#EAST LANSING HIGH SCHOOL

[scarletvanfleet]

Pairings: Josh Kiszka X Danny Wagner

Word Count: 13.9k

18+ NO MINORS! NO SMUT, BUT ADULT CONTENT BELOW CUT.

“Danny, did you know that the ancient Greeks recognized many different types of love? Eight really. But most people, if they do know about it, only know about three of them.”

Read on AO3

Warnings/Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Fraternity, New Year's Eve, Angst, Pining, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Alcohol, Drug Use, Mushrooms, Marijuana, Confessions, Bonfires, Jealousy, Anger, Name-Calling, Coming Out, Kissing, Holding Hands, Shock, Frustration, Explicit Language, Guilt, Banter, Vomiting, Hallucinations, Paranoia, Cuddling & Snuggling, Sharing a Bed, Hangover, Anxiety, Awkwardness, References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Apologies, Difficult Decisions, Awkward Conversations, Tension, Emotional Hurt, Panic Attacks, References to Arctic Monkeys, Crying, Sad Ending, Heartbreak.

Author's Note below the cut.

A/N: Hello again my friends. This is something I have been working on for many months and honestly I would not have finished without the continual support of my friends @kultavalo (#1 Beta Reader) & @jake-whatthefisgoingon-kiszka.

Please note that this read is not for the faint of heart. That being said, heed all above warnings and DO NOT continue if it is not for you.

If I have by chance missed something, do please let me know.

𓇢𓆸

Danny knew that when the Kiszka brothers joined a fraternity at MSU, he would eventually get roped into coming to some kind of party. What he didn’t expect was that it would be New Years of all things. He was more expecting a toga party or some other off the wall event. But no, it was two weeks before the thirty-first that Danny got a text from his best friend Sam’s older brother Josh inviting him to come out to their frat’s big night. He was apprehensive at first, never really being one to really party much. He would rather have stay at home in the safety and security of his own bed. But when Josh hit him with the “I miss you” text, he lost all sense of anxiety surrounding the idea of being grouped in with a bunch of strangers.

“I miss you” wouldn’t have hit nearly as hard as it did if Danny hadn’t been secretly pining over Josh since they were in High School. Of course Sam was never the wiser to his crush and Danny thought for the longest time that he would like to keep it that way.

Until now.

Danny was old enough now that he felt he had little left to lose by making his move on Josh. He just didn’t know how to go about it. But planning never did seem to make things easier for him in the dating department. It always seemed like it went better if things developed organically. Though he did promise himself that no matter what, he was going to try to be Josh’s New Year’s kiss.

Josh was everything that Danny had always wanted in a partner. He was sweet, loving, kind, and shared his love around freely. He was absolutely beautiful as well, with his cropped mane of curly chestnut colored hair, lightly golden tan skin, and chocolate colored eyes. He was much shorter than Danny, but Danny loved the height difference as it made it so that Josh’s head rested perfectly on his chest every time they hugged.

He did indeed miss all three of the Kiszka brothers when they’d made the move to East Lansing to go to school, and Danny had stayed behind, preferring to focus on other ventures for the time being. He missed the days of playing music in their garage and sneaking alcohol from their parents' cabinets. But those days were long gone and now all that was left was the lingering emptiness that came with having his three closest friends living far away from him.

The day of the 31st came and Danny had his bag packed and ready to go. He loaded up his car and quickly drove by the bank to grab some cash that Jake, Josh's twin, had actually recommended he bring to pitch in for tonight's beverages. In the short phone call Jake had also mentioned that the fraternity brothers were planning on making jungle juice. Which Danny thought sounded intriguing, as he had never heard of such a thing before.

As he left town he thought back to Sam, a small worry knot tying itself within the depths of his stomach as he considered how his friend would react to him making a move on his brother. Would he think it was weird? Would he be okay with it? His mind raced as he drove down the highway. He also thought about Jake and how close he was to Josh and what he might think of the situation as well. Danny groaned and rubbed a hand over his face.

This was going to be a long night.

𓇢𓆸

When he arrived at the boy’s house he was pleasantly surprised to find a small red brick home with a tiny front yard that was neatly kept. As he stepped out of his car he saw Sam throw open the door and run down the pathway towards him. He jumped straight into Danny’s waiting arms and hugged him tightly.

“Danny boy!” He yelled loudly as he rocked him back and forth.

“Hey Sammy boy. How are you?” He asked, taking a step back from him and putting his hands on Sam’s shoulders so that he could get a full view of him. He looked pretty much the same as he had this past summer, save for his hair being a bit longer. Sam shared some of the same features as the twins, but his were sharper and more defined. His hair hung long and nearly completely straight past his shoulders, only the slightest of curls could be perceived at the nape of his neck. Same chestnut color and pretty dark eyes, but his face was longer and leaner. His whole body was, really. He was also taller than them, closer to Danny's height.

“I'm good, I'm good. Glad you're here! We were just about to start getting ready to head over to the fraternity house. Do you wanna like, catch a shower or anything?" Sam asked as he opened up Danny's trunk, grabbed his bag, and swung it over his shoulder.

“Nah I'm good, showered this morning. Is what I'm wearing good? I brought some other stuff because I wasn't sure what to wear." Danny tried to take his bag from Sam but he wasn't having it. He turned away from Danny and headed back up the pathway to the house, looking back to see if Danny was following. Which he was.

“Okay cool, yeah man, wear whatever you want. It's casual. But if you're looking to pick someone up you might have to try harder than that. Girls here are a little harder to get than back home." Sam winked at him and then opened the door, holding it open so Danny could enter.

If only Sam knew.

The house was decorated pretty randomly and haphazardly with different music and movie posters, various plants, and little tidbits everywhere. The furniture was mismatched but comfortable. It reminded him much of the garage where they all hung out as teenagers. Only this was much cleaner. Probably thanks to Jake and his pension for tidiness.

Right as Danny was thinking about Jake, he came around the corner from the kitchen with a towel over his shoulder and a wide smile on his face. His straight hair had gotten longer too, but his face had remained the same, nearly identical to Josh's but with a slightly more upturned nose and deeper set eyes.

“Hey Danny! Glad to see you made it in one piece!" He clapped him on the shoulder before bringing him in for a brief hug.

“Yeah the drive wasn't too bad luckily. You never know how it can get with Michigan in wintertime you know?" Danny shrugged and continued glancing around the house. He hoped Josh was here somewhere but it was looking like it was just the three of them.

“Josh is at the store already with some of the guys picking up stuff for the jungle juice tonight." Sam said as he tossed Danny's bag to the couch. He always seemed to know what Danny was thinking before he even said it.

“Oh okay. Speaking of which. I grabbed some cash like Jake recommended if you just wanna give it to whoever. Also, what even is jungle juice?” Danny pulled the bills out of his wallet and pressed them into Jake's palm, who shoved them into his own front pocket.

"Essentially it's a bunch of different types of alcohol and juices all mixed together in a big tub.Sometimes we put fruit in it. Tastes great usually but just be careful. It's stronger than it seems, and don’t trust the fruit if it’s been in there a while.” Jake playfully knocked into his shoulder before turning to go back into the kitchen from which he had emerged.

“Oh I don't know how much I'll be drinking tonight…” Danny made eye contact with Sam again who gave him a small smile.

" It's New Year's Danny! No better time to become a drunken menace to society. Don't worry, there are designated drivers to bring us all home safely.” Sam made a cross over his heart and smiled at Danny.

" If you say so Sam.”

𓇢𓆸

It was about an hour later that they made it over to the fraternity house. Jake, being the responsible older brother that he was, had insisted upon making them eat before heading over. Danny had also taken the opportunity to change into a halfway buttoned black shirt and black jeans. He thought he looked rather nice with his long dark curls falling over his shoulders. He definitely could use the confidence boost to get through what he was planning for the night.

There were already some people milling about in the house and on the patio when the three of them arrived. Jake led them inside, making short introductions here and there just in case Danny should need someone throughout the night and not be able to find one of them. Josh was still nowhere to be seen and Danny was starting to become anxious that somehow he had missed the older boy completely yet again.

Finally he heard it. The loud and easily recognizable laughter that could only come from Josh himself. Danny stiffened a little but quickly recovered before anyone noticed. Finally, they walked into a large, wide open room with a pool table in the center and a couch pushed up against the wall. A large TV stood at the other end of the room, and a few stray chairs were placed around the table. And there was Josh, sitting backwards on one of the chairs, a huge smile on his face. His hair was a mess of unruly curls and he wore a plain white long sleeve shirt with khaki colored pants. A string of beads hanging loosely around his neck.

He looked gorgeous, Danny thought to himself as he continued to follow the brothers around to where Josh was happily chatting with his friends. Josh lit up as soon as he saw Danny and immediately stood up to throw his arms around his neck.

“Danny! It’s so good to see you! I feel like it’s been forever.” He smiled as he pulled back, but put his hands on either side of Danny’s face and looked him over. Danny gave him a small smile before dropping his arms and allowing himself to be observed.

“It’s only been a couple of months.” he replied.

“Well realistically I know that, but like I told you. I missed you.” He finally dropped his hands but kept looking into Danny’s eyes.

“I missed you too Josh. So what are you guys doing?” he asked, noticing that now the conversation around them had somewhat died down and people were starting to disperse into other rooms since Josh was no longer holding them captive in conversation.

“Well, we were having a rousing conversation about the plans for the night's events. But it would seem as though my fellow comrades have abandoned me. So we are left to our own devices.” Josh laughed and then looked over to his brothers who had placed themselves around the pool table and were mindlessly playing with the billiard balls.

“It’s still early Josh, there’s hardly any people here right now. What do you expect?” Jake rolled his eyes and tossed the ball he had been holding back onto the table and then turned to lean his back against the wood. Sam continued tossing his ball in the air and catching it as he walked back and forth along the length of the room.

“I dunno, you guys wanna smoke or something?” Josh asked, raising a brow.

Danny shrugged and the others nodded their agreement. Sam placed his ball down on the table and followed as they all went out through the french doors. Outside there was a large courtyard that was made up of a cobblestone porch with a sunken fire pit in the middle. There was a light layer of snow on the ground where it hadn’t been shoveled away completely.

“Jake you got a light?” Josh asked as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small rectangular cigarette case. He opened it quickly and slid out a joint. Jake nodded and reached into his own pocket and produced a black lighter.

“Nice.” He plucked the lighter from Jake’s hand and lit the joint easily. He then handed it off to Jake who took a couple hits and passed it over to Danny. Danny repeated Jake’s actions and then held it out to Sam. They all took turns rotating the joint around until it was burnt down sufficiently and then Josh snubbed it out on the bottom of his shoe and shoved the roach into his pocket. Danny giggled a little, feeling the effects of the weed entering his system. Josh caught his eye and smiled.

“Feeling good Danny?” He asked as he reached out to place his hand on Danny’s shoulder.

Danny could feel the warmth of his hand through the fabric of his button up and it nearly made him shiver. “Yeah, but it’s starting to get too cold out here. You guys want to go back inside?” He asked.

“For sure! Let’s play Mario Kart or something.” Sam suggested as they turned to go back in the doors to the room with the pool table.

“I’m totally going to kick your ass Sam!” Danny told him as he shoved his arm playfully. Sam giggled and pushed him back. Soon they had settled down and were playing a group game of Mario Kart. Jake had picked Luigi, Sam picked Yoshi, Danny picked Mario, and Josh chose Princess Peach. Danny smiled to himself about their picks and they played round after round until finally they gave up and announced Jake the winner overall. He was always the most competitive out of the group, though Josh did like to give him a run for his money and Sam was known for taking whatever route necessary to win. Even if that did involve some cheating. He always got called out on it though.

“Hey Josh! We’re going to start mixing soon if you want to help!” came the voice of a young man from the kitchen area they entered through to get to the pool room.

“Guess that’s my cue. Danny, you want to come see how it’s done?” He asked as he set the controller back on the tv stand.

“Yeah sure that sounds fun.” Danny replied and put his controller on the stand too before turning and following Josh into the kitchen.

There was a group of about five people in the kitchen, all standing around, chit chatting with each other. In the center of the room was a large island with a big plastic bin on it with a ladle off to the side. Large bottles of various alcohols were lined up on the counter top, as well as about eight large bottles of different juices and mixers. There were also a few big bags of ice in the sink and some random cut up fruits on a cutting board.

“Wow, you guys really went all out. Is all of this going in there?” Danny asked as he turned a bottle of alcohol around to read the label.

“Yup! We tried to get things that would kind of go together at least so that way it tasted decent. We’ve had some bad batches before.” Josh responded as he began cracking the lids open on the different bottles

“You guys do this often then?”

“For just about every major function, and sometimes on a smaller scale on the weekends just for fun.” Josh shrugged and turned to one of the guys who was lining the walls. “Hey Justin. I think we’re ready to pour.” Josh smiled at him and Justin returned the smile before announcing to everyone to grab a bottle.

Everyone grabbed a random bottle or jug of whatever was closest and on Josh’s count of three began pouring it into the bin. It filled up quickly and after a quick mix, the liquid turned a light rosy pink color, and smelled somewhat like strawberry.

“That’s it?’ Danny asked as he turned to throw the bottle he was holding into the trash can.

“Well, now we throw in all that fruit, and pour it over some ice and the party really starts I suppose.” Josh laughed and reached over to grab the cutting board. He slid in all the fruit and then gave the batch another stir.

“It doesn’t look all that intimidating, Jake made it sound kind of scary.” Danny said, giving Josh a slow smile.

“Looks can be deceiving darling. Did he warn you about the fruit?” Josh said as he reached for a cup and went around to fill it with ice. Danny hid the slight prickle he felt on his skin at the endearment.

“Yeah but he said only if it’s been sitting in there a while.”

“Right he is. It sucks up all the alcohol in there and gets super potent, it’ll knock you on your ass if you aren’t careful. Wouldn’t want you to get too messed up.” Josh winked at him as he began ladling the mixture into cups and handing it out to the people in the kitchen who took it and then began making their way out. Danny stayed next to Josh as he did this and they chatted about different things. Josh remained close to Danny, grazing his arm every now and then and gently grazing his back with his hand when he needed to get around him. Each touch had Danny biting the inside of his cheek. Finally they were alone in the kitchen and sipping at their drinks slowly.

“Are you doing okay Danny? You’ve been awful quiet tonight.” Josh observed.

“Yeah I’m good, just thinking you know.” Danny responded. He could feel the intensity of Josh’s undying curiosity as he looked at him.

“Thinking about what?” Josh asked, swallowing down more of the sweet drink and then leaning over the counter top with his head tilted to the side as he looked at Danny.

Danny took a deep breath and then sighed before quietly saying “You.” and looking away. He took another long drink of the alcohol in his cup before realizing it was now empty.

Josh blinked in confusion and opened his mouth “ Wha…?”

But Danny didn’t get a chance to respond because at that moment Sam came into the kitchen and began rummaging around, grabbing cups and ice and pouring his own drinks. Soon Danny found himself being tugged back outside by his arm by Sam who told him he wanted to introduce him to someone.

They stepped out onto the front patio where they had originally come into the house and there was a small group of people just outside the door. Danny could smell the weed they were smoking as they passed a pipe around. Sam dropped his arm as they entered the circle. The group all greeted him and then offered him the pipe which he took gratefully.

“Guys, this is my best friend Daniel. He came down from Frankenmuth to spend New Years with us.” Sam announced.

Danny gave them all a small wave. A small girl with long blonde hair stepped forward towards him and held out her hand. “Hey Daniel, I’m Lena. I’ve heard a lot about you from Sammy.” She smiled and Danny caught just a small glance of her bright blue eyes in the light from the porch.

“Nice to meet you Lena, please, just call me Danny. Sam is the only one who insists on calling me Daniel.” He laughed and took her hand which was soft and so much smaller than his own.

“That’s your name isn’t it?” Sam retorted, and then tried to hand the pipe to Danny which he declined. Sam shrugged and handed it to Lena instead who took it after dropping Danny’s hand.

“Well yeah but you’re the only one who calls me by my full government name Samuel.” Danny laughed. Lena smiled and took to standing next to Danny.

“So, Sammy told me that you play drums? I do too. Just started a couple years ago. My sister and I kind of have a little duo going on.” Lena captured his attention once more and he noticed her twist a lock of her hair around her index finger.

“Oh sweet. Yeah I’ve been playing a while. Sam and his brothers and I used to have this kind of band thing going on. Used to play in their garage all the time. Then they all moved up here for school so now it’s just me.”

She frowned a little at this and said “Well that sucks. Maybe you should come here too then. Join the frat? Get the band back together. I know I wouldn’t mind seeing you again.” he saw her wink at him and he stiffened suddenly realizing what was going on. His head swiveled around to Sam, who raised his eyebrow and gave him a small encouraging smile. Danny blinked and then quickly excused himself to the restroom. He opened the door to the house and walked back through the kitchen, seeing Jake and Josh as well as their friends still hanging around the island. He went directly to Jake and asked him where the bathroom was, trying but failing to completely avoid Josh’s gaze. They locked eyes for a split second before Danny tore his eyes away and headed down the hall adjacent to the kitchen that Jake told him would lead him to the bathroom.

He opened the door to the bathroom and set his cup on the sink. He looked at himself in the mirror briefly and ran a hand through his hair. He could feel the alcohol and weed already starting to mix in his body and took a deep stabilizing breath. Quickly, he relieved himself and then washed his hands. He stayed in the bathroom a little longer just enjoying the peace that came with the solitude. But his peace was broken not five minutes later when there was a soft knock at the door.

“Out in a minute!" He called to the unknown person.

“Danny, it’s me.” Came Josh’s voice from the other side of the door.

Danny sighed and grabbed his cup. He opened the door and stepped out, Josh moved out of the way so that it didn’t hit him.

“Hey man, you sure you’re doing okay?” Josh asked yet again. Looking Danny over for any sign of illness.

“Yeah I’m fine. Just needed a break and now a refill.” Danny held up his cup at him and shook it slightly.

“Okay. I just-” Josh said quietly enough that Danny didn’t quite hear him as he had already begun turning and making his way back to the kitchen to refill his drink. Josh followed him but stayed quiet and watched him fill his cup and top it off with a couple slices of orange.

“I think we’re going to start a fire and maybe play some beer pong?’ Jake said to Danny as he watched him drink from his cup a little quicker than he had been before, his brows slightly furrowed.

“Sounds good. Didn’t see any firewood though. Unless you guys have it hidden somewhere?” Danny laughed, fully engaged in his conversation with Jake.

“Nah, but we do have a dried out Christmas tree because we never watered that thing to keep it alive!” Jake laughed back and then noted his own empty cup and went to refill it.

“You’re going to set a Christmas tree on fire?” Danny asked, curiosity overtaking him as he recalled the courtyard out back and the fire pit.

“Yeah we’re going to throw some lighter fluid on it and light it up in the pit outside. Should be fun. Too bad we didn’t think about getting marshmallows though!” Jake poked Danny in the shoulder and he could tell by his demeanor that he was already feeling the effects of the alcohol, as a large smile had crawled across his face and wasn’t breaking any time soon. Danny shook his head and smiled back.

It was unusual for Josh to be as quiet as he had been since Danny revealed that he’d been thinking about him. But Danny tried to mind his own business and give Josh a wide berth as he was already somewhat embarrassed by Josh’s reaction.

But he still had a plan to stick to, and with less than an hour until midnight, he had to start making things happen. He decided now that it would be a good time to put some distance between himself and the kitchen so he filled his cup a final time and went out into the courtyard to watch as the other fraternity brothers began preparing to light the tree on fire. The tree itself was already drug out of the living area and into the pit, and was currently being doused with lighter fluid. Soon after, Jake walked out and joined him at the edge of the pit and watched as the others continued their work.

“So I take it you met Lena.” Jake said, bringing his cup to his lips once more.

“How’d you know?”

Jake laughed “ Well, when you came inside you looked like you’d seen a ghost. Plus Sammy isn’t very good at keeping things on the down low. We knew he had a plan for trying to hook you up with someone tonight. Go figure it’d be the drum playing sorority girl from his anatomy class.”

“I just can’t believe he thinks I need to be hooked up with someone. Do I really seem that desperate Jake?” Danny asked him, looking over at the other man.

“Not desperate, no. But it has been a while since we’ve seen you with someone.” Jake shook the ice around in his cup and looked up to meet Danny’s eyes. “What? Am I missing something here?" Jake's eyebrows knit together.

"I just. I like someone else, okay?” Danny sighed, it felt weird to be admitting it.

"Oh? Who? Someone from back home?” Jake asked as his curiosity was peaked.

"Kind of yeah.” He replied, sipping his drink a bit more before plucking one of the pieces of fruit from it and taking a bite.

" How could they kind of be from home? That implies that they're also kind of not from home.” Jake chuckled. Danny didn't respond because at that time Josh, Sammy and a group of others decided to join them outside. Once most of the partygoers had gathered, one of the brothers threw a match onto the tree and it lit up quickly, warming the whole area and dousing it with a yellow-orange glow.

Sam and Josh made their way over to Danny and Jake and made a little circle.

“Hey I was wondering where you’d gotten off to.” said Sammy as he made eye contact with Danny.

“Bathroom. Then got to talking with Jake. So what's the deal Sammy, why are you so interested in my love life?" Danny chuckled but his expression was serious. The twins both snapped their heads over to Danny, their eyes wide and Sammy’s jaw gaped.

“I- I just thought you might like her." Sammy said innocently.

“Like who?" Josh inquired, his voice going up an octave.

Danny took note of the change in Josh's voice and watched the brothers interaction intently.

Sam cleared his throat and looked down before quietly saying “Lena…”

"LENA?!” Josh said loudly, causing a few nearby people to give him a strange look. "Seriously?!”

Danny was confused by this sudden outburst but when he looked down he saw Josh's cup was again empty and the response began to kind of make sense.

“What's wrong with Lena? She's a nice girl!" Sam defended, looking to Jake for back up. Jake just held his hands up in a way that said “Leave me out of this."

“Nice? Sammy. You're really going to hook up your best friend with one of your flings?" Josh looked pissed, his cheeks even more red than they had been before this conversation came up.

Danny felt his heart drop and he looked from Josh to Sam. “Sam?" Danny asked, his voice sounding a little hurt. Not that he was particularly interested in the girl in the least. But the fact that his friend would just pass off one of his endeavors to him like that kind of irked him.

Sam looked guilty and began biting on his thumb nail. It only took a few seconds of all three of them staring at him before he broke. “Yes! Okay. I did sleep with her. So what?! She's still cool. Cool enough for me to introduce her to Danny! I thought they'd like each other. She was interested anyway!" He tried to defend himself but it would seem as though the damage had been done.

Danny shook his head in disappointment and Josh just glared at Sam. “ Danny deserves better than that you idiot!" Josh exclaimed, obviously still feeling the anger.

“It's fine. I wasn't interested." Danny looked away from the group and over to the fire where a few frat brothers had taken their shirts off and were running around the pit yelling.

“Yeah. Besides, you like someone else anyway, right?” Jake said hopefully. He was obviously trying to steer the conversation in a different direction but it caught Danny off guard that he just said that out loud in front of Josh. He tensed up and gave Jake a quick look as he tried not to panic.

“Yeah." He laughed it off.

“Who?!" Josh demanded, catching Danny's eyes. Danny stared back at him but said nothing.

“Don't know. He just said it was someone kind of from home." Jake shrugged.

Danny watched as Josh's expression softened some and his jaw relaxed. “Oh." Was all he said.

The group went quiet for a moment and Danny took that as his cue to finish off the rest of his drink. He'd begun feeling the effects of the liquor more around the time that Josh outed Sam's indiscretion, but he tried his best not to show that his head was slightly swimming. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jake check his phone. He noted that there was only about 5 minutes until midnight and swallowed hard. Fuck, how am I supposed to pull this off he thought to himself.

“I'm sorry Danny, I shouldn't have done that. I really didn't think it mattered." Sam spoke up out of the awkward silence.

“It's fine Sam. Just don't try to hook me up with anyone else okay?" Danny gave him a small smile and gently pushed his shoulder. Sam returned the smile and nodded in agreement.

"Are you going to tell us who this mystery girl is Danny?” Asked Josh.

"Ah… It's uhm. Yeah, it's not a girl." Danny scratched the back of his head and looked off towards the fire again as his cheeks reddened. He realized he'd never actually discussed his sexuality with them before. He never really felt the need to. He met Josh's eyes when he felt brave enough and saw the expression of calm understanding there with maybe a hint of surprise. He then looked at Sam who of course had his mouth slightly agape, and finally to Jake who had a smug smile on his lips.

“Why didn't you tell me?" Squeaked Sam.

“I didn't feel like I needed to." Danny shrugged.

“Because you don't. You didn't. You owe none of us that." Said Josh who looked back over to Sammy as if telling him to shut the hell up.

“Thanks." Danny gave Josh a small smile and looked down into his cup where he noted a few more pieces of fruit within the ice. He pulled one out and tossed it into his mouth.

"Hey everyone! We're about to start the countdown!” Yelled one of the shirtless men that had been parading around the tree. There were some cheers as everyone began to crowd closer to the fire.

Danny watched the brother's walk towards the fire and took his own place in between Josh and Sam with Jake just to the left of his twin.

The countdown began and Danny could feel his heart race as they loudly counted back from 30. With each decreasing number he felt his nerves rise, his palms to become somewhat sweaty and he had to wipe them off on his pant legs.

“Ten!"

“Nine!"

“Eight!"

“Seven!"

“Six!"

“Five!"

“Four!"

“Three!"

“Two!"

“One!"

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!" Yelled the chorus of people outside on the patio as the fire burned and a few people blew on tiny party horns. Fireworks began cascading from the skies above.

Danny took a deep breath and turned towards Josh who had a wide smile on his face and was watching the various celebrants as they cheered and some kissed. Josh felt the movement and turned his head towards Danny and locked him in with those stunning sparkly eyes.

“Josh?" He asked

“Yeah?"

“It's midnight."

“Yeah I know. And?" He continued smiling but looked a little confused at the discourse.

“Can I kiss you?" Danny asked. He hoped he'd gathered enough courage to say it loud enough that Josh could hear him over the celebrations.

Josh looked a little surprised, but took next to no time at all to agree, nodding his head as he said “Yeah."

Danny reached out a hand and cupped it along Josh's jawline and pulled him in. He could feel the smaller man slightly lifting up on his toes as they pressed their lips together. Josh's lips were soft and warm and he tasted just like the fruit from the jungle juice. Danny's eyes slipped shut as he saw Josh do the same. It was a sweet, slow kiss that made everything around them fall away, including the loud celebrations. The only thing Danny could hear was the soft hum that came from Josh’s mouth as he slightly deepened the kiss. He felt Josh's arms wrap around his waist loosely and took a small breath in through his mouth. It was shaky at best but Josh was smiling as he pulled back and they both opened their eyes.

“Hi" Josh said shyly as he moved his arms from around Danny's waist to rest his hands gently on his chest.

Danny chuckled a little “Hi."

They just stared into each other's eyes for a moment while they came out of their little bubble. Danny looked up when he heard Jake's laughter. He met his eyes and Jake just let out a resounding “I knew it!".

They finally broke apart, but Josh grabbed his hand and laced their fingers together keeping them connected.

Danny knew he would have to face Sam's reaction sooner rather than later, so he turned his body back to the fire and then looked to his right to see his best friend's face. His expression was nothing short of shock.

“Danny? What the hell man?" He spat, exasperation lacing every word.

" Sam, don't be mad. Please?” Danny begged.

" Mad? I'm not mad. Confused? Hell yeah. Josh is who you like? Why didn't you tell me?” He remarked for the second time that night.

" He's your brother Sam. I didn't know how you'd react.” He replied somewhat guiltily.

" Well I'm a little shocked but like… It makes sense now. What you said, about liking someone ‘kind of’ from home."

Danny just nodded and looked back over at Josh who was staring into the fire with a content look on his face.

“Josh?" Danny asked, pulling his attention from the blaze.

“Yeah?"

“You okay?" He looked closer at Josh's face and noted how dazed he was beginning to appear. Josh's head swung over to him and he looked up at him through his lashes.

“Yeah I just think those shrooms might be kicking in.” He said nonchalantly before turning to his twin. " Can we go home now Jake? “

Danny's ears perked at the mention of the substance and he snapped his head up to Jake.

“Shrooms? He took shrooms? Josh. You took shrooms?!" Danny said in shock.

“Hey I didn't know either until just now. But yeah let's go home. I'll grab one of the DDs." Jake shrugged and turned to walk over to a group of people.

"What's wrong Danny? I'm fine.” Josh asked, though his eyes were a little distant and his speech was the tiniest bit slurred.

“You're not fine. You're drunk and you took shrooms and you didn't tell us? Josh…” Danny lightly scolded him. It wasn’t like Josh had never done shrooms before, but never in combination with weed and alcohol as far as Danny knew, and never without telling someone.

Josh squeezed his hand and gave him a small smile. “Let's go home. I don't want to be around all these people when it really hits. I just want to be with you."

Danny couldn't know if Josh actually meant that or not due to his current state. He couldn't even trust his own mind at this point to tell him if he was overreacting. There were too many thoughts going through his head right now and it began to hurt. He raised his hand that wasn't currently occupied by Josh's hand to his face and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Danny? You okay?" Came Sam’s voice.

“Yeah I'm fine, stupid headache. Can we go now?" Danny was getting a little agitated between everything going on and his head starting to pound, he could feel it bleeding into his words.

About that time Jake came back to the group with two other men and announced it was time to go. The brothers said their goodbyes as they walked through the throngs of people back inside and through the pool room to the kitchen and then outside onto the porch where they had come in.

Danny saw Lena as they were leaving. She looked from his face down to his fingers that were still intertwined with Josh’s and raised a brow at him. He couldn’t care less though. The only thing that mattered to him was getting Josh home and into bed safely.

𓇢𓆸

The drive back to the boys’ house was relatively short, but that didn't keep Josh from laying across Danny's lap and insisting on him playing with his hair. Which Danny of course obliged without complaint. Jake, who was sitting on the other side of Josh, just propped his elbow against the window with a small smile on his face as he watched them from the corner of his eye. Sam, who was sitting passenger next to their designated driver for the evening, was rather quiet. Danny hoped that he wasn't really more angry at him than he had led on. But he knew going into this that it was always a risk.

Finally they reached the house and Danny slowed his methodical stroking of Josh's hair only for the boy's eyes to pop open quickly and look up at him. There was only a small amount of dim lighting filtering in through the window from the street light, but despite this, Danny could still see the glossy and dazed expression on Josh's face as he gazed into his eyes.

“What Josh?" Danny asked.

"You're pretty." Josh sighed and continued to lay still in his lap before Jake rolled his eyes and grabbed his arms to pull him into a sitting position with a huff.

Danny's cheeks flushed pink at the compliment and he tried to hide the small smile on his lips. Jake threw open the door and hauled Josh out with him, an arm wrapped securely around his waist. Danny hurried and threw his seatbelt off, thanking the driver as he got out of the car to lightly jog around to the curb to meet Jake, who was struggling to keep Josh on his feet. Danny quickly went around the other side and hoisted Josh's arm around his shoulder and put his own arm below Jake's, around Josh's waist.

Sam too had gotten out of the car and upon observing them struggling with Josh, scoffed loudly and cut through the grass, going in front of them to unlock the door. He did so and then held it open for them to drag Josh through and set him down on the beat up couch. Josh very quickly laid down on his side on the couch and closed his eyes, though he could still be heard humming some random song that Danny couldn't really make out.

“Okay well, he probably needs to eat something. You know, soak up all that bullshit he downed. Seriously Josh what the fuck got into you tonight?" Sam had his arms crossed over his chest as he regarded his brother with a pinched expression.

Josh fluttered his eyes open and made eye contact with Sam before he lifted a single hand and flipped him off.

“That's nice. Fuck you too dude." Sam threw up his hands and turned to head into the kitchen.

Jake shook his head and looked at a very clearly uncomfortable Danny.

“Hey. It's okay. I'm gonna go make sure he's not poisoning the food and then we're all gonna come back in here and eat okay? Then maybe showers if you want and bed." Jake was very calm as he spoke to him, almost as if he was a frightened animal that Jake was trying very hard to soothe.

Danny nodded and looked down at his feet. The residual effects of the booze and weed together were creating a noxious mixture in his stomach and he knew that, added with the anxiety of whatever this was with Josh, this thing with Sam was only going to worsen the impact on his stomach.

Jake’s eyebrows furrowed quickly as he looked over Danny’s troubled face which he noticed was beginning to twinge green.

“Oh fuck. Okay, come on. Come with me. Right now." Jake grabbed him by the bicep and hauled him down the hallway to the end where the bathroom was and pushed him in haphazardly before shoving him to the floor in front of the toilet.

It really was just in the nick of time as Danny barely had time to lift the lid before he was expelling the contents of his stomach into the still water of the bowl.

He heard Jake sigh and then Josh yelling down the hall “Where's Danny? Is he okay? What's that sound?!”

He couldn't say a single word before another onslaught of vomit was making its way out and he heard the sound of quick steps hitting against the wood floors. “Jake, fucking move." Came Sam's voice. There was a brief shuffle and then he felt warm palms stroking the hair back from his face and into a makeshift ponytail at the nape of his neck. The distinct clicking sound of Jake's heeled boots retreating down the hall was all Danny could hear before Sam kicked the door shut.

It was silent for a while as Danny regained his bearings and focused on whether or not he was going to throw up again. After a few minutes the nausea resolved and he reached a hand up to flush the toilet. Sam released his hair from his hold and went to the sink and pulled out a washcloth from the cabinet underneath. He ran cool water over it before squeezing it to a light dampness and then forced it to Danny's mouth and made him hold it there.

Danny sighed and sat back against the bathtub to his left and looked up at Sam who leaned against the door with his arms crossed. He looked thoroughly unimpressed and all Danny could think to do was pull his knees up to his chest and apologize.

“Sam…I'm so sorry. I-”

"Oh shut up with that would you. Don't apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. Yeah, sure, maybe I'm a little pissed that you've been pining after my brother for who knows how long and you didn't think it was worth telling me before sucking his face off in front of me. But I don't hate you for it. God, what kind of monster do you think I am?” Sam rolled his eyes and dropped his arms from his chest and came to sit on the edge of the tub next to Danny.

“I don't think you're a monster. I could never think that. I guess I just… I don't know. I should have told you. I was just scared.” Danny sighed and put his forehead down on his knees.

“Oh come on Daniel. It's okay. I'm okay, I'm not mad and I mean… It looks like things went okay with Josh? I mean he let you kiss him and he kissed you back and now he won't shut up about you.” He tried his best to sound optimistic.

" Yeah. But he's drunk..and stuff… I.. I don't know how much of this I can actually trust. But really I had no idea how much he drank and I didn't know about the shrooms and I-” he cut off with a choked whimper and Sam's eyes softened into a sympathetic expression.

" Dan…Hey. We know. Hell if you want to really be honest you weren't exactly sober yourself. Please don't beat yourself up thinking you forced this on him. You guys just need to talk okay? Get it all out in the open, and if you decide you want to be together, I promise I won't be a dick about it." Sam tried to comfort him with a hand to his back, rubbing small circles over his shirt.

Danny sat quiet and contemplative for a while before taking a deep breath and nodding.

"You're right. I'll talk to him. Tomorrow though. He's gone right now I think.” Danny lifted his head and looked at the closed bathroom door. He could hear random sounds from beyond it but didn't know what they could possibly be. Sam just hummed as he continued to rub Danny's back.

"That sounds good. Hey why don't I bring you your bag and you can shower and stuff. I threw a frozen pizza in the oven, it should be ready when you get out.” Sam suggested with a small smile.

"That would be great. Thank you Sammy.” Danny slowly got up from his position on the floor and stood in front of the sink and looked at himself. He was a bit pale and his hair was disheveled but otherwise he was intact.

“Yeah of course. What are friends for?" Sam stood and nudged him with his shoulder and Danny moved out of the way so he could get to the door. But before he could get a hand on the knob he reached for Sam's arm and gently pulled him into a hug. Sam was slightly startled for a minute but quickly rebounded and hugged him back.

“I don't tell you this enough Sam. But I love you. A lot." Danny said quietly as he gently squeezed Sam's body against his own.

“Oh you big sap. I love you too. Now let me go. I have pizza and a brother to check on.” He giggled and pushed off of Danny's chest and turned back to the door and made his way out of the bathroom.

𓇢𓆸 After his shower Danny felt about ten times better and was ready to face whatever was waiting for him on the other side of the bathroom door. He slipped on a loose T-shirt and a pair of pajama pants and brushed his teeth. He realized that he was probably going to be eating pizza and defeating the purpose of brushing his teeth entirely. But he figured it was better than his mouth continually tasting like vomit.

He threw his old clothes back in his bag and cleaned up after himself before opening the door and stepping out into the hallway. He was hit with a wave of apprehension as he stepped carefully down the hall but as he rounded the corner he stumbled upon a sight he wasn't expecting.

The couch had been pulled out completely and turned into a bed that had threadbare sheets stretched over the somewhat thin coil mattress and a couple of thick comforters thrown on top. Pillows were piled up near the headboard and in the center of the mattress sat a shirtless Josh who was curiously looking up at the ceiling fan and observing the lightbulbs.

Sounds of shuffling from the kitchen identified the location of Sam and Jake. Danny carefully sat his bag down on the floor at the end of the sofa bed and sat on the edge with his back to Josh. The movement of the mattress got Josh's attention and soon came his voice in a quiet whisper;

“Hey…Hey Danny. Look at this.”

Danny turned slightly and looked over his shoulder at Josh, who had a wide, dopey grin on his face as he locked eyes with him. Josh then reached his hand up again towards the lightbulb. His fingers not even getting near the surface but his hand still being lit up all the same.

“It's like I'm ET or something" Josh giggled and wiggled his fingers around in the light.

“Right." Danny confirmed, slightly confused but assuming this had something to do with the trip.

As he watched his friend continue to play in the light, Jake and Sam entered the room carrying paper plates of pizza. Sam shoved one into Danny's hands and came to sit next to him. Jake handed another to Josh after shifting his attention from the light.

“Eat Josh. You need to. You also need to drink some water then you can go to bed okay?" Jake used that same voice on Josh that he had used on Danny before Danny succumbed to his weak stomach.

“I don't want to go to bed. It's not safe." Josh said simply, picking up a slice of pizza and taking a large bite out of it.

“Josh, it's perfectly safe, what are you talking about?" Jake pressed, eating despite his brother being cryptic.

“No. Not for Danny it isn't. But it will be. I'll fix it. Watch." Josh grabbed the piece of pizza he took a bite out of and set his plate down on the mattress. He quickly shifted up off the bed and took off towards the kitchen. Jake sighed and followed him grumpily.

“What's he doing?" Danny asked, picking up his own slice of pizza and taking a bite out of it.

“Who knows. Making it ‘safe’ whatever that means." Sam shrugged and dug into his food.

Minutes later Josh came back into the living room only to abruptly turn and head down the hallway with Jake hot on his heels. They couldn't see what he was doing but they could hear the doors opening and what sounded like windows shutting and locking into place. This carried on through each of the rooms before Josh was back in the living room, reaching over to secure the windows and double check the front door’s lock. He slid the deadbolt into place and even latched the door chain before turning back around with a smile and plopping himself back down on the sofa bed. He grabbed his second piece of pizza and began munching on it happily.

By this time Danny and Sam were done eating and Sam grabbed their plates to toss in the trash.

“So is it safe now?" Sam giggled as he bumped his shoulder against Jake's who was standing in the doorway to the kitchen now and looking very tired.

“I freaking hope so. He locked everything up like it's Fort Knox. Ridiculous." Jake grumbled. Sam laughed again and Danny gave a small smile.

“Okay I'm going to bed now. He should pass out soon if you want to try and wrangle him into his room.” Jake stated, snatching his discarded plate and Josh's empty one off the bed and tossing them before heading to his room.

Josh groaned and threw himself back on the pillows. " Nooo. I wanna stay here with Danny.” He whined.

Sam laughed out loud and put a hand on Danny's shoulder. " Are you okay with that? I can help you take him to his room if not. He’ll go I promise. He's just being an ass.”

"Am not. Someone has to make sure he's safe Samuel.” Josh said, the glare in his eyes evident on his face.

"Oh shut up will you? He's safe without you encroaching on his space.” Sam argued.

“It's fine Sam, honestly. I'm not worried about it. We're all just going to sleep okay?" Danny explained, turning the question towards Josh who nodded eagerly.

“Yes. Sleep. We're going to sleep. " Josh confirmed as he reached for one of the thick comforters and pulled it over himself.

“Alright, fine. But don't make me come out here. Because I will." He glared down at Josh and then let his hand drop from Danny's shoulder. He then turned and walked towards his room.

“Oh thank God they're finally gone. They were driving me crazy." Josh sighed before continuing. “Hey, turn that light off then come lay down. It's really late."

Danny nodded and stood up silently, clicking the light off and then coming around the opposite side of the bed. Josh fished a remote out from the sheets and clicked the old TV on and flipped the channel to some infomercials. Danny chuckled a little and sat down in the bed, a good distance from where Josh was reclining.

“Mindless TV helps me sleep. Besides, you never know when you might need some of this crap." Josh smiled and set the remote on the floor before snuggling down into his blanket. Danny watched him carefully, unsure of what to really do in this moment but realizing Josh was still wearing those khakis despite his shirtless status.

“Yeah.. Uhm. Do you want me to get you some pajamas or something?” Danny asked shyly. Trying to be casual about the situation.

"Oh! Right. Nah it's fine I'll just kick these off and sleep in my boxers. If… if uh..that's okay with you.” Josh was slowly morphing back into his baseline personality and some of the shyness was beginning to show through.

Danny looked over at Josh and saw the slight rosy twinge to his nose and cheeks, with his bottom lip tucked under his front teeth.

Danny realized a moment too late that he was staring and quickly cleared his throat and nodded before looking away. " Ye- Yeah. Yes. That's fine Josh. However you're comfortable.”

Josh released the hold on his lip and quickly brought his hands under the blanket and popped the button on his pants before sliding the zipper down and pushing them off his hips. He shimmied and kicked them the rest of the way off his legs and pushed them off the edge of the bed onto the floor.

“Better?" Danny asked, looking back over to Josh to see that he had rolled over onto his side, facing him with his head propped up on his arm.

“Much. Hey, you can move closer and lay down. I promise I won't bite.” He smirked a little at his own joke.

Danny said nothing in return but did as he said and moved closer to him and laid down on his back, looking up at the ceiling with his hands behind his head.

" Danny?” Josh asked quietly, almost so quiet Danny couldn't hear it.

" Yeah?” Danny responded, still looking up at the ceiling.

" Could I uh…. Can I cuddle you?" He asked, his voice wavering a bit.

“You want to?" Danny asked, a little taken back by the question but he couldn't ignore the way his heart rate sped up at the thought as he stole a quick glance at Josh.

“ Yeah. If you're okay with it. I just want to be close to you." Josh explained and Danny nodded.

“Yeah Josh. You can cuddle me." Danny agreed. Not sure exactly how the smaller man was going to accomplish this, but desiring the closeness as well.

“Turn over" Josh instructed as he scooted more towards the center of the bed.

Danny swallowed down the twinge of nerves and rolled over on his side, facing away from Josh, but then also moving more towards the center. He could feel Josh moving even closer until his body was pressed right up against Danny's back. The size difference was a little odd, but as Josh gently eased his arm around Danny's waist he found that he didn't much care how odd it might look to anyone else. Josh's hand turned over and came to rest gently against Danny's sternum. He gave a small squeeze before relaxing down into the pillows completely.

“Is this okay?" Josh asked as he settled. Danny released the breath he didn't know he'd been holding and nodded.

“Yeah." He said simply, finally allowing himself to take in the feeling of Josh's body pressed against his own. He could feel the heat of Josh's skin radiating through his pajamas. “You're so warm." He said quietly.

“Oh I'm sorry. Is it too much? I can-" Josh went to pull his hand away and move off of Danny but Danny's hand quickly shot up and held his hand in place against his chest firmly, tangling their fingers together.

“No. Don't go. It's nice. " He didn't mean for it to sound so desperate. But he didn't want Josh to move away from him. It's not like they'd never cuddled before in the years they'd been friends. But it had never been like this and Danny wanted to soak up every moment he could.

Josh didn't respond verbally, but he did resume his comfortable position beside Danny.

Danny did eventually close his eyes as Josh began humming the same song from before that he couldn't place. But now, in the quiet stillness of the night he recognized it. Three Little Birds. He smiled to himself and listened to Josh's pretty voice as he began to sing some of the lyrics before cutting himself off and whispering so quietly that Danny could barely hear it.

“You're safe Danny, I'm here. I made sure you're safe. I've got you."

𓇢𓆸

The sun was shining warmly through the windows above the sofa bed and casting yellowed light across the living room when Danny began to stir from his sleep. The first thing he could hear was the sound of some kids' tv show playing on the television. The small voice singing about being neighbors. The second thing he could hear once he came to a bit more was soft snoring from behind him. Which is also when the realization hit him that he was not alone. He did not go to sleep here last night by himself.

Josh.

His eyes popped open and he looked around somewhat startled and was ready to jump out of the bed completely. Then he took note of the arm still wrapped around him and the weight of Josh's head on his back and froze where he lay. He took a couple deep steadying breaths to calm the panic as the memories from last night came washing over him.

He kissed Josh.

Josh kissed him back.

Fuck.

Fuck fuckity fuck.

Okay calm down. Calm down Danny. He told himself in an attempt to not send himself into a spiral. But the change in the rhythm of his breathing must have alerted Josh to his consciousness because he felt him nuzzle against his back and his fingers flex against his stomach where his hand now lay, and the gentle snores ceased.

“Mmmm… Good morning.” Came Josh's gravely morning voice, which sounded more like Jake's normal speaking voice and did interesting things to Danny's brain.

“G-Good morning.” Danny stuttered out.

Josh rolled over onto his back and stretched his arms up above his head with a loud yawn.

“Did you sleep okay?" He asked.

Danny turned over and laid on his back as well, but turned his head to the side to look over Josh, who's hair was a tangled mess of curls and his cheeks were flush with the red twinge of a hangover.

"Yeah. Did you?” Danny replied.

Josh nodded in response, and then pulled himself up into a sitting position.

" Hey, uh.. Do you maybe want to get breakfast?” He asked, looking down at Danny, a somewhat shy expression on his face.

"Yeah of course. Do you want me to wake the others so we can go together?" Danny asked, also pulling himself up into a sitting position next to Josh.

“Oh. Uhm.. Nah. Let them sleep.” Josh tried to sound casual but Danny picked up on an underlying tone that made his stomach clench.

"Okay.” Danny nodded and watched as Josh got up from the bed and headed towards his own room, presumably to change clothes. Danny sat there for a moment trying to gather his senses and looked up at the television where the cartoon was still playing with a small animated tiger in a red jacket hopping across the screen happily.

After a moment of contemplation he got himself up off the bed and grabbed his bag before heading to the bathroom to change.

𓇢𓆸

After they'd both changed they climbed into Josh's small white car, Josh pulled out of the driveway and set off down the road. He didn't say where exactly they were headed. Actually he didn't say much at all. Which put Danny on edge even more than he already was since this was very abnormal for him. If he had to describe Josh’s overall demeanor he would say it was solemn. His expression was near blank, a stark contrast to the normally goofy smile he wore. Danny swallowed thickly and looked down at his hands.

The drive remained quiet until they pulled into what looked like some form of Mexican fast food restaurant. They pulled around through the drive through and came to a stop behind two other cars. Finally, Josh turned to Danny with a very soft smile.

“Do you trust me?" He asked.

“Yeah, absolutely." Danny replied, looking up to meet Josh's eyes for what felt like the first time in hours, but what in reality, had only been about twenty minutes.

“Alright. I'm gonna order you what Jake gets. I think you'll like it." He turned his face back to the front of the car and proceeded through the line. A few minutes later he was at the speaker box and ordered three black bean tacos, and three steak tacos with salsa on the side. Danny smiled to himself thinking about eating regular tacos for breakfast but when he looked at the clock on the dash he realized it was actually eleven in the morning. He also took this opportunity to observe the weather in more detail, and saw the fog outside swirling around the car as bits of sleet fell through the air. It was a chilly morning, saved only by the heat coming from the cabin of the car. Danny found himself wondering if they were going to drive back to the house to eat. But after Josh had paid, and pulled off onto the road, he found that they were traveling the opposite direction from where they'd come. He chose to stay silent and not question it. Somewhat glad for the quiet calm, even though he could sense the impending doom.

He silently contemplated the conversation that was bound to happen. Which way was this going to go? He didn't want to risk angering his anxious stomach again so he forced any negative thoughts from his mind and stared out the window while Josh drove.

It was about fifteen minutes later that he found Josh pulling into the gravel area of a park. There were a few covered wooden picnic tables, and a large playground, though there were no children in sight given the weather. Josh pulled into a spot and shifted the car into park. He sat still for a moment, quietly observing the park itself before grabbing the bag with the food inside and pulling out a taco for each of them.

“I'd say we could eat in the park. But it's a little chilly out and I don't really want to eat a cold taco." Josh giggled, handing a taco to Danny and a small cup of salsa.

“That's okay. This is fine. Nice actually. Peaceful. Do you come here a lot?" Danny asked as he opened his food and applied some of the salsa to it.

Josh shrugged and opened his own taco, copying Danny's actions before responding. “Yeah, sometimes. Most of the time I just come here when I need to catch a break, or if I just need to think."

“Oh." was all Danny could think to say. The energy in the car shifted and the nervousness was palpable as they both turned their attention towards eating.

They ate in silence until their first taco was gone and the wrapping was balled up and tossed back in the bag. After a few more moments of tense silence, Danny couldn't take it anymore. He needed to say something. Anything.

“Josh, I-"

“Danny-"

They spoke over each other accidentally and quickly shut their mouths to let the other speak. Silence filled the air again and Danny let out a frustrated sigh, looking down at his hands.

“Danny, did you know that the ancient Greeks recognized many different types of love? Eight really. But most people, if they do know about it, only know about three of them.” Josh said carefully. Danny could feel that Josh was looking at him, regarding his resigned stature.

Danny's eyebrows furrowed as he looked up from his hands and turned to meet Josh's eyes. Love? What is he trying to say? He thought to himself before blinking away the confusion on his face and responding. “No. I uh.. I didn't know that. What are they?”

Josh took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before continuing. " I won't bore you with all eight of them. But the main three are Eros, Agape, and… Philia.” He paused, looking for some sense of understanding from Danny.

“Okay…What do they mean?” Danny was following the conversation easily. But he wasn't really sure where exactly Josh was going with this.

"Well Eros, as you could probably guess if you know anything about the Greek gods, is romantic love. Sexual, intimate love. The kind most of us would associate with the word love.” he explained.

Danny nodded his understanding and encouraged him to continue.

“Agape, is true unconditional love. It's like the idea of the kind of love that a God might give to a person, and a person for a God. Does that make sense?”

"Yeah, I get it. And…the third one?" Danny swallowed thickly after he asked. He didn't know why but he was a little nervous about finding out what this one was because he had a feeling Josh saved it for last for a reason.

“Right, Philia. Philia is the love between friends, between equals.” He said it gently but the intent was there and Danny immediately picked up on what it was that Josh was subtly telling him.

“Oh. I see." Danny said in a choked voice, letting his gaze drop from Josh’s and return to his own hands as he twisted them against each other as the lump in his throat grew.

He willed himself to force back the tears that were stinging in his eyes. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes. Josh stayed quiet as he let Danny have a moment to let it sink in before barraging him with more words.

When Danny finally felt like he'd gotten a handle on his emotions he let out a small sigh and turned back to look at Josh who wore an expression of worry mixed with guilt.

“Danny, I'm sorry." Josh said, biting the skin on the inside of his lip.

“Sorry? For what?" Danny was a little stunned that he was apologizing to him.

“I- I just… I don't want you to think I don't like you, and I don't want you to think I wasn't in control of myself last night, and I really really don't want you to think that you have absolutely anything to feel bad about. But…” The floodgates had opened now and Josh's normal manner of speach had broken through the near formal way he had explained the types of love.

“But?" Danny asked, curious as to what Josh was going to say next.

" I… I can't." Josh faltered and looked dejected.

“Can't? Josh if this is about Sam… We talked and he-”

“It's not about Sam. Honestly I could not possibly care less about what Sam thinks. No Danny. This is about me. I can't be what you probably want me to be. Not right now." He explained.

" I don't understand.”

" Danny, I know you. You're a good guy. The best really. You're so sweet and so kind. The partners you've had.. they stuck. You're happy to commit to the one you love, and so am I. Usually. But.. god this is going to make me sound so fucking awful. But I have to just be honest.” He let out a sigh and waited for Danny to look up at him again. Which he did, and his watery expression made Josh falter.

“Okay. Go ahead. I'm listening."

“ I'm just getting started in college. In the fraternity. Hell, in life. I don't know exactly what it is I want right now. I can hardly decide what I want for breakfast most days… But what I do know, is that despite all of that, the last thing I ever want to do is hurt you. And I know it's kind of a moot point, being that what I'm doing now is already hurting you. Don't think I can't feel it.” Josh took another deep breath before continuing " But Danny, if I were to ignore all of that, throw caution to the wind, and jump into this with you with both feet… I can't promise I wouldn't fuck it up. I'm not old enough, or wise enough to give you what you really deserve from me. If I do this despite knowing that.. it would destroy everything. It would change everything. Our friendship, your friendship with Jake, with Sam? I can't do that to you. To them.” He was breathless and distressed when he finally finished and reached forward to take Danny's hand in his own. “Do you understand?"

Danny couldn't speak. He let his eyes drift back down to Josh's hand in his and just stared blankly at them. He couldn't quite process all the information that Josh had dumped in his lap. He knew he was glad for the honesty, and for how gentle Josh was being to try and spare him some of the emotional damage. But the sting of disappointment lingered and his heart hurt.

After a considerable length of silence, Danny finally cleared his throat. “I think I get it. I guess I just wonder why…” he let his voice trail off a bit as he continued to observe all the intricate details of Josh's hand.

" Why was I so receptive? Why did I kiss you back, flirt with you, cuddle you?”

Danny nodded and chanced a look up at him. He wore a sad smile as their eyes met and he opened his mouth to answer. “Well, I guess I should admit that it was selfish on my end. A bit of my self control and logical thinking went out the window. I knew where my heart and mind was, but I also knew my underlying feelings for you. And you just looked so good and it felt good to be with you. I guess I just let myself indulge a little in that fantasy of being with you without any real regard to your own feelings… and I'm sorry Danny. I am. Truly.”

Danny let the apology sink in along with the revelation that Josh just uncovered. He wasn't going to tell him that he didn't need to apologize and he wasn't going to say it was okay. Because he did feel slightly led on, and it seemed like Josh knew that, and it wasn't okay. So he sat there for a moment before he got the courage to remove his hand from Josh's grip. He wasn't angry. Honestly the torrent of mixed emotions was so overwhelming he didn't know exactly how he felt. But he wasn't mad. He let out a heavy breath and looked up into those normally sparkly eyes that were now rimmed with red.

“I understand, and I accept your apology. If you uhm.. if you don't have anything else you'd like to say to me. I think I would like to go home now." Danny swallowed back his tears again. Forcing himself to stay steady.

“Danny-"

“Please?"

Josh nodded and situated himself back in his seat, and put the car in reverse to back out of his spot and then drove back towards the road.

𓇢𓆸

The ride back to the house was dead silent and no words were shared between them as they arrived and got out of the car to head inside.

When they stepped into the house it was just as they'd left it this morning. Blankets strewn on the pull out bed, Josh's pants on the floor and children's cartoons on the TV. The only difference was that Jake and Sam were now sitting on the bed bickering back and forth about the TV and fighting over the remote. Though they abruptly stopped when Josh and Danny entered the room. Jake immediately eyed the brown paper bag in Danny's hands and shot up to investigate. “Ooh! Did you bring tacos?" He said excitedly as he made grabby hands for the bag.

“Yeah. There's a couple steak tacos in there just for you big boy." Danny weakly joked. Jake took the bag and scampered off to the kitchen. But when Sam caught sight of them the first thing he noticed was how pale his friend looked and how distant his eyes seemed. Then when he spoke he didn't miss the crack in Danny’s voice. His eyes then snapped to his brother who looked immensely guilty, with his red irritated eyes aimed at the floor, heavy shoulders and his hands tucked into the front pockets of his pants.

Sam shot to his feet and addressed his brother.

“What did you do?!" He accused loudly and angrily.

Danny didn't know it was possible for the already small man to shrink even more into himself, but that's precisely what Josh did under his younger brother's judgemental gaze.

Jake heard Sam’s raised voice, which was very uncharacteristic of him and came back into the living room, taco in hand and a confused expression on his face. He looked at Sam and then over to Josh and Danny, actually taking in their appearances this time. As the realization hit him all he could say was “Oh no."

“Sammy please. Could we not? I don't want to do this. Just leave him alone, okay?" Danny begged. Sure he was hurt and upset, but he respected Josh and his feelings enough that he knew he had a right to have them.

Sam was very obviously angry at his brother despite not knowing exactly what happened, and he wasn't just going to drop it that easily.

“Danny, either he tells me what happened or you do. Someone clue me in here because you both look like your grandma just died." Sam had that demanding tone in his voice still and it made Danny cringe.

“Fine. Sam, can I talk to you? Alone?” Danny could feel the frustration rising in his voice as he stepped forward and grabbed his friend's wrist before heading down the hall to Sam’s room and entering, slamming the door shut behind them. He dropped Sam's wrist and took a seat on the bed, his head dropping into his hands as he struggled to contain all the emotions currently wreaking havoc on his mind and body.

“Spill it." Said Sam, standing in front of him, arms crossed over his chest.

“God. Fuck Sam. Give me a second okay?" Danny tried to breathe deeply and slowly but he could feel his chest getting tight with panic. He brought his hands up over his chest and closed his eyes as he struggled to slow his breaths.

Sam caught on to his imminent panic attack and quickly came to his side and wrapped his arms around his friend and put his head on his shoulder as he to gently rock him.

“Hey, it's okay. I'm here, you're okay I promise. Breathe. Like this okay? In for four, hold for four and then out for four. Follow me.” Sam had dropped the anger from his voice completely and was now speaking so softly to him as he started coaching him through the breathing technique. Danny didn't know how many repetitions it took of the cycle before he felt calm enough to stop and the tightness in his chest alleviated. But it did and he finally looked up at Sam and met him eye to eye.

“He uh… Well I guess it's not that he doesn't feel the same exactly. He just explained that he loves me like a friend, as an equal. And that he's just getting started in life and doesn't think he could do our relationship justice if he was to jump into it with me. He thinks I deserve better than that.” Danny explained. Trying to summarize the entirety of their conversation without giving an exact play by play.

“Oh. I see." Sam said quietly, slowly releasing Danny from his hold as he gave him his best sympathetic expression. He paused for a beat before continuing. “He's right though. You do deserve better than that."

" You both say that, but I guess my head is still so wrapped up in trying to be his that I can't even fathom falling for someone new.” Danny sighed and looked off to the wall that was covered in old 70s style concert posters and Polaroids.

“I get that. So I guess this has been with you a while then?" He asked, trying to keep his tone level so he didn't stress Danny out more.

“You could say that, yeah." He confirmed as he continued to take in the messy room with the clothes strewn across the floor and the light from the lamp drenching the room in a warm glow.

“I'm sorry it ended this way Danny. I understand if this changes things for us and you don't really want to be around us anymore. I won't like it. But I get it. So will Jake." He could hear the lump in Sam's throat as he spoke and quickly turned his head to meet his eyes again.

“That's definitely not what I want. I love you guys. A lot. You're the best friends I have. Sure it might be a little difficult with Josh for a while. But it's not like I hate him now. It's just…complicated.” He explained and Sam's face lifted into a small smile as he took Danny's hand into his own and gave it a small squeeze.

"I'm so glad to hear that. I don't really know what I'd do without you. Things might be weird with Josh for a while but I'm sure if you guys want to keep your friendship despite this, you can. You can navigate this together.” Sam was trying his hardest to be optimistic but he knew that they were both going to need time.

“I think for now I just really need to go home.” He admitted, letting his eyes fall from Sam's to observe their hands together.

"Yeah I probably wouldn't want to stay another night after that either. Are you going to be okay? At least until you get home?”

"Yeah Sam. I think so. I'll call you if I pull over or anything but it's not really that long of a drive. It'll be okay. I'll text you when I get home okay?”

Sam nodded and gave his hand another gentle squeeze before letting go so Danny could stand up. He then also stood up and followed Danny as he let himself out of the room and went into the living room to grab his bag.

When he entered the room he noticed that Josh was gone and Jake was sitting on the sofa bed biting at his cuticles. When he noticed them enter the room he stood up and came over to Danny, silently wrapping him in a hug. Danny bit his bottom lip as he hugged Jake back for a few moments and then broke away. He looked into the man's eyes and could see through his attempt at hiding the sadness behind them.

“You're leaving?" He asked quietly, observing the bag slung over Danny's shoulder.

“Yeah. I.. I need to go home." Danny replied, swallowing thickly.

“I understand. I'm so sorry Danny. Really I-"

“Please Jake. Don't apologize. I'll be alright. We’ll all be alright. Just do me a favor?" He cut Jake off quickly, not wanting to hear any more apologies today.

“Yeah of course. Anything."

“Take care of him? Please?" Danny asked, a little desperation seeping into his words.

"Always." Jake promised him.

He gave him a small smile before heading out the door into the cold air of the afternoon, the two boys following behind him as he threw his bag in the back seat of the car. He gave them each a tight hug and then climbed into the driver's seat and turned on the engine.

Jake and Sam stood in front of the car as he went to shift gears and back out of the driveway slowly. He was about to pull out onto the street when he saw the door of the house swing open and Josh, clad in a pair of loose pajamas with a blanket over his shoulders, ran barefoot over to stand next to Jake. Danny pressed on the brakes and stilled the car at the end of the driveway as their eyes met.

They just stared at each other for a moment before Josh raised a blanketed hand and gave a small wave.

Danny returned the wave and didn't miss when Josh took that same blanketed hand and ran it over his eyes quickly. Danny's heart clenched a little, but he forced away the feeling and finished backing out of the driveway and pulled into the road and began to drive away.

𓇢𓆸

The drive was near silent as Danny made his way home. He didn't feel like listening to music, so the only sound that filled the cabin of the car came from the road itself. He let his mind unpack today and yesterday completely, but he maintained control of his emotions.

Once he got home he went directly to his room and threw the bag on the floor next to the door before tossing himself face down onto his pillow.

He took one singular successful deep breath before attempting another, only to be cut off by his own choked sob.

There, in the quiet stillness of his apartment he finally gave up on holding back his emotions and let his heart break completely.

𓇢𓆸

[starry-hughes]

luke wasn’t in michigan to save her. she was going to have to call mark. eloise didn’t want to call him. luke would have picked her up, told her to leave collin and then would drop the subject. mark wasn’t as reserved with the topic. he made it clear that he hated collin.

she was outside the fancy apartment complex. she could have begged an uber to drive her all the way back to ann arbor but she needed mark. her coat was wrapped around her and she was crying as the phone call went through.

“hello?” mark woke, it was 2 in the morning. “c-can you come get me?” she asked. “yeah? where are you?” “east lansing.”

eloise didn’t have a drivers license. she always took a bus to collin’s because he couldn’t have bothered to come pick her up even though he said he wanted her. the two went back a while. they started dating in high school and it was toxic. she had officially broke up with him but the second collin wanted a quick fuck she was there.

“are you in his apartment?” mark immediately spewed. “he kicked me out.”

eloise hadn’t even gotten her clothes back on before collin was kicking her out. she needed after care too and he refused. she felt sick to her stomach. “are you outside eloise?!”

“can you please come?”

she made herself comfortable on the bench for the hour drive that mark got down to 40 minutes. she was a shell of a person when he pulled in. and of course, collin wanted her back as soon as mark got there. “c’mon el, god you’re freezing,” mark jumped out of the car. “eloise, are you leaving?” collin asked as he exited the building. “yeah she’s fucking leaving.”

mark ushered eloise back into the warm car and shut the door. when mark turned back to collin, he was standing right in front of mark. “c’mon man, she can come back up to my place.”

“you kicked her out into the cold knowing she couldn’t get home easily.”

“she’s fine. c’mon babe, let’s go back to bed.” collin went to grab the car door handle but mark grabbed his wrist. “go back inside collin and never talk to eloise again.”

collin scoffed. “she won’t sleep with you, she’s only ever slept with me.”

mark ignored the comment, walking back to the drivers side of the car before speeding off. eloise quickly wiped the tear from her cheek. “are you okay?”

“no,” she said, “can you hold my hand?” he frowned and offered his hand, “did he really not even let you calm down after?”

she sniffled. “h-he doesnt do aftercare. i’m silly for needing it, he’s just a little hard and rough. always has been.” mark sighed. “are you not taking me to my apartment?” she asked as they pulled into the driveway of the hockey house. “no. keeping you here.”

he got her into his room at almost 4 am. as soon as she was in there, she threw up in his bathroom, shaking from everything that happened. mark was picking up the pieces. he had been doing it since luke left for jersey.

“i’m done with him mark,” eloise whispered as he got her into his bed and curled an arm tightly around her. without thinking, mark started praising her softly, he rubbed a thumb on her arm and gave her the aftercare she deserved. “i- what are you doing?”

“this is aftercare eloise. this is what you deserve.” she lets out a cry and he shushes her. “i don’t know why i love him.”

[dontmeantobepoliticalbut]

Michigan Democrats are considering speeding up the passage of new gun legislation in the state following a shooting at Michigan State University on Monday evening that left three people dead.

The drive for new legislation will be one of the first significant tests of Democratic Party governance in the state since the midterm elections. Last year, Democrats unexpectedly captured “trifecta” control of Michigan, with Gov. Gretchen Whitmer cruising to reelection and her party narrowly flipping both state legislative chambers, too.

It is the first time in decades that the party had complete control in Michigan. Republicans have in the past been resistant to gun control measures, and Democrats in the state said there will be new urgency behind their drive, after the latest mass shooting in the country. Michigan Democrats are focusing on three gun policy proposals: universal background checks, safe storage laws and extreme risk protection orders, sometimes known as “red flag” laws.

“We’re going to try to move faster,” Democratic state Sen. Rosemary Bayer said in an interview Tuesday morning. “After years of not getting an inch, now we’re making real plans.”

“Some of the legislation we have goes back 10 years,” added Bayer, who represented the town of Oxford in 2021, when four students died in a mass shooting at a high school there. “We just haven’t been able to get any traction to do anything.”

Bayer said that lawmakers updated legislative proposals following the 2022 midterms, knowing they might be able to move forward on it. Even before this week’s tragedy, state Democrats had said gun laws would be among their legislative priorities now that they have complete control of the government. In a roundtable with reporters in December, Senate Majority Leader Winnie Brinks identified gun violence legislation as a priority for the chambers’ new majorities.

But this week’s shooting has increased the urgency.

“One of the models we’ve seen in these horrible tragedies is that we need to act quickly. Even in Florida, they were able to get it done in a red legislature,” said state Sen. Darrin Camilleri, who represents the area south of Detroit. “I think we can do that with a Democratic trifecta. There are conversations we’re having as soon as today to figure out timelines to expedite this process.”

Whitmer specifically called out all three of Democrats’ gun control priorities in her State of the State speech last month.

“Despite pleas from Oxford families, these issues never even got a hearing in the legislature,” Whitmer said at the time. “This year, let’s change that and work together to stop the violence and save lives.”

The MSU shooting occurred on campus in East Lansing on Monday evening, which killed three students and injured five more. The suspected gunman died of an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound off campus. The Detroit News reported that he pled guilty to a gun charge in 2019.

It is the 67th mass shooting in America this year alone, according to the Gun Violence Archive, a D.C.-based nonprofit.

Bayer, who Whitmer called out as a leader on gun control legislation in her address, said that there is a plan to introduce legislation “soon.”

“We had a schedule that we’re trying to move up even more,” she said. “We were targeting right after the first week of April, that’s what we were planning for, but we want to respond quicker.”

But Democrats in the state are also cognizant that they have very slim majorities to manage in both the state House and the state Senate. Even a single no vote from a Democratic lawmaker could sink a bill in the state House if no Republican joins.

“All you need is one Joe Manchin,” said Bayer, referencing the West Virginia Senator’s role bedeviling Democrats on Capitol Hill on a myriad of issues. (Manchin has worked with Senators from both parties on gun legislation in the past, and he supported the bipartisan law that passed last year following the mass shootings at a school in Uvalde, Texas, and a grocery store in Buffalo, N.Y.)

“With these current events, how could anyone stop it?” Bayer continued. “But I’ve thought that for years.”

Spokespeople for Whitmer and Brinks did not immediately respond to requests for comment on new legislation. But statements in the immediate aftermath of the shooting expressed despair and outrage and signaled that Democratic leadership planned to push for gun control legislation.

Brinks tweeted that her daughter, a MSU student, was “answering my texts and calls” early Tuesday morning. Tate’s spokesperson pointed to a statement he issued saying “we can continue to debate the reasons for gun violence in America, or we can act,” adding that he had “no understanding left for those in a position to effect change who are unwilling to act.”

“This is a uniquely American problem,” Whitmer, who ordered that flags around the state be lowered to half-staff on Tuesday morning, said in her own statement. “We should not, we cannot, accept living like this.”

Camilleri and Bayer expressed confidence that the party would be able to get all Democrats on board for legislation focused on red flag laws, safe storage and universal background checks. And Bayer said she thought some Republicans could join on some pieces of legislation as well. “We’ve had a couple of Republicans join our caucus on the topic,” she said. “I hope this will help more of them to come over.”

But beyond that, broader legislation may be much more difficult, the lawmakers admitted.

“When it comes to some other issues that I’m sure we’ll be discussing, those might be tougher, but the urgency to act is now,” Camilleri said.

[vintagepipemen]

Vance Hamilton, a teacher at East Lansing High School in Michigan, 1976.

[thebuckblogimo]

For me, this is when "the '60s" started.

October 23, 2023

Since we roomed together as freshmen in college almost 60 years ago, my buddy Eric and I have shared numerous letters and e-mails. Over the last few years we have compared personal insights into our early years at MSU. Recently he caused me to reflect on the subject of "when everything changed" on campus. I thought you might enjoy my reply to him. Here is my communication, edited slightly for the blogosphere:

Eric, My Boy...

Two years ago you asked me what kind of thought process brought me to Abbot Hall as a freshman in 1965. Then, a couple weeks ago, you e-mailed a reference to what life was like on campus during that first year at MSU. It struck a chord, inspiring me to reminisce about the zeitgeist of those times. So buckle up as I unload. Some of this stuff you've heard before. Some of it you may not be aware of:

A month prior to the move from my East Dearborn neighborhood to East Lansing, some of my closest friends--Tony, Garry, Larry and Vince--had already begun their freshman years in late August at Western Michigan and U-M, schools that were on the trimester system. Other close friends--Joe, Butch, Keller, Bernie, the "Bear," etc.--probably hadn't thought seriously about what they would do after high school. Within a year they were all either drafted into the service, enlisted, or joined the reserves due to the escalation of the War in Vietnam.

MSU was on the quarter system back then. I would be moving into Abbott Hall at the end of September--on my own, without anyone from my considerable childhood "support group." For the first time since going to camp, I was beginning to feel--pick an adjective--apprehensive, anxious, lonely. 

For some strange reason, three images stand out for me from those last 30 days that I was home: 1) shopping with my Mom for "school clothes," including Italian "swirl" shoes and a brown corduroy-and-suede winter jacket at the downtown Hudson's store; 2) reading a story in the Detroit News--while sitting on a milk crate, in the doorway of my Dad's marble shop--about a 13-3 MSU football victory in the season opener against UCLA; and 3) sitting in my Dad's '63 Pontiac Bonneville, feeling melancholy as I listened to Johnathon King's "Everyone's Gone To The Moon" on the radio while he ran into Allo Bar at 35th and Horatio in Detroit for a "fast one" after work.

During the run-up to the start of school, I kept thinking about how I would soon be entering an unknown world. It was heady stuff for the first kid in the Bokuniewicz family to attend college.

Finally, on a Sunday afternoon, my parents drove me to East Lansing, helped me move my stuff into the dorm, and said goodbye. I didn't kiss my mother. I'm not sure I even hugged her, as my family just didn't do that sort of thing. My folks would never again set foot on the MSU campus.

I met my two roommates at 271 Abbot Hall that day--a couple of guys from "the thumb" of Michigan. One with a vaguely moppish head of hair, wearing jeans, penny loafers and "no socks" (that would be you); the other a pimply-faced son of a big-time sugar beet farmer who told me he was an "egg major." (Turns out he actually said "ag major." Who knew?)

Usually wearing tight pants and my Italian swirls during those first few weeks--and with a jar of Dixie Peach Pomade on my dresser, plainly visible to all who entered our room--it took only a few days for me to realize that in the eyes of the guys in the House of Abode, I had been judged as someone "different."

A couple guys, I would eventually learn, thought that I was possibly a member of a gang. I was being perceived by some as that "streetwise kid from Detroit."

I began thinking, What don't these people get about me? And what is it about them? When they dressed for Sunday dinner (as we were required to do in the dorm in those days), they wore herringbone sport coats, rep ties and wing tips. I wore a sharkskin suit and "thick-on-thin" socks. They liked tunes such as "Little Honda" by the Hondells, which I thought was kinda weird. As a matter of fact, I was amazed by the proliferation of Hondas (especially Honda Hawks) all over the MSU campus.

In my neighborhood, guys rode big-ass Triumph, BSA and Norton motorcycles. We listened to the Temptations, Four Tops and obscure groups on black radio stations. Where I came from, most popcorn-machine-riding, bubble-gum-music-listening types would be derided as "cake eaters."

So that's the backdrop to the period you succinctly described in a dozen words: "The times, they weren't a-changin' yet, but a change was gonna come."

And "Whoa, Nellie," did things ever change.

During that first quarter at MSU, I recall sitting in my seat at the Nat Sci building one morning, reading the State News before class started, about Mario Savio and the Free Speech Movement at Berkeley. It seemed that people all over campus were talking about it. Also, I was aware that something called the Gulf of Tonkin incident had occurred the previous year, but now I was beginning to hear about a troop build-up in South Vietnam.

The change that was gonna come--at least in East Lansing--seemed to begin with the Ramparts magazine article a few months later (April of '66) about MSU's clandestine involvement with the CIA and South Vietnamese government. I remember well the four-color illustration of a large-breasted, Vietnamese-looking MSU cheerleader--Michigan State pennant in hand--on the cover.

Next thing I knew, shit was hitting the fan. 

That story marked the beginning of things radical and revolutionary on campus. I soon found myself reading more than just the sports section every day and listening to political debates among students in the grill. Sophomore year I started attending speeches in protest of the war at Fairchild Theater; and about "black power" and the class struggle, as espoused by the Black Panther Party; and about revelations concerning ground bits of bone and mouse ears that could be found in hot dogs, according to consumer advocate Ralph Nader.

After the Ramparts story, it seemed as though students were railing everywhere against the Vietnam War--in the State News, at gatherings in kivas, and at sites on campus such as the old administration building and Beaumont Tower.

Initially, I was bewildered by it all. My Dad and uncles were World War II veterans. I had never heard them criticize the concept of war. How could our country not be right about what it was doing in Southeast Asia, I thought? 

I can't pinpoint the exact moment that I came to understand that the War in Vietnam was "all wrong," but by the time you and I moved into 276 Abbot Hall (or was it 275?) in the fall of '66, changes of all kinds were indeed on. Some examples:

Long Hair. The style on campus was transitioning from Brian Wilson-like to Mick Jagger-like. (By Thanksgiving I was parting my hair rather than combing it back ala Bobby Rydell.) Guys began wearing "fatigue jackets" and girls were getting into the "peasant look." (Thanks to your influence, I ditched my typical footwear for a pair of Bass Weejuns in the fall and a pair of Bates Floaters to plow through the snow winter term. These were the first mini steps in a change of personal identity for me.) Along with the changes in hair styles and clothing on campus we began hearing terms like "hippies, radicals and freaks."

The Music. By September of '66, the Beatles had released at least a half dozen albums. Same for the Rolling Stones. The next thing I knew, you went from being a Chad and Jeremy fan to a devotee of the Mothers of Invention, as well as Captain Beefhart. Big-time change. I hung in there as the maven of Motown in the House of Abode which, of course, underwent a name change to the House of Abortion.

The Sexual Revolution. I recall walking alone to the auditorium across from Bessie Hall to hear someone--I have no idea who--give a speech about the sexual revolution. I recall sitting in my seat when the speaker on stage exhorted everyone to turn and look into the eyes of the person next to us, and, on the count of three, to yell "pussy"--ostensibly to help us get over our inhibitions. I thought to myself, Lenny, we're not at St. Al's any more.

The Generation Gap. I think it was Jack Weinberg of the Free Speech Movement who said, "Don't trust anyone over 30." I recall you concluding, "When I turn 30 I won't be able to trust myself anymore." And every time I would go home and see my next door neighbor, Mr. Phillips, some of my uncles and, eventually, work associates from the Greatest Generation, we would engage in a lively debate about "the war." I think of that time as the beginning of the first "great divide."

Politics. Now I was really paying attention to the national dissent over Vietnam. In fact, practically every student on campus was paying attention. I started subscribing to Newsweek and would do so for the next 40 years, in order to stay apprised of the great issues of the day. I even took an elective class called Great Issues, as well as a political science class called The Isms (socialism, Marxism, Leninism, Communism, Fascism). By junior year I was watching the CBS Evening News with Walter Cronkite practically every night. I couldn't wait to hear the insightful commentary of Eric Sevareid at the conclusion of each show.

The Civil Rights Movement. As a child, I had been aware of "colored" kids being escorted into an all-white school in the South during the Eisenhauer administration. But it was Martin Luther King who epitomized "the movement" in the early-to-mid '60s with his non-violent approach to civil disobedience. Then came the Detroit riot during the "long, hot summer of 1967." "The times they were a-changin'."

Drugs. I'm not even sure that I had heard about pot or LSD in high school. But during that first term at MSU there was all kinds of coverage in the student newspaper, Playboy magazine and other media about Dr. Timothy Leary and his experiments with LSD. He was exhorting everyone to "Tune in, turn on, drop out." Or was it "Turn on, tune in, drop out"? Anyway, by the time we graduated, it was the rare college kid who had not at least tried smoking reefer. Beyond that I did dexedrine a few times to stay up all night to cram for final exams, but I never did a psychedelic trip on acid.

Many times I have said that society changed more from 1965 to 1970--socially, politically, racially, musically, culturally, sexually, etc.--than during any other five-year period in my lifetime. And, while it was happening, our football jones was being satisfied by Duffy Daugherty, Bubba, and his All-American buddies, leading up to the first "game of the century," the 10-10 tie with Notre Dame in the last game of the '66 season, and a share of consecutive national football championships our first two years in school.

Oh, how the world turned in the '60s. For my money, it was the best time in history to be a student at MSU

Ad finem.

[mywickedtruth]

On Monday. February 13 2023, two school shootings happened. There were probably more, but I didn’t look it up. Let me tell you how these are connected.

In Lansing, Michigan, the city I was born in, at MSU, the alma mater of my father, and the current university of my cousin’s 2 children. A young woman, Elise, a junior, who actually looks like me, was on the other side of campus when the guy went into that classroom. She is ‘ok’ safe, scared, in shock, traumatized, perhaps permanently.

Her younger brother, Jack, a freshman was in the building. Not the classroom, but in Berkeley Hall. He is ‘ok’ safe, scared, in shock, traumatized, perhaps permanently. Imagine the horror and the fear.

Now, the second shooting:

Denver, Colorado, the city I was raised in, at Denver East High School, my alma mater, and the current high school of my sisters son. A young man, Jude, a freshman, who is a varsity soccer player, was in his classroom when his teammate and friend was shot in their school parking lot. He is ‘ok’ safe, scared, in shock, traumatized, perhaps permanently.

That’s 3 kids in my family. On the same day. Do you hear me? THE SAME FUCKING DAY!! The same day. Don’t tell me to be rational. Don’t tell me I’m in your fucking prayers. Go donate money to the families. The boy that WAS SHOT IN THE FUCKING HEAD IN FRONT OF HIS HIGH SCHOOL ISN’T DEAD!!!! It’s not looking good, but his family could use some cash.

And none of mine were ‘hurt’. I’m not attending funerals. My sister, my cousin, their kids? How do they get through this? How do they parent this? How do they get their kids to go back to school? And be successful? And healthy? And and and. How do you comfort them when the nightmares come?

And thank fucking god there was a metal detector inside the high school where it did not one iota of good.

It’s a complex problem. Gun control, social services, media (mainstream and social), police, lack of culture, systemic racism, dysfunction in all levels of government, a nation divided in half by hate; violent all consuming blind hate; color coded hate -black and white, red and blue, corporate greed, and more….but no one is sitting down at the table to even try to peel the onion. Think tanks put ROVERS ON MARS but can’t keep 3rd graders safe in Uvalde or Sandy Hook or the younger siblings of my college friends at Columbine! And let me tell you how many fucks I give about rovers on Mars. (Lots of tax dollars on Mars, kids. $25.4 BILLION dollars to NASA IN 2023) let’s take one years nasa budget and fund a mass shooting solution think tank and see if they can do something with it.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

I’m angry. And a woman today in my office told me it’s gods plan. It’s in the Bible, the end of days. I told her to shove her Bible up her ass. And when it’s her family I will remind her of her god and his plan. AND!!!!!

Her/ their ignorance is not as valuable as my/our intelligence. But (social) media has given them a platform to be loud. From the red neck swamp rat to the hallowed halls of the highest government offices

Thoughts and prayers are not enough. Stop voting for pussies. Stop following bullies and bigots. Stop teaching your children that gun violence is acceptable. What happened to having a fist fight at the bike rack after school? Stop allowing your kids to disrespect others. Stop disrespecting others. Don’t heckle the President of the UNITED States on national television. It’s tacky. It teaches others that this behavior is ok. It’s not. Do you hear me? It. Is. Not. Send cash to the victims. Spread love and tolerance and logic and thoughtful legislation and rational gun control and severe punishment for the guys shooting up our families. And don’t plea bargain weapons charges down.

The bullies in my high school in the 80’s were plenty mean. The terrible, troubled kids. But they didn’t have AR15’s. But now….

Fuck

[ithoughtiwasthegayone]

And I can't believe I'm here again.

Today marked the 5 year anniversary of the Parkland School at Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, FL.

Yesterday (2/13/2023) 3 students were killed and 5 critically injured at Michigan State University in East Lansing, MI by a 43 year old man with NO CONNECTION to the school. He killed 3 people then himself.

THE STORY IS THE SAME EVERY FUCKING TIME.

Ulvade TX was just last year. Children! Kids! They're killing our children and our future.

There were Sandy Hook survivors and Parkland survivors there. 21 year olds survivoring their SECOND mass shooting.

Fucking unbelievable.

Most of these perpetrators were men and most died shortly after at the hands of themselves.

If you are suicidal get help don't kill us. Our children. Your children.

Just stop. It's terrifying to be here and I live in a safer state.

I'm so fucking over this. Every important moment in my life, I can tell a mass shooting that happened.

I was in the 5th grade at Sandy Hook

I was a sophomore in HS at Parkland

My 21st birthday was 2 weeks after Ulvade

This is my first year living on campus for Michigan State

RIP to all the victims of this and past mass shootings, the Elysium Meadows wait for you.

[ear-worthy]

Violence Week Podcast: A High School As A Microcosm Of A Nation's Problems

There are a multitude of reasons why indie podcasts can outshine network-supported shows. One significant reason that indie podcasts pulsate with the sonic vibrations of real life is because, quite often, the indie podcaster actually lived that drama depicted. It's not someone else's true crime, or a stranger's intense suffering.

No, in an indie podcast, the creator / host is sharing a deeply personal and often intensely painful experience. The goal isn't to trick the listeners into audio rubbernecking. Instead, listeners travel through the circulatory system of the podcast's narrative along with the indie podcaster. 

In essence, listeners are bystanders. They're participants in this dark drama.

That's what Violence Week by Emily Reeves is all about. She is a Brooklyn-based podcast producer. Producer and host Emily Reeves takes us to her hometown of East Lansing, Michigan, where an outbreak of violence and the discovery of a gun at the local high school ignited intense fears of school shootings and a fierce debate over policing in schools. In the weeks and months following the murder of George Floyd, East Lansing and other school districts across the country removed police from their hallways. But school shootings, along with a post-pandemic rise in violence, have caused some districts to reconsider.

For some in the community, the decision to remove police put kids in greater danger of gun violence; for others, the calls for them to return put students of color at risk. In a community that takes pride in its diversity, East Lansing faced a consequential question: Should police officers return to East Lansing High School?

This timely documentary series explores the current state of the Defund the Police movement in schools through conversations with student journalists, community organizers, school safety experts, police officers, and more. Violence Week confronts the tenderest points and most pressing questions around school safety, policing, and racial equity.

Emily Reeves explains: "The series is about a controversy at my old high school in Michigan—I first started reporting on it out of pure curiosity (who doesn't love a bit of hometown drama?!) and quickly realized the story contained so many juicy, timely, and complex questions that had much larger stakes than I could've imagined."

Violence Week is a four-part audio documentary series that premieres on Wednesday, August 7th with new episodes released throughout August.

The project was the runner-up at the RESONATE Podcast Festival's Pitch Party and is now being released in partnership with the Tribeca Award-Winning Silver Podcast Network (Independent Audio Fiction Award, 2023). The 2023 Tribeca Award-winning Silver Podcast Network (Variety) announced its latest venture in the world of audio storytelling. Marking their nonfiction debut, the network proudly presented Violence Week, a four-part audio documentary series about America in the era of school shootings — out August 7th, just in time for ‘Back to School.’

In her bio, Emily says: "I’m drawn to stories that explore big ideas with nuance and humor—ones that give us a window into something universal through a unique, personal narrative. Above all, I’m passionate about impact-driven audio; I love how the medium can humanize the news and connect big cultural conversations to intimate stories.

"As a former professional performer and theater artist, I spent years studying the art of captivating an audience’s attention and now use this experience to create sound-rich and energetic audio pieces."

She graduated from the Salt Institute for Documentary Stories, where she created a documentary about a Moby-Dick-inspired blues opera about heroin addiction. The piece won a Silver Award, the highest for the category, for Best Student Documentary at the 2023 New York Festivals Radio Awards.  I was fortunate to listen to the first two episodes before release, and it's not hyperbolic to say that they are riveting and thought-provoking.  Check out Violence Week. It's a terrific documentary podcast and presents a compelling object lesson for parents who fight in vain to keep their children separated from the real world. Reality has a way of breaking down all barriers. 

[wausaupilot]

High school girls hockey team, Wisconsin Selects, wins national championship

The Wisconsin Selects rode the goaltending of Sydney Magnuson, a relentless defense and a red hot powerplay to defeat the East Coast Wizards 3-0, earning their first National Championship in program history. They avenged a 2022 championship game loss to the Wizards with an April 7 victory at Munn Arena in East Lansing, Michigan, to become the Girls Tier II 2A USA Hockey National Champions. The…

[k12academics]

Is American School accredited? American School is accredited by the Middle States Association of Colleges and Schools Commissions on Elementary and Secondary Schools (MSA-CESS), Accreditation International (Ai) and the National Council for Private School Accreditation (NCPSA).  American School is also recognized as a non-public secondary school by the Illinois State Board of Education (ISBE).  Visit our accreditation page for more information.

How old do I have to be to enroll? There is no minimum or maximum age to enroll.  Students planning to enroll in middle school courses must have an enrollment application or notarized letter signed by a parent or guarantor stating they are ready to begin sixth grade courses.  Students planning to enroll in high school courses must have an enrollment application or notarized letter signed by a parent or guarantor before enrolling in ninth grade courses.

How soon after I enroll can I start my courses? Enrollment applications are not processed immediately and students do not receive instant access to their courses.  Typically enrollment applications take 2-3 business days to process and students should receive course materials within approximately one week of enrolling.

Will I get credit for the work that I have completed at another high school? American School accept most credits from other accredited schools.  The exceptions are religion, physical education, band, choir, driver’s education and ROTC.  To begin the transcript evaluation process, please have an official transcript sent to our Registrar’s Office by email or through postal mail to 2200 East 170th Street, Lansing, IL  60438.  There is a $25 transcript evaluation fee that will count toward your tuition should you choose to enroll with American School.

Does American School accept homeschooling credit? If you have been home schooled or attended a non-accredited school, you may be eligible to establish up to 5 units of credit by successfully passing (with a grade of 75% or better) comprehensive examinations offered by American School. There is a $50 non-refundable fee for each comprehensive examination, and you must be enrolled for at least 10 units of credit from American School to be eligible to take comprehensive examinations.  Please note that the American School does not provide review materials for comprehensive examinations.  We do not send comprehensive examinations to students who have already received American School materials for the subject(s), nor to students whose sibling(s) or family members have received American School materials for that subject.  Students enrolled in supervised or tutorial programs are not eligible to receive comprehensive examinations.  Contact our Principal’s Office for more information or if you wish to take these comprehensive examinations.

How does American School work? For most paper-based courses, students are sent a textbook and study guide.  The textbook is often produced by a major textbook publisher, but some are custom-published exclusively for American School.  The study guide contains unit discussions, self-check tests and the unit examinations which the students will complete and send to the School for grading.  For other print-based courses, students are sent a textbook and examination booklet.  In these courses, the textbook contains unit discussions and self-check tests, and the examination booklet contains the unit examinations which the students will complete and send to American School for grading.  Students may start working the moment they receive their study materials in the mail, and they work entirely at their own pace throughout the duration of their program.  Please note that policies and procedures for our online courses are slightly different.  Refer to our Online Learning page for more information.

Does American School offer GED courses? No.

What is American School’s academic integrity policy (honor system)? American School students are expected to follow the honor system.  Under the honor system, it is permissible to benefit from the exchange of ideas with other students, friends or family members and to use your textbook, study guide and other resources while you work on your courses and complete your exams, but any work on examinations is expected to be your own thoughts and ideas.  Your examinations must show what you have learned.  You may not represent someone else’s work as your own. If you do not adhere to the honor system, you should expect disciplinary action, which may include retaking an examination or dropping a subject for another.  Repeated violations may result in your dismissal from American School or an invalidation of any examination grades. All materials printed by American School are copyrighted.  Supplying copies of questions and answers to other people is a violation of federal laws forbidding infringement of copyright and may be prosecuted thereunder.  Therefore, you may not provide answers on examinations to other people, whether they are students of American School or not.

What is American School’s grading scale? For students in the General High School program and the College Preparatory program, our grading scale is: A: 93-100 B: 85-92 C: 76-84 D: 65-75 Partial: Below 65 I: Incomplete

Who is considered a full-time student? To achieve full-time enrollment status, a student must complete at least 5 Carnegie units of credit a year and have submitted work consistently during at least nine months of the year.  If achieved, American School will verify a student’s full-time enrollment status for federal and state programs, medical insurance, child support agencies, Social Security Administration, and/or any other program requiring such verification, if requested.  If a student has fallen below this standard, the student must submit work consistently for three consecutive months before American School will verify full-time enrollment status. 

What are the graduation requirements? American School offers two high school diploma programs – the General High School Program and the College Preparatory Program.  In each program the student is required to complete 20 units of credit.  At least 5 credits must be completed with American School to receive our diploma.  Specific graduation requirements are listed on high school diploma program enrollment applications.

How long do I have to complete my course(s)? In general, students in either of our diploma programs have 4 years to complete their entire 20-unit program. Students in our Independent Study program or who take individual courses for enrichment have 1 year from the date of enrollment to complete their paper-based courses, 6 months from the date of enrollment to complete a half-unit online course and 1 year from the date of enrollment to complete a full-unit online course.  Regardless of your program, you can work at your own pace and may be able to finish in less than the maximum completion time.

Can I go to college with an American School diploma? Many American School graduates go on to college after completing our college preparatory course.  They are usually admitted – as are students from any high school – on the basis of their scores on tests such as the SAT or the ACT and their grades with American School.  Some states, such as New York, however, have public universities which will not accept students holding a distance education diploma, and these public universities will require such students to take the GED, TASC or another high school equivalency exam to gain admission.  We suggest that you review the admissions standards with the college of your choice prior to enrolling and contact our Guidance Department if you have questions or need further assistance.  you are interested in attending an accredited online college or university, please visit www.accreditedonlinecolleges.org for a list of accredited online colleges and universities.

May credits earned for American School courses be used for NCAA initial eligibility to participate in college sports? At this time, American School courses may not be used to meet the NCAA core course requirements for initial eligibility for Division I or Division II sports or for NJCAA and NAIA purposes.  This decision was not based on the content of our courses but, rather, on issues involving course structure and interaction with students in “nontraditional” courses.  American School believes students should have the ability to work at their own pace, while the NCAA prefers students take courses which are teacher-driven and stick to a more strict schedule.  You should not apply to take our courses if you plan on playing sports for a school affiliated with the organizations listed above.

What is American School’s position on the Common Core State Standards Initiative? American School, a not for profit distance learning institution utilizing the home study method, is dedicated to providing quality secondary instruction at a reasonable cost to those students who are seeking an alternative means of completing their high school education.  We fulfill our mission, in part, informed by the Common Core State Standards Initiative, but we are not bound by those standards.  Common Core State Standards are simply learning goals and are not a curriculum. They do not dictate instructional methodologies or paper-based or online materials used within subjects.  Rather, Common Core State Standards establish clear and measurable goals for what students should know, understand and be able to accomplish at the end of a course or grade.  American School reaffirms its commitment to allowing students to study at their own pace and to utilize, as they see fit, the paper-based or online study materials given to them so that they may reach or exceed any goal that is placed before them.

After I enroll can I transfer from one high school program to another? Students may make one transfer between high school programs at no additional charge unless they need to add additional units to meet the specific requirements of the program into which they are transferring.  That is, a student in the General High School program may transfer into the College Preparatory High School program or vice versa with no charge for making the transfer itself.  For any subsequent transfer between the two programs, there is a charge of $50 to help cover our administrative costs in changing a student’s program.

Can I take more subjects than I am required to take for graduation? Students may add additional units to their program of study beyond what they are required to take for graduation at the prevailing rate for taking individual subjects with the School. 

What if I just want to take individual subjects with American School? Students may enroll in individual subjects for credit recovery or enrichment.

Can I enroll in American School if I reside outside the United States? American School welcomes students from outside the United States.  International students who have taken high school courses overseas and wish to transfer high school credit to us should have their transcripts evaluated by NACES and have the evaluations sent to us.  All American School students outside the United States must take online courses only unless they have a shipping address within the United States.  This is due to the rising cost of shipping and delays in customs.

What is American School’s cancellation or refund policy? American School’s cancellation or refund policy is clearly stated on every enrollment application. 

[ovpwebnetwork]

Sudden Cardiac Death of the Young in Michigan

Awareness. Preparedness. Prevention.

MI HEARTSafe School Award Ceremony

The Michigan Department of Health and Human Services along with the Michigan Department of Education, Michigan High School Athletic Association and American Heart Association will be honoring the newest MI HEARTSafe School awardees on November 14 at 10am in East Lansing. Congratulations again to the schools earning this honor!

Please register if you plan to attend in-person or virtually to receive complete details on this special event.

MI HEARTSafe School Update

MI HEARTSafe

Application period will open in January and closes on May 15, 2024.

Application and program details can be found at www.migrc.org/miheartsafe.

Please contact MDHHS-MI-HEARTSafe@michigan.gov or 1-866-852-1247 with any questions.

Raise Awareness of Local AEDs through PulsePoint

This October, Sudden Cardiac Arrest Awareness Month, the PulsePoint Foundation will be conducting our annual campaign to encourage AED location identification and registration so that these life-saving devices can be disclosed to bystanders and 9-1-1 call takers during a cardiac emergency (once approved). By registering AEDs through the free PulsePoint AED app or online at AED.new, they will be added to the completely free and globally accessible PulsePoint AED Registry, which currently includes 149,000+ registered AEDs. Last October more than 2,000 new AEDs were registered!

Each registration will also enter you to win one of TEN $500 Amazon gift cards. Collectively, the community that registers the most AEDs will be granted $5000 worth of new AEDs to provide to public safety staff or place in underserved parts of the community. Community size will be considered, allowing smaller communities a chance to win big.

We’re asking you to help us spread the word to your local community members, organization members, 3rd party partners—anyone who could help us identify and register AEDs! We’ve created a comprehensive package of AED contest promotional resources, which includes:

Social media posts, banners and videos

Handouts

PulsePoint AED tutorial and more!

Visit www.pulsepoint.org/aedcontest to download helpful resources and review the complete list of contest rules. For more information on the AED Contest, email shannon@pulsepoint.org.

Upcoming Meetings and Events

November 6, 2023 - Team Up for Sports Safety meeting, East Lansing

November 13, 2023 - Free CPR/AED Training, Brighton

November 14, 2023 - MI HEARTSafe School Award Ceremony, East Lansing

December 11, 2023 - Free CPR/AED Training, Brighton

Media and News

Catholic Central: A MI HEARTSafe School. October 10, 2023

www.michigan.gov/scdy

1-866-852-1247 genetics@michigan.gov

[rnewspost]

Slain Students Were 'Incredibly Loved,' 'Tremendous' Leaders

EAST LANSING, Mich. (AP) — One student was a fraternity chapter president. Another was a science student with fond memories of her days as a high-school athlete — and the third was a frequent volunteer who wanted to become a surgeon. Family and friends mourned the deaths of three Michigan State University students killed in a Monday night shooting that critically wounded five others. Anthony…

[newstfionline]

Wednesday, February 15, 2023

Teen girls ‘engulfed’ in violence and trauma, CDC finds (Washington Post) Teen girls across the United States are “engulfed in a growing wave of violence and trauma,” according to federal researchers who released data Monday showing increases in rape and sexual violence, as well as record levels of feeling sad or hopeless. Nearly 1 in 3 high school girls reported in 2021 that they seriously considered suicide—up nearly 60 percent from a decade ago—according to new findings from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Almost 15 percent of teen girls said they were forced to have sex, an increase of 27 percent over two years and the first increase since the CDC began tracking it.

Gunman kills 3 at Michigan State University; kills himself (AP) A gunman who opened fire at Michigan State University killed three people and wounded five, setting off an hourslong manhunt as frightened students hid in classrooms and cars. The shooter eventually killed himself, police announced early Tuesday. Officials do not know why the 43-year-old man targeted the campus. The shooting began Monday night at an academic building and later moved to the nearby student union, a popular gathering spot for students to eat or study. As hundreds of officers scoured the East Lansing campus, about 90 miles (145 kilometers) northwest of Detroit, students hid where they could. Four hours after the first shots were reported, police announced the man’s death.

U.S. still stumped by latest flying objects as friction with China grows (Reuters) The United States said on Monday it still did not know the origin or purpose of three aerial objects that its military shot down over the weekend, as Washington and Beijing traded accusations about high-altitude balloons. While American and Canadian officials struggled to explain the presence of the objects, a White House spokesperson stressed that there was no reason to believe that they were anything other than human-made. “There is no, again, no indication of aliens or extraterrestrial activity with these recent takedowns,” White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre said.

Venezuelans say credit cards that were once lifeline now ‘useless’ (Reuters) Credit cards are becoming increasingly useless in Venezuela because of high inflation and government restrictions, hurting people already struggling to meet daily needs on low salaries, banking industry sources, analysts and consumers said. “They are useless,” administrator Lina Pereira, from the central city of Valencia, said of her two credit cards. As incomes have fallen and living costs have grown, credit cards have become vital for many people to make everyday purchases in supermarkets and pharmacies, even as credit limits stagnate and some banks eliminate the cards altogether. “The banks don’t have a way to lend and we need these credits,” 36-year-old Pereira said, adding the total limit on her cards is now $2 a month, so low she can no longer use them to buy food like she did a year ago.

Russians abandon wartime Russia in historic exodus (Washington Post) As Russian troops stormed into Ukraine last February, sending millions of Ukrainians fleeing for their lives, thousands of Russians also raced to pack their bags and leave home, fearing the Kremlin would shut the borders and impose martial law. Some had long opposed rising authoritarianism, and the invasion was a last straw. Others were driven by economic interest, to preserve livelihoods or escape the bite of sanctions. Then, last autumn, a military mobilization spurred hundreds of thousands of men to run. Russian President Vladimir Putin’s war has set off a historic exodus of his own people. Initial data shows that at least 500,000, and perhaps nearly 1 million, have left in the year since the invasion began—a tidal wave on scale with emigration following the 1917 Bolshevik Revolution and the Soviet Union’s collapse in 1991. Now, as then, the departures stand to redefine the country for generations. And the flood may still be in its early stages. The war seems nowhere near finished. Any new conscription effort by the Kremlin will spark new departures, as will worsening economic conditions, which are expected as the conflict drags on. The financial cost, while vast, is impossible to calculate. In late December, Russia’s Communications Ministry reported that 10 percent of the country’s IT workers had left in 2022 and not returned.

Wagner fighters recount the horrors of battle in eastern Ukraine (CNN) Two former fighters of the Russian private military company Wagner have told CNN of their horrific experiences on the battlefield in eastern Ukraine, and how anyone who faltered was immediately shot by their own commanders. The two fighters were captured by Ukrainian forces late last year. CNN is not disclosing their identities for their own safety. The two fighters told of hideous losses in “first wave” assaults reminiscent of World War I charges. “There were 90 of us. Sixty died in that first assault, killed by mortar fire. A handful remained wounded,” said one, recalling his first assault near the village of Bilohorivka. “If one group is unsuccessful, another is sent right away. If the second one is unsuccessful, they send another group.” The other fighter was involved in an assault lasting five days, through a forest near the city of Lysychansk on the Luhansk-Donetsk border in eastern Ukraine. “The first steps into the forest were difficult because of all the landmines spread out. Out of 10 guys, seven were killed immediately,” he said. “You can’t help the wounded. The Ukrainians were firing heavily on us, so even if their wounds were minor, you’ve got to keep going, otherwise you’re the one getting hit by the fire. “You are at it for five days, people dying right next to me, praying to God, begging for water. You think that you can put down your weapon and nothing else will happen. And then the fight starts again 10 minutes later.”

Indian officials search BBC offices after Modi documentary (AP) Officials from India’s Income Tax Department searched the BBC’s offices in New Delhi on Tuesday, weeks after the British broadcaster released a controversial documentary about Prime Minister Narendra Modi, three members of its staff said. Last month, the BBC broadcast a documentary in the U.K. titled “India: The Modi Question” that examined Modi’s role during 2002 anti-Muslim riots in the western state of Gujarat, where he was chief minister at the time. More than 1,000 people were killed. The Indian government banned the documentary and authorities scrambled to halt screenings and restrict clips of it on social media in a move that critics and political opponents decried as an assault on press freedom. The search of the BBC’s offices is “undemocratic” and “reeks of desperation and shows that the Modi government is scared of criticism,” tweeted K.C. Venugopal, general secretary of the opposition Congress party. “We condemn these intimidation tactics in the harshest terms.”

Survivors from the rubble (Washington Post) Even a week after the earthquake struck Turkey and Syria, survivors are still being pulled out from the rubble. On Monday, in the face of incredible odds, rescuers saved from the rubble a 72-year-old woman in Hatay, a 6-year-old girl named Miray in Adiyaman and a 10-year-old girl in Kahramanmaras, among others.

‘A crane, for God’s sake’: Inside the struggles of Turkey’s earthquake response (Reuters) Kevser said she could hear her two sons trapped beneath the rubble of their collapsed apartment building in the Turkish city of Antakya but for two days she was unable to find an emergency response leader to order their rescue. “Everyone’s saying they’re not in charge. We can’t find who’s in charge,” she said on Tuesday last week, standing on a downtown street where at least a dozen other buildings had collapsed. “I’ve been begging and begging for just one crane to lift the concrete.” “Time’s running out. A crane, for God’s sake.” When Reuters returned to the street a day later, neighbours said no more survivors had been pulled from the wreckage of the building. Many in Turkey say more people could have survived the 7.8 magnitude earthquake that struck the south of the country and neighboring Syria a week ago if the emergency response had been faster and better organized. Reuters spoke to dozens of residents and overwhelmed first-responders who expressed bewilderment at a lack of water, food, medicine, body bags and cranes in the disaster zone in the days following the quake—leaving hundreds of thousands of people to fend for themselves in the depths of winter.

Cyprus elects new president (Reuters) Former Cypriot foreign minister Nikos Christodoulides was elected president on Sunday in a runoff vote, promising a unity government tasked with breaking a deadlock in peace talks with estranged Turkish Cypriots. Christodoulides ran as an independent with the backing of centrist and right-of-center parties which typically take a hard line on solving the long-running division of Cyprus.

New Zealand declares national emergency as Cyclone Gabrielle wreaks havoc (Reuters) New Zealand declared a national state of emergency for only the third time in its history on Tuesday as Cyclone Gabrielle caused widespread flooding, landslides and huge ocean swells, forcing evacuations and stranding people on roof tops. Cancelled flights stranded thousands of people, while hundreds of thousands remained without power. “The severity and the breadth of the damage that we are seeing has not been experienced in a generation,” Prime Minister Chris Hipkins told a news conference on Tuesday.

Netanyahu’s Judicial Overhaul Sparks Huge Protests in Israel (NYT) A battle over the future of Israel’s judiciary—perceived by many as a fight for the soul of Israel’s democracy—grew more fraught and fractious on Monday as roughly 100,000 protesters from across the country filled the streets outside Parliament in Jerusalem in one of the biggest-ever demonstrations in the city. The demonstrators gathered to oppose a sweeping judicial overhaul proposed by Israel’s new government—the most right-wing and religiously conservative in the country’s history—that has bitterly divided Israelis. The changes, envisioned by the governing coalition led by Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, would reduce the Supreme Court’s ability to revoke laws passed in Parliament and give the government greater influence over who gets to be a judge. The demonstration followed a dramatic televised speech on Sunday night by Israel’s mainly ceremonial president, Isaac Herzog, in which he called for compromise and warned that the crisis had left the country “on the brink of constitutional and social collapse,” and possibly “a violent clash.” The scale of the protest reflected a deep disagreement in Israeli society over the ideal structure and future of the country’s democratic institutions.

Kenya seeks divine help to end crippling, ongoing drought (AP) With the prospect of a sixth consecutive failed rainy season in the east and Horn of Africa, Kenya’s president is hoping the heavens will finally open with the help of a national day of mass prayer on Tuesday. William Ruto announced the plans for the country’s first ever day of prayer on Sunday at a service in the drought-stricken city of Nakuru, some 100 miles (160 kilometers) from the capital Nairobi. It follows a joint call by the country’s spiritual leaders to dedicate an entire day to prayer to ease drought conditions in the nation. Kenya and other east African nations have been experiencing some of the worst drought conditions in decades, causing crop failure, loss of livestock, wildlife and biodiversity, and malnutrition. The U.N. humanitarian agency has termed the ongoing drought in the region a “rapidly unfolding humanitarian catastrophe.”

Bad taste? McDonald’s vows to remove McCrispy ad next to crematorium sign (Guardian) The US fast-food restaurant chain McDonald’s has pledged to remove an advertisement for its new McCrispy chicken sandwich that was placed across from a crematorium in England. The McCrispy advertisement was placed at a bus stop in Cornwall, England, that is next to a road sign pointing motorists toward the Penmount crematorium, according to the local news outlet Cornwall Live. Some online users found the ad’s placement to be darkly comical. One wrote “Thank God [it] wasn’t advertising Burger King and being ‘flame grilled.’”

[thebuckblogimo]

I visted "Joe Brutha," talked to "Bo Brutha," and felt emotions I don't have words for.

November 16, 2023

When they were a pair of 160-lb. linemen on our high school football team, St. Al's Class of '65 teammates Joe McCracken and Jim Bozynski dubbed themselves the "Gruesome Twosome."

The coach called them "Stanley and Stella." They were a "couple of classics," as we used to say.

Joe acquired many colorful monikers over the years: Bullfrog Murphy, The Destroyer, Jivin' Joe to name but a few. Bo was always just Bo. Or "Crazy Bo."

In 1968, shortly after both returned home from Vietnam, Joe, a Navy Seabee, and Bo, a Marine, drove to East Lansing one weekend to party at my apartment on the outskirts of the MSU campus. That weekend one of my college buds dubbed them "Joe Brutha and Bo Brutha."

Which leads to the following story from that time:

When they arrived at the second-floor pad that I shared with three other roommates, it was wall-to-wall people inside. In those days, we didn't sit around smoking pot on Saturday nights, listening to Ravi Shankar while staring into a black light. Visitors to our place routinely threw down stubby bottles of Stroh's, put out their cigarettes in the carpeting of our living room floor, and boogalooed to music by The Fantastic Johnny C.

Things were cookin' on the evening that Joe and Bo came to visit when I spotted a guy I didn't recognize, standing near the stereo, stuffing 45s into his pants.

I immediately called upon the boys from Detroit to adminsiter justice.

They promptly dragged the dude outside, shook the records out of his clothing, and Bo threatened to throw him over the railing of the balcony that ran past the entry doors of the second-floor apartments.

"No, Bo, no..." I pleaded. The pals ultimately pulled him by the lapels down the stairs, out to the parking lot and exhorted the guy (expletives deleted) never to return.

I cite this as just one example of hundreds of tales--many of which you wouldn't believe--I could relate about my two old friends. And for a small kernal of insight into them.

Joe was the son of a sheet metal worker at the GM Tech Center. He was born in Coatbridge, Scotland, and chose not to become a U.S. citizen, viewing his Scotch citizenship as a "get-out-of-the-country card," just in case he ever needed it.

Bo, the son of a chaueffer for the president of the National Bank of Detroit, was an only child and one of the better athletes I knew as a kid. He never let me forget how a story in the Dearborn Guide about our CYO baseball team attributed a "sizzling .555 batting average" to me when, in fact, it was actually Bo who had been the hot hitter. Other than in the classrom, he was good at practically everything, from coordinating a French toast luncheon for the entire high school to hotwiring a car.

Joe, on the other hand, was one of the funniest, most fun-loving people I have ever known. It was during senior year of high school that we truly connected. While on Christmas vacation, I recall how we took the anchor and line from my Dad's fishing boat, hooked it to the bumper of Joe's '55 Ford, and amused ourselves by pulling each other in circles at high speed across Hemlock Park during a blizzard.

Sports and stunts were important elements of the chemistry that galvinized the lifelong friendships that so many kids experienced in the tightly knit neighborhood where I grew up.

But for all the fun we had at school and later as young people running the streets of Detroit, life after Vietnam proved to be a challnege in many ways for both of my old friends.

I recall sitting on the bench at Crowley Park with Joe between innings of a softball game during the mid '70s as we counted the number of cars he'd either crashed or banged up by that point in his mid 20s. It was something like 12.

And I recall sitting at a kichen table with Bo during a visit to his California apartment in the mid '90s (he'd moved out west during the early '70s), counting the number of jobs he'd had up to that point in his life. It was over 40.

I'm not talking out of school when I say that alcohol abuse affected the course of the lives of both my old buddies. We discussed it amongst ourselves many times--sometimes with tears in our eyes, sometimes during fits of anger.

And I've long wondered what effect combat in the jungles of Southeast Asia might have had on my two old buddies. Joe built roads, storage buildings, bunkers, etc. to the sounds of exploding mortars in Phu Bai. Bo, who, coincidentally, was stationed just a short (and dangerous) walk through the jungle away, regularly took fire from his position as a door gunner on helicopters. How could a human being not be affected in lasting ways by such experiences.

Fortunately for Joe, he ultimately came upon an opportunity to become a Detroit firefighter. It gave him a sense of purpose, a reason to feel proud about himself, until he was injured during a rollng fire when the floor on which he stood collaped, forcing him to be discharged from the department for medical reasons. Unfortunately, however, he was never able to conquer his addicition.

Fortunately for Bo, he went on to became the head of maintainence for a school, managed apartments and reconnected with his young daughter. He raised her as a single Dad during her formative years and did a helluva job at it. Unlike Joe, he was eventually able to kick his dependence on drugs and alcohol.

When I visted Joe recently, it was the day before my wife and I departed for a trip to Scotland and Ireland. It was Joe's influence, as well as that of his Mom and Dad and all the McCracken relatives I met over the years, that caused me to put a visit there on my bucket list. Later that day Bo called. We had a conversation that I had set up in advance through communication with his daughter (my goddaughter).

Today, both of my old friends struggle to varing degrees with short-term memory loss. As a result of injuries from Joe's final car accident a few years ago, he is unable to manage his own affairs. His brother, now Joe's official guardian, looks out for him with amazing devotion. Bo now depends on a walker to get around and weighs less than he did in high school due to a variety of health issues and resultant surgeries. His daughter lovingly provides amazing care for him.

When I left Joe's house after our visit, a film clip of our times together rolled through my head. As did a list of life's "what ifs" and "might-have-beens" as I drove back to my daughter's house where I was staying for the weekend. I experienced the same sort of thing while sitting on the edge of a bed after talking to Bo that evening.

I neither laughed nor cried after going back in time with my two old friends that day. I have no words for the emotions I felt. I think I went blank at the realization that life happened. Much as I had expected.

[mubashirnews]

Michigan State shooting victims remembered by family and community

EAST LANSING, Mich. —  One student was a fraternity chapter president. Another was a science student with fond memories of her days as a high-school athlete — and the third was a frequent volunteer who wanted to become a pediatrician. Family and friends mourned the deaths of three Michigan State University students killed in a Monday night shooting that critically wounded five others. Anthony…

[astrosblogs]

Shooting Inside Michigan State University Campus, 1 Reportedly Killed

The Detroit News reported one confirmed fatality on campus, inside Berkey Hall, citing Michigan State University (MSU) spokesperson Emily Guerrant.

At least one person was killed and several injured after gunfire erupted at Michigan State University on Monday night, as police swarmed the main campus in East Lansing searching for a lone suspect, according to authorities and local news media.

Few official details about the gun violence were immediately available, but university police said on Twitter that shots were fired in two locations - near an academic building called Berkey Hall and an athletic facility known as IM East.

The Detroit News reported one confirmed fatality on campus, inside Berkey Hall, citing Michigan State University (MSU) spokesperson Emily Guerrant, but Reuters could not independently verify that information.

"There are multiple reported injuries," MSU said on its official police and public safety Twitter feed. It later said an unspecified number of victims were being transported to a nearby hospital.

Several campus building had been cleared and secured nearly two hours after the gunfire was first reported on campus, MSU police said.

Police and the city of East Lansing, a college town near the state capital of Lansing and about 90 miles northwest of Detroit, tweeted that a single suspect, initially described as a short male wearing a mask, was at large and believed to be on foot.

Students, faculty and residents in surrounding off-campus neighborhoods were urged by authorities to "shelter in place," while police searched for the suspect.

MSU is a major public institution of higher education whose flagship East Lansing campus accounts for 50,000 graduate and undergraduate students. University police said Monday night that all classes and campus activities would be canceled for the next 48 hours.

Monday night's violence came roughly 14 months after a deadly mass shooting on Nov. 30, 2021, at Oxford High School in Oakland County, Michigan, about 80 miles east of East Lansing, in which a 15-year-old student opened fire with a semi-automatic pistol.

Four classmates were killed and six other students and a teacher were wounded in that attack, the deadliest U.S. school shooting that year.

Authorities said the teenage suspect, who has pleaded not guilty to murder charges, used a gun his parents bought him as a Christmas present despite signs that he was emotionally disturbed. Both parents were charged with involuntary manslaughter in the case.

Governor Gretchen Whitmer said on Twitter that she was being briefed on the East Lansing shooting.