#E'nijah Suzume

[casualcatte]

[RP Journal] January 12, 2021

I’m not even sure I have the words for how wrongly everything went this evening. From the meeting with the Night Raid to whatever was going on with Siannault Tavard and Rae-Hann.

The meeting in and of itself wasn’t bad. I just felt like I was stepping out of my involvement right when they might need me most. I promised Rae-Hann, though.  I told him that once I was done with this last bit with Ollie I was well and truly done. I know he worries about me and I know he just wants to keep me safe. I was raised that you always keep your word to the people you care about most.  Rae-Hann has enough trouble with trusting people and letting them close without me breaching that trust when he extends it to me. 

My only saving grace is that I feel like I’m leaving V’hala Helsi in good hands. Between Tetsuro Wulf, Nan’to Vaadrage, V’ari Tia, Siannault, and Rae-Hann my presence and contributions seem superfluous really. What have I really accomplished since being involved? I played distraction for E’nijah Suzume during the warehouse investigation, learning little to nothing of value except for, perhaps, the presence of the Disgruntled Transient.  After that, I followed up with that transient, only to find out that Rae-Hann and Siannault had gone before me, not that I begrudge them getting involved. I simply wish they’d told me so we could coordinate our efforts. 

(Courtesy cut -- This is a LONG one folks, hang on to your seats!)

I’d gotten angry with them the night I found out, which should honestly surprise no one.  It’s well-known that I have a temper, but somehow I’m supposed to just plod along docile as a sheep and let people run roughshod over an operation and efforts that we’ve been painstakingly putting together for weeks without being informed until they were good and ready. And it’s not like /they/ could claim they didn’t know, I’ve kept them well-informed since all this started. So, yes, I got angry, I got belligerent. 

To top it all off, they did this not half-a-bell before we opened the Stars Rest Inn for our public tavern night. So, not only did I have to deal with that, I had to put on my best inn-keeper’s smile and go serve people for several hours on top of it with naught but that to dwell on!  

But that was weeks ago and I’d long since moved on from then.  I never heard from Siannault at all, except through Rae-Hann who was understandably worried that the man had become withdrawn, preoccupied, uncommunicative. Out of everyone in the whole world, I would have expected Siannault to talk to Rae-Hann, but for days, weeks afterward there was nothing with Rae-Hann seeming even more sick and worried each time I saw him.  And it rankled.

Rae-Hann has been part of my life since long before Edgard, long before the Twins, before the Night Raid, and before Siannault.  If anyone means the most to me, it’s that silly, grump-faced mystel from Norvrandt.  We’ve been through a lot together, overcome a lot of things together.  If he wasn’t so clearly into men, I might have fallen for him once, but I think I rather like being his friend and student with him instead. Our friendship has grown a lot over the past year or so -- but whatever happened tonight may ruin it irrevocably.

When I was young, I grew up in the Hunt. My world, my upbringing, was about survival. To that end, my mother was ruthless and hard when it came to my lessons and learning the ways of the world. “Tough love” my father called it, hard truths that needed to be heard in order for me to get better, to improve -- to survive. While I don’t believe I’m quite as ruthless as Maora, I do operate under the same principles of honesty, telling people hard truths, and really making them look at things.  For most, this works, but there are some on the rare occasion who simply can’t handle it.  Now, I know my truths are not absolute, they aren’t the be-all, end-all of anything.  At the end of the day, they’re purely my opinions, which people are more than free to throw out with the trash if they don’t agree with them.  If people ask me for my opinions or my help, though, I like to think they know me well enough to understand that.

So when Rae-Hann sat Siannault down in front of me, telling him “we” wanted to know what was going on with him, that “we” cared about him -- I thought that was Rae-Hann’s way of asking me to step in, to help him get to the root of whatever was going on.  After all, Siannault hadn’t responded to /him/ in any way, so what, really, would be the harm?  I watched, though, as Rae-Hann reached out to him, again and again, and that elezen just sat there barely replying to anything. The more it happened, the more agitated Rae-Hann became. I couldn’t take it anymore.

If Siannault wouldn’t react to Rae-Hann’s gentle, loving insistence, I thought for sure he’d respond to being provoked.  Questioned.  Insulted.  Something.  /Anything/ to show some kind of reaction that he gave a damn about us. About Rae.  Siannault went and puked in the sink.  Said nothing.  Did nothing, except heave what little contents of his stomach existed.

Rae-Hann eventually grew so frustrated that he lashed out at me, which I don’t really blame him.  If someone was taking Edgard to task in front of me, I’d probably have some choice words to say to them too.  Regardless how much it might have been deserved, no matter how much it might have just been a ruse to get Siannault to /react/ to something -- it still stung. Like I said, Rae-Hann has been by my side longer than anyone else, his opinions, his thoughts of me, carry more weight than most.

Everything always has to be about you, he’d said, as if everything I did had some selfish motive. I didn’t want to ruin your cozy, idyllic life at the inn with all the shite that goes on outside it.  I /know/ the world is chaos; I don’t need to be shielded from it.  I’d rather people be honest with me about the good and the bad in their lives rather than constantly hiding it until I find out about it anyway.  It happens eventually, so I really don’t see the point in perpetuating the fiction when the truth is just so much easier to face head-on.

It’s neither here nor there, though. Even by that point, Siannault had reacted to nothing but the kitchen sink, even pulling away from Rae-Hann when he asked after him.  The Starlight Gift I’d given to Siannault before all this started sat unopened on the counter.  Nothing.  Nothing.  And nothing some more.  I was doing more to upset Rae-Hann even further than I was to getting through to Siannault, so rather than do any further damage, I took my leave.

My steps took me down to a small beach alcove not far from the Rest.  I listened to the sounds of the sea and the night-song -- and wept.  I don’t cry often and it’s usually only when something goes on in my Found Family that’s so intensely hurtful that I can’t help it.  Rae-Hann saying those things cut deeply.   None can hurt us quite so well as those who are closest to us.

Was I selfish?  Did I truly make everything about me?  I started going through everything I’d said, done, or taken on over the past several moons, mentally combing through them with a fine-toothed comb.  Why was I helping V’hala?  Why was I helping Edgard?   Or Rae-Hann and Siannault?  It wasn’t for glory.  It wasn’t for fame.  It wasn’t even for gil.  Or even their gratitude.  I just wanted them all to be free of whatever plagued them.  Free, content, and happy -- as I was.  Letting go of my past, letting go of the Saurotaun, was one of the best decisions I’d ever made.  Once I let that go, things in my life suddenly snapped into place as if waiting for me to finally unload the ballast of my tragic history.  Was it selfish to want that for other people?  Especially when it’s the people I care about most?

All these thoughts were tumbling around in my head when Edgard Beaumont found me. Together, he and I had a long talk about everything that had gone on and we both agreed that sometimes -- there really is nothing you can do.  No matter how helpless we feel to look on and watch the people we care about suffer, sometimes it’s the only thing you /can/ do.  They have to be ready to take on the problem /themselves/ before they can ever really hope to let others help them, otherwise, we’re fighting a losing battle from the onset.

As we talked, we spoke of my own shortcomings when it came to being protected. He tried to make it clear to me that just because other people have traumas that make them want to be overprotective and overbearing doesn’t mean that they feel I’m incapable or inferior.  What other reason could anyone have for putting someone behind them like they’re weaker or more vulnerable?  Edgard explained it simply:  For love. 

“You know I'm not going to jump haphazardly in front of you at the slightest risk,” he’d said. “But I would risk my life for you without thinking twice, Aultena. I said it the day I told you my feelings, and I'll say it again. If something happened to you, it would shake me to the core."

It wasn’t about protecting /me/ from harm -- it was about protecting /themselves/ from pain.  It had nothing at all to do with me or my skill, but everything to do with the depth of their own feelings. Why had I never realized this before?  Surely, someone, somewhere had explained it in all the times I’ve fought with people about it.  Perhaps I wasn’t being receptive.  Perhaps I just plain wasn’t listening like I should have been.

I’m far from perfect and I’ve made a lion’s share of mistakes. I’ll probably make plenty more before my time in this world is done.   One thing I’ve always been good at, though, is owning up to my actions when I realize I’m in the wrong. 

Once Edgard and I parted ways, I returned to the Stars’ Rest only to find Rae-Hann and Siannault still there, still arguing from the sounds of it.  Yet, no sooner than I arrived, Rae-Hann announced that Siannault was leaving and the elezen did with a finality to it that said he wouldn’t be coming back.  As he made his way out the door, I tried to apologize, both to him and to Rae-Hann, but neither of them were having it.  Rae-Hann was too angry still and Siannault still too apathetic.  So nothing at all had changed from my presence or my absence.

My heart ached for Rae-Hann.  Things had been so right, so content over the Starlight holidays, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so happy -- which is honestly saying a lot for Rae after everything he’s been through.  If he blames me for what happened, I can hardly blame him.  He’ll need someone to blame; he’ll need someone to be angry with.  And that person will never be Siannault, even though this could have all been solved so easily if he’d just talked to Rae-Hann as he’d asked.  Pleaded.  Begged.

So I’m content to let it be me.  Our friendship may not survive this, but these are the sacrifices we make for family.  For the ones we love. 

[nightraid-hq]

✬NIGHTRAID <NRAID> IS RECRUITING!✬

“We take the jobs that others may not wish to take. We face the forces that others cannot face." 

✬ Server: Coeurl ✬ Leader: Tetsuro Wulf ✬ Officers: E'nijah Suzume, Nan'to Vaadrage ✬ FC Type: Medium-Heavy RP ✬ RP Intensity: ★★★★★ ✬ Active Times: Mostly EST/Evenings ✬ Alignment: Choatic Neutral ✬ Restrictions: 18+ to apply, OOC/IC Website: https://nightraid.carrd.co/ Bounty Call Board: https://nightraidbounties.carrd.co/ General Information About NRAID: NightRaid is a combat and story oriented Free Company established in the Far East, whilst primarily identified as an organization of bounty hunters and mercenaries, we employ a wide array of individuals that emerge from all walks of life seeking for work and home. The purpose of the company as well is for those looking to seek penance and start anew, while developing discipline and self-growth. NightRaid is no stranger to the nature and world of the supernatural, such as Yokai, be them on terms as foe or ally, a lot of the companies dealings associate with beings beyond our world.The company is not limited to bounty work, provided we also take most odd jobs and host events focused on entertainment gigs for extra cash! Events such as: Karaoke Night, Holiday Events, Hunting Trips, Host Clubs, Brawling, Parties, Mingles and Get Togethers, Storytelling, Games, Feasts, Tournaments, Meditation, etc. ✬ Our ranks aren't limited to hunters, we are looking for more Healers, Chefs, Guards, Smiths, Exorcists, etc!  ✬ READ WEBSITE FOR MORE INFORMATION ON OUR COMPANY!

[meilon-soda]

Commissioned by @a-little-sun their oc E'nijah Suzume, many thanks for trusting me with your oc and for commissioning me with this really cool character!!! It was a pleasure to paint him 🙏😊💙

[casualcatte]

[ RP Journal ] 11/01/2020

The beast is dead.

My only problem?  It’s the wrong beast. Or, perhaps, not necessarily the wrong beast, but an offspring of the beast that I seek. There’s a part of me that’s disappointed, the part of me that was looking forward to this life-long hunt finally coming to an end. There’s another part of me that is still glad that we killed it, given that it’s another monstrosity like its parent. No doubt it has terrorized Coerthas and the Dravanian Forelands and Twelve only knows how much farther it might range from its place in Dusk Vigil. It was so disturbing even the ghosts there were bothered by it. So, the ending is somewhat bittersweet.

It means that the /real/ Saurotaun is out there still and, given what we saw of her offspring, she’ll be bigger and badder than what we fought and that took just about everything the six of us had: me, Edgard Beaumont, Rae-Hann, Siannault Tavard, and the Twins, V’hala Helsi and V’ari Tia. Ari required major healing as I understand it, enough to make his sister worry about him dying. Siannault suffered some manner of injury. Edgard suffered aether sickness and injuries of his own. Rae-Hann is the only one of us that escaped unscathed, at least, insofar as I know. I don’t really know what that expenditure of aether costs him, so far from home.

While our plan was decent enough and accomplished the job, we’ll need a better idea than what we had to defeat the mother. It’s a daunting proposition. Like I discussed with Rae-Hann and V’hala tonight when they came to check on me, it’s stupid to expect my friends to just sit on the sidelines while I pursue this. They’ll come anyway, regardless of my wishes. A simultaneously endearing and aggravating trait. I love each of them like family and putting them in danger yet again is the last thing I want to do.

Once Rae-Hann left us, V’hala took that as an opportunity to try and explain to me the problem she has with this Fraun, Frond, Fonz… whatever his name is. This man that she’s pretty much an indentured servant to. She tried to warn me that the man was dangerous and somehow connected to the anti-dragon movement that Edgard’s former brother-in-law by Valentina. I assured her that people don’t tend to frighten me.  I’m a monster-hunter by trade.  I know what /real/ monsters look like. People just make vague attempts at it. She told me she had a plan to extricate herself from his control, but it would require someone willing to commit a few acts of underhandedness. I told her I would try and find someone that fit the bill, though no one immediately came to mind.

After Hala left, my first thought was to ask some of the folks over at the Night Raid. Knowing a few of them to be night owls like myself, I went over on the off-chance I might come across someone. Indeed, I did, none other than Nan’to Vaadrage himself. He seemed surprised to see me, which I suppose he had a right to. It’s rare that I go by the Night Raid office when it’s not a Bounty Call night -- something I should really remedy. I spoke with Nan’to briefly about my inquiry for a capable rogue and he seemed to get this mischievous look in his eye about the questionable legality of it all. He said that the Night Raid could possibly provide such a service as Hala needed, but that I would have to discuss the matter with Tetsuro Wulf. In a matter of minutes, Nan’to hashed it out via Tetsuro on his linkpearl, offering me an opening in the kitsune’s schedule a week from now, less a day, in the later evening. I told him I’d have to discuss it with Hala and get back to him.

With the matter dealt with for the time being, Nan’to invited me inside to have some juice since I looked pale and exhausted to him -- it’s fine, since I /felt/ pale and exhausted. Once we were settled in the lounge area I asked after his mode of dress.  Nan’to was in a suit and slacks tonight; I’ve never seen him in anything but Eastern clothing. It was a change, to say the least, not that he looked bad in them. He looked quite fine, honestly. He said he’d gone out to a fancy restaurant and wanted to look the part, I told him that he certainly did.  I don’t doubt that he turned a few heads while he was there.

As we chatted, E’nijah Suzume came in from whatever nocturnal activities he’d been up to and stopped in to say hello to us. I almost feel bad for Edgard, he always has to miss these moments when E’nijah relaxes just the tiniest bit and actually converses. Granted, I know Edgard usually doesn’t let anyone get a word in, but still -- he’ll be upset at another missed opportunity.

The conversation that I had with E’nijah was… both frightening and enlightening. Apparently, I’d done more damage to my aether in the fight against the baby Saurotaun than I realized. According to E’nijah there was aether within me that wasn’t mine, likely more of the excess aether I’d taken from the firmament when I killed the baby Saurotaun, like Rae-Hann had siphoned off from me. Some of it still lingered and was causing some manner of damage to my own aether that threatened to turn me into some creature from the void.

Gods, I’m glad that Edgard /wasn’t/ around to hear any of this. He’d likely be beside himself trying to find someone to help. As it stands, E’nijah and Nan’to both said that their own healers within the Night Raid would be able to help, specifically L’amp Tia and M’yhe Tia. I know both of them, not as well as I do Nan’to or some of the others, but I’ve enough familiarity with L’amp’s expertise as a healer and if E’nijah and Nan’to both recommend M’yhe without hesitation, then I have no reason not to trust him as well.

E’nijah advised finding some manner of potion or restorative to hold my aether stable until the healers can see to me. I plan to go see Raisan Arcmantle at the Shroudrose Teahouse tomorrow to try and discuss that particular matter with him.  With that decided, Nan’to gently insisted in his typically Nan’to way that I stay at the Night Raid HQ until he could be assured that I wasn’t going to turn into something foul. I have to admit, it’s kind of endearing how he and E’nijah both care in their own ways. I think that’s part of the reason that I never hesitate to come here.

That said, I’m settled into an inn room at the Carline Canopy as I write this, so I ought to get to bed so I can see Arcmantle on the morrow.  After that, it’s back to Shirogane and the watchful eye of Toto until I can get seen by the healers.

Right after I linkpearl Edgard and let him know that E’nijah wishes him well and hopes for his swift return.  Maybe not /exactly/ the words E’nijah used, but it will cheer my Ardiot up immensely. Tumblr Mentions @therpperson​ for Edgard Beaumont @yokasaris​ for Rae-Hann @tavard-ffxiv​ for Siannault Tavard @nightraid-hq​ for the Night Raid Bounty Call and various <NRAID>ers @tetsuro-wulf​ for Tetsuro Wulf @a-little-sun​ for E’nijah Suzume @tea-ffxiv​ for the Shroudrose Teahouse

[casualcatte]

[RP Journal] January 5th, 2021

Edgard Beaumont and I were finally able to have our friends over for dinner.  It’s been moons in planning it feels like, but we finally sat down to a wonderful meal of onigiri and ramen, courtesy of the Rest’s renown chef. Tetsuro Wulf, E’nijah Suzume, and Nan’to Vaadrage joined us as planned, which was just wonderful. E’nijah even ate, which is something I never see him do outside the Night Raid Headquarters.

These three, in particular from the Night Raid, are the ones I feel closest to.  Tetsuro is like an older brother, E’nijah and Nan’to, too, though I’m not altogether sure of their ages, so they might be younger than even I.  Tetsuro, I know is old as dirt, so I can say he’s a big brother figure with authority. I’d say he was a father figure, but he says entirely too racy of comments sometimes to feel very fatherly. 

We had a good time with them though, we ate, we drank, we made merry, and rang in the new year together in good companionship. I really couldn’t ask for better friends.

Speaking of friends, it seems that Valeria Camena has shown up on our doorstep, wounded by a gunshot she claims is by random thugs.  Given what I’ve heard from Rae-Hann, though, I’m disinclined to agree with that assessment. This attack seems targeted, specifically engineered to harm or infect Valeria with some manner of aether-consuming agent. Rae could swear that he saw Valeria’s aether affected by it when the attack happened initially, but when I inspected her myself the following day, there were no signs of any sort of affliction in her aether at all beyond an unusual density. There hasn’t been any more word on that front, though Rae plans to talk to Siannault Tavard about it soon.

Ace Gira was lurking in the inn once we finished with Valeria, he’s apparently in Kugane looking into some kidnappings that have occurred. According to him, it even involves some corrupt Sekaiseigumi officials, which is why these perpetrators haven’t been caught before now.  My largest concern with him, though, is this soulstone he insists on carrying around. By his own admission, it takes possession of his personality, even his actions, to the point that he can’t recall what goes on. I don’t believe for a second that these are acts of benevolence. There’s something inherently /wrong/ with that stone, but in typical male fashion, Ace refuses to listen.

After talking with Rae-Hann earlier, though, I plan to see Siannault soon, if for nothing more than to apologize. I know after our last encounter I’m not exactly his favorite person right now. I just wish he’d /stop/ treating me like I’m a child that needs protecting. Gods, I didn’t put up with that shite from Lorrendor, I’m hardly going to put up with it from someone else.

I swear by every god that most of the men older than me are content to treat me like I’m some little girl to pat on the head and send about her business. It’s like I haven’t spent the last twenty-some-odd years of my life as a huntress that lived and breathed within the shadow of the Hunt from the time she could walk. I’ve encountered the weird and the wonderful, the painful and the pleasurable, the light and the dark. I’m not some prim maiden that’s been cloistered behind mother’s skirts, gently reared, so that the biggest threat in her life is a pin-prick from her embroidery. For Twelves’ sake, give me /some/ credit, gentlemen! And yet these same men will turn right around and throw themselves headlong into danger and act like I’m just supposed to accept that that’s the way they are without questioning them. Double-standard much, gents?  I’m supposed to accept how YOU are, but you don’t accept how I am:  a skilled huntress that knows her business who doesn’t lie when our lives -- all of our lives here at the Rest -- are on the line. This isn’t just about V’hala Helsi anymore  I have no illusions that Fraus likely knows who we are and exactly where Hala is by now. It’s just a matter of time before the fight comes to us. Rae-Hann has said that he and Siannault will have nothing more to do with it, which is honestly disappointing. I swear by every god, I don’t know what it is with people and running /away/ from their problems, like that’s somehow going to help. If the door falls off the front of the house, what do they do?  Just run away and move to a new house?  I think most of them probably would, instead of doing the sensible thing and calling on a carpenter, helping them to repair it.  Nope, just easier to pack it all in and move off somewhere else. Sometimes, you just want to give your Found Family a swift kick in the-- The words trail off here, as if the writer got distracted at the last moment. Tumblr Mentions @therpperson​ for Edgard Beaumont @tetsuro-wulf​ for Tetsuro Wulf @a-little-sun​ for E’nijah Suzume @yokasaris​ for Rae-Hann @tavard-ffxiv​ for Siannault Tavard

[casualcatte]

All-Weather Friends Featuring: Edgard Beaumont, Nan’to Vaadrage, Tetsuro Wulf, E’nijah Suzume, and Aultena Sephimiri

Some people have fair-weather friends who are only ever there when times are good.  Me?  I have all-weather friends who are there for me no matter how stormy things may get... Tumblr Mentions @therpperson for Edgard Beaumont @tetsuro-wulf for Tetsuro Wulf @a-little-sun for E’nijah Suzume

[casualcatte]

Briony: What’s one time your character has helped a friend?

Gospel 's first meeting with Valeria Camena (@thehouseofvs) was by helping her by accident. She'd been dispatched to Thanalan by Momodi to clear out a den of ash-kin only to find out that Valeria had already been taken by them and was soon to be a zombie dinner! Gospel cleared out the camp and got Valeria back to safety. They've been in each others' orbits ever since.

Aultena spent several moons helping a band of her friends (@nightraid-hq) to liberate her adopted sibling, V'hala Helsi (@thehouseofvs)from the clutches of an evil Ishgardian lord. It required some subterfuge, some cleverness, and a whole lot of stinky catte-ness in the form of her incognito persona, Ollie Catte. She probably still owes E'nijah Suzume (@a-little-sun) many apologies.

Thanks for the ask, @kevyn-thornrough! Want some more? Ask away!