#Did I include a Barbie song in my wav...Yes...Yes I did

[maladyinpink]

🔊TENDING THE BARTENDER ♥︎♤ Haz/bin Ho/tel Wav

AI PROJECTS WILL ALWAYS BE STRICTLY AI FREE

Thank you for your patience everyone, after the long wait. Here is the next wav in the series! (the eighth in listening order). I would have had it up yesterday, but I fell asleep on my keyboard 😬 Anywho...I hope all my fellow Husker/Dust fans enjoy! And SPECIAL THANKS to my beta readers @zensations35, @themiseryandcompany and @very-freakin-effable for cameo-ing and voicing my very Irish, disgruntled bar patron. Much love to you all.

Format is a little different this time, guys, bare with me ♡

TENDING THE BARTENDER: It's early spring in Pentagram City and one of Angel's rare days off from work. After a shopping spree and a lovely walk with a happy piggy, he returns to the Hotel bar to find Husk in an...itchy situation.

CW: Allergic Fittish Cat-like Sneezes, Loud Sneezes Come later, Adorable couple antics, And...a song...hehehe

TITLE CARD

Script is below, enjoy!

- Baci, Baci, Pink

(It's early spring in Pentagram City and one of ANGEL DUST's day rare days off from work. He's decided to spend part of the day shopping, with Fat Nuggets in tow on his leash. It's late afternoon/early evening and they've just made their way back up to the Hotel's front gates and courtyard.)

ANGEL: Fat Nuggets!...Was that a good day?

C’mon sweetie!...C’mon...Do you have to sniff every tree?...EVERY fuckin’ tree?...Wanna pee on the bush? Alright, pee on the bush (he sighs as Nuggets rustles through the bush and does his business) Alright…C'mon ya little bastard, I got dinner duty  tonight!…Yeah, c’mon… G-Good boy…Yeah, you're so goo-…Oof, Hey! ‘Scuse me, asshole!

(A bar patron has stormed out of the lobby into the courtyard and nearly runs into the pair.)

PATRON: Bloody abysmal! Can't get one lousy drink…What a fuckin' schmuck!

(ANGEL winces as the patron storms away and realizes that something must have happened) 

ANGEL: ...Yeesh, that don' sound good…C'mon, Nuggs…Let's go see 'Papa' the bar.

(ANGEL opens the door and enters back into the lobby with Nuggs.

HUSK: (mutters angrily to himself) The fuck do I care? Make y'own drink...Ain't in the mood f'jack shit!...Come to m’bar and fuckin’ yell…

 ANGEL: …Hon?

HUSK: ( growls, startled, his ears pin down, sputters uncharacteristically)…Angel?…m’Sorry, …y'know I'd-…I jus’...Uh… shit.

(ANGEL can tell by now when his man is going through something and knows the old defense mechanism like an old friend by this point. He doesn't take it personally.)

ANGEL: (tender) Hey…S'okay…We was just out shoppin' an' we was just checkin' on you…Someone got a new sweater an' wanted to say Hi to Papa. Say Hi to Papa!…

(ANGEL giggles and waves Nugget's little hoof and Nuggets gives a happy little oink.)

HUSK: (grumpily, deadpans)…Hi, Pig.

ANGEL: (fat-nuggets/baby voice, then falls out of it.) Heyo, Papa?...Is you angy?...Is you, havin' a bad day?... Did somebody go an' piss in y'flask?...Like uh, seriously who are we killin' tonight, honey? 

HUSK: (sighs) Nah, it ain't like that…don' worry 'bout it…Jus’ another shit day…

(HUSK sniffs)

ANGEL: Husk?…Have you been cryin’?

(HUSK looks up at ANGEL like he’s grown two heads)

HUSK: …M’fine.

ANGEL: (gestures at the tissue box, jokes) Well, don't tell me are for jerkin’ off behind the bar?…

(this earns him a growl)

ANGEL: (catches himself)…Sorry, I know…not in the mood.

HUSK: (reiterates)…M'fine…hhh..Heht’kmtch’choo!...Hitschtt’schoo!...Htschh’Schuhh!

(HUSK writes in his notepad, rustles through his stock and counts, hitches and stifles a few sneezes, these ones quieter than his usually loud sneezes, Angel casually acknowledges and blesses the first one, until he keeps going, a bit fittishly, like a stressed cat, Husk rubs at the bridge of his muzzle and sniffles.)

ANGEL: (sympathetic) Uh-oh, Bless you!...Aw, Papa's sneezin'...You don't...got a cold now, do ya?-" 

HUSK: (he clears his throat, tries to gain his bearings, his tone is firm) No…Nahh…ehht'khtxhh! Tchscht’shhuhh!

ANGEL: …Ain't nothin' if ya was…We took care a eachother last time, remember?

HUSK: (he starts to warn)...This ain't like last time…Ehht’chhu!...Tsht’iihhh!...

ANGEL: (undeterred) Well yeah, for starters, why're ya pinchin' y'muzzle like that? That sounds like it hurts…(hears another big stifle) Aww, y'wings are shakin'.

HUSK: (shakily) I'm Fihhne!...eTtschhht'tdiiew!

ANGEL: …Bless you!…That don't sound fine.

HUSK: (Bites) Christ! Ange, I don't have a cold! I'm fuckin' doin' fine...Now leave me be...'fore I bite ya head off.

ANGEL: (Bites back, mutters) Alright y'big bully, I'll leave y'be…Jesus, thought we were past this…You ain't gonna push me away like 'at. Heaven forbid, I should worry about my man, an' wanna take care a' his sorry ass.

HUSK: (softens, sighs tiredly, closes off.) …M'sorry, Sweetheart…Don' worry bout me, you-...Look, it's ya day off…jus' focus on you.

ANGEL: (scoffs, petty)...Really?….Tch, well then, if you'll excuse me...I, Angel Dust...am gonna make MYSELF...a cuppa tea...with honey…and a lil' liquid courage…I don't suppose you want any...Fat Nuggets? It's so chilly outside, ain't it little man?...

(HUSK mutters to himself and scratches and lets out another rough cat-like sneeze, as ANGEL is talking to Fat Nuggets and goes to the kitchen about stupid feathers and how itchy he is blowing his muzzle into his last tissue, sadly sighing. He continues to take inventory, and scrubs and sniffles his snout. ANGEL comes out of the kitchen humming with two mugs filled with tea and some clinking spoons in each one.)

ANGEL: There we go, one for me, and one for my boy, now where is-…Ah, there it is! Good ol' Jacky D!…You know what, Nuggs?...There's some real drama queens 'round here.

(He unscrews the top off the whiskey bottle and pours in a splash into each mug)

 HUSK: Hm, Drama queen is right…

ANGEL: …An' you know...Nuggs…Some of them folks is real stubborn...an' forget that they deserves a bit of TLC too from time to time…

(ANGEL stirs each mug. Nuggets silently watches and blinks.) 

ANGEL: Yeah, I know, right?...But, Che Cazzo! What can ya do...when you love 'em?" 

 S'why you gotta keep remindin' them that ya there, ready to love em, an' take care a' them, even when they're bein' all grumpy and stubborn...

HUSK: Tschtt!...Tsscht’iew!...Heh’EhK'eww!...HAHK’HOO!...HRRRT’SHEW!

(As HUSK sneezes and the fit gets harsher, his wings flap and flutter, shedding a bunch of red and black feathers. His tail flicks up and comically kinks up at each big sneeze.)

ANGEL: (gently) Salute…Salute…Salute, baby. Here.

(He slides 'Nuggets' tea mug directly in front of his partner. HUSK holds a claw under his nose and sniffs, embarrassed.)

HUSK: (quietly behind his paw, but very grateful) …Uh...Much obliged Ange.

ANGEL: (knowing, tender, huffs a slight smug laugh)…Y'welcome.

HUSK: (as if admitting)…I know you care...You know, I-…I still ain't used to that shit.

ANGEL: Well, I ain't usually playin' nurse either. But that's what partners do, right? …We take care'a each other at our shit lowest. 

HUSK: (chuckles) You ain't exactly Florence Nightingale, Sweetheart.

ANGEL: Maybe not, but I'd look damn fine in her corset, Eh?...Y'want a hanky?...Give y'poor schnozz a hoot…

(HUSK takes Angel's offered handkerchief and sniffles, his wings flutter out and we hear some scratching and he lets out another big AHT'SHEW!.)

ANGEL: There y'go! (he mimics his gruff boyfriend's loud sneeze lovingly) Achoo!…Now tell Nurse Angel what's gotcha all ruffled up.

(HUSK finally lets out a huge loud allergic fit that he’s clearly been holding back. This one sounds like the sneezes that ANGEL has grown used to.)

HUSK: (muffled) HEHGH’SHUHhhh…ERRTTSH’SHUHhhh…ERRTTSH’ScHhOOooo…

ANGEL: Bless you…Bless you…After you finish…doin’ THAT.

HUSK: (muffled)…AHRttsch’HOO…HEHck’SHMMmm!

ANGEL: (sympathetic, tuts, worried) Babycakes, I ain’t ever heard y’sound like this…Y’sure y’okay?

HUSK: …ACK’TCHHOoo! (he blows his muzzle and groans, then breathes through his teeth) …God…S'Embarassin'...Y'won't laugh?

ANGEL: Cross my heart…s'just me, Husk.

(HUSK hesitates and growls in frustration, but knows Angel is being sincere, and slowly manages to let out what's been bothering him.)

HUSK: Look, I ain't sick….I just- s'fuckin' spring, everythin' is fuckin' bloomin' an' Ihhh...I'm- HEHGH'SHOOooo!…m'hhhh?....hhh…Moltin'...an'...ahhhn' it's!-...EhhTSH’HOOoo!…(sighs) fuckin' itchy…M'like a goddamn feather duster...ERSTCH’SHOO!

ANGEL: (snorts, this is VERY adorable)…D'Awww, honey!

HUSK: (pleading)…Sweetheart

(ANGEL composes himself, he made a promise, no matter how adorable he thinks this is. He is also very sympathetic and empathetic to this…as he knows the feeling.)

ANGEL: Ahem, sorry…I ain't laughin' at cha…An' look, it ain't nothin' to be hidin' about, hon…I know s'uncomfortable as fuck…S'gotcha all stressed…Y-y'know I got allergies an' I molt too, comin' up real soon actually…an' all that skin and fur…it ain't pretty…I know how y'feel, m'sorry.

HUSK: ...Jus' shitty timing…I'd usually take care of it m'self…but ever since we lost that shipment, countin' inventory's been fucked up, ahhn' Alastor…hahhs…mhhe… AHSTCH'OOO!

ANGEL: (sweetly, gently) Bless you…Anything I can do?...Getcha a Belphadryl?

(HUSK just grunts noncommittally. His wall is still up, but ANGEL hasn't given up and just wants to help him feel better, pamper his man like a prince.)

ANGEL: I can do that!… S'my turn to make dinner…I'll cook my Nonna's Pesto Gnocchi, that you liked so much, hm?…How's about-…How's 'bout a massage?..Yeah?...Six hands, sound any good?

(HUSK’s ears perk a little…ANGEL sees that he's starting to break through HUSK's wall…a little. ANGEL gives HUSK'S temple a sweet kiss.)

ANGEL: (tries the waters) Okay…Hm…Y'know I've been around, with a lot a sinners, I know a thing or two about uh…preenin' an-

HUSK: (wall is back up, abrupt) No!...None a’that shit!

ANGEL: (sighs) …Okay…if y'sure...Honey, ain't no need for pride, but I understand…But..if I can do somethin' so y'ain't sufferin', you jus' tell me, okay?

I can see it when you're feelin’ low

You can't hide that from me!

You're no status quo calico

So why keep tryin’ to be?

'Cause you're more than that

You're my big bad cat

I wish you could see the you I see

Honey?…Well, I say

If you molt celebrate it

Brand new coat, serenade it

Gotta gloat over a cat like you

And if…

What you are is a strange you

Doesn't mean you should change you

Only means you should change your point of view

Hey feline

You are just fine

To thine ownself be true

Fur and Down's 

The cat's meow

It's how I know you're you

You can call me Pazzo gattara

Bid your woes sayonara

Trust your nose 'cause it knows the way to go

When you

Wave ya tail you're enchanting

Your a swell confidante babe

In all'a hell, Molto Belissimo!

There is not one hair on you

That I would rearrange

I love you the way you are

And that will never change

That will never change

ANGEL: …Hon?...Husk-

HUSK: (the wall crumbles, and he sniffles and sighs)…Brush an' a lil thing of oil in m'room…Jus' keep quiet…No fussin'.

ANGEL: (smiles, proud) Aye Aye, Cap'n!…Ey, Nuggsy, Take care a’Papa for a minute, kay?…Be back in a minute!

HUSK: …HEH'IRSCH'Sshooo!

ANGEL: (called back) Bless you, honey!

(Nuggets, sitting on the bartop, oinks and stares at HUSK as if to say his own little blessing.)

HUSK: …Whatchu gawkin' at, Porkchop?

(Nuggets…of course doesn't answer and just snorts. HUSK melts a little, sighs and chuckles. He pets Nuggets between his horns.)

HUSK: (a little tender)...A silly Ol' bastard?...Yeah?...C'mere…Good boy.

- E finito - Pink