#Calexit

[coolcomicbookcovers]

[graphicpolicy]

Matteo Pizzolo and C. Granda return to Calexit in July. Debuting at SDCC

Matteo Pizzolo and C. Granda return to Calexit in July. Debuting at SDCC #comics #comicbooks #sdcc #sdcc2023

Theme parks have already become political battlegrounds, but what if they became actual battlegrounds? What if the culture wars became actual wars? As mass demonstrations consume Hollywood, the comic book Calexit considers the question: What if California refused to be ruled? This is the world of Calexit: The Battle of Universal City, the new comic book series launching this July from Black Mask…

[tncountryliving]

If you're looking for a place to escape the chaos of city life and reconnect with nature and community, consider making Tennessee your new home. #CalExit Trust me, you won't regret it. #CountryLiving And if you need help finding your perfect #Country #Home, give #ChuckSimpson a call. He's a top-notch #RealEstateAgent in #Tennessee who knows this area like the back of his hand. Need help finding your #CountryHome ? Call Chuck Today (615) 973-9986 ~ TNCountryLiving.com

[hellpitofrandomscreeches]

Nobody:

Me: HELLO MY ESTEEMED AND EXALTED FRIENDS IT IS THAT SACRED TIME OF THE YEAR AGAIN

I HOPE YOU TOO HAVE GONE TO THE POLLS AND MARKED IN WHICH EVIL LORD YOU WOULD PREFER TO INVADE OUR NEWS FEEDS FOR ANOTHER FOUR YEARS

Also known as Election Month, that biannual period where we decide whether the world will be fucked by a party of morally bankrupt proto-nazis or a party of centrist defenseless pushovers for another four years, hashtag you got this america god bless the USA ((insert image of obnoxious and overly saturated Stars and Stripes flag overlaid with the national anthem and a saluting emoji here))

Somehow elections in this country always manage to be a weird, progressively more and more extreme twilight zone event where the two (2) ruling parties in the US each shovel all the rotting, moldy cabbages they can find out of their local supermarket waste bins and proceed to hurl them at each other with catapults while telling their respective bases why not to vote for the other side. If you do vote outside party lines it will be Death and Misery and Jail upon you all for 1000 years, also all that cabbage costs roughly 15 billion dollars and the sane people of this nation cannot fathom why you would spend this much money on 17.5 metric tons of cabbage 

We’re an Extremely Normal and Mundane country, y’all (we just really like our expired cabbage)

Anyways, in the midst of this extremely bizarre cabbage war and certain probably-shouldn’t-be-politicians tantruming like four-year-old children who Cannot Have Another Cookie, one might expect that people would get fed-up with this and want to Leave. And to this, dear random reader on this hellsite, I would say you are absolutely correct; people threaten this every year and then never do it, it’s basically a tradition of the whole thing and if no-one threatens it we have to buy all the cabbage again at full retail price and repeat the election until someone does. This is annoying and expensive and the wild cabbage is already endangered, so we usually pay Canada instead to take down their immigration website for a day and pretend it crashed from traffic in order to save another month and approximately 14.5 billion tax dollars.

But every once in a while, someone Actually tables a serious effort to secede, and it is always one of Texas or California (and not the states that have feasible chances of leaving ((see: skipping to Canada)), like Alaska or maybe Vermont). Most recently is the notion of a pact between the four Westcoast states, California, Oregon, Washington, and Hawaii, into a hypothetical “Pacifica” that would secede from the US over differing government/social values and the frankly bizarre and terrifying disaster that was The Blonde Gibbering Buffoon, Dare We Speak His Name. This, on paper, has several benefits for the Coastal West, which is a wealthy agriculture, technology, and strategic hub with a very different vibe from any other part of the nation, and apparently, very incompatible politics. (We solve the Redding Problem by carving it out of the ground and flying it by jet to Ohio, the rest of the rural farmland gets to adapt or die sorry)

Some scenarios envision these four states as their own nation in a sometimes balkanized US, while others see them join up with Canada and tip the power scales towards our northern neighbour. Particularly, after what is just blatantly a narrowly avoided coup on The Gibbering Buffoon (Dare We Speak His Name)’s part at this point, and worries about fixed elections, a kangaroo SCOTUS, and the claws of Ron DeSantis encroaching upon the White House next cabbage fight, people on the coast Have Had Enough of This Shit and support for the idea is at least high enough for it to be mentioned here and there. So as a native born and bred Coastal Californian, I thought I’d weigh in on the idea.

It’s rubbish.

All of it.

Unless the entire United States balkanizes into a few separate regions and power decentralizes from Washington DC, it’s not happening. And here’s why.

When people say the “westcoast” wants to secede, what they actually mean is California wants to secede. And whenever someone brings California’s Secession, AKA #Calexit, in a nationwide context, what they really mean is that Coastal California wants to secede. But make no mistake, the different regions of California most certainly do not want to secede for the same reasons. If you talk to the people on the affluent, tourist-and-corporation-dominated coast, it’s because of whatever the fresh fuck is happening over in DC/Texas/Florida this time. But head on up to rural Fresno Valley, or the low-key, overlooked town of Redding in the north, and things quickly lean more conservative. That part of the state wants to separate because it feels it’s not getting a fair rap against the far more liberal and densely populated coast, and the LA - San Bernardino regions down south are water-starved and want to secede because they feel the state isn’t handling their resources properly. 

California is larger than most European countries, and we don’t have a government that can unite all of our differing factions. Could we divide the state into different regions with their own localized governments, along with a “head” council in Sacramento? Sure, but that requires a more balanced and competent government then we actually have right now (and won’t have as long as Our Shit and Useless Servant Gavin Newsom is in office and Definitely Not Running for President). If we seceded as a state just because of what people on the coast wanted, we’d better be able to put our money where our mouth is for all regions and not just the Bay Area, LA, Sacramento, and San Diego.

Similar problems crop up in the northern states too, where Washington’s main secession argument comes from the east of the state, which doesn’t like being tacked into the more liberal coast. Also Washington State hates Canada so much that there is a piece of land the US government has to cover its ass on because Washington won’t have its border getting Canada Cooties, so for all y’all thinking we’ll just join up with Canada No Problem (more on that later) you can drop that idea at Point Robert’s doorstep. 

An argument could be made that these states have a chance of seceding if, and only if, we can unite the different factions under one government rather than just taking The Parts We Want. If that happened, the chances of a successful Pacifigone go up. But more realistically, just from how California voting works, what probably happens is the coast votes to secede and drags everyone else with them, and there’s some kind of unrest because y’all know Redding and East Washington and 70% of Oregon aren’t going with us quietly. We’d have better chances just taking the coast and Hawaii in that scenario and letting the eastern halves stay.

But then that doesn’t work either. Because as it turns out, the coast, including Hawaii, is actually of strategic importance to the US. It’s the reason we have so many navy outposts and forts here, and why Hawaii, Middle of Nowhere, has a huge military base. If there is one part of the West the US government will never let go, it’s the California coast and Hawaiian Islands. At the very least, they would demand the military remain, but then what’s the point of leaving really because the next guy could just annex us and we wouldn’t have a say in the matter. We’d be Taiwan except Taiwan actually has a chance for independence.

That’s not even getting into the economic problems of #Calexit alone. The government would crash if we left because it’s completely reliant on funding from DC, and also Our Shit and Useless Servant Gavin Newsom likes to throw boatloads of money at whatever problems we have rather than, y’know, solving them. California in its current form is not sustainable as anything except an arm of the US, and if we left and somehow didn’t crash and burn, it would require the initiative to restructure our government from the ground up starting from before we signed the Exit Papers. Assuming we did that, we would then be cut off from our most valuable resource we don’t actually have: Water. There’s only four sustainable ways for us to get water, and two of them, trading with other nations and relying completely on desalination plants, aren’t tenable for 39 million people and a lot of agricultural land. That leaves us: taking the Colorado river by force, which is a recipe for disaster, or pumping water down from Washington and Oregon, which Politiks has blocked so far. 

Assuming we get that sorted, we then need to figure out how much of our agriculture and farmland we keep, which is important for our trading power and basically means we need to make those non-coast people out in the rural farmlands and the north very happy so they don’t hop over to the US when we split. Again, all of this would require that all three pacific states secede at the same time (Hawaii optional), and that all three or four pacific states coordinate to be one territory, and that every part of each state stays in and we can distribute our resources fairly and well enough to position ourselves to do economic battle with our pissed-off next door neighbor. Tall order.

And you can bet like when the UK did Brexit, Westcoasters will lose US cred and free movement throughout the US. Corporations will leave because we’re not part of the US anymore, weakening us and then causing more corporations to leave as a result of that. Say goodbye to Hollywood and the Silicon Valley. Also anything that needs to be imported will come with huge tariffs, because, y’know, our next door neighbour is pretty pissed off with us and isn’t going to play nice. So really, there’s no true way for California and the West to be autonomous on its own - it needs to have strong relations with somewhere in the vicinity. And while I see it reaching down into the Pacific region, I do have to wonder if gravitating towards China as an alliance wouldn’t upset the political map too much. (Read: Our very pissed off next door neighbour gets even more pissed off with us and throws a tantrum and invades and sentences us to Jail For 1000 Years) Likely we’d group up with Australia/NZ, Japan, Taiwan, pull Hawaii into our orbit, and so on, but the Pacific States+islands aren’t enough of a world power to contest both the US and China. 

So this is where poor, shackled-to-our-bullshit Canada gets dragged in. The west (read: The Coast) is more liberal than the rest of the US, so would also-liberal Canada like to take us? It does seem obvious. And the answer to that is, probably not??? I mean sure, they wouldn’t turn their nose up if they were offered The Silicon Valley, but it’s worth considering just on a practical basis that there are 38 million people in all of Canada. There are 39 million people in California alone. Washington and Oregon add an extra 10.9 millionish. Under no circumstances could Canada annex the West-coast unless some Extreme Gerrymandering went on - the Westcoast would annex Canada. Not to mention if they Fucked Up the merge, more than doubling their population without government money and infrastructure to support that would be a disaster. Culturally, it would also be a disaster; differing climates (and in California’s case, Mexican/Spanish influence highly outweighing anything Canadian) aside, these are still formerly American territories, and just because they seceded doesn’t mean they’ve lost that. Canada would need to ask itself if an American influence more significant than all the people in their territory was something they wanted to invite into their country. Canada would also need to ask if they wanted to risk potential Bad Blood with the US, which would not be happy if those states jumped ship, and would especially not be happy if they jumped ship to Canada. I think Canada would trade with us and relax the border, but ultimately not take us as provinces.

(Really, the only US territories that could realistically join Canada are the ones with geographical proximity, such as Alaska, Vermont, Maine, etc.; I’m not convinced they would want to extend too far south at all even if US opposition wasn’t a factor.)

But there’s still one final nail in the coffin that outweighs any of the logistics or potential benefits. Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that yes; California, Washington, Oregon, and maybe Hawaii all seceded from the US, and this happened peacefully and without a military tantrum from USgov; that yes, they were able to unbork their governments, redistribute their resources, relocalize districts and power to make everyone happy and unified, and hold on to their economic, corporate, and farming leverage, and that they then formed strong trade alliances with the AUS/NZ/Pacific Islands region, Japan, perhaps China, the US, and Canada. Maybe to sweeten the pot, Canada actually does take us, and it somehow isn’t a disaster. In a vacuum, everything is perfect. But then, what’s happening in the US proper?? If the West leaves, you’ve pretty much just saddled whatever’s left of the Midwest+NYC area with Jesusland Racist Hell. 

That place will go to the (proto-nazi) dogs quick, because here’s the thing: The US can take the hit of not having the Westcoast anymore, and still be the world’s most powerful country. Except, now it doesn’t have the one serious balance check that the Democratic Party needs to have a chance. If the West seceded, in just a matter of two or four years the Republican Party would control everything. Y’know, those guys who look up to Victor Orban’s meticulous dismantling of Hungary’s democratic system as a role model so much they had him come speak in Texas. The ones who stacked and bought SCOTUS while simultaneously admitting to being a pure obstructionist party intent on making sure no-one does anything productive in the government if it’s not them. The ones who spout routine trans/homo/racial/xenophobic content constantly on mainstream news media. The ones who sponsored McConnel, and Trump, and DeSantis. The ones who willingly condone the suffering cutting our basic welfare programs would bring, and already condoned the suffering the abortion bans brought. The ones who can’t even hold themselves to the very lowest bar of decency and guarantee they wouldn’t just turn around and start helping Russia instead of Ukraine if given the keys to Congress. The ones who mostly stood by and stayed silent and even helped out when Trump was trying to dismantle our election system. Those guys. 

If the West secedes, there would be about two years at best before the rest of the US falls into the claws of someone like Trump or DeSantis and spirals into a mirror of Margaret Atwood’s Gilead. The GoP knows this. They would hold the door open for us and slam it on the way out. And at that point, given the US Proper’s obsession with the military, we could quickly expect another Anschluss - The West and Canada would become the Austria and France to the US’ Nazi Germany. 

The truth is that just like Canada is shackled to our bullshit, we’re shackled to DC just like the other Lower 45 are. Running away from our problems - the main reason we’d secede - isn’t going to make them better, it’ll just expedite them. So for better or worse, we’re all in this together. And knowing that it is we on the coasts who make the hope for a sane political majority going forward possible means we’re obligated to do at least one thing at minimum: stick around, and make our voices heard. (If we overthrow Our Shit and Useless Servant Gavin Newsom and install someone who will actually run the government properly, that’d be great too, but no fingers crossed on that one) 

There’s no good future in which the West leaves and the rest of the nation stays intact and able to inflict whatever damage it likes. But it’s also becoming clear there may be no good future for the nation in general if it continues on like it is. Part of me wonders if we’ll voluntarily balkanize into a few bigger regions in the future, or if we’ll separate by predominantly “red” or “blue” state. A US with a more european-union stance to its state boundaries and an emphasis on local governments could solve a lot of problems, and given the way things are trending after SCOTUS’ overturn of Roe, that’s the way we might drift. 

Or, y’know, we could start sawing. It hasn’t worked in Florida yet but we’ve got two times the people we might just pull it off

/endrant

[eastsidemags]

Matthew Rosenberg & Matt Pizzolo Signing

Comic Book Modern Icons Matthew Rosenberg (Marvel, DC, Image, Black Mask Studios) and Matt Pizzolo (Black Mask Studios) are stopping by East Side Mags on November 12 to hang out, say hi and sign copies of their books WILDC.A.T.S. #1 (DC Comics) and Rogue State #1 (Black Mask Studios)!

This is a short visit so be sure to get here plenty early so you can get in and get your books signed or pick up a copy of either or BOTH amazing #1 issues!

We will also be pilfering our stock to find any books they have already released so you can get those signed too! We’ll have copies of:

What’s the Furthest Place From Here (Rosenberg)

DC vs Vampires (Rosenberg)

Task Force Z (Rosenberg)

Joker Presents a Puzzlebox (Rosenberg)

Calexit (Pizzolo)

Young Terrorists (Pizzolo)

Godkiller (Pizzolo)

and more!!!

So don’t miss this lightning fast event or you’ll miss it!

[pinene]

I went traveling last spring break to visit California and we drove through a bunch of other states along the way and tbh it really changed my mind about america. Despite all the problems literally everywhere here I don't think its fair to put down an entire state just because of stereotypes and politicians (especially the heavily gerrymandered ones in the south) bc every part of america has something beautiful to offer!!! Also I support California independence now

Literally! I mean honestly I am starting to think that in general, shitting on someone bc of where they're from is maybe.. not the move? I will admit sometimes it's funny, but when it comes from a place of "where you are from has a lot of problems".. that's kind of fucking stupid bc there's a strong chance the person you're saying that to is aware of the problems and is perhaps even victim to them? Yeah like the way ppl talk about the south like it's just some conservative racist hotbed with no rights and everyone that lives there is ignorant it's like. Fucking ridiculous lol. A law could be passed in Texas or Florida that's like "we can hunt trans children for sport now" and people on this website will be like "lol you should've thought about that before living there!!!" and suggest that anyone who wants to have an actually good time should move from their hometown. It's ridiculous. I get that a lot of you really want to leave where you're from but plenty of people don't and that's totally valid.

Also? America is literally gorgeous lol it's an objective fact. I don't see too many people try to deny that anymore but it was hot for a while. The problem, as always, is that y'all just lack any kind of nuance, and can't fathom being against the SITUATIONS and the POLITICS of a location, without being against the PEOPLE and the LANDSCAPE. Like if you wanna talk shit about.. Minnesota, bc it's cold and you hate being cold, okay. But saying like, the Dakotas are stupid and boring because there's no major cities there and the politics are conservative, is just crazy! that's people's home! not to mention this is all STOLEN LAND!! Talking shit about an area because the people that violently colonized 200 years ago it left a very boring, conservative populous in their wake is...not good?

Anyway yeah Californian independence etc. and I wouldn't object to taking oregon and washington with us cuz I love pine trees. Maybe we could also take Hawaii and then immediately give them independence bc the USgovt prob wouldnt?

[olderthannetfic]

Watching your blog with baited breath for the Calexit discourse to begin

(Stay strong)

--

We have the vegetables, the wine, and the porn. Fuck the rest of the country. ;)

[cicadaland]

Calexit would be so beautiful I hope it happens in my lifetime

[pwrn51]

What If California Seceded from the US?

  Exploring the Hypothetical: What If California Seceded from the US? In a recent episode of “Lest We Forget-Historical,” host Lillian Cauldwell delved into the intriguing question: What would happen if California seceded from the United States? While secession remains extremely improbable, examining the potential consequences sheds light on the delicate balance of power within the US. The…

[zooterchet]

Kill the Batman (The Arab Drug Dealer)

Famous Foes of Literature:

Hannibal Rising (Venus Terzo).

Dark Knight (James Holmes).

Angel (Scott Peterson).

Beyblade (Jeffrey Lange).

Casino Royale (Andrew Schuck).

Skyfall (Judi Dench).

No Time to Die (Alexandra Rhzanova).

Calexit (Cassie-Leigh Stock).

Alias (Dan Slot).

Featured Writes:

William Riker (Star Trek).

David Xanatos (Gargoyles).

Goku (Dragonball).

Mickey (Area 88).

Shin (UN Squadron).

Megaman (Megaman X1).

Harry Potter (Novel Series).

Voldemort (Movie Series).

Quake Guy (Quake 1).

Mackelvoy (Law and Order).

Detective Flass (Gotham).

Contributions to Gaming:

GTA3.

Gears of War.

Candy Crush.

Arkham Asylum.

Arkham City.

Arkham Knight.

Arkham Origins.

Left 4 Dead.

Cyberpunk 2077.

Dead by Daylight.

Irish Mafia Wetwork:

New England Restaurants Investment (Boston PD).

Legal Weed (Tree Surgeon Approved).

ONI Assassination of Queen of England (Mossad Gestapo, Hanoi SIS).

Syria No-Fly Zone (Russian Mafia, Hopkinton High).

Barack Obama Election (John Allen Muhammad Escapes Custody).

No-Sauce Pizza (The Reverse Fart Sniff, Heterosexual Italy).

CIA Assassinations (Putin Gun Control Platform).

School Shootings Averted (Alex Jones, Sandy Hook RCMP, Goes Down).

Trump Indictment (The CIA Dies, if You Fire Us).

Goddess Arsine Dodges Prison (Luke Cage).

Marvel USMC Shuts Down (Hell's Angels).

Sons of Anarchy (Marilyn Manson Jailed, Twiggy Ramirez Free).

The Spy Who Loved Me (It's Not Merely Physical, Joshua Moen).

Russian-Jewish Medicine (McHale's Navy, the Film, TV Show Too).

Autism Speaks Rights (Labor Programs Halted and Reversed, For Down's and Lobotomies).

Mad Pride (Masturbation Returned to Mental Illness Community).

Apple Shutdown (MUSH Removed, Spies on Shareware Now Illegal).

Adderral (Not For Self-Defense, Sorry B-Rock, You're the Machines).

MI-6 Bellevue (Snitched, "Gotham"' BD Wong Wasn't Gay, You Stole His Daughter for Porn and Prostitution).

[dixiedrudge]

#CalEXIT Sounds Promising to Majority in Golden State #NationalDivorce

(Texas v. White is Fake News – DD) Help Dixie Defeat Big-Tech Censorship! Spread the Word! Like, Share, Re-Post, and Subscribe! There’s a lot more to see at our main page, Dixie Drudge! Most Californians Believe They’d Be Happier if State Seceded (Newsweek) – While many reject the idea of state secession as a fantasy of just a few, a new survey revealed that a majority of Californians feel they’d…

[graphicpolicy]

Crowdfunding Corner: Black Mask announces an anthology to benefit the WGA

Crowdfunding Corner: Black Mask announces an anthology to benefit the WGA #comics #comicbooks #graphicnovel #kickstarterreads

Backer Beware: Crowdfunding projects are not guaranteed to be delivered and/or delivered when promised. We always recommend to do your research before backing. A new comics anthology curated by the creators of Calexit aims to celebrate the Hollywood Labor Movement’s massive success and also support workers impacted by the dual Strikes as the WGA closes its historic new deal with the studios.…

[fangirlnationmag]

Calexit: The Battle of Universal City Sets a Battle at a Theme Park

The new comic from Black Mask Studios, Calexit: The Battle of Universal City, is a new comic book series which examines what would happen if California went rogue. Written by Matteo Pizzolo, and with art by C. Granada, we’ve already seen Rogue State from the creators. Now, we take a look at the battle in the streets of Los Angeles. The graphic novel will release in time for Comic Con…

[comiccrusaders]

MATTEO PIZZOLO AND C GRANDA RETURN TO 'CALEXIT' IN AUGUST FROM @BLACKMASKSTUDIOS! #comics http://ow.ly/9qMw50Osw4y

[uriahcantdraw]

just hearing about calexit 3.0 for the first time

can yall stop trying to secede FOR 5 MINUTES

WE DO THIS EVERY YEAR