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#But my mum hasn't had it easy either because my sister is being a handful to her too
quillandrapier · 2 years
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At what age can you act like a dumb teenager and get away with it?
#awful I've been to live with lately#I'm staying at my sisters for a couple days after several bad breakdowns at my family home#And my sister walks in with a card saying I should consider writing something to mum and im just blanking#Because right now I resent her and hate her so much#And i feel like a monster for feeling like that and evil#We are on the same side but she really doesn't understand me#A couple weeks ago I had a full on tantrum after feeling very depressed... I'm 23.#My sister has been awful to me lately#And going home at the moment is so tough that it reduces me to tears and makes me actively suicidal#But my mum hasn't had it easy either because my sister is being a handful to her too#But she kept pointing out how negative and and she is right I am lashing out a lot but#I'm not dealing well with domestic abuse#When my adhd presents itself she acts like the conquenses are the worst thing in the world#She and I cannot communicate at all#She has never really supported me creatively or shown any want to understand me really#She makes me feel stupid and useless and gets defensive when I point that out#She isn't wrong im lazy and useless really#Her and my family make me feel like I have no real good quality and I'm untalented#She treats her two disabled kids like we are creatures#But she is probably right#I've been awful to her lately and I literally got so upset the other day after being attacked again I kicked down and broke a door and#Ran down my dirty street in socks and a t-shirt#She is talking about institutionalising me when I would not be this bad IF I WEREN'T ABUSED DAILY and she knows that#She never comforts me emotionally and I get it its not easy for her either#But im so alone and having the only person I talk to anymore be a person I can't communicate with sucks#And now I'm spiraling again
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