#Date has exceeded 10 minutes i am becoming stressed

[mubal4]

Expectations

 This may be a blog entry that goes all over the place a bit 😊.  Realized something about expectations yesterday; well, I guess I should say that I had a moment of clarity about expectations yesterday, interestingly watching the Penn State football game against Ohio State.  Also had a moment of clarity on expectations on Friday night at the Penn State vs. Arizona State wrestling match.  Maybe I am learning more about setting, or not setting for that matter, expectations or it could be that my expectations are becoming more realistic.  That said, or I must don’t put sports on such a high pedestal any more 😊.  I do believe there are much to learn from sports in many different areas.  Sports taught me a tone growing up and many of those lessons still hold true for me today.  

 (See, going all over the place.)

On to the point!  Yesterday’s Penn State vs. Ohio State football game matched #2 OSU vs. #8 PSU. OSU has been playing lights out and they haven’t been challenged throughout the year.  PSU, although in my opinion, exceeding expectations this year, hadn’t been playing very well and recently lost to the #10 team in the country, Minnesota two weeks ago.  I know what some might be saying, “is this about college football, who cares?” Well, I do, and it is my blog and I do believe there are messages to share and lessons from everything we experience.  That said, PSU was 19.5-point underdog as the game started (this is for the betting folks out there, 😊) and the pundits, all of them, were picking PSU to get beat, badly.  We were hoping for a competitive game but our expectations (here it comes), were quite low and when OSU was up 21-0 early in the third quarter, those expectations were being met.  Up to this point, we (Robin and I) were laughing, enjoying the game, but more importantly, just grateful to be relaxing on the couch, Saturday morning, watching college football together.  We were calm and at ease throughout the game.  This is unlike me because I am usually screaming at the TV, coaches, refs, etc. especially in this type of game.  Again, I get it, it is college football, what is the big deal? Well, there isn’t a big deal, but I like college football and it is enjoyable to me.  Do I get a little “too passionate” with it? Sure, but that is part of the fun.  Do I cry myself to sleep when PSU loses? No, because, it is just a game. As the 3rd quarter continued, PSU began to climb its way back due to some good playing and capitalizing on some OSU mistakes.  As the 4th quarter came around, it was 21-17 OSU and PSU was driving for what would be the go-ahead score.  We were getting excited a bit then they threw an interception, OSU went down the field on their possession, and scored, and that put the game away.  PSU ended up losing by 11 points.  A loss is a loss but considering the build up and everything that was happening, for those that follow college football, it was a good lesson for PSU’s team leading toward the post season and potentially next year. For me, I noticed something about expectations for this, yes, college football, but also for life.  

 My expectation going into the game was that PSU was going to lose.  Sorry to be a downer but that was, in my opinion a reality and one that yes, isn’t the end of the world. 😊  However, that enabled me to not have stress, anxiety, and I think most importantly, let something that wasn’t a huge deal cause me stress.  Here comes the “big deal” part of it.  How often to we let unrealistic expectations about many things, build up in our mind?  When the events and circumstances around those unrealistic expectations aren’t lining up together, how often do we have stress, anxiety, maybe even fear and uncertainty? How do those moments feel? Then, when those unrealistic expectations aren’t meant, how do we feel after? Sad, unfulfilled, not happy, maybe even mad, angry, or depressed????  It could be football, a job, a relationship, a conversation with your child.  When we expect things to go a certain way and they don’t, we tend to be let down.  Is that the best way for us to navigate an already complicated and challenging journey?

 I’ve quoted this and put this out there a lot over the years, “trade expectations for appreciation.”  I do believe the first time I heard it was by Tony Robbins so credit to him.  😊  You can describe it as appreciate or gratitude; I believe both have a place here.  I mentioned how Robin and I were enjoying the game yesterday, just hanging on the couch on a Saturday morning watched football.  Good way to start a Saturday right vs. running around like we typically do during the week.  We were appreciating that time.  It was a similar experience I had with Alaina, our youngest on Friday.  Friday night, #1 Penn State & #5 Arizona State were wrestling here in AZ down in Tempe, about 30 minutes from where we live. As discussed before, wrestling is THE sport that played the biggest role in my life and having the opportunity to watch PSU come to AZ was certainly a treat. Being able to take Alaina was awesome too.  She is involved in sports and likes it and sharing the sport that I love with her and exposing her to the best in the country, talk about appreciation.  That match was terrific and the time with Alaina was so much fun.  She was asking questions about who will win, how good are the wrestlers, where are they ranked, and about the rules.  It was very cute, and I felt incredible joy to be able to share in this moment.  As expected, (see that word there) the wrestling was top notch and the matches, and over all competition was exciting as all hell.  ASU ended up upsetting the #1 team in the country and halted PSU’s 60 match unbeaten streak.  It was great to witness.  Don’t get me wrong, I love PSU wrestling and it has been awesome to see their journey over the last decade.  However, ASU wrestling has a warm spot in my heart too.  When we last lived in AZ I used to head down to matches.  This is back in 2003-2007 timeframe when they would get a few hundred folks out for a match.  I do remember, when the girls were just born, Alaina may have been 6 months old, Iowa came to town and they were #1 and they may have had 1,000 people there.  Friday night, they broke an attendance record with over 8,500 fans in attendance and they were electric.  I was disappointed a bit that PSU lost but was so happy for the ASU program and for the sport of wrestling, I believe it was a great thing.  As for expectations, yes, I did EXPECT to see great wrestling, which I did.  I did THINK, PSU would win but again, my expectation was realistic; to see great wrestling, enjoy my date night with my daughter, and enjoy an awesome match up. Those realistic expectations were met and exceed because of what transpired and, the crowd was awesome. It had been a while since I was at a college wrestling match, and, much longer since I wrestled in one 😊.  Things have certainly changed in the last 25 years but being able to experience that moment, with my daughter, not having unrealistic expectations, provided an enjoyable night.  

 So yes, this entry had a lot to do with sports and maybe that is most relatable to the audience here.  However, the lessons are transferable over to everything we do. Let go of expectations.  It is great to have desires, dreams, and “hope your team wins,” (that is a metaphor 😊) but let go of those unrealistic expectations and enjoy the experience as it unfolds.  Something I need to practice and get much, much better at 😊!!

 “Are you holding yourself ransom to your own future expectations?” - Lucas Jadin

[melvinfellerstuff]

Secrets to Creating and Having a Productive and Successful Day by Melvin Feller MA

Secrets to Creating and Having a Productive and Successful Day by Melvin Feller MA

 Melvin Feller understands that everyone wants to have a great day, especially at work.  According to him, everyone wants to go to work, get the job done and head for the horizon with a smile on your face.   Melvin Feller describes how easy it is to have a good day at work if you prepare in advance and keep a good running list of how to get through with the happiest day.

 Here are Melvin Feller’s ways to have a happier workday.

 1.   Eat breakfast - If you skip breakfast, you will not be at your best during the morning.   You will more likely gorge yourself at lunch and have a sleepy afternoon.   So eat something, anything (within reason) so you can ensure a smooth start.

 2.   Get plenty of sunshine - Sun in the morning signals the body and mind to wake up.   So instead of reaching for a big cup of Joe, put on your shoes and go outside.

 3.   Get Aerobic Exercise -   while you are getting your sunlight, use it as an excuse to get a good walk or jog in.   Exercise lowers stress, gets your blood moving and wakes you up.

4.   Avoid RSS, EMAIL or phone before 10 am.   RSS, email and phone demand immediate attention.   Whereas your goals and work for the day can easily be brushed to the side.   If you can avoid the urgent and unimportant until 10 or 10:30, you have a fighting chance at getting all of the important tasks done.

 5.   Think positive thoughts not negative - Seems simple, but many people never do it.   Instead of looking on the worst side, try to see the bright side.   Ask yourself “what is the advantage of this situation?”   “How am I benefitting from this?   What am I learning?”   These are all good questions that you can ask in all negative situations to turn them to the positive.

6.   Take breaks - If you push on one task for too long you your work starts to suffer.   It’s easy to become tired and frustrated.   Therefore, every 30 - 45 minutes, take 5.   Get up from your desk, stop what you are doing and get your mind off your work for a while.   You will find you will return with more ideas and renewed energy.

 7.   Go for a mid-day walk - again, I am harping on the exercise.   Getting a brisk walk in over lunch (even if for only 10 minutes) will get you to feeling better about your afternoon.   Where most others are sitting around digesting, you can be energizing.

8.   Avoid gossip - One drain on your day is gossip.   It may seem fun and exciting to learn some juicy tidbit about your officemate or boss.   However, good gossip is always negative talk.   Negative talk starts the pendulum swinging toward negativity.

 9.   List your top 5-7 objectives for the day and break the list down to three - It is good to get in the habit of making lists, it’s bad to make long lists.   If you have more than five items on your list, break it down to the top three things (you can always go back and edit in another task or two).   However, with a list of 20 things, how can you not be overwhelmed?   Three is a manageable, magical number.   Break your list down to three.   Anybody can do just three things right?

 10. Be slow to react to other people’s “urgent” requests.   When someone else asks you for help, to do a project or to meet some other urgent need, practice saying, “what’s your deadline on this?   Or when do you need this done?”   Then schedule that day.   Most people when asked one of those questions realize it is not as urgent and will set a future date.   That way, you can go back to working on one of your top three activities.

 Finally, it is so easy to leave the office, only to get home and start working again. In addition, even if you are not engaged in this pattern, it is very easy for work and stresses from the day to linger in your mind well beyond 5 p.m.

 To help reduce stress and provide closure on your day, Melvin Feller suggests developing a mental shut down of your day. Specifically, Melvin Feller recommends spending two to three minutes writing down what you have accomplished that day; feeling a sense of progress has been shown in research to be the most powerful motivator at work. Then spend two to three minutes planning the following day, which helps provide a sense of control, another great motivator, and mental closure. 

If you have a spare minute left, express gratitude for someone, in the form of an email or a text message. Gratitude has been shown repeatedly to be an effective mood elevator. 

Melvin Feller is known as “The Entrepreneur’s Mentor” because Melvin walks his talk. Melvin Feller has been there and done that and more importantly, Melvin Feller knows how to transfer the skill set for success.  This is main reason that he has been the sought after coach to hundreds of small business owners, entrepreneurs, Realtors, real estate investors and service professional internationally. Melvin Feller’s main talent is to show you how the step by step process to build and enjoy a successful 6-figure plus business while having a balanced life.  Melvin Feller maintains offices in Texas and Oklahoma.  

 Melvin Feller MA is in Texas and in Oklahoma. Melvin Feller founded Melvin Feller Business Group in the 1970s to help individuals and organizations achieve their specific Victory. Victory as defined by the individual or organization are achieving strategic objectives, exceeding goals, getting results or desired outcomes. He has extensive experience assisting businesses achieve top and bottom line results. He has broad practical experience creating WINNERS in many organizations and industries. He has hands-on experience in executive leadership, operations, logistics, sales, program management, organizational development, training, and customer service. He has coached teams to achieve results in strategic planning, business development, organizational design, sales, and customer response and business process improvement. He has prepared and presented many workshops nationally and internationally.