#Dacre has always used the tears to show that the real billy was still there somewhere

[toobusybeingdelulu]

OH HE WAS CRYING EVEN BEFORE saying “and sometimes you have wished to follow me” TO MAX. This was right when he was walking towards her after she had finished reading the letter… Meaning that maybe he heard her?? But couldn’t do anything about it because Henry wouldn’t let him?? Oh we are gonna suffer so much in s5 aren’t we

[miss-wanderlustwriter]

The Sky (Part 4)

Billy Hargrove (Stranger Things) x Reader

~2800 words  

Let me know what you think, this is my first Billy fanfic!

Feedback, suggestions & requests all welcome ♥

Summary: Aftermath. 

Warning: Emotional. Language.

This is the penultimate part guys! The last part will be up on Friday! Catch up on the others here:

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 5

(Of course I don’t condone the actions of Billy at all in the show, but I’m intrigued by the character and let’s face it Dacre Montgomery is hot as hell, and such an amazing actor!)

It was almost 24 hours later, and I was sat in my own living room in my PJs complete with fluffy socks and a blanket wrapped around me. The pain in my chest was still raw and sharp. Thankfully the rest of the room was filled with people I cared about. Nancy sat next to me on the sofa, us leaning against each other, and Jonathan was on her other side holding her hand in both of his. A beat up Steve was across the room in the armchair with Dustin perched on the arm of the chair. The rest of them were scattered on the floor with pillows, cushions and more blankets: El had her head resting on Mike's shoulder and he had his arm around her, not wanting to let her go now he finally had her back, Lucas and Max sat shoulder to shoulder and Will was at Jonathan's feet.

Since the parents would be away until Monday, I offered my house up as a sanctuary which everyone seem to greatly appreciate. After everything that we all went through last night we needed to be with each other, for support, for safety, for reassurance.

The tv was on, just for background noise really, we'd already been through the events of last night in detail which was hard enough. I was just enjoying the company now, the presence people that felt so much like family now.

When Steve had finally came around last night he led Mike, Lucas, Dustin and Max into the tunnels and their plan had worked. El was able to close the gate with Hopper protecting her, and less hassle from the Demodogs, it had totally drained her though and I can still see her recovering now as she napped against Mike. Will was just as exhausted, I could see his head drooping onto Jonathan's leg. Everyone had been through so much.

I got up to clear the many pizza boxes that littered the room so we could start settling down and get some well needed sleep, Nancy rose to help me out. Once we had taken everything through to the kitchen my mind started to wander back to Billy as I was tidying and cleaning. I tried to hold back the tears forming and swallow the lump in my throat, like I had been doing all day, when I felt Nancy's hand on mine.

"Hey, Y/N, just leave this, come here." As she held my hand she led me to the breakfast bar seats. We sat across from each other and I couldn’t avoid her gaze. "Y/N," she started gently, "You know you can tell me anything, and something is definitely wrong. What happened after Steve and the kids left?"

Although the rest of the evening was re-lived in detailed I couldn't bring myself to admit the argument between myself and Billy, as that would be admitting how close we had been and how much I cared for him, when I knew how everyone felt about him, even before he showed up last night. So I just said that he woke up, was still groggy and I drove him home and told him to make good on the promise he made Max and leave us all alone.

But I couldn't keep this from her anymore, I shut my eyes, took a deep breath and told her everything. From the moment Billy spoke to me at the party to the second he walked out on me last night. I told her how he had been with me, his total change in attitude, the side I saw of him that he wasn't like with anyone else and that even Max had started noticing a change in him.

"I know there's something else going on with him Nancy, something bad. But I know that doesn't excuse him from last night." I sighed looking down.

"Y/N? Are you..." Nancy started.

I raised my head frowning, "Am I what Nancy?"

She lowered her voice to make sure no one left awake in the living room could hear, "Are you in love with him?"

"Would you think differently of me if I was?"

She smiled softly at me, "After what you've just told me, no, no I wouldn't."

"Then yes, I think I am." It felt so weird to admit it out loud, but I knew it, as soon as he left me last night. When despite of everything he had just done, all I wanted was for him to come back to me.

"But it doesn't matter, after what he did to Lucas and Steve, I can't risk that anger rising again around the people I care about the most. And after what he said to me last night he'll never see me the same way."

"Do you hear yourself, you just told me that Billy Hargrove actually has feelings. He can care and laugh and be a genuine sweetheart, and he hasn’t done that with anyone but you!" She argued, I couldn't believe she was actually sticking up for Billy right now.

She stared at me, trying to make me understand.

"I can't Nancy. You didn't see him last night, it was scary, it was like no one could reach him. I mean just look at Steve. I don't want that around you guys." I nodded towards the living room.

"You said yourself he's been better since you. Maybe you are the answer to help him through whatever it is that's hurting him so much. Just, just let it all settle, give it time and think about it." She was almost pleading. She could always see the good in everyone, despite being such a badass.

I forced a smile, "Okay Nancy, okay." I got up and went to her, embracing her in my arms, "I'm so glad this is over, I have missed you all so much."

We went back through to the living room where everyone seemed to be sleeping and Nancy curled up next to Jonathan. I covered myself in the blanket but sleep was off the cards for me right now, my mind was racing. I saw Max open her eyes and shuffle over to sit on the floor in front of me. I looked at her questioningly, "You haven't been asleep have you?" I whispered.

A guilty look flashed across her face "No. I heard you and Nancy. I'm sorry."

"It's okay Max." I offered her a smiled and took her hand. "Listen to me, I meant what I said last night, we're friends, I love you like I love everyone in this room and I won't let anyone hurt you, especially not Billy."

"I know. I love you too Y/N. But, Billy, I know he won't hurt me, and I know how he feels about you. I've seen him everyday since we moved here and he's different with you. I'm scared that without you now he'll go back to how he was. I agree with what Nancy said and I know if anyone can forgive him for last night it's you." I was speechless as she smiled and added, "I'm still rooting for you."

"Thanks kid. We'll see, it's still all very new and very raw."

She nodded in understanding.

"Try and get some sleep okay?" I squeezed her hand as she nodded then made her way back to the make shift bed next to Lucas.

As I was finally drifting off there was a soft knock at the door, so quiet that I'm not sure it was actually real. I sat up looking around at everyone else still flat out. And it happened again, a bit louder this time and it made Steve stir slightly.

I looked at the clock, only 9pm, how was it still so early, it felt about 2am.

My heart rate raised slightly, expecting it to be Joyce or Hopper with bad news. But when I opened my front door my heart stopped.

"Billy." I exhaled.

He was standing there a few feet back from the door giving me some space. He looked like a lost puppy. He was cleaned up although a bruise was forming on his cheekbone from where Steve had landed a punch and his knuckles were all red and grazed.

I can't even tell how long we stood there just looking at each other, no one wanting to break the perfect silence.

I stepped forward, pulling the door closed behind me and stood on the front step with my arms folded around myself in the chilly air. "Billy, what are you doing here? You can't be here. Everyone is inside."

"I know, I know I shouldn't be here. I just... I was walking around, trying to clear my fucked-up head, and ended up here. Y/N," He paused, running his hand through his hair before settling his gaze upon me, those eyes cutting through me like they always do, softening my resolve, "I need to talk to you, properly. It's been like 24 hours and I already can't stand not seeing you and speaking to you. I need you. And I know I have no right to ask that of you, but I'm sorry for what I said to you last night. I didn't mean it. Not any of it. I..." He swallowed, head falling back to look up to the sky like he was decided on whether to carry on, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

My breath caught in my throat seeing him so soon and hearing those words, but it confirmed everything. I was in love with him, with everything I had I loved him and I wanted to run to him, hold him and never let him go. But right now that was impossible.

"I can't do this right now Billy. Everyone's emotions are still sky high, mine and yours included. I appreciate what you're saying but forgiveness takes time. I will forgive you for our argument, but everything else," I shook my head staring at the ground, "I don't know. Those people in there right now, sleeping in my living room mean the most to me, Max included, and no matter what my feelings are for you I can't have them in pain again."

He took a step towards me, pausing to see if I would allow him, he held my gaze as he took another step and another until he was inches away from me.

"I understand Y/N. I do." He gently interlaced his fingers with mine and I took a sharp breath at the shock of his touch. "But I promise you I will make this right."

Silent tears were streaming down my face as our foreheads met and he lifted his other hand to hold my face and wipe away my tears with his thumb. We stood there holding each other up for a while, neither of us wanting to break away. But we did, we had to. And I saw his eyes shining with tears in the dark. "I promise you Princess."

And he turned away into the night away from me once again, leaving an emptiness I didn't know was possible.

With him gone I felt the cold seep straight into my bones, so I went back into my house with blurry vision as I sobbed, hand over my mouth to try and not make any noise, and I leaned against the closed door and slid to the floor head in my hands.

I jumped slightly when someone sat next to me and put their arms arounds me, I looked up and saw Nancy looking on the verge of tears herself. I wiped my eyes and saw everyone else awake and looking at us from the living room.

Nancy whispered "We heard you shut the front door when you went out, everyone saw, I'm sorry Y/N. I managed to get them away though." Meaning she got them to stop staring when we had our moment, our indefinite goodbye. "I just told them that there's more to this than meets the eye with everything, with Billy. They're still angry at him, Steve especially, he nearly stormed out to you, but I think they understand."

"Thanks." Was all I could manage.

Max made her way round to my other side and leant her head against my shoulder, the two people who know exactly what I was going through and why, while everyone else just looked totally confused about the scene they had just witnessed between me and Billy. But even Steve knew this was not the time to get riled up and question the fact that I had just let Billy near me.

Nancy and Max took me to my bedroom while I could hear everyone else whispering, wondering how the hell I was so close to Billy, what was I thinking. Max noticed and left me with Nancy, I knew she was going to defend me, and possibly even Billy, which I was grateful for as I had no strength left to do that myself right now.

I surprisingly fell straight asleep once in my own bed, so exhausted with my emotions I didn't even dream.

Over the next few weeks at school I finally returned to normality, I had Steve, Nancy and Jonathan with me at lunch again. I still saw the kids after school and at the weekends sometimes, I normally went wherever Steve was babysitting to help out; six young teenagers was quite a handful for one person. It helped push the pain away so that it became more of a dull ache, which was still incredibly hard but a bit more manageable.

I saw a more subdued Billy around school, still snapping at people like Tommy and Carol, exerting his dominance in the halls and in gym, but he respected my space and made sure to stay away from Steve when he could. I always felt his eyes on me though, and I couldn't stop myself from always searching for him; no matter how much it opened the wound.

Steve brought up the situation one day at his place when the kids were all intensely involved with a Dungeons and Dragons campaign while also trying to teach El and Max how to play. We were sitting in the kitchen hearing the odd shout from the guys, it was quite entertaining to be honest. We were mindlessly chatting about school and the Snowball that was next weekend, the kids were very excited.

"So, what's the deal with you and Billy? I won't get mad Y/N, I just want to understand."

I sighed, bracing myself, "Well when you guys were running round those bloody tunnels, we were friends. We would study in the library, sit together at lunch and he'd drive me home with Max." Steve was looking at me with raised eyebrows. "I know it sounds crazy from your perspective, but it's true, he was genuinely nice to me. We really got along, had a laugh and he seemed to not have time to beat up random people just because he didn't like the way they looked at him."

He let out a long breath before replying "He has been a class A arsehole-"

"I know Steve. That's why we're not friends anymore. You, Nancy, Jonathan and those amazing guys through there are more important to me."

"If you let me finish," he pushed, "I was going to say, yes he's been a class A arsehole, but he apologised to me yesterday. After basketball practise. Said he's got some shit going on he needs to sort out and that he was sorry he took it out on me because he got jealous of me being there with you. And he has been easier on me in practise since then, with less of his dipshit comments as well. I don't know Y/N but I think you actually do have a good effect on him."

I sat there in shock. "He apologised?"

"Yeah, crazy right." He raised his eyebrows at me again, "I think he really does care for you. So I told him how we're like brother and sister, with us growing up together, and I think we might have made a truce."

"That's great Steve. Really. You didn't need to explain anything to him though, and he still has a long way to go."

Before Steve could answer a voice piped up behind him "He apologised to Lucas." Max stood in the doorway to the kitchen. "When he dropped me off at the arcade the other day, he came in with me and spoke to Lucas and us all. Said he was sorry for hurting Lucas and scaring us, and that he knows that's just the start but he wants to be better."

Steve turned back to me, giving me a knowing look "Well then."

"Oh shut up." I shot back, finding it hard to control my smile for the first time in weeks.