Hannah admits with a smile as she listens to Grave.

“Thank you, I try my best!” Grave says in a proud voice.

“That doesn’t surprise me…” Hannah laughs, sounding slightly happier than before.

“I’m glad it doesn’t!” Grave flaps her arms around a bit. “Heyyy Hannah, guess what?” Grave asks in a pitched voice.

“What, Grave?” Hannah asks in a neutral voice as she works. She had a knack for always sounding annoyed, but Grave knew her well enough to know she just sounded like that.

“You!!! Are!!! Rad!!! Radder than ten whole cakes!!!!!” Grave exclaims, making Hannah smirk.

“That’s a lot of cake. You’re pretty rad yourself.” Hannah admits as she focuses on typing.

“I am?” Grave questions, surprised, making Hannah snort lightly.

“Yeah, least I think so.” She shrugs, though a small smile plays at her lips as she pauses in her work to compliment Grave.

“Thank!!! You!!!” Grave flaps her arms around more and starts tapping her feet onto the bed in happiness.

“Oh my, calm down, you’re gonna smack me. But you’re welcome.” Hannah smiles as she hears the noises coming from Grave in her excitement and happiness. Grave smiles largely as she stops her flapping.

“Okay, sorry. But really, would you like a m u s i c? its not rude cuz I’ll be listening to some music too!” Grave reassures, Hannah pausing.

“You sure?” She questions, tilting her head towards Grave as she asks.

“Positive.” Grave assures Hannah firmly, making her smirk.

“Okay then, I’ll accept some music.” Hannah yields, her voice lighter and jokier as she speaks. Grave carefully hands her the headphones.

“Happy borthmas, hav music maker.” Grave says in a jovial voice, making Hannah snicker.

“Thanks, you weirdo.” Hannah jokes as she takes the headphones. She puts them on, and if she could have said something, she would. Her brain instantly felt fuzzy and wrong, like it was being shut off by something, even though the headphones didn’t seem to be doing anything yet. It didn’t take more than a few seconds for her mind to completely shut off, Hannah collapsing and falling sideways onto the floor of her room, her laptop being knocked off of her as she falls. It takes Grave a few seconds to process what just happened before she reacts.

“fuCK-” She panics as Hannah lays unconscious on the floor. Grave moves quickly, getting down beside Hannah, quickly pressing her fingers against her neck to check for a pulse, making sure Hannah was still alive. She manages to find one, and it feels normal as it pulses against Grave’s fingers.

“Good. Nice. That’s… good… hh shit.” Grave panics as she hovers over Hannah on the floor. Grave pulls out her phone, calling Iden, waiting in a panic for him to answer.

“Grave? You okay?” The voice of Iden floods through the phone as he answers, sounding confused, with an edge of concern.

“I’m fine, but we’ve run into a minor problem-” Grave admits, Iden instantly growing more concerned.

“Problem? Whats happened?” Iden asks, the concern more evident in his voice as he talks on the phone, wandering farther away from the practice he was participating in.

“Hannah passed out.” Grave says simply, Iden making a strangled noise on the other end.

“She what?!” He exclaims worriedly, voice strained and coarse with immediate stress.

“Yeah, I um… I-I don’t know why. But she’s breathing okay-” Grave reassures, a small sigh of relief coming from Iden.

“Okay, at least she’s breathing.” Iden reassures himself, thinking for a moment. “Did she do anything weird?” He questions in a serious voice.

“No. She just pa-o h.” Grave realises something, mentally hitting herself.

“Oh? Whats oh?” Iden asks, worry spiking again as he thinks over the many possibilities.

“The headphones. I gave her headphones and she passed out.” Grave explains, only confusing and worrying Iden more.

“Headphones?” He questions, sounding utterly lost with the situation that was playing out over the phone.

“Yeah, headphones…” Grave sighs. “Okay, could you come up here?” Grave asks, listening as Iden immediately starts moving.

“Yeah, course I can. Give me like ten minutes, okay?” He asks, already signalling to his teammates that he had to leave and leave now.

“Okay!” Grave exclaims gently, listening to Iden shift around.

“I’ll be there in ten, make sure she’s alright…” Iden hangs up the phone, presumably getting ready to leave and picking up his gear for the walk back to the twins house, though he would likely run it.

“Okay…” Grave sits in silence besides Hannah, who looks very tired now that she could see her properly.

“It’s good that you’re finally sleeping…” Grave smiles a bit as she looks at Hannah, who looked more peaceful than she had ever really seen her as a teen.

Grave gently picks Hannah up, the smaller teen not weighing a ridiculous amount, placing her carefully on the bed and pulling the headphones off of her head as she does so. Grave sits with Hannah until she hears the downstairs door unlock, indicating Iden had returned to the house.

“Grave?” He calls out from downstairs, sounding slightly concerned as he puts his stuff down in the living room, throwing it onto the sofa.

“Yeah. I’m… here.” Grave steps out of the room, Iden coming up the stairs towards her, looking concerned.

“Okay, this is fine, is she okay?” He questions as he reaches Grave.

“Yeah! She sleebin.” Grave elaborates, making Iden huff as he pinches his nose.

“My question is why and how, because I know she didn’t do it on her own…” Iden explains as he looks at Grave, knowing Hannah was way too stubborn to be convinced to sleep.

“The h e a d p h o n e s.” Grave insists as she gestures towards them where they lay in the room.

“You managed to make a pair of headphones that do that?” Iden questions, looking exasperated.

“…” Grave looks down at her feet and mutters the next words. “Yeah.” She admits, Iden frowning.

“I’m going to assume you didn’t mean to do this, otherwise you are in deep shit.” He explains in a slightly stern voice, looking down at Grave, though concern still tugged at his features.

“Yeah, I gave her the wrong ones…” Grave admits. Iden sighs, running his hands over his face in a tired manner.

“This isn’t good, you know that right?” He questions, looking into the room at his twin, his expression twisted and worried.

“Yeah, I-I know… I wouldn’t have said anything if it was alright…” Grave agrees, watching as Iden walks into the room, sitting on the floor.

“She’s gonna freak out… shit.” Iden swears, something he never did. He left all of that to his twin, not liking the way it sounded when he said it.

“Sorry.” Grave takes the laptop off of the floor, making sure it still worked and placing it on her lap as soon as she’s sure it does.

“It’s not your fault, I doubt she even told you enough to know why she’s gonna freak out, did she?” Iden questions, huffing as he puts his head in his hands on the floor, exhausted.

“She…” Grave shakes her head. “She didn’t.” She admit, Iden sighing and leaning his head further into his hands.

“Of course she didn’t… so you cant even know the reality of the situation, that’s not fair.” He explains, sounding frustrated and exasperated. He didn’t blame Hannah, nor was he mad at her, but Grave couldn’t have known what was so wrong about this entire thing, and that wasn’t fair to anyone.

“I mean, if she didn’t tell me that probably means she didn’t want me to know, so that’s fine. I don’t wanna know something she didn’t want me to… if that makes sense.” Grave shrugs.

“She was planning on mentioning it, she spoke to me about it, asked it I was okay with it. I guess she hadn’t figured out when to do it. But she did want you to know.” Iden explains gently, raising his head to look at Grave with a more serious expression.

“Oh…” Grave mumbles as she looks down at the keyboard of the laptop. “Well I can wait until she wakes up for that.” She reasons, Iden smiling sadly.

“I wouldn’t expect her to want to talk to you…” He explains in a gentle voice, not wanting to make Grave upset, but needing her to know the truth.

“I…” Grave nods in acceptance. “Good point.” She admits, Iden coming to sit next to her.

“Unfortunately…” He agrees sadly, a small smile pressed onto his face.

“It’s understandable though, so I’m not really disappointed. Just wish I didn’t ask if she wanted some music…” Grave trails off, Iden looking concerned and worried for her.

“You didn’t mean to, and you couldn’t have known. But the unfortunate reality is you, accident or no, put a traumatised person into a state of complete vulnerability they’re afraid of, against their will.” Iden explains gently, keeping his voice low and soft.

Grave looks at him, looking like she wanted to say something, but had no idea of what she could even say or how she could respond to what Iden had just told her, her face reading this loud and clear, making Iden smile sadly, giving her a sideways hug.

“I know, it’s harsh… I don’t want to upset you, that’s the least of my intentions. But, we’ve had a rough life, and we’re both still pretty messed up. Hannah might just need some time…” Iden explains in a gentle and soft voice as he hugs Grave.

“You didn’t upset me, Iden. I just had no idea what to say.” Grave chuckles and hugs Iden back. “But that’s understandable… sorry life was an ass to you.”

“It’s okay, we got out this year, now it’s just about dealing with it…” Iden smiles gently.

“I’m glad you got out…” Grave tightens her hug, making Iden smile.

“We were lucky the owner of this house knew us and allowed us to rent off the books.” Iden explains as he smiles, his gratitude evident in his voice.

“That’s good!! Glad they weren’t a shart-face.” Grave muses, making Iden laugh.

“Me too…” He agrees as he hugs the smaller girl close to him, watching as Grave finishes the work Hannah had been doing for her so she wouldn’t have to stress when she woke up in about eight hours.

 The next day when Grave goes to school and heads into their shared lab class, she can see Hannah sitting at her normal desk with her laptop in front of her as normal, though something was different. Hannah normally wore ear buds to listen to her recorded lessons, allowing her to make notes at her own pace, since she couldn’t see what was written on the board in front of her. But normally, she would only put in one ear bud in case Grave wanted to chat, though today both of them were in, blocking out the world around Hannah.

Grave sighs gently, sitting down at her own desk beside Hannah. She wants desperately to speak to the other girl, to apologise to her, but she knew it probably wouldn’t end well, so she stay silent as Hannah registers her sitting down, never turning away from typing on her laptop as she plays through one of her lessons, still looking tired, worn out and stressed. Grave frowns, but looks at the board as the lesson starts, paying attention to the words the teacher was saying.

Grave watches silently throughout the day as Hannah avoids her, not speaking a word to anyone, not even the teachers, simply completing her work and leaving the lessons, eating alone and eventually, heading home alone, never interacting with Grave. And Grave let her. She didn’t want to upset Hannah anymore than had already been done, so she left her alone, despite how much she didn’t want to.

The next day, Hannah comes in the same way, alone and silent. She looked more tired and worn out, not engaging with anyone at all, simply putting her ear buds in and working in silence, refusing to speak at this point. Grave continues as she had the day before, feeling worse about the situation as she watches Hannah avoid almost everyone, staying by herself all day, even to eat. She left school alone again, not even saying goodbye of acknowledging Grave.

The third day, Hannah looks a little worse. She’s sitting in class as normal when Grave walks in and takes her seat next to her, her ear buds in her ears, though she handy turned them on yet, unbeknownst to her. The class was noisy as they waited on the teacher, and it was getting to Hannah, the tiredness she felt not helping, clawing at the inside of her brain and making it feel itchy and wrong. Everything that was being said melted inside her brain, being turned into pointless white noise that fogged her thoughts, and made her panic, as it effectively blocked off the most useful sense she had left. After a couple of minutes, Hannah felt like she would either explode or cry if she didn’t move, and she wasn’t about to let everyone see that. Without speaking a word, she pushes her chair out from her desk, leaving the room silently. Grave follows her out of the room, watching as she goes into the single disabled toilet, since she never used the normal toilets, finding them way too cluttered and annoying in her blindness, shutting and locking the door behind her.

“Um… look, I-I came to apologize. You don’t have to respond, that’s… that’s fine. I didn’t mean to put you to sleep. I-I know you don’t like being vulnerable around other people and… sorry.” Grave apologises as she stands outside the door of the stall. Hannah doesn’t respond, making Grave think at first that she doesn’t want to answer, but after a few seconds, she can hear the panicked breathing coming from inside the stall, that was preventing Hannah from talking to her.

“Hannah?” Grave says softly as she lightly knocks on the door of the stall. Hannah doesn’t answer using words, but a whimper like whine can be heard through the door.

“Can…” Grave hesitates before continuing. “C-Can you open the door please?” Grave asks, listening for Hannah behind the door. There’s a long pause, but eventually Grave can hear shifting in the larger stall, the lock beginning to shake as Hannah unlocks the door so Grave can come in.

“Thank you.” Grave says in a smaller voice as she gently pushes open the door to the stall. Hannah has pushed herself against the wall, shaking, and her head on her knees, not allowing Grave to see her face with her hands covering her ears due to over stimulation.

Grave, not knowing what to do or say, sits close to Hannah in silence. Hannah’s ears are still ringing and noises don’t seem to be picked up as well as they should, making the world she knew blurred and distorted. The hands on her head automatically start to go at her skin a little, her cut down nails scratching at her skin to create a sensation to distract from what was going on in her head.

Grave gently pulls Hannah’s hands away from her head to prevent her form hurting herself, holding onto them as Hannah resists slightly, sounding panicked. Grave keeps her grip gentle and kind, trying not to stress her out even more, but knowing she cant allow her to potentially injure herself.

“Um… would you like… head touchies?” Grave asks in a soft voice, watching as Hannah leans back off of her knee’s slightly, allowing Grave to see her tear stained and tired face, giving her a very small nod to indicate she was okay with that.

Grave gently pushes their foreheads together, Hannah accepting the gentle touch as she continues to shake a little, trying to steady her breathing. After a minute, Hannah proceeds to slump into Grave, falling gently on her shoulder. Grave gently hugs Hannah, feeling slightly worried at how Hannah had fallen onto her, Hannah leaning into Grave, not talking.

“Cool, you aren’t dead.” Grave mutters gently, the worry being thrown from her mind as she smiles slightly. Hannah’s arms gently snake around Grave as she presses her face into Grave’s shoulder as she gently shakes, clinging onto Grave in a way Hannah had never done before. This makes Grave’s smile get bigger, her feet beginning to tap gently on the floor as Hannah starts to calm down, her shaking decreasing and her hearing coming back to her as she relaxes into the hug, shuffling closer to Grave, who feels happy that she’s starting to feel better.

“Sorry for dragging you in here…” Hannah says in a small voice as she clings to Grave, felling well enough to speak again, though it’s slightly shaky.

“You didn’t drag me in here, silly… and its fine.” Grave reassures Hannah as she gently hugs her.

“Sorry for ignoring you…” Hannah apologises, sounding more genuinely upset than Grave had ever heard her, the façade of the normal, neutral Hannah completely off now.

“It’s understandable… I’m just glad you’re okay now…” Grave reassures, making Hannah feel a little better.

“I’m fucking tired though…” Hannah jokes, though she does sound it, her voice low and quiet.

“That’s also understandable, your day kinda s u c k e d.” Grave reasons.

“Little bit…” Hannah smiles slightly as she pulls away from Grave, wiping her face. “Okay, maybe a lot…” She admits, Grave nodding.

“Yeah… but at least its kinda better now, right?” She reasons, Hannah smiling again.

“Yeah, little bit…” She admits, though she still looks exhausted.

“Good! Do you uh… do you wanna leave? We can just say that you went to like the hospital or something.” Grave offers, Hannah sighing.

“Honestly, yeah, I’m not gonna get anything done anyway, and I could use some sleep I think…” Hannah admits, a small smirk on her face.

“F u c k y e a h, close them eyeballs and enter your free trial of no brain work-” Grave jokes, making Hannah laugh genuinely.

“You’re such a weirdo.” She comments in a lighter voice as she smiles.

“I know, but so are you. Just two weirdo’s sittin in a room of rest.” Grave replies in a similar jokey fashion, making Hannah grin gently as she allows Grave to help her up off of the floor. A quick call to Iden ensured he would pick up their bags after class, as well as Hannah’s laptop, so they could walk back to the twins home uninterrupted to get some rest and ignore their responsibilities for one day.

[elstonsblog]

May – Aug

In my last reflection, I spoke about doing a mix of larger and smaller pieces of work, Childs Alphabet etc. I think those months set me up nicely for what I've created/been part of between May-August. Over these 4 months, there have been dips in creating work due to doing things other than the drawing which has slowed down my progression of skills/experimentation. These dips haven’t impacted my 3x week posting schedule on social media but more the larger personal projects that needed to be chipped away at... haven’t been started. I hope to change this in October, I would say September but we’re already halfway through it so September will be used as a buffer month to get everything back in order before I get going properly again. 

 My goals in my last reflection were: 

Put the work in to ensure a successful exhibition in July 

Spend time working on targets set 

Find and talk to some local creatives 

Put together a PDF Portfolio 

Start putting together a self-promo pack 

 And I've completed the following: 

Put the work in to ensure a successful exhibition in July 

Find and talk to some local creatives 

Put together a PDF Portfolio 

The Land + Sea exhibition took a lot of time and preparation, I spent 7 weeks of evenings on just making the artwork. I ended up with 4 a3 giclee prints and 48 a5 hand-drawn pieces to be displayed along with my mum's paintings. The event was short but well-received. The work I created was purposely made to sell so I drew more common seaside themes (beach huts, fishermen, sea creatures, seaside scenes and boats) to suit the space we were exhibiting and the audience of the village.  

 The making on the a3 scenes was done using my normal process, the pieces had more elements to them than I usually put in and it was interesting to see how that affected the workflow and timescale of making them. I printed them on Giclee so that the colour vibrancy stayed close to what it looked like on the screen. Photo rag paper feels nice too. I’ll print using Giclee again, the downfall is that every print is individual and there isn't a way of doing multiples without spending out a lot of cash in advance.  

 At the start of preparing for the exhibition, I was conscious that I hadn't drawn anything just by hand for quite a while and I felt that it was something I needed to get my confidence back up with so I decided for the a5 images that they would all be hand-drawn. I used rag paper, ink and gouache paint to keep the colours as bright as they would have been digital. I made 12 pieces in each of the 4 topics (beach huts, fishermen, sea creatures & boats). I gave myself a week to complete 12 drawings and repeated that until all 48 were done. It was a quick turnaround which meant I didn’t overthink it but I also would say that they’re not my best work – having 12 of each gave room for variety within the area and it was interesting to see which ones different people liked the most. It’s funny my favourite ones to do were the sea creatures yet the people that came preferred the beach huts and fishermen. Some feedback during the show was that the set looked most impactful when they were shown together, it could be that I create a print with all individual’s on – this would only really work for the beach huts and fishermen as the size of each person/hut is similar. This is something I'm not in a rush to do during the winter months, but I will return to this for the start of spring. 

I think it was a good thing to have done as it helped me to see a physical audience and test what people like and dislike. The process of making for it kept my focus and showed that if I want to, I can chip away at larger pieces/projects rather than always making small fast work.  

 In August I started putting together a portfolio and website which made me take stock of what I'd created during the year. It was good to do this, but I quickly realised that I'd made a lot of images and not many of them had been shaped into projects/outcomes, so it looked sparse compared to my social media accounts. Also, that pretty much everything I've done has been personal projects and competitions as I haven’t reached out and contacted anyone about doing work for them. This needs to change. I need to start putting myself out there. I’m happy with how my portfolio is currently looking in terms of flow/work - I would like to add some basic animation into the pdf document to make it more engaging, once this is done, I will send be sending it out. I need to put the time into researching who and where I could get work - I know that it’s best to start with editorials so in the coming months I will research into art directors. I’m still under the impression that it is best to send out physical things to spark interest rather than be just another email. This is something that I also want to work on, this will take more time as I would expect that the physical work needs to be more specific and personally addressed to them. I know I'm going around in circles and I need to cut the crap and just email people. If that doesn’t work, then try something new rather than thinking I need to do everything at the same time, and it needs to be perfect. I need to see it as a process as currently, I'm getting nowhere. This 'business’ side doesn’t come naturally to me I'd quite happily be in a cave and draw for the rest of time if I could but that’s just not how it works. 

In some parts of May-Aug, my inspiration levels were running dry, so I started looking further afield for inspiration. I realised when drawing an Egyptian god for work that all the documentation of ancient Egypt was people drawn sideways – which is also my favourite angle to draw people. so I took a trip to the British Museum to draw lots of wall carvings. I focussed more on Assyria’s carvings, copying the poses but modernising them with sliders and socks and trying to think about what they’d be saying to each other. I hadn’t mixed in much speech in my drawings for a long while, and.. I think to do it well takes a practice that I haven’t been doing – I don’t make much in terms of comics/narrative pieces. I would like to stretch this muscle a bit more as after going to Hackney Comic and Zine fair I got hyped about comics again so I'm trying not to let the inspiration for it fizzle out before I start doing something. I think the images were successful, but the text/speech was too fragmented for a narrative. This is something I want to work on as zines/comics are great things and I need to start making them so that I can take them to stalls.  

During these 4 months, my process has continued to naturally refine for digital work (adding in illustrator as part of making). I have started to realise a reliance on compositing the images digitally. For example, when I draw by hand, I draw separate elements to then digitally fit together. This has both benefits and disadvantages; it makes pieces more editable and saves the time of me trying to draw it perfect all in one. The downside is that I'm over-relying on this and barely ever now drawing something fully for fear of messing up. I’m going to start combatting this again by making sure I add more work into my flash book. (My flash book is a photo album that I use to hold and store fully drawn pieces of work so that someday I can tattoo them on people). 

 I think since January my work and confidence overall have grown a lot. I’ve found a variety of colours I like using and I'm surer in the work I'm producing. I have seemed to stay very close to my Berol pen, but I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing. I have been finding it easier to define my work/ approach:  

I’m an Essex based Illustrator raised on a steady diet of cartoons and loud music; both of those things have influenced my approach to illustration. I like to communicate using block colour and bold lines to express what is being said with confidence.  

In my practice, I try to articulate the workings of my mind in relation to the ‘real’ world with the hope to examine and display my presence. I’ve always been intrigued with different ways of communicating, stories, morals and ideas. I get a lot of inspiration from songs, books and the mundane around me and use this information to help formulate an idea for a piece of work.    

I’ve grown to realise that I learn best by doing, so throughout the process of idea to the final piece, it can be revised, shaped and moulded until it looks and feels right. Projects are worked out methodically in terms of the steps that need to be done to create the outcome, what it is I’m trying to achieve and how best to communicate that through the medium used. A lot of the time, projects give me a chance to find new inspirations through researching an area that I’m not familiar with, this along with my existing interests feed into the outcome.  

I would say in my most recent work the overarching theme is a positive retaliation to the current socio/political climate that we’re living in. Within that, there are sub-strands of my work focusing on mental health, politics and societal intangible needs; using what’s around me and trying to draw out something hopeful so that the final pieces communicate positive messages. 

But I am still struggling to understand where and how I fit into illustration work. I hope this will come with time and perseverance. 

Overall, these last few months have been productive. I’ve done work that I wouldn’t usually do and I'm slowly creeping out from under my rock. I think it’s hard to reflect on such a large amount of time properly, so I'll try not to leave so much time between each time, next time. I think a shorter one every month will be more beneficial for me going forward to recap and set my focus for the coming month.  

Going forward my plans for October are: 

To complete Inktober and make it into a zine  

Go to 2 Drink and Draw sessions 

Find 10 suitable art directors/contacts 

Start working on a comic 

Spend time working on targets set 

Plan out Christmas merch plan and start making 

Apply to guardian competition 

[zipgrowth]

Thinking About Selling Your Edtech Startup? Here’s What to Expect.

Once your startup picks up steady traction, you, your colleagues or your investors will begin thinking of next steps. Perhaps you want to keep the momentum going and continue growing organically, a process that may include further fundraising.

You may also consider an exit. After all, running an education startup tests patience and wallets. Your investors and shareholders may want to make their financial returns. You may also want to cash out. Or maybe you’re simply burnt out.

Getting acquired is one of the more common paths. And if you’ve decided to sell for whatever reason, here are some tips and what to expect, based on my experience. For both my startups, I couldn’t grow them beyond a certain point due to a burnout factor after a few years. I can start and get companies to a profitable turnkey state that run like a well-oiled machine—but that’s about it. My first company, Isavix, had several Fortune 500 customers and sold in 2003 to a private group named InScope International.

The second, a digital literacy platform called Big Universe, had school customers in more than 30 countries. It was acquired by K12 Inc. in 2017.

Preparing to Sell

Someone once advised me: Operate your company like you’ll own it forever but keep your records like you’ll sell tomorrow. That means keeping your accounting, legal, HR and other business documentation in good order. Of course, having a good lawyer and accountant from the get-go is essential.

As you shop your company and court buyers, at times it will feel like wrestling with having bipolar or multiple personality disorder, since you’ll need to run your company at the same time. Your personal and professional lives will blur even more. Try your best to maintain a reasonable work-life balance to keep your sanity, since it’ll be extremely stressful. Stay focused on daily operations, particularly sustainable growth, profitability margins, customer retention and employee satisfaction, so that you don’t adversely affect your acquisition potential.

There’s no other way to say it: the process can be an emotional rollercoaster. Be prepared for the fact that it may be months, even years before acquisition offers come. Worse, they may never materialize. Here are some things you should do before contacting prospective buyers:

Financials: Your historical and projected financials will be one of the most important items, so get these in order (e.g. P&L, cash flow, balance sheet, budget, forecasts).

Product: First impressions go a long way, so give your product a facelift if needed and take care of any technical debt.

Advisors: You’ll want to have trusted financial and legal advisors to help you navigate the acquisition process and possibly offload some of the work so you can focus on running your company.

Pitch: You’ll need a pitch deck (e.g., book or prospectus) to send out containing high level information on things like your solution, history, traction, financials, business model, market, competition and team. You might also want a shorter version (executive summary) of the full deck.

Through the acquisition process, be sure to closely monitor costs, as legal, accounting and other expenses can rack up quickly.

In the end, remember you know more about your company than your broker, lawyers and others...

Finding a Buyer

While I agree with the premise companies are bought, not sold, you do have to let prospective buyers know who you are since they might not be aware that you exist. Personal networking goes a long way, but many of the same marketing activities involved in selling your product also apply to selling your company.

It helps to attend or exhibit at conferences, generate stories in the media and win industry awards. For Big Universe, half of our prospective buyers came through personal networking at conferences such as ASU GSV Summit, Bett Show, EdNET, SIIA, and SXSW EDU. Working with distribution and sales partners can also boost one’s visibility.

The rest of the interested buyers were introduced by our investment banker, and going through a broker is how I ultimately sold Big Universe. Firms that specialize in the education industry involve Arcady Bay Partners, Berkery Noyes, Cherry Tree, Oaklins DeSilva & Phillips and Tyton Partners.

Bankers and brokers, naturally, come with a price tag. They typically charge a retainer, which can range from $20,000 to $50,000 or more, paid upfront or in monthly installments. There is also a “success fee” which is payable upon closing, which is typically 2% to 5% of the deal price. Also, most bankers and brokers will have a minimum success fee ($250,000 to $1 million) payable irrespective of the sale price, and accordingly will not represent smaller deals below a $10 million transaction value. The company needs to have enough annual revenue, or have the growth potential to support that valuation.

Finding a buyer can take months to years, and you may have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding the right buyer. We started out with a list of a couple of dozen prospects. Once you find a potential buyer, make sure you develop a rapport with an executive there who can champion your deal to the rest of his colleagues. That support can make all the difference in the world.

Valuing Your Company

Determining the value of your company is more art than science and based on several factors, including: demand for your product, your business model (selling products and/or services), strategic fit for a buyer, and your team’s dynamics. It comes down to what a buyer is willing to pay based on its expected return on investment. Other factors that shape the offer price include how much the buyer wants your product (versus building their own), its desire to keep up with market competitors, whether it wants a new product to excite its sales team, and your enthusiasm for the potential.

Of course, if you can create a competitive situation with multiple bidders, that’ll help drive up the price too.

Valuation is typically determined as a multiple of your company’s revenues or EBITDA; the exact number can be all over the map. Some banking firms, including Berkery Noyes and Cherry Tree, publish periodic reports on the latest selling trends.

There’s no other way to say it: the process can be an emotional rollercoaster.

In general, the sale price range between 1X to 3X of revenue, but getting a reliable estimate can be like throwing darts in the dark. Multiples can be higher for exceptional cases where a company boasts rapid adoption growth or proprietary technology. Other factors impacting the valuation include whether your company is profitable or pre-revenue, and whether the multiple should be based on previous fiscal year’s revenue and EBITDA or the current year’s projections. (This became a problem for us on one deal since we weren’t hitting our target revenue.)

To maximize valuation, consider selling your company when your growth is on the upswing. Don’t be afraid to walk away from the deal if it doesn’t feel right, since the buyer might come around. Also, it’s better to discuss your valuation expectation early on since it can avoid a lot of dancing around the barn to see who blinks first.

Outlining Principal Terms

The formal acquisition process starts with a Non-Disclosure Agreement that involves sharing preliminary and proprietary information, including historical financials. Assuming there’s further interest, it’ll move to either a Term Sheet and/or a LOI (Letter of Intent). You might even hear terms such as an IOI (Indication of Interest) or EOI (Expression of Interest).

All of these are non-binding, but it’s important to read them carefully with the help of advisors, as these documents lay out fundamental terms that should be ironed out sooner rather than later. It can also save you legal fees. (Lawyers are invaluable, but I sometimes feel they get paid by the word.)

These terms include the purchase price, how it gets paid (stock or cash?), the exclusivity period, and how many employees remain. Agreeing on them terms sets up the framework for due diligence and the definitive closing phase that follows, so it’s crucial to get them as close to perfect upfront, as possible.

Lastly, push for a short closing period (30 to 60 days) to avoid the distraction of running your company or the deal falling through if you’re not hitting your sales targets. In the end, remember you know more about your company than your broker, lawyers and others, so take their advice seriously but trust your gut and don’t let them sidetrack a deal.

Surviving Due Diligence

Due diligence begins after a letter of intent is signed. Prepare for a tough grind! There’s just no other way to put it since everything will be scrutinized. Some of this will feel redundant, exhausting, uncomfortable, tense and even irrelevant but it’s important to respond quickly and transparently to the buyer’s requests. There were times I wanted to pull my hair out (just to realize I’m bald).

You can easily be asked for over a 100 different items, for things like every single NDA you’ve ever signed. The laundry list of due diligence items can include the following:

Operate your company like you’ll own it forever but keep your records like you’ll sell tomorrow.

Corporate: Capital structure, shareholders, corporate filing documents;

Financial: Financials, forecasts, accounting policies, banking, debt, taxes ;

Customers: Major customers, geographic footprint, retention rate, interviews;

People: Key employee bios, full employee list, management, board, PTO, benefits, compensation policies;

Sales: Compensation plan, conversion rates, pipeline, efficacy studies, international business, pricing and discounts, marketing, competition, new versus renewal revenue, resellers/partners;

Technology: Demos, accounts, roadmap, IP, technical debt, documentation, 3rd party verification, scalability, risks;

Legal: NDA, contracts, agreements, patents, trademarks, past and pending lawsuits;

Other: Suppliers, strategic partners, third-party vendors.

The whole idea of due diligence is to produce definitive closing documents and items (e.g. purchase agreement, earn-out, escrow, employee hires). Also, watch for “gotchas” such as net working capital (the difference between your current assets and liabilities), which can be a potential deal breaker—something I personally experienced. From the buyer’s perspective, the purpose is to make sure there aren’t any skeletons in your closet.

Even after everything mentioned above, you’ll still be waiting on the buyer’s board approval, which can be nerve-wracking since you’ll be wondering why that’s necessary after an exhaustive due diligence process. But hang in there.

The sad part is the deal can still fall through far into due diligence; this happened to us once and I estimated tens of thousands of dollars in lost productivity since I wasn’t able to fully focus on the company during the process.

Hold off on customer and employee interviews as long as possible. Keeping this a secret from employees can feel wrong at times, but trust the fact that you’re selling your company for good reasons.

Closing the Deal

Finally, the day will arrive when you close the deal! This involves signing the final documents at the buyer’s or law firm’s office; the money is typically wired to your designated bank account(s), excluding payments to your broker, lawyer and accountant, which will likely be paid directly to them by the buyer (costs you should factor in early on). This is a well-deserved moment after a long and hard road but it marks the beginning of a new life for you and your employees.

Life with a new owner can be “interesting,” to say the least. It’s a whole new world, one in which you may not call the shots. Your employees will be in a different environment, some decisions will be seem illogical and things will move at a different speed.

Depending on your buyer, you might lose some or all your startup’s ethos over time. If you’re lucky, the new owner will let your organization operate somewhat autonomously; but typically, it will want the operations more fully integrated. This will be fine for some employees, but others will leave after a certain period.

Having sold two companies, I’ve learned some hard lessons. One common lesson across both companies was to focus on revenue and profitability early and often. As obvious as this sounds, many entrepreneurs like myself end up focusing way too much on the product and have to remind ourselves that some numbers matter more; using the Pareto Principle (80/20 rule), in my opinion, the product is only 20 percent of the overall battle.

Starting a company is tough and growing a company is even tougher, so look at the grueling acquisition process as the home stretch. For me, it was a tough race and I’m taking some much needed time off. While I have an idea for a third startup, for now, I’m planning on helping startups succeed by avoiding mistakes and having successful exits.

Thinking About Selling Your Edtech Startup? Here’s What to Expect. published first on https://medium.com/@GetNewDLBusiness