#Drayton is my one true love and I would die for him

[horrorcringe]

ITS NORMAL, OKAY!? I'M A FUCKING NORMIE

[moronic-validity]

Slashers Ranked: Who Could I Fight

-Billy Lenz: 4/10. I would definitely lose. He seems like he'd be easy to lose hold of. Would definitely bite. It'd be fun until he chokes me to death.

-RZ Michael Myers: 0/10. Man is built like a brick shithouse, are you kidding me? I'd shove him, he'd flick me halfway across the globe.

-1978 Michael Myers: 6/10. I would lose, no bones about it, but God, it'd be a good fight. By good fight I mean it'd be a big and lethal game of tag. I would never face this man 1 v 1 intentionally (unless we were fuckin).

-Lester Sinclair: 0/10. Would not fight. He may as well be my brother.

- Bo Sinclair: 10/10. Would rock his shit. Then probably hook up with him. Duality of man.

- Vincent Sinclair: 4/10. I would never willingly fight him, but if I needed to, I'd rock his shit. I'd just like...rather not. He's v pretty.

-Jason Voorhees: -8/10. I'd never fight Jason and unlike with Lester, that just means I'd get my shit rocked and would die painfully. But hey, at least it's outside.

-Brahms Heelshire: 9/10. I'd rock his shit too. You think just cuz he's tall and handsome and British that I wouldn't?

-Thomas Hewitt: 0/10 I simply would not fight him. Sorry kids. That being said, I'd be perfectly content helping the family with anything they need, so hopefully that'd save my skin (literally)

- Pavi Largo: 7/10. I'd rock this pretty boy's shit then immediately be disemboweled by his brother or sister.

- Luigi Largo: 5/10. Have you ever seen two people with older sibling syndrome and anger issues get into a fight? Okay. Alright. Now give them each a knife. This is only a low ranked fight bc I have a big ass crush on Bill Moseley and would hate to hurt Luigi bc of it.

- Amber Sweet: -1/10. Most people would assume that fighting Amber looks like a bitch fight with scratching and hair pulling. Most people would be wrong, that's a fight with Pavi. Fighting with Amber looks like you shove her, she calls her body guards to fuck you up and they're rather good at their job. She doesn't have time to entertain petty little fights.

- Graverobber: 10/10. I'd totally get fucked up, but I'd love to get thrown around by him.

-Amanda Young: I'm gonna say 3/10 because she may throw me in a saw trap if I win or lose. Shit, the fight could be a saw trap.

- Leslie Vernon: 15/10. Please let me fight this fucker. Please. He seems similar to fighting Michael, but with slightly more humor to it and potentially less dying.

- Charlie Hewitt: 3/10. I'd shoot him and be done with it. Like no offense, but I kinda don't like him anyway... sorry

- Asa Emory: 4/10. Either I fuck up Asa to the point he can't hurt me, or I get thrown in a trunk and brought to the hotel. This sounds like a lose lose. Frankly speaking? I'd love to say I could take Asa in a fight, but in a true moment of knowing thyself, I will say that I would be a very pretty bug sculpture.

Bubba Sawyer: 0/10, would not fight. I just wouldn't. Not bc he's baby or whatever, I just like him too much. Also, he's fuckin stacked. He'd rock my shit in a heart beat.

Drayton Sawyer: Two scores. Old man Drayton? 5/10. I could rock his shit, but simply wouldn't. Young man Drayton? 12/10. I'd rock his shit then makeout with him while we're all bloody and bruised up. Why? idk. Give me one reason why not.

- Lawrence Oleander: 4/10. I'd win, but at what personal cost? I couldn't even kill him in game (I couldn't make myself do it). If I had to fight him? I'm fairly sure I'm faster and I'm fully willing to kick him in the shin and run. If he gets ahold of me? I may be fucked.

- Strade: 7/10. Two smartasses walk into a bar. One walks out, the other is being carried to an unmarked van by the first one. Yeah. Okay. So I'd totally die, that's first off. Second? I'd totally be internet famous by the end of it. I feel like Strade would use my correct pronouns as he's pulling my fingernails out for laughs.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Horror Villains: Who Should You Go To For Romantic Advice?

Haha, so basically, if a character is a man, or their name is Debbie Loomis, Jennifer Check or Jill Roberts on this list, the answer is no. That leaves Carrie, Luda Mae and Pam- and actually, even Pam would be treading on thin ice.

So, Luda Mae or Carrie. Those are your choices out of twenty eight.

So! @sadcowboy6969​ and I were talking about what would happen if someone went to Hoyt, Drayton, or Mayor Buckman for relationship advice and it was hilarious so here are the rest! I hope you chuckle.

~~~

Billy Loomis: Okayy, we’ll begin this with an immediate no, then… His credentials are just no good in this area…

Bubba Sawyer: Well… he’ll try! He’ll try his best for you!! But he’s never been in a relationship or seen one play out, or watched TV, or read an article… or, or… seen a picture, probably, of a happy couple… I mean, in all seriousness, he did try to court Stretch (And to any of us, that mostly was very sweet and he was lovely) but he was just kind of going on instinct there- he has no advice for you.

Carrie White: You’ll have to describe every detail for her so she can properly analyse the situation, and even then she doesn’t really want to be apart of this because she doesn’t want to mess up and this is kind of personal between you and the person/s. If you can actually manage to get advice out of her though, its surprisingly good! ^^

Chucky / Charles Lee Ray: Okay so I don’t know much about his and Tiffany’s relationship except what I’ve seen in some pictures, but that doesn’t really matter. He doesn’t care about your relationship, he will give you terrible advice and then laugh way too hard about it. Laugh his little doll body dead.

Chop Top Sawyer: Out of all the Sawyer boys… you’ve gone to Paul?? Out of the sane-ish one, the sweet one… and the one who eats chunks of his own head skin... you’ve picked option C?? Okay, but, really if you ask Chop Top for advice he’ll mostly say very unhelpful, vulgar, scary stuff… but in the middle, if you’re lucky (Like, a 3 blue moons in a row kind of lucky), he might blurt out something useful on accident, motor mouth that he is. 

Drayton Sawyer: Let’s look at his past work for a moment, ehem, *Opens folio*… ‘Sex is, well… nobody knows… But the saw, the saw is family! Its sex, or the saw’… So, what part of that was helpful? // Okay, if you wanna sit around listening to him go on and on about things that probably have nothing to do with your issue, then by all means ask him. If you catch him in a sober moment you might get something useful. If you’re willing to go through such pain. 

Debbie Loomis: Before her husband cheated on her and she abandoned her son because of it or after?

Freddy Krueger: Are you out of your mind?! (Part 1) Go somewhere else! Anywhere else!

Inkubus: Actually, I mean… he’s been around a while, so he probably has valuable knowledge for us all, but… whether he’s willing to divulge said knowledge to you is unlikely. The ass-butt.

Jason Voorhees: 

Jedidiah Sawyer: Even Jed knows you must be desperate if you’re coming to him. Will be unhelpful. 

Jennifer Check: Honestly, she probably has some good, albeit slightly vulgar and blunt, advice as long as it’s a girl you’re trying to hook, but if it’s a guy… you’ve made her hungry. Mmmmm, yum yum. Tasty boys.

Jill Roberts: Well it really depends on what kind of advice you want. Did you actually want to date this person??? Oh? Yes? Then this the wrong person to ask.

Luda Mae Hewitt: *She flings Hoyt out of her way on her way to you* // TEN OUTTA TEN, SHE’S BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT. SHE ALWAYS WANTED A DAUGHTER TO TALK TO ABOUT THIS STUFF WITH.

Mayor Buckman: I mean, he has kids, doesn’t he? That puts him higher on this list then most of the others but then again… no one in that town is telling that boy who fucks the sheep not to fuck the sheep. So, um… keep that in mind…

Michael Myers: This man is ROOD. If you ask him this and he’s in a bitchy mood, he will purposely give you bad advice, so your social and romantic life… die. But what, when referring to Michael, doesn’t die? You should have seen this coming. I have zero sympathies for you.

Mickey Altieri: Derek serenading Sydney in the cafeteria was almost definitely Mickey’s idea, in my opinion, so he may be one of your best shots. He doesn’t tend to kill romantic interests… ohhhhh wait, no, yes, he does. Scratch that. I’m getting real tired of these boys killing (Or trying to kill/being in kahoots with the killer) pretty girls who are just trying to be nice to them, damnit.

Midnight Man: Wh-wh-what is this romance? K-kissing??? No? I? Don’t? Comprehend??? Hold hands?? Not wanting someone to play game and die?????????????????????????????? // No, he probably knows, but he’s also probably game-romantic to the max. 

Pamela Voorhees: She’s a mostly sensible, mature woman, so you might have a shot? I mean, if Jason’s perfectly healthy, happy, is getting good grades, has made friends, is smiling, is within eyesight, punched a Nazi and hasn’t coughed in 6 months, you might have her full attention and you can ask her.

Patrick Bateman: He has cue cards.

Pennywise (OG): Probably tells you some Boomer joke about relationships and then laughs super hard for a long time until you just leave because of boredom and general creeped-out-ness.

Pennywise (New): He’ll give you advice, sure, in the form of INTERPRATIVE DANCE! He is the Dancing Clown, after all!

Roman Bridger: Well, Roman really wanted to direct a true romance movie, so maybe he’s got something? Let him talk about romance, please! I just want him to be happy. Onnnnn the other hand though, he’s kind of focused on his angst and his homicide plot against his half-sister.

Sheriff Hoyt / Charlie Hewitt: Are you out of your goddamn mind!?! (The second, more serious, instalment.)

Stu Macher: It depends on whether he likes you or not. He seemed like a lovely friend to Sydney before he tried to kill her (Although, a little dim), so maybe he would try to give you advice? Thinking he’s some lady-killer or something. But that advice may not be any good. I mean from the short glimpse into Stu’s love-life that we get, I don’t think he’s entirely credible.

The Man: He just sorta ‘pfft’s at you, because he’s rude like that.

Thomas Hewitt: Thomas is so lost when you try to explain to him. Just- just, go to Mama. She knows. Go.

[prophxtslash]

I was wondering if you could do more of your general hcs for Bubba (movie) and Brahams? They’re my two favorite and I love your hcs from earlier!!

Of course! Thank you so much for the ask and I'm glad you like my Headcanons! I hope you enjoy!

More General HC's

Bubba Sawyer

As expected, Bubba is a die-hard fan of country music, but more so of the classic nature. Some of his favorite artists include Dolly Parton and Johnny Cash

Bubba has a gigantic sweet tooth; this man would only eat desserts if he could. He is very fond of homemade apple pie with a nice cold glass of milk(yuck...) However he also likes vegetables, in particular, steamed broccoli and baked potatoes, heavy on the butter.

The calico cat I mentioned in my other post is lovingly named Sweetpea(most likely by Bubba's s/o aw) Despite Drayton being insistent on keeping her outside, she always manages her way inside, specifically, in Bubba's room, curled up on one of his pillows. Drayton gives up after a whopping 5 days of trying to keep her out.

Bubba is a true romantic at heart; he desperately craves having someone as his own to love and care for. Because of this, he is extremely vulnerable to one-sided love(on his side) in particular.

As for favorite movie genres, Bubba enjoys family-themed ones such as The Goonies, The Princess Bride or any of the Disney Classics(he is, however, very fond of Bambi.) As for those he doesn't like, he hates sad movies. After watching Marley & Me, he had been traumatized for life.

Brahms Heelshire

It's pretty obvious that Brahms has more 'dignified' music taste as he does enjoy classical/opera music. However, he does enjoy a occasional musical as well, the most notable being Les Miserables

Brahms has a very specific taste pallet: that being only fish sticks. This may be indulgent, but Brahms is very picky and the only food he'll eat without complaint are fish sticks. Don't even try to buy the vegan/tofu ones-he will know.

Brahms is a very silent individual that you never hear him coming, unless, he wants you to hear him. He is also for theatrics, and is quite the prankster. He really gets a kick out of the scaring the absolute shit out of people.

Brahms, understandably, isn't quite sure of what he wants in terms of a relationship. Given that he had been living within walls for a lifetime, he doesn't quite understand how normal relationships are to work. Because of this, he often acts without cause, and changes moods like the flip of a coin.

Brahms, being the absolute drama queen that he is, lives for period dramas. He enjoys seeing fancy sets as well as exquisite costume designs, so movies like Bram Stoker's Dracula and The Book Thief are his go-to. Brahms cannot stand comedy, especially Adam Sandler.

[littlenightma]

I just read the one about the slashers confusing their s/o for a random victim and absolutely loved it. I wanted to ask, could I get the same premise but with Bubba, Chucky, and Freddy?

Note: Thank you, sweet Anon. Apparently, a lot of people really enjoyed them which really took me by surprise. I am glad you guys like what I write :)

Warnings: Mentions of blood and murder

Bubba:

• Bubba can tend to get a bit too excited and aggravated depending on how a situation goes.

• Unfortunately for his s/o, they happened to be around on a day where a victim happened to escape. His brothers went out to look for him while Bubba stayed back.

• He was kicking dirt and shaking his chainsaw in the air, huffing, and wailing. It just wasn’t fair. He almost had him!

• You would hear Bubba from the house and you became instantly worried. He didn’t like for you to be around him or his family during “play time” but he sounded pitiful as if he was hurt.

• Rubbing your hands on your apron from washing dishes, you went outside to see a small tornado of dirt and dust. They could see Bubba spinning around.

• They became worried but also relieved that he didn’t appear injured, however, he seemed upset so they decided to go and comfort him.

• Their clothes whipped around from the wind and your lungs became clogged with the air so you covered their mouth with their hands. Their eyes thrown shut with just a small slit to allow them to walk

• Bubba soon became tired, but he was still mad. He saw a small shadow behind him and without thinking, he assumed it was the victim trying to mess with him.

• Not today! He would not allow them to escape again. He would prove himself.

• He yelled loudly and spun around, his chainsaw roaring to life above his head. He swung down and stabbed them in their shoulder.

• They screamed but all that came out was a harsh cough. They fell on their side with a groan, not understanding why he was acting this way.

• “Bu-bb..b..a..” they spoke, but their words were hoarse and muffled. Too low for Bubba to hear or make out.

• Bubba gave another yell, swiping down once more and catching them in the leg. They screamed and feared that their time with the Sawyer family was up. They must have decided that they were going to be the next family meal.

• With one final cry, their vocal cords screeched out a painful

• “BUBBAAAA!!” Before their face buried itself in the red dirt, heartbeat slowing down from blood loss.

• Yes! He’d celebrate, hooping and hollering.

• His brothers would come back and he’d meet them eagerly, wanting to show them his good work, but he would stop dead in his tracks, chainsaw falling languidly in his hands.

• The boy from earlier was being dragged by his two brothers when be should have been laying just a few feet behind him. If he was with them, then who was…

• ?_?

• Bubba would freak the ever-loving fuck out and this is not an exaggeration.

• He’d cry and cry and cry until he couldn’t anymore and even then he’d still cry, begging for his family to help. His skill was using the chainsaw, not first-aid.

• “Shit, Bubba, you’ve really done fucked up this time.” Nubbins said, twiddling his fingers in stress because he was afraid that his favorite person would die.

• He’d be rocking himself in the corner of the living room as his older brother worked on you. It wasn’t the cleanest or the most precise work, but he did stop the bleeding and their heart rate increased to a steady pace.

• The family would use the bloodied water to flavor the dinner that night. His s/o wouldn’t mind as they knew it was their way of saying they are glad you are okay now.

• Bubba would sit next to their bed as you ate. He’d sometimes wipe their chin when they missed their mouth.

• “Bubba, I swear that I am fine. You scared me, but I know it was a mistake. We all make mistakes.”

• They would kiss his unmasked face to further prove their point.

• He’d solemnly nod, feeling a little better, and they would snuggle into his chest that night, finding comfort in Bubba’s soft body. His arms would be wrapped around them loosely, not wanting to hurt them any more than he had.

• Chop Top noticed Bubba’s untouched plate and elbowed his brother about it.

• “I don’t think Bubba is going to want to eat meat for a while.” Drayton said disappointingly, but he wouldn’t say much to Bubba. Not this time.

• It would be only half true. He’d eat meat, but he was staying far away from anything that contained anything of his s/o. He wouldn’t approve of dinner that night, but his s/o didn’t seem to mind so he relented. But he wouldn’t eat it. No, he wouldn’t eat it. He was the one who spilled their blood in the first place. Oh no, he wasn’t going to eat it. No, sir…

Freddy:

• This dream demon was having one hell of a time in someone’s dream turned nightmare.

• He’d have them running around scared and lost in his favorite nightmare scene. Rusted red pipes with hot steam blowing everywhere making the air humid and uncomfortable.

• “Come here, Little Piggy!” he’d cackle, blades stretching with anticipation.

• His s/o somehow was brought into the dream world once they fell asleep, however, Freddy was too preoccupied to feel their presence within his realm.

• They wandered around, seeking Freddy, calling out his name, but no one answered back. Until they heard his laughter in the distance. Oh, so he wanted to play, huh?

• They smiled and ran around the hallways, trying to sneak up on Freddy. While they did, Freddy’s target ran past you on the other side of the piping in the opposite direction of where they came from.

• Freddy heard to who he thought was his target’s footsteps and figured they had gotten turned around.

• His eyes glittered darkly and his gloves snapped excitedly. He waited around the corner and the moment he saw movement, he cackled, jumping in front of them.

• “Gotcha, Bitch!”

• Each blade entered the victim’s stomach at once. They screamed and Freddy instantly stepped back from shock.

• They fell to the ground with a thud that echoed throughout the hallways and Freddy’s ears.

• “Son of a bitch!”

• Flecks of glitter surrounded their unmoving body as Freddy tried to heal them with his powers, but the wound wasn’t healing and they would already be gone from sight.

• In the real world, their parents found them in bed with a stab wound they believed they inflicted upon themselves and took them straight to the hospital.

• They would be in intensive care for three weeks and able to go home at six weeks when the doctor’s and psychiatrist deemed them not suicidal, even with the unexplainable wound that appeared.

• During the stay at the ER, the doctors gave them medicine that made them sleep without dreams so Freddy had to watch from his place in the dream world until they could come home.

• “Why the fuck was you there in the first goddamn place!?” would be the first words said when his s/o appeared again.

• Curse after curse and a few from his s/o as well before it would eventually end with them in tears and Freddy telling them to fuck off and never to come back.

• He was secretly pissed off that he was unable to fix them himself due to not having enough souls and he deemed himself weak. He was mad at them for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. He was mad at his victim that got away, but most of all he was mad at himself.

• His s/o felt more hurt than what happened earlier. They left the dream world within a few pinches of their arm, leaving Freddy all alone.

• “Fuck this shit. Pathetic little human, I don’t need you anyways!” he threw his glove on the ground angrily, the blades clanking against the metal.

• Weeks would go by and not a word from either party. The s/o would take Hypnocil to keep from dreaming of Freddy. He was so evil and rude, it was inevitable that this was how their relationship would end.

• But they wouldn’t admit that they did miss him. Did he miss them too? Probably not, not him. He wouldn’t stoop that low for someone like them.

• One day they would be watching tv when a new caster flashed a post on screen. A young girl had been brutally murdered the night before with the words “It Should Have Been You” was sketched into their skin by some kind of blade.

• They would turn it off and go into their bedroom. They would notice a white tulip on their dresser with a note with god awful handwriting:

• Sorry for being a prick - Signed, The Man of your Dreams.

• That night they would decide that maybe, just maybe, they wouldn’t be taking the Hypnocil.

Chucky:

• He and Tiffany were on a spree and he told his s/o to stay home.

• “But, Chucky, I want to help you. You don’t need to rely on Tiffany all the time…”

• “Babe, please. It’s too dangerous and I need someone who knows what they are doing.”

• They would frown and Chucky would sigh, rubbing his hand on his head.

• “We’ll do something when I get home. Just the two of us,” he said, hoping that would make them feel better.

• “Okay…”

• They’d watch Chucky and Tiffany leave in the van and as they rode away, Tiffany blew them a kiss from the window, her doll face fading away in the distance.

• He doesn’t even like you anymore, slut

• They could be Chucky’s perfect partner. They’d show him. They would be perfect together.

• They followed Chucky and Tiffany to a park where a group of young people were having a bonfire. Parking far enough away where Chuck and Tiff wouldn’t suspect a thing.

• They were stalking the group until one of them found Chucky sitting on the ground and another found Tiffany.

• Chucky and Tiffany had found the group’s stash of paintball guns and replaced the paint bullets with real ones and watched as the group started to kill themselves one by one.

• This is when the s/o would decide to make their move and sneak up behind the last remaining person, but when they were about to pounce, they felt something pierce their shoulder right on through and into the chest of the person in front of them

• “Oh my god, Chucky. A double whammy. How lucky are we. I didn’t even seen that one.” came Tiffany’s voice from behind you.

• “Why do they look familiar?” asked Tiffany after a moment.

• “Because they’re both in a puddle of guts and blood. We’ve seen this before, Tiff.”

• “Seriously, Chucky. The one who ran in front of our bullet has the same shirt that [S/O’s Name] was wearing when we left. Look,”

• Chucky’s s/o was in so much pain that they couldn’t speak and they listened on hoping Chucky would realize it was them.

• Chucky would step closer and see an earring that looked all too familiar. It was the same exact style he got his s/o for Christmas that he stole from a jewelry store.

• “No way…Tiff, get the van! Now!” Chucky barked as he knelt down and turned the body over and saw the eyes of his baby.

• “TIFFANY!”

• “I am going as fast as I can with four inch legs you bastard!”

• “Take your heels off!”

• “Fuck you!”

• The ride home was awful. It was bumpy and the van was filled with Tiffany and Chucky’s arguing back and forth. His s/o other would go in and out of consciousness.

• At home, they would be placed in bed and still they would be arguing. Eventually, his s/o would finally lose the battle with their head and fall into the abyss of sleep.

• Chucky is not known to show his feelings, especially if they are more on the tender/emotional side. He would become angry and distance himself to find all the first aid equipment and a doctor who he’ll threaten until they corporate.

• The doctor would be disposed of after since Chucky would be in no mood to show mercy, not while his s/o lay in bed on the verge of death.

• The doctor would stabilize his s/o and work on their shoulder. Chucky would not leave the room, eyeing the doctor with his knife showing in his pocket just enough so the good doctor could see.

• “I told you she would only get in your way,” Tiffany mumbled under her breath.

• Chucky’s eyes steeled, head swerving to meet Tiffany’s judgmental gaze. “Say that again and I will rip your head off your fucking body.”

• …

• “You really love them, don’t you, Chucky? You never acted this way when I got hurt.”

• “Don’t-“

• “I’m just saying. You act different around them. You really must love them. Just admit it, dumbass.”

• “…yeah, I do.”

• His s/o would be listening from the bed, a smile on their lips. They reached a hand and caught Chucky’s with their’s. “I love you, too.”