#But we're gonna create only the most important things *nods*

[askthechronoverse]

Chapter Six: Kind Hearts Don't Grab Any Glory!

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The forest was full of energy far too early for the dark clad adventurer as he opened his front door with coffee in a mug that had a picture of his face that was clearly drawn by a child. Hawkodile and another hybrid creature, this one an alligator crossed with an eagle were exchanging blows while a flamingo with a turtle shell watched eagerly.

"Hm. Gonna be that kinda morning." Rex muttered into his cup as he walked next to the flamingo. "You fightin' the winner, Pinky?"

"Yeah!" She turned to see who had spoken and laughed. "Did we wake you, old man?"

"Nope. But ya are on my lawn." He put his cup on the windowsill. "That means I get next as the host." He smirked.

"You? Don't make me laugh. Ya look like ya couldn't beat a drum solo."

"And you look like you should be on a bubblegum wrapper. We could always fight for next. I'm game if you are." He hit his left palm with his right hand balled in a fist.

"Don't cry to me when ya break your back!" The flamingo charged at Rex, who hit her with a left hook that sent her to the ground. She shook her head and laughed wildly. "Oh it is so on!" She came at the man with a flying kick, which he blocked with his arm. Another punch sent the shelled bird into a tree between the lizard rivals. They stopped to watch the flamingo rush at Rex, who countered the flying kick with a cross punch to her shell. Her kicks gained blinding speed, but the man was able to roll in time to avoid the more devastating blows.

"Dude. Who is that guy?" The gator lifted an eyebrow, flexing his black wings. "Hey! Guy! Flamurtle! We're fightin' over here!"

"Eaglator! Ya ain't the most important thing in the forest! The old guy's good!" Flamurtle finally landed a kick on Rex's chest, sending him into the side of his house.

"I ain't that old, Pinky!" He ran at Flamurtle with a Superman punch aimed at her shell. She spun around, dazed for a second.

"Bro. Can ya take this somewhere else? You'll get in the way!" Hawkodile sent a haymaker Eaglator's way, taking his rival by surprise.

"I guess you got a point there." By this point, Flamurtle had charged Rex again, but this only got the bird trapped in a headlock. Rex shrugged. "But this is my front yard. I should get a say who fights and who doesn't. I'm not a fan of rebuildin' my cabin every week." The punk bird slipped out of Rex's grasp.

"How we gonna settle this, old man?" Eaglator growled.

"First: I'm in my early thirties. Not that old. Second: I say we do this like Tyler Durden." Rex grinned wildly. "We create a fight club. It does mean we gotta play by some basic rules, but it'll mean we can avoid this crap."

"Ugh. Rules. What, so no low blows and stuff like that?" Eaglator rolled his eyes.

"Nope. Actually, one of them is literally 'one fight at a time'. Nothin' too restrictive." Rex leaned on a tree. "So. You guys wanna listen, or do we just go back to fightin' each other in a big pile? I'm cool either way."

"OK, bro. I'll hear ya out." Hawkodile flexed his wings. "What's a fight club?"

"Just that. A club where we fight." He was glossing over the more chaotic and anarchical aspects, but that wasn't relevant for this plan. "Two guys at a time in the ring. One fight at a time. No weapons, just you. If someone taps out or goes down, it's over. Fight goes on as long as it has to and we keep this little agreement between us four. If ya can agree to that, I think we can have some fun here."

"I'll agree. Those rules ain't bad." Hawkodile approvingly nodded.

"Eh, it's gonna be a change, but I'm down if it means I finally get some action." Flamurtle shrugged.

"Does that mean we don't get to fight any other time?" Eaglator folded his arms.

"Actually, no. Outside of the ring, I don't care whatcha do. I know ya got a thing goin' on and I ain't here to change that. Just make sure we all get a chance to hit each other in the name of sport… or training… or whatever."

"Fine. If Hawkodile's on board, I'll do it."

"Looks like we're doin' this. Let me go clear some trees." He gestured to a field close enough to be seen where they stood, but far enough away to not have flying fighters hit his house.

"Ya gotta let me help, little man. I bet I can get the trees cleared with my kicks faster than your punches!" Flamurtle rushed off to start clearing trees. The remaining three combatants worked to get a fence around the perimeter with the felled trees.

"Shocked he ain't tellin' us we can't fly. He's a human and the rest of us got wings." Eaglator rolled his eyes as he worked to hammer some logs into the ground.

"I don't think we gotta worry about him. I heard he has a punch that can cause earthquakes. I'm almost insulted. I think he was holding back on me." Flamurtle sat on top of an already hammered log.

"He probably was. I heard he went soft. Used to be the most feared thing in the whole galaxy." Eaglator laughed. "Why give that up to hang out with the Unikingdom royal family?"

"I don't think you've seen the guy when he's fired up, bro." Hawkodile propped a log up for Eaglator to hammer. "He's got some scary energy, I hear. It'd make my life harder if he tried to level the planet or something, so I'm glad he ain't about that right now."

"Hey! Little man! Were you holding back on me before?" Flamurtle shouted to the Master Breaker, who was in the process of installing a door in the area.

"I was about to ask the same thing, Pinky! Your kicks were weak!"

"I wanna get first fight with you, little man! It is so on!" Flamurtle shouted back, wings flitting with raw aggressive energy. The three men finished their work and the flamingo flew down to join them. "By the way, I so need to tell Owlamander about this. She'll want in, too."

"Ok. Here's how this is goin' down. Hawk and Eaglator, finish your fight. Then me and Pinky. Then winner of both fights gets the last one. We cool with this?" The other three agreed. "Cool. Go for it, guys." Rex walked to the door and closed it, waiting for the fight to begin. Flamurtle took a seat on top of the fence. The fight soon began, the two fighters clearly evenly matched. The fight went on for a while, during which Rex left and returned with sandwiches for the group. He jumped up on the log next to Flamurtle and offered her one. She took it and ripped into it.

"Why are ya here in a place like this, little man? Ya could be anywhere with the skills I hear ya got."

"I'm tryin' to find myself. I've been lost for a long time, in more ways than one." Rex looked at the fight, but his mental focus was on Flamurtle.

"Action Forest is some place to do it. You having any luck?"

"Not really. I think I got close, then I'm faced with my past mistakes again. I got time, though. More time than ya might think."

"I feel like ya got this. If anyone can, it's the famous Master Breaker. Ya just gotta do some breakin' in here." She pat his head roughly. "Don't worry. I'll knock some sense into ya soon."

"Wouldn't want it any other way, Pinky." Rex heard a shout from below them. Eaglator was tapping out. "Looks like we're up. No holdin' back this time, promise." He jumped down and smirked. "Hawkodile is the winner this round. Time to finish what the oversized lawn ornament and I started."

"Let's go, wingless wonder." Flamurtle beckoned Rex with her hand to make the first move. "Show me the strength that made the stars fall out of the sky! Ka KAW!" Rex turned and headed for the closest part of the wall to him. "Come on! You gonna chicken out now?"

He jumped to the top of the wall. Hawkodile could see the unbridled and deep well of rage behind the human's dark eyes, an anger that burned hot enough that it would swallow most weaker men whole. He wasn't sure Flamurtle saw this as well. The human jumped off of his perch and flew to the ground, fist held straight in front of him. Hawkodile made it his business to know Rex's fighting technique. He was already starting with his ace, the punch that helped end the universe. He wanted to step in, but the attack connected with the target before he could: the ground? Why did he miss Flamurtle? It took a few moments for the move to make sense.

The impact of the Master Breaker Punch caused Flamurtle to be knocked off her feet by the shockwave and blinded by the neon blue and green energy. Rex took advantage of the confusion and slammed into the flamingo with a spinning back fist, followed by a series of alternating left and right hooks. An uppercut sent his sparring partner flying skyward.

"Ya wanna call it now, Pinky?" He shouted, the fire in his eyes not letting up. "I could keep goin' all day."

"Death from above!" The flamingo flew at the man with terrifying speed and force, leg extended for a flying kick. She drove the man into the ground, emitting a scream that sent soundwaves into the hole Rex made with his body. She flew above the hole and laughed. "Get the lead out, old man! Come o-ah!"

Rex grabbed her left leg and used it to pull himself out of the crater, then threw her to the wall like a shot put. He rushed out to where she landed and hit her with an overhand hook to the beak. He then smashed her with a fury of jabs and hooks, yelling as he landed each frenzied punch. She blocked a few of the hooks, but most of them broke through her defenses.

"Love the fury, little man!" She threw her opponent a left hook, which landed on the side of his face. "Love the passion!" She jumped up and tried to hit him with a roundhouse kick and another soundwave attack. He blocked the kick with his arms, but was blown away by the yell. "Keep my heart racin'!" She tried to hit Rex with a spinning kick, but Rex grabbed her leg and threw her again, hitting her with an uppercut before she hit the wall. Hawkodile could see Rex was almost on a kind of autopilot now, letting his inter rage guide and strengthen his attacks. He would be interesting to fight, if it came to that in this arena. Another throw from Rex and Flamurtle was out cold.

"Rex gets the win." Hawkodile bellowed. He rushed to Flamurtle, who he was able to wake up. She staggered out of harm's way as the crocodile made sure she wasn't too damaged. "Flamurtle, don't push yourself next time. He had ya on the ropes. Think of this like training, not a real fight. No shame in tappin' out."

"You know I go all out, Hawk. That's all I do." She smirked. "Man, if I didn't have a nemesis… Woo!" Hawkodile rolled his eyes and walked over to Rex, who was doing circular breathing to calm himself.

"Rex, are you down to fight? Ya can back down if ya think you can't handle another." Hawkodile could see the man tremble and hear a jaggedness in his breath.

"I gotta keep up. I'll be fine." Rex waved Hawkodile away. "Are you ready, bro?"

"I'm ready when you are. Just gonna tell you what I told Flamurtle: Don't push yourself. This ain't the big leagues. Ya have nothing to prove."

"Let's go. Come on." Rex took a fighting stance.

"Alright, bro. You got it." Hawkodile's stance was defensive. He watched Rex's eyes and could see that fire again. Would it ever die down? Was that why he insisted on fighting despite needing a break? Rex charged at him with a heavy right hook, which wasn't hard to block. The two spent a few minutes just exchanging heavy blows until Rex jumped up on the fence again. Hawkodile flew on the fence next to him and knocked the man back down to the arena floor with a low sweep. Rex slowly got up, breathing heavily. Hawkodile didn't know if he should be in awe at his opponent's determination or worried. "Eaglator. Bro. Call it. He doesn't look good." This was answered with Rex setting up a Master Breaker Punch, the gator watching intently. He teetered on the top of the fence as he lined up his target. Hawkodile braced for impact, but his opponent simply fell off of the fence without finishing the move. The hawk caught him and put him on the ground. "Bro! Call the fight!"

"The guy said it himself, bro. Fights go on as long as they need to. He's still lookin' to fight. Look." Eaglator pointed to Rex, who connected a haymaker at Hawkodile's turned back. Hawkodile hit the ground and rolled his eyes. He blocked a few punches from the human before grabbing him by the collar.

"Bro. This fight is over." He threw Rex over his shoulder. "He may wanna fight, but he's not like us. He needs to build up to that."

"Ya gotta push yourself to get to where we are, Hawkodile. Let him finish the fight." Eaglator grabbed the human and set him down. "Ya hearing this, bro? He thinks you're weak." With a bellow, the human rushed at the hawk chimera, the fire burning hotter than it had all day. One punch and the fight was over… for Rex. Hawkodile threw the human on his shoulder, staring daggers at his eternal rival before walking out of the arena.

[captainkurosolaire]

Was quite captivated by your words. Pulled this quote to be reminded that our creations live with us and beyond us. —- :O! This is incredible and so sweet I was momentarily wordless. Very talented to see it given creation and amazing art even. But it does still ring true, it’s a unfathomable endless sea to admire and cultivate. I really do think exploring creativity and wherever passion is/may be concerned, is our real power, it’s the closest thing I know that not only we can give others, what we can bring to life or destroy, we’re the most limitless in the grasp of transforming what’s upon our distinct minds.

=Personal Story Time= If used correctly, it’s a real throne and kingdom that should be proud of that banner we bring. I live for that sight, that moment, to hear and not only bring it to be drawn by it! The more I’ve come to also take that in, I see everything is a story and life channels it into me and I am always compelled to write or do something because of it. Even my most darkest days and creative writing stuff I went through recently, I’ve put that even back on bring out in late night story que’s for the future, all my inexperience, all my flaws. Because all that is apart of me. I can’t ret-con myself either. …And because I treat myself like that and take everything in, I’ve become someone incredibly more whole. There’s a confidence now that stirs in my chest that tells me I absolutely, can achieve anything. That entire explosive energy in me, that’s compelled me to try channeling it outwardly too. Cause if I can feel like that, I know everyone else can cause they’re/you’re my betters. Should that not be what’s felt, well then I’ll make sure while I’m thriving and living to give everything my all until patiently that day comes. Moment’s can push you beyond things never thought possible. I was in a three-day coma, doubted I could even survive after I aspirated into my lungs, a botched surgery gone array. Had my colon removed for a year and then reversed back into me to try attempt to do a procedure that would give my colon its necessary functions again. Happened suddenly and the midst of Christmas even, I remember deliriously all the strong pain-killers that are so powerful they create life-like hallucinations, the aroma, the smell, everything I could hear/see witness, I was on such high stuff, I still even had dreams and with those they were formed from the realities of my memories, my experiences. When you have something like that flash upon your life, there is a message potentially hidden in all that. I would say before that I was more introverted then 99% of the people here. I never spoke barely anyone, I was quite to myself outside the very limited people and even those who were closest never really I expressed myself cause I used to be embarrassed of how nerdy, or everything I was still. I enjoyed many interests and things that I never knew would click, I lacked it all. My answer came, in writing. My canvas, the place where I found my own freedom. Because upon something like this, it’s natural for me, this is like having my feet buried in the soil’s of awaiting beach sands, I’m the most comfort in this element and environment. Nothing beats me here, ADHD to the point I needed special-care and education, mild case of autistic, depression, anything mentally that could attack me, I could defeat here. Lay it all out, become myself. I made my autobiography at 16, barely a life yet to make a story about, but you’d be surprised it had much writing, all the future written on that page! I started writing commissions when I was 18 for people on dating apps and Facebook even. I began making my own RPG elements, character sheets, I went for anything too starry or ahead of myself, when I got my second-chance, I took it!

And it let me even though I wasn’t able to attend my high school at that time, I was able to show people myself in writing and I overcame it, I became more confident and never again did I look back. I only decided to further venture into it. Because when I woke up from that whole health, stuck in a hospital a month in my own weakness and fragility, one of my closest friends passed and that tore my world’s existence apart – because, I didn’t get to show him that side of me, the one who meant everything. Never again.

I became someone who challenge and became his worst critic, every writer has one! I’m the worst, no one can out-perform me in being toxic or against me. No one is against me like myself, no one wants me to fail like some of the noggin voices in my head. But with every voice telling me to quit, give-up, I push myself and look back at the aftermath what I created the people, I spite and made because I fight! I create! I build! I go for more, no matter how big. I am drawn back to write again and again! Until I can’t no longer. For the longest time I felt there was nowhere I belonged because how vastly different I was with this passion so strongly pumping in me. But then I found this place on Tumblr and learned blogs, I found the right RP community, I found entire acceptance and everything a whole civilization, more then a few people. It made everything become even more encouraging. Now I’m even better than that long-time ago, I haven’t forgotten those moments, they carry and make-me, but now I’m even more tenaciously passionate. And many people have struck me down, targeted how deeply I was into writing, my passions, they succeeded, beat me down, made me overthink, they aided against my worst. But their shadows, they didn’t make sure the job was done, it made errors. The darker things become, the more space it consumes. Only takes ONE tiny star and if it glimmers a shine and when it does, it will bring a light that will carries a solar system. Within here; for every voice that used to exist that was spewing against me to damage me down, there’s now with one voice of someone, who’s been inspired, praised, seen or gone to a journey and trip around this tenure. They’ve echoed billions of sounds more impactful and I resonate with it, I create off it, and it’s going to eventually show how far I can take it, grow and nurture off this. I have no limits, I’m a writer, a creator inspired by the eldest of stone.

I can lose many things, but the one thing I will never let myself be taken away from is my moments of symphony, that are my choir of newfound life.

[mourninglamby]

I've always wanted to ask this question

If you could retcon ghostburs character what would you do?

..........no.

This is tricky to talk about because i'm gonna end up repeating the stuff i mentioned in a previous post but I'll try and keep it paraphrased at least.

(to preface this i want to say im not accusing wilbur of anything, i know he's not a professional screenwriter. im only analyzing and critiquing this based on how nuanced his understanding of these topics seemed to be up until recently.)

ghostbur started out fine. At first he manifested as the culmination of wilbur's fondest memories, which on the surface seemed fine and merely melancholic, but later is proven to be much darker and subjective when we learn he remembers his death along with other upsetting things as something happy and celebrated. The most important thing to note here is ghostbur isn't necessarily his happiest memories, ghostbur is the personification of what wilbur viewed as weakness.

His talk with quackity during the elections arc is indicative of this. That's why ghostbur is tragic, and why he works so well as a metaphor for the effects of mental illness and suicide. This is strengthened by those downright bone chilling subtle nods to wilburs mental stability when he was alive, where ghostbur confirms he would cry often, and was morbidly depressed (can't find the source, but it's a clip of him comparing himself to neurotic artists, which in and of itself is sooo fucking cool and poetic given wilburs character having theater and musical motifs).

With that background out of the way, ghostbur, to me, started out as a chilling reminder for how your mental health can not only affect your life, but the people's around you. There's a reason he rarely streamed his perspective. It was about seeing those repercussions for the literal and figurative hole he left behind.

When someone dies, when someone chooses to leave, it's a ripple effect. Wilbur left in such a gruesome, violent way, and with no explanation or even a note. It's hard for me to not be sympathetic when I myself struggle with feelings of hopelessness and self destructive tendencies, but that sympathy has it's limits when you recognize wilburs refusal to see reason or get help. I'm not saying this wasnt without environmental/situational factors, but that's still no excuse for his treatment of tommy (who switched roles with wilbur as the level headed parental figure depsite being 16), and later the entire country he created. This is why november 16th as a metaphor for the effects of suicide makes perfect sense to me, ending with (again, literal. the metaphor isn't hard to identify) explosive consequences for a seemingly necessary action.

Ghostbur, being wilbur, seeing this ripple effect, perceiving the hurt he caused not just by blowing up the country, but by leaving them, was really where i thought this story was going to go. the scene where he revisits pogtopia was haunting and fit his character arc (at the time) perfectly. It conveyed to the audience that just because you arent physically there, you leave things behind. You leave people, places, and feelings that will forever be affected by your absence. I would have had no issue if this is how ghostbur continued, and even if there were no advancements in how much these impact him, id still be happy, since dream revived him in a way that we're supposed to believe was prematurely. to me, ghostburs perfect natural ending would be to understand he hurt people, realize he was loved and that he only hurt himself, and then pass on, giving his loved ones who he saw semblance of reconciliation with a proper goodbye.

(i do want to say while i do have issues with how wilbur was revived, i think this metaphor could have continued without much confusion if wilbur merged with his ghost, and slowly started unveiling ghostburs memories of progress and emotional recovery, leading him to eventually realize recovery is possible and kickstart his redemption arc in a much more meaningful, literal way. but thats my own personal daydream.)

But here we have the issue with the execution of the character. I have absolutely 0 fucking idea why wilbur The Writer decided to turn a painfully raw, beautiful metaphor for suicide/mental illness into a woobified softboy baby. Not only does that make me feel like everything interesting about ghostbur is suddenly called into question, but if he is supposed to be detached completely from wilbur, then we fall back into the trope of needlessly demonizing mentally ill people, completely erasing any sympathy and clarity we would have had for wilbur posthumously. it threatens the validity and impact of anything he fucking said about "himself" back when he was alive. not to mention is it kinda uncomfortable to make the dead character seem happiest when he's dead, playing back into unsavory rhetoric about recovery.

What I'm trying to say is, from a thematic standpoint, it is completely useless. making ghostbur his own separate entity that has no association with wilbur ruins any nuance wilburs violent, deeply upsetting death had. If ghostbur is separate from wilbur, we have no frame of reference to how wilbur actually felt during l'manburg times, the elections, pogtopia, his suicide, NONE OF IT. So his death is added to the pile of characters that serve as a reminder to mentally ill people that is doesnt get better, you're only going to get worse, and then you'll die. Ghostbur was the reason why wilburs inital death became so poignant, and why the message is profound.

Im ending this by saying yes im aware not all mentally ill people are just good people with a scapegoat diagnosis for every bad thing you do. You can still be a bad person. What I'm saying is that this is an oversaturated, potentially dangerous message. (I once again have to link my favorite video about this subject, and i really really REALLY hope you watch it if you want to understand my frustration more and are understandably annoyed with my batshit insane thought process.) If that's the only consistent ending for stories like this, then that perpetuates the idea that there is no hope for recovery for mentally ill people, and the best option is to die.

So no, I don't want to retcon ghostbur. I want to retcon his most recent writing.

(i want to add that sometimes i fear that the smp members just straight up dont understand each others characters, and usually that translates into their characters interactions, but right now, if that's whats happening with ghostbur and why he’s being treated like a separate character, I think i made it abundantly clear that this is a HUGE DETRIMENTTTT. ok bye)

[aceofspadegrass]

Third Times The Charm~

Characters: Hatter, Niragi Suguru, Chishiya Shuntaro, Last Boss, @a-simp-20 , @niragis-right-hand-rabbit, and Me

Genre: Dunno, but Hatter's out for blood. ♥️ Hey, at least there's some fluff at the end!

1.3k words

We're back at it again, except this is more aftermath than actual heisting. Time goes by and this rendition of Hatter is gonna murder us one of these days.

Hatter thought it was the end of it all, he really did. The three that kept managing to slip underneath his nose, past the militants, would stop after a few times. No use in challenging fate too many times, there was always bound to be a slip-up somewhere.

Yet it happened again, and this time it was getting far too out of hand. He had just come back from a game, just as many of his loyal and dedicated people were doing at the same timeframe. Sweaty and exhausted from the Spades game he just had to push through — with an overwhelming success, he should add — he wanted nothing more than to sit back, relax, maybe have a nice bottle of that black cherry vodka he managed to win last week. What better way to relax?

Well, he wasn’t getting that privilege, as he steps into his room only to find something amiss.

“ Where. Is. My couch.” Hatter says to an invisible audience, eyes staring at the spots where his couches were. The funny part was, through the slow realization of the scene in front of him, was nothing else looked remotely out of place. Every little thing that he remembered leaving on the floor was still there, and nothing looked to be moved. The only evidence that anything was missing was the blank spaces, perfectly aligned in the sad shadow of his purloined couches.

Hatter slowly takes a slow, deep breath, eyes fixated on the spot — and perhaps a little bit of bloodlust was forming in his body, perhaps even more — and he lets it out, a smile of doom forming upon his lips. Oh, those three were definitely on his Super Duper Traitors list. Nobody was gonna steal his couches. Especially a second time.

Hatter strides away to his bathroom to wash up a little, finding zero reasons to not look good before he sends a search party for these three so he can finally get his hands on them. He splashes cool water on his face, washing away every bit of grime and sweat that remained on his face, sighing in relief as the water cooled him just a bit.

Not cool enough to dissipate the fire in his system, of course, but it was a good attempt on the water’s part. He straightens up, staring at himself in the mirror, smile curled on his lips as he nods to himself. “ Oh, this’ll be the day you’ll regret betraying me. I’m going to make sure traitors pay.”

Hatter turns around, his kimono swaying rather spectacularly as he begins his walk down to call a surprise manhunt. Sure, he felt a bit bad that he was sending out people just after finishing harrowing games for their lives, but it was for the greater good of him! After all, he knew what was best for everyone to get out eventually, and they all listened to him. He loved these people, how they willingly fought for the greater cause in support of him and the safe haven he created for all of them.

That support he got was going to a great cause, and that included finding the traitors. He passes by a few people, smiling as he relays the call to them, to spread the word to come back to the lobby so he could tell them all the important news. He doesn’t bother to check if they do as he asked, knowing full well that they’d do anything to help like the good people they were, making his way up to the floor where he usually spoke to the members of his beloved utopia.

Within minutes, the crowd filter left and right to hear what Hatter had to say next, Hatter smiling down at them as they all waited patiently for his news, a few chattering amongst themselves. Hatter raises his arms, a wide smile on his face.

“ Greetings everyone! I do sincerely apologize for calling you all here once more when you all deserve time to relax! Trust me, so do I, but this is quite important for you all to hear!” Hatter starts, voice clear and concise to attract even the most distracted of people. Eyes look up at him from below, Hatter raising his arms and clenching one into a fist. “ As you all know, there are three rules to this Beach!” One hand holds up three fingers, each one going down as he repeats them. “ One! You must always wear a swimsuit! Two! You can do whatever you want here! And three! Traitors will be killed.” Hatter lowers his arms to rest on the railing, leaning forward with a calm smile. “ This is about the third rule~”

That gets people chattering again, fear in their tone and faces. Hatter laughs, and he waves a hand to shush them. “ Do not fear! This isn’t about you, my beautiful and beloved members! No, this is about a certain group that continues to escape my grasp, ones that you may have seen before! They come in and out like cats in the night, frisking away my items like it is nothing more than candy in a candy shop! The horror!” He puts the back of his hand against his forehead, dipping down as if the sheer thought would make him faint. He straightens up again into that relaxed position near immediately, waving a hand out towards the crowd. “ But fear not, for I have a task that will require all of you, militant and guests alike! I want you to work extra hard in locating these dastardly fiends and bring them here so that I may properly hand them justice!”

The crowd grows louder as they continue to gossip amongst one another, and Hatter feels a wave of glee pour through him from the thrill of getting one step closer to catching these robbers. “ If you bring me them, I will reward you graciously! Consider this a bounty, a game without consequence on your end! You are all smart, capable people, and the power of many overthrows a few!” People begin cheering, Hatter looking through the crowd with his award-winning smile. “ Thank you for your patience and ears, you may all go have fun now~” He says, ending his rather passionate little speech as people cheered for him and chattered loudly, Hatter stepping away with a flourish.

Perhaps like this, he’ll finally capture the little thieves and he could finally rest.

Meanwhile……

“ Holy fuck your fucking nails hurt-“ There was a light chuckle, Niragi scowling with his eyes shut tight as his hair was massaged with shampoo, head tipped back into the water basin as he rested on a reclining chair. “ Sorry! I haven’t trimmed them yet, wasn’t expecting you to have a slip ’n slide for hair so it was a last second decision! Now stay still so I can wash your hair-“ They said, going back to trying their best to be gentle but firm.

Niragi pouts, but he lets it continue. Besides him was Chloe, who was casually humming the Mentos ad song while trying to give him a manicure, having already finished his other hand. In the background was Last Boss and Chishiya, the latter of which was just there for the free strawberry milk that was brought in. Last Boss was merely waiting for his turn for a head scrub, despite having absolutely zero hair to actually scrub. The both of them were chilling on the freshly stolen new couch, with multiple empty bottles of milk and a few empty water bottles at their (freshly water foot massaged) feet.

“ So…. are we ever going to tell Hatter that we’re borrowing his couch?” The last member of the heisting squad, Ila, asks. Chloe shakes her head. The one still scrubbing the giraffe lizard merely shrugs.

“ Eh, he’ll never figure out anyways. We’ll get away like we usually do, and these three are not allowed to spill because we’re nice and offered them a free spa day.”

“ You said you’d break my dick with a baseball bat.” Niragi mutters, just loud enough for them to hear. “ The offer still stands~”

[vickyvicarious]

Parker: "Teach me to like stuff."

.

Okay, so. I have some thoughts about The French Connection Job's Parker+Eliot subplot. And I think I wanna approach it separately, scene by scene from each of their perspectives, because we have a couple different things going on here. It's still a little more of a Parker meta than an Eliot meta, but I have enough to talk about on both sides, and they're connected enough not to be in separate metas, that I am going to do it this way.

Also going to put this under a cut because it gets long.

Parker

This whole subplot comes on the heels of the last episode, in which there was a lot of banter throughout about Hardison and Parker's dates, and him wanting to branch out into other things than just bungee jumping or whatever. We have seen hints of this throughout S5 so far, even though we're only a few episodes in at this point. They went on a world tour that was pretty much just jumping off of stuff, Hardison said something about them figuring things out. We saw a cute domestic scene of the aftermath of them watching a movie together, except Parker 'fell asleep again' and missed most of it, and Hardison eventually went off to work on his laptop. Parker tried to comfort him last episode about dust mites and ended up freaking him out instead. She talked about how she liked fire and Hardison complained she was missing the point of his offer for a candlelit picnic. They did end on a very romantic note with her still making the effort to make it happen but getting rained out, and him recognizing her effort and listening to him, and projecting the stars around the dark room then having the picnic inside. They are clearly very happy together and both making the effort to meet in the middle, but there are still some disconnects. Which makes sense this early on anyway, but it's not out of place for Parker to start getting worried about her limited interests here given the context of them contrasting Hardison's more widespread interests.

Starting right off the bat - there's a picture limit so I can't show these early moments, but throughout the first part of the episode we see Parker looking visibly upset/pensive. Hardison notices and asks her what's wrong, but is immediately distracted by his package arriving, and then the team gets into the briefing and he doesn't get to talk to her again. (Sidenote that this is pretty OOC for Hardison, and I have to assume he would at the very least come back to her later, but they were clearly trying to get Parker talking with someone else this episode and apparently couldn't come up with a better way to do it. His writing outside of the kitchen stuff was kinda off this whole episode anyway, what with the whole tip thing.) She was about to open up to him, however, which is important. There's also a scene shortly afterwards where she confides in Nate, again after he notices her being upset and asks what's bothering her. She claims everyone but her has 'a thing', and names a few of them. He asks her what she thinks when she sees Michelangelo's David, and when her answer is an immediate assessment of how it's guarded and what she'd have to do to steal it, he kind of hesitates and then goes right back to running the con. He basically gives up on helping her with this once it becomes clear that a quick sentence or two isn't gonna cut it.

So after those brief, unhelpful conversations, that's when she makes a move. She was responding to others before, but this time she comes up to Eliot, clearly nervous. And she asks him to help her feel something.

(I find it very interesting that she doesn't ask Sophie. Sophie is the person who she would usually go to for something like this, after all. But, aside from this being an Eliot-centric episode and just like them sidelining Hardison's possible assistance earlier the writers want Parker to talk with Eliot not Sophie, I think there are maybe a couple reasons why she might go to him here. First, just distance. Eliot is right downstairs, meanwhile at the moment Sophie is however far across town at her theater. Certainly not saying she wouldn't go to Sophie eventually, but maybe that's why not first. Second, she and Eliot have an understanding, one that's been explicitly acknowledged since the start of S4. They are similar in a way entirely unlike the rest of the crew. So while Sophie may understand emotions best, Eliot is the one most likely to know what Parker is talking about when she says she just isn't feeling anything. Which by the way I'm gonna get more into later on. Thirdly they're in love but that's not actually relevant here since all of the team love one another.)

Eliot

On Eliot's side, she approaches him when he's busy in the kitchen. This whole job is stirring up a lot of old feelings in him right from the start. Toby was someone who 'kept him from falling all the way down', and Eliot is deeply concerned for him. At the same time, the way they are running this con is allowing Eliot to take on the role of teacher. Even though his students aren't anything like the eager students Toby has just had taken away from him, Eliot wants so badly to take advantage of this opportunity to teach them - maybe even all the more because they're resistant. He's being given a very rare opportunity to indulge his belief that food is life and to share it on a larger scale. To use the knife to create, not just destroy. Leverage often walks a line between doing both (taking down the bad guys and helping people) but Eliot doesn't often just straight up get to just do the 'creating' part. (I mean, he loves the destruction too, he genuinely loves beating people up and taking down bad guys, but this is a rarer pleasure.) So he's pretty preoccupied with that at first, and initially dismisses Parker just like the other two guys did.

But when she just looks quietly disappointed at his response, he goes still and watches her. We cut away from them here so we don't see his actual response, but it's immediately clear that he's realizing this is actually something deeply important to Parker, and well worth his time.

On to the next part of this scene below.

.

[Eliot sets a dish down in front of Parker]

Parker: "...It's just food."

Eliot: "It's not just food! Alright, some people could look at it and just see food, but not me. I see art. When I'm in the kitchen I'm, I'm creating something outta nothing, you know what I mean? And sometimes I crush it, sometimes it's crap, but either way - it makes me feel something."

Parker: "Feel what?"

Eliot: "Just... feel."

Parker: [murmuring] "Feel... okay." [looks down at the food and hesitates]

Eliot: "You know, I didn't feel anything for a long time. Then Toby taught me how to cook, and after he did, I started to feel stuff again. That's why I share it through my food - this is my art. This is my art, Parker." [Parker nods, looking worried] "It's like lettin' a stranger in your head, just for a second. And you allow them to feel what you're feeling." [pause] "Look again." [he pushes the plate a little closer to her. Parker takes a deep breath and slowly sets her elbows down on the counter as she stares down at the plate. Eliot watches her closely.]

Parker

At this point I want to talk a little about what Parker means when she says "feel something" and talks about "having a thing." Because we've seen her have interests outside of straightforward thievery before. Sure, most of her hobbies revolves around stealing - casing local banks for fun, for example. But she clearly has a deep love for Christmas and for chocolate. So why doesn't she count those kinds of things as 'feeling something'?

I think it comes down to what Eliot's talking about here. It's a sense of art. Not even necessarily making it yourself, although that certainly applies. Parker likes sweet things like chocolate and donuts, but although she really really likes them they don't make her feel any truly deep emotion. It's more tactile than anything else, just a pleasant flavor. Her love of Christmas isn't the same either in her eyes because it's not uniquely hers. It's something she loves to celebrate but she can't do so all year round, and plenty of other people like Christmas too. This one comes a lot closer, because it definitely seems to be tied up more in community and family for her than something like enjoying chocolate and piñatas, but it still doesn't belong to her in the same way that cooking does to Eliot or theater does to Sophie. And while theoretically her love of base jumping and so on could maybe count, it is still so tied up in her thieving that it doesn't feel separate. She's really good at drawing but only thinks of it as a useful skill, not a creative outlet - this is similar to that.

She has been branching out into a lot of new experiences and emotions lately, and while she's struck out deep into uncharted waters with her relationship with Hardison, once there she's only seeing more and more things that she just... doesn't get. She loves spending time with him, and enjoys what they do together, but she doesn't understand all of those things. Not on a deeper level. She wants to feel that sense of connection to something, wants to feel deeply emotionally moved by something.

And honestly? I think she's way up in her head about it. I'm not trying to dismiss her struggle here at all, but I do think she is stressing herself out about having something uniquely her own. About having a huge interest that speaks so strongly to her personally. And those are amazing to have, but it's really not necessary. She doesn't need a strong secondary passion so much as she needs to let go of trying so hard to force herself into something.

And what's happening in this scene in particular is that Parker is trying so so hard to force herself to feel something. It's evident in her face throughout the whole scene, in her body language. And she is so terrified that it's not going to work that honestly, I'm not surprised at all that it doesn't.

Eliot

On Eliot's side of this scene, he feels like he recognizes where Parker is. This entire job has him remembering how it was to feel nothing. Her phrasing got to him deeply. He wants to reach out and teach her to see something more, just like Toby taught him.

He knew a bit about how to cook before Toby. But it was only seeing Toby's passion that struck something in him, that awoke a part of himself he might've never known before. For Eliot specifically, cooking being an art isn't just something he likes. It's something that brings him hope.

Eliot doesn't believe in redemption. But he believes in actions. And what Toby did, by teaching him to cook, was to teach him that his actions can be good. That he can create, not just destroy. That all is not lost - not 'for' him necessarily, so much as 'in' him. There is a deep empty place inside himself that he can enter so so easily. The difficulty is crawling back out again. Cooking was his rope out of there. He still finds it difficult to express his emotions very often, particularly verbally, but when he makes someone a meal he puts a part of himself into it. And yet doing so doesn't take anything from him, it just adds more.

This is all very vague and figurative and may make no sense, but the takeaway I want to have is that Eliot is opening up to Parker on a very deep level here. He feels like he recognizes what she's talking about, and it was a very bad place for him. (Again, I don't think she is quite that badly off at this point in canon, but I digress.) And while making food allows him to feel that he is demonstrating his love for someone, that he is sharing a part of himself with them, he recognizes that she isn't receiving that. What she's getting, is just a plate of food. Tasty food maybe, but nothing more than that. And so Eliot verbalizes everything to her in a way he rarely does.

And then he keeps trying. This scene obviously doesn't end up making her feel something, and we don't get to see the immediate aftermath of that, but we can glean a little about how they feel based on their reactions. And Eliot is deeply determined to help Parker feel something from his food. He insists that she play the food critic; even speaks directly to her and reminds her to consider what they talked about.

.

In the restaurant, we start out with Parker dutifully playing her role but feeling nothing much beyond just the role. Eliot checks in with Parker, she acknowledges that the food is good but doesn't make her feel anything, and he makes improvements based on her feedback. Then something abruptly changes.

Parker: "I can taste garlic, and mushrooms... and something else that makes me feel different."

Hardison: "Wait, was that for me, cause I-I don't get it."

Parker: "No, it's the food. I get it." [smiles] "I feel something."

+

Parker: "Mmm! These black noodles are amazing!

Eliot: "Parker, it's tagliolini nero con gamberi."

Parker: "Mmm." [eats a huge forkful] "Mmm. Mmmm. These are really good."

Parker

What just happened here? Last we saw from Parker, she'd failed to feel something from the meal Eliot made especially for her in the brewpub, and she was clearly disheartened. She felt it as a failure, very much in the sense of a disappointment. She didn't want to try again, didn't think it would work, and tried to protest when Eliot said she would be the food critic. Even once she got to the restaurant, nothing was happening for her.

The difference wasn't in the flavor of the food. The moment Parker started to feel something was right after she said she felt nothing and Eliot, instead of being disappointed or giving up, took it as a challenge. He changed his recipe, he improved it specifically to better reach out to her. He kept trying.

And yeah, maybe the bone broth helped it taste better. But that wasn't the point, not really. The point is that Parker had gotten herself stuck in a hole, trapped herself in this cycle of not understanding how things make you feel and then believing that she just couldn't. She wanted something of her own and she didn't have it and she didn't immediately get anyone else's thing either, and that was it. She just wasn't capable. She was other. This is an old old fear of Parkers, dating back to Archie or even before. Something in her just isn't capable of being like other people. She wasn't worthy of being in Archie's real family, and she's not able to feel passion for anything outside of stealing. (Setting aside the fact that she loves her team, that all she needed was the right family. That you don't have to be a creator to feel passion, and you don't need to be passionate about any particular thing in order to feel deeply and find beauty in the world.) Parker has empathized deeply with people, has felt so intensely before and is constantly trying to learn more and new ways to be. But because she is noticing her teams' passions now, she has this ideal that she wants to reach, and none of that is good enough for her. She doesn't even know exactly what her ideal involves, but she can't get to it.

But when Eliot doesn't give up, that gets to her. If he views his food as sharing himself with others, Parker finally gets what he's been trying to give all along. It's all about him trying again and again, changing his approach to match her better. That's what she feels, that's what she enjoys.

And once she starts, the floodgates open. She loves the black noodles. She is so happy, she is relieved. There was this huge resistance that she couldn't get past before, but Eliot persisting helped her to break past that and now that she is out of her head about it she can enjoy the food in a way she never has before. Because she feels his love for her in it.

Eliot

Eliot is trying so hard to connect to Parker. It's not really different from what I said in the last Eliot section, and basically the same as what I just said in that Parker section, but I want to emphasize a little more just how much this is about love on his end.

Eliot loves Parker. He loves her, and he wants so much to help her. It doesn't honestly matter that he does this with food, except for the fact that food is what matters so deeply to Eliot himself. He can't reach out to her in the same way through any other medium. And we don't get to see his reaction to Parker's moment of realization. But I think it would be such a deep sense of joy. This is as fulfilling for Eliot as it is for Parker. It's exactly what Eliot has been hoping for this whole episode, to teach someone else to see food in the same way he does. It doesn't matter if it only lasts for a moment or a single meal. That's enough. He has been the support Parker needed through this time of self-doubt. And it is all the more meaningful to him because this isn't just a random student, this is Parker.

He told her he loves her through his food, again and again, and she eventually felt it. She understood. That must mean so much to him.

.

I wanna end with one more brief note on Parker. Does she get her own "thing" this episode? No. No she does not, and this scene shows us that. Parker is not suddenly interested in food or cooking. The importance of that meal was purely derived from Eliot on the other end of it, focused on her and trying his best to reach out to her.

And I don't think this is something only Eliot could have done for her either, not really. The difference between him and the others this episode is mostly in persistence. However, it's also about her mentality. Hardison has built/done things for Parker before and she felt them just as deeply - but the context was different. She wasn't looking for a sense of beauty or art in the world at large then, and so even though she felt the love in the gift just as much, it didn't make her feel like she could find that kind of emotion in other things. She just wasn't looking for it. Also, it was made easier for Eliot to reach out because there's that connection Parker has with him, that understanding that they are on the same level somehow. She doesn't feel that with Hardison - and she loves him all the more for him being different from her, but he also I think can intimidate her with how good and open he is, with how much he can feel in so many different directions. It's part of why she got so worried about herself not being able to do so this episode.

Like, the team has scolded Nate for not having a life or interests of his own outside the job not too terribly long ago! And Parker has had her own joys before! But she isn't seeing that this episode, too caught up in this fear about not having her own 'thing', not feeling anything that way. So while anyone could have helped her through this, it was easiest for her to let Eliot do so + for him to understand what she needed from him. (Hardison in particular was rudely robbed the opportunity, but they all love and support her and could have reached her. Not to detract from Eliot doing so, but also I don't wanna sound like no other method of reaching out would've worked.)

But as soon as she feels something once with Eliot's help, that relaxes those fears. And then Parker is free to look in other places. She remembers Nate's comment about art, and maybe even tells him what she plans based on him knowing where she is at the end of the episode. And then she goes to visit this statue. In her own way which means breaking in, but without any goal of taking it. She just goes to look at the art. And she feels something again.

Parker doesn't gain some big passion at the end of this episode. She doesn't need to. She never did. She just learns how to let herself relax from that restrictive frame of mind. To simply be in the moment and enjoy things for the sake of what they are. To feel - not really in any way she was incapable of before, but intentionally now. It's a quiet victory, in the end. It doesn't mean she's going to get a new hobby or change her lifestyle at all really. But she's let go of a fear and is now intentionally seeking out new connections with the world beyond her once-limited parameters.

[mindswriters]

Next Morning - jj maybank × reader

Summary: y/n and jj are friends with benefits for a couple months ago, in secret of course, but after a night where the blonde could not control himself, you guys have to chase after a next morning pill.

Pairing: jj maybank × reader

Warnings: a tiny bit of smut, unprotected sex [no glove no love my friends], swearing, pregnancy scare, probably typos.

Word count: 3.1K

A/N: this is "low" key inspired by otis and ruby from sex education, i thought they were cute.

gif by @toesure :)

"Oh fuck Y/n, you're doing so good" JJ grunts as you speed your pace bouncing your hips against his shaft, riding him like your life depends on it.

Tonight was being just another boring Thursday night at the outer banks, at least until your best friend, JJ Maybank, calls you saying that he was alone at the chateau, and asked you to come over. A few months ago you guys updated your friendship with some benefits, and since then a day without your other Pogue friends means a huge opportunity to enjoy yourselves together, so why not.

"You fill me up so nice J" you moaned tugging his blonde locks while you sank yourself on his cock one more time.

Incredible as it sounds, this is the first time you're riding JJ's cock. After lots of tries, he finally left out his dominant side and let you take control of him, but obviously at some point he would buck his hips and meet your thrusts, making it feel even better. Honestly, he wasn't expecting it to be this good. He loves the way your breasts are pressed against his chest while you move your hips roughly, this position basically gives him a free pass to cover your neck with bites and hickies. And all of this plus your moans filling up the room are driving him insane.

"Fuck, I can't" he breathed out under your ear but you kept with your pace, looking for your high, and you could say it wasn't so far "Y/n, I think I'm gonna- oh fuck"

"What the actual fuck JJ?" you cursed panting when you felt the stick liquid scratching your inside walls and reached your high too.

At the beginning of this 'thing' you were still two good kids who always protected yourselves, but as deep as you dived in each others lusts, you discovered that neither you nor JJ were the biggest fans of condoms, so you made a deal, you can do it without them, as long as he don't release inside of you. And by the looks of it, he just broke the deal.

"Did you just came inside me?" you just aren't freaking out because you're still dizzy from your orgasm

"Shit I think I did" he said by passing his hands through his messy hair and heavy breathing.

"This is not a joke, JJ. Didn't you felt it coming?" you asked in a hard tone while reaching for his shirt to clean yourself up

"It was impossible not to feel it" the blonde answered with a smirk

"Then why don't you warned me, pulled off or whatever?" you now have a worried tone in your voice

"I tried! but come on Y/n, I'm mild high and you were having no mercy with me!" he exclaimed throwing his hands on the air

"Don't put this all on me" you ran your hands through your face and trying to stay calm, realizing the big problem you had just created.

"Hey, I'm sorry okay, even though you were riding me like a goddess, it was my dick who painted you so..." he said getting close to you and wrapping your naked body with his arms.

You softly giggled relaxing a bit with his touch, you know he's worried too, his brain is only a little slower than yours to process information, but you're sure that once he remember that one of the consequences of this "slide" could be an unexpected pregnancy and you becoming parents with 17 years, he'll freak out.

"So what do we do now?" he asked caressing your hair

"Since we're on the cut, without the twinkie and there's none 24-hour drug store in here, we'll go to sleep and wait until tomorrow morning to go buy a next morning pill." you explained what seemed to be the best option now.

"It means you're staying over?" he asked and you nodded smirking "Sounds good to me then"

After that, you guys took a quick shower just to free your bodies from the sweat and other things even more disgusting, and didn't even bothered in putting back your clothes, you just cuddled and fell asleep naked under a thin blanket, because above all, his body's heat still makes you feel safe.

¤¤¤

You can't say that you slept like an angel this night, you were too worried for it. So as soon as you saw the bright light from outside trespass the room, you carefully reached your phone on the nightstand and checked the time, it was almost 8 in the morning. Considering you don't want to be naked with your best friend in the spare room when John B arrives, and that the sooner you take the pill the better, you decided it was time to get up. You slowly pulled JJ's arm away from your waist and stood up without waking him up. You picked your underwear from the floor and put them on, along with your jeans shorts from the day before and lent one of JJ's shirts, the one with a Kildare Marina print. The boy only woke up when you got back from the bathroom, and opened the curtains, basically torturing him.

"Oh come on, what time is it?" he grunted scratching his eyes with the back of his hands.

"Time to fix the previous night, sweetheart" you answered picking up some clothes that were still on the floor.

"Can't we just wait a little more?" he yawned.

"No, we can't, unless you want to increase the chances of me having a mini you on my uterus" you stared him cocking your eyebrows.

"Okay, right, I'm up" he stood up quickly, but he wasn't 100% awake yet.

"Uh, try to put some clothes on, I'll be in the kitchen" you faked a disgusted face pointing to his not too little exposed friend.

While JJ was doing his morning routine, you started looking for something you could eat, but the old pizza slices, mold breads and cereal wastes didn't seem at all attractive to you and your lack of hunger. At that moment the feelings that consume you most are those of concern and guilt, concern because you know that the next morning pill isn't 100% effective, and you definitely can't handle having a baby now, you are too irresponsible for this, and that's why you also feel guilty, because if you wouldn't had accepted that goddamn "no condom" deal, nothing of this will be happening. But suddenly you were dragged away from your thoughts by the sound of the Chateau's front door opening, you could say that John B was trying to be quiet, but it didn't work very well, since the doors of the house are old and creak with any movement.

"Shit!" the brunette whisper-shouted placing a hand on his chest when he entered the kitchen "Wow Y/n, you scared the shit out of me, what are you doing?"

"Uh.... breakfast?" you quirked your eyebrows showing him the cereal box in your hands

"Yeah I can see you're doing your breakfast, 'what are you doing here?' is what I meant" he said placing his keys on the counter.

"I'm waiting for JJ, we have some important things to do" you said staring your cereal bowl, avoiding to meet eyes with your friend.

"JJ? Doing important things this early in the morning?" you pursed your lips in a suggestive smile and nodded your head "And why are you wearing his shirt?"

You almost chocked with milk at the question, stuttering to find a plausible answer "Because... I- spilled toothpaste on mine?" it definitely sounded more like a question.

John B was about to question you again but thank God JJ finally joined you, now wearing his classic boots and cargo shorts, and some random shirt.

"Oh hi Jombie" he said scratching his eyes with the back of his hand.

Before your friend could even answer, you stood up and made your way towards JJ "Finally sleeping beauty, can we go now?" you said linking your arms.

"I was actually craving for some breakfast first" he pointed to the table, where John B was putting some cereal for himself.

"You know what might happen if we get late, don't you?" you whispered quirking your eyebrows and giving the blonde a serious look and heading to the front porch.

"Ok, breakfast can wait, see you later JB, oh and we're taking the twinkie" he grabbed the keys John B had previously dropped on the counter and hushed to meet you outside.

"See ya weirdos" John B shook his head and rolled his eyes seeing the antics of his two best friends.

The drive to the drugstore was silent, but not an awkward silent, more like a reflexing silence. The more you tried to stay calm and shrug off all the "what ifs" in your head, the more the anxiety took hold of you. For JJ, you were going to take the pill and everything would work out, but you know it's not like that, these emergency methods don't always work, and if it doesn't work this time, you have no idea how to deal with a possible pregnancy at 17. What your friends will think when you come clean and tell them about your escapades and that they resulted in your pregnancy? How would you explain this to your parents? How would they react? How JJ's father would react? All this thoughts were zoning out in your brain when a gentle touch stopped you from freaking out. You moved your gaze from the window to JJ's hand rubbing your tight, and then you looked at his face to see a reassuring smile, like saying "it's going to be ok" but without words. You smiled back, feeling the anxious feeling leave your body and mind. It didn't take long for you guys to be parking the van a few meters from the drugstore.

You were about to enter the store when something clicked on your mind "Wait!" you said grabbing JJ's arm, making him stumble on his feet.

"What's wrong?" he frowned staring at you.

"JJ we live on an island. What if someone sees me buying next morning pills? I don't want the whole obx gossiping about me and my sexual slides" you said crossing your arms and looking away from him.

"Okay, I'll do it then" he said and you immediately stared at him, surprised and trying to figure out if he was being serious, just when you were about to complain, he gently squeezed your shoulders "Wait here, I'll be right back"

And just like that you were left alone in front the small store, you looked around, thankfully the street was pretty empty, so you decided to sit down on the curb and wait for him to come back. Which was faster than you expected. As soon as you heard the bell, you got up and waited for him to give you the box that he had in his hands.

"These are just bubble gums" he shrugged rolling his eyes.

"Bubble gums? What the hell JJ?" you laughed in disbelief.

"She said she couldn't sell it for me because I don't have a fucking vagina" JJ protested trying to not be so loud.

You sighed licking your lips. But is better to deal with buying the pill in person, to deal with having a baby. You opened your purse, looking for your sunglasses and when you found them you tapped JJ's shoulder "stay at the door, you'll be my look out"

"At your disposal, boss" he said holding the door while you two entered the store, you put on your glasses trying to disguise a little smirk in your lips.

You slowly walked between the hallways, pretending to be some random costumer, not that you weren't, you just don't want to seem so desperate. When you finally reached the cash counter, you looked over your shoulder to see JJ nodding and giving you tumbs up.

"Hey, can I have a next morning pill?" you mumbled twitching your nose.

"Sorry, I couldn't hear you" the woman on the cashier said.

"A next morning pill, please" this time you were clearer, masking the awkwardness with an even more awkward smirk.

"When did you last have sex?" the cashier asked.

"Last night" you stated, isn't it obvious? you thought to yourself.

"Did you use contraception?" the question made you stomach turn. Why did you have to be so irresponsible? Stupid deal.

"No" your whisper could barely be heard by you, let alone the woman behind the counter.

"Miss, did you use contraception?" she repeated the question after your lack of response.

"No, we didn't" your eyes widened when you heard JJ's voice coming from a few meters away.

Both you and the cashier stared at him, who immediately regretted the previous words "Sorry, I'm just the look out" he scratched the back of his neck.

Returning the attention just between you and the mild-age woman, she made a few more questions and after finishing to fill up your form, she finally gave you the little box with all the prescriptions to take the pill. You also asked for two Pepsi cans for you and JJ, you were about to pay the woman when you felt an around your waist.

"What do you think you're doing, lady?" JJ asked taking your wallet from your hands.

"Well, if you please give my wallet back, I was going to pay for those things" you stared at him trying to reach his other hand behind his back.

"No way, I'll pay for it" he returned the wallet for you and grabbed his own one on his pocket.

"J, you don't have to, it takes two to tango remember?" you protested biting your inner lip and giving him non-intentional puppy eyes.

"Then we should at least split it" he definitely has a point now.

"Okay, fine, you win" you rolled your eyes giving up and earning a grin from your best friend.

¤¤¤

After you and JJ have paid for the pill and your sodas, he said he wanted to go somewhere else, so he drove the twinkie to the old forts on Battery Jasper, some kind of cliff or mountain where we could almost see the entire Outer Banks. You guys sat on some old big rocks and while you struggled against the wind to try to read the pill bull, JJ decided to break the silence.

"Do you think we should break the deal?" he hesitantly asked.

"You mean the 'condom free' deal or all the friends with benefits deal?" you chuckled looking at the paper in your hands.

"Do you want to stop what we've been doing? 'Cause if you do I'm not stopping you, it's just- I really enjoy spending time with you and..." he started rumbling but you soon interupted him.

"Hey! chill out blondie!" you giggled cupping his face with your right hand "We don't need to stop it, even because I like messing around with you too, a lot. We just need to be more careful" you explained.

"Okay..." he relaxed with your touch and you two shared a smile and stared at each other for a few seconds.

You cleared your throat when you remembered that you were the one hurrying him up and now you almost forgot that you have a pill to take asap. You opened your Pepsi and medicine, putting the pill on your tongue and taking a sip of the drink to help you swallow. JJ watched you and while you were drinking again you heard little laughter coming from him.

"What?" you gave him a suspicious look.

"Nothing" he giggled making you narrow your eyes at him "I just imagined us being arrested for killing a poor little baby"

"So would you prefer waking up at 3am to changing diapers?" you laughed arching you eyebrows.

"Ew, no" you both erupted in laughter, you love the way you and JJ never feel awkward, not even in scary moments like these.

When you recovered from your crisis of laughter, you took a deep breath and felt a grip on your tight, you looked up to see JJ staring at the horizon, and you could say that he was thinking about something.

"You know, I would like to have a baby with you" he said with a shy grin.

"Oh come on J, give it a rest" you shook your head chuckling and taking another sip of your drink.

"No, I meant it! Of course not right now, but if we reach our thirties without meeting our perfect pairs, we could marry each other and just maybe have a little bit of kids" he said nonchantly.

"A little bit of kids?" you smiled and stared at him, trying to figure if he was being serious or not "I can't believe you're real Maybank" you giggled.

"What? Have you never heard that people are happier when they marry their best friends?" he suggested.

"Maybe" you shrugged looking away.

"So what? Do we have a deal?" he bit his lip quirking his eyebrows in your direction.

"I'm not making anymore deals with you, blondie" you said, immediately seeing his happy face fall to a sad one "But maybe, just maybe, I liked your idea" you smirked turning your face to look at him.

"I knew it!" he cheered with a kiss on your cheek and clicking your cans he said "To our future possible marriage"

"Cheers" you gave a little laugh, which was interrupted by your phone ringing.

As soon as you unlocked your screens, you were surprised with dozens of notifications on your twitter, and also 2 messages from John B, you opened them first.

Jombie 🏄‍♂‍: so is that the "important things" you guys had to do? am i missing something?

Jombie 🏄‍♂‍: 📷 Photo

When you downloaded the file, you came across a screenshot, it was from Topper's last tweet: a picture taken from outside the drugstore, through the glass wall, you and JJ standing in front of the cash counter, his arm on your waist, and thanks god, only the two Pepsi cans could be seen on the counter. Your eyes widened even more when you read the caption "Looks like Maybank and Y/l/n finally assumed their shit! What would those lovebirds be doing on a drugstore this early in the morning?"

"What happened?" JJ asked seeing how your expression went blank looking at your phone.

"Weren't you supposed to be the look out?" you said turning your phone to him and pointing to the screen blowing with notifications, but still showing the picture on Topper's tweet.

"Shit."

They have some things to explain now, or maybe some good excuses to came up with.

taglist: @blueflame2778 @outerbongs @maybebanks @k-k0129 @dani-c20 @jjsmaybcnk @wicked-laugh @wallflowercal @obx-pouges @alwaysasadaesthetic @marvel-ousnesss

[kiwiimmellon134]

ONE LAST TIME

(not my gif!)

summary — in which the resistance’s best fights try and recruit one of the galaxy’s deadliest creature resulting in an unwanted reunion.

word count — 2k words

paring(s) — vampire hunter!poe dameron x fem!vampire!reader

warning(s) — blood, violence, and angst

notes — this vampire au is heavily based on the vampire diaries so this is gonna follow a lot of the supernatural lore of the show. and my first fic on this app, be gentle

Being a vampire wasn’t exactly your cup of tea when it first happened. But the longer you were a vampire, the more you got used to it and the more you embraced it. You were turned by Emperor Palptine himself, the first vampire.

You were the granddaughter of a Sith Lord and it was why Palpatine turned you in the first place. You were a member of the Original Bloodline, the first line of vampires.

The Sith vampires became power hungry and started a war that lasted one thousand years, and is still being fought till now. It began with the Empire, led by your grandmother and Anakin Skywalker.

But then, Luke Skywalker destroyed the Empire’s weapon, seemingly ending the war. Until the First Order rose under you and Kylo Ren.

The First Order had allies among the vampire species. They made sure to make allies with the most deadly creatures in the galaxy. Although, the Resistance had an alliance with the werewolves. Meanwhile, the witches were neutral. The playing field was even since a werewolf bite was toxin and dangerous to vampires.

You had left the First Order a while ago. You finally saw the evils the First Order was doing and left. You snuck away in the middle of the night. You were an ally the Resistance wanted.

General Leia Organa sent her best vampire hunter, Poe Dameron, and his two closest friends, Finn and Rey, to find a new ally for the Resistance. They ended up on a planet named Vela, in hopes of finding this new ally.

"Where did Leia say to search?" Rey asked as the trio walked down the street that was suspiciously empty.

"Here," Poe said, leading them to a bar. Poe, Finn, and Rey entered the bar and were met with a bloody dead body. "Gross," Finn said softly.

They turned into the main room of the bar and saw the horror that waited for them. Blood splattered on the walls and floor, bodies were scattered along the bar and there were some dismembered limbs as well.

Poe looked over at the broomstick resting against the wall. Poe snapped a piece of the broomstick off to make a stake. He only knew about one creature that could create this kind of mess.

Rey swallowed down the distaste in her mouth and felt sick to her stomach. "Holy shit," Rey whispered.

There, in the center of it all, was you, feeding on a dead body with her back facing the trio. You released the man's neck with a snarl and the man's head fell onto the ground with a disgusting thud. You turned around with blood-red eyes and grey veins trickling down from your eyes.

Your mouth and chin were covered in blood. "You've got to be kidding me," Poe commented.

Your eyes turned back to normal and she sighed. "You've got to be kidding me." You said. "Haven't seen you around here in a long time," You added.

"Been busy," Poe answered.

"You know her?" Finn asked.

"I dated her." Finn and Rey turned their heads to look at him, "You what?" Rey asked.

"It's a long story," Poe replied. "It was your typical forbidden romance," You interjected, "Vampire," You pointed to yourself, "Vampire hunter." You pointed to Poe.

"And don't forget the fact you're a manipulative bitch," Poe added.

"Ouch," You put her hand over her heart, "Did my betrayal hurt you that much?"

You met Poe when you were still with the First Order. You found out he was a vampire hunter not long after you met and you came clean about being a vampire to him.

You both tried to make it work. You really did. But you came from opposite sides of the war. Kylo found out about your relationship with him and gave you a choice.

You chose the First Order, which broke your heart but you wanted to stay on the First Order’s good side.

"Okay, who is she?" Rey asked softly.

You introduced yourself to them, "And I come from the Original bloodline. And I'm a Ripper." You explained, "You know what that means?"

When you were met with silence, you answered your own question. "It means I literally can't stop feeding until I tear your head off," You explained, your eyes slowly shifting back to red.

Rey and Finn slowly moved behind Poe since he was the only one relaxed in this situation. "I need to talk to her alone," Poe whispered back to his two friends.

"What?" Finn asked, "Did you not hear what she just said? She will kill you."

"She can't kill me even if she wanted to," Poe replied. He looked at you with a small smirk, "Not unless she wants to deal with me for the rest of her life."

"Don't remind me," You rolled her eyes.

"Let's just say I have supernatural immunity. Go wait outside. This won't take long." Poe said. Rey and Finn hesitantly nodded and left the bar. They were glad to get out of the bar though, it smelt ridiculously bad.

"And what exactly are you planning on doing with that?" You asked, looking down at the stake in his hand, "You think you can kill me? I'm two hundred years older than you."

"I can take you."

You laughed softly, shaking her head slightly. "When did you turn it off? Your humanity?" Poe asked. He knew you wouldn't do it unless you didn't care, if you didn't feel.

"Two years ago." You answered, "I just need to get on human blood. Get off of that rabbit diet my uncle put me on and get back to my roots." Poe glanced down at the floor for a quick moment. Two years ago? You broke up two years ago. Poe looked back up at you.

"General Leia thinks you'll make a good ally to the Resistance. I don't know why since you're the same selfish vampire I've always known." There was a time when Poe really believed you could do good. That you weren’t the same as your family that was currently trying to take over the galaxy.

Just like there was a time where you believed you could change. You wanted to change. For him.

Your face fell for a moment. Just a quick moment as you processed his words. Then, your face hardened again and you replied, "Fucking hell, I lie to you once and you won't let me live it down."

"You could've killed me," Poe argued.

"Yeah, well, I didn't. You know that stupid curse got in the way. Believe me, if the curse didn't exist, I would've torn you apart... And you know it." The Hunter's curse was the only thing stopping vampires such as you from killing hunters like Poe.

If a vampire killed a hunter, the spirit of the hunter would torment the vampire relentlessly for the end of time. Or if the vampire drove a stake through their own heart.

You wiped her chin with the back of your hand and sighed softly. "So, why are you here?" You asked, "You miss me?" You smirked.

"No, I don't," Poe replied, "The Resistance needs your help. We're just asking for some assistance. Then, once the war is over, you can go back to murdering people aimlessly."

"I'm not gonna help you. I like my little neutral alliance. It's... strangely peaceful. I get to kill whoever I want without caring if they're on your side of the First Order's side. And it's not like anyone could come after me. I'm a Sith vampire. I have as much supernatural immunity as you." You rambled.

You took a couple of steps closer to Poe and looked down at his neck, hearing his heartbeat.

You looked up into his eyes and licked your lips.

"Yeah... Thing is... I'm not necessarily asking." Poe said softly. Before you could process what he said, Poe grabbed your throat and slammed your back on a tabletop, holding you down by your neck. He brought up his other hand and stabbed the stake in your chest, causing you to yell in pain.

"Two more inches and I pierce your heart," Poe said, twisting the stake slightly in his hand. You groaned in pain. "So what's it gonna be?" Poe asked.

"God, you're hot..." You whispered softly. You put your hand on his wrist causing his hand to tighten ever so slightly around your throat. "When did you get so hot...?" Poe slowly drove the stake further in her chest, you winced in pain.

"Don't flirt with me."

Your eyes flicked down to the stake and back up at Poe. "You wouldn't..." You argued, "If you did, my entire bloodline would come after you."

"Not like they could kill me," Poe retorted.

"You think the curse is gonna stop them?" You asked, wincing in pain again, "You fuck with one of the Originals and the others will kill you. Curse or not. Besides... You care about me too much to kill me."

Poe leaned down and whispered in your ear, "I couldn't care less about you. Gotta be honest, I might even hate you. So, it looks like our little love story ends here."

You tightened your grip on his wrist and twisted it, pulling his hand off of your neck and a loud snap echoed through the bar. Poe shouted in pain, which alerted Rey and Finn outside, and you kicked him off of her. You pulled the stake out of your heart and got off of the table, the wound already healing.

You grabbed his throat, like what he did to you, and stabbed the stake in his gut, expertly missing everything important. "You hate me?" You asked as Poe groaned from the pain, "That sounds like the beginning of a love story, Poe. Not the end of one." You heard the bar doors open and the footsteps of Rey and Finn coming.

You let go of Poe and used her vampire speed to leave the room before Rey and Finn came into the bar. "Poe!" Finn shouted as he and Rey rushed to Poe's side.

"She doesn't want to help," Poe winced.

"We noticed." Rey retorted.

Poe was fine after a long period of rest. You disappeared again, flying under the First Order's and the Resistance's radar. But Poe's seen the messes she left behind, the amount of people you killed made Poe second guess his belief that you could be good.

The war ended after many more months of fighting. The Resistance didn't need your help to win, but you still would've been a powerful enemy against the First Order. A lot of the vampires went into hiding and the galaxy finally felt peace.

Currently, Poe was back on Yavin IV, his home planet, tending to his x-wing with BB-8 beside him. BB-8 let out an alarmed beep, making Poe turn around. Lingering in the shadows was a figure Poe knew all too well.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He asked. You stepped out from the overhead shadow and into the light, "I heard the war's over." Poe looked at BB-8, not saying anything. BB-8 turned and rolled away from you two.

"What do you want?" Poe asked.

"I wanted to see you," You replied. "I've been thinking about—"

"—Save it. I don't want to play your games." Poe interrupted.

"Us," You finished her sentence anyways, "I've been thinking about us."

"There is no more 'us'. Not after everything." Poe pointed at you and took one large stride closer to you, "You did this to us."

"And you're right. I know what I did..." You trailed off. Poe could hear the softness in your voice, something was different from the last time they spoke in that bar. "I just... I'm sorry." You spoke softly.

"You turned your humanity back on, didn't you?" Poe asked.

"And I'm off human blood," You continued, "I stopped killing." Poe knew that statement was true, the killings dropped immensely toward the end of the war. You did stop killing.

"Just... Give me another chance. Don't give up on me... please." You pleaded.

"Tell me you didn't come here with the expectation that I would take you back just because you can feel emotions again." You frowned and glanced down.

"I just wanted to see you," You replied, "One last time..." You whispered.

"What does that mean?" Poe questioned.

"I'm..." You trailed off, stumbling slightly because your knees gave out from under you. Poe quickly threw out his arms and caught you before you could hit the ground.

"What’s going on?" Poe asked.

"Some werewolves jumped me a couple days ago..." You explained softly. You grabbed your jacket sleeve and slowly rolled it up your forearm, exposing the infected bite. Poe stared down at the bite mark, shocked.

"Heh... I'm dying..." You chuckled lightly, smiling weakly. Poe reached down and picked up your legs, carrying you bridal style.

"What're you—"

"—Shh."

Poe carried you back to his house and laid you down on his couch in the living room. Poe crouched down beside you and you shifted, getting comfortable.

"Poe..." You muttered.

"Just relax," Poe replied. Poe gently reached up and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear.

"I know... You hate me," You began softly, "And that's fine. But I..." You gently put your hand on his cheek, "I love you, Poe. I always have."

He mumbled your name, then used his hand to lower yours.

"What I felt was real... And I hope what you felt was real too... I just want to ask you one thing." You continued.

"What is it?" Poe asked softly.

"You know no vampire has survived a werewolf bite. And you know how painful a bite is in its final stages... I just want you to..." You stopped, taking deep breaths.

"You're asking me to kill you?" Poe asked.

"You didn't seem to have a problem with it at the bar..." You replied, "Please... I wouldn't have it any other way." Poe looked down in deep thought.

"There's no way around this. I'm not gonna live..." You laughed slightly, trying to lighten the mood, "This... This is where our love story ends." Despite the weak smile on your face, tears escaped your eyes.

Poe felt tears prick his eyes, "What about your family?"

"I don't even know where they are..." You answered. "Just do this one thing for me..."

Poe remained silent and stood up. "I'll be right back. Try and rest," He said softly. Poe walked away from you, thinking about his options.

He didn't have many. Let you suffer from the werewolf bite or... just put you out of her misery now. There was no cure for a werewolf bite. You were going to die.

Poe entered his room, feeling a heavy weight on his heart. He didn't want to admit it out loud but he did care about her. Deep down. He did.

Poe pulled out a duffle bag from underneath his bed and unzipped it. He reached inside and pulled out a stake. Poe exited his room and headed back toward you.

Poe gently lifted up your upper body and slipped on the couch under you, resting you back on his chest, putting the stake on the coffee table in front of the couch.

"Hey," Poe said softly, "I'm here. Just breathe."

You slowly looked up at him, "I can't believe I'm about to die with the entire galaxy thinking I'm a monster... Including you," You said.

"You're not a monster. I spent a long time blaming you for what happened between us. I'm sorry. You deserve peace." Poe said, his voice shaking slightly. Your gaze fell and she saw the stake sitting on the table

"Look at me," Poe mumbled, grabbing your chin and turning your head back up to him.

"Careful. I might think you actually care about me." You joked, your breaths getting shallower and shallower.

"Maybe I do." Poe replied, keeping his voice quiet and soft. Poe moved his hand to grab the stake from the table. Your eyes followed his movements.

"Hey, look at me," Poe said, seeing you look away. You gazed back up at him, "Just keep your eyes on me, yeah? Just look at me. Nothing else." You nodded again.

Poe brought the tip of the stake to your chest with shaky hands and then felt your hand on his, telling him that it's okay. "Don't forget me, okay?" You asked softly.

"I won't..." Poe answered, "I'll never forget you." Poe said softly, tears building in his eyes.

You nodded, tears falling down your face. You could feel him moving his hand back. "Wait," You whispered, using your hand to stop his hand, "Tell me you love me... Even if it's a lie. Please..."

"I love you." Poe replied with a shaky tone. Those words brought you a strange sense of peace. You finally felt peace. You leaned your head against his chest and closed your eyes. Poe pulled his hand back slightly and then stabbed your heart.

You gasped and Poe finally let the tears fall. Poe rested his chin on top of your head. Poe looked down and watched your body turn a dark grey color. You were desiccating. You were dead.

Poe sighed defeatedly and planted a kiss on top of your head. "I love you." Poe repeated quietly.

my one tag lol : @damndamer0n

[xxisxxisxxis]

La fin

Inspired by this ask.

Present day Duff and Vivian reflect on their romantic relationship

I sat down with my best friend to discuss our affair for the first time in 26 years…and gain a final piece of closure the two of us have yet to attain from one another. 

"This is gonna be interesting because both of our spouses are here." I say as I sit down, at my kitchen bar and Duff takes a sip of his water before joining me.

"Nah, Su's as cool as a cucumber. We got this." He replies. "...I don't know about Sixx but me, you and Su can handle it." He teases. 

"If you get war flashbacks, baby, just remember you're sober." I tell Nikki and he chuckles. 

"I'll just go to the bathroom and sing 'Kumbaya'." Nikki adds and Susan laughs. 

"It won't be that bad." She assures him. "I got my waterproof mascara on. I'm ready." 

"I'm getting through this without crying." I state.

"You cry over google commercials, Viv." Duff informs me.

"Because they know how to market. This happened…" I have to do the math. "...thirty-two and a half years ago. I won't cry." 

"Okay, well, just in case, I came prepared." Susan tosses me a pack of Kleenex. 

"Thank you." I say to her, doubting I'll need it.

"I'm about to start the camera." Nikki tells us, going to press start on the camera he's got set up to film this. "Oh, it's already started." He states. 

"It's okay, people won't care." I shrug, taking a sip of my Pepsi. "Okay, Hey, Guys." I say to the camera. "This is a very special occasion because I'm here with my best friend, and the father of my first child, Michael Andrew McKagan a.k.a Duff McKagan a.k.a Daddy McKagan according to some of you nasty, freaky, bastards." I pipe and Duff rubs his face. 

"Oh my God." He chuckles. 

"Do you read your instagram comments?" I remind him and he nods. 

"It's just so weird to hear it in real time." He explains. "I think that's one of the most odd things you can call a sexual partner. Like…'daddy'..."

We just stare at each other for a moment and I look at the camera. 

"He just single handedly dragged me in the nicest way possible." I say to him as Nikki and Susan try not to laugh. 

"No, I jus--well, you can say whatever the hell you wanna say and call him whatever you wanna call him because you've earned it with the shit you've been through, but it's just odd for me to go online and there's, like, girls 30 years younger than me calling me 'daddy.' Like, I'm not sure if you realize this, sweetie, but I have daughters your age." He points out and I start laughing. "I-I could actually be your dad. Careful now." 

"I think Vince has a higher chance of being these horny girls' father." I state. 

"I know, but it's just food for thought, you know?" He shrugs. 

"I don't even know how to transition from that to the topic--which is a serious topic, but this is just...oh my gosh." I giggle out, not able to stop. 

"Speaking of 'food for thought'," He creates a transition for us to go into what we're talking about and I take the opportunity. 

"Yes, we will be discussing our weird relationship-but-not-really-because-I-was-married-and-confused situationship in honor of my book coming out 'Verbatim: The Truth, The Whole Truth, & Nothing Left Unsaid', which tells everything that happened from 1981, to early 2000s, that people have already read about in everybody else's books." I explain. "I've had this, 'it isn't anybody's business' mindset and now, I feel like I'm in a place where I can tell what happened, including our thing--which is something, believe it or not, we have not talked about as much as people think we have." 

"No, we haven't." 

"I don't know exactly why we haven't spoken about it much, like it happened, it obviously happened because we got a son out of it...we just haven't acknowledged it happened, really. Which is why we're gonna ask the tough questions and hopefully get through some stuff."

"Which is nice because I honestly think the last time we even alluded to it was 1994, right after I got sober, and was advised to resolve things in my friendships, and even then we didn't get everything out there." He replies. "At least I didn't, and I feel like a lot of people have something to say about it, and we spent so many years letting other people define what that time was to us--which it was such a private and personal thing between the two of us that other people's two cent shouldn't have had the impact on us that it did--but we let it get to that point where we lost sight of what it meant to us and let it be defined however the fuck people wanted to call it. And that wasn't good for either of us, and I think that's one of the things that's kept me from bringing it up again. Especially now that, ya know, I'm married, have two grown daughters with Susan, you have Nikki and your children, and I've always thought there's no point in bringing something up that happened--like you said--thirty-two, almost thirty-three--years ago.

"Because you don't want to hear the b.s."

"Because I don't want to hear the b.s." He agrees. "But the more I've thought about it, there are parts of me that feels like I didn't get to say what I wanted to say when we decided to go separate ways, and that just gets fucking heavier and heavier with each year, and I'm sure you might, too." 

"Oh, definitely." I agree completely, able to relate to it. "I feel like one of the main reasons for me, why I haven't tried to talk to you about it is because, like you said, people will automatically start something out of absolutely nothing, but also because I felt like I never had the right to." I state and he furrows his brows a little. "Why did you wait so long to tell me how you really felt about me?

He lets out a breath before thinking a moment. 

"I refused to hinder what little happiness you had left in your relationship with Nikki. I knew you guys were struggling, I knew you were fighting like hell to get your relationship back on track, and I didn't want you to have any more confusion going on than what was already being put on you and if I would have told you how I felt, that would've done that. And then I was with Mandy for a while and that kinda helped me feel like I was over those feelings, but I realized I wasn't when she and I broke up."

"Did anybody else know about how you felt or..?"

"Well, I--yeah, Stevie thought it was just a little, like, I had a crush on you, but Izzy knew I loved you...which is why he wasn't shocked when they found out about us." He says. "...Of course he wasn't surprised because all the Nikki/Vanity stuff happened, so he was kinda expecting you to do something, which--okay, I don't know how to ask this." He admits, thinking of how to word it, glancing at Nikki. 

"What?" I ask him. 

"I just don't want to come across as an asshole for asking this because I'm assuming it's a lot deeper than just...okay, whatever, I'm asking it." He decides. 

"Okay." I prepare for it and he sighs. 

"Why did it take that level of public humiliation for you to realize you weren't in a good marriage?" He asks and it nearly makes the breath leave my body, Nikki and I looking at each other. 

"Because it was public." I confess. "Everything else that had been done, had been done in private. There was no public input on it, there was nobody watching the situation unfold under a microscope, everything that happened up to that point was private. So, he could trip during a crack binge and shoot me and I could stay with him because I didn't have the public watching me, giving their opinions. But when his mistress announces it on TV, I can't just gloss over that because now everybody knows and has an inkling that 'uh oh, they're not this perfect relationship they've made people believe they are' and yes we came out and said it was a lie and tried to undo that damage that Denise caused, so physically I was still in the marriage, mentally I was drawing up divorce papers. And I'm not completely sure it was just the very public aspect of it, I think it was the fact it was her. And I realized, 'I can't compete with a woman who has absolutely everything about her that Nikki is addicted to: she knows how to have a good time, she's equally as wild as him, she's got the sex appeal, she's got all the drugs, she's on the same level as him in terms of entertainment industry' just everything that I wasn't...she was. And I was too exhausted at the point to try to compete with her so I gave up when that came out."

"I remember Izzy ranting, 'she's fucking comparing herself to Vanity and there's no reason to'." He impersonates Izzy and I chuckle. 

"He drilled into my head for years to follow that I was fine the way I was, I didn't need to change anything about my looks, my personality, my hobbies, my sobriety, like it was like 'The Help' when she's constantly reassuring the little girl 'you is smart, you is kind, you is important'." I quote. "Anytime Izzy could see me struggling with myself or not feeling my best he'd be like 'seventeen outta ten, Viv. Seventeen.'" 

Duff looks enlightened, and points to the space behind my right ear. 

"That's why've got '17' right there." He realizes and I nod. "In his writing." He adds. 

"In his writing." I confirm. 

"That's--wow. I didn't know you struggled with that for so long because there was no competition." He assures me.

"Well, I already had shitty self-esteem and then that made it worse, and then even when you and I were together I still had this fear a little bit that you were only with me to help yourself get over Mandy." 

"Abso-fucking-lutely not." He doesn't even think before saying and I feel myself tear up a little. "No way. No freaking way. I loved you, Viv, I really, really did. When you told me that you were filing as soon as the tour was over I started planning out our lives together, as crazy or cheesy that makes me seem, like, I was really going for it." He tells me.

"Duff." I feel guilty, my heart aching a little. 

"I remembered, 'okay, she wants this many kids, she says she likes dogs but really wants a cat, too, she doesn't want to live in the middle of the city, she doesn't want an over-the-top house, she wants to go back to school at some point so I'll put away some savings for that', like, I was planning out everything and fitting Guns N' Roses in wherever there was time in that whole plan. I was ready to be with you and start a life with you. I really, really was." He adds and I see Susan's sympathy for him, only adding to my guilt. 

"Well, just rip my heart out, why don't you?" I ask him to add some relief and Susan giggles, her bright smile coming back to her lips. 

"Right?" She asks. "Geez, babe." 

"I'm just saying." Duff tells us. 

"Nikki didn't even plan his days out when he woke up back then, and then you were there with a calculator adding up how much money you probably needed to put away for my schooling." 

"We wouldn't have had any money to go to school, anyway, Viv, 'cause it was all going to taxes and heroin." Nikki points out and I think for a moment. 

"And house payments." 

"And house payments." He agrees as I look back to Duff, who looks like he's thinking about something. 

"Okay, sorry if this is a weird question, but what did you mean you felt like you had 'no right' to talk about our relationship?" 

"Okay, well, we broke up, I was working on things with Nikki, you married Mandy four months after we broke up...I felt like 'okay, you've already gotten your husband back, he's gotten Mandy back, they're married, who the--' pardon my french ''--fuck are you to bring up your relationship and how it affected your friendship when you're both married to other people and doing your own things? Who are you to be worried with your time with him when you're with Nikki and he's got a wife, now?'." 

"Ohh, yeah. Yeah." He knows what I'm talking about, nodding. "So, you kinda felt like it was disrespectful to dwell on it too long." He adds. 

"Exactly. And I didn't want to disrespect Nikki, or Mandy, or Linda, and now Susan, by trying to work on us again, as friends, because we are exes, whether we want to admit it, we are. We dated. And I feel like it's easy to forget that sometimes because it was so long ago and that freaking sucks because I don't want…" My voice cracks and he looks at me pointedly as tears come to my eyes and I take a deep breath. "...I don't want to forget that time. And I'm not trying to be rude to my marriage or yours or make it seem like I still have those feelings for you, because I don't, but I don't want to forget there was a time in that hellacious cycle my life was in at that moment, that for a few months, I was genuinely happy in the midst of my life falling apart." I explain, sniffling. "And that wouldn't have been the case, if not for you. And I don't want to forget that." 

"Vivian." He says as I grab at a tissue and I see Susan knuckle a tear in her tear duct. 

"I don't know, it just felt like there was never a right time to address what happened fully because everything was happening so fast in our personal lives, for you and Guns, for Nikki and the band, I started having kids, and you got married a second time and your drinking was worse and worse, so it just never happened." 

"Can I ask you something else?" He says and I nod. "When do you think we should have said, 'look, we were together, it happened, and it's okay'. Because we avoided it like the plague for years and still do at times, and that's practically due to--like I said earlier--listening to how people defined it. Like you were called a 'whore' and a 'slut' and just awful shit in public and in papers and tabloids for years after it happened and I feel like because of that, there was that element of 'we should be ashamed of ourselves and just pretend it never fucking happened' surrounding it, even though we had Monroe who's breathing proof of what happened at some point, but we just treated it as if we adopted him together as friends or something like--" I laugh, wiping a tear, and he laughs with me for a few seconds. "--it's the truth, though, we never talked about our relationship. We went on Howard Stern in '88 right after Monroe was born, and he grilled us about it, but we just shut the fuck down after that and didn't speak of anything again for a couple years until we got in that fight over you limiting my time with Monroe, and then again in '94, and that was it--and none of those times really accomplished anything. At all." 

"We should have had that conversation before you got married to Mandy that May." I point out.

"That was so, so soon." He smiles nervously. "That was too soon, way too soon, to get married."

"You proposed to her the day after we broke up." I recall and he nods. 

"I sure did. I sure as hell did. So stupid." He states. "I learned not to make important decisions when I'm in pain. 'Cause I married two different women when I was going through some painful stuff and only made it worse." He explains. 

"And see that's the thing because you had me completely convinced you wanted Mandy. Like I felt so much better when we broke up, knowing you were with who you really wanted to be with, and I was with who I wanted to be with, and then I found out in an argument with you that you were miserable and married Mandy to try to make yourself excited about being back together with her." 

"And that's exactly why I told you that because I needed you to be happy and if I would have told you how I really felt about you, you wouldn't have been happy because you would've felt guilty for staying with Nikki and fixing things with him. And I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I would have put you through that so I married Mandy so fast because I was hurt, and I thought I loved her as much as I loved you, and I held on to that and ran with it." He tells me. "Why wasn't I good enough for you to stay?" 

I go to answer, before the weight of what he's asking really hits me, and several tears topple down my cheeks before I'm wiping them away. 

"I can't begin to put into words how highly you surpassed 'good enough'." I inform him when I finally speak. "Um, my decision to stay with Nikki had absolutely nothing to do with you. That was all me, and issues I thought were resolved within myself that weren't resolved at all, I was just ignoring them." I say. "And something in me was telling me not to stay with you...and I fully believe that was God telling me to back the hell off because he had a plan for you and I had no business accompanying you in that plan as your significant other." I explain. "And I hate to say this, but I really feel like we would have gotten divorced." 

His eyes widen and his brows raise, a knowing smile on his lips as his nods his head. 

"And I hate to think that but we would have made it, maybe, up until '92 because I wasn't even your wife or your girlfriend but just being around you made me so miserable." I admit. "I-It was like--you would get up and start drinking until you passed out that night. I was watching the person who had his shit together the most in my life, fall apart, and that was scary for me because we had a son who was witnessing his dad spiral." 

"Yeah." He rubs his lips together. 

"And getting you to take accountability for what you were doing was like trying to bathe a cat." I add.

"And it took me months after getting sober to evaluate what went wrong in my life with the band, what went wrong in my relationships, what went wrong in my parenting with Monroe, what went wrong in my friendship/co-parentship with you, and own up to what I played a part in because none of it imploded on it's own, or just because of other people, like I played a part in all of it, too, and admitting that took a lot of time to swallow my pride and just accept that I became the very thing I got pissed at Nikki for being, years prior to that, and saying, 'okay, I made all those mistakes, I fucked up, how can I do better and learn from it to better myself, to better my friendships, to better my relationship with my son, and just do what I'm supposed to do?' And I even ended up going to Nikki, and apologizing for what happened between us," he motions between me and him, "because even before you and him were separated over the Vanity thing, knowing you went to me for shit, over him, made him feel less than, made him feel like he wasn't a good enough husband and I kinda felt the same way when he stepped up for Monroe when I was going through my drinking, and it made me feel like I wasn't adequate enough as a father because Monroe was leaning a bit more on him than he was on me, and for the shit I was going through in my life with my alcoholism and drugs, I was doing the best I could do as a dad. And it made me realize that Nikki was doing the best he could do as a husband back when he was in the thick of his heroin addiction, because he was sick and couldn't fucking help himself, just like I was sick and couldn't help myself, and neither of us wanted to hear we had a problem, neither of us wanted help. And I know people are gonna, 'well, Nikki cheated and was mean to her and this and that', I know what you looked like when Nikki was hurting you. I know the look you would get on your face...I know that I hurt you as much as Nikki did through my drinking because you would look at me the way you would look at him when you weren't recognizing the person in front of you due to how royally they had fucked themselves up." 

"Yes." I nod, not even arguing. 

"And that fucking hurt to realize that I was hurting you as bad as he had, and I remembered getting so pissed at him for doing that back in '86/'87 as he got worse, but then I did it, too, and that experience really opened my eyes when I got sober because I wouldn't have been humbled in that way had I not had a drinking addiction and reached that low, and I do think that's one of the reasons that was allowed to happen to me." He finishes and I take a deep breath before asking:

"If Monroe wouldn't have been conceived, if we wouldn't have had a child to come out of our relationship, knowing what we know now, how we ended up not staying together, the public slander and stuff we had to go through...would you still have had a relationship with me, if you could go back and change it?" 

"Without a doubt, yes." He says, matter-of-fact. "It would have been a waste of a blessing to not have taken the opportunity to love someone as recklessly--maybe even stupidly, at times--unconditionally, with the magnitude I loved you with, at such a young age. Like, usually you can expect to find something like what we had when people get a little older, and get through all their bullshit relationships before finding the person that loves them for them fully, but I had the chance of experiencing that when I was, like, in my early twenties...and I didn't experience that again, and so much more, until I met Susan." He says and I nod. "And I don't want you to think that because we haven't spoken about it, maybe as much as we should have, that I'm ashamed of you or us or embarrassed, because I'm not proud that we did what we did in that timing--because it was really shitty timing and we both can agree on that, I think," he raises his brows and I agree, "but I will never be ashamed, or apologetic,  or embarrassed that I ever had that with you. I felt like one of the most fortunate people to even know you, and then to have that relationship we had--even for the few months it lasted--was just...it was such a short time compared to how long you've been with Nikki and how long I've been with Su, but we spent it loving each other the best that we could. And we really did love each other, and we do still love each other--even if it's not in that same way, the spirit of it, I guess, is still there. There's still that 23 year old kid in me that'll kick somebody's ass over you, and wants to see you happy, and is in absolute love with you. And don't get me wrong, there's a 56 year old me that wants to see you happy and that'll still kick somebody's ass over you." He clarifies, making me laugh. "I'm just pointing out that even when those feelings went away, I don't think that bond ever did." 

"Yeah." I nod, sniffling as I press a tissue to under my eye to catch more tears. "Do you, um...do you remember our break up?" 

He exhales and gives me a little smile, nodding, before tears come to his eyes.

"I--yeah, I...I remember it…" He informs me. 

"We had just gotten done messing around, and if we did anything before we went to bed we would just stay in bed and go to sleep, but if we did anything in the afternoon or whatever we'd get up shortly after and clean up and go about the day. And we got done, it was, like, 2:00pm, and it was this odd feeling in the midst of it that 'this is gonna be the last time we ever do this with one another', and neither of us said a word, we just laid there with each other for four hours when we were done, taking in every second that we could. Well I finally got up to go back home and check on Nikki because he had OD'd the night before." I explain. 

"And you went to the door to leave and I stopped you, and was like, 'I know you're going to make things right with Nikki, and I'm going to fix things with Mandy, and I want you to know that I love you, and I'm proud of you, and I always will and always will be'. Of course you can understand me a little better now because I was crying when I choked those out, but, um," he laughs and I smile back more tears. "And you said, 'thank you, I love you, Duff' and gave me a kiss and a hug and then you were gone." 

"And we rarely spoke about it, again."

"And we rarely spoke about it, again." He confirms and I let out a breath, feeling more tears swell in my eyes. "What a fucking way to end a relationship." He adds. 

"This is where I'm really gonna start crying, um…" I start, chuckling nervously. "...I wasn't thanking you for being understanding, I was thanking you for everything that you'd done for me, and it took me a while to understand that that was one of the things I felt like was unresolved because that 'thank you' had a lot of weight behind it." I tell him. 

"Okay." He tells me, listening intently. 

"This is so freaking stupid and unhealthy but I wrote suicide notes for when Nikki finally OD'd and died, because I knew if he were to go, I'd have to go with him, I couldn't live without him." I tell him and he looks a shocked. "You taught me that I could live without him when I didn't think that I could, and you brought me so much peace and rest in a time when I couldn't remember the last time I was at peace, and I sure as hell couldn't get any rest. And I felt, and still feel, so indebted to you for those months that you spent trying your hardest to fix what you didn't break--you risked your career over me, you protected me, you defended me, you supported me, you loved me--and that's what I was thanking you for that day, and I feel like I've got a weight off my shoulders now because I have never told you that and I've always wanted to but didn't think it was a good time." 

"Holy shit, Viv." He wipes a stray tear, and I see Susan doing the same, Nikki just smiling at me like he's glad I've gotten that weight off of me, because he knows I've been wanting to say it for years.

"And I'm sorry it was such a shitty breakup that kind of came out of nowhere." 

"The way you were screaming and crying and begging God whenever we were trying to get Nikki to wake up, I knew if he lived you were gonna fix things. I was prepared for it, I promise." He assures me. "And I'm really glad we got to do this and get this out there with each other and I really hope you were able to get some closure with this, because I really did." 

"I did, too." I nod, wiping more tears. 

"I love you." He tells me as we get out of our chairs, giving me a quick, innocent, peck on the lips, before hugging me tightly.  

"I love you, too." 

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[rogue-barnes-16]

THE MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE OF NATASHA ROMANOFF (part II/?)

Summary: after the too convenient disappearance of Natasha Romanoff, the Avengers —a local biker gang— search for help in the most unexpected place in order to get their friend back.

Pairing: biker!Bucky Barnes x reader

Genre: angst-ish (biker gang au)

Tags:

The mysterious disappearance of Natasha Romanoff: @shirukitsune

Permanent taglist: @notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @1a-girl-has-no-name1 @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack @butifulsoul125 @unlikelygalaxygiver

Warnings: language.

A/N: lucky me, when I told you guys to choose a number from 1 to 12, 12 was the second choice. 12 was also the second part of this fic. I wasn't planning on starting this series so soon but meh, here it goes.

Part I

Rogue-barnes-16 masterlist

The steering wheel gripped, my jaw clenched.

"it's Natasha. She... Dissappeared"

I drove at full speed until I reached my building, and, once I exited my car, I made a beeline through the lobby to reach the elevator.

"it's Natasha."

I entered in my apartment and tossed the bag I had been carrying all the goddamn way to there. My door wasn't even locked before I kicked off my heels and started to unbutton my blouse.

"she... dissappeared"

All my clothes, one by one, had been discarded all over the hall on the way to my bedroom.

I let my body fall over my soft mattress, warm blanket and cozy pillows. I was so tired and my bed was so comfy.

It had been a long ass day.

My boyfriend refused to talk to me after the fight we had had; I argued with my boss and Wanda, my secretary and bestfriend got caught in the crossfire; I had to do a whole tone of work, and when I got out of the building, those two fuckers were there.

They had the nerve to come to my work place.

They had the nerve to come to me.

Natasha dissappeared, they had said.

And I didn't know why I couldn't get it out of my mind, because it couldn't be the first time something like that happened in their gang. They hadn't needed my help before, therefore, they didn't really need my help now.

No, it was a lame excuse to... God knows what.

I really could use some sleep, so I closed my eyes and let my body relax as my mind drifted off.

It's Natasha.

She... dissappeared.

I woke up after around three or four hours of tossing and turning due to the redhead's face coming to me every single time I started to doze.

Her eyes, her laugh, her smirk, her ferocity when she defended someone she cared about, when she defended me. All those moments in the bar she listened to my problems, all those times she sided with me even if that meant argue with her friends.

"what the hell?" I rhetorically inquired to myself, taking my hands to the sides of my head. "they got this handled, for fucks sake." I reminded myself "Stop overthinking"

A moment of silence, in which it seemed to me as if I was going to finally resume my sleep.

"fuck."

I left the bed and grabbed a clean outfit from the chair in my besides my desk. Ten minutes later I was heading out with my car keys and my phone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You planning on letting me in?"

"are you gonna come in or...?"

Bucky and I spoke at the same time, which created an even more awkward situation. He moved aside for me to enter before the vibes were unbearable.

Once I had gotten in, I turned left and went upstairs, where I knew the living room was. "I saw Sam in the balcony." I informed him. "are the rest here?"

"Some of them, yeah" the brunette replied, walking upstairs right behind me. "we've been trying to figure out a way to solve this."

To solve what exactly? I had no idea.

Just like I had no idea of how they could possibly need my help, and, most importantly, how the fuck I could help.

The first person I saw when I entered was Steve. He was sitting by the window in the largest couch, which wasn't that large. Besides him was Rhodey, who gave me a grateful smile that spoke by itself.

Sam got in the room accompanied by Clint who seemed to be complaining about something, until he saw me. "Holy fuck." He then stopped dead in his tracks, with disbelief in his gaze.

"Hey Barton" I greeted him with the most sincere smile that I could find in myself, which sure wasn't a great one.

But honestly, could they blame me?

"Hey Y/l/n" his voice spoke the astonishment he felt more than his words did. "Holy fuck." He repeated, which teared a chuckle from me.

"Okay" I spoke after a moment of uncomfortable silence, at least for me "so... is someone-"

Hesitant steps were heard coming from the third floor, and I turned around, waiting for whoever else was in the house. The rest turned to the stairs too, but they knew who was going downstairs.

"Buck, is that Y/n's car?" the brunette, green-eyed girl had been making her way to us until she saw me standing mid-way between the living room and the hall. "oh my God."

Rebecca, Bucky’s younger sister, didn't think twice before stalking into the room in my direction before crashing against me in a hug, which I instantly returned.

"I missed you so damn much" her whisper was muffled by my jacket. "oh my fucking God."

A smile tugged the corner of my lips "missed you too Becca" I pulled away, just to properly see her. "You look different"

"I chopped my hair off" she stated proudly, as if I hadn't noticed the most obvious thing of her change of style.

"looks great"

One of the boys cleared his throat and I remembered we weren't alone.

"okay" I spared Rebecca one last smile before walking towards the boys. "someone explain what happened. Like" I gave them all a warning look. "I want an actual explanation, not just one dramatic statement." My eyes landed on Steve, who had already his eyes shamefully fixed on the ground.

"C'mon Becs"

Becs.

No one would call Rebecca Becs apart from Bucky. No one was allowed too, because Rebecca hated it, except when Bucky said it.

When I first came to know about how it started with her older brother teasing her, it seemed so adorable to me, yet so hilarious.

I looked over my shoulder to peek at Bucky, whose hand was on Rebecca's back to guide her out of the room.

"I wanna know what happened too" she complained in lower voice, almost pleading her older brother with her jade eyes. "Nat's my family too."

Bucky denied "we talked 'bout it Becs. 'M sorry" what happened next, for some reason, shocked me and confused me at the same level.

Bucky glanced at Barton and gave him an almost imperceptible nod, right before leaving her sister and shutting the door behind him.

"Natasha was spying on someone" the dirty blonde man spoke. "She'd been for a while and-"

"who?"

"it's better if you don't know" I scoffed. "she would call us twice a day."

"until she didn't" I finished his explanation. "why was she spying on that someone"

"we owed a favor" Sam joined the conversation with that short and vague statement.

"to whom?" I questioned with my arms crossed over my chest.

"we can't tell you." Steve's words made me lose the one bit of patience that I had left in my body after a sleepless night and an stressful morning. "we really can't."

I tried to cool down before speaking, still, my words came out sharp and tense, and just a bit frustrated. "why am I here? Where's the rest?" they exchanged a couple of hesitant looks. "why. Am. I. Here."

"Y/n" Rhodey's voice was careful and worried as he meticulously measured his words. "we really need your help. We have nothing else, no one else, but we're gonna need you to trust us."

My humorless, sarcastic laugh was accompanied by a scoff, which made it sound even more dramatic. "that's not happening." shaking my head no, I turned around to leave.

I was rushing down stairs when I heard Bucky’s voice. "Y/n, wait" for some reason I didn't acknowledge, I did wait. "where are you going?"

"home." I bitterly stated. "I don't even know why I came in first place"

" 'cause you got a gut feeling" he walked downstairs when he was sure I wouldn't leave immediately. "and 'cause Nat's important to you."

He leaned against the corner of the wall, waiting for me to say something.

"why the hell did you leave the room?"

It was obvious that my question took him by surprise. "uhm" a frown made its way to his confused gaze. "I thought it'd be better if I wasn't there."

If you didn't have to see me, his blue eyes said.

"this is your house"

"I don't want to make it to make it more difficult than it already is" he shrugged, fidgeting with one of his rings. "I already fucked it up at the parking lot and--"

"Bucky" I pinched my nose, feeling the headache that would come sooner rather than later. "I didn't even know they were here" I clarified. "I came to see you"

His confusion grew in his face as he pushed himself off the wall with questioning eyes. "I mean-- why?"

"you said it." the car keys that I had picked out of my pocket while I traveled downstairs, returned to their original place. "I got a gut feeling. A bad one." I looked through the small window besides me. "You told me I was your only option. I came here 'cause I wanna help." he pressed his lips in a thin line. "I came for you to tell me what's happening, but no one tells me anything."

Silence.

"Bucky, I can't help if I don't know what's happening."

More silence.

"And y'all can't ask me to trust you." that was an actual warning, and he understood. "so either you tell me or--"

He walked towards me and reached behind my back to grab what I knew was his leather jacket and gloves, which he always kept on the hall besides the main door.

I spun ninety degrees and moved aside for him to have it easier to put his jacket on. "here" he handed me what used to be my bike helmet and grabbed his own.

"Where we going?" I inquired, making my way side by side with him towards his garage, already zipping up my leather jacket.

"Need a coffee." He replied climbing on the bike. "a good one. What 'bout you?"

He was already putting his helmet on, and I took it as a queue to hop on top of the back seat of his bike. "I could use one, yeah" I mimicked his previous action and, when I heard the engine, I secured myself by holding onto him.

"we'll talk while we have that coffee, okay?"

"Sure" I agreed, right before the bike took off at an insane speed, which made me hold onto him tighter.

Maybe, just maybe, I missed it a little.