#Day by Day Armageddon | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mediocreshake08 · 3 months

Text

This was mostly made for @rabid-raccoontail but whoever wants to get into Mortal Kombat, this is your lucky day. So welcome everyone to the...

Also this is going to be my biggest post yet so if you like to read this is the place for you. If you can't picture the characters I name, look them up on google.

Also this contains heavy spoilers for the ENTIRE series.

So sorry for the wait, I hope you enjoy this

What is a Mortal Kombat?

To get a basic understanding of the series you got 3 canons to work with. You have the Midway games (Original Dev team), you have The NRS reboot (the canon most people are known with) and you got the The New Era ( the one that changed it all).

Classic games

The first game takes place on an Island owned by Shang Tsung, the final boss. The whole premise of why everyone is fighting on an island is because of the Mortal Kombat tournament, which happens every generation, and is a tournament mostly against Earthrealm and Outworld. Basically how it works, is if your realm wins 10 tournaments in a row, your realm gets fused with the winners (but also you can choose not to do that because fuck it). Outworld won 9 tournaments and with this one, one of the biggest villains of the franchise, Shao Kahn, fuses Earthrealm with Outworld and fucks up the entire human race. Our champions, Liu Kang a Shaolin monk, Johnny Cage the actor and Sonya Blade a Special Forces Commander, led by the thunder God Raiden won't let that shit slide. Oh also Kano is here and he's a proper Aussie, ye m8? Anyways, Liu Kang sweeps the floor with everyone, including a four armed hurdling mass of muscle named Goro, kicks Shang Tsungs ass and practically saves the Earth. Bonus fun fact, Scorpion kills Sub Zero because he thought he killed his family and clan and as revenge, he spit roasts him.

MK2 takes place some time after that with Shang looking a little sexier and asking the Earthrealmers to join a second MK tournament. If they don't oblige, they're gonna invade Earth (save that for a little later). Also Sub Zero is back, except not really the one who got killed by Scorpion was Bi-Han, and this is his younger brother, Kuai Liang. Getting back on topic we got some new characters like Jax, Sonya's partner from the Special Forces, Kuai Liang Sub Zero, Kung Lao who's the cooler Shaolin monk and also has a hat that's also a throwing weapon, Kitana, who is the main villains step daughter (sorta), Mileena, who's a test tube baby made by Shang Tsung for Shao Kahn, Reptile, who as you could guess is a lizard, and Barraka, who has Nosferatu's face (but also like, his species is tied to Mileena's creation because she's half Tarkatan. Anyways, some shit happens and Liu Kang beats the fuck out of Shao Kahn.

MK3, instead of being yet another tournament, Shao Kahn says FUCK IT and invades earth with the Outworld armies. Not only that, but the Lin Kuei (Sub Zero's clan) are being turned into cyborgs. All but one of them escaped, that one being Sub Zero. One cop survives New York, Johnny Cage gets killed by a centaur, there's a speedster with swords and fireballs coming out of his face, and boom, bang BING, we got some new characters. There's Stryker the Cop I talked about a few seconds ago, Kabal the speedster because the co-creator really wanted to make a psycho killer flash, Cyrax Sektor and Smoke who are the cyber Lin Kuei, Rain, who appears in like 5 games but only does something in 3 and isn't playable in one of the games he's in, Night Wolf who's a native American, Ermac who uses they/them and Sindel, the biggest bitch in the fucking seven seas. Oh also Bi-Han is back and he's edgy. He now goes by Noob Saibot, which if you read backwards is Tobias and Boon, the creators of Mortal Kombat. No time for that though because somehow Shao Kahn returned after being fisted, Johnny Cage gets brought back to life and Liu Kang kills Shao Kahn once more again, the end.

If that's not confusing enough, we aren't done yet because now we got

3D games

I'm not doing Mortal Kombat 4

Deadly Alliance starts with Shang Tsung and his boyfriend Quan Chi snapping Liu Kang's neck so he can't interrupt them in reawakening Onaga, the king of all scalies and one of the most powerful forces in the realms. And now Liu Kang is a zombie, Raiden kicks Shang and Quan's asses or at least tries. Also we're introduced to Kenshi Takahashi the blind swordsman with a magic sword, and sexy vampire pirate lady, Nitara, more on her later.

Deception takes place right after that, where Raiden is trying to fight the Deadly Alliance (who are literally just Shang and Quan), failing. Raiden dies, Quan Chi kills Shang Tsung which somehow awakens Onaga. Quan can't do piss and trying to fight him, somehow brings both Raiden and Shang Tsung back to life... Okay?? And then Raiden nukes himself and Onaga walks it off. Deceptions protagonist is a little shit called Shujinko, a student of Bo Rai Cho, the same man who trained Kung Lao and Liu Kang. He then gets encountered by Damashi, a glowy ball that tells him he has to help the Elder Gods by retrieving the Kamidogu (which are basically Jewelry that hold the fabric of the universe). And Shujinko, being the gullible idiot he is accepts. And from this point on, the game turns into you fixing everyone else's problems like finding Bo Rai Cho's sodding watch, getting water back from another realm, and beating the shit out of Wesley Snipes. Speaking of Blade we got other sick characters like Kira and Kobra, Black Dragon members and one of them is named after a martial art/movie, Havik who is a klerk of chaos, Hotaru the Policemun, Dairou who's an outlaw loose and runnin', and Li Mei, voiced by Kelly Hu in the latest game. After all that, you find all the Kamidogu, you defeat everyone + Scorpion is the final boss (don't ask me, I don't fuggin know why) and what's your reward? Realizing you've been deceived the whole game and not seeing a final battle between Onaga and Shujinko (even though Shujinko can definitely beat Onaga but fuck it).

Armageddon begins with this schmuck named Argus, an Edenian God who did it with a mortal woman Delia and they had two boys who had to be put in stalagmites because Argus knows the apocalypse is on its way. Thousands of years later, Daegon and Taven, the two brothers wake up. Daegon basically made the Red Dragon clan, named after Caro who's basically Taven's spirit animal and he helps bring about the apocalypse. Taven's character can be summed up to "Who are you? Who's that? Uuuuh..." But that's what I love about him. Anyways, Taven looks for his asshole brother, de-frosts a bad bitch and kicks everyone's ass. Which translates to what Armageddon really is. All the characters choose sides. We get one of the coolest fmv sequences in PS2 history and everyone dies trying to take Blaze's power. Blaze is a demigod-esque creation made by Argus to warn Taven and Daegon about the apocalypse, but also whoever kills him, gains his power and basically becomes the developer of the game. But because Taven is the main character, he has to kill everyone he encounters, a few of those people being one's he was proud to call friends. He climbs to the top, kills Daegon, destroys Blaze and saves the universe, the end.

Yeah I lied lol

Netherrealm Era

After Armageddon, Midway shut down, Warner Brothers bought Mortal Kombat and Netherrealm studios took over the franchise and this is where it all went downhill.

Mortal Kombat 9 starts with the end of the previous game. Except it doesn't, because Taven is somehow not here and Shao Kahn walked all the way back to kill him after being carried away by Onaga. Before Shao Kahn crushed him, Raiden sends a message to his past self saying only three things. "He Must Win.". We are now in the first Mortal Kombat except it's HD and Johnny is down bad for Sonya. Sonya is here just so she can find Jax who's lost on the island somewhere, Bi-Han is a bit of a prick and Shang Tsung is the only character in the game who has common sense. Liu Kang beats Shang Tsung, Jax gets his arms ripped off by Ermac, Johnny only gets to win if he has a suit and Mileena gets the most revieling outfit in fighting game history. Kitana and Liu Kang have an on and off thing, Reptile gets bullied (poor thang) and before Kuai Liang can kill Scorpion for killing his brother, he's taken away by the cyber Lin Kuei because Raiden saved Smoke from being cyberized and he says there's nothing he can do (that's bullshit but okay). Anyways, Kung Lao is doing pretty good in the tournament and then Shao Kahn snaps his neck. Feeling horrible by the death of his Shaolin brother, Liu Kang jumps in the arena and fists Shao Kahn. Sometime later, we learned that Shao Kahn survived because they put him in the Soul Chamber, a place in the Outworld arena that heals any and all wounds. He then gets the idea by Quan Chi to invade Earthrealm which completely goes against the laws of Mortal Kombat. And Shang Tsung knows and wants to stop them, but Shao Kahn doesn't fucking care and erased him from existance. they get guns from Kano, and they start blasting. Army can't do shit and somehow, a single cop (Stryker) is able to fight off A lizard man, a fire breathing cat and the only thing in Outworld that knows what pronouns are. Kabal was here too, but only for the first two fights. But he doesn't get his super speed here because he's just an average dude and maybe dating Stryker? I don't know. Anyways Kabal gets roasted by a big buff cat, taken to the Black Dragon and given a respiratory device by Kano that helps him breathe. He's basically Deadpool - the guns + super speed because the magic atmosphere of Outworld gave him that. Don't ask how anyone else got that after going to Outworld, idk🤷‍♀️. Anyways Quan Chi and Bitch-han bring back Sindel and mind control her to do their biding. Meanwhile, our heroes that consist of Johnny Cage, Sonya Blade, Jax Briggs, Night Wolf, Cyber Sub Zero, Smoke, Kitana, Stryker, Kabal, Kitana and Liu Kang sit and do nothing. The Bastard Sektor walks in and with his Cyber Lin Kuei to tire out the heroes until Sindel arrives, the worst scene in MK history plays because the purple bitch kills damn near everyone and kicks Smoke in the nads, and then Night Wolf, the most forgettable Mortal Kombat character kills Sindel by Hail Mary. Raiden looks for help of Quan Dale Dingle, but he instead of helping, brings everyone who died back as revenants, which are basically zombies but with memories of the ones who died and they are pretty strong. Raiden fights three at once, Kills Liu Kang because he fears Shao Kahn is going to kill him and with the power of the Elder Gods, Raiden goes super Saiyan and does a Kamehameha, killing Shao Kahn. Yeah all of that was one game.

Mortal Kombat X (or as dip shits would call it mk 10) starts with Johnny, Sonya and Kenshi fighting revenant Sub Zero (who's a human revenant because of MKX prequel comic nonsense don't worry about it), Smoke who isn't even playable, Sindel who's a bitch through and through and Jax, who in a minute turns back into a human because of unexplained reasons, but I guess by killing his revenant, Liu, Kitana and Lao who are some. it turns out they were going to the Jin Sei chamber (earthrealm's life force that is pure light) where Quan Chi and his boss, Shinnok exact their plan of taking over Earthrealm by putting Shinnok into the Jin Sei, corrupting it and turning him into a super Saiyan but he looks like a devil, so kind of like a ssj4 thing? Doesn't matter because Johnny learns he has God killing powers and uses them to punch Shinnok in the nuts. Raiden seals him and the rest of the game is now a 20 years time skip. And now we have the next gen of kombatants, called the Kombat Kids by the fans. You got Cassie Cage the mc, Jaqui Briggs, who's basically Jax 2.0, Kung Jin, Lao's cousing who fights with a bow and Takeda, who has whips, bombs and a fuckin lightsaber. Anyways other new characters you have are Kotal Kahn who took over the throne, Erron Black who is the Cowboy and D'vorah, a character that absolutely everyone hates because she kills Mileena, who had a civil war with Kotal for the throne. Also Scorpion, now Hanzo Hasashi kills Quan Chi after learning it was him who disguised himself as Bi-Han to kill the Shirai Ryu out of spite I guess? D'vorah betrays Kotal, Almost kills Johnny but does get wrecked by Cassie who does also have the same God killing powers as Johnny, and he uses them to punch Shinnok in the nuts. Raiden puts himself in the Jin Sei Chamber because Shinnok corrupted it. Raiden purifies the Jin Sei and everyone gets a happy ending. Except Shinnok, who gets decapitated by dark Raiden.

Mortal Kombat 11 is a flawed masterpiece, and that flaw is the multiverse bullshit. So basically, Shinnok's mom Kronika who's like the keeper of time, wants to kill the entire universe because it's not balanced (shut the fuck up, ya bitch). Anyways, we got Geras, who can never die because he's a fixed point in time but is mostly known for pounding ass in the next game, Kollector who is the IRS and I hate him, and Centrion who is Shinnok's sister. There's also he Frozen bad bitch from earlier and her name is Frost, who is like Sub Zero minus but she's cyberized like Sektor and Cyrax who are in this game but unplayable (WHY NETHERREALM!). Anyways while remaking the timeline, Kronika accidentally summoned past versions of Liu Kang, Kitana, Kung Lao, Jade (who was dead but I didn't give a shit to introduce her at the start) and also she has maybe done it with Kotal (LITTERALY oc x canon shit) ((Also Jade doesn't kill D'vorah when given the chance, the stupid bitch)), Jax and a past version of Erron Black, even though he's still alive??, and also Shao Kahn with the coolest design of all time. Also Barraka is back, because I forgot to mention the bug bitch killed him too. Anyways, now we're spending the game beating up but rarely killing beloved characters. The cyber Lin Kuei and Frost and old Jax invade their ship that they use to get to Kronika's keep. Young Liu Kang dies, but Raiden fuses with revenant Liu Kang and that turns Liu Kang into a fake Gogeta, aka Fire God Liu Kang (any of this starting to sound like fanfiction?). Anyways they make it to the island where Kronika's keep is and then, everyone but Liu Kang gets Thanos snapped. Liu kills all the leveled up revenants, Glasses Kronika and brings back Raiden to help him rewrite history.

JUST KIDDING RETCONNED FUCK YOOPUUUUU HAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAJ FUNNEE

uuuuuuugh alright I got two more story modes to do, holy fuck it's okay I can do this shit

The MK11 expansion, Aftermath, brings back Sheeva, who is now queen of the Shokan, the same species as Goro and Kintaro (the fire breathing cat from MK9), Night Wolf, Fujin the wind God and brother of Raiden, and Shanga langa ding dong. Fujin, Night Wolf and Shang were all locked away in a place beyond time until just now somehow (just roll with it okay? Okay). The plot of this story expansion is basically, Liu Kang wants to reset the universe, but he can't because he doesn't have Kronika's crown, which is needed to do the universe reset. So our boy Liu takes the two idiots and Shang into the past. I just now realized, Raiden is the only smart person in this game, because he knows Shang Tsung is planning something devious. Liu maybe knows but plays it off. They go back to previous points in the game to get the crown, revive Sindel who says she was mind controlled but later she says she's evil from the start (holy fuck I want to kill her and then myself). They get a boatsman, Kahron, to take them to the keep. In the process, D'vorah kills the poster boy of the franchise (Dominic I will fucking end your bloodline). Sindel gets Shao Kahn, heals his eyes that were sliced out by Kitana, they kill Liu and Lao, Shang reveals that he wants to reset the timeline (Fujin you stupid) , he Soul sucks Sindel and Shao Kahn, kills Kronika, but before he can do anything with Kronika's Hourglass, Liu Kang breaks in, kicks Shang Tsungs ass and reboots the series one more fucking time, which brings us to...

MORTAL 1 KOMBAT (or Mortal Kombat 1

This game starts with Shang Tsung being a failing snake oil salesman because he can barely survive. Then someone who looks like Kronika comes in and he makes this face

Best game of all time.

Anyway, we're introduced to Kung Lao and baby boy Raiden, who are farmers but also train Martial arts under the belt of Madame Bo, this universes version of Bo Rai Cho and she runs a kitchen, what more could you want with a grandma. Later, the Lin Kuei invade and we get the return of my boy Smoke who now has a Karambit and is voiced by Spiderman. He's Joined by Kuai Liang who is now Scorpion, and Bi-Han Sub Zero, the worst he's ever been i hate him. It's like they took his personality from Mortal Kombat 11 and slapped it over a poor man's imitation. Kung Lao kicks all three of their asses but only because they were pulling their punches. They join Liu who is basically Raiden now, and look for Johnny Cage, who's having a one-sided argument with his wife, and then she leaves and doesn't come back. Then, Kenshi breaks in, wanting Sento, the sword of his family which now lays on displayed on Johnny's wall. They fight, and Johnny beats him effortlessly. Johnny ties him to a chair and interrogates him until Liu Kang, along with Scorpion and Sub Zero walk in, which leads to one of the most iconic moments in the franchise

youtube

They want to untie Kenshi, but Johnny doesn't want that and thinks this is a prank, so he tries to play along but ends up being tossed into a million dollar statue, which triggers him and Johnny starts beating the shit out of Bitch-Han. Liu intervenes before Johnny can do his second fatality on him.they all go to the Wu Shi monk academy, where they train for the Great Tournament between Earthrealm and the realm of Outworld (that's LITTERALY what they call it, I'm not joking). Raiden beats them all using the one move he has, advance Cartwheel kick. Winning, Raiden is chosen to represent Earthrealm. And for winning, Liu Kang gives him a lightning amulet, which gives him lightning powers so he can fairly combat the Outworld fighters. Entering Outworld through a portal created by Liu, they are introduced by Kitana, Mileena and the palace guard, so-called the Umgadi, featuring two returning characters, one of which does nothing and the other was just a barrier. The one's i speak of are Khameleon and Tanya, the first canon lesbian in Mortal Kombat who has a thing going on with Mileena. Li Mei is back and... She's voiced by Kelly Hu. No wonder I forget she's in this game all the time. but along Li Mei, we have Shao Kahn, who is now degraded to General Shao, and his second in command, Reiko. I forgot to mention that Sindel is in this game and for the first time in the series, I don't mind her. She's a sweet, caring mother who is actually a mother to both Kitana and Mileena. Shao is now jobbing more than ever, from losing to a farmer, to being wrecked by queen. After winning the tournament, Liu Kang sends Kung Lao, Johnny and Kenshi to look for Shang Tsung, as it's word that he's somewhere in Outworld. The tremendous trio find a colony of Tarkatans, Outworlders infected by a disease called Tarkat, which deforms and debilitates. Shang Tsung is there and plans to harvest their marrow for a cure for Mileena, who as we find out, she has Tarkat. After a few fights, Kenshi pushes Johnny out of the way, as Mileena has gone feral, took some sais of the table, and stabs Kenshi's eyes out. As this happens Shao and tiny ass Goro walk in and take them to Shang Tsung's true lab, the Flesh Pits where Reptile works for him because Shang says he has his family captive. But as it's revealed, this isn't the case, as Shang already killed them many moons ago. This makes Reptile (aka Syzoth) have anger. They toxic gas the place and we get a Test Your Might to survive. They escape, but as they walk through the Living Forrest, they encounter Ashrah, a demon from the Netherrealm killing demons and almost killing our heroes. Also she says Demons funny. Like... DEE-MUNZ!

Anyways, she joins the party and they search for Quan Chi, who used to be dead, but is now an escaped cole miner and also black. The way Ashrah knows where Quan Chi is because she has a magic sword called the Kriss, and she uses it to purge evil from her soul, by killing other demons. We then find Quan Chi and his jobber squad consisting of Havik who is horribly lame in comparison to his older version and design from Deception, Sareena, Ashrah's so-so sister, Darius, aka Wesley Snipes' Blade with a dash of A-Train from the boys on the side, and the absolute dog shit tier downgrade of all time, Nitara is back, and nothing that made her cool is here. She isn't cool, her design is mid at best, her head looks like an onion, and the one thing that everyone hates about Nitara in this game, is that she's voiced by Megan Fox. Megan, Goddamn, Fox. Her performance is so goddamn awful that people actually prefer Rhonda Rousey's Sonya Blade from MK11. Anyways enough bitching, because Ashrah, with the help of a Reptile kameo beats the jobber squad, but just too late to stop Quan Chi from making a tornado of souls, which he uses to create Ermac, and then does this "who's mans is this" lookin' pose as he says kill them.

In between this and Ashrah vs Quan Chi and Ermac, Johnny thanks Kenshi for saving his life, and gives him Sento, which he uses to assist Ashrah in the clobbering of Quan Chi. Now they return to the streets of Outworld's capital, Sun Do to look for a way back home. They disguise themselves, run into the Umgadi, get away and now it's Li Mei's turn to shine.

I forgot everything that happens in her chapter.

The Lin Kuei infiltrate a palace where Shang Tsung is, but while they are terrible at being stealthy, they aren't in beating Shang and Quan. But In the process, Bi-Han admits he let his and Kuai's father die, just so he can be the Lin Kuei's grandmaster. Smoke waits outside and does nothing till Kuai Liang escapes. And when Bi-Han comes out and leaves a scar on Kuai's face, even then, Smoke does literally nothing. All the characters who had their own parts in the storyline + Mileena (as it's her time to shine). They head to the Fortress where Ermac almost rips off Bi-Han's arms, fight Ermac, but it turns out the soul of Mileena and Kitana's father, Jerrod is inside Ermac...

That came out wrong... Or did it?

Anyways, they break in, Kitana almost fools General Shao and Shang Tsung right before Shang Bang puts on a crown, that awakens the Dragon Kings army and a a fake Sindel kills the queen, but Jerrod, who is still in control of Ermac, takes her soul before it leaves her body, storing Sindel as a part of Mac n' cheese. They head all come to discover that it wasn't Kronika at the intro, but instead was Shang Tsung from another timeline where he won in MK11,

HOW

YOU

FELLOW

KIDS???!!!

Anyways, 11 Shang, who we will now call Titan Shang, has a plan to rewrite Liu Kang's timeline (the one everything else I just talked about in this entry takes place) and bring absolute fucking chaos with his team of evil time lords. Liu Kang, being the reasonable person he is, summons an army of good time lords and they all fight on the same pyramid that Armageddon's ending took place. For the first time in the entire series, you get to pick your own character for the finale. And based on the character you pick, you get a different variants of characters, most commonly fusions of already existing characters. Finally, you beat Shang and Quan, you get a thanks from Liu, and sent to Madame Bo's, where the Earthrealm heroes enjoy food and tea.

*HEAVY BREATHS*

So, that's the entirety of Mortal Kombat. Any questions?

48 notes · View notes

sshbpodcast · 4 months

Text

Character Spotlight: Keiko O’Brien

By Ames

Ring ring ring. Take your seats. The first period school bell just rang, and that means we’ve got to talk about Star Trek’s botanist-turned-school-marm: Keiko Ishikawa O’Brien. She’s another character that bridges both TNG and DS9, the former cementing her mostly in the role of Miles’s wife and the latter taking every opportunity to give her the week off. Keiko never really gets a fair shake on either show, which is a shame because she has so much potential. So A Star to Steer Her By is going to give her some time in the sun this week to see how she grows! Like a plant… because she’s a botanist… Moving on.

Amusingly, even though last week we joked that all of Garak’s moments should go on BOTH his Best and Worst Moments lists, it’s actually Keiko for whom we’re seeing the most simultaneously good and bad arguments! So grab your pruning shears and ring your school bell with us as you read on below and listen to us argue with Miles on the promenade on this week’s podcast episode (jump to 59:28), or else you’ll have to stay late for detention!

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best moments

Try to touch the cup Introduced halfway through The Next Generation, Keiko mostly seems to be around to support other characters. So in “Violations,” she’s there to help with the investigation into the mind-probing Ullians. She doesn’t do much, but she’s there. And we’ve got to admit that her scene remembering her childhood with her grandmother is rather sweet.

I would die to save the life of my child Keiko shows some badassery in “Power Play” when Miles is possessed by a being who seems to relish the idea of tormenting its host’s significant other, really twisting the knife and making things personal. Keiko bravely demands that the being let baby Molly go and even expresses she would rather die than let this thing survive. This all to the face of the man she loves!

So easy a child could do it I shit on “Rascals” a lot (and rightly so), but one thing it actually succeeds in is giving Keiko something to do. Even if it is the child form of Keiko, and not that great a child actor to boot. But she does get to help foil the Ferengi takeover of the ship, which somehow the adults on the ship are unable to do. So, uh, low bar but she and the other kid-crew leap over that sucker.

Children are the future By the time Miles and Keiko have moved over to Deep Space Nine, the little missus is looking for some way to contribute now that her botanying is basically on pause, and she leaps feet first into taking on the education of all the children on the station in “A Man Alone.” It’s a commendable endeavor since, even in the future, teaching is drastically underappreciated.

Separation of religion and station We also have to stand up and applaud Keiko for standing up to Vedek Winn in “In the Hands of the Prophets” when the Bajoran leader wants her to stop teaching the science of the wormhole and instead enforce their backwards religion. Keiko’s spot-on response “I don't teach Bajoran spiritual beliefs; that's your job” is the secular philosophy Star Trek is all about.

You know, that was a very ugly thing you just said We give Miles shit for his anti-Cardassian racism, so it’s refreshing to see Keiko do the same and call him in on his dog whistling in “Cardassians.” Miles tries to insinuate that Cardassians had gentleness bred out of them, and Keiko won’t hear it. She lets Rugal stay with them, she encourages him to play with Molly, and she even tries (and fails) to feed him like she would any kid.

It keeps him up all night! Keiko later foils the Kelleruns’ plan in “Armageddon Game” when she sees through their doctored recording of the harvester-deactivation team getting wiped out by some failsafe or other. The whole thing, of course, is a lie. Without Keiko insisting that the thing is a forgery because Miles wouldn’t be drinking coffee ends up saving the lives of Bashir and O’Brien.

We call it Voight-Kampff for short Viewers at home don’t even realize it until the end, but Keiko does a great job not rumbling the game for Miles’s replicant in “Whispers.” The twist at the end reveals that she’s been hiding from him that everyone on the station knows he’s not the real Miles, but she manages to keep him from fulfilling whatever his directive and treats him like the actual deal as much as she can.

I have no intention of testifying against my husband Even while cemented into the limiting role of “Miles’s wife,” Keiko gets some moments to shine. Ostensibly, she attends Miles’s trial in “Tribunal” just to be the face of the defendant’s family (and to give Miles the chance to blame domestic abuse if he wants), but Keiko never gives the corrupt judiciaries what they want, pushing back against their legal system the whole time.

Be the best damned botanist in the galaxy When Keiko is forced to close down the school when the Bajoran kiddos leave the station in “The House of Quark,” she’s back to where she started in the premiere. So it’s great to have her go back to her roots and agree to join the agrobiology expedition on Bajor rather than wallow in despair. Was it just to write her out of episodes? A little, but at least it’s in character.

Cheer him up a little This one probably belongs on Miles’s Worst Moments list, so let’s cover it now. Miles spends “Accession” moping that he can’t hang out with Bashir anymore now that Keiko’s back from her botany assignment, even though she never once gives him any indication he can’t still have fun. So she tricks him into going to play with his friend like setting up a toddler playdate.

You’re family now More on this in the Worst Moments section, but first let’s praise Keiko for how she treats Kira, who is surrogating Yoshi after the events of “Body Parts.” The O’Briens have Kira move in with them during the pregnancy, and Keiko is super progressive during “Looking for par’Mach in All the Wrong Places” about how Miles takes care of the Major. It’s sweet, right? Right…?

—

Worst moments

Runabout Bride I griped about this in both Data’s and Miles’s spotlight posts as well, but really Keiko is the one who started it! In her series debut “Data’s Day,” she continuously tries to call off her own wedding on the day. And even worse than that: she makes poor Data (of all people!) do it for her! The franchise really starts off this character as demonstrably unlikeable. But don’t worry, there’s more!

Plankton loaf du jour Chris put this on our Miles list as well, but it bears repeating. In “The Wounded,” immediately after their marriage, Keiko makes them breakfast of kelp buds, plankton loaf, and sea berries, which to my Western palette sounds awful. And then turns up her nose at Miles’s food culture. Did you two never eat together before this or did you go straight to the “I do”s with a stranger?

Is our marriage over? So Keiko and the kids outsmarting the Ferengi in “Rascals” made the good list, but the rest of her behavior while a child is just WEIRD. As a twelve-year-old, she tries to act like her relationship with Miles should remain the same. Excuse me? It’s one thing for him to be supportive of you in a crisis, but your life is entirely upended. Do not put this man in this position.

This garden transplant didn’t take Another element of the Keiko character that we brought up before in the Miles post comes when they transfer together to DS9 and Keiko effectively loses her job as botanist. How this wasn’t a conversation between the two of them is beyond me, as they spend all of “A Man Alone” publicly fighting at Quark’s and on the promenade about their terrible life choices.

School is now in session The writers strangely decide to make Keiko a school teacher in “A Man Alone” just to keep her character relevant to the new show. It’s a good thing for someone to do, as we mentioned in our Best Moments list, but frankly it feels like a disservice to her character, who already had a life before this. It just didn’t fit the Frontier Station™ setting, so Keiko gets a personality overwrite.

No more pencils, no more books Standing up to Vedek Winn in “In the Hands of the Prophets,” it turns out, is a terrible idea, as Keiko essentially stirs up racial tensions all across the station, resulting in most of the students pulling out of school, which ends up getting blown up. Coincidence? Oh definitely not. And shame on the writers for not giving Keiko another line after the destruction. Boo.

The best part of waking up… We’re still not sure what we think of the reveal that Miles does indeed drink coffee whenever the hell he pleases in “Armageddon Game,” as it negates the insight that Keiko had earlier brought to the episode (and to this blogpost!) when she saves the day. It feels like the writers are saying “nyah nyah!” because it turns out Keiko doesn’t know her husband as well as she thinks.

I don’t even want to sit at the same table with you More fighting in public with Miles. We loved Keiko getting back to her botany roots, but springing on her husband in “Fascination” that her survey expedition was going to take seven months longer than planned is an argument that should not have been happening at Quark’s in the Gratitude Festival. The writers made any excuse they could to not have her on the show!

So you wish Keiko was a man? Keiko is upset at Miles at the top of “Hippocratic Oath” for putting a workshop in the bedroom during one of the myriad times she’s away, and clearly there was another argument about it in which Keiko accuses him of living like a bachelor again. Bitch, you’re not even there 90% of the time. No wonder Miles admits to Julian he wishes she were more like a man.

I think she’s actually enjoying it, Miles We talked in both Kira’s and Miles’s posts about how ridiculous their B-plot was in “Looking for par’Mach in All the Wrong Places,” but Keiko is so naive that she keeps forcing them together by accident. What’s even worse: this whole surrogacy plot was a fabulous opportunity to have Keiko and Kira bond instead, as two women who rarely have scenes together. What a ripoff.

Where’re Baloo and Bagheera when you need them? I will never stop giving Miles and Keiko (and to some extent Odo!) grief about how they send feral Molly back into her cave in “Time’s Orphan.” How anyone can neglect their child this blatantly and then be rewarded for it by the episode’s intent is just terrible. Keiko doesn’t even resist the idea when Miles shares it, but is onboard immediately to give up on their child rather than get her actual help.

But the cat came back the very next day A smaller detail in “Time’s Orphan” hints at how Keiko doesn’t like Chester, the cat that O’Brien takes in after he absolutely gets Bilby killed in “Honor Among Thieves.” Keiko strongly insinuates that she’d be happy if Chester ran away, never to return, if they brought him on their picnic. How this woman cannot love this poor orphaned cat is beyond me and deserves some hate.

—

Aaaaand we’re all suspended for setting off stink bombs on the promenade. We’ll be back next week though to highlight Keiko’s arch nemesis. No, not Miles. Kai Winn Adami! Look forward to that, keep up with our trip through the Delphic Expance with us on our Enterprise watchalong on SoundCloud (and the other podcast places), pass notes in class to us on Facebook and Twitter, and no fighting on the promenade!

10 notes · View notes