#Dataspeaks

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I hope you know when I call durandal a girl or use feminine pronouns and word choices for him, I am not just babygirling him. I have a very real and true and textually supported bigender hc for that gay ass ai

[databuffer]

Ok but can Durandal's face screen run Doom?

Really funny thing to ask about a character from a macOS doom clone. But Nah, he can run uh [checks wikipedia] BugDom

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hihi! do you possibly have any recs for media with girl robots? (glados portal and elster signalis are about all ik and i need to broaden my horizons)

THE FALL PART 1!!! I adore ARID. That one is a short puzzle game where you play as an autonomous combat suit, who’s operator is unconscious and dying. So she’s taken complete control of the body, and jumping through hoops and breaking rules to get him medical attention. She’s a very interesting character. Theres also a part 2, which I enjoy but forgot to finish

Sea of Rust by Robert Cargill is another one with a girl robot protagonist. She’s a scavenger in a post apocalyptic, post robot uprising wasteland, trying to get parts to repair herself. Its very very good. Big fan.

Entropy Centre is a portal-like gimmick puzzle game, where your tool gun has an onboard ai assistant, named Astra. She’s kind of one note, and always chipper and upbeat, but she’s very cute and also gay

I Am Mother is a movie (on netflix iirc) about an ai raising the next generation of humanity after an apocalypse, and follows her relationship with her, and her daughter, until someone else shows up at their bunker, and proves to the daughter that Mother is wrong about the extinction of humanity, and the inhospitability of the surface. Pretty decent movie! I have a liiiittle bit of beef with it though because I think it has some unsubtle bad opinions about abortion and the obligation of motherhood.

Vast Horizon is a podcast I’m still in the process of listening to, but as of season 2, its really really good. Following a human waking up on an abandoned, damaged spaceship, with no one but the onboard ship ai to help her. And while the ship ai genuinely cares about her friend’s well being, she is limited by her failing systems, and the many rules imposed upon her.

Aaaaand I still havent played them but I feel obligated to nudge System Shock at you. Shodan is one of the legendary girl ais.

This is all I can think of currently, but I’ll rb this later if I think of more, but I’m trying to only include ones who spend a lot of time with the girl robot

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Fucked up in the crib looking up pictures of dogs with human eyes

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Another fun thing I do with customers - specifically parents of very small children who don’t know they’re alive yet - is directly imply I think the coffee is for the baby, not the parent. and lemme tell you, like 70% of parents eat that shit up. They immediately go along with the bit and start discussing it with their newborn child, while the baby just stares at us like 😮

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I think my favorite bit i do with customers is when white women are like ‘i dont know what to getttttt’ and i hit them with the ‘you should be bad~ 😈’

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I love when I try and interact with a really cute baby and they make it abundantly clear I have killed their energy and they hate my vibe

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Need to share this one hit ko i got hit with

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I completely flooded the back of house today and everyone failed to react like a human. The person who noticed tried to alert me by standing directly behind me, pointing at the floor, and going ‘water’. And when I turned and looked, all I could muster was ‘oh thats cool.’ Really calmly.

And then my manager darted for the mop bucket like CAN YOU TWO DO SOMETHJNG PLEASE STOP JUST WATCHING IT

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I’ve been captivated by his wounded animal swag, and tendency to react to well intentioned kindness with fearful aggression

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I can’t believe 1TB microsd cards are like a thing that exists, thats like crossing a line, thats alarmingly close to playing god, where the FUCK are they PUTTING it

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How do cats know they can do the boo boo wheel

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When I offer a bag to a customer they usually say like ‘if you have one, that would be great’ and I’m always struck by how bizarre of an offer it would be if I didn’t have one. Like.

“Do you want a bag?”

“Yes, if you have one, that would be great :)”

“I don’t. How does it feel to want :)”

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Please take my white ass to anor londo

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Computer please show me robots gay kiss. Please.

Please.

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Cut throat kitchen contestants are allergic to making normal meals, like. The prompt will be ‘scrambled eggs like mom used to make’ and without fail, at least one chef will be like ‘im making a deconstructed grilled salmon panini with a blackberry glaze dipping sauce, and a side of quinoa that evokes the concept of scalloped potatoes’ and the judge will be like ‘i can’t help but notice theres no eggs in this’ and the contestant is like 😟 like this is a fucking shock