#Data Recovery Services in San Diego

[heathcaredirectmail]

How Does Direct Mail Automation Work in the Real World?

In today’s real-time, data-driven marketing world, automation has transformed how physical mail is used. Direct mail automation allows companies to send printed messages with the same ease and intelligence as sending an email.

But what does that actually look like in practice?

Let’s explore how direct mail automation works in real-world scenarios — across industries, platforms, and customer journeys — to drive measurable business outcomes.

What Is Direct Mail Automation? (Recap)

It’s the process of automating the sending of physical mail — triggered by customer behavior, CRM data, or marketing rules — without manual intervention. Think of it as email automation but in the tangible, high-attention format of physical mail.

Core Components of Direct Mail Automation in Action

1. Data Integration

Real-world campaigns begin by connecting data sources such as:

CRM (e.g., Salesforce, HubSpot)

eCommerce platforms (e.g., Shopify, WooCommerce)

Email or marketing tools (e.g., Klaviyo, Mailchimp)

Data triggers the mail — such as a purchase, sign-up, or inactivity.

2. Print Templates and Personalization Engines

Templates are loaded into the automation platform, featuring:

Dynamic fields for names, dates, and offers

Conditional content for segmentation

QR codes or URLs for tracking

Example: A customer in New York gets a postcard with a local store coupon, while someone in San Diego receives an online-only discount.

3. Trigger Setup and Workflow Automation

Triggers might include:

Cart abandonment = Send a reminder postcard in 24 hours

No login in 60 days = Send a win-back letter

Order over $150 = Send a thank-you card with a discount code

These triggers are configured using workflow builders or API-based automation tools.

4. Real-Time Printing and Fulfillment

Once a trigger is activated:

The direct mail automation platform selects the appropriate print facility.

A print-ready file is generated with personalization.

The mailpiece is printed, packed, and delivered — often within 24–48 hours.

No bulk inventory. No manual printing. Just-in-time, personalized communication.

5. Delivery Tracking and Analytics

You can track every piece of mail like a package:

Delivery confirmation

Bounce or return data

QR code scans

Offer redemptions

Advanced tools even provide heat maps of response by region and customer cohort analysis.

Real-World Use Cases of Direct Mail Automation

1. eCommerce: Cart Abandonment Campaigns

Use Case: A Shopify store uses PostPilot to trigger a postcard 24 hours after a cart is abandoned.

Outcome: A QR code leads back to the product page. Campaigns show a 12–18% recovery rate compared to ~2% for email.

2. SaaS and Subscriptions: Win-Back Mailers

Use Case: A subscription box brand triggers a personalized mail piece 30 days after customer churn.

Outcome: The tactile mail stands out, and a 10% reactivation rate is achieved within 7 days.

3. Healthcare: Appointment Reminders

Use Case: Dental clinics integrate their booking systems with Lob to automatically send reminder postcards 7 days before an appointment.

Outcome: Missed appointments drop by 20%. HIPAA-compliant systems ensure privacy.

4. Financial Services: Onboarding Kits

Use Case: A bank triggers welcome kits with branded cards, disclosures, and how-to guides automatically upon account opening.

Outcome: Customer satisfaction and retention rates increase due to better onboarding.

5. Real Estate: Geo-Targeted Listings

Use Case: A real estate firm sends direct mail with recently sold homes to leads within 5 miles.

Outcome: Response rate improves by 300% over traditional blanket mailers.

Technology Behind the Scenes

APIs: Real-time data exchange (e.g., Zapier, Make, custom API calls)

Cloud Printing: Network of geographically distributed printers

AI & ML: Optimize timing, segmentation, and design variants

Address Verification Tools: Clean and validate addresses before sending

Benefits of Direct Mail Automation in the Real World

Speed: Mail can be delivered within 2–3 days of trigger

Relevance: Content tailored to behavior or location

Scalability: Send 10 or 100,000 with no extra complexity

Omnichannel Synergy: Combine with email, SMS, and retargeting

Higher Engagement: Tangible touchpoints build trust and attention

Measuring ROI in Real-Time Campaigns

Metrics to track:

Response rate (QR scans, code redemptions)

Conversion rate

Cost per acquisition (CPA)

Lifetime value (LTV) uplift

Campaign speed (trigger to mailbox)

Tip: Always A/B test message variations, designs, and formats for continuous optimization.

Challenges in Real-World Implementation (And How to Overcome Them)

ChallengeSolutionAddress data errorsUse address validation APIsDelivery delaysPartner with trusted printers and fulfillment centersLack of personalizationUse CRM-integrated automationHigh cost of printOptimize by segmenting only high-intent usersTracking complexityUse dynamic QR codes and UTM tracking

Conclusion: Turning Automation into Tangible Impact

Real-world direct mail automation turns complex marketing ideas into real business results. Whether you’re nurturing leads, re-engaging past customers, or building trust — the blend of automation and physical mail delivers.

SITES WE SUPPORT

Healthcare Direct Mail – ​​​Wix

[restsol001]

Water Fiendishness Recovery in San Diego: What You Need to Know!

Water damage may be the most famous and costly issue contract holders and monetary experts face in San Diego. Water damage can induce key issues and shape improvement and board issues, whether achieved by a burst pipe, grave storm, or spilling machines. That is where master water hurt recovery affiliations come in. These experts are ready to manage water hurt fixes in San Diego and restore your property to its extraordinary condition.

Sorting out of Water Damage Restoration in San Diego

When water hurt strikes, quick improvement is essential to restricting its resources. The more drawn-out water in a home or business, the more detectable the bet of overcoming wickedness. Water damage restoration San Diego can oversee water departure, drying, and fixes and they mostly follow an arranged cycle to ensure the best results. Water damage can occur in various plans, from minor breaks to stunning flooding. San Diego is known for its delicate environment, experiences occasional cyclones that can affect flooding, especially in regions with awful waste. Over time, mileage can undermine roofs, causing water waste, particularly during stormy seasons. Plumbing issues, such as burst pipes or spilling machines, are typical causes of water damage in homes and organizations. Defective dishwashers, pieces of clothing, washers, water radiators, and coolers can spill water and hurt the uniting regions. Groundwater spillage, caused by heavy precipitation or rising tides, can flood tornado shelters, inadequate line spaces, and lower-level rooms.

The Meaning of Water Damage Repair in San Diego

The focal stage in water damage assesses the damage. The experts of water damage repair San Diego use moisturizing agents, infrared cameras, and various devices to recognize hidden pockets of water that cause additional harm. After surveying the situation, water extraction begins. Water extraction gear, such as siphons and vacuums, is used to clear standing water. Disposing of unnecessarily drenched water frustrates the advancement of shape and improvement. Specialists send modern-day dehumidifiers and air movers to dry the region when the undeniable water is cleared. Water harm can happen to any property, and when it does, quick activity is essential. From weighty downpours to plumbing disappointments, San Diego's homes and organizations are helpless against water-related issues. An expert group of water damage repair will not only concentrate water and dry the region but also guarantee there's no hidden harm or shape development that could influence your well-being and security. Drying should occur regularly and unreasonably, as resources can impact central questions and establish an environment for the shape to thrive.

The Advantages of Water Damage Restoration Service in San Diego CA

A shape could have been formed in conditions where water damage has been ongoing for a long time. Water damage restoration service San Diego CA consolidates shape openness and remediation to kill shape states and baffle future discharges. San Diego water hurt recovery experts have the status and data to oversee even the most troublesome conditions. They grasp how to fittingly conclude stowed away water pockets, shape movement, and electrical dangers. Recovery specialists can work quickly and effectively, saving time and diminishing the potential for extra mischievousness. The sooner you call for help, the better you can avoid the long haul. Specialists of Restoration Solutions utilize top-switch gear, including energy-grade dryers, water extraction machines, and moisture-uncovering devices. These devices assist with laying out your property more effectively than standard household equipment.

Conclusion

Water harm recovery in San Diego ensures your home or business stays safeguarded and looks great after a water-related calamity. Whether you're overseeing storm harm, line disillusionment, or flood repercussions, water harm fix affiliations can help you reestablish your property. Fast activity is fundamental to forestall further damage, so contact us if you experience harm. While getting a handle on what to cause after water is hurt is indispensable, refutation is essential to avoiding over-the-top fixes.

[watchworldlive]

Marine Corps Mourns the Loss of a Hero: Major Andrew Mettler

The Marine Corps is in mourning following the tragic loss of Major Andrew Mettler, a distinguished pilot who died in a F/A-18 Hornet Fighter jet crash Miramar near Marine Corps Air Station (MCAS) Miramar on August 24, 2023. This heartbreaking incident occurred during a routine training exercise and has left the military community reeling while investigations seek to uncover the cause of the crash.

Honoring Major Andrew Mettler's Legacy

Major Andrew Mettler, a member of the Marine All-Weather Fighter Attack Squadron 224, was highly respected for his bravery, leadership, and commitment to his squadron and the Corps. His service record was marked by numerous accolades, reflecting his unwavering dedication and exceptional skill as a Marine aviator.

Major Mettler's passing is a profound loss not only for his family but also for his comrades, who remember him as a bold pilot and an inspiring leader. The outpouring of condolences from military officials underscores the deep respect and admiration he garnered throughout his career.

Timeline of the Miramar Incident

The F/A-18 Hornet fighter jet crash unfolded during late-night training maneuvers on August 24, 2023. Below is a breakdown of the key events:

August 24, 2023, 11:54 PM: The fighter jet, piloted solely by Major Mettler, crashed east of MCAS Miramar on government-owned land.

Early Hours of August 25: Search and rescue teams initiated operations, working tirelessly through rugged terrain under challenging conditions.

August 25, Morning: Major Mettler's body was recovered at the crash site, confirming the tragic outcome.

The area surrounding the crash was remote, minimizing the risk of additional casualties or property damage.

Challenges of Search and Rescue Operations

Rescue efforts following the crash showcased the coordinated response of multiple agencies, including:

San Diego Fire Department: Provided ground crews and helicopters for search operations.

San Diego Police Department & Coast Guard: Offered critical support in the effort to locate the downed pilot.

The crash site, located in a remote and rugged area east of Interstate 15, posed significant challenges. The combination of darkness, uneven terrain, and the secluded location delayed recovery efforts but did not deter the determination of rescue teams.

Details Surrounding the Crash

The F/A-18 Hornet, a multi-role combat aircraft, is a cornerstone of Marine Corps aviation. At the time of the crash, the aircraft belonged to the Marine All-Weather Fighter Attack Squadron 224 but was not officially part of the 3rd Marine Aircraft Wing at MCAS Miramar.

Preliminary reports suggest the crash did not result in ground damage or endanger civilians. However, the exact circumstances leading to the tragedy remain unclear.

Investigative Efforts

The Marine Corps has launched a comprehensive investigation to determine the cause of the crash. Key areas of focus include:

Aircraft Condition: Inspecting mechanical components for malfunctions or wear.

Environmental Factors: Evaluating weather conditions and terrain influence.

Pilot Procedures: Reviewing training protocols and flight data to identify potential operational issues.

This thorough analysis aims to prevent future incidents and uphold the safety standards of military aviation.

The Marine Corps' Response

The death of Major Andrew Mettler has deeply impacted the Marine Corps community. Leaders have expressed heartfelt condolences, with the head of the 2nd Marine Aircraft Wing stating:

“Major Mettler’s loss is deeply felt across the Corps. His courage, leadership, and commitment to his squadron will never be forgotten.”

This tragic incident has reinforced the bonds among Marines, who rally together during times of grief.

Broader Implications and Public Reaction

The crash has reignited discussions about the safety of military aviation, with public and media attention focusing on the reliability of aging aircraft and the rigorous demands of pilot training. Media outlets, including NBC San Diego, Stars and Stripes, and Newsweek, have extensively covered the incident, reflecting widespread concern and sympathy.

Preserving Major Mettler’s Legacy

Major Mettler’s sacrifice has left an indelible mark on the Marine Corps. As investigations continue, the military community is committed to learning from this tragedy to enhance safety protocols and honor his memory.

This incident serves as a solemn reminder of the risks undertaken by service members and the profound respect they deserve for their commitment to duty.

Conclusion

The loss of Major Andrew Mettler in the Miramar fighter jet crash is a tragedy that resonates deeply within the Marine Corps and beyond. As the military investigates the causes of this heartbreaking incident, the memory of Major Mettler’s valor and dedication will endure as an inspiration to his comrades and the nation he served.

[sunaleisocial]

Tech Today: NASA Helps Find Where the Wildfires Are - NASA

New Post has been published on https://sunalei.org/news/tech-today-nasa-helps-find-where-the-wildfires-are-nasa/

Tech Today: NASA Helps Find Where the Wildfires Are - NASA

Globally, nearly all wildfires start with a human ignition source – not lightning strikes or wildlife encountering power equipment. Knowing humans can be a primary cause is an example of the sort of knowledge that helps predict and prevent wildfires, a challenge that NASA and the firefighting industry are undertaking together. 

As wildfires become more common in rarely experienced countries like Ireland and are more intense in other areas impacted by climate change, governments and businesses are turning to space for help.

Landsat satellite Earth-observation data, artificial intelligence, and machine learning now predict and monitor fires and support post-fire recovery. San Diego-based Technosylva Inc. provides firefighters with a wildfire monitoring service that combines all these technologies. The company also uses other NASA fire data resources compiled by the agency’s Ames Research Center in Silicon Valley to assist during the fire season and beyond.

Technosylva uses data fusion, which integrates multiple data sources from climate, weather, landscapes, and human infrastructure, to develop a complete picture of current fire risks. Before fire season begins, these efforts help develop more resilient landscapes to make communities safer. During the fire season, models predict how fires will spread, and provide real-time equipment and personnel tracking across vast tracts of land.

During the 2017 Las Máquinas wildfire in Chile – a fire so large the only way to view the perimeter was from space – Technosylva assisted in firefighting efforts by providing satellite data to help identify new hot spots and guided containment efforts.

[sdbytes]

Computer Repair

At SD Bytes, the essence of superior Computer Repair services comes to life, offering a comprehensive solution to the technological challenges faced by individuals and businesses in the dynamic landscape of San Diego. With a mission to deliver excellence in every aspect, SD Bytes stands as a beacon of reliability, offering a diverse range of computer repair services catering to both hardware and software intricacies.

One of the key strengths of SD Bytes lies in its team of highly skilled technicians. These professionals boast an in-depth understanding of the nuances of computer systems, allowing them to proficiently diagnose and resolve issues with precision. Whether it's a malfunctioning hardware component, a software glitch, or a performance-related concern, SD Bytes employs cutting-edge tools and methodologies to provide effective solutions tailored to the unique needs of each client.

The scope of SD Bytes' computer repair services spans a wide range of issues, including but not limited to virus removal, data recovery, hardware replacement, and system optimization. The company is equipped to handle diverse brands and models, ensuring a broad expertise that accommodates the varied technology landscape. Clients can rely on SD Bytes to address issues ranging from the simplest glitches to complex technical challenges.

SD Bytes takes pride in its customer-centric approach. The company places a premium on transparent communication, ensuring that clients are kept informed about the repair process, associated costs, and timelines. This commitment to clarity extends to fair and competitive pricing, allowing clients to make informed decisions about their computer repair needs.

Located in the vibrant tech hub of San Diego, SD Bytes caters to a diverse clientele, including home users, small businesses, and larger enterprises. The company's commitment to staying at the forefront of technological advancements is evident in its adoption of the latest diagnostic tools and repair methodologies. This dedication positions SD Bytes as a trusted resource for those seeking professional and reliable computer repair services in the San Diego area.

Whether it's a laptop, desktop, or workstation, SD Bytes takes pride in being a one-stop destination for all computer repair needs. As technology evolves, so does SD Bytes, ensuring that its clients receive the most effective and up-to-date solutions to keep their digital ecosystems running seamlessly. For more information about their comprehensive computer repair services, visit their website at https://www.sdbytes.com/.

[it4aweek]

 Make sure your data is safe and secure with our Mac Data Recovery Services. Phone 858-324-2820 Email support@it4aweek.com

[it4aweek16]

https://www.it4aweek.com/

IT4AWEEK provides Data Recovery Services in San Diego, offering reliable and efficient solutions to help their clients recover lost data. With their experienced team of technicians, state-of-the-art tools and resources, and a commitment to customer satisfaction, IT4AWEEK provides a comprehensive solution for all data recovery needs. Their services include recovering data from corrupted hard drives, restoring data from formatted drives, and data recovery from deleted files. Furthermore, they provide both onsite and offsite services, ensuring the utmost safety and security of the client's data. With IT4AWEEK, businesses and individuals in San Diego can trust that their data will be recovered quickly and efficiently

[mariacallous]

As data continues to accumulate on how local governments are using their flexible funds from the American Rescue Plan Act (ARPA), a picture is forming around the priorities these places sought to address through the first year of the program. Last month, our analysis found that large cities had committed about 40% of the total flexible dollars available to them under ARPA’s State and Local Fiscal Recovery Funds (SLFRF) through the end of 2021—a plurality of which they invested in basic government operations.

While restoring state and local government services and basic fiscal health was a central purpose of ARPA, so too was addressing the economic needs of populations and communities that suffered the most from the pandemic. These included lower-income households and people of color who faced higher rates of unemployment and a lack of basic necessities such as food and housing, as well as historically disinvested communities that saw higher business closures, declines in public safety, and degraded infrastructure. Other statutory SLFRF priorities included public health responses to the pandemic, investments in water and sewer projects, and premium pay for frontline workers.

The latest data from our Local Government ARPA Investment Tracker—a joint project with the National League of Cities and National Association of Counties—sheds light on the degree to which large cities and counties are using their funds to address the needs of these impacted populations and communities. Large cities and counties (those with populations of at least 250,000) report on individual SLFRF-supported projects to the Treasury Department, and the Tracker places each project into one of seven spending groups and one of 41 spending sub-groups, based on its purpose.

This analysis classifies 19 of those sub-groups as principally related to addressing the needs of impacted or historically disinvested populations and communities.[1] It also includes projects outside these categories that recipients classified as providing “services to disproportionately impacted communities” per Treasury’s own reporting system, such as Buffalo, N.Y.’s investment in a low-income neighborhood park, San Diego County’s provision of public transportation subsidies for lower-income young people, or Washington County, Minn.’s investment in new staff capacity to better address socioeconomic disparities in health outcomes.[2]

This approach cannot fully capture the desired intent or practical effect of each city and county’s spending plans. For instance, several cities (e.g., Chicago, San Francisco, Tampa, Fla.) have made generous use of the SLFRF’s revenue replacement provisions. That classification may allow them to reinvest in programs and services that benefit lower-income households and communities, though not necessarily in ways that are apparent in their project reports to Treasury. Moreover, other types of SLFRF investments that don’t by definition address economic disadvantage—say, premium pay for city/county workers, or public goods like water/sewer upgrades—could still combat economic disadvantage, depending on their implementation details. Still, this analysis offers a useful benchmark for where the needs of these populations and places stood within cities’ and counties’ initial prioritization.

A little more than one-quarter of budgeted project dollars explicitly address economic disadvantage

[oreo-chan-posts]

Have You Got the Skills?

Did you go to school at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology? Do you study technology at Harvard? Do you have an electronics engineering degree from Stanford? Well, if you do not have any of these things, then why would you think that it is possible for you to repair your own hard drive without the help of a hard drive recovery service company? So many people each day decide that now would be a great time to repair their hard drive despite the fact that they have no tools that are appropriate for the job. What's more, even fewer of these people even have an understanding of how hard drive technology works. Some people think that if they just unscrew a circuit board, everything will be all right. They're hard drive will return to its functioning state and their data will be perfect. Unfortunately, it takes skill and experience to handle an effective hard drive recovery.

The Bonus of Orange County Data Recovery Shops

One of the bonuses of running a Orange County data recovery service is that one gets a variety of callers from all over the state of California. Orange County borders both San Diego and Los Angeles counties, and as a result people seeking hard drive recovery services will typically call an orange county provider before they would a similar national provider. This just makes sense, as in reality the interstate that all three counties very easily. Irvine's Hard Drive Recovery Group is one of the most established hard drive recovery providers in the area. Handling both small individual PC hard drive repair jobs as well as larger raid data recovery jobs, the shop continues to outperform even the local Los Angeles shops. And fortunately, they are provider that continue to innovate in the world of data recovery. A lot of companies in the area, despite the fact that they do not need data recovery, keep one provider at the top of mind when they have server issues: Hard Drive Recovery Group.

Hard Drive Recovery Service Jobs Are Available!

One of the most overlooked sectors when it comes to technology jobs is the hard drive recovery service sector. Across the United States, this sector employs thousands of people, many of them with high-level university degrees, as well as astonishing levels of engineering talent. As we have seen corporate environments move their data storage from typical raid servers to cloud computing banks , the sheer amount of data, some of it mission-critical, has become almost infinite. Because of this, and because of the fact that hard drive technology has not really changed over the past 15 years, hard drive recovery technicians continue to be in demand. And while universities still have not considered the data recovery industry one that they feel they should concentrate on, electronics engineering students typically have an advantage when it comes to these kinds of jobs. No matter how you look at it, this is not an industry that is going away.

[maevefiction]

Your Light in the Mist - Chapter 48

Tom remained at Wilcox Medical until July 11th, and I didn’t leave his side for more than a few minutes during the entirety of his stay…a navy-blue leather recliner to the left of his bed had served as my sleeping spot. Said sleep was elusive, as is the case with any hospital stay. It’s all a blur of doctors and nurses and machines and strange periods of quiet that turn into an assaultive dissonance on a dime. Detective Frye paid us a visit at the hospital the day before Tom was discharged in order to discuss his recollection of the incident, aspiring to fill in as many blanks remaining in the police report as possible. Since there was no one to prosecute, such matters were for the record only, but accurate information was essential in the event that a civil suit was filed by Claudia’s family. I was initially taken aback when Tom asked me to leave the room while he spoke with the detective, and it must have shown on my face because Tom quickly apologized and said he simply wasn’t ready for me to hear any of it, even though I might be ready to listen. Upon my return an hour later, Frye was gone and Tom was visibly upset, with an underlying anger reflected by the tension in his shoulders and the set of his jaw. Though it was a challenge, I didn’t pry, settling instead for squeezing his hand before I retired to my chair and sat in silence with him until he was ready to talk. And when he did, it was about everything and anything other than whatever it was that he’d just shared with a complete stranger.  

His recovery had gone smoothly, but we’d found ourselves taking what amounted to a forced vacation in a rented condo on Kauai, waiting for Tom to be cleared to fly to San Diego so he could, hopefully, arrive there in time to participate in the Kong Skull Island panel. Since we’d be in Australia for a large chunk of my pregnancy, I’d decided to choose an obstetrician there, and had managed to find one in London as well who was willing to follow along and take over once we returned home in mid-to-late November. That date was tentative at best since we weren’t sure what physical limitations or restrictions Tom would have nor how they’d affect the Ragnarok shooting schedule. I’d had a basic blood work-up and general physical exam at Wilcox, and when that turned out fine I opted to wait on a sonogram. It seemed silly, but I just didn’t want to forever associate the experience of seeing our progeny for the first time with…whatever the correct term for what we were going through was. Prog…that’s what we’d started calling the little bugger that was making me violently ill at least once a day. Short for progeny, with a ‘j’ sound. The Prog.

Diana, James and the rest of Tom’s family had headed home as soon as he’d been discharged, but Luke and Simon stuck around under the guise of not wanting to fly to London only to have to turn around and fly right back to the US again for SDCC. In reality, I knew the reason for them remaining was because they figured we’d need their companionship and assistance but wouldn’t want to ask for either, which was one-hundred percent correct. They’d taken on the task of finding the rental, packing up our belongings at the hotel and having them ready and waiting when we arrived. No one even asked if I wanted to do it myself, for which I was grateful, because there was no way I was going back there. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able go back there…just looking through our wedding pictures and videos pushed me to the edge of the ‘massive anxiety attack ahead’ cliff, and, in all honesty, I couldn’t wait to get the fuck off of Kauai. Remaining there seemed to make it impossible to process, to try to move forward. I’d begun having nightmares, as had Tom, but we didn’t speak of them in the daylight hours, nor in the dark of night. I knew that there was work to be done, that we needed to find a pathway to healing emotionally…but that didn’t seem possible until things in the physical realm were fully sorted.

Tom’s first follow-up appointment had taken place on the 13th, his second – and last – on the 18th. Dr. Salinas gave him clearance to travel and return to normal physical activity with some limitations…no running and no stunt work for thirty days. After that it would be business as usual, but for the next three months he’d need to self-monitor, and if he noticed any pain or atypical shortness of breath he was to head to the nearest medical facility immediately. Copies of all related paperwork would be sent to the proper department at Marvel for review, and the new shooting schedule emailed once it had been established. Since he was fine to do a majority of planned scenes, it was likely only three weeks or so of actual filming time would be lost. Which was bad enough, but…could have been worse. So much worse. I wondered if I’d always think that way, and if it wasn’t actually a bad way to evaluate one’s current situation. All things should seem less horrible when you pause to consider what’s worse, in theory. I decided to file it under ‘convenient diversionary tactics to avoid dealing with life’, mainly because my pondering had been interrupted by another round of heaving up the contents of my stomach.

All four of us shared a charter to San Diego on the 21st, heading directly from the airport to the same hotel we’d stayed in the year before via a car service. Stepping out of the black Dodge Durango and onto the pavement was surreal…a mix of reporters, media, and attendees thrilled to be among their people again were all around us, and we were paid little to no mind until we entered the lobby. There were stares, pointing, and whispering as well as several shouts from well-wishers. While it was a bit overwhelming after spending so much time in a private setting, the positive energy emanating from those within our space reminded me that there were likely some folks who’d been concerned about us and had been sending along that same energy from a distance via social media. I hadn’t looked, and neither had Tom, but now was probably the time to investigate and at least post a simple thank you if nothing else. I didn’t want to, but it seemed rude not to, so I added it to my mental to-do list.

After check-in we took the elevator up to our floor, and when the doors opened I could feel my body tense at the sight of the narrow hallway. Tom and I stepped out into it, leaving Luke and Simon behind as their room was two floors above us. We walked to our room, the third one on the left, and when I turned to face the door a vision of Claudia knocking on it froze me in place. Once Tom completed sliding the keycard and swung the door inward the contents of the room were clearly visible, and though slow to process the data, my brain cycled logically…not Kauai, different place, dead Claudia, all clear…and I managed to step forward and inside. The door shut behind me with a loud click, and I flinched, then headed for the bathroom. Tom had pulled out his phone and begun talking to someone I assumed was either Jordan or a fellow cast member about the panel’s structure and content. He was still engaged in conversation when I emerged a few minutes later, standing in front of the window that overlooked the city. The setting sun, now at its lowest visible point on the horizon, had created a halo effect that surrounded his upper body, and in that moment, I felt like myself again…normal, even. My version of normal, anyway. And then, there was a knock on the door, and I panicked, whimpering quietly because that’s all my body would permit. Tom didn’t realize anything was awry at first, only turning around when the knocking continued. He took one look at my face, tossed his phone on the bed, and walked quickly to stand in front of me as he loudly stated to whomever was out in the hallway that he’d be right there.

He took my face in his hands ever so carefully, trying his best to keep himself even-keeled for my benefit. “It’s okay. It’s probably just our luggage. I’ll go see, and I promise I’ll leave the bolt on until I’m certain. All right?”

I nodded, watching him from the foot of the bed, unconsciously clenching my hands into fists as I waited for something terrible to unfold. As the door opened my heart began to pound like mad, and when I saw the luggage dolly I sat down, elbows on my knees and my head in my hands…relieved, but confused and embarrassed by my behavior. I heard the door close again, then felt Tom’s weight shift the mattress as he sat beside me. I lifted my head slowly as he slipped his arm around my shoulders. I wanted to say something but I didn’t know where or how to begin, and since he remained silent I assumed he felt the same way. Though it felt wrong to judge so quickly, this was becoming a pattern, and it made me uncomfortable across the board. We hadn’t been intimate since the night before the public wedding ceremony and learning that I was pregnant, and it felt petty and selfish to even be thinking about not having fucked my husband in three weeks when I’d almost lost him forever, but I missed him, missed the reinforcement of the connection between us sex provided, all of it. It had been officially off the table until the restrictions Dr. Salinas had imposed were lifted, and while I’d been expecting to get back to it right away his expectations clearly differed. To be honest, he’d expressed no interest in it whatsoever. I didn’t know what to make of it, and it was another instance of me saying nothing because I had no clue as to what I should say, if anything. I’d also caught him looking at me on multiple occasions while wearing an expression of guilt and/or regret and again, said nothing. A pattern indeed, and an awful one that I was unsure how to break free of, other than being patient until it ran its course. Lord knew he’d been ceaselessly patient with me all along the way, the situation he’d just navigated serving as a prime example. Was that the right way to handle this? Fuck if I knew. What I did know that I was exhausted, and softly announced that I was going to try to get some rest. He kissed the top of my head, rose and began to unpack our luggage as I undressed and crawled under the covers. As I lay there, I realized that it wasn’t only him who hadn’t revealed the details of their experience that day…neither had I. Yet, he’d known the circumstances, enough, at least, to know someone knocking at the door was something I might now find frightening. Had he watched a video of the press conference? Discussed it with Luke or Simon? Or, perhaps, Detective Frye? I sat up, intending to broach the subject, but found myself trapped between needing resolution and wanting to avoid causing him any additional pain. His voice startled me.

“Maude? You okay?”

I stood, nodding. “Tired, but can’t sleep. Gonna take a shower and see if that helps.”

As I walked past him, he set the shirts in his hand down on the dresser in order to reach out for me, pulling me to his chest and kissing the top of my head again, then releasing me. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” The carry-on that contained my toiletries was on the floor near him, and I stooped to pick it up and brought it with me into the bathroom. After closing the door behind me, I started to cry. I cried as I unpacked what I needed. I cried as I turned on the water, I cried as I shampooed my hair, I cried as I rinsed it, I cried as I soaped myself and rinsed again, and I cried as I dried myself off and hung the towel back on the rack. My eyes were red when I glanced at my reflection, so I wet a washcloth with cold water and held it over them for several minutes then checked myself out again. Not ideal, but acceptable. I blew my nose, then walked back out into the room. Tom had finished unpacking and was sitting at the room’s desk, laptop open in front of him. He looked up at me, smiling.

“Better?”

“I think so.” I put my hands on my naked hips. “You coming to bed?”

“Not yet…going over a few things for the panel tomorrow. Will it keep you awake if I’m working?”

I shook my head as I allowed my hands to drop to my sides. “I don’t think so. I can always put my earbuds in and listen to music if it does.”

“Okay. I can’t imagine I’ll be at this for more than an hour, honestly, so I’ll be joining you soon. Get some sleep, my love.”

“Okay.” I returned to my tangle of sheets and blankets, my damp hair clinging to my neck, my back turned to him. There was, of course, no sleep to be had, though I pretended to be out cold when he finally settled in beside me two hours later. Once I was positive he was asleep, I got up, put on my robe, pulled out my own laptop and sat at the desk he’d recently vacated to do my own work. Which didn’t require much effort, as the only pressing task on my list was the Skype interview I had set with Chad Morrison for the New York Times tomorrow at 1 PM. I reviewed the most recent Manageall stats Trudy had sent me, created a bullet-point list, then spent the next few hours surfing around checking out random things that I thought might hold my interest and, perhaps, entertain me. I woke up in a puddle of drool with my hand beneath my head resting on the desk, my browser still open and displaying an article entitled ‘Gentle Yoga For A Better Birth’. The system clock read 6:17 AM, and a quick glance at the bed confirmed Tom was still sleeping. I stood, removed my robe, hit the bathroom and then slipped in beside him, waiting for him to awaken and for the day to begin. A new location, a full schedule, little time to dwell…and, hopefully, all of that would amount to first steps down that pathway we needed to traverse.

***************************************

SDCC had gone off without a hitch…everyone was incredibly respectful, and kind. I don’t know why I would have expected anything else, other than that little voice I kept hearing inside my head whispering things like ‘they know it’s all your fault’. My interview with Chad had been published on July 25th, and by the time we arrived on the Gold Coast in Queensland on the 28th Manageall had surpassed the ten thousand subscriber mark. That kept me busy over the next week as I scrambled from our rental house just outside of Oxenford to remotely help Trudy configure new servers and ensure that the system could handle three times our existing traffic, just in case. Five new employees were added within the space of two days, and all but one stayed on board despite being thrown into the fray with little to no training. Ten-thousand plus subscribers was A Big Deal…aka the amount that tipped our monthly gross revenue over the million-dollar mark. It was a milestone that warranted a discussion, one which Luke and I decided to have in person once I returned to London.

Tom had begun filming at Village Roadshow Studios on July 30th, waking each morning at 4 AM, leaving by 4:30 and returning home each night well after 10 PM, showering, then falling into bed exhausted. To make up for lost time, the shooting schedule would be six days a week until a temporary relocation to Brisbane happened in late August. My schedule mirrored his, mainly in order to account for the 9-hour time difference between Queensland and London. When I’d contact Trudy or Luke at 5 AM my time, it was 8 PM the night before where they were. A mindfuck, truly, and it meant I was done working every day by 11 AM at the latest, which left me with entirely too much time to think. Things between Tom and I were still as they were back in San Diego…no conversations about the incident, no sex. Every day had begun to represent another brick being added to the wall building between us. There was no animosity, we still talked about a broad spectrum of other things, still slept in the same bed, but there was a sense of necessitated cautiousness and a distance that hadn’t been there before.

The obstetrician I’d chosen, Dr. Bresden, practiced out of Brisbane, and my first appointment was scheduled for 1 PM on August 15th. The drive up would take about an hour or so, but we figured we’d leave at 11 and allow ourselves some extra time. If my guess as to when I’d conceived was correct, I’d reached the 13-week mark, possibly the 14th, and over the past eight days I hadn’t puked once, which was both awesome and anxiety inducing. Did it mean I was progressing normally, or was, you know, something WRONG? The evening before the sonogram was rough…I was obsessing over the morning sickness waning, and my nightmares had gotten continually worse, to the point wherein I began to dread going to sleep. We’d gone out to dinner with Chris and Elsa, who decided it was time to share their horror stories about child-rearing and childbirth now that Tom and I were official pledges to the Paternity Fraternity. I bitched about it the entire way home, then continued to complain about it after we’d arrived back at the rental house until I thought I heard Tom sigh heavily, at which point I had to decide whether or not to flip the fuck out or let it pass. Since I couldn’t be totally sure, and also because I could readily admit I had one foot over the cray-cray side of the fence, I let it go and we turned in for the night.

The next thing I knew, I was screaming, Tom was yelling, and my hands hurt like a motherfucker. I took stock of my surroundings and realized I was standing in front of the closed bedroom door. Looking down, I saw knuckles that were bruised and bloodied, as were the pinky-sides of my hands. When I looked back up and left and my gaze met Tom’s, my screaming stopped and his yelling ceased, replaced with a loud gasp of relief that was nearly a sob.

“What the fuck HAPPENED? I was asleep. How am I here? I don’t understand.” I reached out and touched the door with a fingertip, searching for confirmation that this was, in fact, reality, and as soon as I pressed down a jolt of pain hit my brain and I…remembered, my body twisting so I could face Tom.

“The Marriott, but…not the real Marriott. I was in the hallway, and you were dead, right there on the floor, and she was dead next to you, and I was just staring and staring and then she moved. She moved. And then she sat up, and she had the gun and she said ‘did you really think you were getting out of here alive’ and then she stood up and it was like something out of the Walking Dead, her eyes were all filmy and when she opened her mouth I could see right through because the back of her head was just…gone. And I turned around and ran down the hall and I tried all the room doors but they were all locked and then I got to the end of the hall and where there should have been stairs there was a door, a metal door, and the handle moved up and down like it was open but it wouldn’t open and I kept looking back over my shoulder and she was moving so slowly, but I couldn’t get the door to open and down at the other end of the hall was just a wall. She talked again and said she was going to wait until she got close to me to pull the trigger because she wanted to watch, she wanted to see…and I screamed for help, for someone to let me out, but no one came and I started to pound on the door, first with the sides of my fists, but then I started to punch it because she kept getting closer and the she touched me, her hand was on my shoulder and I swung around and punched her in the face and I thought she was going to fall down but she didn’t and then I tried to grab the gun but she wouldn’t let go and I went back to hitting the door and jiggling the handle but I knew I was going to die and then…then I…I was here…”

It felt like my heart was going to pound right out of my chest, and as I reached out to touch Tom to make sure I really wasn’t still inside a nightmare I noticed that the left side of his jaw was reddish-purple and that it was streaked with blood. My hands rose in an instant to cover my mouth, and when I spoke my voice was muffled and garbled.

“Oh my god, I hit YOU, didn’t I? Not her. YOU.” I lowered my hands, briefly assessing their condition once more and realizing that the blood on his face was most likely from my knuckles. “Oh my god. Tom, I’m so sorry…so sorry…are you okay? Jesus fucking CHRIST. What ELSE did I do? What is WRONG with me?!”

He stepped forward and embraced me, rubbing my back in slow circles and rocking me gently until he felt my heart rate returned to normal. Pulling back, he placed his hands on my upper arms, eyes focused on mine. “There’s nothing wrong with you. That was a night terror. I knew the risk of intervening…you’re never supposed to, but I couldn’t just stand aside and…anyway. I’m fine. How are you feeling?”

I shrugged, shaking my head back and forth slowly.

“I know. I’m so very sorry, Maude. First things first…those knuckles of yours need to be cleaned, And, we both could use some ice. Will you come to the kitchen with me? We’ll get that bit sorted, and then we can figure out what’s next. All right?” I nodded, and he stepped back, leaving one arm around my waist. He unlocked the bedroom door, opened it, then led me to the counter that held the undermounted stainless steel sink. We were both nude, and as he leaned forward to open the tap and set the right temperature with his free hand I felt the brush of his pubic hair across my hip, then again as he pulled back and released me in order to go find a clean kitchen towel. More than a year ago in New Orleans I’d had a brief case of performance anxiety after he’d revealed his full sexual history, but this, this was the first time ever that being naked in his presence made me feel uncomfortable. It was more than that, really…I felt self-conscious and exposed. I wrapped my arms around myself, and when he returned to my side I spoke, my chin lowered to my chest as I stared down at the water circling the drain.

“Would you mind getting me my robe?”

He placed two tan and white towels on the counter. “No, not at all…shall I turn the thermostat up a few degrees as well?”

I shook my head. “No thank you. I’m not cold.”

He hesitated, and I said nothing, continuing to stare. I heard his bare feet padding across the tile, the sound fading as he entered the bedroom. Upon the resumption of the sound I forced myself to lift my head and turn to look at him as he drew closer. In his hands was my black silk robe, and when I noticed he’d put on his navy-blue running shorts it dawned on me that by saying I wasn’t cold I’d clued him in as to what was on my mind, at least in part. He held the garment open so I could slip into it easily, his eyes averted as I carefully worked my arms through the sleeves. Though it wasn’t exactly pleasant, I tied the belt on my own. The water was still running, and he reached in and dipped his index finger into the stream.

“That feels all right to me.” His voice was nearly toneless, any emotion present seeming somehow forced. He reached for my right wrist, then paused, eyes asking for permission when I met his gaze. I nodded, then turned to watch as his hand encircled my wrist and guided my knuckles slowly into the streaming water. When I winced at the intensity of the stinging he spoke again, voice now trembling.

“I’m sorry.” He patted my right hand dry ever-so-gently, then moved on to my left. I winced again as the water made contact, noting that Tom’s own hands had begun to shake. By the time he’d dried my left hand off with the second towel, his entire body was quivering, and at that point I realized he was weeping. My head jerked upward and I swiveled my torso so I could see his face. He looked down and away, holding his hand up palm out toward me as he strode rapidly into the living room. I followed, and when I came to rest directly in front of him he spun around, leaving me with a view of his bare shoulders and back contorting as he sobbed.

This was it, then…the tipping point. Seeing him this way overrode my own emotional disarray, and I couldn’t imagine that anything I might say would make the situation worse, so I went all in.

“Tom. We need to talk.” He shook his head, and I gingerly placed my hand on his upper back between his shoulder blades. “Tom.” The contact was broken by him taking two steps forward. “Okay, no touching. That’s fine. But…”

He spun back around, blinking to clear his vison. “You want to touch me?”

“Of course I want to touch you. Why wouldn’t I want to touch you?”

His arms rose from his sides, bent at the elbow with his hands extended, fingers splayed and pointing in my direction as he looked me up and down. “Since you don’t want me to see you, I’m assuming you’d prefer that I also don’t touch you, which leads me to believe you’d prefer to not see or touch me, either.”

“That’s an incorrect assumption all around. I’d prefer it if you did touch me. But you haven’t, not in the way I’d expect you to, and you’ve given me no indication as to why you haven’t, which has caused me to assume that you’re no longer interested in me sexually, which has ultimately resulted in my feeling self-conscious and exposed when standing naked in your presence. Is my assumption as off base as yours?” Not an easy question to ask, that one. I hadn’t thought it through and wondered what the fuck would happen if he said no.

He nodded repeatedly. “Yes. It is. Completely.”

I lifted my arms and extended them outward at shoulder height, palms to the ceiling. “And that’s precisely why we need to talk, Tom. Ow.” Down went the arms, though it didn’t really do a whole hell of a lot for the throbbing ache in my hands. “We’ve avoided this conversation for far too long…instead we danced around the subject in an effort to prevent causing each other any additional pain. But that didn’t work. That never works, and I know that, but here we are…staring at each other across an ever-widening chasm which will eventually grow too vast to bridge. This distance, this disconnect…it’s awful. I’ve seen the pain in your eyes, and the anger, the guilt, the regret…and there’s my own shit I need to talk about…but I’ve stayed silent for fear of hurting you and I don’t want to do that anymore, Tom. I don’t think I CAN do it anymore.” There were two beige micro-fiber chairs on one side of the living room, and a matching couch on the other. We were standing between them, and I sat down at one end of the sofa. Tom hesitated at the other end briefly, then decided to sit in the middle, right by my side, and began to speak.

“I’m afraid. It terrifies me, the thought of my lung collapsing again. What if the next time I’m not so fortunate? What if it kills me, and you’re left here alone, and our child grows up without ever knowing me? All day long, with everything I do that’s even remotely physical, I’m aware of every breath that seems even remotely atypical, every twinge of the muscles in my torso. I’ve been counting down and focusing on the three-month marker because that’s when the risk of it happening again decreases to align with the norm. I’ve promised myself that then, that’s it, there’s no further need to worry, that I can let it go. I want to let it go. I hope I can let it go. But that’s why I haven’t…we haven’t. I wouldn’t want you to have to live with that, us loving each other being the end of me. And I should have told you. I should have. And I’m sorry. There’s another reason as well, and it’s a completely irrational fear but it feels real, and present. I’m sure it’s relative in some fashion to my past loss, but…I…”

Thinking in such a macabre and medieval-esque fashion was not Tom’s style, and that his mind had gone there was indicative of what a mess he’d been, and I was both impressed with and distressed by how well he’d managed it all from me. “You’re afraid that if we have sex I might have a miscarriage.”

He turned to face me, nodding. “It’s ludicrous. This I know. It’s not specifically that sex would be the cause, but if such a thing were to happen within close proximity of the act…and Maude, I just…I…I feel like death is just…it’s always lurking…even on set, you know? Loki’s role in Ragnarok is redemptive, there’s a comprehensive resolution, and he finally is able to ascertain his place in the universe and be at peace with it, and perhaps begin to experience happiness, or at least contentment…but I know what awaits him, that this moment for him is fleeting at best and I can’t help but see parallels there to my own reality.” Pausing, he rested his head in his hands, then moved them slowly back to his lap as he turned sideways, right leg bent with his knee on the couch resting centimeters from my left thigh. I shifted to mirror his position as he swallowed hard before continuing.

“I was mid-way through my run when I saw her. She waved at me as if her being there was perfectly normal. It made my blood boil, and instead of having the wherewithal to get back to the hotel as quickly as possible I approached her. I asked her what the fuck she was doing there, and told her she needed to leave immediately or she’d wind up with a police escort off the property. The mask of a friendly greeting fell away and she said ‘How could you let her to this to me, Tom? Let her ruin my life? I did what I had to do so she couldn’t trap you, and instead of being grateful you let her lie about me to the world, and then you married her. You married her, when you know how much I love you. And you love me. We belong together, you know that. She’s brainwashed you, that’s what’s going on here. She’s trying to keep us apart, and you can’t just roll over and and let it happen. Tom, come with me right now. We’ll run away and be happy, you and me, just us. Please. You have to come with me.’ And I told her I would do no such thing, that not only did I not love her, I regretted every moment I’d spent with her and that I wished I’d never met her, that I wished I could go back in time and tell her to get the fuck away from me when she crawled under the table to suck my dick. That whenever I thought about having fucked her it made me physically ill. And then I told her I was so lucky and so blessed that in spite of the mistakes I’d made I’d found you, that I’d never loved anyone like you before, and I never would again. Her response was that this was all your fault, that you’d stolen me away from her, and that if she couldn’t have me, no one would…and that’s when she pulled the gun out of the gift bag and shot me. The pain knocked me down and back and I fell onto the sand, and she put the gun back in the bag and said she really thought she wouldn’t need to use it, but I was too far gone and you were to blame. And that if she was going to have to pay for her crimes, you’d have to pay for yours too. She smiled at me, knelt down in the sand, kissed my check, said goodbye, then got up and took off running down the beach toward the hotel. I sat up, and the pain…and the blood…but I had to go after her. Each step I took seemed an eternity, and I couldn’t run, but I needed to get to you. I realized I’d never catch her, and that I was close to Luke and Simon’s room, so I began to walk that way. And then I crawled. But it wasn’t enough. I couldn’t get to you. I set all this in motion, there in that moment. I let my anger get the best of me and we both almost died because of it. In LA, when she threw the highball glass at you…I should have known. Up until that moment I was her focus, and she still believed that her and I would have a relationship at some point. You were just a minor inconvenience, a bump in the road. When she discovered that you knew about the videos…that’s where the shift happened. You became her target, the one to blame. I didn’t see it. I should have seen it. Having you speak at the press conference instead of handling it on my own was akin to painting a bullseye on your chest. And when you needed me most, when I should have been the one to face the monster I’d invited into my orbit, I wasn’t there for you, or for our child. I wasn’t there, Maude. I couldn’t protect you. I couldn’t save you. I wasn’t THERE.”

For the first time in a long while…since our wedding day, really…I saw him…really saw him. Because he’d finally let me see him again. Sitting before me was a man so burdened by guilt and sorrow that he had no tears left to cry…an anxious, exhausted, depressed, defeated man positively teeming with self-loathing. My husband. A rush of pure, unadulterated love washed over me followed by an irrepressible urge to comfort him and banish all his fears that resulted in my reaching out and taking his hands in my damaged own, oblivious to the pain.

“Tom. No one sees this kind of thing coming. This is the stuff of late-night crime dramas and tragic Oscar-bait films. There was no way for you to know. I didn’t know, either…and believe me, I’ve beaten myself up for it, too. I’m the one who got in her face in LA and spouted off about prison. And no one ‘had’ me do anything…I stood at that podium of my own volition and called her bluff. I knew she’d be pissed, and I did it not only in spite of that fact, but, at least in a small way, because of it. The blame for that falls squarely on my shoulders. But what she did…no, Tom. It’s not your fault, it’s not my fault…that’s all on her. It was her choice. Her decision. And she was too much of a coward to answer for it. And even though I know all that, the logic behind it, I still feel guilty about how I handled all of it every day…and I thought you’d distanced yourself because you blamed me. Do you blame me?”

He shook his head, voice barely a whisper. “No. I thought the same…do you blame me?”

“No. I do not. I have not. Not even for a second. And there’s something else you need to know, Tom.” Those blue eyes full of trepidation met my brown ones. “You’re right about not being there…but you’re wrong about not protecting me, and you’re wrong about not being able to save me. When I opened that door and she was standing in the hallway, I was frozen in place. I couldn’t move. I watched the gun rise higher and higher and inside my head I was screaming ‘close the door, close the door’ but I couldn’t and then that faded and the only thought I had left was ‘she’s going to shoot me now’. And then I heard a man’s voice shouting for her to drop her weapon, and that broke the spell. That voice is the reason why I was able to get the door closed. That voice is the reason why those three bullets lodged in the door and not in my flesh. The man that voice belonged to? Police officer. And why was he there in exactly that place at precisely that time? Because you sent him, Tom. You sent him upstairs. You gave him the room number. You told him to go, GO! And he went.  If you hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t be sitting here with you on the couch right now…so I don’t ever want to hear you say you couldn’t protect me or that you couldn’t save me ever again. You might not have been by my side when it happened, but you saved my life and our child’s life all the same. And you risked your own life to do it, Tom. Dr. Salinas said if you’d have stayed still your lung wouldn’t have fully collapsed so quickly. But you didn’t stay still. You got up over and over again and kept going and being in restraints couldn’t even stop you. You almost died that day in order to make sure we didn’t. Do you understand that? You almost died. To save your family. If that’s not protecting what you love, then I don’t know what the fuck IS.”

When our eyes met his lower lip began to quiver and I tightened my grip on his hands. “That day, outside the recovery room, Dr. Salinas…she said that she couldn’t explain why you made it through so well…why you lived. She didn’t phrase it quite that way, but that was the gist of it. But I know why. When you got word that I was alive, that I was unharmed…you went to war. You waged a battle with the final enemy. And you were victorious. You returned to me, to us. You fought death that day and you won, Tom. You came back. You came home.”

His gaze turned toward our joined hands a he positioned his left ring finger so it was next to mine, the silver bands that bound us clinking softly together in the silence. He looked back up at me, the right corner of his mouth having curled upward in a half-smile, tears tracking down his cheeks and through his stubble like tiny pachinko balls. “When I promised to never let you go, I meant it.”

I began to sob then, as did Tom. He pulled me onto his lap, my bottom nestled between his thighs, legs sideways, feet resting on the cushion I’d just vacated. He wrapped his left arm around my waist, the right around my shoulders, hand cradling my head and pressing it gently to his left shoulder. He rocked us back and forth, side to side, his face buried in my hair. When the weeping ceased, I ran my right thumb along the base of his left one, that oddly sensual spot of flesh which allows lovers to steal moments of secret erotic pleasure in full view of the world. As he began to do the same in turn, there it was…a spark of the energy within us both demanding to be set free so it could unite each with the other’s and light our collective world ablaze. I raised my head to take stock of his expression, wondering if he felt it as well. His tongue snaked across his lips and I inhaled sharply, which earned me a an ecstatic eyeroll and a pelvic thrust from him, his cock hard against my ass. He kissed me then, both our mouths open from the start. There was no finesse in any of it, all tongues and saliva and clashing of teeth as he undid my robe and cupped my left breast in his right hand, thumb stroking back and forth over my nipple. His touch caused me to gasp and cant my hips, and I could feel his body tensing…whether it was with fear or desire, I couldn’t be certain. I removed his hand from my breast and stood up, then turned to face him as I let my robe drop from my shoulders and fall to the floor. Leaning forward, I placed my hands on his shoulders and stared into his eyes, again unsure of whether it was lust or terror at hand.  

“Tom, honey…please don’t put any pressure on yourself. It’s okay if you’re afraid. I understand. Now that I know why…I’m fine. Take your time with this. Please.”

He grabbed my hips and pulled me forward and down, his words nearly a growl. “I’m afraid I’ve reached the point wherein the chances of me dying are far greater if I can’t have you right now as opposed to any other scenario.” He looked up at me and for a second or two I would have sworn it was Loki whose eyes I saw, but then Tom was back where he belonged, expression now pleading. “Will you ride me?”

I nodded, placing one knee on either side of his lap. He didn’t even bother with removing his shorts, instead pushing back the elastic just enough to allow him to reach in and free his cock. When the head of it connected with my wetness we both groaned. I shifted forward so he was poised at my entrance but paused before welcoming him inside, needing assurance that he was certain about taking this step.

“Are you sure this is okay?”

He answered without hesitation, voice thick with desire. “Yes. I’m sure. I want you. I need you. I need to be inside you. Yes.”

I lowered myself onto his cock, relishing in the feel of it stretching me, filling me…of how it melded two separate beings into a combined entity that pulsed with unified power and unequaled pleasure. Tom’s head had lolled back onto the back of the couch, eyes closed, his elegant neck and jawline demanding attention from my tongue as I began to circle my hips. I was careful to avoid the bruised area, licking around and down until I reached the hollow of his collarbone, and the whine such ministrations elicited caused my unhurried gyrating to turn to a forceful, rapid rise and fall. His eyes opened, head lifting off the couch as he reached around to take hold of my ass cheeks, one in each hand, pulling outward.

“Maude. Oh Maude. MAUDE. Don’t stop please don’t stop I love you I love you I love you…” His lips found mine, tongue thrusting into my mouth as I rode him harder until he came, his breath and mine one and the same as his come painted my walls in a continuous gush of warm spurts that I thought might go on forever. His index finger found my clit and I orgasmed instantly, clenching and squeezing around him as if my body was insistent on locking him in place, an idea I thoroughly supported. It wasn’t until he broke the kiss and that I noticed he was panting, and I took his face in my hands, the past minutes eclipsed by a deep-seated concern for his well-being.

“Are you okay? Can you breathe? Do you have any pain? Tom?”

He inhaled, then exhaled, smiling softly. “No pain. Nothing unusual, just the normal effect being incredibly well fucked by my gorgeous wife has on me. I’m fine.” His smile faded, replaced with an expression of concern likely similar to the one he’d seen me wearing seconds before. “How are you? Everything okay?”

I nodded. “Yep. I’m good. Exhausted, but good. And all of a sudden I really, really want salt and vinegar potato chips. Like, bad. They have those here, right? Man…I can almost taste them…wow, this is…”

His smile returned as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, our chests pressed together. “That sounds like it might be a craving. I believe I’m obligated to dress and head out now, in the middle of the night, to track down your snack of choice and bring it home posthaste.”

Though I admittedly salivated at the thought, my body’s need for sleep overrode what was in essence just a ‘want’. “As much as I appreciate your willingness to do so…no. The only place you’re going is back to bed with me. If you’re willing to risk round two, that is.” His left eyebrow rose, a small smirk that for some ridiculous reason made me blush appearing on his face. I rolled my eyes in an effort to distract him from the pink-hued heat that I could feel reaching my cheeks. “I meant round two as in a boxing match. You know, because I punched you? Round of boxing.”

He rubbed the tip of his nose against mine. “Oh goodness me…it appears I’ve got a blushing bride on my hands. Well, technically, on my cock, but…”

I covered my face with my hands as I shook my head. “Do you always have to notice EVERY LITTLE THING Tom? Seriously.”

He pulled my hands away carefully and kissed my forehead. “It’s adorable. Reminds me of the day we met…when we were in Kauai Pasta. You were sipping your soda and I watched the flush spread from your chest up your neck and that’s when you took too big a sip and began to choke.”

My jaw dropped. “Oh my god, you saw that? I was, like, half-joking about you noticing every little thing. Christ in a sidecar.”

Shrugging, he brought my left hand to his lips and placed a kiss in the center of my palm. “In my defense, I was bewitched. Mesmerized by your beauty, your essence…your everything. And I’ve always wondered what you were thinking of in that moment…”

“Oh you have, have you? Allow me to fill you in then. The server had just asked us if we wanted cocktails and I thought hmm, I wonder how that particular compound word came to be and that led me to…your cock, Tom. I was thinking about your cock.”

His brow furrowed, eyes narrowed in disbelief. “No you were not.”

I nodded, lips pressed together, eyes wide. “Oh, but yes I was. And, like, I’ve never STOPPED thinking about it so…you know, here we are.”

He roared with laughter, and I realized that it had been entirely far too long since I’d heard that sound, which made me tear up because that laugh…it was akin to a hymn, at least when it fell upon my ears, and my god, how I’d missed it. How I’d missed him.  When he noticed that not only had I not joined in but was visibly upset he guided my head to rest on his shoulder, one hand wound in my hair and the other rubbing my back as he whispered softly.

“Maude, it’s all right. I understand that you may be sad, or angry…whatever it is you’re feeling, I’m here for you. I’m so very, very sorry I haven’t been. But I am now. I’ll help you through all of it. I know it won’t always be easy, for either of us, but we can do it. Together. Together, there’s nothing we can’t do.”

I lifted my head and leaned back, reaching up to trace his jawline with my right index finger. “I’m not sad, really…and I’m not angry…it’s just…I just…I missed you.” I gestured down to where we remained joined. “I missed this. That’s probably selfish and stupid but you…you’re a part of me and this is when you’re MOST a part of me and…and…I’m very, very sorry too. I wasn’t there for you, either. And you’re right about it not always being easy, because this is the big leagues of fuckery. I’m afraid of closed doors and…hello, night terrors. Sometimes it’s hard to be grateful when you’re overwhelmed by fear, but I know for sure I need to turn my focus toward what’s good, and there really, truly is an astonishing abundance of good, isn’t there? I’m here, you’re here, Prog will be here too soon enough…we are blessed, and it’s true…together, there’s nothing we can’t do. I love you. So much. So, so much. My god, we’re having a baby. It still doesn’t seem real…”

He smiled. “I have a sneaking suspicion that after your appointment tomorrow it will seem very, VERY real. In just a few hours, we’re going to get to see Prog. It’s…it’s…”

My eyes squeezed shut. “You mean my appointment this morning. Yikers, it’s so late it’s early and we haven’t slept and between your jaw and my knuckles we’re going to look like we had a knock-down drag out fight, but yes, WE ARE GOING TO SEE PROG.”

He lifted me by my hips, his semi-soft cock slipping out of me, then shifted me sideways so he could pick me up as he rose off the couch. “Off to bed we go, my love.” He carried me into the bedroom and placed me gently on my preferred half of the mattress, then climbed in behind me. “I love you, Maude Hiddleston. Sleep now. I’ll be right here, watching over you. Over you both.”

And I slept. It was fitful, and there were dreams…bad ones…but each time I woke from one, he was there, one arm around my waist, one leg atop both my own…warm and alive, and in that I found peace. Whenever he stirred, and he did often, I’d press my body backward into him and pull his arm tighter around me, stroking it with my fingertips until he stilled again, hopefully having found a peace of his own. The dawn came and went, the alarm began its electronic bleating at 10 AM, and we staggered to the shower hand in hand…gripping loosely, as I was still hurting, though not as much as I thought I would be. By the time we’d finished washing each other, the excitement in the air around us was palpable. Though I was still anxious about the appointment with Dr. Bresden, this was it, the moment. I patted my belly as I was drying the underside of my boobs.

“Hi in there, Prog. Big day today. Mamma and Daddy get to see you. Feel free to wave and stuff, okay? We love you.” Tom gasped, and I turned to look at him. One hand was over his mouth, and his eyes shone with tears. I tilted my head. “What?”

“I don’t…have you…I don’t think I’ve heard you do that before.”

“I have…but maybe not out loud? I think…probably only in my head. Huh. I really don’t know…”

He knelt before me on the tile, first kissing then addressing my stomach. “Prog, you are indeed loved. We can’t wait to see you, and before you know it you’ll be our here in the world with us, and we can’t wait for that, either. To share our lives with you…you, Mamma and me…our little family.” As he stood he wiped away his tears with the back of his left hand, grinning at me. “So…Mamma, then?”

Shrugging, I shook my head back and forth several times. “What can I say? Looks like my New Orleans is showing. It just sounded…”

“Perfect. It sounds perfect, Mamma.” He said it with a drawl, and I sighed.

“Godammit, Tom. That’s not supposed to be sexy.”

His grin widened. “Why not? You’re sexy, so logically...”

“Shut up with your logic.”

“As you wish, my love. Breakfast here or on the road?”

“On the road. Make it a double.”

He embraced me. “We’re off to view a miracle. What a thing.”

“It is. It so is.”

[it4aweek]

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[epacer]

News

SDUSD plans to keep schools open Nov. 12, with optional mental health day, after parents resist initial idea

The San Diego Unified School District says it plans to make school attendance optional on Friday, Nov. 12, allowing anyone who wants to take a mental health day to do so.

The announcement the evening of Nov. 5 came a day after interim Superintendent Lamont Jackson said district staff planned to ask the school board at its meeting Tuesday, Nov. 9, to approve Nov. 12 as a day off for all. The news prompted a wave of concern and criticism from parents, some of whom said trying to find affordable last-minute child care would do more harm than good for their family’s mental health.

“We’ve heard from many families that appreciated the opportunity to focus on mental health and wellness. Others expressed concerns about their ability to find adequate child care solutions on such short notice,” Jackson wrote in an email to parents Nov. 5. “After careful consideration, we have decided to keep our classrooms open next Friday. All students will be welcome at school on Nov. 12.”

For those who choose to take it, the day off will create a four-day weekend, as schools are already closed for Veterans Day on Thursday, Nov. 11. Any students who take the day will have their absence marked as excused, Jackson stated.

San Diego Unified officials described the recommended day off as an acknowledgement of the stress families and teachers have been under as they navigate the return to in-person learning amid the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic.

“The last 20 months of the pandemic have challenged all of us in different ways,” Lamont wrote in the original announcement sent Nov. 4. “We have heard from many parents and students that their mental health has suffered. Staff has worked tirelessly to provide the best learning environment for all students while continuing to operate in the middle of a pandemic. That is why we have decided to take the extraordinary step of providing every family with additional recovery time next week.”

The original recommendation was to include finding “child care options for families who need support,” as well as making available a reduced version of the district’s school-day meal service.

But many parents balked at the notion of having to quickly change plans — and questioned the motivation behind the proposal.

“I trust you know that a great deal of the mental stress for parents and students during the pandemic has been the lack of in-person instruction,” Katie Kirby, a parent of a 6-year-old SDUSD student, wrote in a letter to the superintendent that she shared with The San Diego Union-Tribune. “To conclude that keeping kids out of school an additional day at this time to alleviate that stress is counterintuitive and nonsensical.

“If you want to assist us with our mental health, do everything you can to maintain a consistent in-person school schedule.”

Other parents took to social media to question the district’s stated reasons for the recommended day off.

One person posted what appeared to be an excerpt from a message from an SDUSD elementary school principal saying the biggest reason for the proposed day off was a districtwide staffing shortage caused by instructors calling out of work. The principal could not be reached for comment.

SDUSD’s updated announcement Nov. 5 did not address staff shortages.

Other people who posted about the issue on social media said unexpected days off, such as “snow days” for kids who live in cold climates, are a surprise treat that brings joy to students — a good thing for their mental health.

Kisha Borden, president of the San Diego Education Association teachers union, said returning to in-person learning has been a tough adjustment for both teachers and students.

“While we don’t have access to data on how many students or staff might be absent on the 12th, I do hear from educators and parents on a regular basis as to how challenging the beginning of this school year has been and how difficult it has been to return to anything like normal after the stress of last school year,” Borden said. *Reposted article from the La Jolla Light by Morgan Cook, November 6, 2021

[daniellesims]

Medical Pharmacy Role in Modern Health Care System

The health system is being affected by several factors such as increased life expectancy and chronicity. The growth of multipath logical and polymedicated patients already accounts for 80 percent of healthcare spending. This new reality forces the system to adapt and ensure proper management and care of patients.

According to a population survey conducted in May 2019, 96% of the Estonian population believes that a pharmacist should be based primarily on the patient's needs. 77% of respondents want pharmacies to be independent of the business interests of wholesalers in their activities (McKinsey Global Publishing, The Recovery Will Be Digital)

Pharmacies play a significant role in the healthcare system, especially during the current pandemic. They are very important to fulfill the needs of patients across the globe. Coronavirus has increased the number of pharmacies as medicine demand drastically increases from 2020. It is estimated that there is a 70% increase in the market for medicine across the globe, especially respiratory system medicines and vaccinations (The Pandemic & the Pharmaceutical World, 2020) 

In this article, we have discussed five significant roles of medical pharmacy in the modern health care system 

 1- Health Promotion

Health education and disease prevention are vital features of pharmaceutical care and allow educating the patient and reduce potential risk factors. In chronic diseases such as epilepsy, diabetes, or hypertension, pharmaceutical advice is of vital importance to address the doubts that arise in the patient's day-to-day life beyond the problems related to medication.

The training necessary for this requires time, but it can mean a substantial improvement in adherence, compliance with pharmacological treatments, reduction of associated problems, and even reduction of future hospital readmissions. Many medical centers in San Diego provide pharmaceutical training to train workers. 

 2- New Technologies & Professional Services

One of the most necessary steps to integrate the pharmacist into the health system and offer care value is through coordination with the doctor that allows monitoring of the patient. This is one of the areas of pharmacy in which new technologies will play a vital role in the future: 

The pharmacist's access to an electronic and shared medical record

Always respecting data protection

Would allow the needs of the patient to be detected and shared information with other agents

Reducing the number of dispensations

From here, the possibilities include synchronizing the patient's medication with automatic notifications, and having tools that allow online communication between pharmacist and patient. 

 3- Providing Medicines To Remote Areas

The role of pharmacies is to provide medicines to remote areas with no medical facilities, and people die because of diseases such as cancer, respiratory infection, epilepsy, and diabetes. 

There is no awareness about breast cancer, and women suffer from other disorders in such areas because of a lack of knowledge. Pharmacies provide an understanding of such diseases and provide medicines and vaccines to save people's lives. 

In remote areas, people face difficulties due to the unavailability of medicines and facilities. When a pharmacy is not available, nearby many patients lose their life due to the unavailability of medication due to many reasons such as extreme weather, lack of transportation, or patients being too sick to travel the long distance to the nearest pharmacy.

 4- Awareness Of Rare Diseases 

People are still not aware of some of the diseases and physiological disorders that take many lives. Building awareness of rare diseases is so important because 1 in 20 people will live with a rare disease at some point in their life. Despite this, there is no cure for the majority of rare diseases, and many go undiagnosed. 

Rare disease day celebrated across the globe by pharmaceutical companies improves knowledge among the general public of rare diseases while encouraging researchers and decision-makers to address the needs of those living with rare diseases.   

 5- Equal Distribution Of Medicines 

It is the pharmacy's job to ensure that there should be equal distribution of medicines in all the areas of state or country. There is an unequal distribution of medication in some countries, and medicines are not supplied to remote locations, creating problems for people. 

The role of pharmacies is to ensure that there should be equal distribution of medicines. If there is any such case in which unequal drugs are distributed among people, then serious legal actions should be taken against such pharmaceutical stores.   

Hope this article is helpful for you to know the role of medical pharmacies in the modern healthcare system. 

[it4aweek]

IT Training services in San Diego. Grow your IT skills in San Diego with our comprehensive IT training services! Phone: 858-324-2820  support@it4aweek.com

[orbemnews]

The Gig Economy Dipped Again in the Fall. But How Bad Was It? In a year turned upside down by the pandemic, Roberto Moreno’s experience as a ride-hailing driver in San Diego reflected the fortunes of the companies for which he drove. In March, more worried about getting sick than losing money, he stopped picking up passengers. In June, as the pandemic receded in California, he went back on the road. But as the coronavirus case numbers started climbing again, he shut it down once more. This week, Lyft and Uber, the biggest ride-hailing companies, will announce their financial results for last year, and they are expected to look a lot like the roller coaster experienced by Mr. Moreno. Investors are also expected to be keenly focused on signs of improvement this year, and whether Uber and Lyft — which held two of the highest-profile initial public offerings in recent years — will be an indicator for the rest of the travel industry. And they’re looking to Airbnb, which is expected to report its earnings in the coming weeks, for hints at consumer spending patterns. “Ride sharing is in the eye of the storm,” said Daniel Ives, managing director of equity research at Wedbush Securities. “Even though it’s been better than expected, you still have travel down 50 to 60 percent with constant lockdowns across cities and states.” The picture of the second slump for the companies toward the end of last year is starting to become more clear. There is some good news: It was not believed to have been as bad as the first. People continued to travel despite lockdowns. In Uber’s case, an aggressive pursuit of the food delivery business paid off. But the second downturn was another setback to hopes that the companies, which have never turned a profit and have historically had annual losses in the billions of dollars, could become profitable this year. And drivers who stayed on the road said their earnings were down even as they had to pay more for safety equipment like masks and disinfectant. The companies declined to comment on the business impact of the pandemic, citing the quiet period before earnings. Investors and analysts believe the companies are poised for recovery once a vaccine becomes widely available, and their stock remained high on Friday. Uber finished the day at $58 and Lyft finished at $53 — up 175 percent and 150 percent from their lows last year. Uber’s rides, the core of its business, were down 80 percent in April, and about 53 percent in the third quarter of 2020, the most recent period for which it has released data. To stem its losses, Uber doubled down on its food delivery service, Uber Eats, and acquired a competing service, Postmates. In the third quarter of last year, Uber said its revenue from the food delivery business grew 125 percent. Last week, Uber also acquired Drizly, an alcohol delivery service, for $1.1 billion. Uber also cut costs by dropping its money-losing businesses like its self-driving car unit, which aimed to develop fully autonomous vehicles but burned at least $400 million a year. Analysts now expect Uber’s fourth-quarter revenue will be down about 12 percent from the year before. Lyft, which had avoided expansion into food delivery, did not have a big delivery business to fall back on, though it said it would test a small program, transporting some “essential” products like medical supplies and groceries. Lyft recently said rides were down 75 percent in April from the year before and about 50 percent in November. Updated  Feb. 8, 2021, 1:00 p.m. ET Analysts expect Lyft’s fourth-quarter revenue will be down about 44 percent from the year before. The company said in a December regulatory filing that it would lose less money than the $190 million to $200 million it had initially anticipated, predicting a loss of more than $185 million. Airbnb, another tech darling that went public in December, also experienced a second dip. In the final week of December, usually a time for holiday travel, Airbnb bookings were down 18 percent nationwide, according to Transparent, a vacation rental intelligence firm that tracks bookings on Airbnb and other services. An Airbnb spokesman declined to comment. Many drivers who left the ride-hailing apps in March have yet to return, worried about the risks of spending their days in cars with strangers. For those who have returned, work has been difficult. Gridwise, an earnings tracker service for gig workers, said driver earnings fell about 10 percent in November, a double-dip that was reminiscent of the 24-percent drop in earnings drivers saw in March, before recovering around the Christmas holiday. And drivers are spending more time sitting in their cars, waiting for the next ride, while riders cut back on tips, Gridwise said. But a spokesman for Lyft said that in several of the company’s top 10 markets, driver earnings have gone up. Because there are fewer drivers on the road during the pandemic, “those that are still driving are receiving a larger portion of the rides available and so are earning more while they’re driving,” said Eric Smith, the Lyft spokesman. Some drivers said they were being more selective about which rides they accepted, targeting high-value rides and declining short trips. Sometimes, that means looking for riders who were leaving illegal gatherings. “I seek out what I would consider super-spreader events,” said Ben Valdez, an Uber driver in Los Angeles. “A house party in the Hollywood Hills or remote areas of L.A. — we actively look for these because we can count on people paying top dollar to get out of there.” Mr. Valdez built a plastic partition in his car to separate the front and back seats. Despite the risk, Mr. Valdez said that driving is worthwhile if he is able to secure valuable rides. “I have a choice of living off my credit cards or going out there and risking myself for the money,” he said. Although Uber and Lyft provide some cleaning products and masks to drivers, Mr. Valdez, who spends between $40 and $60 a week on masks and sanitizing supplies, and other drivers who spoke to The New York Times said they don’t receive enough supplies and have to supplement what they get from Uber and Lyft with their own purchases. Uber said it distributed more than 21 million masks and sanitizers to over one million drivers and couriers in the United States and Canada and banned 3,726 riders for “repeated violations” of its policy that requires passengers to wear masks. Lyft said it provided more than half a million face masks, cleaning supplies and in-car partitions to drivers. Many gig workers have migrated to delivery services like DoorDash and Instacart, viewing them as safer options than carrying passengers in their vehicles. Mr. Moreno, who runs a WhatsApp group for Spanish-speaking drivers in the San Diego area, said many of the drivers in his group switched to food delivery as a safer choice. “You have more of a safety net from a delivery standpoint. Do you opt into more safety but less earnings, or do you take more risk and make more money because of that?” said Ryan Green, the chief executive of Gridwise. “It’s a tough choice that drivers have to make.” Source link Orbem News #Bad #Dipped #Economy #fall #Gig

[mma-west]

San Diego Safety & Loss Prevention

You know that preventing claims is the best way to lower costs. We will analyze your claims history, present policies and procedures including safety measures. From there, we will put together a strategy to repair and update your safety measures and provide employee education and training. After implementing the plan, we’ll monitor its progress and keep you informed of any needed adjustments, findings, and improvements. This is how you positively influence San Diego safety and loss prevention programs.

MMA can also help you create effective disaster and pandemic planning or disaster recovery plans. Often, a basic plan will be enough provided you have solid insurance and risk management programs in place.

All of this fits into your total risk management strategy. Risk prevention services support your insurance coverage by addressing the causes of risk at its roots. Some of the services we use to help prevent damaging insurance claims from occurring in the first place including safety consulting, on-site inspections, regulatory compliance, behavioral analysis, leadership training, onboarding, safety culture, and more.

Risk and loss can also emanate from digital and cyber resources and liability. Has your organization assessed your cyber risk and potential loss? What steps are you taking to protect your sensitive data? Asking the hard questions and identifying actionable improvements can make the difference between businesses that make it through challenging circumstances and those that simply fold.

We work closely with clients to make sure they get the appropriate value and return from their safety program. If your company needs a San Diego Safety & Loss Prevention Program that works, contact MMA to schedule a complimentary insurance consultation.

https://marshmma.net/san-diego-safety-loss-prevention/