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feerdelor · 20 days

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If Devsisters decides to add red velvet into ovenbreak i will go crazy and get him immediately please add red velvet i want red velvet in both games please please please i want the cool cake general in ovb please PLEASE make his skill cool too like make him be able to summon a cake army to destroy obstacles and turn them into jellies or something that would be cool as hell also speaking abt that when are they gonna give red velvet a magic candy in kingdom mans needs a buff hes been deemed one of the worse epics and its breaking my heart to see RV so unmeta please devsisters i want him to be meta again give him a magic candy also back to ovenbreak if RV does get added into ovenbreak (PLEASE ADD HIM INTO OVENBREAK PLEASE×10⁸⁷) hes probably gonna get a cool costume YES I WANT TO SEE HIM IN ANOTHER COOL COSTUME how about something like a.... better cake general like make him look cooler and give the man the skull mask that we see on him for like 0.5 seconds when he uses his skill please devsis just give us more red velvet i am very rv deprived i want him i want him hes so cool and deserves to be added into ovenbreak i mean u added matcha into kingdom why cant you bring her brother to ovenbreak it would make you alot of money if thats what you want you know how many red velvet simps out there who would click download immediately once you say red velvets coming to ovenbreak please it would make you so much money just add him in it would also make your fanbase so much happier too because we get to see his relationship charts too i want to see what he says about people OH SHIT ALSO THE THE THE CAKEHOUDN COOKIE YES ADD THEM TOO i need to see their relationship i feel like it would be something like "seems familar" or something PLEASE JUST GIVE ME SOMETHING TO WORK WITH im sorrry i just really REALLY like red velvet hes awsome and deserves to be in every cookie game because hes just that special also speaking about other cookie games wouldn't it be cool since witches castle is connected with kingdom wouldn't it be cool if there was bits of lore on when WL turned into DKE and some cookies would have seen a tiny Red Velvet scurrying aroujd somewhere or at least witnessed the explosion as well you know how cool that would be anyways its uhhh very late i think j ahve been rambling nonstop abt red velvet for a good half hour sooooo uhhh goodnight

Tldr: RED VELVET IS COOL ASF ADD HIM INTO OVENBREAK ISTG

#red velvet cookie #cookie run kingdom

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qlistening · 4 years

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I Fucking Hate Brunch. The world will be a better place if I could convince you to feel the same way.

All you upper middle class Jeep driving girls can go ahead and put your gun back in its holster because I know you’re feeling attacked by this post right off the bat. I want you to read the argument I’m about to present to you with a clear head because if everything goes as planned, I’m about to rock your shit with how valid my opinion is on this subject, and I want you to be in a good headspace to take all of this in.

Ah brunch, a genius concept at first glance. A perfectly plated visual masterpiece, one filter away from landing on your insta story, delivered to you at a time that acknowledges and accepts your constitutional right to suck down a tanker truck full of alcohol the night before. No more pulling up to a greasy diner in your friends sweatpants for some scrambled eggs. Every classy restaurant in town is now opening their doors at 11 AM so you and your friends can get drunk before noon in a place that had the funds to pay an interior designer.

Well you know what else looked like a genius concept at first glance? Mortgage backed securities baby! And those suckers single handedly butt fucked the entire economy when you were like eight. I’m not saying that is in the cards with brunch, but I’m also not saying it’s not.

I’m actually an expert on this subject, as I have brunched it up in seven different countries and served this beloved meal at three different restaurants. And yeah, I know chomping down those pancakes in the upper righthand corner of this picture makes me a hypocrite, but the title of this post isn’t “I fucking hate hypocrisy”, is it?

(you might have to click the title to keep reading. I’m not about to relearn html to fix this)

Diner Perspective

As a diner, I know that the brunch is a classic case of “expectation vs. reality”. You wake up at like noon. Try desperately to make something cute out of your dry skin, smudged eyeliner and greasy hair from the night before. You fail miserably. Then you put on some clothes that typically reside in that rarely touched “darty-wear” section of your closet. When you pull up and sit down at the restaurant, you can’t help but feeling a little bit ridiculous. The waitress is sitting there wearing an apron and nonslip shoes and you are wearing giant star earings. There are like, old people scattered throughout the place as well. Their faces makes it pretty clear that your footwear choice of wedges was in fact, not super appropriate. Once you sit down, you realize how fucking thirsty you are. You start taking down glasses of water at an embarrassing speed and feel kind of bad that your waitress has filled your glass three times before you have even ordered.

Oh yeah ordering. You were so busy rehydrating your kidneys that you have no idea what you want when the waitress comes back to the table the third time so you order something stupid and kinda out of your price range. Either that, or your eyes are way bigger than your stomach and before you know it there are 5 plates and three drinks sitting in front of you. Whoever drank the least the night before whips out the classic “so ladies are we drinking” and now, thanks to that bitch, you have a mimosa on your bill too.

You eat a solid two-thirds of your food and suck down all of your drinks. You and your friends do a baseline rehash of the night and realize that you have little left to talk about. Because you like, already talked about it last night. Meanwhile, your hangover is hitting its peak and you would really rather go to the bathroom and pull trig than take another bite of eggs benny but shit! You can’t. Because of the judgy old people. You sit there and dream of when you can go the fuck home and lay down after this.

Oh here comes the best part! The bill! Thirty five fucking dollars you have to be joking. I could buy an eighth for that much. I sure as hell would get more use out of it. And I have to tip this waitress! it’s not like she turned on the ol’ razzle dazzle or anything. She literally just asked what we wanted and brought it to the table. Fuck this shit. “How much are you guys tipping? $5? Cool me too.”

Server Perspective

How the fuck is it already 9 AM. I feel like I slept for five minutes. Probably because I want to sleep at 5 AM. I can’t believe I have to work this fucking shift. I literally texted every single other server before I went out last night asking for a cover and no one responded. I worked thirteen hours yesterday with no break. I’m not even sure this is legal. Do I need this job? One of my friends made a lot of money as like a cam girl. Maybe I could do that. I’ve got pretty nice boobs. Wait no people might look me up and see them when I’m applying to grad school. Okay I’m getting up.

Good thing I’m still wearing my makeup from the night before bc I’m not trying to sit here and beat my face right now. Shit my uniform is literally disgusting from sweating for thirteen hours yesterday. Dryer sheet and a 10 minute run in the dryer and she’ll be good to go. Hair...going in a top knot. Alright lets take some Advil and get this bread.

“You know you’re late, right?” “Yeah I’m really sorry I forgot my apron and had to run home and grab it”. Fuck off idiot. I may be late but at least I graduated high school. Holy shit why has no on done any side work? I’m literally going to be sitting here making coffee, syrups, ketchups, toast, sweet tea, lemons and place settings for the next hour to make all of $2.13.

Oh yes the first customer is here. It’s the boy I made out with at DKE freshman year and his entire extended family. And they’re sitting in my section. Can’t wait for his grandparents and dad to emotionally abuse me while his mom insists on making six to eight substitutions to whatever she orders. The chef is going to literally throw hot grease in my face when I put in this complicated order. If you could even call him a chef. He’s just one of the line cooks that gets screwed into making omelets and microwaving food from the night before every Saturday and Sunday morning, as if it’s some kind of promotion. I need to get these rich people drunk or there is no way they are tipping me shit. Read them the brunch drink specials. Make sure to lock eyes with the women when you are describing our specialty mimosas. Phew they ordered $150 worth of drinks. That’ll be enough money to justify half-assing the rest of this shift until I can go home and smoke a bowl to forget what I just went through. Oh the white girls at table 46 only tipped me $5 a piece? Shocking. Could give a damn.

If you did not relate to this post whatsoever and are still clinging to your fantasies of brunch being “like the best meal ever invented”, you my friend, are too far gone. There is no way a working class girl like me had any chance of getting through to you in the first place. I sincerely apologize for wasting your time. For the rest of you, I hope we all learned something today. And that the next time the topic of brunch comes up in the group-chat, you will make the noble suggestion that we just cook the cinnamon rolls in the fridge.

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duaneodavila · 6 years

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You Mad, Bro?

Since everybody is a cartoon character except you, because you are unique and special, it comes as no surprise that the outrage shown by Brett Kavanaugh can be reduced to a bumper sticker for convenient use on Instagram.

Variations on the phrase white male rage were everywhere. Some meant only to suggest that Kavanaugh could get away with shouting and crying in a way that an African American or a woman never could. While anger would be a more accurate word than rage, I have no objections to folks who raised that hypothesis; indeed, I am convinced by the evidence for gender inequities in responses to male and female anger.

Like Conor Friedersdorf, it seems patently obvious that the anger wouldn’t have played well had Kavanaugh not been a white male, although Clarence Thomas managed to pull it off during his confirmation hearing with his “high tech lynching” speech. But on the whole, it’s true that the same show of emotion is perceived differently for different races and genders because we superimpose our prejudice over their display and attribute it to acceptable, or unacceptable, traits and motives.

But the fact of prejudiced perceptions doesn’t cover the extension of particular circumstances, a specific individual, to the overarching contention that black men are more prone to crime white men are more prone to rage.

Many others, however, used white male rage to suggest a group characteristic, implying that white men manifest a kind of rage worth distinguishing from the familiar emotion known to humans of all races and genders. Had they carefully marshaled evidence for the proposition that white men are disproportionately “enraged,” rather than angry within normal parameters; that they are statistically more likely to manifest rage; or that their rage is different in kind from that of other groups, I’d have read their arguments with curiosity. But that isn’t what happened.

Much as journalists have worked hard over the past couple decades to eliminate their “benign” reference to race and racial stereotypes in reporting, it’s returned with a vengeance as reflected in the stream of articles about “white male rage.”

Coverage of the “white male rage” thesis is illustrative. To restate the context: The Kavanaugh confirmation hearing caused many observers to note striking parallels to the bygone battle when Clarence Thomas displayed rage at allegations of sexual misconduct. The nominees both won over partisans with righteous indignation. Yet the Kavanaugh hearings also prompted many in the press to probe a phenomenon they dubbed “white male rage” with utter carelessness, as examples will show.

Conor is a generous soul, characterizing this reporting as “utter carelessness.” He gives numerous examples of articles about “white male rage” to prove that it’s happening, culminating in a video about “white male rage” that completely isn’t.

For brevity’s sake, I’ll skip to the apotheosis of this ascendant trend in the mass media: an article published in a storied magazine that typically holds itself to much higher standards. “A Modest Video Artwork About White-Male Rage Filmed at Yale’s DKE Chapter” appears in The New Yorker. It features a video of fraternity boys screaming into a camera. But is the video really “about white-male rage”?

The 11-year-old video was about some fraternity guys asked to scream their hardest into the camera in exchange for a glass of beer, but presented to prove the existence of white male rage. Cool trick, right?

That is the degree of rigor one of the most esteemed magazines in the world found sufficient for bolstering a sweeping, generalized, disparaging stereotype about an identity group. Imagine the mocking disdain its editorial staff would have for a pitch that suggested a methodology as thin for illustrating a phenomenon they were even mildly inclined to doubt—or their horror if a conservative magazine marshaled a similar video as if it showed the truth of another group stereotype.

This isn’t “utter carelessness,” but deliberate effort to create a stereotypical characteristic to be used as a tool to undermine any reaction by white males to attacks against them. It’s the same false shorthand that its users complain are wrongfully used, except flipped on its head for use against white guys.

This is anything but carelessness; it’s quite calculated unless one believes idiocy has inflicted the mass of main stream reporting such that they are completely unaware of their carefully constructed lie. Much as one might want to avoid ascribing bad faith to anyone, it’s really hard to believe they’re all that moronic.

What’s more, their current approach undermines long-standing, hard-won norms against casually attributing to an entire race or gender behavior pegged to an individual or displayed by some percentage of its members.

A renewal of journalistic values is overdue. When we treat the “white male rage” thesis and other faddish, ideologically driven frameworks with such little regard for accuracy, precision, context, and relevance, we risk losing credibility and influence with readers who still value professional rigor.

Risk? That horse has left the barn. Constructing negative stereotypes when they serve the cause is either wrong or not, but it can’t be wrong for some but fine for others. And that it’s happening isn’t, as Conor suggests, a product of journalistic carelessness, but of journalistic advocacy. This might infuriate you, but then you would just be ridiculed as another example of white male rage, and nobody wants to be the cartoon character. See how that works?

You Mad, Bro? republished via Simple Justice

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