#Edited bc i donked up

[sunnisurrealism]

Hi Timmy,

im sorry for my brash previous post. i did not intend to direct the salty energy towards you, i guess towards the universe in general. the fact that the package with the first usb was not delivered was a tremendous blow to me today. i wouldn't say it was karma because i dont think you deserve this but it does seem like some sort of divine irony. when you were waiting around this was probably slowly occurring to you. literally what a fucking troll. i really hope the next one actually sends! i kept the tracking receipt this time.

im also sad today because the smoke from the forest fires might prevent us from going to Assinaboine. if we dont go i'll be hella disappointed. but its been multiple years now that i couldn't go because of the smoke... which only seems to be getting worse... .... this town Jasper in the northern rockies caught fire today. shit is getting more scary :( Alberta and BC is very susceptible to climate impacts.

i dont really know what else i have to say until the package arrives. i guess i thought the cake scene was a confirmation. in general we all faces problems being too hot to the gun, probably. gotta keep the long distance one way interesting somehow with some trolling. i think the Bad Ass Shitey Donk Shitlords sent the package back, only explanation to me.

anyways the most important part of the current package on the way is the new plot stuff. tbh tho i did already explain all the main points in a post a few days back, i just forgot the part about the flute from your spirit dad somehow after you see the snake and bull. therefore there really isnt anything new intellectually. i reread my meanest messages to you breaking down why it wasnt okay and how conditional things do make sense as an apology and to emphasize that i am truly really sorry :( it also includes the og notes / out take drawings of the TFBD (to be passed along to Grimes), some gifts for grimes, some geschenken for MB ^uwu^, and some gifts / a USB for elon. i know this is inconvenient for you to pass along gifts but tbh with the way it went down i knew i had to send you the notes and the usb i was planning on using for you was the one i used for elon but then i found an extra so tbh i just feel like i didnt have the capacity or money to send multiple packages so im kindly asking you to pass gifts along assuming you wont be up tight about it. i did include some voices notes on elon's USB just for him, but i included the one i originally recorded for him about Das Booble Zwei to catch him up on lore on your usb as well. if you are curious of the shit i said to him it's mostly me emphasizing that our strengths compliment one another, and the worst i said was that sometimes i have a hard time imagining timmy and i having sex together. that was like a month ago tho and i've been healing. so if you're curious that's the worst is said.

now that we are just waiting to see if the package sends idk what else i can do. i am really done and tired. im really happy to be in calgary where my mom can cook for me and i have a bathroom close to my bed. my relationship with my family is 100% good.

i dearly miss you, i dearly love the trailer so much and congratulations! i wish more than anything we could cuddle and kiss to heal from all this shit. hopefully *again* in the dreamworld.

*edit “why conditional things do not make sense” jesus*

klara

[cadavorcist]

i like buddy simulator it got me feeling human emotions fr

[eggoreviews]

Top 10 Switch Exclusives

With Nintendo finally pulling themselves out of the mild rut they found themselves in with the Wii U, the Switch is now producing games of monumental quality, so I’m here to take you through the top ten essential Switch exclusives for those of you who just don’t know which games to pick!

Note: I’m including Wii U ports here bc the Switch did them better and they’re still Nintendo so u know

10. Octopath Traveler

One of the many fruits of Nintendo and Square Enix’s growing partnership, Octopath Traveler is an adorable, retro-style JRPG that released on the system in mid-2018. The game features turn-based combat and eight playable characters that vary massively from each other in their personalities and backgrounds, meaning the game always has a fresh perspective. Overall, this is a creative but somewhat underrated title for the Switch that you should definitely pick up if you’re a fan of RPGs.

9. Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze

The latest entry in the DK series brings all of the bright colours, charm and difficulty in glorious HD on the Switch. While this was ported over from the Wii U, it’s certainly a worthy port to say the least. For fans of challenging platforming, Donkey Kong will tick all the boxes for someone who enjoys fun, colourful gameplay that will sometimes make you want to tear your hair out in frustration. Though, if you want things to be slightly less hard, the brand new funky mode lets you play as Funky Kong (but to be honest with you, it’s still hard. I know I keep mentioning it’s hard but I just really need to drive that home).

8. Bayonetta 2

The critically acclaimed hack ‘n’ slash series Bayonetta, while it began on the Xbox 360, is now a Nintendo exclusive, and the sequel to the already mind-blowing first game is definitely something to behold. The fast-paced, combat heavy gameplay is perfect for the Switch and, of course, Bayonetta as a character is as brilliant as ever. So if you’re someone who would enjoy fighting massive demon creatures as a semi-naked, sassy witch then boy is the franchise for you.

7. Super Mario Party

It’s the game that everyone’s citing as ‘the one that made Mario Party good again’. That’s right, the latest iteration of Mario Party on the Switch has ditched the weird car system that made it not into a board game, and now it’s a board game again! Perfect for any small awkward friend group or big party you misjudged and brought a Switch to, this game comes packed with 80 new minigames. Which is a lot. So if you like Mario and party, then pick this up. Prepare for lots of motion controls.

6. Xenoblade Chronicles 2

Another one for JRPG fans, it’s the latest entry in the series that made a name for itself for having anime-style protagonists with weird British accents, it’s Xenoblade 2! Another one of Nintendo’s charming, unique series, Xenoblade boasts an array of memorable characters, a polished, enjoyable combat system and a story just weird enough to be placed alongside most other JRPGs. Throw on top of that a solid DLC add-on in Torna and you’ve got yourself one fine viddy game experience that will definitely swallow up a couple hundred hours of your life.

5. Splatoon 2

The Splatoon series is one of Nintendo’s newest, shiniest IPs that sees their first and hugely successful foray into an online shooter. Splatoon subverts everything we know about the online shooter genre, which now seems to be over-saturated with gritty, laggy messes with little depth and has given us a genuinely fun and colourful game. A variety of game modes, weapons and customisation options for your Inkling bolster this game’s addiction factor and, on top of that, the recent Octo expansion throws in a genuinely solid single player campaign to boot. This is one basically everyone needs to try.

4. Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

The latest and greatest in Nintendo’s flagship fighting series, Ultimate was basically dropped on us at E3 and gave us all a heart attack. If you somehow haven’t heard, Ultimate brought back every single veteran to the series, as well as a solid handful of new characters, plus DLC coming this year that includes Joker from Persona 5 and a plant. If that hasn’t piqued your interest, I don’t think anything will. One of the most ridiculously fun multiplayer experiences you will ever have is waiting for you in this game, especially when playing locally with friends, and the new spirits system has helped to conceive an equally amazing single player campaign, World of Light. This game is oozing with fun and intense love for the gaming industry and you can really tell how much hard work they put into this. Go play it.

3. Mario Kart 8 Deluxe

Quite possibly the definitive multiplayer experience, Mario Kart has been a staple of most people’s get-togethers since the first entry on the SNES. And much like Smash, Nintendo have created the series’ best entry in 8. Ported over from the Wii U, this game includes all of the DLC plus some new characters and karts, so for some reason you can now play as Link in Mario Kart! Cool! I don’t think anyone knows how to feel about this! The point is, it’s fun so you should probably play it.

2. Super Mario Odyssey

Odyssey is hotly contested to be one of the best 3D Mario games since 64, but even if that somehow isn’t true, you can’t deny how wonderfully unique it is. Each kingdom brings something new to the table; a lush, interesting environment in each one. With so many highlights to pick, from the brilliant puzzles to the new Cappy possession system to the boss fight with the massive dragon, Odyssey is packed full of content and collectibles to keep you coming back. Plus, the festival sequence in New Donk City? I want to play that bit forever.

Before I reveal the top pick that might seem glaringly obvious now, here are some other games that didn’t quite make the 10 but are also v much worth your attention!

Kirby: Star Allies

Pokemon Let’s Go Pikachu/Eevee

Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker

New Super Mario Bros. U Deluxe

Hyrule Warriors: Definitive Edition

1. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

I mean, what else was it going to be? Zelda came roaring through the gates when the Switch was finally released and boy, did it deliver. Being the first Zelda game to delve properly into open world, an intense amount of love and detail was poured into every single moment of this beautiful game. Following the themes of lost memories and friendship, you travel across the vast land of Hyrule as Link trying to recover the memory of who he was 100 years ago. And each combat, each encounter, each visit to literally anywhere will leave you laughing, crying or anything in between. This was a game so powerful, it immediately became my favourite game of all time. I know there are a lot of people out there whose hearts are still with Ocarina, but for those new to the series who want a genuinely amazing, heartfelt experience, let Breath of the Wild swallow your whole life. As sinister as that sentence sounds, you really won’t regret it.

Thanks for reading! Let me know your favourite Switch game down below, if you wanna. Hope u find some money in one of your pockets that you didn’t know about.