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#Captain goes nuts in aussie land
captain-dad · 9 months
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Seen in Australia, Perth
Somoebody edit a pacifier onto him tho I can't on my phone
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mariusroyale · 3 years
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You better give us some headcanons on the crew /j
Unless-
uh hah ha-
LESSS GOOOO
Kwazii:
- what’s the bet he watches and rewatches pirates of the Caribbean
- he’s littered with scars! battle scars he calls em and it stresses out peso bc he doesn’t WANT MORE SCARS ON HIM
- i hc him as bi! he just radiates bi energy to me-
- he blinks slow around peso :>>
- has used his claws to pick locks before!
- kwaso bc duh- he loves rubbing his face against pesos like he can’t help it he jus HAS to bc he loves him sm
- this is sort of canon already but he can’t go a minute without jumping or doing front flips anywhere like he GAHTTA MOVE
- when he’s thoroughly spooked he’ll jump extra high and cling onto the ceiling like in those cartoons akdjdkdh
Peso:
- often studies when he’s not busy!! gotta know more abt how to help sea creatures he hasn’t encountered yet after all
- sings/chirps when he’s v v happy
- FLAPS when he’s happy too hahdkfjd
- i think he’d like watching medical dramas! probably me projecting but i like them
- WHAT IF HES INTO KDRAMAS (ive only gotten into one but that hc is cute ahehsj)
- loves listening to kwazii’s stories!! (this is already canon basically (cough cough, that snail ep in season 5))
- I’d like to think he preens sometimes! just sorta fixing up his feathers and some (kwazii) of the crew are like ‘why are u stabbing urself’
- is a super fast swimmer! this is already confirmed p much but like HELLA FAST
Barnacles:
- enjoys listening to classical music
- also SOME HARD ROCK IF HES FEELING IT
- is BEEG LIKE 🅱️EEG 🅱️EEFY 🅱️OLAR 🅱️EAR
- could sometimes act like captain holt in my version of the crew!
- and by that i mean he sees kwazii as a son and would die for him (not if i die for u first captain!)
- when really really tired (as in u can’t save him with coffee) he’ll just blabber abt how much he treasures the crew and how much he’ll do for them
- sometimes he doesn’t get enough sleep! (like tweak-) and peso as his doctor has to keep him in check cos like yeah captain ur strong as shit but ur still old!!!
- his teefs are super fuckin S H A R P like sometimes when he needs a knife or maybe scissors he’ll just *SLICE*
- he’s obviously a huge softie but man this guy is SUCH a cutie patootie id imagine if he was in a relationship he’d be nonstop affection and all that
- speaking OF affection, he’ll pull kwazii into these big ass BEAR HUGS bc augwh he loves this cat so much “my SO N” “CAP LOOSEN IT A LITTLE IM A BIT SQUISHED-“
- bad at cooking but delights in watching cooking shows from time to time
- probably watches bob ross
- ohhhhh my god he could totally be an artist n stuff
Shellington:
- this one’s so stupid but, tweak and kwazii keep giggling whenever they make him say ‘LAWRENCE CHANEY’ KAHAKAHDS
- I’d like to think he tries to learn new languages too!
- falls asleep at his desk sometimes and one of the crew either carries him to bed or puts a blanket over him
- tries his hand at cooking with his children the vegimals! does not work out well he’s a disaster
- enjoys watching stuff on YouTube! u decide what youtubers he watches
- could hc him as ace!
- does that thing and eats ice
- he’s a lanky guy but almost reaches the captains height in my version
Dashi:
- sometimes when she’s really really frustrated she’ll just accidentally bark and she’ll just be like “😳 my bad-“
- when she’s particularly delirious (exhaustion, probably) she’ll chase her tail
- when she gets really excited her tail will wag really really fast
- adjdk sometimes when she’s super hungry she’ll skip chewing food and just I N H A L E (re: does not bode well when it’s noodles)
- sometimes she’ll just sleep in weird ass positions, neck tilted n all that
- loves dressing up tweak sometimes when she’s comfy with it (gives her her own stylish tomboy fits and stuff)
- LOOOOVES the barbie movies god she grew up on them and sometimes she’ll just watch fashion fairytale or princess charm school
- forces koshi to watch them too (she also loves them)
- visibly winces when kwazii tries mimicking her Aussie (tho it sounds p kiwi to me) accent
- probably watches drag race
Tweak:
- watches game grumps ajdjd
- sometimes gets too loud in her room when playing games cos she’ll get mad n shit
- “GODDDDAAMMIT I WAS SO CLOSE TO COMPLETING IT”
“TWEAK PLEASE ITS 2 AM GO TO SLEEP”
- sometimes she’ll just. eat leaves (even when they’re just on land in the wild if she knows it’s safe she’ll just. *nom*)
- goes NUTS whenever she makes blueprints that are like, detachable parts of a gup that are also modes of transport like she loves that the gup k and gup q
- like making it she’s like “HOHOHOJOUO WE GETTIN FUNKY WITH IT TONIGHT BOIZ” and it’s midnight and ‘bois’ is herself
- wants to redesign the gup f! ofc it was dodgy and is now a teeny artificial reef but she wants to make a new one that looks like the design she wanted initially !! (clownfish im p sure at least)
- her and kwazii get up to stupid shit in my version, assuming it doesn’t harm her gups or other creations
- when she’s pissed off/frustrated, she’ll tap her foot really quick repeatedly
- and while her ears twirl around each other when she’s scared, her nose also twitches!
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grigori77 · 6 years
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2018 in Movies - My Top 30 Fave Movies (Part 2)
20.  OVERLORD – 2018’s chief runner-up for horror movie of the year is brash, noisy and spectacularly glossy, but also fiendishly inventive and surprisingly original given that it borrows its central concept from several older, schlockier offerings.  Originally touted as the fourth film in the Cloverfield “franchise”, time (and producer J.J. Abrams) has told, and this is in fact entirely its own thing – an action-packed horror thriller set in the explosive midst of World War II’s D-Day landings. Nearly the entire narrative thrust of the film revolves around US Army Private Ed Boyce (Fences’ Jovan Adepo), a gentle, shy draftee who’s part of an Airborne squad sent to jump in ahead of the Normandy invasion and knock out a German radio tower built on an old church, but when their plane gets shot down over the drop-zone he winds up one of a ragtag team of only five survivors, led by young but battle-hardened veteran Corporal Ford (Everybody Wants Some! star Wyatt Russell, son of Kurt), who insists they complete their mission.  When they reach the tower, however, they find the town under the control of an SS company led by Captain Wafner (Game of Thrones’ Pilou Asbæk), who spearheads an unholy experimental research project attempting to bring dead German soldiers back as unstoppable zombie killing machines.  It’s a deceptively simple premise, but from this little acorn has grown a mighty oak of a film, a thunderous, non-stop thrill-ride that cranks up the tension within minutes of the start and never lets up thereafter, keeping us drawn out on a knife’s edge for long stretches of unbearable suspense when it’s not hurling a series of intense and brutal set-pieces at us, some of the most bravura sequences playing out in audaciously long single-take tracking shots.  Relative newcomer director Julius Avery may have been an unknown quantity (he only had one feature to his name before this, so-so Aussie heist thriller Son of a Gun), but he’s taken to this challenging project like an old hand, showing the kind of amazing talent and seasoned skill that really make you want to see what he’s going to do next, while screenwriters Billy Ray (The Hunger Games, Captain Phillips) and Mark L. Smith (Vacancy, The Revenant) have taken the seemingly clichéd material and crafted something rewardingly fresh and inventively nasty, the kind of body horror gorehounds go proper nuts for. The cast are also uniformly excellent – Adepo is a likeably vulnerable hero who finds his courage over the course of the film, so his transition from timid boy to avenging badass is pleasingly believable, while Russell proves just how much like his dad he is by investing Ford with a fierce single-minded drive and an earthy physicality destined to make him a powerful action star; there’s also strong support from John Magaro (Not Fade Away, Jack Ryan) and Agents of SHIELD star Iain De Caestecker as fellow Airborne troops Tibbet and Chase and newcomer Mathilde Ollivier as Chloe, the tough, take-no-shit local girl who helps the squad, while Asbæk pretty much steals the film as Wafner, a major-league creepy, gleefully sadistic psychopath who’s just as memorably monstrous as his ruined creations.  Altogether this is a magnificent breakthrough for a promising new talent and one of the best action horrors I’ve seen in years, such a spectacular and memorable film it didn’t need the implied Cloverfield connection to get any attention.
19.  SICARIO 2: SOLDADO – screenwriter Taylor Sheridan has been a particularly strong blip on my one-to-watch radar for a few years now, impressing with modest sleeper hit Hell Or High Water and making an astonishing directorial debut with the (literal) ice-cold Wind River, but his greatest achievement remains 2015’s tour-de-force suspense thriller Sicario, the film that made his name and also turned up-and-comer director Denis Villeneuve into a genuine superstar (leading to him helming his masterpiece, Blade Runner 2049).  Straight away I wanna make it painfully clear – this is NOT as good as the first film, the lack of Emily Blunt’s spectacular character’s grounding presence and Villeneuve’s truly AWESOME flair meaning it just can’t reach its predecessor’s intoxicating heights.  But as sequels go this is an absolute belter, and there’s no denying Sicario’s dark and edgy world was one I was really itching to return to, so this is still an undeniable treat.  New director Stefano Sollima may not be the seminal master the man who kicked off the franchise is, but he’s certainly got some well-suited, heavyweight talent of his own, having cut his teeth on cult Italian crime shows like Gomorrah and Romanzo Criminale, and his own breakout thriller All Cops Are Bastards, and he definitely revives the first film’s oppressive moral darkness and relentless atmosphere of implied, inherent threat.  Blunt may be out, but her co-stars are back in the same fine form they displayed in their first outing – Josh Brolin is at his reliable best as slovenly CIA special ops master Matt Graver, his shit-eating grin present and correct even if he is still rocking his intimidating Deadpool 2 build, while Benicio Del Toro finally gets to take centre stage as his chief asset, Colombian lawyer-turned-assassin Alejandro Gillick, still itching for the chance to put the hurt on the brutal Mexican drug cartel that killed his family and destroyed his old life.  There’s still a strong female presence in the cast too – Transformers: the Last Knight’s Isabela Moner is a little spitfire of adolescent entitlement as Isabela Reyes, the kingpin’s daughter who becomes a pawn in Graver’s government-backed plan to trigger a cartel civil war and tear them apart from the inside, while the always excellent Catherine Keener is a dangerously classy ice queen as Cynthia Forbes, the high-ranking CIA controller overseeing the operation – while there’s quality support from the likes of Matthew Modine, Burn Notice’s Jeffrey Donovan (reprising his role from the first film as Graver’s lieutenant Steve Forsing) and a particularly memorable turn from Bruno Bichir as Angel, a deaf-mute Mexican farmer who’s suffered his own hardships at the hands of the cartels.  This is very much Del Toro’s film, though, the method master thoroughly inhabiting his role and once again bringing that dead-eyed lethality to bear while he paradoxically makes us care about and root for a ruthless, cold-blooded killer.  As with the first film, this is a simply MESMERISING thriller, gritty and edgy as it revels in its raw, forensic attention to detail, ruthless intelligence and densely-woven, serpent twisty plotting, and once again delivers magnificently in the action camp with a series of brutal, pulse-pounding bullet-riddled action sequences.  Enthralling, unflinching and beautiful in a desolate, windswept kind of way, this is every inch the sequel Sicario deserved, and thriller cinema at its best.  Taylor Sheridan’s written another winner.
18.  YOU WERE NEVER REALLY HERE – this unstoppable underdog sleeper hit is a twisted beast, a film that makes you so uncomfortable it’s almost unwatchable, but you can’t look away, nor would you really want to.  It’s a troubling film, but it’s INCREDIBLE.  Then again, it is pretty much what we’ve come to expect from acclaimed filmmaker Lynn Ramsay, writer/director of controversial but highly-regarded films like Ratcatcher, Morvern Callar and, of course, We Need To Talk About Kevin, and this adaptation of Jonathan Ames’ novel fits in with that lofty company like the missing piece in a jigsaw puzzle. It’s a short, (razor) sharp shock of a film, its slender 90 minute running time perfectly trimmed of excess fat, its breathless pace drawing us in while its pervading sense of impending doom keeps us uneasy.  Joaquin Phoenix delivers one of the best performances of his career as Joe, a combat veteran and former FBI agent who hires out his services rescuing kidnapped and trafficked girls, usually delivering brutal retribution on those responsible in the process; he’s also a very troubled human being, his crippling battle-trauma merely compounding much more deep-seeded damage resulting from a horribly abusive childhood, only able to find real peace caring for his housebound elderly mother (Orange Is the New Black’s Judith Anna Roberts).  So when his latest assignment from trusted handler John McCleary (The Wire and Gotham’s John Doman) – finding Nina (Wonderstruck’s Ekaterina Samsonov), the missing daughter of New York Senator Albert Votto (Alex Manette) – goes horribly wrong, Joe finds his world imploding and lashes out with all the bloodthirsty violence he can muster.  Phoenix is mesmerising, his deceptively subtle performance hinting at a human being mentally unravelling before our eyes, but he’s also like a cornered beast when roused, attacking enemies (both real and perceived) with wince-inducing viciousness; Samsonov and Roberts are both similarly impressive, while a late entrance from 90s indie darling Alessandro Nivola is a welcome, game-changing breath of fresh air.  Typically for Ramsay, this is a work of mood and atmosphere first and foremost, an air of breathy anticipation and moody introspection colouring many scenes, but she still weaves a compelling story and quickens the pulse with some blistering, blood-soaked set-pieces, rushing us along on a heady mix of righteous fury and troublingly twisted catharsis before dumping us, breathless and shell-shocked, at the unsettling yet strangely uplifting climactic denouement. This was one of the year’s most haunting films, and further proof of the undeniable talents of one of cinema’s most important filmmakers.
17.  FANTASTIC BEASTS: THE CRIMES OF GRINDELWALD – 2016 saw stratospherically successful author J.K. Rowling return to the Wizarding World she created in her Harry Potter books with a completely original film set decades before that series, introducing us to a new, albeit much earlier group of magical adventurers, chief among them Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne), a kind, oddball and brilliantly intelligent expert on mystical, supernatural creatures.  The film was, inevitably, a massive hit, guaranteeing a follow-up (or four, as we’re now being guaranteed no less than FIVE films in total in this new series), and two years later we return to the Wizarding World of the late 1920s to find things are getting a little darker and A LOT more dangerous.  Notorious dark wizard Gellert Grindelwald (Johnny Depp), captured at the end of the first film, has escaped his prison (in the film’s most spectacular, jaw-dropping set-piece) and is now hiding out in Paris, gathering his supporters and searching for the ultimate weapon which will help him in his dastardly plot to enslave the muggles – Credence Barebone (Justice League’s Ezra Miller), the powerful Obscurus who survived his apparent death in New York and is now searching for the truth about who he really is. Grindelwald isn’t the only one hunting him – aurors from the British and American Ministries of Magic are hot on his trail, among others, while Hogwarts teacher Professor Albus Dumbledore (Jude Law) has convinced his favourite former student, Newt, to try and find him before he can be killed or corrupted.  David Yates, the director of ALL Rowling adaptations since Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire, has consistently brought this rich, exotic and endlessly inventive world to potent, vital life on the big screen, and his SEVENTH tour of duty proves to be no exception – this is EXACTLY the kind of rip-roaring fantastical romp we’ve come to expect from his collaborations with Rowling, albeit taking a turn into darker, more grown-up territory for this second chapter in the new saga as the stakes are raised and the first battle-lines are drawn.  There are revelations and twists and surprises aplenty throughout, some genuine jaw-dropping, gut-punch moments among them, and it moves the story into particularly fertile ground for what’s still to come.  The returning cast are just as impressive this time around, each character arc moving forward in interesting and compelling ways – Redmayne is as likeable as ever as Newt, but invests fresh purpose and a new, steely resolve now he’s chosen a side in the conflict to come, while it’s fascinating (and more than a little heartbreaking) watching Jacob and Queenie (Dan Fogle and Alison Sudol), the star-crossed muggle/witch lovers, tackle the harsh realities of their problematic romance, and Miller is deeply affecting as a lost soul desperate for long-hidden truths and a sense of belonging – and there are some equally notable (relatively) new faces added to the roster too – Claudia Kim’s Nagini, the soulful Maledictus tragically cursed to someday become trapped in the form of Voldemort’s giant snake, is frustratingly underused but extremely memorable nonetheless, and I can only hope we’ll get a more substantial introduction to Newt’s more confident and successful war hero brother Theseus (Callum Turner) in future instalments, but Zoe Kravitz gets a killer role as the third point in the Scamander love triangle, Leta Lestrange, Newt’s oldest and closest friend but Theseus’ fiancée, and she’s FANTASTIC throughout, while Depp finally gets to really sink his teeth into the role of the most feared man in the Wizarding World until You-Know-Who showed up, investing Grindelwald with just the kind of subtle, seductive brilliance needed to make him such a compelling villain.  The best new addition, however, is Jude Law, the THIRD actor to date to play Dumbledore, and I’m sorely tempted to say he might be the best of the bunch, PERFECTLY capturing the cool ease and irreverent charm of Rowling’s character as well as (obviously) lending him a much more vital, youthful swagger that’s sure to serve him well in the subsequent films.  This has proven to be something of a marmite film, dividing opinions and being called “needlessly complicated” or “overburdened”, but I never saw that – there’s much to enjoy here, and it feels as fresh, rewarding and downright entertaining as any of its predecessors.  As far as I’m concerned this leaves the series in SPECTACULAR shape, and I can’t wait to see where we go from here.
16.  FIRST MAN – when it comes to true life tales of great courage and epic achievement, you can’t get much bigger than the first man to walk on the Moon, and it’s a subject that’s been revisited again and again over the years.  And yet, until now there’s never really been a film that’s truly brought it to true vivid life like other space-exploration stories have in the lofty likes of Apollo 13 and The Right Stuff.  It seems like Hollywood had to think outside the box to get this one to work, and it turns out that Damien Chazelle, Oscar-winning director of La La Land and Whiplash, was the offbeat talent for the job. Taking a much more gritty, documentary-style approach to the story, he presents the story of NASA’s immensely ambitious Apollo programme as a low-key procedural, seeming far more interested in the nuts-and-bolts details than the grand, sweeping adventures of legend. That’s not to say that there aren’t big moments – there are PLENTY, from a terrifyingly claustrophobic sequence revolving around a life-threatening malfunction during one of the earlier, feet-finding capsule flights to the stirring, spectacular Moon-landing itself – but many of the film’s biggest fireworks are emotional, which is just where Chazelle seems to be moist comfortable.  The film is thoroughly DOMINATED by his regular acting collaborator Ryan Gosling, whose characteristic laconic internalisation is a perfect fit for Neil Armstrong, a man trapped at the heart of immense historical events and haunted by deep personal tragedy who nonetheless maintains a steely cool and perfectly professional demeanour, but Claire Foy is just as important as Armstrong’s much put-upon wife Janet, whose emotional turmoil in the face of his potential impending death is a harrowing thing, and she delivers a mesmerizingly powerful performance that proves the perfect ferocious fire to Gosling’s understated ice; there’s also a truly stunning ensemble supporting cast on offer here, an embarrassment of riches that includes Jason Clarke, Kyle Chandler, Patrick Fugit, Shea Whigham and the mighty Ciaran Hinds.  Chazelle has directed another cracker here, emotionally rich and endlessly fascinating, visually unique and consistently surprising, with the kind of power and pathos that all but GUARANTEES great things to come during Awards season, and he’s helped enormously by a cracking script from Oscar-winning Spotlight writer Josh Singer and an offbeat but thoroughly arresting score from his regular musical collaborator Justin Hurwitz.  Challenging, uplifting and impossible to forget, this truly deserves to be ranked among the other great Space Race movies.
15.  BUMBLEBEE – I find it telling, and maybe a little damning, that it wasn’t until Michael Bay stepped back from the director’s chair and settled for the role of producer that we FINALLY got a truly GREAT Transformers movie.  There’s no denying his films have been visually striking and certainly diverting, but even at their best they were loud, dumb throwaway fun, while at their worst they pretty much SHAT on our collective nostalgic memory of their source material.  When this new “standalone” film was first announced, I was deeply sceptical, expecting more of the same, a shameless cash-in on the popularity of one the robotic cast’s most iconic members.  How glad I am to have been proven wrong for once – Bumblebee is much more than just a shot in the arm for a flagging franchise, it’s a perfect chance for them to start again, a perfectly pitched, stripped back little wonder that finally captures the true wonder and pure, primary-coloured FUN of the original toy line and Saturday morning cartoon show. It also marks the live-action debut of director Travis Knight, who cut his teeth creating stunning stop-motion animation for Laika (makers of Coraline) before bringing the studio monumental acclaim with his first helming gig on the AWESOME Kubo & the Two Strings, and he proves JUST as adept at wringing powerful, palpable emotions from flesh-and-blood (and digital) actors as he is with miniature wire-frame puppets.  Essentially a prequel/origin story, this tells the story of how lone Autobot scout Bumblebee first came to Earth, and it’s a much simpler and more archetypal film than we’re used to, a cool simplification that works wonders – he’s back in his classic VW Beetle chassis and a good deal more vulnerable now, while this might be the best we’ve seen Hailee Steinfeld, who stars as Charlie Watson, the 19-year old girl he befriends.  She’s an awkward, geeky kid, cast adrift by recent loss and trying to make things right in her life again, and her VERY unique new car certainly fills a major gap for her; Love, Simon’s Jorge Lendeborg is a lovably dorky puppy-dog as her new next-door neighbour and would-be boyfriend Memo, while Californication’s Pamela Adlon is sweet but steely as Charlie’s good-natured but somewhat exasperated mother Sally; the film is frequently stolen, however, by the mighty John Cena, who’s always had a powerful gift for comedy and is clearly having the time of his life hamming it up as he gamely pastiches his action hero persona.  There’s also a refreshing drop in the number of robots on display here – with Transformers, less is clearly more, and there’s far greater pleasure to be had in watching Bumblebee on his own trying to hold his own against the film’s two main savage villains, Decepticon headhunters Shatter (voiced with creepy confidence by Angela Bassett) and Dropkick (a brilliantly sociopathic turn from Justin Theroux), both of whom are MUCH more well-drawn than the series’ average bad guys.  This is a FANTASTIC film, the Transformers movie we’ve always deserved – the 80s period setting is EXQUISITELY captured (from the killer soundtrack to Charlie’s whole punk rock vibe, clearly styled after Joan Jett), the general tone is played very much for laughs but the humour no longer feels forced or childish, much more sophisticated here than in the average Bay-fest, and there are some spectacular action sequences that are this time VERY MUCH in service to the story.  The film was written by relative newcomer Christina Hodgson, mostly just known for Unforgettable while three of her screenplays languish on the Black List of Hollywood’s best unproduced scripts, and on the strength of this I CAN’T WAIT to see more from her – she’s already penned the coming Birds of Prey movie for DC, which I’m absolutely champing at the bit to see, and has now been signed up to write the Batgirl movie too, so we shouldn’t have long to wait.  This has already been favourably compared to The Iron Giant, one of my favourite animated features EVER, and I can wholeheartedly agree with that opinion – this is EXACTLY what we’ve been waiting for in a Transformers movie, and if it’s a sign of things to come then I wholeheartedly approve.  More of this, please!
14.  READY PLAYER ONE – Steven Spielberg is one of my very favourite directors, a peerless master of cinema whose iconic blockbusters have fuelled my imagination and captured my heart since early childhood.  Of course, he’s also a hugely talented auteur whose more serious work is rightly regarded as some of the most important moving picture art of all time (Schindler’s List is, of course, a given, but I for one am also MASSIVELY enamoured of the undeniable power and uncompromising maturity of Munich), but I’ve always found him at his best when he makes films to entertain the popcorn-munching masses. His most welcome return to true escapist cinema comes in the form of a magnificent adaptation of the one of the most singularly geeky novels of the 21st Century, Ernest Cline’s meticulous love letter to 80s pop culture and nerd nostalgia, a book which was itself HEAVILY influenced by Spielberg’s own most enduring works.  There’s something deeply meta in him tackling the material, then, but the Beard keeps his own potentially self-serving references to the bare minimum, instead letting the book’s other major influences come to the fore as well as allowing Cline himself (adapting his own book alongside Marvel heavyweight Zak Penn (X2 and The Avengers to name but a few) to introduce some new elements of his own.  There’s some definite streamlining, but it’s always in service to the story and helps things to work as well as they can cinematically, and besides, NO ONE does this kind of thing better than the Beard … anyway, to the uninitiated, RPO takes place in and around the OASIS, the gargantuan VR universe that the overpopulated, rundown world of the future has become ubiquitously addicted to, now considered the Earth’s greatest resource, and the setting for an epic hunt for an “Easter Egg” left by its deceased wunderkind creator, James Halliday (another brilliant, immersive turn from Spielberg’s current favourite acting collaborator, Mark Rylance), which will bestow its discoverer with unimaginable riches and ownership of the OASIS itself.  The main thrust of the story is the battle of wills between geeky slum kid “Gunter” (essentially a pop culture-obsessed treasure hunting expert on all things Halliday) Wade Watts, aka Parzival (X-Men’s Tye Sheridan) and Nolan Sorrento (Ben Mendelsohn), the reptilian CEO of IOI (Innovative Online Industries), the evil multinational that wants to seize control of the OASIS, no matter the cost – it’s a high stakes game indeed, as Wade finds his actions in the wild, imagination-is-the-only-limit online world can have very serious consequences on his own life in reality.  It’s suitably exciting and action packed then, but there’s a real sense of fun and irreverent joy to proceedings that’s been somewhat lacking from many of Spielberg’s films of late, especially in the insane inventiveness of the OASIS itself, a universe where you can be and do absolutely ANYTHING, and where Halliday’s nostalgic pop culture loves have been embraced by society at large in  MAJOR WAY … hence the GIGANTIC potential for spot-the-reference in virtually every scene – seriously, this is one of those movies that REALLY rewards repeat viewing.  Sheridan is a very likeable hero, a plucky and resourceful young dreamer you can’t help rooting for, while Mendelsohn gave us one of the year’s best screen villains, the kind of oily scumbag you just love to hate; Bates Motel’s Olivia Cooke is just the spunky little badass you imagined fellow Gunter Art3mis to be, but with bonus realism and vulnerability, Master of None actress/writer Lena Waithe is pleasingly awkward in spite of her intimidating avatar as Wade’s best friend Aech, T.J. Miller frequently steals the film as intimidating but seriously nerdy bounty hunter I-ROK, and Philip Zhao and Win Morisaki make for a lovably goofy double act as samurai/ninja obsessives Shoto and Daisho, while Simon Pegg is his usual warm and fuzzy self as OASIS co-creator Ogden Morrow.  This is a gloriously OTT visual extravaganza brimming with fandom appeal and MASSIVE nostalgia value, a thrilling escapist adventure packed with precision-crafted and endlessly inventive action, and a consistently laugh-out-loud comic classic stuffed with knowing one-liners and genius sight gags … and of course, this being Spielberg, TONS of emotional heft and genuine, saccharine-free pathos.  I could gripe about the fact that without John Williams on the score it doesn’t feel QUITE right, but that would be a lie – the choice to instead go with Alan Silvestri is actually a genius fit for the film, the composer unleashing his very best work since the Back to the Future trilogy.  This is EXACTLY what we’ve come to expect from the original MASTER of the popcorn-crowd blockbuster, and it’s a genuine pleasure to have him back doing what he does best.
13.  INCREDIBLES 2 – writer-director Brad Bird (The Iron Giant, Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol, Tomorrowland) is the man responsible for what I consider to be Disney-affiliated animation studio Pixar’s finest hour – forget Toy Story, Finding Nemo or Inside Out (although I admit they’re also f£$%ing awesome), 2004’s The Incredibles is where I place my allegiances.  Of course, it helps that Bird and co essentially created an unofficial Fantastic Four movie four years before the MCU even got started, back when the X-Men movies were in their prime the first time round – I’m an unashamed comic book geek and I LOVE superhero movies, so this was cinematic catnip for me. Needless to say, like many other instant fans I CRIED OUT for more, and got increasingly restless as Pixar cranked out sequel after sequel for their other big hitters but remained frustratingly silent on the matter of their own super-family.  Finally (and, interestingly, just as the MCU celebrated its own tenth anniversary) they delivered, and MY GOD what a gem it is. Brad Bird has achieved the impossible, matching the first film for wow-factor and geek-gasm, picking up RIGHT where the first film left off (seriously, we finally get to see the chaos that ensued after John Ratzenberger’s Underminer emerged in The Incredibles’ closing moments) with an instantly familiar yet refreshingly different tale of newly-united super-family the Parrs as they make their faltering first steps as a bona fide superhero TEAM.  I don’t want to give much more away – this is a film best watched good and cold – suffice to say that father Bob/Mr Incredible (Poltergeist’s perfect screen dad, Craig T. Nelson) and mother Helen/Elastigirl (the always wonderful Holly Hunter) face new challenges as they attempt to balance their revitalised crime-fighting careers with keeping their family from imploding under the weight of much more down-to-earth problems, from daughter Violet (Sarah Vowell) suffering teenage heartbreak to son Dash (Huckleberry Milner, taking over for previous vocal talent Spencer Fox) struggling with “New Math” … as well as, in one of the film’s strongest storylines, infant Jack-Jack’s newly-emerged superpowers, which lead to some BRILLIANT moments of truly inspired humour and occasional full-on WEIRDNESS.  Needless to say the external fireworks are just as impressive as the domestics – there’s a cool new villain in the form of tech-savvy puppet-master the Screenslaver (Bill Wise), who puts Helen through her paces as she stumbles onto a truly diabolical criminal conspiracy – the set-pieces are as strong as the first film’s, a spectacularly ballistic chase after a runaway train particularly impressing, while Bird and co have come up with rewardingly fresh moments to up the power ante from the series opener and show off the established characters’ talents in new ways, as well as introducing some great new supers to the mix (pick of the crop is Sophia Bush’s lovably awkward wormhole-juggler Void). The returnees are all as strong as they were first time round (including Samuel L. Jackson’s super-cool iceman Frozone), while there are memorable new faces to enjoy too, particularly the Incredibles’ born-fanboy tycoon sponsor Winston Deavor (Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul’s Bob Odenkirk) and his cynical scientist sister Evelyn (Catherine Keener), but once again the film is thoroughly stolen by Bird himself, even more hilarious in his short but ever-so-sweet role as thoroughly unique fashion mogul Edna Mode.  Fun, thrilling and packed with DEEP belly-laughs, this is JUST as strong as the first film, a pitch-perfect continuation that pays off its predecessor beautifully while boldly carving new ground for what looks set to be a bright future indeed … let’s just hope we don’t have to wait another FOURTEEN YEARS this time round, okay?
12.  ANT-MAN & THE WASP – 2018 was indeed the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s TENTH ANNIVERSARY, and their summer season offering OFFICIALLY made it three for three in the year’s hit parade, following runaway smash Black Panther and Avengers: Infinity War, the culmination of the ten year big screen phenomenon that began with Iron Man way back in 2008.  In the heady aftermath of the series’ all-conquering behemoth, the second screen outing of the Avenger’s “smallest” member may seem like something of an afterthought, but trust me, this is anything but.  The last time we saw Scott Lang (Paul Rudd), he was languishing in a hi-tech prison after coming to Captain America’s aid in 2016’s Civil War, and his absence from the Infinity War roster was not only noticeable but truly frustrating, but now, at last, we find out WHY he was a no-show.  Scott took a deal to protect his family, and is now finishing up a two year stint under house arrest, clearly going a little stir-crazy as a result, but he’s been able to stay in touch with his beloved daughter Cassie (Abbie Ryder Fortson, still adorable but growing up REALLY FAST) and form a new security firm with his best friend Luis (Michael Peña), cleverly named “X-Con Security”.  He’s also been long out of contact with his mentor and original Ant-Man Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) and his maybe girlfriend Hope Van Dyne (Evangeline Lilly), Hank’s daughter, after essentially stealing the Ant-Man suit to go break the law in Germany, thus turning his one-time allies into wanted fugitives, but they re-enter his life at the worst possible time when it becomes clear that Scott holds the key to returning Hank’s wife Janet (a small but potent role for Michelle Pfeiffer) from the seemingly impenetrable reaches of the Quantum Realm.  With us so far?  Yeah, the plot’s a bit of a head-spinner – and it gets even MORE complicated once a brand new threat emerges in the form of the Ghost (Killjoys’ Hannah John-Kamen), a lethal assassin who can phase through various physical states (frequently turning her into a LITERAL phantom), who’s determined to get her hands on Hank’s new quantum tunnelling tech – but as with the first film (and its closest MCU kin, the Guardians of the Galaxy), this is really just the backdrop for another laugh-out-loud comedy caper.  Returning director Peyton Reed now officially makes Ant-Man his own (finally getting out from under the big shadow cast by the first film’s almost-helmer Edgar Wright), cranking the laugh-meter up even higher while also increasing the emotional weight and underlying dramatic heft of the central plot, as the dysfunctional surrogate family of Team Pym struggle to get back together after circumstances tore them apart – there are moments of genuine, heartstring-tugging power strung throughout, although they really just serve to temper the steady string of snappy one-liners, inspired sight-gags and, of course, Peña’s constant, riotous scene-stealing.  He really does come dangerously close to running away with the entire film, but the rest of the cast are too strong to really let that happen – Rudd is really getting into the whole action-man thing now, but he remains consistently, pitch-perfectly HILARIOUS, while Lilly finally gets to properly jump into the action herself now that Hope has officially succeeded her mother as the second generation of the Wasp, Ant-Man’s hard-hitting, high-flying and seriously badass partner, and Michael Douglas gets a much bigger, far more active role this time round.  This film’s weak-link may be its villain, with the Ghost ultimately proving a little one-note and ineffectual as a threat, but there’s no denying John-Kamen is a spectacular actress with a bright future, and her character certainly is distinctive, with a tragic back-story and personal drive that makes her rewardingly sympathetic; besides, there’s additional antagonism from slimy black market dealer Sonny Burch (the ever-reliable Walton Goggins), who’s also out to steal Hank’s tech, and The Interview’s Randall Park as Jimmy Woo, the brilliantly nerdy FBI agent keeping a close eye on Scott, while Laurence Fishburne is complex and ambiguous as Hank’s bitter one-time project partner Bill Foster.  Reed once again delivers big-time on the action front too, wrangling some cracking fights and chases to get pulses racing amidst all the laughs, as well as finding plenty of inspired new ways to shake things up with Scott and Hope’s abilities to shrink (and now grow to truly MASSIVE scale) at will, and everything builds to a pleasingly powerful but also very fun ending that makes this a perfect family-night-out movie.  And, of course, there’s also two cut-scenes interspersing the end credits – the second is amusing but ultimately throwaway, but the first is CRUCIALLY important to the post-Infinity War playing field of the series as a whole.  Ultimately this was the LEAST impressive of the year’s MCU offerings, but that’s not a detraction – it’s just that, while this is really awesome, its predecessors are just EVEN MORE so.  Another absolute winner from Marvel, then.
11.  HOLD THE DARK – Neflix Originals’ best feature film of 2018 was this revenge thriller from Jeremy Saulnier, acclaimed director of Blue Ruin and Green Room, which marks his fourth collaboration with lifelong friend and regular acting collaborator Macon Blair (here also serving as screenwriter), adapted from the novel by William Giraldi.  It’s a dark, bleak and introspective affair, an approach which goes well with its absolutely stunning but bitterly inhospitable Alaskan wilderness setting, an environment which, through Saulnier’s eye and the stylish lens of cinematographer Magnus Nordenhof Jønck, is as brutal and bloodthirsty as it is beautiful.  Jeffrey Wright is typically understated but majestic as Russell Core, a writer who studies the behaviour of wolves, who is drawn to the remote Alaskan town of Keelut by grieving mother Medora Sloane (Mad max: Fury Road’s Riley Keough), who wants him to hunt the wolf she claims is responsible for killing her six year old son so she has something to show to her husband, Vernon (Alexander Skarsgård), when he returns from the war in Iraq. Soon enough, however, it becomes clear to Core that something else is going on in Keelut, and the deeper he digs for the truth the more horrific the revelations become, leading to deadly confrontations and a whole lot of blood.  Saulnier is a master at creating a relentless atmosphere of skin-crawling dread and unbearable tension, taking his time building the suspense to breaking point before finally unleashing all that pent up pressure in one hell of a centrepiece set-piece, a blistering, drawn-out shootout in the snow that’ll leave fingernails bitten down to the quick, but he also frequently exercises a flair for subtle, contemplative introspection, just as happy to let quieter moments breathe to create scenes of breathless, aching beauty or eerie, haunting discomfort.  Wright is a strong, grounding influence throughout the film, further anchored by the simple, honest decency of James Badge Dale’s put-upon small-town sheriff Donald Marium, but most everyone else is damaged or downright twisted in one form or another – Keough is truly batshit crazy, floating through the film like a silent wraith with big empty eyes, while Skarsgård is a stone-cold killing machine as he embarks on a relentless, blood-soaked quest for vengeance, and relative unknown Julian Black Antelope sears himself into your memory as vengeful grief drives him to explosive self destruction.  This is a desolate and devastating film, but there are immense rewards to be found in its depths, and there’s a sense of subtle, fragile hope in to be found in the closing moments – this film is guaranteed to stay with you long after the credits have rolled, another gold-standard thriller from two truly masterful talents.
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